Ever since Deadspin unleashed holy hell on a Simmons article about a year ago, the Sports Guy's pieces have been without comment. Since then, only Rick Reilly has been added to the commentless ranks, while all other works on ESPN.com can be picked apart and debated. CBS Sports reporter, Cameron Martin, decided to ask ESPN why this is so, and ESPN Spokesman Paul Melvin had this to say....

Me: "Paul, I had a question about ESPN columnists that I was going to address in my CBS column on Monday: Why can't readers comment on Rick Reilly and Bill Simmons columns? And why is it only them? Is it to protect the idea that these two columnists are universally loved? Jemele Hill and DJ Gallo and Scoop Jackson and Gene W get hammered by some readers. Why isn't that same courtesy extended to Bill and Rick? Seems disingenuous. Thanks, Cameron Martin."

ESPN: "Cameron, Bill and Rick's accessibility to fans has always been part of their style, and they both have developed long-standing practices of engaging their fans. Bill has a history of using his interaction with his readers as part of his voice and has, through the years, developed a regular, robust 'mailbag' style column that is a favorite of readers. Rick's connection to the personal stories of people in all walks of life has helped give him his signature voice. With respect to those traditions, we've chosen to continue to present their interaction with readers through those avenues."

(As non-answers go, that's pretty good. Unfortunately I wasn't looking for a non-answer.)

Me: "Paul, thanks for the reply. Quick follow-up: In this new era of change, transparency and accountability, isn't it a bit antiquated and un-American to try to control feedback from the public? What if President Obama wanted to comment directly on one of Rick Reilly's stories? Shouldn't he be able to announce to the world, ‘Rick, you're an inspiration to millions everywhere'?"

ESPN: "Hi Cameron. Appreciate the follow up, but I think our earlier comment is all we're going to have to offer here. Paul Melvin."

Okay, well that was a pretty obscure response, wasn't it? To be fair, Simmons and Reilly get about ten times the criticism that other writers get, and I don't fault ESPN for not wanting to sift through, and delete, over 1,000 comments or so. It's still interesting that with the thick skin that both Reilly and Simmons probably have at this point, that they wouldn't just go ahead and unleash the hounds on their articles.

Oh and if you're a dog owner, and want to have a good cry, read Simmons latest article on the passing of his Golden Retriever.

Monday S.P.O.R.T.S. Cam: Bad breaks, worst football state wrapup (CBS Sports)

Everyone is always piling on T.O., including the ESPN Sunday Countdown crew. Both Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter have been critical of the wide receiver multiple times this season, which is why some of their comments came across a bit hypocritical this past weekend.

The set was discussing Anquan Boldin's recent run-in with a coach, and both Johnson and Carter were sticking up for the Arizona receiver. This isn't sitting well with the Dallas Media, who are calling both analysts hypocrites today. Via Barry Horn at the Dallas Morning News....

As we all know from watch ESPN's Sunday studio show this season, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter aren't very fond of Terrell Owens. The ex-WRs have picked, picked, picked on T.O. for everything from alligator arms to lizard leanings. They think T.O.'s sideline behavior has been lousy.

So it was surprising to hear Keyshawn kid-gloving Cardinals WR Anquan Boldin this morning after his sideline spat with former T.O. sparring partner Todd Haley.

"No. It's not that big of a deal," Keyshawn said. If it was, you could see players grabbing him ... I've been with Todd Haley and I've been around Todd Haley. He coached me with the Jets. He coached me in Dallas. In our meeting rooms (he) was the worst. You would like to be a fly on that wall. I don't how we could even be in the same room, I don't know how we can get along so well. But that's just a player and a coach out there competing. I work for TV, but I hate it because they try to turn it into more than it is. And, it's not that big of a deal."

Said Carter: "For one, a lot of times you don't know what the players are saying. But as players and coaches, we're a fraternity. Whatever we say on Sunday's or Monday's during the game it doesn't count. This is a competitive atmosphere. It's a result's oriented business ...When you have an athlete like him and he can't participate in the game, he's going to let the coach know that. And he has a right to know that because of the sacrifice he's made for his teammates."

Considering that the Carter-T.O. "Bullet incident" happened only a few short weeks ago, it's definitely surprising that he would be a Boldin apologist. Forget the fact that anytime Keyshawn says that someone is a "distraction", that it's extremely hypocritical. I know the media is trying to play up the whole fight between Anquan and Coach Haley, and ESPN was right in dismissing it over the weekend, but they should be more careful about who they do and don't defend on-air.

Do Keyshawn and Cris Carter have a double standard when it comes to T.O.? (Dallas Morning News)

Here is your announcing schedule for the NBA this week....

