SNF Live Blog: NYG-DAL, 1st Quarter

Sunday, September 09, 2007

All right, after all the awkwardness of that pre-game, we're ready to go!

5:15 - I hate Faith Hill singing the theme even more than I hated Pink singing it. When I think Faith Hill, I think NFL football. Right.

5:20 - THIS IS OUUURRRR COUNTRAY!!!! (Yes, apparently we have to go through yet another football season of this song being pumped through our TV screens, and I'm still gonna punch Mellencamp in the mouth if I ever meet him, despite the fact that he seems like a nice guy who could probably beat me up.)

And now, I think we're actually getting to the football.

Everson Walls and Ron Springs, the whole kidney donation story = sniffles. If not, you may be lacking a heart.

God, a familiar sight to Broncos and Bills fans: Wade Phillips looking confused as the Giants receive the kick-off. Lucky the ball came loose after the whistle, and here comes Elisha.

5:25 - Eli spirals a nice one to the Cancer, Amani Toomer for a first right off the bat after Jacobs gets stuffed -- and then hurls one deep to Plaxico Burress for a six. Gee, he's off to a rousing start.

And, since it's the Giants, they have to flub the extra point. 6-0, NYG.

As a native of Indiana, I apologize for John Mellencamps' "This is our country" being shoved down everyone's throat ad nauseum. 99.90% of high school scuds like Mellencamp wind up working at the local plastics manufacturing factory making 8.45 an hour. Besides, even us Hoosiers can't figure what wife he is on now. -- Smed

Fair enough. I think he's still with Elaine Irwin, the former Victoria's Secret model -- and complete MILF.

5:31 - Jones rushes for a couple, Romo throws an incompletion, and then follows it up with a bullet to Jason Witten for a first down.

Bring on Marion Barber, my fantasy team could use the points right now -- and Romo's going over the middle to Witten again, and the hole in the Giants' D will be letting the TE catch balls all night at this rate.

Good screen pass run to Julius Jones, and the Cowboys are pushing it closer to the red zone. I just remembered that the Giants D is playing for me in one fantasy league, and I'm cursing inside right now. Jones keeps busting through the line for another first down.

5:40 - 3rd and 10, and it's an incomplete to Sam Hurd. Here comes the kicking team. 6-3, NYG, and Osi Umeniyora is headed to the locker room. Not good for the Giants.
Bionic Woman...sigh...sometimes, I hate working for an NBC affiliate.

The best Elaine Irwin Mellencamp photo I could find:


Yep, I stand by the MILF assessment.

5:45 - Rush for about six by Jacobs, and offsides against Dallas for the first flag of the game. They'll be handing the Giants a first down -- ooh, some slapping to the helmet. NFC East matchup, getting chippy.

Drink lots of cranberry juice to get rid of your Umeniyora. - Hollywood Wags

More Strahan, says Andrea. More meat, I say.

Ooh, Eli's going all Sex Cannon on us and hurling it downfield...it looked good, but Toomer's other foot was out of bounds. If the Giants challenge it, they'll lose.

It appears that Ed "guns" Hoculi has kept to his off-seaon weightlifting regiment. -- mcoale

Gotta love Eddie Guns. Someone get that man a blood test!

5:50 - I smell trouble for any movie that has the Rock starring as a QB who discovers he has a daughter. Can't they just have a camera follow Travis Henry around for a season, make a documentary or something?

Giants pass on 4th down, and turn it over with an incomplete.

6:00 - Romo to Witten again on 3rd down.

"That wasn't unleaded in his [Strahan's] tank." - AM
"That was more like a quarter of a tank of regular." - JM

Two consecutive penalties and an unexpected snap. Safe to say the Cowboys are not in sync, and it continues on 3rd and 17 with an incomplete, and here comes the punt team.

Quarter over, NYG up 6-3.

Off to the second quarter....

15 Comments:

That song with her overwrought singing reminds me of that goddamn Sheryl Crow song the NFL fell in love with.

Does Jeff Garsssia pick the songs or or something.

Ahhh, John Cougar creating ennui and atmosphere, patriotism at it's core.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:23:00 PM  

As a native of Indiana, I apologize for John Mellencamps' "This is our country" being shoved down everyone's throat ad nauseum. 99.90% of high school scuds like Mellencamp wind up working at the local plastics manufacturing factory making 8.45 an hour.

Besides, even us Hoosiers can't figure what wife he is on now.

Smed said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:25:00 PM  

Drink lots of cranberry juice to get rid of your Umeniyora.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:38:00 PM  

It appears that Ed "guns" Hoculi has kept to his off-seaon weightlifting regiment.

mcoale said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:46:00 PM  

Ed Jockuli will kick your ass.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:47:00 PM  

That movie is already cursed. That's the picture where the Rock tore his Achilles while working out.

mcoale said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:55:00 PM  

Mark Mark playing Mark Wahlberg in a production of Stupid Guy from new York with a Boston Accent.

With Ed Harris as Robert Duvall.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:55:00 PM  

This is EXCITING football!

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:56:00 PM  

Wags - it's The Departed, set in NY or something.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:57:00 PM  

JM: yuh, buh, yuh, buh buh, uh uh uh and ya yuh yuhyuhyuh ananand well, buh yuhyuhyh. Ann ann.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 8:59:00 PM  

It looks like Marky Mark set in a Bad Movie using his Bad Accent.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 9:00:00 PM  

Wow.

A Peyton Manning Commercial.

Never seen one of those before.

mcoale said...
Sep 9, 2007, 9:02:00 PM  

Next movie:

Peyton Manning in a Ken Berry Production of Luther the Geek.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 9:04:00 PM  

This game is like watching the Browns play the Browns.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 9, 2007, 9:05:00 PM  

All Right, I commented on this the other night, but, I just heard Foreigner and just now "Doctor My Eyes" by Jackson Browne.

What's going on? Whose idea is this?
Better yet, who OK'd it, and why is it still happening?-Joe

Anonymous said...
Sep 9, 2007, 9:22:00 PM  

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