Who: Broncos at Raiders
Where: McAfee Coliseum
Spread: Broncos -3 O/U 41
Announcers: Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic and Mike Ditka
10:22- Well they didn't waste anytime with the kickoff there did they? Give me a couple of seconds to catch up here. Broncos ball to start.
Why do I always feel like Mike Greenberg is trying to sell me something? Anyway, Eddie Royal with some touches early on and the Broncos seem in the swings early on with a coupl of first downs.
"Mike Shanahan's gone into the playbook again." - Mike Ditka (Via SS)
Groundbreaking! It also really bothers me that Greenberg always refers to Ditka after just about every play. You do have another guy in the booth and it's really not necessary to do it all the time.
MJD - Welcome to the Broncos/Raiders segment of the liveblog ... doing the play-by-play on ESPN is Mike Greenberg, who is like a more feminine Pam Ward. (From MJD's liveblog on Yahoo via Anon)
I don't care who you are....that's funny. Timeout on the field with the Broncos in Raider territory.
"He's a fine pass-receiver out of the backfield" - Greenberg
"Cutler goes short...." - Greenberg....on a 14 yard completion on first down.
(Via Anon)
Prepare yourself for a lot of that folks. Cutler incomplete on second down it will be third and six....
TOUCHDOWN! Cutler with the pass to Royal who gets his feet down and that's 7-0 Broncos.
I can't decide if Ditka's brain moves too fast for his mouth, or his mouth moves too fast for his brain. (Via Jay)
Mike Ditka is an abomination as an announcer. (Via PM)
I'm with you Jay. He knows what he's talking about but he can never get it out in time without it sounding like he's having a heart attack. Higgins pulls out a hell of a return and gets all the way to the Broncos' 35 yard line. Here's McFadden with a run and he runs over Nate Webster. Blam! Eight yards on the run.
Fargas with a couple of runs and he picks up the first down. Fargas gets another five or so on first down and the Raiders look surprisingly good.
"He's got a hole...here he comes!"- Mike Greenberg (Via Lammy)
Hilarious. Fargas again and he gets maybe a yard....third and short....Fargas flips and
"Is this our first disagreement coach?"- Mike Golic
"If there's an argument, I'm on Ditka's side."- Mike Greenberg
"I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong."- Mike Ditka
Fourth and short and the Raiders are going for it. First down! McFadden is nailed by a pair of Bronco LBs.
"Great cutback, but he cutback into all problems."- Mike Ditka
Huh? Anyway...3rd and Goal...
FUMBLE! Broncos Ball!!!
Mike Ditka chides the Raiders for abandoning the run and calls them crazy as they try to go to commercial. I'm pretty sure Ditka doesn't even know how being on TV works, hell...he probably doesn't know how an actual TV works.
If the Raiders D starts playing badly they should start throwing cookies and candybars at Jay Cutler. (Via Lammy)
Very wrong...but very funny.
Golic's commentary is priceless. I couldn't tell whether he was having an orgasm or a seizure when the Broncos recovered the ball just now. "Ohhhh...ohhhhhh...they got the ball...they got it...ohhhhhhh." (Via Kleinias)
Are they watching the same game that we are watching? Greenie/Golic, stick to your srupid talk show that nobody watches. (Via Anon)
This sounds too much like two dudes and a chick talking at a bar. "Ooh he got drilled!" "He got it" "Here he comes" (Via Anon)
10:47- Broncos on the move again. Aren't the Raiders supposed to have a great defense? Pittman gets another
"And Michael Pittman is wrapped up and the Raiders defense comes up with a big stop."- Mike Greenberg
"That's a huge stop!"- Mike Golic
As the ball is clearly spotted across the line and a measurement is going on. And....first down of course.
"And bear in mind that the yellow line isn't actually on the field. The referees don't see that."- Mike Greenberg
Thanks asshat and wow....the Broncos are going for it. Or just trying to get them to jump offsides. It's the latter. Broncos to punt now. Higgins again with a nice run but there's a flag for a block in the back. Bring it back.
