Saturday, September 12, 2009

Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Two


Back again for week two. Great job in helping out last weekend, and I'll be around for most of the day to post the quotes as they happen. I'm still piling together the data from last weekend, but will post the winners underneath when I'm done.

Week Two Announcing Schedule
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"Todd Marijuanavich...er...Marivich."- Chris Fowler

"Georgia will kill South Carolina, by a Field Goal."- Lee Corso

"Drops it right over the pocket. If you had a pencil in your pocket, he puts it right in the pocket."- Doc Walker

"They love their classic rock in the Midwest."- Joel Myers (via 49er16)

"I noticed you moved closer to me." - Dave Pasch
"Yeah I moved closer to you. I'm fired up!" - Bob Griese
(via JFein)

"He gotta get his hands on that thing. He tried to catch it with his hands......with his pinkies together." - Ray Bentley (via JFein)

"You see the hole. You gotta get your rear end up in that hole."- Chris Spielman

"Balls are flying all over the place."- Dave Neal (via Joe)

"Clark took it right in the moustache." - Rece Davis (via SS)

"Special word: elusivity." - Pam Ward
"Is that a word" - Ray Bentley
"It is now." - Pam Ward
(via JFein)

"I need hair to gel."- Joel Myers (via 49er16)

"I gotta think that the USC Trojans are going to eat that one out."- Ray Bentley (via Bazooka)

"We've seen every part of the Dan LeFevour package." - Todd McShay (via JFein)

"You can go up in there with it two or three times, then you gotta pull it out." - Sonny Randle (via Bazooka)

"I don't know what I don't know."- Bob Griese

"If you're long, your never wrong, Bob."- Chris Spielman (TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!)

"Whatever the hell you call it...it's going to drive an offensive coordinator nuts." - Bob Griese on the Illegal Formation terminology used on penalties

"He used his body, his rear end, his friend." - Chris Spielman

"Al Toon, who had his football career cut short because of multiple concussions, hopes his son follows in his footsteps."- Dave Pasch

"You've got to get your eyes around and see what's coming in your face." - Todd Blackledge

"Maybe you and I should be calling this game."- Matt Millen

"I like smart quarterbacks. Especially smart quarterbacks with some athletic skills to go with it." - Mike Patrick

167 comments:

  1. Early one from Fowler on Gameday:

    "Todd Marijuanavich...er...Marivich."

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  2. "They might bring this back and put it on.....the one inch line." - Ray Bentley

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  3. "They love their classic rock in the Midwest."-Joel Myers

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  4. "I noticed you moved closer to me." - Dave Pasch
    "Yeah I moved closer to you. I'm fired up!" - Bob Griese

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  5. "That was a 30MPH pass right there."-Joel Myers

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  6. "He gotta get his hands on that thing. He tried to catch it with his hands......with his pinkies together." - Ray Bentley making no sense.

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  7. "The kid [Matt Barkley] doesn't even know where the library is yet and they're running him out there against Ohio State."-Dave Pasch

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  8. Not a Pammy really, but did anyone else notice the Premier League soccer host Georgie Bingham stumble her way through the college football promo?

    "Michigan.....aga...State....against Michigan Central."

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  10. Fowler had this gem Thursday Night:

    "This isnt Middle Tenn St." after Clemson's QB threw a pick into double coverage

    And nice to see the first Doc Walker quote of the year, someone beat me to it.

    And AA, when JMU beats my Twerps today I will be relly bitter. Time to unplug the fridge.

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  11. "It's not Mei-Mei?" - Ray Bentley
    "No, it's Ma-ma." - Pam Ward talking about the pronounciation of a Central Michigan player named Tommy Mama.

    Expect a whole set of gems to come from this one....

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  12. Andre Ware: "Troy has gotten a lot of hats to the football so far."

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  13. Every Rule In The Game is for the Offense Jason Sehorn.
    Spoken Like a True Corner Back Dave Ryan.

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  14. "Ones live one is phony."-Dave Laptham

    "Please, call it a decoy."-Joel Myers

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  15. We're stuck watching that Stanford/Wake game in SD on Fox, while the US Open is on CBS.

