Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com. Other goodness will be happening underneath this post so be sure to check it out.
We're starting with some reader submissions from the last night's game and I'll see for the twelve o'clock games in a few.
Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Eight
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Chris Spielman: "Louisville has a 3rd and 3 and UConn has been great
on third down defense tonight".
Obviously Chris wasn't looking at a stat sheet as at that point UL had
CONVERTED 10 of 15.
(Via Steve)
In the game tonight, Stoner (Rob Stone) just reported that Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe was 'swinging both ways'. I'm all for in-depth reporting, but this is a bit much... (3rd quarter, at approx. the 11:30 mark)
(Via Todd)
Ummmm what's going on here Kentucky?
"When he sees a crease he's up in there."- Desmond Howard
Me too Desmond...me too.
"They gave up 31 points to Troy and Brad Pitt wasn't the coach of that team."- Lee Corso
"Seven teams are on the cusp of eligbilly."- Ray Bentley
Pam actually laughed at him after that one. I thought she was incapable of emotion.
I know this is too easy...But Ray Bentley just called a Purdue player "The best receiving tight end in the country" (Via Matt)
Still funny though.
"Murray is able to get it through for three yards....three points rather."- Pam Ward
"They [the Purdue Breakfast Club] lined up at 7 AM to get some of their...favorite beverages." - Pam Ward, trying desperately not to make any references to alcohol. (Via S2N)
"Welcome to Floyd Casey Stadium in Baylor, Texas". Play-by-Play Man Ron Thulin at the 7:12 mark in 1st quarter (not realizing he is in Waco.) (Via BG)
"Good timeout by Penn State...you may catch them in a ball handling situation."- Andre Ware
"Who do you like in this Big Ten Deal?"- Ray Bentley
"Well I don't think anyone is going to go undefeated. We're over here with Ohio State...they're the last one in the conference."- Bob Griese
Umm no Bob....that's wrong.
"Christensen lucky that one wasn't almost batted away."- Pam Ward
Uhhh Pam...it was. Do you mean intercepted? I'm confused.
"You had facial hair for quite a few years." - Pammy
"Yeah, I had a Fu Manchu going on for a while there. A mustache is a big part of a man's identity. You shave it off, you almost feel naked." - Bentley
"Well, you shaved yours off. Do you feel naked right now?" - Pammy
"No. I feel young." - Bentley
I never want to hear Pam Ward ask anyone if they feel naked ever again. (Via S2N)
Oh don't worry.....you know I have video coming from that one! Is there some "in-booth" chemistry going on with Pam and Ray?
John Saunders said something like this on the pregame show on abc...should be a tough game, ucla only had that hiccup against Notre Dame. Hmmm...maybe you forgot when they got shlacked vs UTAH 44-6!! (Via Mike)
"This is a huge turning point play in this game."- Bob Griese
It's 49 seconds in Bob....I think we can wait a bit.
At the start of the 2nd quarter of the Ohio St-Mich St game, Bob Griese made reference to Brad Nessler's pink tie. Nessler says "Thank you, it's for breast awareness month."
Actually, it's breast CANCER awareness month. I like to think EVERY month is breast awareness month. (Via Corey)
Hahaha....speaking of "Awareness"....what's Erin Andrews up to today?
Nice...a little shawl type thingy. Such style.
"Think about playing quarterback here at USC: Carson Palmer wins a Heisman, Matt Leinart wins a Heisman, John David Booty has played very well, and now Mark Sanchez. It's like going out as a runway model after Heidi Klum." - Pat Haden (Via S2N)
"That one looked like you were ordering an omelet at breakfast it was so open."- Gary Danielson
(pause)
"You ain't seen nothing yet."-Verne Lundquist
What the hell are they even talking about?
"There was a big hole -- Will Ferrell could have run through that hole." - Pat Haden, He wants to get on the scoreboard badly. (Via S2N)
I'm glad someone's watching Notre Dame for me.