Another whisky sour for Mr. Ditka, stat. (Via Anon)
10:57- ESPN comes back for one play and the first quarter ends. Right back to commercial...
7-0 Broncos after one.
McFadden with a nice play and he picks up a quick first down. McFadden now moves to QB and hands it off to Fargas who comes up a yard short from the first down. Arkansas Stylee! Very similar to Omaha Stylee but without the crappy music. Sorry it's late. 3rd and short....
Russell on the play fake! Wide open is Curry and he....oh....he drops it. He should of had that one and Lane Kiffin is pissed. It makes perfect sense when you're running over a team that you throw it on third and short.
"OOHHH....MAN!"- Mike Ditka after the drop (Via Jay)
Since Russell isn't allowed to throw, shouldn't the Raiders just go to the 2-Back/No QB formation 100%. (Via Anon)
Probably not a bad idea actually.
11:07- Now we've come to the part of the contest when neither team scores the rest of the game.....I say as Cutler throws it to Tony Scheffler for about 80 yards and down to the Raiders 4 yard line. Oh well...so much for that theory.
Here comes the part of the contest where the Broncos blow out the Raiders. Stu Scott, Emmitt and Steve Young are on ESPN2 right now if you're bored already. 1st and Goal....incomplete to Scheffler. Second and goal....Pittman goes nowhere. Third and long....incomplete.
Prater gets the FG and it's 10-0 Broncos
"When he rolls out, he goes to that side of the ride."- Mike Golic (Via BLS)
11:17- Russell is sacked after having what seemed like a full minute to throw the ball and still couldn't find anyone. 3rd and 12....and a false start penalty. Just give McFadden the ball the rest of the game. Another punt for the Raiders. Eddie Royal with a dangerous return but it works out. Broncos ball at their 32.
LOL they're already promoting next week's game. (Via Jay)
Do we have to talk about Cowboys Eagles in the 2ND QUARTER!!!??? (Via Anon)
I think they did that last year too. Like they have nothing else to talk about. Deangelo Hall with a late hit out of bounds....
"Stupid is, as stupid does."- Mike Ditka
Hahaha. What is going on with these three? Are they really this crazy or is this a dream??? Royal with yet another catch.
"Watch this route. Back out, NOW BACK OUT!"- Mike Ditka
I guess it isn't a dream. Hall with another late hit and it's first and goal. Pittman goes for about a yard and then....
He just walks into the endzone. Touchdown Broncos! 17-0. Here comes the blowout....4:21 left.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you this important public announcement: "I've never seen more fans wearing NFL paraphenalia. These are the best fans" We now return from this detour down Ditka Drive (Via Mark)
11:32- Russell with another overthrow but he follows it up with a first down over the middle to Schilens (who?!). Fargas gets into space and he picks up another quick first as well. Raiders ball at midfield....3 minutes to go.
Hahaha. They now try an end around and Higgins fumbles it. He runs around for a minute and then just walks out of bounds. This play calling is horrendous.
Standard response to a big play by Greeny or Golic: "Oh!" It's as if they forgot they were at a football game. (Via Jay)
Good call with that one. Or it could be surprise for every pass that Jamarcus Russell completes. Two minute warning....someone shoot me. Russell sacked on third and long....another Raiders punt. 1:44 to go.
Cutler to Royal again and he's up to 7 receptions and 99 yards. Good first game.
"You remember what happened when Eddie Pipp got hurt. A guy named Lou Gehrig took over."- Mike Ditka
Hahahahaha. Comment of the night. Cutler tries to get cute on a third down run and gets upended by Asomugha. Broncos punt and that'll probably do it for the half.
"Oh they were all moving."- Mike Greenberg
"Oh just end the half!"- Mike Golic
Amen.....thank god that's over. 17-0 Broncos. See you in a new thread shortly.
MJD - Welcome to the Broncos/Raiders segment of the liveblog ... doing the play-by-play on ESPN is Mike Greenberg, who is like a more feminine Pam Ward.
