Your Third Annual Pam Ward Chronicles

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Yes folks, it's that time of year. Pammy herself won the title last year, with Gary Danielson taking the crown in the first installment, so who will win this year? There's only one way to find out, and that's by spending a way too unhealthy amount of time sitting on your coach on a Saturday, and picking out the funniest/most inane comments from your college football announcers!

This year will run exactly the same as last year, with updates coming throughout the day, and a vote on Monday for the best comment. If anyone wants to put some odds together and/or submit their favorites, please do so in the comments. Here's a look at last year's winners, and some of your favorite quotes from past years.

1. Pam Ward (84) 2. Lou Holtz (73) 3. Gary Danielson (70) 4. Brent Musburger (66) 5. Mike Patrick (54) 6. Brad Nessler (48) 7. Bob Griese (36) 8. Petros Papadakis (33) 9. Andre Ware (24) 9. Paul Maguire (24)

2008 Pammy Award Winner- Pam Ward
2007 Pammy Award Winner- Gary Danielson

"If the ball hits the ground, by rule it's incomplete."- Mike Patrick

"Tim Tebow's like the snake doctor for Florida. Gotta stop the snake doctor, keep the Gators from moving the ball....this time he snaked Alabama with a play action pass." - Gary Danielson

"Part of the ligament that they replaced in him was a ligament from a cadaver. Yeah, he's got a part of a dead man in him, but his game is alive!"- Mark Jones

"Alabama rolling over the Volunteers of Texas 22-3." - Wendi Nix

"These goalposts are unlike any others in all of college football because they have two uprights."- Bob Davie

"All of those orange fans up there. I would say to our players, they wear orange so they can cheer for their team. They'll wear the same orange outfit tomorrow to go hunting. And they'll wear the same orange outfit the last five days of the week in order to pick up trash."- Lou Holtz

"Ya know, Hitler was a great leader too."- Lou Holtz

"Greg Orton came over and they slapped each other... on the palms."- Pam Ward

“Great tackle, er, broken tackle by Charles. Gordon finally gets him in the backfield. Gain of 5 for Charles.”- Pam Ward

Posted by Awful Announcing at 12:31 PM


Maybe Lou will reference Bin Laden this season.

GMoney said...
Sep 3, 2009, 1:29:00 PM  

"The agitated man" Sean McDonough.

Joe said...
Sep 3, 2009, 7:55:00 PM  

Todd Ellis, SC play-by-play announcer: "It's the 2009 lid-lifter."

Joe said...
Sep 3, 2009, 8:00:00 PM  

"This is the Dr. Lou Bowl, because Holtz coached both NC State and South Carolina." Sean McDonough

Joe said...
Sep 3, 2009, 8:12:00 PM  

Mark Jones channels Stewie Griffin during BSU/Oregon game: "Billy Wynn for the deuce."

Sep 3, 2009, 11:27:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Abe said...
Sep 4, 2009, 12:21:00 AM  

"To get this offense on track, somebody's got to make something happen, obviously theres no spark on this team and only a player making a play {long awkward pause} can provide it--Bob Davie

Abe said...
Sep 4, 2009, 12:25:00 AM  

Bob Davie-- "Can blueturf cause insomnia, because Oregon is sure sleepwalking"

Ah Bob. insominia and sleepwaking are not the same but opposites.

Unknown said...
Sep 4, 2009, 8:26:00 AM  

I think I heard this right... so:

On the screen they had "this team deserves an a**-whoopin"

Mark Davis - "It's pretty easy to fill in the rest. Buy a couple of vowels and you can complete it." (or something very close to this)

Last I knew, s is not a vowel!

Brian said...
Sep 4, 2009, 6:09:00 PM  

Joe Tessitore - "The speedy Johnson, GONE!"

hahahaha get it because Johnson can mean penis and that's funny.

Anonymous said...
Sep 4, 2009, 10:41:00 PM  

The early odds, set from the grave of Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder:

* Pam Ward - 3/2
* Dr. Lou: 3/2
* TRTIMP*: 3/1
* Gary Danielson: 4/1
* Crazy Uncle Vern: 9/2
* Ray Bentley: 5/1
* Field: 10/1

JamesCraven said...
Sep 5, 2009, 10:57:00 AM  

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