Saturday, October 03, 2009

Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Five



I'll be around for a full day today, and I can't wait to spend it with Pammy and the rest of the gang. I'll be in and out during Gameday, but I'll see you at noon for a day of wonderment!

Week Five Announcing Schedule
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"If you hit your receivers, you put a lot of pressure on the defense."- Chris Spielman (via 49er)

"This has been a speddy drive for the Spartans."- Wayne Larrivee

"Arkansas State down fourteen to nothing to....uh....Iowa."- Pam Ward (You would think she would know it's Iowa that's playing since her and Ray cover the team almost every week)

"Maryland really struggling this season."- Pam Ward
"Your Turtles."- Ray Bentley
"Yeah, they're turtling up."- Pam Ward

"He's a tremendous foot athlete."- Chris Martin

"Under the Teflon sky of the MetroDome."- Clay Matvick (via Joe)

"Seven of the first 12 passes that Decker.........Weber has thrown has gone to Decker." - Bob Griese (Via 9er)

"He ran in there like Ray Charles. You got to look in the eyes and see where you're going."- Doc Walker

"That's a wet frisbee that dog is catching. He doesn't put it on the turf."- Chris Martin

"If you look up burst and suddenness in the dictionary, you'll find double nickle, Brandon Graham."- Chris Martin

"His running has literally killed Michigan on some of these drives"- Wayne Larrivee (via Mike)

"Are you starting to fear the turtle yet?"- Clay Matvick
"Oh I'm feeling it."- David Diaz-Infante

"For fat guys like me, the slab of bacon was a better trophy than the axe."- Bob Wischusen

"You dance with girl you brung ball."- Wayne Larrivee (Not sure that's the right phrase)

"Ride your horse. Clay's your horse. Ride him." - Chris Spielman (via SS)

"Bob Wischusen alongside Brian Griese and Chris Spielman." - Bob Wischusen
"Did you just call me Brian Griese?" - Bob Griese
(via SS)

"In the NFL when the quarterback is sacked inside two minutes, the clock stops; not in college, the clock keeps running."- Bob Griese (via Chuck)

"I did not have a decorated career. I've had rotator cuff surgery and I am probably over weight, but I could have completed that pass."- Gary Danielson
"If you consider yourself overweight, I do not want to know what you say about me."- Verne Lundquist
(via Mal)

110 comments:

  1. Who is replacing Charissa Thompson today?

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  2. Good question. I'll try to find out.

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  3. From Thursday night: "West Virginia is wearing their old old gold uniforms tonight."

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  4. "If you hit your receivers, you put a lot of pressure on the defense."-Spielman

    No way....

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  5. Bob Wischusen (Wisc-MN): "Scott Tolzien has been winging it for Wisconsin." (part of a sponsorship).

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  6. Danny Kanell (VT-Duke): "It looked like his knee touched the down (ground)."

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  7. Doc Walker: "Good call, you execute the play, you move the sticks." Duh.

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  8. "This is the best move Minnesota ever made; building an outdoor football stadium." - Bob Wischusen.

    They it's nice and great and all, but I can't wait to hear everyone in the end of November when it's 8 degrees and a blizzard.

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  9. "That is not the most low cal meal here in Minnesota, but it's my kind of buffet." - Bob Wischusen on some random restaurant they showed after a commercial break

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  10. How does Iowa get Arkansas State in Week Five???

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  11. "I think someone finally wants to get his hands on Paul Bunyan's axe." - Bob Wischsen

    What are the odds that Brad Nessler or someone else has a slip-up and call it Paul Bunyan's ass, again?

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  12. @ AA: I have another question: how on earth does that game then get on ESPN2???

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  13. I dunno. All of ESPN's early games today are pretty crappy.

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  15. looking forward to the gems you find today

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  16. "It might be George Washington." - Bob Wischusen after a trivia question asked who was president the 1st time Wisconsin met Minnesota.

    The answer is Benjamin Harrison.

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  17. Clay Matvick (Clemson-MD), talking about Vikings-Packers: "Under the Teflon sky of the MetroDome."

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  18. Brent Stover is the sideline reporter replacing Charissa Thompson.

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  19. "Over into the open field is Reggie Arnold." - Pam Ward making no sense.

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  20. "Seven of the first 12 passes that Decker.........Weber has thrown has gone to Decker." - Bob Griese

    Yes, it did take him that long to correct himself.

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  21. "He ran in there like Ray Charles. You got to look in the eyes and see where you're going." Doc Walker.

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  22. Appalachian State is losing 7-0 to the Citadel.

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  23. Pasch/Spielman/Griese is somehow worse than Nessler/Macguire/Griese.

    I cannot stand waking up to those three.

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  24. Citadel announcer: "Edwards taps his nameplate."

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  25. Steve Martin: "Virginia has gone to the rugby punt presentation."

    Doc Walker thought they were going for it while they were kicking.

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  26. "His running has literally killed Michigan on some of these drives"

    -Wayne Larrivee

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  27. Can someone wake me when there's an interesting game on?

