We'll be live blogging all of the action here and at 12SD tonight. Here are your particulars....

Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos (ESPN, 8:30pm)- Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski, Jon Gruden
Line: PIT -3, O/U 41

Nuggets TV's, Scott Hastings, talked with Dan Patrick today, and the Denver analyst had some choice words for the Broncos' starting quarterback/trade bait, Jay Cutler. Hastings not only called Cutler an "arrogant little punk", but he also decided to throw out the term "little bitch". Here's the audio....

I guess reading that was much more shocking, compared to when you hear it in context, but the venom is still there. I feel bad for Cutler, especially since he does a lot of charity work in and around Denver, but he might want to try stepping up the trade demands just a bit.

Hastings: Cutler is an "arrogant little punk" and a "little bitch" (Dan Patrick)
Some Guy Does Not Like Jay Cutler (With Leather)

It's the Stoned Yokel vs. Marmalard in the Whale's Vagina for all the AFC West marbles, and I figure I'm safer and better off listening to this on the radio on the drive back to my little university town from L.A. rather than watch Al and John. "But you're a Broncos fan, aren't you, S2N?", you might ask, and that would be true. However, after watching this team give up two straight losses and utterly fail on defense, I remember how they lost out on a Wild Card spot two years ago thanks to losing in San Francisco in Week 17, and the last thing I think I want to do is see another similar collapse on TV after Mike Shanahan guaranteed a playoff spot before the season started.

That being said, have at it. I think the only thing I will miss is Rivers acting like a jerk by trash talking with a possible 8-8 record heading into the playoffs.

Why NBC wouldn't flex the Jets and the Dolphins in this spot, or even the Cowboys and Eagles, is beyond me. Buuuut, they must have reasoning behind their decision to make Denver and San Diego, the last game of the NFL Season. Al Michaels announced it on air last night, and I could almost feel America's collective groan through my television set.

It's definitely an important game, and could certainly turn out to be a barn burner, but it's definitely a questionable decision given all of the other choices. I think we know who to blame for this one too. This guy....


Yep, Brett Lorenzo Favre. If he doesn't lay an egg in Seattle, it's almost a lock that Miami-New York is next Sunday's game.

Update: Here are the rest of the Week Seventeen moves....

Dolphins at Jets (CBS, 4:15pm)
Jags at Ravens (CBS, 4:15pm)
Cowboys at Eagles (FOX, 4:15pm)

Did I ever tell you that Bill Belichick graduated from the same High School that I did? I did??? Well whatever then. Onto the boring second half....

Game over. (Via SS)

"The Patriots had 6 points in the first, 13 points in the second, giving them 20 points for the half" - Math Major Mike Tirico (Via JFein)

Berman just announced the highlight of Janikowski's game winning FG as: "Janikowski with a High Ball". Pretty cold considering See-Bass's drinking problems. (Via Mal)

10:18- Pats get the ball to start and Tony goes into his "article" of the game so far. Let's go with a lot of runs this quarter guys, okay?

Pats pick up a quick first down and are starting where they left off last half. 3rd and short....another first. Pats ball at midefield and a screen gets a few. Another third down.....sack.

"Another combo platter for Jamie Winborn and Elvis Dummervil."- Mike Tirico

BenJarvis Green Ellis? Did they make a hybrid version of Ben Watson, Jarvis Green, and Ellis Hobbs? (Via SS)

Royal escapes a few on the punt return but is eventually brought down at the 12. Cutler is back in and is welcomed back to the game with a sack. Welker with a nice return and it'll be the Pats' ball at the Broncos' 27. 1st down run loses two, 2nd run picks them back up and it'll be third and long....

Randy Moss on a screen.....TOUCHDOWN! This one is a blowout....

27-0.

Is the game still on? (Via NHZ)

Unfortunately.

"The Gillette Jump!" - Mike Tirico (Via SS)

Ugh.

10:36- The Pats are now dancing on the sidelines as the Broncos take over. Marshall with a couple of nice runs after the catch and the Broncos have it in NE territory....

Wait....Cutler is picked by Sanders. Pats ball.

Cassel to Moss for a first and there's a Bronco down. Pats ball at their own 30 and Cassel hits a wide open Welker and he traverses the sideline for a big gain.

Was that a guy dressed up as a Vikings fan? Man, those Bostonians must have really got drunk last night upon the Sawx losing....How else would you explain it? (Via JFein)

Hey, Shanahan! Put in Bubby Brister. (Via Mal)

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT TOM BRADY!! (Via Anon)

Broncos pick a ball off at the goal line, but the Pats are challenging, and it looks to be incomplete. Yep...overturned.

"You don't know where that flag from Belichick has been. If I'm the ref, I let him pick it back up"- Tony Kornheiser

Cassel to Welker....TOUCHODOWN....34-0 Pats. And here comes the patented running up of the score by Belichick.

