Tony Rags On The AFL (And The Rest Of Your Monday Night In Quotes)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Last week, Steve Young's hair was the topic of discussion, but this week's MNF Video of the Night means so much more. It's all about the kids folks, and Jaws decided to spend some time with teams from local Pop Warner Leagues around the Northeast area. It was so beautiful and moving, but that didn't seem to impress Tony who decided to throw a right cross at the analyst's "other" Football venture, the AFL....

That's close to the funniest thing that Tony has ever said. Good times! Here's the rest of your Monday nighter in quotes....

“RW McQuarters was a thousand dollar bill!”- Chris Berman

“Then they bring in Bernard Berryman as a receiver to stretch the field.”- Keyshawn Johnson

“You can say a lot of things you can say about Jersey. One thing you can say, there’s a good Diner never far away.”- Mike Tirico

“Let me go back to Eli who you see growing a beard, which is what real men do. They grow beards, Jaws. They have beards.”- Tony Kornheiser

“If you get 15 yarders for swinging and missing. What do you get for swinging and hitting?”- Tony Kornheiser
“30.”- Ron Jaworski

”With Tiki gone across the river to do TV and they said who in the world is going to get ALL those yards. Well Jacobs led the running back by committee that had 7 fewer rushing yards than the Giants in 2006.”- Mike Tirico
“That’s why Tiki moved from the nine o’clock hour to the 10 o’clock hour. Because someone out gained him. That’s another network, I should probably stay away from it.”- Tony Kornheiser

“Now you’re one of us. Best of luck this season.”- Suzy Kolber
“I am one of you, baby! I am off the field, and I am happy. I’ll be sitting in a studio every week in nice sunny California.”- Michael Strahan

“And if this is an example of what they’re going to do in primetime, they’ll wanna get back to that one o’clock Sunday slot with no one watching.”- Tony Kornheiser
“We know it’s a preseason game, but they ARE NOT sharp.”- Ron Jaworski

“Right now in Cleveland, 50,000 people are preparing to chant for Brady Quinn.”- Tony Kornheiser

“I think you used the word chic at the top of the show and it’s a good word. They’re getting destroyed right now.”- Tony Kornheiser

“He’s the Hound of the Zasterdils.”- Tony Kornheiser on Browns’ Punter Zastudil

“We’re just angling for a ring.”- Mike Tirico
“Talk to Bon Jovi.”- Ron Jaworski

“We can show you with finger cam what Brady Quinn is doing with his grip.”- Tony Kornheiser

“He’s out of Football now as is Michael Football.”- Mike Tirico on Michael Vick

“Now Kyle Orton, who can’t throw the deep ball. And be deep I mean twenty to thirty yards.”- Tony Kornheiser


Monday Night Football is totally unwatchable. It's also irrelevant. THEIR schedule looks like the 1 PM Eastern Time lineup. Unwatchable, unlistenable, not relevant. Let's hear it for those Bristol execs who put this deal together and saddle us with Kornheiser's incessant crap. Unfortunately, because of cable subscriber fees, they have a business plan they inherited that can't fail -- so they think they're geniuses. Sick. And the viewers are sick....

Anonymous said...
Aug 19, 2008, 10:40:00 AM  

Hound of the Zastudils? That sounds like a Dennis Miller reference.

Be careful while jumping off of the Browns bandwagon. They are going to take more than a step backwards.

GMoney said...
Aug 19, 2008, 10:49:00 AM  

Haha that "Michael Football" goof by Tirico was funny.

Jay said...
Aug 19, 2008, 1:30:00 PM  

Does Tony Kornholio need TP for Bunghole?

Anonymous said...
Aug 19, 2008, 2:40:00 PM  

Tony ripping on Orton.

Sort of like the port-o-john making fun of the outhouse.

hollywood wags said...
Aug 19, 2008, 3:22:00 PM  

Post a Comment