This whole Emmitt Smith as a rogue reporter, for various networks, is highly entertaining. He was last seen talking about tailgating on FOX Sports, but this Friday he's heading to the big time. Emmitt will be taking both the Today Show's, Matt Lauer and Al Roker, on a tour of the Cowboys' new stadium!

Not only will Emmitt be your tour guide this Friday, but Lauer will be interviewing Jerry Jones, and Roker will be hanging with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. The unintentional comedy of this event could be off the charts.

Emmitt Smith has traded his live Monday Night Football appearances on ESPN, for taped ones on FOX Sports, but he's still bringing the goods. In this clip he talks about the awesomeness of tailgating at the new Cowboys' stadium, and the wonders of the other white meat....PORK! Via NESW Sports....

"For fans that are going to the ball game, they have an opportunity now to tailgate at a brand new stadium and smoke it up and saranate the whole stadium itself. To me tailgating is a part of gameday experience. And what we found is that 42% of the people prefer pork over the other meat. And at tailgate parties I can understand why because pork is easy, easy to cook, its simple and it's affordable, and so going to gameday stadium, look for everyone out there to be tailgatin. To be using some type of pork meat on their grills."- Emmitt Smith

Ah yes....Smoke it up and seranatin' at Gameday Stadium! I've missed you Emmitt.

Great News! Emmitt Smith Is Still Talking! (NESW Sports)

Deadspin broke the news on Saturday that Matt Millen would be joining up with ESPN, but today there's even more news on the move. According to USA Today, Matt Millen would not only be on NFL coverage, but he'll be working on some College games as well....

And rationally, you can say Millen is a promising broadcaster because, well, he's already been one: After retiring in 1991 after 12 seasons as a player, his years on CBS and Fox made him a potential successor to John Madden — although nobody really thought Madden would retire.

Instead, Millen will succeed Emmitt Smith, whose fame ultimately couldn't overcome his on-air miscues on Monday night pregame shows. And in also calling college games and making various studio show appearances, Millen won't be hidden away until he proves himself.

And if you buy the idea that the best way to overcome your problem is to shine a light on it rather than try to cover it up, Millen's ideal ESPN debut would come on its NFL Draft coverage Saturday. Wouldn't you love to know the draft prospects that Millen really loves?

ESPN has yet to make this rumored move a reality, but it's definitely a good one. There is the issue of credibility, but after a few months or so, people will probably forget about all of his terrible work with the Lions. Plus, who would you rather have, Millen or Emmitt Smith?

ESPN hires ex-Lions boss Millen as football analyst (USA Today)

And here we.....go! The Brett Favre sweepstakes is underway, and on the heels of the news that Emmitt Smith isn't coming back, ESPN is the front-runner. In fact, Norby Williamson has even stated that they hope to sit down with the retired (?) QB, next month. Via USA Today....

Signing the supposedly retired Brett Favre would bring in a star. Norby Williamson, ESPN executive vice president, says ESPN hopes to meet with Favre next month: "He's a funny, dynamic guy and would add to anybody's coverage."

Unlike networks with far fewer NFL on-air slots, ESPN can let analysts show their moves on ESPN's many studio, news and radio shows and work their way up the depth chart. Fired NFL coach Herm Edwards, who's signed for SportsCenter, NFL Live and ESPNews, is in position to move up. So is Trent Dilfer, after his solid ESPN rookie season last year. Matt Millen, who returned to TV in NBC's Super Bowl's coverage, has talked to ESPN. Says ESPN spokesman Mike Soltys: "Before each season, we look at the full roster and then make assignments."

I still don't see the need to fill Emmitt's roster spot, especially when you considering that ESPN has a million people in that role, but I guess for the press that comes with Favre you'd make an exception. No matter how good or bad he is, people are going to tune in to see what he has to see. In fact, it's the same model ESPN used when hiring the man whom Favre would replace.

Emmitt was hired by the network on the heels of his "Dancing With the Stars" popularity, and while he didn't pan out, ESPN still got that initial push from the buzz. The only difference in this case is that people weren't sick to death of Smith, in fact most of the country was in love with him. If Favre ends up under performing like Smith, the network would probably get even more flak for his hiring than the Smith one.

It's a dangerous path to take when hiring retired athletes and coaches, and while there are some who succeed (see: Jaworski, Aikman, Tom Jackson), the majority end up lasting only a short time.