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  28. AA: No kidding. The VaTech/Duke game could get interesting but I will have to mute it.

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  29. I opted for soccer instead.

    Sunderland were about to get their first win at Manchester United in forever and lost the lead at the last minute due to an own goal. 2-2 the final and a lot more interesting than this pile of crap for morning college football.

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  30. I was watching Soccer earlier, and Bolton looked pretty good, but of course they blew it.

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  31. "For fat guys like me, the slab of bacon was a better trophy than the axe."- Bob Wischusen

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  32. Syracuse is getting wiped out by South Florida. 34-13 now.

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  33. Wow that is Kurt Warner-esque.

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  34. Words cannot describe how bad the NCAA Football 10 game looks. They totally mailed in everything.

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  35. "When you have a QB that tosses it into the trash can for 50 yards." - Chris Spielman

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  36. Wow the Minnesota game just got exciting thanks to a fumble by Brown and a TD return.

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  37. "That was a typical, if not quintessential, run from Adam Robinson." -Ray Bentley
    Don't typical and quintessential mean the same thing?

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  38. "Ride your horse. Clay's your horse. Ride him." - Chris Spielman

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  39. "Paul Bunyan's everywhere today!" - Bob Wischusen on how both the Axe and the Trophy are up for grabs today.

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  40. "He'd rather lose his helmet then lose the ball." - Bob Griese who things that risking a serious injury is not as important as a game.

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  41. "You gotta be careful with the football!" - Bob Griese (AKA Captain Obvious)

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  42. Put your money on the Bucs!

    http://www.whatifsports.com/NFL/boxscore.asp?GameID=1696945&teamfee=-1&theme=-1

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  43. That was an obvious touchdown and only Wischusen saw it that way. Griese and Spielman are shockingly bad.

    Well Clay scored anyway. Game over.

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  44. Clemson-Maryland looks to have an exciting finish.

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  45. Iowa 24 Arkansas State 21


    Just disband the Big Ten now.

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  46. "you dance with the girl you brung to the....uh...ball...and that's Tate Forcier." - Wayne Larivee

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  47. WOOOOOOOO! Tate Forcier is my hero!!!!!!!

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  48. "Bob Wischusen alongside Brian Griese and Chris Spielman." - Bob Wischusen

    "Did you just call me Brian Griese?" - Bob Griese

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  49. I take back what I said about these games being boring.

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  50. Iowa survives THE Arkansas State 24-21.

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  51. In slight defense of Bob Wischusen, he has done a game or 2 with Brian Griese this year.

    Yes, Brian Griese is now an analyst for ESPN as well.

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  52. And I take back what I said about Forcier. Dammit!

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  53. Wisconsin retains Paul Bunyan's Axe.

    Another failure for Minnesota.

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  54. Bob Griese: "In the NFL when the quarterback is sacked inside two minutes, the clock stops; not in college, the clock keeps running"

    Bob Griese apparently doesn't know the rules of football.

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  55. What's with the leather chairs on ABC?

    (P.S.- FUCK FUCK FUCK!)

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  56. Ball State is going for 2 and the win against Toledo down 29-28. Wild.

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  57. Clemson going for the tie....WIDE RIGHT!!! Maryland survives two missed FGs.

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  58. STATUE OF LIBERTY PLAY FOR BALL STATE WORKS!!! AND THE 0-4 CARDINALS LEAD 30-29 AGAINST TOLEDO!!!

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  59. That play was f'ing awesome, SS! Whitlock is partying tonight!!!

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  60. Wow, Ball State got dicked.

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  61. TOUCHDOWN TOLEDO IMMEDIATELY!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!! IT IS 37-30!!! AMAZING FINISH!

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  62. Wait....what just happened?!?!?! How do you give up that TD Ball State??

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  63. That is a fumble Maryland should win it now.

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  64. Seriously SS....how do you let that happen? He was wiiiiide open.

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  65. Intercepted. Toledo wins. That sucks.

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  66. It was brutal. Jesus, prevent D, anyone?

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  67. That's just fate. You aren't supposed to win this season so that had to happen.

    Paulus threw 5 INT's for Syracuse.

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  68. Citadel announcer: "They're the team at the top of the mountain (Appalachian State)."

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  69. Per The506 (announcing schedule for both CBS and FOX are known now for the next 3 weeks) I'm stuck with Chris Myers on pbp for Cardinals/Seahawks.


    Can someone cry for me?



    Thom Brennaman will take over for Joe Buck as temporary #1 NFL announcer when he is on baseball playoffs duty. Yippee.

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  70. Following her pre-game interview with Les Miles, Verne says: "That's why we call her 'The Wolf'". Referring to Tracie Wolfson. One man's wolf is another man's fox, Verne.

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  71. @ SSR: BRENNAMAN??????

    Wow. I figured for sure that Fox would give it to Albert or Stockton, but I guess they don't want to break up Albert, Moose, and Goose, and maybe the people at Fox are finally starting to realize that Dick Stockton is senile.

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  72. Brennaman?!! Really?