Monday, January 26th

Phoenix Suns at Washington Wizards (NBATV, 7pm)- Steve Buckhantz, Phil Chenier

Tuesday, January 27th

Fan Night Matchup: Charlotte Bobcats at LA Lakers (NBA TV, 10:30pm)-Joel Meyers, Stu Lantz

Wednesday, January 28th

Golden State At Dallas Mavericks (ESPN, 9pm)- Dan Shulman, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy

Thursday, January 29th

Cleveland Cavaliers at Orlando Magic (TNT, 8pm)- Marv Albert, Mike Fratello, Reggie Miller, David Aldridge
San Antonio Spurs at Phoenix Suns (TNT, 10:30pm)- Kevin Harlan, Doug Collins, Craig Sager

Friday, January 30th

Boston Celtics at Detroit Pistons (ESPN, 7pm)- Mike Breen, Mark Jackson
Golden State Warriors at New Orleans Hornets (ESPN, 9:30pm)- Dan Shulman, Hubie Brown

Saturday, January 31st

Dallas Mavericks at Miami Heat (NBA TV, 7:30pm)- Eric Reid, Tony Fiorentino

Sunday, February 1st

Cleveland Cavaliers at Detorit Pistons (ABC, 2:30pm)- Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo, you provide the caption, and then hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Last Thursday's Winners....


"The Lakers Bench is 100% Segregated: Players who Suck on the Left, Former and Future All Stars on the Right..."- Simon

"....So then Madsen starts dancing in front of everybody..."- B-rent

"Mihm: "I can get 42 this season."
Walton: "42 Minutes?""
- RJBO

Bynum: Hey, those two white dudes next to me are interested in purchasing some of your "ankle insurance."- Birdman
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Kurt Warner taking photos for the newest "Body By Milk" ad? (Expect a lot of SB Captions this week)


Daily Links:

Know Your Super Bowl Ref! (SS Reporters)
Hellooooo Carrie Stroup! (Fan IQ)
A Chicken Wing Shortage? Nooooooo! (Sports Rubbish)
Remembering Herm Edwards (Arrowhead Addict)
A Site That Collects Sports Radio Interviews From Around The Country (Sports Radio Interviews)
An Interview With 16-Year Old Podcaster, Alex Reimer (Sports Media Journal)
Super Bowl XLIII As A Movie (Mondesi's House)
A Goodbye Song To The NFL (Ryan Parker)
The Collins-Young Debate Rages On (LOCG)
Payton Thinks Bosh Should Be Starting Over KG (NESW Sports)
Fun With Sports Anagrams (More Hardball)

There are a lot of unfunny things that are said during broadcasts, but Digger Phelps might have just taken the cake this past weekend. During the College Basketball version of Gameday on Saturday, Rece Davis commented on a green carnation that Phelps was wearing in honor of the show being at Notre Dame University. Of course Digger couldn't just say that he was wearing it because he used to Coach in South Bend. No, he decided to make a joke that he robbed a corpse at a funeral earlier in the day....

"This has been thirty five years old, this....yeah. I stole it from a grave yesterday, it was a funeral, I went and got it."- Digger Phelps

Not funny. There are certainly worse things that can and have been said, but that comment just made me sick to my stomach. Good job by everyone else on the set moving on, and not coming up with any tacky "Grave Digger" followup attempts at humor.

Now if you want funny, you need go not go any further than ESPN.com's unintentional headline in regards to the same game....



Mmmmmmm.....Steak. Now that's funny!

(Thanks to DH for the screenshot)

If it wasn't for the ads, I would probably play music throughout my Super Bowl viewing party. It's not because the sounds of the game aren't appealing, but rather the fact that announcers and on-air personalities during the SB are just hype peddling, life changing story repeating, vessels of hot air. It's really not their fault either.

Having two weeks to plan for one game, and the job of filling a nine hour pregame show and live telecast, just gives a network all the more opportunity to shove stories down your throat. Last year it was the undefeated season, the year before that was "Can Peyton Win The Big One"/The first black coaches in the Super Bowl, and the year before that was Bettis winning in his hometown. Did you know that Jerome Bettis was from Detroit?

Slate writer, Charles P. Pierce, has figured out what your annoying plot lines for this year's Super Bowl are. Here's a little hint....you should probably just suck it up and root for the Steelers, because if the Cards go up, you'll be getting a lot of Kurt Warner AFL/God/Reinvented his career talk....

We're going to hear about how they magically transformed themselves at the end of the season. We're going to hear about the remarkable comeback of Kurt Warner. We're going to hear about how marvelous it is for the National Football League that a Super Bowl championship is within the grasp of a team so thickly dripping with obvious mediocrity that it's a wonder Charlie Sheen isn't playing left guard. We are going to hear all of this because the NFL and its broadcast partners operate on the very simple premise that everybody who reports—or follows—their sport on television is a paste-eating moron....

Bear in mind over the next week that this game will be cited as the "pivotal" moment in the Cardinals' miracle run to the Super Bowl. Ken Whisenhunt—who sat most of his offensive weapons in that game—and his staff will be the subject of gooey encomiums for cracking the whip after the loss to New England. There will be loose talk about professionalism, and about how pride was appealed to at a critical moment. And since snow is a long shot in Tampa, they might even win the game, and then there will be more of it. And it will all be nonsense. Not even Tim Tebow could save this team's soul.

Very well said. The worst part about the Super Bowl is that very thing. It's not that NBC, or any other network for that matter, shouldn't be talking about those things, it's just that you will already have heard all of those stories. You heard them all year, and by the time we get through Media week, and into the second half....you'll have heard them about forty times. We should all pray that the game stays close for a few quarters. Because if it's a blowout, that forty number could turn into eighty real quick.

Actually, I take that back. As long as their aren't forty shots of Brenda Warner in the stands, I'll take whatever ad nauseum stories you want to give me, NBC.

Razing Arizona (Slate)