With Emmitt Smith out, could ESPN get Brett Favre? (USA Today)

You knew the day was coming, but how could you prepare for it? Over the past few years, Emmitt Smith has stuttered, stumbled and made up words, for various programs on ESPN, but next season....that will be no more. ESPN hasn't made an official statement yet, but Pro Football Talk has gotten word from the inside, that Smith has been officially "blowed out" by the "Leader"....

After a two-season run featuring multiple new on-air additions to the English language, the greatest running back in NFL history ultimately has fared no better than Joe Montana as a broadcaster.

Yes, ESPN has advised us that Emmitt’s relationship with the network has ended.

There will be no formal announcement — and presumably no going away party. Or vodka-fueled roast.

“We thank Emmitt for his contributions to ESPN and work ethic the past two years,” ESPN spokesman Bill Hofheimer told us via e-mail. “We wish him all the best.”

Such a sad, sad day. I know that there are times when I wish people weren't on air, but there are some people that you pray stay on just for comedy's sake. Emmitt was one of those people, and I don't know what I'm going to do during Monday Night Football without him. As a tribute to Emmitt, I give you a countdown of my favorite Emmittisms, and the quintessential compilation video of his work. Godspeed my friend, and I hope you find the rites of patches you deserve!

AA's Top Ten Emmittisms:

Honorable Mentions:

"Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record."
"Wes Worker is a possession receiver that make things happen."
"The NFC West is probably one of the weakest conferences in the whole NFC."
"The leadership definitely have to come from the leaders."
"I think it's his self-confidence in himself that make him so confident when it get down into the crunch time."

10. "Last year there was a lot of things the Colts had to address. They couldn't stop the run, and all those. That was one of the biggest things they had to address."
9. "You have to have the personality to match up with the Patriots."
8. "He's giving them all the confidences they need. He giving them the confidence that he need."
7. "They do a very good job of flying around the Football field and carousing the Football carrier."
6. "Don't worry about the game you just won or the team that we just blew out. Uhhh... blown. Blown out. Let's think about what we need to do going forward, and they had blown out."
5. "Eli Manning has been given the rites of patches."
4. "This kind of inconsistency, against a team like New England, will get you completely blowed out."
3. "You cannot change the stripes of a leopard."
2. "Go to Arizona, sharp as a whistle, and do some finishing touches, so we can go down in the Super Bowl and play our best football of the whole entire season."
1. "The strength of the Patriots, their offense, got debacled."



Emmitt Exits ESPN (PFT)
The Emmitt Smith Anthology (Walter Football)

So the big rumor, just like the last time he retired, is that networks are scrambling to sign Brett Favre to an analyst role. Last year, I suggested that FOX would be the way to go, but this year it looks like ESPN and the NFL-N are the front runners. Via the soothsaying, Bob Raissman at the NY Daily News....

"When I get the urge to do something, whether it's TV or whatever, I'll act on it," Favre said. "But right now I've got no desire to do anything."
The current NFL TV landscape does not hold out many possibilities. It's hard to see CBS (Jim Nantz/Phil Simms) or Fox (Joe Buck/Troy Aikman) adding a third voice to its No. 1 teams. As much as NBC's John Madden loves Favre, it's unlikely the Peacock would bring in another mouth to work with The Icon and Al Michaels.

The more plausible scenario would involve two network players left with some wiggle room - ESPN and the NFL Network.

The world waits, holding its collective breath for white smoke to pour from the Bristol chimney. This would signal the return of Tony Kornheiser as the third man in ESPN's "Monday Night Football" booth. Last week he said: "I hope they (ESPN) choose to retain me. I really enjoy the work." But if ESPN boots Kornheiser, Favre — if he wants — would be a marquee (buzz-producing) mate for Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski.

I understand the need to capitalize on someone's fame, on both ends of the hiring chain, but I couldn't be more anti-Favre at this point. That's obviously not going to stop anything though, and this is obviously all speculation at this point, but I have a prediction. I'm going to go along with Raissman on this one and predict that he'll be with ESPN. Why you ask? Well his first interview following the retirement announcement was with the network, and ESPN will be getting rid of someone on their NFL staff very soon. Yes, Emmitt Smith's two-year deal is up, and the word is that his services will no longer be needed. Tear....sniff.