ReplyDeletefrom MJD's liveblog on Yahoo
AA, you just said there was a football game and then said the Oakland Raiders were playing.....please fix the error.
ReplyDelete"Mike Shanahan's gone into the playbook again." - Mike Ditka
ReplyDeleteWOW!
"He's a fine pass-receiver out of the backfield" - Greenberg
ReplyDeletealso...
"Cutler goes short...." - Greenberg. On a 14 yard completion on first down.
I think the reason Greeny doesn't work as a PBPer is his high-pitched voice. It's not something he can help, unfortunately. I think it's the same reason Bryant Gumbel wasn't any good for NFLN. They just don't sound right calling a football game.
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell happened to Dick Vermeil? Its like all other announcing options were out so espn decided to scrape the bottom of the "lousy" barrel.
ReplyDelete@Anon 10:29, what's wrong with saying Pittman's a good pass-receiver out of the backfield?? That's actually a very literal and accurate description. He didn't say "wide receiver", he said "pass receiver."
ReplyDeleteI can't decide if Ditka's brain moves too fast for his mouth, or his mouth moves too fast for his brain.
ReplyDeleteMike Ditka is an abomination as an announcer.
ReplyDeleteGreenberg sounds like the leprechaun from the Coors Light commercial.
ReplyDeletejay, i think it's the scotch moves too fast through his mouth for his brain to keep up with what then comes out his mouth.
ReplyDeleteI've determined that I don't like the new on-screen scoreboard either. Yes, we know we are watching MNF on ESPN, there is no need for that at the very bottom. Also, please keep the display consistent with down/distance, score, and over all time. It is annoying the way they keep taking some of the elements away.
ReplyDeleteNBC and CBS have the best scoreboards IMO.
Greenberg tried to sound excited about that touchdown pass and show some emotion in his voice, and he failed miserably. Something tells me you could kick him in the nuts as hard as you can and his boring voice pitch wouldn't change.
ReplyDeleteGreenberg: He's got a hole...here he comes!
ReplyDeleteThe Raiders do not look good.
ReplyDeleteMaybe McFadden can play defense, too.
"When you don't get touched, that means you've got excellent blocking". - Mike Golic.
ReplyDeleteStupendous analysis.
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ReplyDeleteJustin Griffith did not introduce the lineups Greeney.
ReplyDeleteWow, this announcing blows. They make Tirico look good. ESPN cross-promotion needs to be rethought.
ReplyDelete"They were 30th against the rush last year" - Mike Golic
ReplyDelete"And there are 32 teams". - Mike Greenberg
I would have sworn the NFL had 35 teams...
If the Raiders D starts playing badly they should start throwing cookies and candybars at Jay Cutler.
ReplyDeleteDitka's reaction to that 3rd down measurement was hilarious.
ReplyDeletelammy742, that's the comment of the night.
ReplyDeleteI think Ditka's cerebellum just fused.
ReplyDeleteOh Bill Leavy is the ref?
ReplyDeleteHe should know everything about the ball crossing the line.
Raider offense > Raider defense
ReplyDelete"That is a good looking athlete" -Golic
ReplyDeleteYep, that's Oakland....football.
ReplyDeleteGolic's commentary is priceless. I couldn't tell whether he was having an orgasm or a seizure when the Broncos recovered the ball just now. "Ohhhh...ohhhhhh...they got the ball...they got it...ohhhhhhh"
ReplyDeleteToo much coffee for Greenberg, he needs to take it down a notch
ReplyDeleteAre they watching the same game that we are watching? Greenie/Golic, stick to your srupid talk show that nobody watches.
ReplyDeleteWow, the horrible execution of that Raiders play was instantly topped by all three announcers trying to talk while the producer is trying to send it to commercial.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds too much like two dudes and a chick talking at a bar. "Ooh he got drilled!" "He got it" "Here he comes"
ReplyDeleteStick to radio, you are much better at that.
This commentary sounds like three stoned freshmen are doing the broadcast from their dorm room. Great job, ESPN.