"When sholder goes down the umph goes South."- Verne Lundquitst
"11 points is better than 12" - Gary Danielson (Anon-just give him the trophy now)
"Buckeyes almost double the Spartans in yardage, 348 to 112."- Marty Bannister, OSU Radio Announcer (Via Anon)
Is there anything worse for an announcer to say then, "Dufrene gives Mendenhall a blow" - Brent Musburger
(Via Keyser Soze)
"South Florida will be replaced in the 2-hole." Brent Musberger (Via Gangsta D)
"The guys say he is so precious with the young boys."- Holly Rowe (Via Gangsta D)
"If he bobbles the ball at all, and it falls incomplete, it's over. You leave a timeout in your bag, the season — done." — Mike Patrick, in the final seconds of LSU's victory
If the pass was incompelte, the clock would have stopped with :03 (or at fewest :02) left! This comment makes no sense! (Via Anon)
"If that would've been a completion, that would've been a really great throw-and-catch."- Jay Taylor (Via Eric)
Not an announcer quote, but I've been seeing a lot of Teabag Tebow signs at Gameday, do you think they're just slow getting them out, or do they not know what Teabag means?
ReplyDeleteI also saw a T-bone Tebow....how unfunny is that?
ReplyDeleteI'd also rather see a Tebag Corso sign myself.
ReplyDeleteId say they are uninformed on the fine art of teabagging. They probably as dont know about the Cincinnati bow tie, Cleveland steamer or the pussy juice cocktail.
ReplyDeleteoverall these Kentucky signs are very weak. They obviously need Kige Ramsey to help them out.
ReplyDeleteAlso related to that picture- I spotted a "Believe in Blow" sign in the last 10 minutes of the broadcast. Must be a Cocaine themed Tailgate part today.....
ReplyDeleteHaha. In Kentucky? Nooooooo.
ReplyDeleteI know this is too easy...
ReplyDeleteBut Ray Bentley just called a Purdue player "The best receiving tight end in the country"
I thought the Big 10 Network was invented so ESPN didn't have to broadcast two Big 10 games first thing in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI should go back to bed.
"They [the Purdue Breakfast Club] lined up at 7 AM to get some of their...favorite beverages." - Pam Ward, trying desperately not to make any references to alcohol.
ReplyDelete"Jesse Smith, gold star on your helmet." - Dave Lapham after an open-field tackle.
ReplyDeleteEek....Pamela and Ray are interviewing Bob Griese part of the great qb tradition at Purdue according to ESPN...
ReplyDeleteThing is it sounds like a prank call...I swear you can almost hear Griese mumbling "who gave these people my cell phone number"
"You had facial hair for quite a few years." - Pammy
ReplyDelete"Yeah, I had a Fu Manchu going on for a while there. A mustache is a big part of a man's identity. You shave it off, you almost feel naked." - Bentley
"Well, you shaved yours off. Do you feel naked right now?" - Pammy
"No. I feel young." - Bentley
I never want to hear Pam Ward ask anyone if they feel naked ever again.
Is there some "in-booth" chemistry going on with Pam and Ray?
ReplyDeleteAA, with that implication, you've done what several Irish car bombs and white Russians could not do last night with that statement: make me want to puke.
John Saunders said something like this on the pregame show on abc...should be a tough game, ucla only had that hiccup against Notre Dame
ReplyDeletehmmmmm...maybe you forgot when they got shlacked vs UTAH 44-6!!
The "Ray's Bentley Award" video clip is just too much.
ReplyDeleteBrad Nessler is apparently wearing a pink tie for "Breast awareness month"...we need a month for this? He works with Erin Andrews for god sake.
ReplyDelete"Derrick Williams' brother Domonique played quarterback at North Carolina AT&T" - Andre Ward
ReplyDeleteI'm glad everyone watches the iowa games for Pam Ward. That way, even more people can watch the Hawkeye's drop a collective deuce on the 50-yard line...
ReplyDeleteAt the start of the 2nd quarter of the Ohio St-Mich St game, Bob Griese made reference to Brad Nessler's pink tie. Nessler says "Thank you, it's for breast awareness month."
ReplyDeleteActually, it's breast CANCER awareness month. I like to think EVERY month is breast awareness month.
Brad Nessler, after receiving a compliment on his pink tie...
ReplyDelete"Thanks partner, just celebrating breast awareness month..." (paraphrased)
Wow, I didn't know that Brad. I'll try to be as "breast aware" as possible this month.