Brett Favre could be major player in broadcast booth (NY Daily News)

After the third year of Monday Night Football on ESPN, the trio of Tirico, Jaworski and Kornheiser have definitely improved in the booth, but there are still some things that bother both myself and the masses. Kornheiser doesn't seem to annoy everyone as much as in years past, and is starting to settle into his role, but some of his tangents and on-air "articles" remain over-the-top. The constant Brett Favre talk through the first five games or so was unnecessary, and it took a chastising from Tirico to finally make him stop.

Other than that, the only other thing the trio suffered from was a set of terrible games. But even with some stinkers, Monday Night Football was the most watched program on cable this past year. Via ESPN PR....

ESPN’s third season of Monday Night Football was the most-watched series on cable television in 2008, set an all-time cable viewership record for the third straight year and drew the year’s three biggest cable household audiences and 13 of the top 15. In three seasons on ESPN, Monday Night Football has registered seven of the top 10 all-time biggest household audiences in cable history, led by the Eagles-Cowboys telecast on September 15, which attracted cable’s largest household audience ever (an average of 12,953,000 million homes).

ESPN’s 17 Monday Night Football telecasts in 2008 averaged a 8.9 rating, representing an average of 8,679,000 households (11,962,000 viewers – P2+), increases of 3%, 5% and 7%, respectively, vs. 2007 (8.6; 8,277,000 and 11,230,000). MNF ended on a particularly strong note with last night’s Chicago Bears’ 20-17 overtime victory over the Green Bay Packers delivering a 9.8 rating, representing an average of 9,582,000 households (13,803,000 viewers – P2+). The game ranks as the third-largest household audience on cable this year.

The numbers don't lie, and for those of you expecting or wanting a change, aren't going to be getting it anytime soon. I know we poke fun at the trio each Monday night, but they're slowly getting better each season and each broadcast. If it ain't entirely broken, I'm sure ESPN feels no need to fix it. And they honestly shouldn't mess with what's working (for the most part) at this point.

That's not to say that there weren't some funny moments and quotes throughout the year, so what I've done is come up with a top ten set of quotes, and a compilation video of clips I've saved throughout the year. We've got Tony apologizing for a comment on Hispanic Heritage Day, Emmitt being Emmitt (Plaxico Berries, Rites of Patches and more) and Kat Deluna butchering the National Anthem. So buckle up and enjoy your 2008 Monday Night Football Season in just eight short minutes!



10. "Hi Brett, Hi Diana."- Mike Tirico during the Week One Packers-Vikings matchup

9. "This is not a Buccaneer team that's built to come from behind." - Jaws
"But they have, on the road. 3 times." - Mike Tirico

8. "Does that mean that, Delhomme, he went to Jarrett?" - Tony Kornheiser

7. "Great play calling, I can't tell you anything else. Very hard."- Mike Ditka

6. "The good thing about being short is that everyone else is tall...."- Emmitt Smith

5. "They were dooing for Deuce McAllister."- Mike Tirico
"Dooing?"- Tony Kornheiser
"Deucing."- Mike Tirico

4. "We put the focus on Favre because people like me are in love with him."- Tony Kornheiser

3. "That's exactly the kind of pass Favre would have thrown. Does it remind you of him at all?"- Tony Kornheiser
"Yes, but you've got to let it go, Tony."- Ron Jaworski
"I'm going to put a Favre moratorium on the Second Half. You only get five mentions!"- Mike Tirico

2. "I took high school Spanish, either he said he's not going to be caught, or please pick up my dry cleaning tomorrow." - Tony Kornheiser
"I said something before which I shouldn't have said, I apologize for it. Not my first mistake, undoubtedly won't be my last, but a 100% apology."- Tony Kornheiser

1. "This kid has obviously not earned his rites of patches in the locker room."- Emmitt Smith
____________________

Thanks again to all of you who took the time to join in on the live-blogs each Monday Night, and sorry for bailing near the end of the season (there was good reason, but I don't want to bore you with the details).

Emmitt Smith made it through a night of coverage without saying anything too crazy, but with Donovan on the stage following the game, the four-man set decided to give us a new Emmittism. It wasn't spoken word, as most Emmittisms are, but rather a pose that everyone decided to break out during the postgame interview. I give you the Emmitt "Cool Pose"!

I always thought that was the Emmitt "I'm going to look at you like you're saying something crazy, even though I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about" pose. So yeah....thanks for clarifying, Stu!