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  16. "Youre talking slobberknockin football folks this is it." Doc Walker after Stanford OL opens a huge hole for a 27 yd gain

    "Welcome back to the Swamp, where we have some swampy conditions" - Whoever is doing PxP on Troy - FL

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  17. "whoever gets in better buckle up. theyre hitting out there." - Doc Walker

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  18. The PSU chant of "Paulus Sucks!", is making my day.

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  19. Eric Gordon, he came immediately. He shot through the gap." - Ray Bentley

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  20. Penn St Fans are the most honest fans in college football.

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  21. I really wish I got the BTN, if for no other reason, just to hear that chant.....

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  22. " Our ACC crew will investigate whether or not that was a fumble". Dave Ryan huh Investigate is this Law and Order.

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  23. "just a little bit away from this violence, some peace and tranquility" - Steve Martin as the camera shot was of a Wake student studying outside the school's chapel

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  24. "You want to be a big time player in this league, you need to have your motor cranked 24/7. You cant be a spectator in the middle of field." - Doc Walker

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  25. "And Ware...was right there." - Ray Bentley

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  26. Dave Lapham- "Moeaki would have had to had been Shaqueille O'Neal to catch that football."

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  27. Lapham: "5-9 208, another physical specimen."

    Lapham: "He's a 208 pound guy with inate athletic ability."

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  28. Dave Ryan: calls Wallace Wade Stadium, Duke's stadium, "Wade Wallace Stadium."

    Also, Sehorn: "That's called beating you with your eyes (on the last TD catch by Duke)"

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  29. "A great acting job. That's Academy Award worthy."-Dave Lapham.

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  30. Ultimate Warrior thats what he calls the QB of Army WWE Reference Dave Ryan.

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  31. Dave Neal: "Balls are flying all over the place." "It has been a comedy of errors so far."

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  32. Not the Men of Troy Dave Ryan when talking about the Troy Florida game Dave Ryan.

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  33. " I would like to find the statistics on a ball hitting the goal post" Jason Sehorn.

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  34. "Clark took it right in the moustache." - Rece Davis

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  35. "Michigan's playing them tough." - Pam Ward forgetting that Michigan does not play until later today.

    And as I type that, Pammy and Ray-Ray give us another one.

    "Special word: elusivity." - Pam Ward
    "Is that a word" - Ray Bentley
    "It is now." - Pam Ward

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  36. Charissa Thompson, for the BTN in the PSU-Syracuse game, asks Joe Paterno how the team can get any consistency. JoePa's reply: "By being consistent."

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  37. "I need hair to gel."-Joel Myers

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  38. "I gotta think that the USC Trojans are going to eat that one out." -Ray Bentley on USC/OSU

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  39. I think Pam Ward and Ray Bentley are going to run away with the Pammies this year.

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  41. "There's muscular Sparty with the band, who are not so muscular." Pam Ware

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  42. Andre Ware: "Tim Tebow has three touchdowns during the first quarter."

    He had three touchdowns in the first half, not the first quarter.

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  43. Did anyone watch the Oprah special with EA saying she thought her career was over?

    Give me a break.

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  44. "We've seen every part of the Dan LeFevour package." - Todd McShay

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  45. Pretty small crowd at Wake Forest, maybe 25,000, if that at Groves Stadium.

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  46. "You can go up in there with it two or three times, then you gotta pull it out." - Wow, Sonny Randle. Just wow.

    "Tyrod Taylor, a very accomplished running back as well, out of that quarterback." -Sam Smith on literally the next phrase of the broadcast

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  47. "Ray streaks down field." - Pam Ward

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  48. Sonny Randle: "Oh, those strides he's (Ryan Williams) taking!"

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  49. "You can get them real ugly, or you can get them real cute, but that offense will do it for you." Doc Walker

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  50. "I don't know what I don't know." Bob Griese

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  51. "Just a bit outside." - Ray Bentley after a Central Michigan field goal ended up closer to the corner of the endzone than the uprights.

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  52. Sam Smith- "Marshall will go nowhere but one yard."

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  53. We need a stat pack for those push ups Dave Ryan after Army made a field goal.

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  54. "Everybody hanging out, getting ready for the fifth quarter of this game." - Dave Pasch as the game is set to start the 4th quarter.

    I think we have a winner!

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  55. Can we just eliminate the Big Ten from football?

