The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Six

Saturday, October 04, 2008


Just like last week we're getting right into this thing starting at noon. I don't know what we're going to do without Pammy today, but if you have a quote be sure to add it to the comments!

College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Six

"This one time....at band camp."- Chris Fowler

"This is an old-fashioned Big Ten game where both teams like to ground it out on the ground"- Ray Bentley (Via Smitty)

"You know it's interesting.......Minnesota is in the redzone. This trip to the redzone is brought to you by Hotel.com."- Wayne Larrivee

That really IS interesting!

"Mitch King with some serious penetration. He's a beast."- Ray Bentley (Via MD)

"And the communicator, Steve Newman."- Ray Bently
"Newman!"- Clay Matvick with the worst impression ever

"When you first see him, you think 'wow, this guy's not even big enough to be small'". Some FSN pregame guy talking about Ok. St. QB Zac Robinson (Via James)

"That is not Michael Phelps there at left tackle." - Andre Ware (Via S2N)

"It's Auburn's obligation to hold the score down." - Lou Holtz, during OU-Baylor highlights (Via S2N)

"For Dave's purposes, I'd call it a two-club wind." Dave Baker on winds in Florida-Arkansas game. (Via Joe)

"Joey Elliot has that gunslinger mentality; he knows the offense." - Andre Ware

God save us, both announcing teams in these Big 10 games don't have a whole lot to talk about, and Ray is off his game without Pam around.

"Sheets has one man to beat!" - Dave Pasch, as Sheets breaks the tackle, but is hit and stopped by 3 Nittany Lions five yards later (thanks Ryan)

"It's perfect weather for a football game. I almost thought about going down there and putting on a helmet and some shoulder pads, but I didn't want to choose between the black uniforms and the white ones, so I decided to stay up here with you." - Andre Ware

"Watch Greenwood come in and fill this hole, and watch Ringer beat him in the hole." - Ray Bentley

(Giggles like a 12-year old.)

"Two years ago, Julian Edleman made this game for the Wagon Wheel his own personal playpen." Michael Reghi, on Kent State-Akron game (via Joe)

"They are going to play bully ball, right up in the wheelhouse." - Doc Walker on BC-NC State, and the next play, BC's QB goes around the line for a TD. (via JG)

Bonus from Wednesday's La Tech-Boise State tilt:

"That makes me happy." - Rod Gilmore, noting the alternating blue and orange in the Boise student section.
"So we have a happy Gilmore." - Joe Tessitore (via JG)

"My favorite formation; victory formation. You know you're putting a stamp on this game when you see that one." - Andre Ware, as Penn State takes knees.

"The double cheeseburger guys gave him time."
"He could have paid his taxes with that protection." - Doc Walker, after a 65yard TD pass by NC State (via JG)

"If [Kentucky] cannot make Alabama stand up and dribble with their left hand, they will not win this football game." - Gary Danielson, mixing metaphors and sports again

"And Iglesias takes it in for the score to make it 35-7." - Rece Davis
"And that makes the score before the Texas game 0-0." - Lou Holtz (via Anon)

"There is a lot of brass, stars and stripes here." - Anne Marie Johnson, at Navy/Air Force
"The opening kickoff goes out of the end zone at this altitude." - Tim Neveritt at the same game. (via JG)

Ah, glorious Versus production values.

"You know, John Parker Wilson, it's like a spelling bee. He's good with most of the words, but when it comes to spelling one with more than eight letters, it's a problem." - Gary Danielson on JPW's QB rating, and I have no clue what he was trying to get at.

"This is just a classic example of a guy hitting the hole quickly." - Paul Maguire (via Fairplay)

"I hope she's the one in the middle." - Gary Danielson, as the camera goes for a shot of JPW's mother, who is right in the MILF category.

"I remember when the world used to stop when these two played." - Tim Brando
"Amazing they can play in relative anonymity. No Wide Right III this year." - Lundquist, after an update on FSU / Miami (via JG)

"That punt hadn't even gotten to the 50 and Javier Arenas was waving fair catch." - Verne Lundquist
"Guess he reads Forbes magazine!" - Gary Danielson
"If you didn't know, Forbes named Nick Saban the most powerful coach in sports." - Verne
"Javier wrote the blurb for the issue." - Gary

"Ed is doing what we call cheating." - Ron Franklin after a booth shot showing Ed Cunningham looking in a media guide for the answer to the trivia question. (via JG, who just said his GamePlan paid for itself with that quote)

Ron Franklin is my personal leader for Quote of the Day so far, but it's a dead heat with Gary the Horndog's assessment of JPW's momma.