It's the perils of live TV that bring about clips like the one from Tuesday morning (and I would know being the only "live" guest on Blog Show). You all watched in horror as a seemingly lead-filled souvenir plastic cup was hurled towards ESPN's Steve Young, and the analyst is finally able to talk about the scary moment just three days later!

Here is Young on On KNBR-680 in San Francisco yesterday, talking with Ralph Barbieri....

"Yeah, it was a perfect shot. You know, you'd think that would happen in Philly or Cleveland, you don't expect that in Charlotte."- Steve Young
"Do the producers, the powers that be at ESPN, do they apparently want that raucous crowd right up close there?"- Ralph Barbieri
"Yeah, they do it for the shot. So they have fifteen people going crazy so it looks like...wow. There's a lot of excitement going on there."- Steve Young

Zing! Seriously though, Barbieri is right. When I'm trying to listen to new words that Emmitt is trying to use on-air, I don't want a bunch of random fans from New Orleans or Houston drowning him out.

Oh and Steve, good job in being a "good sport" and all, but I wouldn't go saying that you'd expect that in Philly. Pretty sure they're past the whole plastic cup throwing thing and onto heavier and sharper objects. Just sayin'.

Steve Young Interview (KNBR-680)
Your MNF Video Of The Night: Steve Young Battles Hecklers (Awful Announcing)

There's obviously no love lost between Terrell Owens and ESPN, which isn't a surprise that he had something to say about the duo Emmitt Smith and Keyshawn Johnson, but it is interesting that Tampa Bay wideout Antonio Bryant does. The two went on similar rants today, with the likes of Emmitt Smith, Keyshawn Johnson and Trent Dilfer being called out by the pair.

Keyshawn's was in more of a jovial manner than anything else as he poked fun at Emmitt and Keyshawn by saying they need their own show called, "Dumb and Dumber". However, Antonio Bryant really seemed to take offense to being referred to by both Smith and Dilfer as a player with, "off the field baggage." Here are the two quotes from the Dallas Morning News and St. Petersburg Times, respectively....

T.O. (Dallas Morning News): "Those two need their own show - Dumb and Dumber," said T.O., who was otherwise jolly while sporting a Cowboys-customized Santa cap and blinking red nose.

T.O. called Emmitt a hypocrite for publicly calling the Cowboys a bunch of individual, then leaving a message on Greg Ellis' cell phone to pass onto the team. (T.O. wouldn't say what the message was.) T.O. also pointed out that Emmitt doesn't even know the name of the rookie running back who starred against the Steelers, since No. 22 apparently referred to Tashard Choice as Rashard.

As for Keyshawn, T.O. pointed out for the 1,348th time that the Cowboys gave Keyshawn a pink slip so they could sign him.

"Obviously, this guy is still really jealous of me," T.O. said, "because I'm here and this guy is in the booth talking about me and the Cowboys."

Antonio Bryant (Tampa Tribune): "I'm still trying to figure out what all this baggage is I'm supposed to have,'' Bryant said. "I'm being serious. I'm a real person and that bull---- Emmitt said on the TV about 'get my life right,' Trent Dilfer mentioned something about getting my life right outside of football. Last time I checked, man, don't be a hypocrite, man. This is me. A lot of y'all can't really walk on the same side of the street I can walk on and still go put on a suit. I can put on a suit just like you and get on TV and talk just like you. But I can still go home and still be me. So remember that, before you disrespect me like that on TV. I never said nothing bad about anybody out here, man, but just don't disrespect me like that. That's real. I'm out here, I'm a hard worker. I've always been a hard worker. So don't take that away from me, man, and just let me play football. If you've got something to say to me, say it...that's to Emmitt and Trent Dilfer. I really man that. That bothers me, man.'

Well then. I know receivers are divas, and that Emmitt and Key aren't always the greatest analysts (I rather enjoy Dilfer), but what ever happened to having "thick skin"? This isn't the first time someone has mentioned that Bryant has/had off-the-field problem, so I'm thinking this has something to do with the ex-player side of things. Like they're breaking some sort of code. Bryant did say he spoke with Emmitt, but still seems upset after admitting that the ex-NFLer, "went back and starting talking about how I got in trouble because of my mouth."