ReplyDeleteThought I'd tune into the game in between innings of the Dodger game and it took me 2 plays to be completely annoyed by the broadcast crew. I won't be turning back, with all the people employed at the WWL, you'd think they could at least come up with two non-annoying ones to provide entertainment for a crappy matchup.
ReplyDeleteI WANT BRAD NESSLER NOW!
ReplyDeleteAA, do YOU know how a TV works?
ReplyDeleteWHAT? THE YELLOW LINE IS NOT ON THE FIELD? WOW!!
ReplyDeleteAfter listening to these clowns do the game, heck, I'd even take Dennis Miller back.
ReplyDeleteIt could be debated at times, Jay.
ReplyDeleteGolic talks over the official. Don't you learn not to do that, like, as soon as they tell you you're an announcer?
ReplyDeleteThis may be the worst broadcasting team ever.
ReplyDeleteHow about McDonalds making fun of metrosexuals?
ReplyDelete"I almost bought a beret the other day!"
Solid.
Another whisky sour for Mr. Ditka, stat.
ReplyDeleteAll three would benefit from have a vocal filter installed in their heads. Not everything you think needs to be verbalized. Give me Buck and Aikman.
ReplyDeleteIf Comedy Central got a hold of this crew, it could be a great show. They could do like a MST3K takeoff, where they show old football games, and Golic, Grennburg, and Ditka just shout random shit at the screen.
ReplyDeleteIT'S GOLD, JERRY! GOLD, I TELL YA!
"I was watching Johnson run down." - Mike Golic
ReplyDeleteDid Greenberg just say "Oh my" during that kickoff return? Thats not so bad except his voice made him sound like he was 83 and has a vagina.
ReplyDelete@anon, 10:54
ReplyDeleteIt's both, but in the future he could conceivably improve #1, but he will always have the same voice. For some reason it works on radio, but not for football PBP.
Mike Greenburg is man that looks like a lesbian.
ReplyDeleteGreenie certainly sucks at play by play... atleast he hasn't started to stutter yet. And he does not hace a strong enough voice for p by p.
ReplyDeleteI only watch their morning show for comic relief. It is so hilariously awful that my laughter wakes me up.
ReplyDeleteThis is horrible. You're telling me they couldn't use Simmons, Berry, and Schatz. (three every-day Joe's that watch the game like everyone else) Heck, they could have taken three fans from the ESPNZone who could have done a better job then these clowns.
ReplyDeleteYoung quarterback...spoonfed.... I think Greenie found his theme.
ReplyDeleteIs there an SAP audio available for this? I wouldn't understand a word, but it has to be superior to the Mike-menage
ReplyDeleteSince Russell isn't allowed to throw, shouldn't the Raiders just go to the 2-Back/No QB formation 100%.
ReplyDelete"OOOOOHHHHHHH MAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!" -Legend of the Booth
ReplyDelete"OOHHH..MAN!" -- Ditka
ReplyDeleteHe totally wanted to say "OH SHIT!"
Kiffin looks like a 9 year old throwing a hissy-fit after the dropped pass.
ReplyDeleteDitka is just yelling at random now.
ReplyDeleteIf the Raiders quit on the run one more time, Ditka is going to bleed from his eyes.
ReplyDeleteJust mute the TV or give it a shot at pbp yourself so that you can talk over Mike cubed.
ReplyDeleteGolic: "When he rolls out, he goes to that side of the ride."
ReplyDeleteGenius!
Where does Greenie get his quips? PBP for Dummies?
ReplyDeleteIts in my blood to dispise all things Dallas Cowboys, but my hatered of Romo knows no bounds!
ReplyDeleteHow about a booth of the Geico Gecko, The Skin-It Girl, and the Doctor from the orbitz commercials? They could probably do better PBP than this
ReplyDeleteGreenberg couldn't believe that the Raiders defense was so lax on Cutler's pass into the end zone. Maybe that's because everyone in the stadium except for Greenberg KNEW THE PLAY WAS COMING BACK.
ReplyDeleteIt could be worse, you could be living in Seattle and having Mike Patrick butcher the Oklahoma/UW game.