"We are at the Big House, which is under construction. Also under construction here is a great Big 10 match-up." - Dave Lamont (via Bazooka Jones)

"Only the second interception off the arm of John Parker Wilson this season." - Danielson (via Bazoooka Jones)

So, he's had another one bounce off his arm before he throws it?

I'm gonna relax a little before I've got some places to drive to tonight. Leave quotes for the night games and we'll scoop 'em up come Monday.

"They threw the flag because the punter tried to kick the ball off the ground."- Paul Maguire
"That couldn't have happened the ball never got through to the punter."- Bob Griese

"Once you get wet, you only get wet once."- Bob Griese
"There's the line of the day, tell Stacey Dales that!"- Brad Nessler

"You look at his arms and it makes you want to go to gym."- Mark Jones

"I hope she's the one in the middle." - Gary Danielson, as the camera goes for a shot of JPW's mother

I worked in the CBS truck in Tuscaloosa today... when Danielson uttered these words, about 4 or 5 people said, "What did he just say?" (Via Anon)

"He stopped on a dime and didnt leave the ducks any change"- Mark Jones

"Wisconsin has won 22 of their last 22 night games, including 11 in a row."- Todd Blackledge

"Wells up the middle inside the 30 to the 24. Which is fine to say, but not on a 1 yard run."- Mike Patrick

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:34 AM

60 Comments:

Bentley- "This is an old-fashioned Big Ten game where both teams like to ground it out on the ground"

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 4, 2008, 12:02:00 PM  

I love when Joe Paterno is in the booth.

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 12:17:00 PM  

"When you first see him, you think 'wow, this guy's not even big enough to be small'". Some FSN pregame guy talking about Ok. St. QB Zac Robinson

James said...
Oct 4, 2008, 12:19:00 PM  

Bentley- "Our replay official today is Ryan Newman. Newman (in Seinfeld voice) he he he"

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 4, 2008, 12:32:00 PM  

What was with the shots of random dudes doing gymnastics on the quad in the PUS-Purdue broadcast?

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 4, 2008, 1:02:00 PM  

"That is not Michael Phelps there at left tackle." - Andre Ware

(I wish I was paying enough attention for the context)

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 4, 2008, 1:10:00 PM  

"For Dave's purposes, I'd call it a two-club wind." Dave Baker on winds in Florida-Arkansas game.

Joe said...
Oct 4, 2008, 1:15:00 PM  

Dammit, we need the Daves on national TV. The Pammies would explode.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 4, 2008, 1:18:00 PM  

"It's Auburn's obligation to hold the score down." - Lou Holtz, during OU-Baylor highlights.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 4, 2008, 1:21:00 PM  

http://globalhawkeyenation.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 1:28:00 PM  

"Two years ago, Julian Edleman made this game for the Wagon Wheel his own personal playpen." Michael Reghi on Kent State-Akron game

Joe said...
Oct 4, 2008, 1:51:00 PM  

"Sheets has one man to beat!" Dave Pasch. Kory Sheets then breaks the tackle and 5 yards downfield, he is tackled by about 3 Penn State defenders

Ryan said...
Oct 4, 2008, 2:13:00 PM  

Doc Walker at BC / NCST, BC had the ball at NCST 5:

"They are going to play bully ball, right up in the wheelhouse."

The next play, BC QB goes around the end of the line for a TD.

From earlier this week:

"that makes me happy" - Rod Gilmore said he was happy about Boise fans alternating wearing blue and orange in each section.

"So we have a happy Gilmore." - Joe Tessitore's response.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 2:25:00 PM  

Actually, that Indiana game was announced by Wayne Larrivee, not Thom Brennaman.

Joe said...
Oct 4, 2008, 2:30:00 PM  

"This is an classic example of a non-running back trying to get a yard" - Doc Walker after BC QB is stopped on third and goal from the one.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 2:46:00 PM  

"The double cheeseburger guys gave him time."

"He could have paid his taxes with that protection."

Doc Walker after NC State QB throws 65 yd TD pass

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 2:54:00 PM  

Joe - I'll fix that in a bit.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 4, 2008, 2:56:00 PM  

BYE BYE FERENTZ, LOSER!

mike said...
Oct 4, 2008, 3:03:00 PM  

"Kansas has made plays in the 2nd half, Iowa State hasnt." - Dale Hellestrae stating the obvious, Kansas was down 20-0 at half, now leads 21-20 in 4th

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 3:10:00 PM  

" I wonder how many people in the parking lot are trying to back in."
- Doc Walker after NC state scores TD to tie game at 31 after trailing by 14. 3:30 left in 4th

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 3:21:00 PM  

Ron Thulin in KU-ISU game.."In case you were asking yourself how Florida is doing right now, lets go to the tape."

