"The Aristocrats!"

One of these men is an over-rated, over-hyped, blowhard with people all over the country willing to blindly agree with everything he says.

The other just tried to be the President.

If I ever hear you butcher my catch phrases like that again, I will hunt you down and kill you.

Berman: Don't tell me I need to retire

Mccain: Hate to laugh but you do need to

you're with me, McCain

You're with me, Leatherface.

Berman: "I swear to God, grandpa, if you keep telling me the Cards will make the playoffs this year, I'll disconnect your colostomy bag and choke you with it."

Berman: "Ha Ha I can lift my arms higher than you."

McCain: "Can't we get this over, I have to go and take my nap."

"Read my lips. I'm. A. Douchebag."

"You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of g0d-damned nerds!"

Berman: The Swami's got 5 on you tomorrow!

McCain: Oh...alright...crap >_<

'' Now look here fuck head, IVE GOT 5 CAMERAS IN MY FACE AND YOUR IMITATING ME ''

And that's how you get the deux deux deux's.

Oh, nevermind - I see you've got 'em already...

"Senator McCain, I wouldn't be concerned about discrimination because of your age. I'm 180 lbs overweight and look at me!"

You're with me Maverick!

McCain: "I'll respectfully disagree, Boomer. I'd rather have Jay Glazer as my Press Secretary over Mortensen."

BERMAN: "Well, Senator, It could have been worse. You could have been Fred Goldman."

McCain: I'm with Leather. Her name is Cindy.

The pitch, McCain hits it deep. Its barack, barack, barack, gone!

And now Senator John "Lost Campaign" McCain.

Sign in the background: "Did you know Wade Boggs once drank 64 beers on a cross-country flight?"

McCain: "you know boom, I've been through rope bindings, beatings, dysentery, broken bones and various awful things in my life ... but these past five minutes have been the most painful of my life"

Yes, My Friend. . .I have seen the "pull my finger" trick.

A little 8% codeine never hurt anybody. Right, Cindy?

My friend, there is a special place in hell for this "Swami" character you speak of.

boomer: my president's black, my lambeau's blue!

Mr. Berman I've long been listening to your pronunciation on "G-men" and my ears have the scars to prove it.

Pull my finger Senator.

So remember McCain, to win this election, you need the rites of patches.

Berman: John McCain and Abel, rumblin, bumblin, stumblin to a 2nd place finish in this election.

McCain: Very funny fatass

I'm here with presidential hopeful John Anything You McCain do I McCain Do Better. Sir, how do you think you can beat THE DEEEE-MEN.

Berman: "Thanks for joining us Sen. John Mccain 'and Able', and don't forget to visit the Hotel California."

McCain: "Hahahaha, that never gets old!"

Am I back in a POW camp? This is torture...

Fat, bald and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Berman: Hey, look at my finger.
McCain: I got a finger for ya Berman!

Damnit, Berman, that's the worse Bill Clinton impersenation I've ever heard! We are all dumber for listening to that!

Berman: John McCain, and his VP candidate, Sarah Palin...from?

Tom Jackson: Hawaii Pacific! And North Idaho! And the University of Idaho! And Matanuska-Susitna Community College!

Boomer reminds Sen. McCain that a little 8% Codeine, to deal with the rigors of campaigning and answering vague, pointless sports questions from an inflated ballon animal, never hurt anyone.

Boomer: "And next up, an interview with John "I'm so old I walk with a" McCain."

Chris Berman: "Nobody circles the wagons like John McCain."

John McCain (laughs momentarily & then talks to aide off camera): "Hasn't he used that joke since 1992?"

Chris Berman does not appreciate John McCain laughing at his attempts to create nicknames for all 43 previous U.S. Presidents.

John McCain laughs at the idea that ESPN believed that Chris Berman was the most qualified person on their staff to interview him and Barack Obama.

And He Could...Go...All...The...Waaaaa... OOHHH!!! He came up short!!!