T.O. takes aim at ESPN's ex-Cowboys (Dallas Morning News)
Bryant: ESPN's Smith, Dilfer 'disrespected me' (St. Petersburg Times)

The obvious NFC East connection between Michael Irvin and Plaxico is there, but other than that and the fact that they are/were great receivers, I just can't find any reason that Irvin and Burress should be in the same sentence. You can argue that Burress is approaching an Irvin-esqe level of trouble (with a previous domestic abuse charge, a handful of team suspensions and now this incident), but until he has a birthday party in a hotel with hookers and a plate full of cocaine, I think he's safe.

Which is why the following video exchange between Emmitt Smith, Stu Scott and Steve Young before the game surprised me. Emmitt claimed there was no comparison to his former teammate Irvin, and that Plaxico was a "Cancer" and should be "removed from the locker room". Oh wait sorry that was Plaxico "Berries"....

Emmitt did get in a great descriptive word, "divisive", but he couldn't get his last name right to save his life. Too funny. As far as Plax himself goes, the only reason the Giants should even remotely think about cutting Plaxico Burress is if they think their stable of young receivers is ready. Sure they would save a ton of money but saying Plaxico doesn't come prepared is just false. He rarely practices, but apparently he doesn't need to. In his three previous years with the G-Men he's averaged 1078 yards, 70 catches and a little under 10 TDs. Obviously his interaction with the team before games is less than is to be desired, but he's still only missed three games in his four years on the team, with two of them coming this year. I'm not saying the guy is a Saint, but with as many chances that Pacman has had.....I think the Giants' receiver has a few more left before he's shunned from the league or the team.

If you're a Giants fan and you think he needs to go, while I think you'd be in the minority, you'd have every right to feel that way. The Giants Organization can ultimately do whatever they want with him, and I think the fact that he's in a large market like New York doesn't help his cause, but hearing people like Emmitt and Young sticking up for Irvin in the same breath that they damn Burress....just doesn't sit right with me.

I'd also be interested what Irvin himself has to say about the troubled receiver. If anything is talked about on his radio show today, I'll let you know.
____________________________

(Stepping down from my soapbox) Now that's out of the way, let's get to the rest of your Monday Nighter in quotes. Many thanks to JFein who kept track of the quotes throughout the game (quietly starting a slow clap).

"What has happened to the Jacksonville?” - The Mike Tirico in the pregame the introductions on the Monday Night Countdown

“Sage Rosenfels is the kind of guy who’s gonna be a late bloomer.” - Steve Young on the 30-year old Quarterback

“I’d like to take Pittsburgh, but since they aren’t playing, I’ll take Houston.” - Mike Ditka

"The roof is open because of the storm.” - Mike Tirico

“Houston’s QBs have combined to throw 17 interceptions in just 11 games. GACK!” - Tony Kornheiser

“Let me just say that these uniforms make the Texans look like Ketchup bottles.” - Tony Kornheiser

“Del Rio’s got a hot leather jacket on.” - Tony Kornheiser

“18 interceptions in 12 games, on pace for 600.” - Tony Kornheiser
“Who does your math?” - Ron Jaworski

"I love it when receivers catch the balls with their hands." - Ron Jaworski

"Mine was longer." - Ron Jaworski

"He could have gone for 30 yards there." - Tony Kornheiser on Sage Rosenfels not keeping the ball and instead throwing into traffic
"Really Tony? 30???"- Ron Jaworski
"Okay, 15."- Tony Kornheiser

“[David Garrard] has better hands than Jerry Porter.” - Ron Jaworski after the QB caught one of his deflected passes

Mike Tirico: “That’s the tallest building in the world not in a downtown area.”
Tony Kornheiser: “I didn’t know they kept stats on that.”

"Did you just hear that? Jacques Reeves runner-up in the Big Ten 200 meters? How did he know that?” - Tony Kornheiser on Mike Tirico

"Remember when the astronauts were brought into the Astrodome for a great barbeque" - Tony Kornheiser making no sense

"Always a good clue when you see a quarterback's arm go forward and forward and the hand empty, it's an incomplete pass." - Mike Tirico

"Talk about hitting the pillow and not having any regrets." - Mike Tirico

"Slaton untouched by a human hand." - Mike Tirico

Update: Apparently the better part of those came from SS' Live-Blog last night. Great work all.

Jaguars/Texans Live Blog - 2nd Half (SS Reporters)

Man, it's been a good while since we've had a great Emmitt quote. Well I finally have one to add to his laundry list of crimes against the English language. Here is Smith trying to use the phrase "rite of passage" when describing Matt Cassel's leadership....