Broncos are putting together another drive, but it's more than likely going to end in a turnover. Cutler down inside the redzone, but it'll be a third down....and that's finally the end of the third.

Hey, look at that....the Broncos actually scored. It's 34-7 now and I smell a comeback!

HA!! We have a diagnosis from Dr. Kornheiser. He's going to be out from awhile. I think from now on when I quote Tony I'm going to refer to him as Dr. Kornheiser... (Via JFein)

AA - do we get some sort of bonus endurance award for making it all the way through this turd of a game?(like the ribbon you get just for finishing all the laps in the race during Field Day in Elementary School). (Via Mal)

I wish I could print out some sort of certificate for you, but I'd have to print one out for myself too because this is dreadful.

"I mean, it's a longshot."- Jaws on a Broncos comeback

Thanks for that one, Ron. I'm not even sure who's ball it is at this point but there's still 12+ minutes to go. Oh it's the Pats' ball and they're still passing. I hope Matt Cassel's head gets taken off. Oooh....it almost did just then. Faulk finally runs and Kevin Faulk has a first down at the Broncos 40.

Everyone knows the reason Brady got injured is the old Tecmo Super Bowl Syndrome... you run up the score enough, the computer gets mad and your best player gets hurt. Just ask QB Eagles. (Via Anon)

"It was too smart for me, I couldn't follow it" - Dr. Kornheiser on the Intentional Safety play of a few years ago (Via JFein)

Patriots punt and we're under nine minutes! Jaws says that Cutler shouldn't be taking shots and potentially wasting his season, and I'm inclined to agree with him. Welker dances around and he gives the Pats the ball at the 50....6 minutes to go.

"You've got to have the onions..."- Mike Tirico channeling his inner-Raftery (Via Mal)

Green-Ellis with back to back runs and the Pats are finally running the clock out. Thank God! The Pats then throw on the next play of course. I can't portray just how much I hate this team. Faulk picks up another first down....

And then follows it up with a TD! Or not....they mark him short, but the next play should be six....

Green-Ellis....TOUCHDOWN! 41-7 Pats and I'm just hoping for a fight after the game at this point.

Mike Tirico says that Hockey is an 88-game season and that comment just about sums up the night. 2-minute warning. Bill Belichick looks very proud of himself and that'll be it for me tonight. Thanks for keeping me company and I'll see you with that Emmitt video in a few.

Final: Patriots 41 - Broncos 7

So I decided to go with the 2008 Raiderettes for the second half photo mainly because they're just about the only good thing this team is going for it at the moment. I guess it isn't over yet, but...what am I saying? It's over. If you bail on the live-blog, I don't blame you and a special thanks to those staying with me for the long haul. We'll have some fun this half.

I liked how espn's ticker was still saying Brady out for the season is "breaking news" yeah, like 8 hours ago it was breaking news. (Via Lammy)

I cracked up when they head a Brady "Breaking News" fantasy update. And now Ditka is smacking his gums on mic. Dear god.

"He asked me if I HAVE any answers."- Suzy Kolber on Lane Kiffin

Now that's funny. McFadden for a first down. A swing pass to Griffin and that's another first. Don't look now! The Raiders are looking good to start the half. Turnover in 3,2,1....

"You got to sue the offensive line for non-support"- Mike Ditka (Via K Bell)

Or another awesome comment from Ditka. 3rd down and long and the Mikes all say they should go for it on 4th down. Incomplete and the Raiders punt.

12:10- Michael Pittman is now getting the bulk of the carries and Mike Shanahan ruins yet another owner's fantasy team. Cutler to Eddie Royal again and he's wide open just about every play now.

"He's not going to stay with a guy that fast."- Mike Golic
"He looked like a traffic cop there."- Mike Ditka

Hahahaha what? In the meantime....

Cutler to Darrell Jackson....48 yards....Touchdown. 24-0

"Great play calling, I can't tell you anything else. Very hard."- Mike Ditka

Okay...I give up.

Dave, Dave & Dave >>> Mike, Mike & Mike (Via Anon)

Very much so. I'm giving up on the time stamps because I'm just too lazy at this point. Russell fumbles but recovers and somehow the Raiders still manage to get a personal foul penalty. I think it's safe to say that the Raiders' offense is much worse than the Skins. I'm not proud of that, but it's the little things, you know?

Ditka has to be drunk at this point right? I guess I would be too if I was calling this game.

"You try to say the glass is half full, but it's fallen off the counter and shattered."- Mike Golic

Clever. 6:30 left in the third.

" . . . have him deliver your wife a baby" was the comment coming back from the ad break around 12:18 ET with the video showing a scary guy with prongs on his shoulders and crazy face paint. Think it was Golic, but I'm not sure. Funny when they come back early from the break. The production on this late MNF game always is shoddy. (Via Hopped Up)

Damn I missed it. Ditka with more "Oh Boy"s during an eight yard Cutler run and this one is just a laugher on all ends at this point.