    Make Penn State an independent.

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  56. The fifth quarter is the thing they do at Wisconsin after the game.

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  57. Oops, my bad. Completely disregard my Pasch "fifth quarter" comment.

    /Not familiar with after game Wisconsin traditions.

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  58. "You're long you're never wrong, Bob." - Chris Spielman

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  59. I was only pahing half attention, but did we just get a reprise of "if you're long, you're never wrong" from Spielman?

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  60. "If your long, your never wrong, Bob."-Spielman

    That's two weeks in a row. Maybe it will win this week.....

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  61. Michael Kay: "Thatta boy," after the catch A-Rod made in the Yankees game.

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  62. "And Wisconsin takes the lead back."-Dave Pasch

    Um, that's Wisconsin's first lead.

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  63. "Wisconsin leading for the first time." - Dave Pasch

    He got it right this time!

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  64. "He's not the best greatest runner in the world." - Bob Griese

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  65. "There aren't many plays for 3rd and 19." - Bob Griese

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  66. You eat now taste later" Sideline Reporter Greg Durso on Duke Army game.

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  67. "Everything won't be normal again in college football until Notre Dame is back, Michigan is back, and all the old powers are back on top." - Bob Griese who apparently is not a big fan of change.

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  68. ":10 on the shot clock"- Matt Rosen, in the Eastern Michigan-Northwestern game, as NW is tied with a minute to go with this lowly team.

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  69. "Remember that the clock does stop on first down." - Chris Spielman


    Ugh.

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  70. Matt Rosen: "Stefan Demos is a big-time player, now" (after his 50 yard FG, was shown on screen as a 34 yarder)

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  71. "Like a Bob Greise drive, right down the middle."-Spielman

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  72. " My DB complaining is about the consistency" Jason Sehorn.

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  73. Wow. Pam Ward was quite late on that touchdown call.

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  74. "Whatever the hell you call it...it's going to drive an offensive coordinator nuts." - Bob Griese on the Illegal Formation terminology used on penalties.

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  75. Incredible action right now. This is nuts.

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  76. "I have a huge chip on my shoulder." - Ray Bentley
    "Yeah, I noticed." - Pam Ward

    So not only is Bentley a C. Mich. alum, but he has a chip on his shoulder about being rejected by Michigan State? And ESPN assigns him to this game? Incredible.

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  77. Bentley probably has money on the game.

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  78. "He used his body, his rear end, his friend." - Chris Spielman

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  79. CENTRAL MICHIGAN LEADS WITH 3 SECONDS LEFT!!!!!!!!

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  80. IT'S OVER!!! CENTRAL MICHIGAN WINS!!!

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  81. The Big Ten Sucks against the MAC.

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  82. I'm surprised that Matt Millen is allowed back in the state of Michigan...

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  83. Millen is the devil in Michigan.

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  84. "Syracuse trying to do something to get a positive taste in their mouth." - Craig Coshun, Big Ten Network

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  85. There's more BYU fans than Tulane in New Orleans.

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  86. Missed FG by Notre Dame " Thats my tee shot" Sean McDounough.

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  87. Sonny Randle: "One time, Sam, I heard a guy talking about a player being strong: and they said he was as strong as train smoke."

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  88. Michigan just scored on that TD, big kickoff return.

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  89. Graphic error on ESPN they had the kick return as -6 yards how the hell do you have a kick return thats -6 yards.

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  90. "Al Toon, who had his football career cut short because of multiple concussions, hopes his son follows in his footsteps."
    Dave Pasch

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  91. "A little holdage." - Matt Millen

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  92. "He banged him out of bounds." - Sean McDonough

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  93. Washington up 21-6 on Idaho at halftime.

    I CAN SENSE AN ACTUAL WIN!

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  94. Houston is shocking Oklahoma St. 20-7

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  95. Error on my last comment 24-7 Houston at half.

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  96. "You've got to get your eyes around and see what's coming in your face." - Todd Blackledge

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  97. Poor fans on DirecTV missing Texas/Wyoming. You never know what might happen.

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  98. Brad Nessler: "There's some lucky dribbles" (after Tennessee fumble). "You couldn't do that in a hundred more tries."