    Isn't it normally Albert?

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  73. Gary D: "I did not have a decorated career. I've had rotator cuff surgery and I am probably over weight, but I could have completed that pass".

    Verne: "If you consider yourself overweight, I do not want to know what you say about me".

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  74. Supposedly (and I remember reading this on The506 but it could be WOM) Kenny Albert did not have good chemistry with Troy and thus whoever was #3 (last year Stockton) would be #1 for those 3-4 weeks.

    Brennaman is the #3 this year so he gets the nod.

    I just have to endure Charles Davis tomorrow as Seneca Wallace pulls off his 5-yard pass = Hail Mary routine.


    Oh give me a break Chris Polk fumbles the ball for Washington. Notre Dame ball.

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  75. You know what if you want the FOX spoilers since CBS' stuff is open to the public then go here.

    http://the506.com/yabb/YaBB.pl?num=1251382758/68#68

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  76. GET IN THERE LOCKER!!! HUSKIES STRIKE FIRST!

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  77. Oh yippee. I'm stuck with Rosen and Ryan for the next 2 Eagles games.

    Can someone please cry for me?

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  78. Myers/Davis could be the worst announcing duo in the history of sports.

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  79. This Huskies secondary blows. 2nd and 20 is a first down? Come on.

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  80. Gary Danielson just said all the Georgia students were probably "tootin" in the crowd. Ah Gary it's twittering, not tooting. But then again it is Georgia...

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  81. David Norrie: "Sacks him, right up into the breast plate."

    "This effort play could make a difference in Stanford's season."

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  82. From Wednesday night: "Tonight in Ruston, the Bulldogs are hoping to have a meaty start to their WAC schedule."

    "A little sugar for the misses'?"

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  83. Psycho T is horrible as a pitch man. They at least give the unintelligible Emmitt Smith a line to speak in the Just for Men commercial where his "beard is weird".

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  84. He either feels people at his feet or guys coming on his backside.
    --Gary Danielson

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  85. Gary: "He felt guys coming at his feet and his backside".

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  86. Danielson: "That's the definition of sick."

    While CBS shows a LSU player throwing up.

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  87. Stupid technical difficulties on the South Carolina-SC State game.

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  88. Supposedly, there is a power outage on the TV side of the press box. People are mad on the website.

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  89. The 360 came in and out, and there's 3:00 left in the half. It hasn't been on for more than 5 minutes.

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  90. Is Jonathan Crompton the worst QB in Division I?

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  91. Nessler: "Crompton is not the best 3rd down quarterback in college football". Also of note: water is wet.

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  92. From this afternoon's Toledo-Ball State game:

    Michael Reghi: You're looking at Brandon Crawford of Ball State, a 33-year-old veteran of the Vietnam War.

    Doug Chapman: Gulf War, you mean.

    Reghi: Wow, I'm really starting to date myself now.

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  93. Mark Jones: "They're getting fat on Jonathan Smith, eating him up."

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  94. Kevin Riley can make a case to knock off Crompton as worst QB in D-I.

    In other news Pac-10 refs suck.

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  95. Todd B: "Eric Berry is the leading tackler on defense and the leading tackler on special team".

    Brad: "Put him in on offens".

    Couldn't hurt...

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  96. @SSR - Crompton leads Div IA in INTs this season. Tonight he is 2 of 11 for 9 yards and a fumble. It's like watching any of the Cleveland Brown QBs.

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  97. Two down territory here, Brad?

    It's a 10 point game and a FG makes it a 7 point game. Do the math.

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  98. "They gave him just enough time to allow Johnson to get finished with his cut." - Kirk Herbstreit.

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  99. Does anybody knows who is playing Monday night?

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  100. Many entries from Dave Lapham on Fox Sports SW's broadcast of Baylor-Kent State.

    "They give them scholarships for a reason."

    "He is a shotput with legs."

    "He can change direction on a dime and leave nine cents."

    "They got behind their big boy pads and had a good time."

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  101. Brent Musberger just said California Angels when referring to some player.

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  102. "Here's Matt Winer." - Brent Musburger
    "Just finished in Tennessee..." - John Saunders

    Way to go, Brent. You made that mistake last year as well.

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  103. After the "Final Verdict" segment on College Football Tonight (or whatever it's called)

    Rece Davis: Did you just give him the finger?

    Lou Holtz (who's hand is in a cast): no I gave him half the peace sign.

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  104. From the Arkansas-Texas A&M game, Mark Jones, to Bob Davie, "Ronnie Wingo: Takes the 'o' off of WIngo and you've got WINGS!"

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  105. "He's got great arm talent." David Norrie

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  106. I'm waiting for someone to say, "He came to play" so I can scream at the TV, "As opposed to baking cookies?"
    As for this week's selections, Gary Danielson and Verne Lundquist are becoming the latest incarnation of Keith Jackson and (insert name of analyst here).

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  107. "Are you aware that last month the California Angels paid Locker $300,000 to play center field?"

    -Brent Musburger regarding Jake Locker during Miami-OU game

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