"It's not over but she's sure looking up her lungs."- Mike Ditka

What in the hell?

Broncos get a Field Goal somewhere along the way and it's now 27-0.

Nice shot of the Crypt Keeper hanging out in his luxury box. Now the conversation turns to the Raiders drafting abilities and while it's a boring discussion...anything is better than Favre talk at this point. Yes, even from this crew.

That's the end of the third....finally. One more to go....27-0 Denver.

"Can't make chicken salad out of chicken noodle" - Mike Ditka (Via JFein)

"That's a great run right there. That's a great two yard run. That's (amazingly bad stutter) a great run because there was nowhere to run."- Mike Ditka (Via NHZ)

I don't even think he got two yards on that play either. Jamarcus Russell puts a few throws together and don't look now....the Raiders are in the redzone! 4th down....

WHOOOOOOOOO! Touchdown Raiders!!! Russell to Lelie....27-7 Broncos and Mike Ditka starts humming some random song.

Who gave the Stooges the idea that psycho-analyzing every play makes for good television PBP? When Oakland makes a 4 yard completion with 2nd and Goal, you don't say "that's actually a good pass right there." Just say nothing. Talk about anything other than a meaningless 4 yard completion. (Via Kleinias)

Three "agains" from Golic is less than sixty seconds. The guy is priceless. (Via Anon)

"The kid Chris Johnson was drafted in the fourth round."- Mike Ditka

Or 24th overall and in the first round, but whatever. Right coach?

Touchdown Selvin Young and the Broncos.....34-7.

Stop sucking at your teeth Mike Ditka! I'm going to throw up all over these computer screen if you keep it up.

Make that 41-7 after another turnover on downs and a Pittman one-yard run. I think Mike Shanahan might be running up the score a tad.

What the hell is Ditka talking about with this pathetic broken record of "you never see it coming" when it comes to blow outs? (Via Anon)

I have no idea and I don't think anyone else does either. Russell again with an overthrow of a deep ball to a wide open receiver. Now this trio is talking about Brett Favre....kill me. 4 minutes to go. Fargas breaks one and he's just about the only Raider who's still trying.

2 Minute Warning....Thank God. Touchdown Raiders as Ronald Curry grabs one and Ditka proceeds to freak out.

"Touchdown Raiders!!!!!!! Raider Nation goes wild."- Mike Ditka

47-14 with 1:34 left. Broncos get the kickoff and start taking some knees. That'll do it for this travesty of a game and a trainwreck of an announcing team. If anything it was so bad that it was actually entertaining. So we have that going for us....which is nice.

47-14 Broncos is your final score and thank you very much for staying with me through this whole thing. See everyone tomorrow with reactions and videos.

Saints coach Sean Payton, Broncos O-coordinator Mike Heimerdinger, and the Rat Fink on the links, as we sit through the halftime report. I'm waiting for the Kobe-LeBron-Tirico interview.

...erm, yeah, that was as boring and anodyne as you can get.
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Broncos kick to Darren Sproles, part of it's coming back due to a hold on the Chargers. LDT rushes for a first down on the first carry of the 2nd half, after Tafoya talks about how both Rivers and Tomlinson won't be playing the entire second half despite being only up 16 points. Nine more for Tomlinson on the next carry. Michael Turner busts it for the first down.

TK: "You pronounce that name very nicely."
Jaws: "Manumaleuna?"
TK: "Yes."
Jaws: "I spend a lot of time around Tirico."

And Jaws is plugging the Arena Football already....and Tirico goes for the Bon Jovi gag with the Philadelphia Soul...oof, they're bored already. Antonio Gates hauls in a third down bomb against Dre Bly. Buster Davis hauls in another first down with a 17 yard catch. LDT gets two yards for another 100 yard game.

How the fuck did Vincent Jackson catch that? Rivers rolled out and looked like it was a throwaway, yet Jackson looked like he hauled it in. Shanahan's going to challenge it.

It's a catch, and LDT rushes for 5 on first and goal. Michael Turner gets to the one on the next carry, but it's a hold on the Chargers, so back it up. Rivers to Chambers over the middle, leaps into the end zone --- touchdown, Chargers! Kick is up and good, 23-0.

(Pours another screwdriver.) I told you it was going to be a long night.

P.S.- Is that photo from your personal collection S2N? - AA

Hah, no. The magic of Google Image Search....

Selvin Young gets eight yards during a discussion of the weak Bronco O-line. Marshall brings in a Cutler pass at midfield for a first down. I truly believe the lack of Tom Nalen at center to a torn biceps has really screwed over the O-line, badly.