ReplyDeleteAnswer: Stu Scott, Emmitt and Steve Young
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Are there three men more annoying than the three Mikes?
Jay Cutler is good outside of the pocket by the way, in case these guys haven't told you 50 times already.
ReplyDeletePam Ward on pbp, with Emmitt Smith as analyst, and halftime math lessons weith Andre Ware.
ReplyDeleteThe main reason that this broadcast sucks is that all three commentators are living in the moment and sound like they have no grip on the perspective of professional athletes. Example: Scheffler isn't "going to be sick" about failing to haul in a tough catch on his back in the end zone. He's going to get back up to the line and play again. If the players were behaving like the commentators, we'd have a 30 minute therapy session after every dead ball.
ReplyDeleteSSR, I think I broke out in a cold sweat just reading that.
ReplyDeleteScheffler is actually thinking "ESPN has these clowns calling the game... wtf"
ReplyDelete@pm: Actually, the answer to your question would just be "yes."
ReplyDeleteI like ssreporters' booth.
What makes that doubly bad, kleinias, is that two of them played the game, one at a HOF level.
ReplyDeleteBetter yet!
ReplyDeleteEmmitt Smith on pbp with Tony as analyst!
LOL they're already promoting next week's game.
ReplyDeleteDo we have to talk about Cowboys Eagles in the 2ND QUARTER!!!???
ReplyDeletepm, that's why I'm so shocked...Golic and Ditka are just being totally silly.
ReplyDeleteWhen did Michael Pittman become a better choice at the goal line than Selvin Young?
ReplyDeleteBring Back McFadden at QB...My goodness
ReplyDeleteInteresting stat, but the Raiders haven't scored on Monday Night Football since 2005, and they've been on MNF every year since.
ReplyDeleteWatching this game it really feels as if Mike & Mike are broadcasting the game from Bristol. Whatever it is, it just doesn't feel like they are actually at the game.
ReplyDeleteEmmitt Smith on pbp would be the end of TV sports.
ReplyDeleteI wish Greenberg wouldn't treat us all as if we were 5 years old. Does the same thing on the radio too
ReplyDeleteAnyone else think that Jamarcus Russell will be a huge bust?
ReplyDeleteThey should tape up Ditka right now. Or just devote an entire segment to him on how to scratch an itching crotch.
ReplyDeleteI'm off to bedfordshire. Bad football + bad annoncing + empty scotch glass = bed time.
ReplyDeleteEmmitt: And the pass from DaMarcus Russell is throwed incom...inplete...complete intended for Indian Cur....Donald...Ronald Curry...no Donald Curry. It's 4th and 5..no wait it's 2nd and 6. Oh it's baaaaad.
ReplyDelete@Anon 11:20
ReplyDeleteIt's still way early, but it's not looking good so far for Ja-Russ.
Like our esteemed announcers pointed out, it is still essentially his rookie year. How'd that hold out work for ya? Plenty of time and money for hideous sweaters
ReplyDeleteStupid is as stupid does... Ditka has his moments
ReplyDeleteEddie Royal's looking like a nice fantasy surprise this year. (Already taken in my league, though)
ReplyDeleteGolic: Young kids, you catch the ball with your hands just like he did it.
ReplyDeleteYoung kids? Its like 11:30 at night. No kid is still up watching this garbage!
DeAngelo Hall should just leave the NFL.
ReplyDeleteI think ditka was refering to his broadcast partners.
ReplyDeletegreat photo @ top of page...nice grab of the 'nads by Ditka!!!
ReplyDeletecan greenie show atleast a little emotion on the TD call?
ReplyDelete@lammy742
ReplyDeleteWell, it IS Denver vs. Oakland, so it's only 8:30pm in California and 9:30pm in Colorado....
Greenie gets surprised by a run for a touchdown? He called the pin-ball AFL. He should be used to TDs being scored.
ReplyDeleteWe interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you this important public announcement: "I've never seen more fans wearing NFL paraphenalia. These are the best fans" We now return from this detour down Ditka Drive
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Greenberg will still defend blogs if the blogosphere is ripping him limb from limb.
