(See what I did there?) I mentioned last week that I was planning on making the time to check out Sterling Sharpe's first play-by-play gig on the NFL Network and that I was actually looking forward to it. I also added that I thought it might actually work and after checking out a good portion of the game, I want to take this time to say that I was wrong....so very wrong.

The broadcast wasn't entirely bad, and the trio eventually settled in a bit, but the first half was beyond horrendous. It seemed as if Sharpe didn't know he was supposed to be doing play-by-play and at times he would go five to seven minutes without even describing the action on the field. During just about every series, and on punts and kickoffs, there were gigantic pauses and dead air while the play was going on, and occassionally players would be running back to the huddle before he would convey the results. At one point, Marshawn Lynch pulled off a 16-yard run and the RB was back in the huddle before anyone in the booth said a word. It was easily a good 40 seconds or so of nothing. As a PbPer, you don't have to describe every single moment of each play but it would be nice to hear a little description every once and awhile. Here's a brief Youtube clip where you can get a sense of what I'm talking about....

And that was just part of the first quarter! Sharpe also struggled with player's names and yardage throughout and seemed to use the phrase "To a Man" in regards to every single conversation with a coach or player. Both Faulk and Deion tried to help him out when they could but it was almost like the were waiting for a cue from Sharpe. They all sounded and looked to be having fun, but it really came across like Sterling got zero coaching and was just thrown to the wolves. Having three analysts in a booth and no play-by-play guy is close to the most distracting thing I've ever watched.

Again, I think he's a great analyst but this experiment was not a success by any stretch of the imagination. If he sticks to the analyst role, and to honest commentary on Matt Cassel and other players, I think we can just pretend this never happened.

The NFL Network Gives Sterling Sharpe A Shot At Play-By-Play (Awful Announcing)
Tom Brady And The Pats vs The NFL Network (Awful Announcing)

You do not want to make Tom Brady angry. You will not like him when he's angry. Yesterday the Golden Boy laid into the NFL-N for comments that Sterling Sharpe made about backup Pats QB, Matt Cassel. Sharpe and Marshall Faulk were pretty critical of Cassel in his last game against the Bucs, but neither said anything that out of line. The most I can gather is that Sharpe said that the Patriots shouldn't be “too comfortable” with their backup QB.

Well that angered Brady and he had this to say on WEEI yesterday. Via The Boston Herald....

“Watching Matt (Sunday) night, hearing all the criticism, I don’t even know where that was coming from,” he said. “That was so far from what I was watching. The quarterback has a lot of responsibility out there. I thought Matt was making good decisions. He was really decisive with his throws. Was every throw perfect? No. But that doesn’t happen so often anyway.

“I see Matt every day in practice and the improvement he makes. I love what I see in Matt. I have a lot of confidence in Matt . . . for the three guys sitting in the booth, I thought it was unfair to criticize the way they were criticizing, because I don’t think they really knew what was happening.”

Now I know that Brady has to stick up for his friend and teammate, but let's be honest here....Faulk will be a HOFer and Sharpe would have been if not for injuries. I think they're pretty qualified to say if a QB is having a bad day. With Brady himself being injured, it's also a pretty good point to raise in a preseason game.

Cassel himself responded himself after the "criticism" and had this to say: "It’s interesting to me because those guys were in the same shoes at one point in their career, and they should understand how hard it is to go out there and perform each and every week.”

Now I didn't hear the conversation firsthand, but if you're seriously that defensive about a random announcer's comments in the freaking preseason, maybe the NFL isn't the place for you. This whole "The World is against us" routine the Patriots try to pull off every single week is getting old. And good for Sterling, he's standing by his assessment....

“It looked as though the passing offense made a change, as a confidence-building thing with some of the throws for Matt,” Sharpe said. “I could be way off on that. Maybe I missed the boat, and if so, I apologize. But from a player’s perspective, I’m looking at it like, he’s already been in the situation for three years now and he’s in a quarterback battle with a rookie and a guy without much experience? If he’s in a battle, you’d expect him to win it. . . . This was his opportunity to separate himself from the other guys. He has to show why he is the No. 2 guy in New England. So I put more pressure on Matt to perform than I did (Kevin) O’Connell. You bet I did.”

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to announcing, and if a player stinks, I don't want an announcer holding anything back. With ESPN and CBS kissing the Pats collective ass whenever they can, it's great to hear someone take a stand. Bravo Sterling.

Sterling Sharpe’s words for Matt Cassel defended (Boston Herald)

It's well documented how I feel about the duo of Deion Sanders and Marshall Faulk calling a game in any capacity. When Dick Vermeil blew out his vocal cords two years ago, I almost lost my mind with them in the booth along side Bryant Gumbel. Since then Marshall Faulk has gotten much better in my opinion, but Sanders is still a self-promoting waste of airtime.

Well that leads us to this little item from the Chicago Tribune. The NFL Network isn't just throwing those two together again, they're adding someone new to the mix this preseason. Someone who actually might be able to handle the pair and make some sense of their meandering. I give you the newest play-by-play man for the NFL Network....Sterling Sharpe!

Former Green Bay Packers receiver Sterling Sharpe will try his hand at play-by-play.

An NFL analyst for 12 years, Sharpe will call the game for the NFL Network when Buffalo visits Indianapolis for a preseason game Sunday. It will be the first NFL game at the Colts' new Lucas Oil Stadium.

Sharpe will be joined by analysts Marshall Faulk and Deion Sanders, with Adam Schefter reporting from the sidelines.

Don't think for a second that I'm not watching this game. Sterling is just about everything that Deion Sanders isn't as a broadcaster, so it will be interesting to see how the two work together. I still think Faulk can be good and if the Network would stop pairing him with Primetime at every opportunity, I think he'd flourish.

Good luck Sterling, and I give you permission to shut Deion's mic off at any point during the broadcast. Trust me....he'll never know.

Sterling Sharpe to do Bills-Colts play-by-play (Chicago Tribune)

I didn't stick with the NFL game long enough to find this gem from Brahsome via The Sporting Blog....

That is by far the....um, coolest phone I've ever seen Sterling. Your Bedazzler skills are very impressive. Also, TSB's link to Kimberly Stewart sporting a similar phone was priceless. I think I need some "Bling Ring" myself....


Sterling Sharpe Is Straight Ballin' (Brahsome)
Sterling Sharpe Wishes to Be Like Kimberly Stewart (The Sporting Blog)