Did anybody else catch Tony saying "I don't ask many football questions?" Way to confirm your ineffectiveness in the booth, Tony. - MattyCB8

I'd like people who get big-time positions being analysts to at least like their sport. I'm not sure Tony likes football much. Cutler to Marshall for 28 yards with a quick slant and plenty of yards after the catch. Cutler goes for Javon Walker, but Cromartie has position on him in the end zone and it's incomplete. Other corner of the end zone is incomplete to Marshall, who's double covered. Cutler to Schieffler --- off the hands and INTERCEPTED by Clinton Hart, and brought back out to the 15...mitigated by a personal foul on safety Eric Weddle, who took a late hit on Cutler after the pick. Bolts ball....sigh.

Billy Volek fumbles the snap right off the bat and Denver has it back...thank you, Chargers second-stringers. Travis Henry gets stood up. Cutler incomplete to Marshall, thanks to Quentin Jammer. Cutler to Martinez is incomplete, and here comes kicker and first-time author Jason Elam....his kick is up and good, 23-3, Chargers. Jason Elam, the only positive to the Broncos' season, and keeps Mike Shanahan from ever being shut out as a coach.

Sproles carries for two yards, and they're talking about auditioning for Billy Volek, due to the suck that exists at QB in the NFL. Volek to Jackson screen goes nowhere, and he bounces a 3rd and 7 in the dirt.

"If that's an audition, you hope he gets more chances to sing and dance, because he hasn't been that good that far. If this were American Idol, they'd say, 'Thank you, that's enough.'" - TK
"Boy, and you talk to me about Arena League..." - Jaws
"Hey, it's a show I watch." - TK
"You're still on Simon's payroll or something." - Tirico

Cutler to Marshall for a first down, misses Schieffler on the next play, and was lucky he didn't get picked. Selvin Young gets not much, but Cutler gets a first and more on his own legs. 3rd quarter over, one more to go. One pass in, and Cutler runs again for a bunch with flags on the play. Both plays on the Chargers, will add five yards for defensive holding on the end of that 30+ yard run. Ball at the 11 of SD. Young grabs two more yards. Another pass for five or six, and it's probably a 3rd down run. Fullback Cecil Sapp won't have the first -- and he's stuffed again on 4th and 1. Turnover on downs.

Chargers burn clock on a 3 and out. Here comes Scifres to punt. Cutler's incomplete again, and there's got to be only so much time before Ramsey comes in. Going for it on 4th, and it's knocked down by Luis Castillo ('Roider #2, to Merriman's Roider #1). We got some nice little jawing going on between Cutler and Rivers. This is the first interesting thing about this game for me, as Rivers started the whole talking ish.

More pissed-off behavior in garbage time. Frankly, no other part of this is really interesting, although I would like to remind Rivers to not talk shit, especially because Tomlinson has carried his ass this season when he's been mired in suck.

Hm. 2 minute warning. I'm just going to call it 23-3, Chargers, and wish you all a Merry Christmas. See you Sunday for Titans-Colts.

Hiya, S2N here. Now, I realize I may have made a mistake by live-blogging on Christmas Eve, but I'll be your host for Broncos-Chargers (family is overrated and I'm working this week anyway.) Is there any particular reason why Parcells is still appearing on ESPN air after inking his Miami contract? Oh, wait -- verbal fellatio from the crew celebrating him! Gotcha.

Really? Barron Hilton named the Chargers for freaking credit cards?!?! I probably could have looked this up on Wikipedia, but am still shocked (pun not intended.)

He is so damn slimy. I can't believe ESPN would even let him on the air. Such whores. - Anon

Got a point -- Parcells used ESPN to negotiate with both Atlanta and Miami through the media, it looks like, and to have him back in this way for a farewell tour reeks of, well, rotten fish.

Mortensen: "The Raiders are having a respectable season this year," commenting on Warren Sapp's blow-up. If you call 4-11 respectable....well....yeah, the Raiders would call that respectable lately.

S2N, don't you know ESPN is required to have at least 500 former Cowboys on the show? - Mookie

Seriously, we eagerly anticipate the day when T.O. becomes an ESPN analyst after he hangs 'em up. I'm just gonna throw that out there and use the royal "we" because I suspect AA would be just as down for this from a blogging standpoint as I would be. I want T.O. squaring off with Skip Bayless on First Take every morning.

Parcells: "Steve, I'm looking for a good, solid quarterback, and I hate lefties. You know anyone who could fit the bill?"
Young: "Someone who will just stand still in the pocket, like a statue?"

It's 4/1 odds that Tuna brings Drew Bledsoe out of retirement, I say.

Just in time....they'd fight to the death. Colleen Dominguez is very hot BTW. - AA

Agreed. Colleen, it'd be once a day, twice on Sundays, and any other time you'd like.

Keyshawn just made some sort of weird grunting noise while recapping the Cowboys-Bills highlights that made up his moment of the year so far. I think he was trying to imitate Berman on the Nick Folk FG and failed.

Shawne Merriman's wife, if you didn't know, is a hottie. Damn.
----------------------------

I don't think I've watched the MNF open with Hank Williams, Jr. all year. Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy to have Michele Tafoya and Suzy Kolber in tight T-shirts doing the groupie-like, "Hiiiiii, Hank!"