>

As soon as he tried to break out that Cassel is, "stuck between a rock and hard place," I knew that one was going downhill. Thanks for that Emmitt....it's great to have you back.

A few people mentioned that Emmitt Smith was rocking out on-air not knowing he was on camera, and thanks to BSO, we have the video. Here's Emmitt rapping along with "Put On" by Young Jeezy and Kanye West (thanks to JTom for the song recognition)....

Hahaha. I love the look after he realizes he just got caught. Too funny.

Emmitt Smith Thinks Women "Still Owe Him Sex" (Black Sports Online)

After the Cowboys beat the Eagles on Monday night back in week two, Emmitt Smith seemed to be in love with T.O. during a postgame interview, but apparently that wasn't the case. Smith was on Sports Center early Sunday morning to answer emails on-air when a comparison question caused him to take a shot at Owens. Via Fanhouse....

Sportscenter has Emmitt Smith on every Sunday morning to talk about football; yes, he is by himself, but it's early enough where he can only do so much damage. While he's on, some anchor asks him questions posed by reader emails. How spicy! Not really, but it was kind of interesting to get his take when someone wrote in to ask how, paraphrasing, the trio of Tony Romo, Terrell Owens and Marion Barber compared to Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith and Michael Irvin.

After laughing a little bit and dogging the younger crew, Emmitt pointed out that: Terrell Owens is not a true Cowboy.

I guess if anyone is qualified to dub someone a "True Cowboy" it's Emmitt, but I really don't know why he would single out T.O. like that. I'm also getting annoyed with how Emmitt keeps using the word "we" when he's referring to the Cowboys and how he acts like he is still employed by the team. I still think Emmitt is terrible, but he has improved a bit this year, and if ESPN is planning on sticking with him.....they might want to get that under control.

Emmitt Smith Says That Terrell Owens Is 'Not a True Cowboy' (Fanhouse)

First thing yesterday morning a flood of emails came in telling me that I just HAD TO find video of Emmitt Smith on Outside The Lines. I missed the program at the time, but I finally tracked it down this afternoon. The discussion is all things Dallas Cowboys and the guests were Emmitt, Dallas Morning News columnist Jean-Jacques Taylor and ESPN Page 2 writer Jeff Pearlman.

After touching on Adam Jones the conversation turns to Pearlman's book on the Cowboys of the 90s and how the team will basically sign anyone regardless of character issues. Emmitt decides to take offense to it and then finally lays into Perlman for singling out his former team. Oh and make sure you stick around for Emmitt's parting shot to the author at the very end....

Awkward! I think both brought up good points, but Emmitt went a tad overboard with the homerism there at the end. Everyone does deserve a second chance people and if you have a problem with it remember "that is just the system that we live up under".

I like to think that I watch more Golf than an average male fan my age. I don't miss a major and I even watch parts of tournaments that Tiger Woods isn't involved in. With that said, I still have zero idea how the Fed Ex Playoffs work for the PGA and I'm willing to bet that most diehards don't either. I know it's a four event playoff, and that somehow 144 people qualify somehow, but other than that I'm at a loss.

It's more confusing than the BCS at this point, and the PGA Tour seems to know that, which is why they decided to come up with a "celebrity" ad campaign to get people interested. The big names include Dana Torres, Michael Jordan, John Elway, Joe Sakic, Daryl Strawberry and my two favorites.... Joe Buck and Emmitt Smith!

YBB has some more vids, but as they point out....the Championship has already been locked up by Vijay Singh, so they're all kind of for naught. I have to admit though that the FedEx Trophy is pretty badass looking, but until you get Natalie Gulbis on YouTube explaining the rules to me....I'm probably not going to pay attention.

Video: Vijay Singh Ruins PGA Ad Campaign (You Been Blinded)

Last week, Tony joked on Jaws' involvement in the AFL, but this week's MNF Video of the Night features new material from our good friend Emmitt! It's been a few Mondays since Smith was on Countdown, and it really only takes one night of Emmitt to realize just how much I miss him when he's not there. Today's video is a clip of Smith explaining why Shawne Merriman shouldn't let the Chargers "co-horse" him into getting season ending surgery....

