Yesterday's Winners....
"CANDICE PARKER THROWS ONE DOWN, and in another news, A tree fell down in the woods yesterday"- Anon
"Who let Kobe watch Juwanna Mann again?!"- Zak
"Kobe demands a trade of Lamar Odom for Candace Parker"- Sweet Bob
"...Next week on Real Sports: We talk with Candace Parker about her momentous dunk, and the 23 fortunate souls in attendance who witnessed history firsthand. I'm Bryant Gumbel."- Mike T
_______________________________________
Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Coach K sharing a laugh with Melo and Wade yesterday?
Daily Links:
Will Leitch Talks The Future Of Deadspin (On The DL)
Gymnastics Falls Rule (With Leather)
Vandebilt's Shan Foster Sings About The NBA Draft (Sports VU)
So Why Does Garnett Bash His Head All The Time? (Le Basketbawl)
Ichiro In The Hall? (I'm Writing Sports)
That's A Hell Of A Shiner (Sox & Dawgs)
On Imus And Al Sharpton (NOIS)
Welcome To The Jewish Baseball Explosion (Rumors and Rants)
NBA Picks That Paid Off (Real Clear Sports)
So Is Golf A Sport Or What? (Suck at Sports)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"No but seriously Melo, just pull a U-Turn right before you get to the cops checkpoint, and no one will ever suspend you. Ask JJ."
ReplyDelete"You guys still have eligibility left, right? There's this great school in North Carolina I'd like to talk to you about..."
ReplyDeleteAfter this, Dwayne Wade had to change his T-Mobile Fave 5 again.
ReplyDeleteWould you guys mind if I replaced CP3 with the obviously more talented Greg Paulus?
ReplyDelete"You heard me right. Two inches. Redick's penis is two inches."
ReplyDeleteCoach K: When paying off refs, Melo, I prefer stacks of unmarked bills left in the refs locker room. How about you, Dwyane?
ReplyDeleteDwayne: Hey, right nut!
ReplyDeleteCoach K: Hey, left nut!
Both: Who's the dick in the middle!
Coach K: So Carmelo, how does your ass taste?
ReplyDeleteD Wade, sick of checking luggage, trys to convince his pals that 'houseboat' really is the *only* way to travel from game to game
ReplyDeleteCoach K: "Melo - D-Wade I am thinking of hiring Don Imus as our PR guy....any thoughts?"
ReplyDelete"Fellows, stop laughing, my back really hurts! Haven't you heard about the 'three returnees'?" -K
ReplyDeleteCoach K: "No, seriously, we're going to learn how to play defense on Team USA."
ReplyDelete(Duke fan here)
I just cut my first rap album of my inspirational speeches to make sure that my kids go out into the world with a good education and a great headstart on life, I think you fellows would like it a lot.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to day 1 of practice, fellas. Today we will practice sitting on the bench. You should get used to it.
ReplyDeleteCoach K: "OK, here's what we're gonna do. On offense, we'll stand around the perimeter and launch ill-advised threes, hoping they'll go in. On defense, we'll just use the time-honored technique of falling over backward when breathed upon. I'm not kidding, guys."
ReplyDeleteCoach K: Hey...whats that smell??
ReplyDeleteDWade: God, its awful, it smells like piss!
Melo: I am SO wasted right now.
Seriously coach, you look like a ferret stop makin that face
ReplyDeleteCoach K: Carmelo, remember when Dwyane needed a wheelchair for a shoulder injury? Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteIt's OK guys, you can admit it. I really do look like a rat.
ReplyDeleteCoach K again discussing the finer points of flopping "Paulus-Style"
ReplyDelete"Think about it, guys. I say the word, Vitale's here in five minutes. He won't even ask what your ass tastes like beforehand."
ReplyDeleteCoach K: I couldn't find Nubian slaves, but do you think these guys can carry me into the arena?
ReplyDelete...Melo, we said to get A TIE
ReplyDeleteMelo: /giggles
Just thinking about Coach K saying "Dwyane" and "Melo" makes me laugh.
ReplyDeleteCoach K: Guys, I'm not just preparing you for the Olympics...I'm preparing you for life.
ReplyDeleteMelo: This shit's gonna lead me to drink some more.
Coach K: Uh, Carmelo. When they said they wanted to talk to Wade and Boozer, I think they meant Carlos and not "the boozer."
ReplyDeleteCoach K: Which one of you fellows brings in "da noise" and which one brings in "da funk".
ReplyDeleteNo seriously guys, enough with the yo momma jokes
ReplyDeleteTonight on "The Wire" Herc and Carv go way undercover to bust a dope dealing olympic athlete.
ReplyDelete"Guys, what would you say to a little floor-slapping to boost morale?"
ReplyDelete"Whaddaya mean, mannn? I'm in great shape. WHA? My 40 time? Ah man I can down one in like a minute."
ReplyDelete-Melo