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  99. One 14 was looking at another 14 and the snap came early - Brad Nessler

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  100. "The name on the back of the jersey says it all, Jahvid is simply the Best."- Jim Kozimor

    How Kozimor keeps getting jobs in NoCal is simply amazing. The Kings fired him from their pregame show, but he keeps getting other jobs.

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  101. Sean McDonough " Punt It Wide Left" how the hell do yout punt it?

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  102. Matt Millen (Calling ND/Mich) - "Maybe you and I should be calling this game."

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  103. "He's a football genius calling football."-Mike Pawlaski

    The CSN Bay Area announcers are the worst.

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  105. "Jailbait... Jailbreak screen" - David Norrie channeling his inner Rod Gilmore.

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  106. This Tom Glasgow guy on the UW game has the enthusiasm of a napkin. And he sounds like Kermit the Frog.

    42-16 Huskies.


    @ 49er16 we're apparently getting Brennaman/Billick for Seahawks/49ers.

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  107. "The Cougars losing in Stanford." - Tom Glasgow on WSU's HOME loss to Stanford. He corrected himself though.

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  108. Millen with a awkward quote " There is a Jock Strap on the Field".

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  109. BYU 54-3 Tulane needs to drop football NOW!

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  110. The announcer on Oklahoma State: "Both teams in Oklahoma having problems in the first couple of weeks." What about Tulsa?

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  111. "Forcier....under duress and banged down!" - Sean McDonough

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  112. TOUCHDOWN MICHIGAN!!!!!

    Wow the Big Ten has had a ton of close games and they are about to beat ND.

    Sean McDonough has been great.

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  113. On the South Carolina/Georgia game, they misspelled Eric Norwood's name on the Impact Players.

    They spelled his name Eric Nrwood. Try and find a screengrab of that.

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  114. Minnesota v. Air Force.

    Wayne Larrivee: "DeLeon Eskridge. His mother named him after the explorer, Ponce DeLeon."

    Chris Martin: "Well, he's exploring some holes right now."

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  115. Everytime I listen to a Sean McDonough called game, I like him more and more.

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  116. Give me USC in this game.

    I have no faith in the Buckeyes anymore.

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  117. Unless it's for 9/11 why are they airing the national anthem?

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  118. LOL JMU is beating Maryland 28-21.

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  119. "Stefan.....BANGING HIS WAY towards the end zone!" - Musberger

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  120. Touchdown USC after a Pryor INT.

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  121. @ SSR: If only he would have called his last name.......

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  122. "This was supposed to be a battle of 2 big-time defenses....somebody forgot to tell the offenses." - Mike Patrick

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  123. Wow Jacksonville State is 9-7 up on Florida State in the 4th quarter.

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  124. "For USC, the importance of running the ball and moving the chains is so important." - Kirk Herbstreit being redundant.

    And is it possible that Ohio State might actually not get blown out in this game? I have no idea who I want to win this game.

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  125. Speilman heading for the Rudy Martzke Memorial All-Cliche Team with his "If you're long, you're never long" line.

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  126. "They played their fannies off that night." - Brent Musburger

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  127. "We all know about Virginia Tech's special teams." - Mike Patrick after USC (the other one) fakes a punt, little early in the year for the cliche handbook.

    "Ohio St not rolling over in this one" - Wendi Nix updating USC-Suckeyes , apparently her WWL (alleged) is complete.

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  128. Mike Patrick just called a kickoff a pooch punt.

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  129. Previous post should say "WWL (alleged) brainwashing is complete

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  130. Maryland and JMU are tied at 35.

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  131. Tony McGee, on the new press box at Illinois:

    "they have their own bathroom here [in the TV booth]."

    And holy schnikes, Minnesota wearing those awfil urine colored unis.

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  132. "Steve Spurrier is frustrated because he wants to score six every time" - Blackledge

    "He wants to score ten" - Patrick, as USC tries a FG.

    And # 1 for Georgia, laat name is Smith he has great speed. He just got past most of the kick coverage and would have scored had he not fallen down, and he had another long run earlier.

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  133. "The Gamecocks have shown they are going after the strip at every opportunity." - Analyst of the Jacksonville St.-Florida St. game.