Just plain lame! Everything he says at this point just cracks me up. Even words I've actually heard before, I have to go back and check to see if they actually exist. It's really fun as hell....I suggest you try it sometime. The guy could seriously recite passages from War and Peace flawlessly, and I would still just start giggling like a little kid. I honestly love the guy.

In other news, ESPN actually aired a Football game last night without pointless and inane interruptions. Someone was apparently missing, but I still can't quite figure out who that was. Anyone have any suggestions? Onto the quotes....
_______________________

F the quotes. Since you are all such a great reading audience, I'm going to forego your night in quotes for....wait for it....BONUS EMMITT TIME!!!!!!!

Nick who? Out of my mouth to your ears one thing I can promise you this....I love me some Emmitt. Oh and if you didn't know, "LT" stands for LaDanian Tomlinson and the "opening season" is....well I have no idea what that is.

All the way back in June, ESPN decided to send every single member of it's Football team to Green Bay for the Monday Night opener on September 8th. By the end of July, that whole and today the troops have been officially called off. Via the JS Online....

ESPN no longer plans to send the entire "Monday Night Countdown" crew to Lambeau Field when the network carries its regular-season opener on Sept. 8, when the Packers play host to the Minnesota Vikings.

That game had been scheduled as the time Favre's number would be retired by the Packers. But Favre changed his mind and decided to continue his career, prompting the Packers to postpone the number retirement.

Just as they did last season, the "Countdown" broadcasters - Stuart Scott, Emmitt Smith and Steve Young - will be on site at Lambeau, and the sites of all the other "Monday Night Football" games throughout the 2008 season.

Seems like the smart decision, but I was kind of looking forward to see how they put together a set that fit seventeen people. I'm also just happy that Emmitt is going to be there. When I turned on Countdown last night, I was borderline mad that Ditka was in for him. I know they're trying to phase him out, but try to make it happen as slow as possible please.

In other programming news: The NFL Network is going to carry the rest of the New York Favres' preseason games live.

Change in game plan (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

(P.S.- Sorry about the headline....I'd been saving that one for awhile.)

I'm not going to lie to everyone, Emmitt seems much improved over last year. He's been through television training camp and you can tell already that he'll be better this year. With that said, Emmitt simply does not belong on television unless he's dancing. Here is Emmitt trying to explain....well I'm not sure really....on Sports Center's Cold Hard Facts last night and it's your Monday Night Football Vid of the night #1....

My personal favorite part was the, "Come face.....come to terms" part, but there are so many layers of this clip that it's tough to settle on just one. It's like an onion. Number one....First of all, I honestly have no idea what he was trying to say at all. I was confused, then on board, then lost, back on board, and then in Guam. Also, why does Favre need to realize that the Cowboys were and integral part of your career, Emmitt?

The best part though.....it was only 30 seconds! There's not a person in the world that could confuse me more in that short amount of time. He continues to amaze me every single time he comes on-air, and there's not a lot of people you can say that about.

It's good to have you back Emmitt.

So last night's telecast was rather interesting. Monday Night Countdown had more analysts than ever, Tony Kornheiser complained about the heat in Arizona and Emmitt....well, Emmitt actually wasn't that bad (not THAT bad at least). The broadcast definitely got stale at times, namely the second half, but you can expect that in a preseason game. Let's break this out and do a paragraph on each element, shall we?
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Countdown: Your players were (from left to right) Trey Wingo, Keyshawn Johnson, Cris Carter, Tom Jackson and Emmitt Smith. The problem wasn't the content, in fact they all had solid contributions at one point or another, but rather just too many cooks in the kitchen (per usual).

The best segment of the show came when their collection of former players at the ready explained how Favre would help each individual offensive position for the Jets next season. Carter discussed how the offensive line should buy in right away, Key broke down how the receivers should be excited for not having just 6-yard routes to run, and good ole' Emmitt actually made sense when explaining how all of this would lead to a huge year for Thomas Jones.

Emmitt still had his moments, and while this pregame show wasn't bad, it still wasn't great. In all honesty a host (not Berman), Tom Jackson and Cris Carter would be solid, but with 80 people on the payroll that's probably not possible.

1st Half: Okay, what the heck happened to the whole nixing the sideline reporters thing? Michele Tafoya was all over this broadcast and Suzy Kolber was milling around during Countdown. As recent as a month ago, Tony Kornheiser confirmed that the two would likely be seeing less time but he wasn't sure of the reasoning.