That is an incredible montage of NORV! Face.

"Hannah Montana, then kickoff!" - MT. OH GOD NO. Thankfully, that was short and did not involve an actual musical performance. Broncos will have the ball first, and we've got kickoff -- Glenn Martinez busts it back to the 40 and is tackled by kicker Nate Kaeding. Selvin Young gets 2 on the first play, then drags about five defenders with him for the next eight and a first down. Cutler airs it out to TE Tony Schieffler for a first down at the 21. Young grabs three more on the next carry.

I get to watch Selvin Young and think, "Damn, we wasted money on Travis Henry and got not much but babydaddy drama and drug test drama in return." Incomplete to Brandon Marshall, and it's 3rd and 7. Cutler scrambles....and HE FUMBLES....Bolts recover. Damn it, the fucker's channeling Jake Plummer early today.

Chargers D-lineman Shaun Phillips on the SD defensive line-up: "We're gunna hit them in the mouth, Ike Turner style."

Wow. Way too soon, dude. Phil Rivers tosses to Vincent Jackson for a first down.

Hannah Montana tickets are upwards of $1000......Can someone explain to me why? - Anon

I think you have to have kids to be able to explain it first, and even then it's still hard to do -- I have co-workers with kids who can't justify it, and they got tickets to the show. Tomlinson crosses to the 36 yard line on his first carry. LDT gets across midfield for 16 yards. Did I mention that my favorite team's rush defense is the worst in the league? Guhhhh. Rivers misses LDT on the swing pass, and Lynch pops Tomlinson on the next play -- gets flagged for a helmet to helmet unsportsmanlike. Oof.

First down and 15 more, Bolts, within the Broncos 30.

"This is the NFC West...." - um, no it's not, Jaws.

Buster Davis runs the reverse for a few on first down. Stopped up on second, and Dre Bly makes a nice open-field tackle on third down to deny LDT a first on the screen pass. Nate Kaeding for the FG -- and it's good. 3-0, Bolts, and only giving up three is definitely a moral victory early.

Whoa....did John Lynch get into Romanowski's steroid stash? - AA

+1 to you. Heartfelt tribute to passed-away audio tech, and SD comes to kick it off...Glenn Martinez drags people out to the 33.

Wondering just why you would run a reverse on 2nd and long, and an offensive personal foul makes it 2rd and super-long. Nice play call, Rat Fink. Young rushes to get a few of those back. Screen pass to Young, and here comes a punt from Paul Ernster, who hasn't punted since being replaced by Todd Sauerbrun, who just got cut last week -- and it's an 18 yard shank. It's gonna be a long night.

"I hear how great he is, because he's not on television that much." - TK. Tony, your job is to write about sports. Either cough up for Sunday Ticket, or, maybe, watch your network's highlights shows before you spout about how Tomlinson is an "unknown."

Anyway, the Bolts are near the red zone, and Rivers tosses a checkdown to LT for some more yardage inside the 20 ---and it's BOOM, motherfucker, for LT, as he rushes for 18 to the left for the TOUCHDOWN! Kick is up, good, and it's 10-0, Chargers.

Ouch.

Travis Henry gets a decent rush after the kickoff, and Clinton Hart then shames Henry's attempt at pass blocking in a sack of Cutler. Cutler hits Schieffler on 3rd and 16 for a 1st and the 45. He goes downfield for Brandon Marshall on 2nd down. Luis Castillo plows Cutler on 3rd down, and hopefully Ernster can get more than 20 yards on a punt this time. Ernster's punt pins the Bolts at their own 1 yard line.

Oof....tracking Santa gimmicks. False start on the Chargers, and they move back about six inches.

"Late at night at the bars, I'm looking for reindeer too." - TK. Tomlinson gets a yard on first down. Rivers airs it out towards Vincent Jackson and Champ Bailey almost comes down with it -- why you throw against Bailey, I'll never know. Even if he's playing on a shitty team, you pick on the other corner. LDT turns a 3rd and 9 into a first down because he's awesome and no one on the Broncos knows how to tackle.

"Wouldn't you think other guys would wear that kind of visor if they wanted to be like him?" - TK. Um, it's a medical thing, Tony -- Tomlinson gets a waiver to wear that dark visor in the NFL. C'mon, do some homework. Rivers hits Chambers on the lean against Bailey. Rivers to the fullback is an incomplete, and then throws incomplete to Antonio Gates.

Cutler is like Travis Henry....he can't stay off the grass!! - Mookie

I know what you're getting at, but in every photo he takes, Jay Cutler looks like the biggest stoner you know, craving food for a bad case of the munchies. I always expect him to break into the Jim Breuer food rant from Half Baked at any time. "We need pizzas, two giant bottles of water, pizza, and FUNYONS."

Rivers is brought down on 3rd down while trying to get out of the pocket. Mike Scifres punting to Glenn Martinez...who fair catches at the Broncos 12. Cutler sacked for a third time tonight, for the second time by Shaun Phillips, and it's 3rd and 13.

“The tackle made by Jeff Mallard out of Oregon.”- Mike Tirico
“Did you mention that Jeff Mallard was out of Oregon?”- Tony Kornheiser
“I did….he’s from Georgia. Thanks for catching that.”- Mike Tirico
“That was unresistible if he was from Oregon.”- Tony Kornheiser (thanks, AA)

"They've become a bad football team over the course of the year." - TK. Gee, thanks, Captain Obvious, after an incomplete on 3rd and long....and Ernster missed the fucking ball on the punt. Chargers take over in Bronco territory. LDT is rushing for yardage.

From the radio broadcast:

Marv Albert: "I bet somewhere Todd Sauerbrun is smiling."
Boomer Esiason: "I bet Todd Sauerbrun is in jail right now. Sauerbrun is a meathead." (hat tip to Rick James Bible Owner)

Tony: "I wonder what Jessica Simpson's thinking right now."
Mike: "I do not care."
Jaws: "I'm with Mike on this one."
Tony: "I'm not Jessica'd out yet."

Ow ow ow ow ow ow. LDT gets 15 as the entire right side of the field is vacated by the Broncos biting on the fake. 1st and goal at the Broncos 5. Tomlinson has no hole on 1st and goal, he gets a couple yards on 2nd and goal from the six. Rivers throws incomplete to Jackson, and here comes Kaeding....FG is good, 13-0, Chargers.

Chargers kick off to Andre Hall...knocked out at the 35. Cutler is starting to engage in Favre-style gunslinging, and that one almost got picked.

"If they were all a quarterback, they'd have a zero rating right now, or what we call 'Rex numbers.'" OK, Tony, points for you there. That was good. Young can't get much, and the 3rd down pass is incomplete as Antonio Cromartie knocks it away. Ernster punts it away (just barely.) Mighty Mite Darren Sproles gets the carry this time and five yards. Rivers throws to Sproles for a first down and here's the 2 minute warning.

Two stuffed rushes, and a huge throw from Rivers to Jackson with two defenders around him. 1st down around the Denver 26. Rivers overthrows Gates in the end zone. Nate Webster just mashed Darren Sproles on 2nd down with a vicious hit. Rivers to Chambers over the middle for a 1st down near the 10. Probably a "throw end zone once, then kick" situation. Incomplete to Gates, here comes Kaeding again. FG is up....and good. 16-0, Chargers, at the half.

See you in the next thread.

All good for the Broncos as we start the 4th quarter. Please, oh please, don't blow it, Shanny...

Big Ben avoided one heck of a pursuit and got it out to Parker for a pass on the flat, and then Parker followed it up with a 30+ yard rush, shaking off a couple of tacklers -- which is rare for this game, the Broncos have looked like a cohesive defensive unit without Bailey on the field, which is very, very weird.

4th and 1 for the Steelers at the Bronco 13, and Big Ben's got the lean, I think. Just barely, and the Steelers are pushing deep in the red zone and trying to get within a score here. Roethlisberger to Spaeth (back-up TE) for the score on the very next play, and after the kick, it's 28-21.

MATT! MATT SPAETH YOU CRAZY OLD COOTS.

Sorry for the outburst. I hadn't exhaled since we went for it on 4 and 1.

"We gave him a new nickname right there." - AM
"Tim Spaeth sounded so right." - JM

How the hell is he so wide open? My sister could have caught that...and she's a retard in a wheelchair. - dummy

I think the Broncos defenders were looking for Tim Spaeth too.

If they convert this 3rd down, I am going to completely lose it. - Peyton Loves Kenny

You and me both Kenny. Fortunately for the first time tonight, the Steelers stop the Broncos on 3 and 14.

If the Broncos keep letting Roethlisberger have all the time in the world to make first downs, I'm going to consider insanity. Wait, what happened to the flag on the play? Parker gets another first down on the next play. They were all totally moving on that play.

What the hell is Madden talking about - 'that's the ole left foot-right foot deal'??? What does that even mean? God I hate the guy, he offers about 2% useful insight/analysis during a game, the rest is complete drivel, peppered with Booms and Right Theres... - grissum

That's the Madden modus operandi.

Do the Steelers practice run blocking during the week? As a rookie coach, perhaps Tomlin has forgotten to include that on the agenda. Could someone at NBC zoom in on his Moleskine scheduler and check on that? - Tuffy

They really haven't had to before this game, have they? They've been running all over people. Two minute warning's here, and they're still moving.

TD Ben to Miller. Good to see the real Steelers showed up in the 4th quarter. Please, please, please, special teams, tell us you're back too.

Big Ben to Miller AGAIN. Someone put a body on the tight ends, please. 28-all. 3rd and 1 with two timeouts and 50 seconds left, as Denver drives to get at least an Elam field goal. That's the second offsides call on the Steelers this drive.

So, is this a catch, an incompletion, a fumble, or what?

It's a catch by Graham at the 31 and down by contact. They're in Elam's field goal range, but they'd like to get closer. Come on, and take a shot at the end zone.

Ugh. I hate that conservative calling -- is Tomlin gonna pull a Shanny and do the last second time-out?

Jason Elam. Dammit. I'm going to be pissed about this game all week. Good thing we were totally flat the first half, giving away this game.

ALL YOUR FIELD GOAL TRIES ARE BELONG TO ELAM. 31-28, Broncos, final score!!!!

We'd like to thank those of you who stuck with us throughout, and go enjoy the rest of the baseball (that is, if you're rooting for the Red Sox; doesn't look good for the Tribe.) Thanks to TSW for joining me. No SNF live-blog next week, as there won't be a Sunday night game. See you in two weeks.

Drop by Signal to Noise sometime, why don't you?

Ah, fitting that we start the third with Mr. Kicker about town, don't you think? I'm in absolute shock at having a lead right now, and am convinced that Shanny will find some way to blow it. Glenn Martinez takes a knee for the touchback.

And two or three plays in, Jay matches Ben pick for pick with one over the middle, telegraphing his pass.

I missed the halftime show due to the SoCal local coverage of the wildfires. Who did Keith name as the Worst Person of the Week?

Larry Foote INT. Parker's runs are going nowhere.

I didn't watch the halftime show by choice. Roethlisberger's runs apparently do go somewhere, though, but safety Nick Ferguson just gave Parker a face plant.

Roethlisberger takes advantage and hits Holmes in the end zone. Reed's kick is good, 21-14, Broncos.

TD Holmes. Watching the replay, I expected a Broncos challenge that he did not have control of the ball just because it feels like nothing is breaking our way this game.

Jesus, kids! Between S2N, TSW, and the commenters, we've got more martyrs than persecutors! Doesn't anyone have a lick of confidence in anyone wearing their team colors tonight? - Tuffy

Dummy says it best: Not much, tuffy...Cutler always scares the hell out of me and out defense sucks shit.

I'm enjoying this, but I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Selvin Young picks up a 3rd and 14 for a first down on a dumpoff, and I'm still holding on to this guy for when Travis Henry is eventually suspended and I need a fantasy replacement.

Jesus, Lamar Woodley just punished Cutler and made him fumble...at least Marshall fell on it.

The Steelers D has let the Broncos convert on 3 and 14 twice now. Time's running out in the third.

And Cutler gets it to Schieffler for six more after hurling a screen pass to Marshall that got about 20, kick is good. 28-14, Broncos. End of the third. One more thread, coming up!

Jay Cutler had to be a stoner in college. No, John, I don't want to know what Barrel Man is wearing underneath. And Cutler pulls a Jake the Snake, throwing an INT in the end zone to start the 2nd quarter.

Did you notice that Barrel Man had a sticked on his barrel that said, "Farewell Tour 2007-2008"? Where the hell does he need to go? Niagara Falls?

Ben continues to scare the crap out of Steeler fans everywhere by heaving the ball when the pressure is on.

Pitt blows the opportunity and a good long run by Willie Parker, winding up punting when Ben overthrows Hines Ward on third down after getting crazy protection at midfield. The Broncos don't fare any better and they punt it right back to the Steelers, who have it back at their own 32.

Yep, it figures. As soon as Al and John talk up the youth on the Broncos D-line and how well they're playing, Ben throws it for a first down to Santonio Holmes on 3rd and 14. Tomlin is challenging the ruling that the next pass to Ward was incomplete. (Bump music: R.E.M.'s "Orange Crush".)

I really don't think a big enough deal is made out of the fact that Dick LeBeau is 70 years old. He hollers at Troy with the energy of a 55 year old.

Tomlin challenges the ruling of an incomplete pass to Ward, who looks great in his first game back.

And that's another Roethlisberger pick, as D.J. Williams takes the tipped pass. That's really on the receiver, too. He got his hands on it. "The mind of Uri Geller and the mastery of Criss Angel"? Pass, please, on Phenomenon.

Cutler scampers for 31 yards and gets 15 more when Troy Polamalu hits him helmet-to-helmet. That'll get him another chewing out from LeBeau, I think.

Was Jay Cutler just running free in the Steelers secondary, yelling "SMEAR ME! SMEAR ME!," and no Steeler was armed with his cootie spray? - Tuffy

On 3rd and goal, Cutler goes for the play fake and tosses it to Cecil Sapp for the touchdown. 14-7, Broncos, after the extra point.

Steelers have yet to put any real pressure on the Cutler. At what point to we get to blame the bad play on the cold?

You don't get to blame anything on the cold. Football Rule: no cold-weather team can blame its sucking on the cold on the road.

