Even Seven Year Olds Can't Stand Kornheiser

There's not much going on today, and I've been running around getting stuff done, but I wanted to pass this funny story along from the Ithaca Journal. Writer Tim Mollen has a story about his 7-year old nephew's "friends list". The kid gives stars for when people are mean to him, and five stars knocks you off the list never to return. Well there's only been one person kicked off. Tony Kornheiser.

Most of all, I wanted to know what happened to the names that were removed from the Friends List. Did they get added to a separate “Enemies List?” Tommy confirmed that he did have such a list, awakening my fears of a Nixonian reincarnation in our family. But Tommy revealed that his Enemies List contains just one name: “Kornheiser.” Apparently, Tommy had heard his dad's hometown of Binghamton being disparaged by Tony Kornheiser, an ESPN personality. Kornheiser is an alumnus of Harper College, which is now Binghamton University, and he frequently mentions his alma mater's sports program in his columns and broadcasts. I know that even people who love their hometown or school can make an occasional jab at it in good fun, but such subtle distinctions are invisible in the worldview of a child.

“But what happens to the people who used to be on your Friends List, but have earned a five-star banishment?” Tommy replied that people can always improve, so he is thinking about creating a new “In Between List.” It seems this repository would house those who had transgressed but were not beyond eventual redemption.

Too funny. Obviously he doesn't despise him for the reasons we do (I don't really despise him), but it's a good reason none the less. Well good enough for a seven year old. Welcome to the club Tommy!

Nephew's ‘enemies list' exposed (Ithaca Journal)