SNF Live-Blog: SD-NE, 2nd Quarter

NE at the 45, and Sammy Morris is pounding it to the 39 yard line of SD. Morris gets two more on another carry.

I know I said this last week, but I can't believe just how much Bionic Woman looks like it's going to suck. Thanks, NBC.

Donte Stallworth drops the pass, but SD gets called for a helmet-to-helmet hit on Brady, and it's first down for the Pats right now. Look, I understand protecting the QB, but it wasn't that fucking late. If you want, let's just put the QB in the non-contact jersey (some would joke that we should put him in a dress.)

Brady gets sacked by Mr. Lights Out himself, and falls on the ball. Next play is a strike to Moss to set up a 3rd and 2. And we have our first Brady/Joe Montana comparison, as we go to Devo's "Whip It" for the break.

The Gameplan looks like the worst movie with even a remote association with football EVER. Didn't we destroy the idea of the Rock as an actor a while back?

Oh, I get it. So we get montages about Brady, now Moss, and probably Wes Welker's next. Brady QB sneaks in SD territory, and it's a first down at the Charger 13. Sammy Morris gets stuffed, and where's Kool-Aid?

Jabar Gaffney is still on the Pats? I thought Chairman Hobo had all non-new wide receivers "disappeared." Anyway, good for him, he gets a catch, and the Gigantosaur (Merriman) stuffs Morris again. Gostkowski kicks it up and good for a 17-0 Pats lead.

Thanks to another Anon for noting the last bump was a Boston song. I don't recognize anything of theirs that isn't "More Than a Feeling." Sprowles gets mangled on the kickoff return, and we're doing more Candid Camera talk up here about where the video cams were located. Yawn. SD on offense again, and LDT runs, but this flag is probably offensive holding.

It's not. Eddie Guns explains, "It was not a hold. The defender was just overpowered."

Betcha that defender is probably glad Eddie Guns didn't mention him by number. He just got called out on national TV.

LDT gets stuffed on 3rd and 1 by the NE defense, and WE HAVE NORV FACE, PEOPLE!

I guess all these Cialis commercials means they know Wade Wilson is watching. - Dummy

+1 to you.

Oh, fuck this stupid ad already. Like an iPod Nano can have a video screen big enough to make it worth a damn. Goddamnit. Merriman has two sacks already and I left him on the bench today in the News League (we drafted a couple of individual D players each in the league.) Watson catches it for 13 on 3rd and 20, and here comes the punt team.

NFL "frequency coordinators." Gag me with a spoon. I care, really I do.

Oh, Christ. "Secret Agent Man." Who didn't see that one coming?

after every shawne merriman sack, steven jackson should come out of nowhere and start running the other way. - Lozo

Agreed.

Damn they put the star of "Chuck" up in the upperdeck. They must not have hopes for that show. - AA

Zach Levi, the star of Chuck, another douche getting pretend beat up by skinny women. Doesn't quite have the cache of, LEE MAJORS STAR OF THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN. - hollywood wags

What could, Wags? What could?

Rivers hurls it to Jackson from his own 32, and we've got a first down for SD. Hobbs smacks Buster Davis (rookie from LSU) while he's trying to catch, and it's 2nd and 10. Gates catches this time, and it's 3rd and short yardage. Absent in this play calling series: Tomlinson. Someone get the man a screen pass!

Adalius Thomas for the pick six, folks. You don't give the ball to Jesus on an obvious running down situation, that's what you get. 65-yard runback for Thomas. Gostkowski's kick is up and good, and it's 24-0, Patriots. Even more NORV! Face.

Tomlinson gets the ball up to the 40, and maybe the Chargers can get a face-saving score somewhere before the half. 3rd and 4 after a Michael Turner carry.

Might not want to put Phil Rivers on your fantasy squad...Ever. - Wags

Too fucking late; I drafted him late in one league. I'm losing that match this week. Michael Turner catches a checkdown pass on third down that'll force another punt.

How can you have LT and Michael Turner, and Lorenzo Neal blocking for them, and you can't move the ball on the ground for 6 quarters? - Anon @ 9:39

That's the magic of Norval Eugene Turner, Anon. NORV! Face looks kind of like Art Shell Face, only it occasionally shows exasperation. Maroney rushes for a couple of yards. Bump music is U2's "Desire."

I think that picture of Barry Switzer is going to keep me up at night. - dan

Nightmare fuel, indeed. Two minutes left, NE's got 2nd and 5 at their onw 25 and Kool-Aid jukes a tackler for an 11-yard gain and a 1st down. Kevin Faulk gets a catch just shy of the 1st down. Brady throws downfield to Stallworth, and Antonio Cromartie gets flagged for some P.I. Eddie Guns, in all his wisdom, explains exactly why (which is nice), and the arm bar by Cromartie gets NE a first down in Charger territory.

Brady tries for Stallworth on Cromartie again, and I bet the Pats' O has figured Antonio for a soft corner, otherwise they wouldn't try that twice in a row.

"He is so calm back there. I think he's calmer than Peyton Manning." - JM. Your friend's pet chihuahua that's barking all the time is calmer than Peyton Manning at the offensive line. Clinton Hart then promptly picks Brady, as Madden wipes the excess juice off his lip. Tomlinson carries to end the half, and it's 24 -0, Pats.

See you back here at the third quarter thread. Note anything too stupid during the halftime show here in comments (and by the way, all of you in the comments tonight are bringing your "A" games. Fabulous.)

Oh, and a music video break: Devo covering "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction."