Sports announcers are all over the place when it comes to TV commercials these days. From deli sandwich shops to car rental companies, they pretty much run the gammit of industries. Well at least I thought so until I saw this ad featuring NFL on FOX analyst Jimmy Johnson. Yes, Jimmy has branched out into "male enhancement"....

"Go long with Extenze....I do."- Jimmy Johnson

I mean, you've got to jump on advertising opportunities when and where you can, but I would probably have truned that one down.

(Via Sportress of Blogitude)

Before I get into this post, I want to make two things clear. First, this quote is taken completely out of context. Second, I have a twelve year-old's sense of humor. With that out of the way, let's take a look back at the AFC Championship game and Phil Simms saying he "likes it tight", while Jim Nantz chuckles!

Too good. I like how Phil pointed out that he mentioned "he likes it tight" during Halftime, and still thought it would be a good idea to say it going into the second half. At least he knows what he likes. Good for you, Phil. Good for you.

I guess I gave it away with the title, but since there's no open thread for tonight, I had to give you something to bide your time. Try to find the typo in this screencap from reader MP....

Okay everyone....I have been one upped by the cowbell girl. Someone needs to get this girl some media availability. She's going to be a star tomorrow!

There was a play earlier in the season which ended in Devin Hester showing his posterior to the world, but that's nothing compared to this one. Raiders DT Tommy Kelly made a heck of a stop on Knowshon Moreno near the goal line, but was pants'ed in the process....

Ummm....yeah. I don't really have anything to add to that one.

Never Want To See This Again (Statue Left)

A few years ago, I thought that Al Michaels was becoming a bitter old man, but this season and last has proved that theory wrong. He seems to be having fun again, throwing in his lines about spreads in the middle of games, and using great quotes like this one! Via Slanch Report

I'm not sure if he meant it....you know that way....but either way it's hilarious. You know what's not hilarious? EJ Henderson's leg snapping....



Al Michaels — Master of the English Language (Slanch Report)

I understand that a lot of the stuff that we post here is very 12 year old humor'esque, and most of the time it's a stretch, but there are some that just speak for themselves. Like this clip of Phillies' announcer, Sarge Matthews, talking about jerking off balls! Via HHR....

Hey....if it comes, it comes. I don't know if I've heard better advice in my life.

Audio: Sarge Mathews on Jerking off the Ball (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

About a year ago, the Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman was briefly suspended for her "lynching" comments in regards to Tiger Woods, and today another analyst on the network has been suspended. Former PGAer Andrew Magee, who is an on-course reporter, has been "disciplined" for a comment made to analyst Gary McCord, about a funny t-shirt that he saw a fan wearing. Via CBS Sports....

Magee, serving as a roving reporter during the second-round broadcast, told the network he believed he was off the air when he mentioned to fellow analyst Gary McCord that he had just seen a fan wearing a T-shirt that read, "I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a brownie."

McCord, who works primarily for CBS Sports, didn't react verbally and there were several moments of dead air following the comment.

Golf Channel spokesman Dan Higgins said the network received several e-mail complaints from viewers about the remark. The Golf Channel's online message boards have been filled with fan feedback on the matter.

"He was disciplined for that," Higgins said, from Orlando. "It was a mistake. He's fairly new in the role of on-course reporter, which is no excuse, but he has been disciplined, yes.

"It was inappropriate."

I'm confused. Were there really that many people out there who were actually offended enough to contact the network? And on top of that, how many people do you think even get the joke? I admit that I myself had to think about it for a few seconds before it registered. While I have yet to hear how the presence of the t-shirt was exactly relayed over the airwaves, it seems like this is a non-issue. I think the Golf Channel's stance of the comment being "inappropriate", is the right one, and in no way should Magee be suspended.

Update: It appears that Magee has actually been suspended and will be off the air for one week starting today.

Golf Channel reprimands loose-lipped Magee (CBS Sports)

Versus, like any company these days, is trying everything they can do to get press and notierity on the cheap. They've recently started a marketing campaign for the network that has people sending in photos with their best use of the letter "V" for their logo. Basically various folks flashing the peace sign.

So what's wrong with that you ask? Well just the fact that they are calling it "Show Me Your V". Puck Daddy has some of the more interesting reactions...

Puck Daddy reader Tim: "In case you missed it, they have a new promotion that calls for its viewers to send in 'extreme' pictures of themselves. The promotion is called 'Show Me Your V'. The idea is for the people to be showing acts of vengeance, versatility... whatever ... while flashing the hippie-gang-sign. With the roughnecks that watch that station, there will be some interesting and literal interpretations of 'Show Me Your V'. Honestly, that's the most hilariously flawed promotional name I've come across. Leave it to the national broadcaster of the NHL."

Puck Daddy reader James: "Ripe for abuse, begging to be eaten up....... wow my head is spinning."

Oh, c'mon, it's not that bad ... is it?

On the one hand ... "Show Me Your V?" Maybe our minds are so far in the gutter that we've got rats scurrying across them, but even Roger Moore's James Bond would believe this double entendre is a tad too telegraphed.

That's not a bad assessment, but "Show Me Your V" is almost so bad and obvious, that it's even more funny. I mean the pictures are completely lame, and no aspiring model has taken it to the next level as of yet, so maybe they're trying to be serious with this whole thing.

Show Me Your "V" (Versus)
Versus asks to see your 'V', doesn't offer to buy dinner first (Puck Daddy)

You may not want to be checking out another man's junk this early on a Monday, or you may have checked out the link during the live-blog last night, but I had just had to make room for a mistake this, umm....big. During FOX's postgame coverage of the Vikings-Lions game, a cameraman was filming Minnesota's celebration in the locker room. Well he caught a little bit more than he wanted to when panning around the room....


Okay, so I guess I didn't show you junk after all, but you get the idea. But if you don't, and would like to compare yourself to our unnamed Viking (the rumor is that it's Visanthe Shiancoe), you can head (get it?) over to D-Spin.

Too funny.

Viking Exposed -- Literally -- On Live TV (The Sporting Blog)
FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong (Deadspin)

The Sporting Blog came across a funny and yet somewhat disturbing poll on the pages of Fox Sports this afternoon that I wanted to share. Let's have some fun with sexual innuendo!


It's odd to me that this whole Sean Avery situation has become so polarizing in the MSM community. The comments seemed bad enough to the AP that they wouldn't even use the term "sloppy seconds" in their article, but FOX Sports just went to town with their poll. It's not enough that Cuthbert was probably pretty embarrassed by this, but now a nationally recognized website is rubbing it in. Tsk tsk, Fox.

FOX Sports Has Fun With Sexual Innuendos (The Sporting Blog)

A hilarious exchange took place during the UNC-MD game this evening. As Brad Nessler was talking about the Minnesota-Wisconsin game he tried to mention the trophy that both teams play for in the rivalry, Paul Bunyan's Axe. Nessler, however, called it something else and Bob Griese was there to question him....

Pretty sure that was a Paul Bunyan's "Ass" that Nessler said the Gophers and Badgers were playing for. He tried to save it there, but I don't think he quite did. Too funny.

I know this is a week old, but it's too funny not to have a spot on this site (thanks to DD for the clip). During last week's Cardinals-Panthers game, Neil Rackers was lining up for a 39-yard field goal, when Carolina's Coach John Fox decided to ice the kicker with one of those right before the snap timeouts. Well listen closely for what Vasgersian has now dubbed the tactic....

I approve! When coaches starting pulling this move about three years ago, I noticed announcers struggling for a term to use, but now they have it thanks to Matt Vasgersian. It shall now be referred to "Clock Blocking", for evermore.

Al Hrabosky works with Dan McLaughlin for Cardinals broadcasts and last night the two were discussing if Jason Isringhausen still gets nervous while warming up. Listen closely to Hrabosky's response, McLaughlin stifling laughter throughout the copyright read, and the subsequent dead air as Dan seemingly mutes his mic for about a minute....

That's just too funny. Using the phrase "get it up" will always make me laugh.

(Thanks to reader Dorf for the tip)

Not only did Bill Raftery talk about Joe Alexander's "Onions", but he spent the better part of the night filling the airwaves with innuendo. Including how he likes to spend nights naked.....seriously. I spliced together a few of his highlights from Thursday night for your enjoyment....

"The answer is take it off."- Verne Lundquist
"Late at night I favor that myself."- Bill Raftery

Quote of the tournament if you ask me. I love me some Raft.

Other Raftery Highlights From Last Night:

"He was strokin' with the best of them!" - Bill Raftery (Via JR)
"He used to sleep on a roll-up mattress. I can relate to that."- Bill Raftery (Via Anon)
"Thrust of the fist!"- Bill Raftery
"When in doubt....just stroke it!"- Bill Raftery

This video is awesomely weird on so many levels. Not only is Pierre McGuire a REALLY close talker but at the 1:45 mark the whole conversation gets taken to a new level. Via TSB....

"You're an announcer with a long stick from time to time."- PM

Riiiiiight. So you like to talk about long sticks eh? Also, Pierre.....no one cares about the logo on the screen. Back the hell up!

Pierre McGuire Needs to Take a Giant Step Back (The Sporting Blog)

When it comes to double entendres using the term facial for a dunk is pretty high on the list. But when you go further and call it a "Major League Facial" then my ears are going to perk up. Send it in big fella (or 6 foot 3 inch Westbrook)!

I'm not sure but did Steve Lavin also make a Vida Blue reference? He did??? Good work Lav, and I reiterate that these two are must watch TV every single game they do. Also the guy who got dunked on is named LeKendric. I'd like to think he had it coming (see what I did there?).

(From MI via Deadspin)

And I thought Mel Kiper was the nerdiest and most awkward Draft guy out there. Mike Mayock is one of folks the NFL Network has on the scene at the combine and he might be a little TOO excited...

Umm okay? Charles Davis didn't help him out either by repeating the word behind twenty times. Sorry my mind is in the gutter today.

Update: Google Video should work...just hit play.

This a short clip but a good one. Don Taylor of SNET is describing a nice save by Toronto's Vesa Toskala when he has a little bit of a slip (A tad NSFW, turn the volume down)....

Wait what? He did what with his what??? Too funny.

(Thanks to ML for sending the video my way)

I know it's just the International Bowl but I've been thoroughly enjoying this team on the call. You've got the two Canadians in Saunders and Flutie and Jesse Palmer and he might be one of the best analysts I've heard in awhile.

Anyway, here's the highlight of the game (and no it's not Ray Rice's 260 and 4 TDs through 3 quarters). Wait for it...Waaaait for it...

I'd love to hear the producer on that one....."Okay, Camera 2 to the Go Rutgers sign.....wait ABORT! ABORT!!!!"

Drats....give us what we want Song Girls! Here's the video if you enjoy twirls and such....