Actually, yes, I was wondering how Florida is doing while watching this Big XII matchup on Versus.

RockchalkJayhawk said...
Oct 4, 2008, 3:34:00 PM  

Rece Davis - "And Iglesias takes it in for the score to make it 35-7."
Lou Holtz - "And that makes the score before the Texas game 0-0."

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 3:35:00 PM  

"It is a lot worse being a parent in the stands than playing." - Hellestrae after Iowa St player doesnt catch pass and they show reaction of player's parent.

No I'm pretty sure getting run into and smacked around on the field is worse.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 3:58:00 PM  

"There is a lot of brass, stars and stripes here." - Anne Marie Johnson, at Navy - Air Force really , would have never thought that.

"The opening kickoff goes out of the endzone at this altitude." - Tim Neveritt at the same game, like a kick anywhere else wouldnt do that.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:13:00 PM  

JG - you're being very patriotic, but I'm not sure suffering through Navy/Air Force is right for anyone.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:14:00 PM  

S2N

I know but when two of your other choices are Lundquist / Danielson or Nessler/Griese/Maguire, it is pick your poison.

At least CBS could do a split screen focusing on Tracy Wolfson the whole game.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:22:00 PM  

"That spot was a left big toe/right big toe spot there."

Brad Muller- on South Carolina-Ole Miss game, spot on the field.

Joe said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:22:00 PM  

"One-Quarter of men are named Joe..." --Andre Ware reading a graphic which stated 1.4% of American males have the first name of 'Joe.'

Terrier2003 said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:24:00 PM  

"I remember when the world used to stop when these two played." - Tim Brando.

"amazing they can play in relative anonymity. No Wide Right III this year." - Lundquist the exchange after an update on FSU / Miami.

The black hole of ACC football pulling everyone down.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:30:00 PM  

"This is just a classic example of a guy hitting the hole quickly."

Paul McGuire

fairplay said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:31:00 PM  

Not a quote...but did I just see Stacy Dales smell under her arms?

FightingPike said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:34:00 PM  

That Danielson quote about JPW and spelling didnt he say four letter, not syllables ?

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:38:00 PM  

JG, I think it may have been eight-letter words.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:42:00 PM  

"Ed is doing what we call cheating." - Ron Franklin after a booth shot showing Ed Cunningham looking in a media guide for the answer to the trivia question.

My Game Plan just paid for itself, with being able to hear Ron Franklin.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 4:48:00 PM  

"Kansas is a possesion behind, to use a basketball term." - Cunningham, Kansas is currently trailing by 10.

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 5:00:00 PM  

Gary Danielson is golden. I think he must know that he is the defending Pammy champion because he works hard every Saturday on reclaiming the title.

Fairplay said...
Oct 4, 2008, 5:14:00 PM  

My previous post should say Kansas St, said the wrong one

jg said...
Oct 4, 2008, 5:15:00 PM  

"We are at the Big House, which is under construction. Also under construction here is a great Big 10 match-up." -Dave Lamont

That was just awful.

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 4, 2008, 5:30:00 PM  

"Only the second interception off the arm of John Parker Wilson this season." -Danielson

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 4, 2008, 5:41:00 PM  

Those Dr. J commercials that are running constantly the past couple of weeks, but I am a little confused about it. The marketing angle is to drink it slow "to taste all 23 flavors". But my question is how do you know there are really 23 flavors? What do they consider a "flavor"? Wouldn't these 23 "flavors" just mesh into one flavor? Can anybody explain this to me?

Just a random thought while watching football today.

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 6:19:00 PM  

"Good night" - David Norrie as Juice Williams runs to the end zone. Immediately thereafter, he is chased down.

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 6:42:00 PM  

I'm watching the FSU-Miami game, and the video and audio are about five seconds out of sync...great job, Disney.

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 6:52:00 PM  

The FSU/Miami game just saw a great exchange between Maguire and Griese that went something like this:

Paul: They threw the flag because the punter tried to kick the ball off the ground

Bob: That couldn't have happened the ball never got through to the punter

Paul: Just watch, that's what happened

I'm not doing this justice, Paul sounded like he wanted to do physical harm to Bob Griese.

