So it was two weeks ago that I told you about ESPN's plan to "focus on Football" and not have guests show up in the booth. There's now even more word that the focus has shifted and after talking with focus groups in the offseason they realized that they were, "trying too hard."

"I think we may have been trying to overdeliver for all audiences and casual fans," said senior coordinating producer Jay Rothman. "You could call us the old ABC on steroids, but the truth of the matter is we are a sports network and people tune into ESPN for a sporting event.

" One of the things we heard was You're trying too hard.' Well, we're going to pull back. We may not be 20 pounds in a 5-pound bag; we'll give you 5 pounds in a 5-pound bag. But guilty as charged: I think we were trying to service too many and found we were doing too much."

ESPN plans in particular to let analyst Ron Jaworski shine more at what he does best, which is taking the intricate X's and O's of the game and making them easy for viewers to understand.

"We're going to make him the new (John) Madden," said Rothman. "Jaws is one of the most credible and well-liked football analysts out there, not just by fans, but by teams and players as well."

ESPN also plans to utilize high-speed cameras and new graphics, but says it wants to get its graphics "out of the way" of the action on the field, another thing it says its focus groups wanted.

Mike Tirico and Tony Kornheiser return with Jaworski and Rothman said he plans to use Kornheiser to deliver "instant columns" to put events in perspective.

See this is the thing. I completely understand the direction and the thinking here, but to me it's still not the right direction. You shouldn't be trying to make Jaws the next Madden, but rather just let him be himself. There's no correct formula to delivering a stellar broadcast because each game is different and always changing. Some games are going to be dreadful like that Dolphins-Steelers game in the rain last year and some will go from blowouts to amazing comebacks like the Cards-Bears game in 2006. Ultimately though, the problems don't stem from Jaws or Tirico at all, but rather Tony's ramblings on his fantasy football team and stories that are months old. He's very endearing at times when he seems to care about the back story, ala Michael Vick, but more often than not it seems like he just doesn't care about the game at all.

It's great that they are considering the feelings of the fans, but the fate of the trio unfortunately doesn't hinge on Jaws, but rather Kornheiser.

Carlisle: ESPN will shift its focus to football (Ventura County Star)
ESPN Comes Up With The Novel Idea Of Focusing On "Football" During MNF Games (Awful Announcing)

Last week, Tony joked on Jaws' involvement in the AFL, but this week's MNF Video of the Night features new material from our good friend Emmitt! It's been a few Mondays since Smith was on Countdown, and it really only takes one night of Emmitt to realize just how much I miss him when he's not there. Today's video is a clip of Smith explaining why Shawne Merriman shouldn't let the Chargers "co-horse" him into getting season ending surgery....

Just plain lame! Everything he says at this point just cracks me up. Even words I've actually heard before, I have to go back and check to see if they actually exist. It's really fun as hell....I suggest you try it sometime. The guy could seriously recite passages from War and Peace flawlessly, and I would still just start giggling like a little kid. I honestly love the guy.

In other news, ESPN actually aired a Football game last night without pointless and inane interruptions. Someone was apparently missing, but I still can't quite figure out who that was. Anyone have any suggestions? Onto the quotes....
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F the quotes. Since you are all such a great reading audience, I'm going to forego your night in quotes for....wait for it....BONUS EMMITT TIME!!!!!!!

Nick who? Out of my mouth to your ears one thing I can promise you this....I love me some Emmitt. Oh and if you didn't know, "LT" stands for LaDanian Tomlinson and the "opening season" is....well I have no idea what that is.

In its first year on ESPN, MNF decided that it would be smart to cross promote ABC shows all while the game was going on. The likes of Emmitt Smith (only talking DWTS), Hank Williams Jr talked about nothing while Christian Slater and James Denton battled to see who could piss off the audience more. While they did a much better job of keeping the guests in tune with the game in 2007 (Deanna Favre was amazing in October and the return of Jimmy Kimmel was hilarious), we still had to endure the likes of Drew Caray talking Soccer, Jimmy Johnson & Jeff Gordon talking nonsense, Russell Crowe talking Rugby, John C. Reilly talking "Dewey Cox" and my personal favorite Vince Vaughn talking about nothing.

The whole idea reeked of forcing reality shows and crappy movies down our throats. People could smell it from a mile away and weren't happy about it. Every mainstream site and blog hammered them for it and rightfully so.

Fast forward to today....After hearing accounts from people who attended the ESPN Monday Night Football Luncheon that took place in New York on Monday, (yes AA was invited, yes AA thought it was a trap so he didn't go) it seems to me that ESPN is attempting a re-branding of sorts for Monday Night Football. And, according to multiple sources, including Neil Best of Newsday, ESPN might not have any guests at all this season!