It's not announcers, but someone needs to be fired for the Notre Dame uniforms. No way God allows them to win wearing those...
ReplyDeleteI agree Smitty, and I'm so pissed I wasn't watching the OSU/MSU game to get that comment on video. I'm thinking Mr. Nessler has the early edge in the voting.
ReplyDelete"Think about playing quarterback here at USC: Carson Palmer wins a Heisman, Matt Leinart wins a Heisman, John David Booty has played very well, and now Mark Sanchez. It's like going out as a runway model after Heidi Klum." - Pat Haden
ReplyDelete"There was a big hole -- Will Ferrell could have run through that hole." - Haden.
ReplyDeleteHe wants to get on the scoreboard badly.
"That [jump pass TD by Tebow] was like ordering an omelet for breakfast, it was so open." - Gary Danielson.
ReplyDeleteHuh?
I feel sorry for the girl that has to sit next to Maguire.
ReplyDeletePS. I love that they stuck him in the upper deck. Now if only they could take his microphone away...
"11 points is better than 12" -Gary Danielson (just give him the trophy now)
ReplyDeleteMaybe my comment was over the line, but I have had it with ESPN shoving aside game play for promoting.
ReplyDeleteI mean, that was just ridiculous.
YOU KEEP ON IGNORING PLAYS YOU MORONS!
Are they tryi9ng to condition us to think that if they interview a coach of a team that is in the Big East during an important big Ten game, that we will, in the future, take it as normal operating procedure that ESPN will maybe spend the entire game doing that?
How in the HELL can they think they can get away with that.
It wasn't even a goddamn BLOWOUT!
Hey Jay Rothstein, guess what my middle finger is doing right at this moment...
Bullshit...I am still pissed. I'm sure MNF will be different, concentration on gameplay, respect for the men who give their; bodies constitution on the field.
Oh, yeah, that's right, it's ESPN, they are nothing more than vampires.
CAUGHT!! TOUCHDOWN! - Verne Lundquist, after a kentucky receiver caught a touchdown pass with no time left in the game. Final score: Florida 45 Kentucky 37.
ReplyDeleteNo need for excitement Verne.
"You've got to kick the extra point right?" -Gary Danielson, after the meaningless TD and the coaches were on the field.
During the Ohio State Radio Broadcast of the MSU-OSU game, Ohio State sideline guy Marty Bannister:
ReplyDelete"Buckeyes almost double the Spartans in yardage, 348 to 112."
I can't believe I'm going to defend Gary Danielson on this, but, when he said that "11 pints is better than 12" it's worth noting it was refering to UK going for the kick rather than risk not converting on a 2pt conversion. So being down 11 (making pat) is better than 12 (failing 2pt) would actually make some sense. Although, then again, we are talking about Gary Danielson, so nothing really makes sense.
ReplyDeleteIs there anything worse for an announcer to say then, "Dufrene gives Mendenhall a blow" - Musburger
ReplyDelete"South Florida will be replaced in the 2-hole." Brent Musberger
ReplyDelete"The guys say he is so precious with the young boys." Holly Rowe
ReplyDeletei can't believe brent touched on the kimmel trip to mnf. brent asked if he and kirk would be allowed to appear on the kimmel show.
ReplyDelete"If he bobbles the ball at all, and it falls incomplete, it's over. You leave a timeout in your bag, the season — done." — Mike Patrick, in the final seconds of LSU's victory
ReplyDeleteIf the pass was incompelte, the clock would have stopped with :03 (or at fewest :02) left! This comment makes no sense!
"Coach, you called timeout. What happened next? —Holly Rowe, postgame interview
No, LSU didn't!
These final few seconds were completely botched by Patrick, Blackledge, and Rowe. My goodness.
Amazing only one comment on this debacle televised on the ABC network. It was a pathetic display.
ReplyDeleteThis one wasn't great, but it was the best one I could find this weekend:
ReplyDelete"If that would've been an completion, that would've been a really great throw-and-catch."-Jay Taylor
Yeah, and if Eastern Michigan didn't suck so bad, they would be good...
That's funny, anon, when Nessler and Greise joked that Maguire was out of the booth because they said they wanted him far away as possible, I'm not entirely sure they were kidding lol
ReplyDelete