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  134. My mistake its Craig james w/ Patrick

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  135. "When Herschel (Walker) was here, you knew he was getting it 30 times a game, and you couldnt stop it. Sometimes the obvious play is the best play" - Mike Patrick after GA scores a TD.

    Amazing stat kick return yards :

    USC 3 returns for 60 yards
    GA 4 for 204 yards

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  136. Twerps are going to overtime with JMU.

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  137. The randomness That Is mike Patrick (TRTIMP) strikes again.

    BTW, what exactly is Britney doing with her life? ;-)

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  138. @ JC: She's renting out a double wide to a family member....

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  139. "Faryland avoids the upset." - JMU-MD PbP guy on ESPN360 as Ferrara hit a game-winning field goal in OT to give the Twerps the win.

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  140. Auburn leads Miss St 28-17, far cry from their 3-2 game last year.

    Dont know if I ever noticed this before, but in daylight, Boise State's uniforms really blend into turf.

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  141. @JFein

    Thankx for update, maybe if Twerps had lost, they would unplug the Fridge.

    / Bitter Twerps fan

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  142. "I like smart quarterbacks. Especially smart quarterbacks with some athletic skills to go with it." - Mike Patrick

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  143. "Without question, Michigan clearly is a Forcier to be reckoned with." - Rich Eisen on Twitter.

    Are tweets elligible for the Pammys as well?

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  144. "I don't think I have ever seen so many plays whistled dead 4 or 5 seconds in." - Mike Patrick

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  145. "Nobody ever pays attention to the deep snapper until he whiffs one." - Mike Patrick

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  146. Musburger is losing it.

    He was talking about the 1974 Rose Bowl between USC and Ohio State and said the Buckeyes passed for 12 yards (while they were showing clips of long passes), and Archie Griffin ran for 14 yards (actually, he had 149). And this was a 42-21 game. LMAO.

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  147. "Gillmore came in and just creamed him." - Mike Patrick

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  148. Speaking of THE BRENT, like 2 minutes ago he stated that after Barkley took a hard hit, a timeout was called "because word came down from the top that he could use a blow." Yes, he said "a blow". What, did he think he was going to do a line of coke right there on the sideline?

    Then, he plugged Monday Night Football and said, "Speaking of shoulders, Tom Brady's... is it ok?" Um Brent, I think you need to put down the scotch and not drink it during the game. I don't think it was his *shoulder* that caused him to miss basically all of last year.

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  149. "Cuff's gotta get better control of his body." - Craig James

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  150. "Mark Jones and Bob Davie are in the booth next to us giving you the 3-D experience. And now, welcome back to 2-D." - A plastered Brent Musburger.

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  151. "Matt Barkley driving for a possible Hollywood ending." - Brent Musburger

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  152. "Right before your very eyes, you are watching a freshman grow up in front of this record setting crowd." - Brent Musburger, who apparently has a man crush on Spencer Pratt, er, Matt Barkley.

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  153. "Matt Markley is going to go on to have a great career." - Kirk Herbstreit

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  155. "He stuck it in the hole."-Grant Napier, during the UC Davis-Montana game.

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  156. "These guys...they hit the books hard. They know why they are in college." - Petros Papadakis

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  157. "He did a good job of getting down before he took it on the chin." - Petros Papadakis

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  158. "There's a lot of stuff going on in the bottom of that pile." - Petros Papadakis
    "I don't think I want to know what's going on in the bottom of that pile." - Barry Tompkins
    "You don't." - Petros Papadakis

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  159. I agree Millen's quote should be included, and I'll list the full quote since it's on my DVR >_>

    "If you look real close, there's a jockstrap on the field, and it belongs to Darius Fleming."

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  160. "I think that upstairs they realized that Matt Barkley needed a blow."-Brent Musberger after USC called a timeout when Barkley appeared to hurt his throwing arm.

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  161. Hey, pfunk, for the record, Brent has been three sheets to the wind for a long time. Ask his friends Capt. Morgan and Jack Daniels.

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  162. This gem from Bob Davie on the USC-Ohio State 3D broadcast (talking about Ohio State's pass off option fake):

    "That's a Taylor Mays play. Not a tailor made play. A Taylor Mays play."

    Even in 3D Bob Davie still sucks. But the picture was pretty sweet.

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