Comments on Awful Announcing: The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Seven

Two more like Pam Ward and I can have a free ride ...

2007-12-22T14:14:00.000-05:00

Two more like Pam Ward and I can have a free ride on the metro!

Pam Ward actually said "dangle your participle." A...

2007-10-14T11:31:00.000-04:00

Pam Ward actually said "dangle your participle." A little English major humor, I guess.

I noticed Knowles was at the Cincy/Louisville game...

2007-10-14T10:22:00.000-04:00

I noticed Knowles was at the Cincy/Louisville game, so if that was the one you were talking about, well, that would be her.

Hey, AA, I didn't find any over the last two weeks (and I'm somebody that watches college football from noon to 1:30 AM). Perhaps they've caught wind of the Pam Ward Chronicles?

I did notice that the guy doing the NW/Minnesota game said something like "I like the spin, where's Bill O'Reilly? Protecting the QB..." Maybe it's just me, but I really don't care about announcers' political views. I come to the Big 10 Network to watch a football game. Just like I would be reading an Ivan Maisel column to read about college football, not "Rovian" tactics.

As far as the ESPNU sideline reporter is concerned...

2007-10-14T01:55:00.000-04:00

As far as the ESPNU sideline reporter is concerned, I'm not sure which is the game in question, but UConn, Virginia, Louisville and Cincinnati all reported that Melissa Knowles would be on the sideline for their games, so chances are good that she was the one.

At the end of CFF, Rece Davis said, "Could it be t...

2007-10-14T01:48:00.000-04:00

At the end of CFF, Rece Davis said, "Could it be that some will vote South Florida #1?" To which Lou replied, "Halloween." I've officially decided I want to be Lou Holtz for Halloween now.

To clear up the confusion about where USF and Tamp...

2007-10-14T01:21:00.000-04:00

To clear up the confusion about where USF and Tampa is, Tampa is about 60 miles southwest of Orlando. USF is in Tampa, UCF is in Orlando, and UNF (they are the Ospreys, and they don't play football) is in Jacksonville, which is in the northeast corner of the state. Also, I usually try to keep up with the Pam Ward games every week, but I was at the UCF/USF game this week, so I missed it, but it seems that Pammy was still in rare form.

On College Football Final, Lou Holtz gave his top ...

2007-10-14T01:16:00.000-04:00

On College Football Final, Lou Holtz gave his top 5...
"#5 I've got South Florida, #4 Oklahoma, #3 Boston College, #2 Kansas, don't laugh, and #1 I've got Ohio State."

Erin is going to waste away to two large implants....

2007-10-13T22:23:00.000-04:00

Erin is going to waste away to two large implants.

I used to get a kick out of Mike when he was on SNF...Suzee would be doing her hardcore X's and O's by talking about a dog dying or something and it was pulling on heartstrings and drenched emotionally like hot fudge on a sundae...and she'd be going on and on, over plays on the field.

And Mike would NOT acknowledge any part of the story. "Thanks Suzy"

It cracked me up every time.

Mike Patrick is the best announcer ever. We just don't know it yet.

Next year could we rename this weekly segment. I w...

2007-10-13T21:59:00.001-04:00

Next year could we rename this weekly segment. I was thinking of "Mike Patrick Ponders".

And yes I was going with irony.

Ya know, Erin Andrews has a nice head of hair on h...

2007-10-13T21:59:00.000-04:00

Ya know, Erin Andrews has a nice head of hair on her, but to tell you the truth, she really ain't all that attractive. But thank goodness she's eating something. Those arms look like they're on loan from Auschwitz.

That makes sense...unlike Mike Patrick.

2007-10-13T21:49:00.000-04:00

That makes sense...unlike Mike Patrick.

Mike Patrick is, like, controversial, but yet, he'...

2007-10-13T20:52:00.000-04:00

Mike Patrick is, like, controversial, but yet, he's not, because what he says makes no sense.

That's a lesson, if you want to be controversial and take a stand, say it in a way that makes no sense.

Sort of how a politician or lawyer would say it, albeit one that's totally bonkers.

I think he had heart surgery last year or something.

I cut him slack cuz he's so out there like a raquetball bouncing around in an airplane going around the moon.

Make sense?

Mike Patrick following a promo for MNF featuring t...

2007-10-13T20:33:00.000-04:00

Mike Patrick following a promo for MNF featuring the Falcons during Auburn-Arkansas:

Mentioning the Atlanta Falcons gets my dander up because of Michael Vick. Congratulations to the state of Virginia for return separate indictments

First of all, mentioning Atlanta upsets him because it makes him think of Michael Vick? He obviously is incapable of separating the two.

Secondly, who congratulates a state for indicting someone?

Mike Patrick continues to go round the bend I think.

Who you gonna believe, Verne Lundquist or your lyi...

2007-10-13T19:21:00.000-04:00

Who you gonna believe, Verne Lundquist or your lying eyes? Called the barely wide left and long enough LSU game-winning field goal attempt "short".

I would like to welcome Erin Andrews to my lap.

2007-10-13T18:21:00.000-04:00

I would like to welcome Erin Andrews to my lap.

That you for that image of erin putting something ...

2007-10-13T18:10:00.000-04:00

That you for that image of erin putting something phallic into heropen mouth. I gotta go now.

did anybody talk about resting Josh Beckett or ARo...

2007-10-13T18:00:00.000-04:00

did anybody talk about resting Josh Beckett or ARod?

A day can't go by without a discussion about those two subjects.

22PITCH!

Also from ND game. "I'm not sure Manute Bol could ...

2007-10-13T17:14:00.000-04:00

Also from ND game. "I'm not sure Manute Bol could have got that one."

After a shotgun snap over Clausen's head (shocking, I know.)

On your rules pet peeve. In the BC-ND game, a BC ...

2007-10-13T17:11:00.000-04:00

On your rules pet peeve. In the BC-ND game, a BC player was tripped up, and the ball popped out when his arm and the ball hit the ground. One of the announcers was saying it was a fumble because his knee didn't touch the ground.
Doesn't everyone know the ground can't cause a fumble and that your elbow is the same as your knee when considering if someone is down?

Pat Haden: "You are in midseason form, Tom."Tom Ha...

2007-10-13T16:31:00.000-04:00

Pat Haden: "You are in midseason form, Tom."
Tom Hammond: "It IS midseason."
PH: "Oh, right."

Crucial moment in Minnesota/NW, 35-28, Minn kickin...

2007-10-13T15:24:00.000-04:00

Crucial moment in Minnesota/NW, 35-28, Minn kicking a FG to try and go up 10.

Jim Kelly: "And it's wide right...JUST LIKE TOMCZAK'S GOLF GAME!"

Pam Ward: "... if you don't want to bang with your...

2007-10-13T13:14:00.000-04:00

Pam Ward: "... if you don't want to bang with your participles..."

Why does Erin pull her hair back like that on top?...

2007-10-13T13:13:00.000-04:00

Why does Erin pull her hair back like that on top? Is that the "I got laid last night and this morning -- didn't have time to shower" look?

Anon - the reason USF is in Tampa (so I've heard) ...

2007-10-13T12:58:00.000-04:00

Anon - the reason USF is in Tampa (so I've heard) is because the state legislature back in the day did not want to put a public university near those darned Cuban immigrants in Miami.

Why is Hank Greenberg in the booth talking about horse racing during Georgia Tech-Miami?

Tampa is due east of Orlando?

2007-10-13T12:47:00.000-04:00

Tampa is due east of Orlando?