Matt said...
Oct 4, 2008, 6:58:00 PM  

after the botched punt attempt by Fla. State with 9:03 left in the Fourth:

McGuire: Now it is a penalty, the ball was on the ground the punter kicked it, there's a flag back here...you cannot kick it off the ground

Griese: No he didn't

McGuire: Yes he did!

Griese: Okay...it didn't get past the three guys that were lined up!

after the penalty was assesed for illegal touching by the punter...

Nessler: This is a rare occurance, you're both right.

chris in tampa said...
Oct 4, 2008, 7:02:00 PM  

I might be the only UConn football fan in America, but they do have the nation's leading rusher in Donald Brown....so you would think that all through the first quarter Brock Huard wouldn't call him Donald BUTLER over on ESPN2....

Taliek Brown said...
Oct 4, 2008, 7:23:00 PM  

Just before the onside kick attempt at the end of the FSU-Miami game, as a monsoon was taking place:

Griese: I've been down here a long time, and this is one of those bands that come with those storms.

Nessler: This is a really big band, they've got 50 tubas in this band.

Griese: Once you get wet, you only get once.

Nessler (with McGuire chuckling): There's the line of the day, tell Stacey Dales that!

After the kick...

Dales: Yeah, you guys are having a whole lotta fun up there. Whole lotta fun for the boys tonight.

McGuire: That's a nice jacket you got on Stacey, is that a wind-breaker?

classic.

chris in tampa said...
Oct 4, 2008, 7:34:00 PM  

EDIT on the last post...

Griese: Once you get wet, you only get WET once.

Chris in Tampa said...
Oct 4, 2008, 7:36:00 PM  

EDIT on the last post...

Griese: Once you get wet, you only get WET once.

Chris in Tampa said...
Oct 4, 2008, 7:37:00 PM  

Mark Jones, "Buehler is like the Maytag repair man, you never see him, but he gets the job done." Talking about USC kicker David Buehler.

Joe in Long Beach said...
Oct 4, 2008, 8:38:00 PM  

Mark Jones, (talking about USC safety, Taylor Mays,) "You look at his arms and it makes you want to go to gym".

Joe From Long Beach said...
Oct 4, 2008, 9:34:00 PM  

"I hope she's the one in the middle." - Gary Danielson, as the camera goes for a shot of JPW's mother, who is right in the MILF category.

I worked in the CBS truck in Tuscaloosa today... when Danielson uttered these words, about 4 or 5 people said, "What did he just say?"

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 10:00:00 PM  

"He stopped on a dime and didnt leave the ducks any change"

-Mark Jones following 22 yard USC TD run

Anonymous said...
Oct 4, 2008, 10:43:00 PM  

Todd Blackledge at Bucks-Badgers

Wisconsin has won 22 of their last 22 night games, including 11 in a row.

hap14150 said...
Oct 4, 2008, 10:44:00 PM  

Mike Patrick on Buck drive-

Wells up the middle inside the 30 to the 24. Which is fine to say, but not on a 1 yard run.

hap14150 said...
Oct 4, 2008, 11:00:00 PM  

good God Mike Patrick was brutal tonight.

I don't have any quotes ready, there were WAYYY too many of them....

Jaclyn said...
Oct 4, 2008, 11:44:00 PM  

This may not be the exact wording, but the Nessler/Griese/Maguire trio had this exchange as Miami was coming back in the third quarter.

Griese: The crowd has been quiet all day and is finally starting to make some noise.
Nessler: Considering the pre-game party, maybe they just found their tickets.
Maguire: It sounds like you would know from experience.
Nessler: Nah, I just had to walk through it four hours before game time.

Anonymous said...
Oct 5, 2008, 1:02:00 AM  

Andre Ward talking about OSU, quoted as best possible from memory.

"Terrelle Pryor isn't just any true freshman, he's been in Columbus practicing with the team since January, learning the system and getting adjusted."

Pryor announced intent to go to OSU on March 19.

Anonymous said...
Oct 5, 2008, 2:30:00 AM  

"We'd like to welcome those of you that watched Penn State-Illinois" -Nessler, during the FSU/Miami game...apparently looking out for the comatose and raging alcoholics in the audience.

Chubs said...
Oct 5, 2008, 1:33:00 PM  

During FSU MIA game: "Quarterbacks, they dont like to throw wet balls"

Anonymous said...
Oct 6, 2008, 12:13:00 PM  

"wet balls" was bob griese

Anonymous said...
Oct 6, 2008, 12:15:00 PM  

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