ReplyDeleteGreenberg: The Raiders need to get something on the board before halftime.
ReplyDeleteREALLY?
I wish Erin Andrews was calling this game
ReplyDeleteThe Raiders, at some point, have to stop looking like a D-IAA school on offense.
ReplyDelete@Jay
ReplyDeleteoops, sorry about the east coast bias there.
Standard response to a big play by Greeny or Golic: "Oh!" It's as if they forgot they were at a football game.
ReplyDeleteAnd to think, the Raiders are going to do this 16 times.
ReplyDeleteThat play sums up the raiders game thus far
ReplyDelete"Raiders have to use a timeout as the play clock was going down on them..."
ReplyDelete-Mike Greenberg
Ditka again missed the commercial cue. Talks right over it.
ReplyDelete"2nd and forever" pls don't adlib, just give us the numbers. thx
ReplyDeleteIs this a football game or a 3 ring circus
ReplyDeletegreeny's intro to the game after commercial break feels like he's opening his radio show, god kill me now
ReplyDelete@ Anon
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't know the yardage. Better to say forever then just guess at the number!
They need to do booth cut ins during the commercial break like PTI. That'd make for better TV than the junk we're watching now.
ReplyDeleteIs Mike times 3 calling the game on a 5 second tape delay or something?
ReplyDeleteNote to Raiders, draft better linesmen next season... you've wasted enough picks on skill positions.
ReplyDeleteDitka: I'd like to think this could get better but I really don't see it right now...
ReplyDeleteOh, how right you are my friend
How did Dikta coach a team to the Super Bowl?
ReplyDeleteDitka again has a point that they are working on the two-minute drill. Another indictment of the idiocy of the preseason.
ReplyDeleteDitka is in his own world..talking over greeny time after time. I'm fully entertained :)
ReplyDeletePoor Mike Greenberg. "They could stop the clock if they want, couldn't they Coach? [Ditka mumbles something unimportant and unintelligible.] ... [Raiders have an incomplete pass.]
ReplyDeleteGreenberg: "So they stop the clock."
Ditka: You remember when Eddie Pipp got hurt, a guy named Lou Gehrig took over.
ReplyDeleteAnd then Ditka says they aren't punting it....deep in their own terriotiry with 32 seconds left... No wonder he isn't coaching.
ReplyDelete"When you give up, that's when you lose." - Ditka. Epic. Pitiful.
ReplyDeleteWow that was one of the worst halves of offense I've ever seen by the Raiders.
ReplyDeleteI like how espn's ticker is still saying Brady out for the season is "breaking news" yeah, like 8 hours ago it was breaking news.
ReplyDeleteSomeone alert Lane Kiffin that the preseason has ended.
ReplyDeletelammy, the reason that ESPN is still running the infinite loop Tom Brady injury alert is because 15% of ESPN's production team still isn't Very Sad About Tom Brady's Injury.
ReplyDeletenot surprised they start off with Favre/Jets highlights....the lovefest continues.
ReplyDeleteCassell's success will prove that Brady's success is the product of a great coach & system. Tom Brady is one overrated lucky bastard.
ReplyDelete"Are you ready for some football?" Yes, we're still waiting.
ReplyDeleteI want Erin Andrews on the sideline.
ReplyDeleteMike Ditka is just hilarious I think he's the best color because he's the only one who tells it like it is and has the background to do it.
ReplyDeleteI know it's considerably after the fact. But didn't one of those yokels say that young receivers should catch the ball with their hands? Gee .. and here I thought the face or the rear end were good ideas.
ReplyDeleteDiabetic smack is pretty gay. Cutler is an inspiration to millions who suffer from the disease.
ReplyDeleteI am crazy fan of sports. I love to Watch Monday Night Football Online with my father. I'm always be excited to watch its new one episode. I like Tony Kornheiser. He always play well. This became very interesting show when there is matchup between our favorite Teams.
ReplyDelete