Roethlisberger is sacked by Elvis Dumervil, and Tim Crowder TAKES IT TO THE HOUSE! 21-7 on Elam's extra point.

Did Madden just say that the Broncos are rallying around the fact they are being over-shadowed by the Rockies?

Ben's sacked again. God let's score before the half. Anything that shows that the team as been awake since the opening drive.

When did the Broncos turn into last year's Baltimore Ravens? I think that's four times that Ben's been sacked so far as we hit the two-minute warning.

Dear Steelers,

This is 2007, not 2006. So, wake the fuck up. - peytonloveskenny

That's probably a clean version of the sentiment right now. Dumb penalties on the Steelers right now -- including that last holding penalty as Ben avoids another sack, which keeps them out of field goal range with eight seconds left on the clock.

Madden just compared Dumervil to Mike Tyson due to his size and impact after yet another sack on Ben. I know he didn't mean it that way, but comparing anyone non-boxing to Mike Tyson doesn't really work. Jeff Reed is trying a 65-yard field goal, and of course it's short. Dre Bly runs it out of bounds after thinking of pulling a Devin Hester and running it back for a touchdown.

Tomlin, please replace the entire OL at the half. KTHX BI.

Jeff Reed just misses NFL history and 65 yard field goal attempt. That could get a kicker a lot of drunken chicks throwing themselves at him. Or at least, more than usual.

21-7, Broncos at the half. Everyone check out the baseball game, and we'll be back.

You gotta start it with a photo of Big Ben drunk. If I've got to deal with the Broncos likely getting beat up by one of the best teams in the AFC, then I need to at least have some fun with this. Oh, just for reference: TSW is in bold, I'm in regular text.

How does it snow sideways in Denver, Al? Eventually all of it falls to the ground.

TheStarterWife - Always the drunken photo. Why is it never a picture of Ben being totally cute?


See? Much better.

I don't do cute. I do embarrassing, although sometimes it's much more difficult to find embarrassing. Roethislisberger makes it easy. This whole "Champ Bailey being out" stuff just makes it worse. Now the Steelers will be able to throw on the Broncos, too....

Broncos will kick off to Allen Rossum, and it goes out of bounds. Steelers will start at their own 40. Is there anything more vile in the uniform world than solid color home unis? God-awful, Denver. Ben gets a throwgasm out of the way early, going 40 yards to Nate Washington on 3rd and 7.

I would like to thank Heath Miller for making sure I can relax and watch the baseball game for at least the next minute or two with that TD. And for what Madden calls the, "block, block, block, block."

Cutler hurls it over the middle to Tony Schieffler, the backup TE, as I prepare myself of an evening of Jake the Snake-like behavior down the road. Next one goes to Stokley, starting for an injured Javon Walker. The Broncos are going down the field about as quick as the Steelers did. We may have a shootout on our hands if this is how it's going to go.

"[Travis] Henry is one of those guys who has moves on moves in the hole." - JM

I'm sure there are nine women with children in various parts of the South who can agree with that statement, John.

Obviously the football gods heard me mention baseball, because they are punishing me not only with a Broncos TD, but with a Sox run at the same time. I swear I will never cheat again.

The Football Gods do not tolerate channel surfing. You know, I'd not listened to any Living Colour in a while. Thanks, NBC. Seriously.

ALERT: We would like to inform you that J.D. Drew is no longer clutch; he hit into a double play with the bases loaded. Aaaaannnnd we have our first John Elway reference, mentioning his son Jack committing to Arizona State for next year.

DOUBLE ALERT: The Broncos get a 3 and out. Who knew! Now they're taking it down the offensive end, and Cutler is looking for Stokley more and more.

We're not even out of the 1st Qtr and we're already hearing comparisons of Tomlin to Cowher, with the obligatory, "That's Steelers football." Which of course means Ben gets picked deep down field.

Fox is telling me Budweiser is the Great American Beer, but NBC is telling me Coors is the Banquet Beer. Are banquets unAmerican now? Do terrorists often have banquets where they give out awards and discuss the yearly financials, maybe? - Tuffy

Budweiser is engaging in a scorched earth campaign against its recently merged rivals for the dollar of the piss-water jingo beer drinker. First quarter's over, 7-7 all.

Hiya, folks. S2N here, and tonight, the Sunday night NFL Live-Blog will be a bit different, as the Starter Wife from Ladies... will hopefully be joining me. Watch what happens when a Steelers fan and a Broncos fan square off when live-blogging a game between their teams.

That said, I'm wondering just how many of you will be watching Game 7 of Indians-Red Sox instead. I know I'll be flipping back and forth during the commercial breaks. At the very least, I will post an open thread for the game.

Either way, leave your predictions for Steelers-Broncos, and other impressions of the day's action in the NFL, as well as choice moments of stupidity by the studio crew here.

See you for the first quarter.