Other than that obvious addition, or rather non-deletion, the first half was pretty spot on. Lots of Leinart and Bush talk, but that was expected, and amazingly....and I mean AMAZINGLY....very little Favre talk. The trio talked about the potential of the Saints offense, delved into the dicey acquisition of Shockey and had a few good interviews. It was a good mix.

Halftime: By far the best part of the program. It was just Wingo and Carter on the set (which looked insanely small with just them at the desk) talking highlights. The two even delved into Baseball and Golf and had a pretty good rapport that obviously developed over the Summer during NFL Live.

2nd Half: This is where things usually derail for the trio. Tony goes off on inane tangents, Mort forces stats talk and Tirico is left picking up the pieces. If the game is a blowout or a preseason game, it's even worse. Never fails.

This game was no different with Tony's cheesy joke du jour being that it was ridiculously hot in Arizona. Who knew it was hot in the f'ing desert? I'm not sure how many actually enjoy his act at this point of the game, but it can't be many. He also added in a "Brett Favre has been traded to the Knicks" joke for good measure. Look for it around either the 3-minute mark of the third quarter or the 11-minute mark of the fourth of every game this year.

Tirico, on the other hand, was extremely good throughout the game and even made me laugh out loud at one point in the second half with this exchange....

“You have a incredible amount of facts at the ready. You knew that was the only first down of the half. I think no more than five people in the world knew that.”- Tony Kornheiser
“Enjoyable moments in play by play. Men dream of the fourth quarter in preseason games. These are the happy moments of the year.”- Mike Tirico

(I guess that's a good segue into the quotes)

Your Top Ten Quotes:

We're changing up this year. Going with both good and bad in the same spot....well, mostly bad.

10. “The question I have for Matt Leinart, does he love playing in the National Football League? Or does he love the benefits of being a player in the National Football league.”- Cris Carter (Great way to pose it)

9. “Jaws, this maybe as good a quarterback situation as any team in the NFL.”- Mike Tirico on the Cardinals (Ummm really?)

8. “Watch Terrell Smith here, this is one of those Chris Berman lines…..rumbling, bumbling, bullying to the endzone.”- Ron Jaworski (Huh?)

7. “This just in….Brett Favre has left Jets, he signed with the Knicks, I’m tired all the stuff the Jets said about me.”- Tony Kornheiser (Boooooooo!)

6. “440 Completions for Drew Brees.”- Ron Jaworski
“That was like five years for you right?- Tony Kornheiser (Now that's funny)

5. “This is the thing, Brett Favre is coming to New York and leaving Green Bay.”- Emmitt Smith (Thanks for the insight Emmitt!)

4. “He’s been the Most Valuable Internet Player for awhile with those beer pong photos. You want to say, hey dude....it’s not Entourage.”- Tony Kornheiser on Leinart

3. “I don’t know how they can truly be comfortable with Aaron Rodgers considering that the fact, that, he has only played in that number of games.”- Emmitt Smith

2. “I don’t know anything about Football, but I believe what Keyshawn says.”- Cris Carter (I'd rethink that)

1. “Where does Hochuli go to get his shirts made that tight?”- Tony Kornheiser (Come on, you knew an Eddie Gunz joke would make it in)
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In the end (I'm sure it doesn't read like it above) the broadcast wasn't bad. With the way the past two years have gone you have to know that this is a vast improvement. There were still some elements that were less than desirable, but that just comes with the territory. Again, it was the first preseason game of the year.

There is one final note I wanted to make though. For the first time ever, Jaws really got on my nerves in the second half. He was forcing things and his stance that the Packers were better off without Favre was laughable. Especially after Tony asked him why he'd pick Rodgers and he responded, "Because when you build a Football team you build it for the future. Right now they could probably win more games with Brett Favre." Huh? That makes zero sense. I understand he's the "nice" one, but he'd be better served by at least once talking bad about something or someone. Just a thought.

Overall Grade for the Night: C+/B- (I can't talk myself into giving out a solid B out this early in the season)

(Normally there'd be a video of the night in this spot but this post ran super long. Once I get the format down and/or figure out how to add a "jump" feature....it'll all go in the same spot. Stay tuned for your MNF Video of the Night coming in the next post. Oh and if you have suggestions on the "Review" format and/or a title for the brand new "Pam Ward Chronicles" of the NFL, let them be known in the comments.)