But here's a snippet that might even be newsworthy: When I asked producer Jay Rothman for his best guess about the number of booth guests this season, now that Brett Favre will be unavailable for the opener at Lambeau, he said, "Zero."

Then he added, "We may pull something off the eve of the election, but if we do we’ll do so at halftime."

Umm . . . the election? Was he referring to the President of the United States, perhaps?

"I don't know," Rothman said.

Umm . . . where is the game the night before the election?

Rothman: "Washington, D.C."

ZERO?!?! Well how about that? ESPN has been hammered over the past few years for being stubborn and not listening to their fans, but I think that's somewhat changing. Obviously not everyone can have what they want, but it's good that they understand how distracting and pointless a lot of those guests were and that they're (theoretically) making a change.

I also don't really have problems with guests as long as they are somehow linked to the game at hand. It would also be understandable to have the President on as well before the election. But inviting "Desperate Housewives" actor James Denton on, when he clearly knows nothing about Football, might have possibly been the worst decision in the history of Sports Television. I'm just saying.

President Bush to visit 'MNF' booth Nov. 3? (Newsday)

Last week, Steve Young's hair was the topic of discussion, but this week's MNF Video of the Night means so much more. It's all about the kids folks, and Jaws decided to spend some time with teams from local Pop Warner Leagues around the Northeast area. It was so beautiful and moving, but that didn't seem to impress Tony who decided to throw a right cross at the analyst's "other" Football venture, the AFL....

That's close to the funniest thing that Tony has ever said. Good times! Here's the rest of your Monday nighter in quotes....
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“RW McQuarters was a thousand dollar bill!”- Chris Berman

“Then they bring in Bernard Berryman as a receiver to stretch the field.”- Keyshawn Johnson

“You can say a lot of things you can say about Jersey. One thing you can say, there’s a good Diner never far away.”- Mike Tirico

“Let me go back to Eli who you see growing a beard, which is what real men do. They grow beards, Jaws. They have beards.”- Tony Kornheiser

“If you get 15 yarders for swinging and missing. What do you get for swinging and hitting?”- Tony Kornheiser
“30.”- Ron Jaworski

”With Tiki gone across the river to do TV and they said who in the world is going to get ALL those yards. Well Jacobs led the running back by committee that had 7 fewer rushing yards than the Giants in 2006.”- Mike Tirico
“That’s why Tiki moved from the nine o’clock hour to the 10 o’clock hour. Because someone out gained him. That’s another network, I should probably stay away from it.”- Tony Kornheiser

“Now you’re one of us. Best of luck this season.”- Suzy Kolber
“I am one of you, baby! I am off the field, and I am happy. I’ll be sitting in a studio every week in nice sunny California.”- Michael Strahan

“And if this is an example of what they’re going to do in primetime, they’ll wanna get back to that one o’clock Sunday slot with no one watching.”- Tony Kornheiser
“We know it’s a preseason game, but they ARE NOT sharp.”- Ron Jaworski

“Right now in Cleveland, 50,000 people are preparing to chant for Brady Quinn.”- Tony Kornheiser

“I think you used the word chic at the top of the show and it’s a good word. They’re getting destroyed right now.”- Tony Kornheiser

“He’s the Hound of the Zasterdils.”- Tony Kornheiser on Browns’ Punter Zastudil

“We’re just angling for a ring.”- Mike Tirico
“Talk to Bon Jovi.”- Ron Jaworski

“We can show you with finger cam what Brady Quinn is doing with his grip.”- Tony Kornheiser

“He’s out of Football now as is Michael Football.”- Mike Tirico on Michael Vick

“Now Kyle Orton, who can’t throw the deep ball. And be deep I mean twenty to thirty yards.”- Tony Kornheiser

Steve Young was with Matt Hill in L.A. for the Madden release party last night and both of them did a brief spot for Monday Night Countdown. Well, Young's hair wasn't exactly cooperating with him, and afterward, Chris Berman and Chris Mortensen decided to have a little fun at his expense....

Don't know why I found this so funny, but whoever yelled "Huh?" in the background just cracked me up. Seriously though, the wind wasn't even blowing....what the heck was Steve doing before that segment???

Here's the rest of your Monday night in quotes:

“Me and Key. If we’re in that looker room we don’t care how much experience you have. We want the ball and we want it a lot.”- Cris Carter

“So shut up and play. If you win, everyone will be happy.”- Mike Ditka

“Alex Smith, who’s in a battle for his job, so he goes to Arnez BATTLE.”- Chris Berman

“They don’t have a Staubach in Chicago. Staubach? Is it Staubach or Starbuck?- Mike Ditka
“It’s preseason for all of us.”- Chris Berman

“They got Good Charlotte who Steve likes and Busta Rhymes who Steve is going to get up on stage with.”- Mike Hill on Steve Young at the Madden 2009 Event in L.A.

“Bobby Engram out 6 to 8 weeks.”- Chris Berman
“Ooooh. They’re looking for a receiver, Key!”- Cris Carter

“I went back this afternoon, I know Tony will love this because he does not think I have a life. I went back and watched the Dallas game on the coaching tape from last year…”- Ron Jaworski

“It’s a tutorial.”- Ron Jaworski
“The Mr. Wizard of Football!”- Tony Kornheiser

“Speaking of Hawk, you see a lot of 50 jerseys in the crowd. A lot of 4s but a lot of 50s. Maybe they’re free.”- Tony Kornheiser

“Like an Ichabod Crane hit.”- Tony Korheiser after a Packers player lost his helmet

“Last night we ate at Brett Favre’s Steakhouse. Tomorrow there will be a sign, “Coming Soon: An Aaron Rodgers Dairy Queen.”- Tony Kornheiser
“Good steak though.”- Ron Jaworski

“You got him on radio? The day of the game?”- Tony Kornheiser on Mike McCarthy
“Yes.”- Mike Tirico
“He didn’t say I don’t talk on the day of the game like every NBA guy?”- Tony Kornheiser
“He probably came on for Van Pelt”- Mike Tirico
"Fabulous!”- Tony Kornheiser
“Usually Van Pelt gets the heavy hitters”- Mike Tirico

“Then they hire Ari Fleischer if I’m not mistaken. What are they going to do? Declare war on Minnesota?”- Tony Kornheiser

So last night's telecast was rather interesting. Monday Night Countdown had more analysts than ever, Tony Kornheiser complained about the heat in Arizona and Emmitt....well, Emmitt actually wasn't that bad (not THAT bad at least). The broadcast definitely got stale at times, namely the second half, but you can expect that in a preseason game. Let's break this out and do a paragraph on each element, shall we?
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Countdown: Your players were (from left to right) Trey Wingo, Keyshawn Johnson, Cris Carter, Tom Jackson and Emmitt Smith. The problem wasn't the content, in fact they all had solid contributions at one point or another, but rather just too many cooks in the kitchen (per usual).

The best segment of the show came when their collection of former players at the ready explained how Favre would help each individual offensive position for the Jets next season. Carter discussed how the offensive line should buy in right away, Key broke down how the receivers should be excited for not having just 6-yard routes to run, and good ole' Emmitt actually made sense when explaining how all of this would lead to a huge year for Thomas Jones.

Emmitt still had his moments, and while this pregame show wasn't bad, it still wasn't great. In all honesty a host (not Berman), Tom Jackson and Cris Carter would be solid, but with 80 people on the payroll that's probably not possible.

1st Half: Okay, what the heck happened to the whole nixing the sideline reporters thing? Michele Tafoya was all over this broadcast and Suzy Kolber was milling around during Countdown. As recent as a month ago, Tony Kornheiser confirmed that the two would likely be seeing less time but he wasn't sure of the reasoning.

Other than that obvious addition, or rather non-deletion, the first half was pretty spot on. Lots of Leinart and Bush talk, but that was expected, and amazingly....and I mean AMAZINGLY....very little Favre talk. The trio talked about the potential of the Saints offense, delved into the dicey acquisition of Shockey and had a few good interviews. It was a good mix.

Halftime: By far the best part of the program. It was just Wingo and Carter on the set (which looked insanely small with just them at the desk) talking highlights. The two even delved into Baseball and Golf and had a pretty good rapport that obviously developed over the Summer during NFL Live.

2nd Half: This is where things usually derail for the trio. Tony goes off on inane tangents, Mort forces stats talk and Tirico is left picking up the pieces. If the game is a blowout or a preseason game, it's even worse. Never fails.

This game was no different with Tony's cheesy joke du jour being that it was ridiculously hot in Arizona. Who knew it was hot in the f'ing desert? I'm not sure how many actually enjoy his act at this point of the game, but it can't be many. He also added in a "Brett Favre has been traded to the Knicks" joke for good measure. Look for it around either the 3-minute mark of the third quarter or the 11-minute mark of the fourth of every game this year.

Tirico, on the other hand, was extremely good throughout the game and even made me laugh out loud at one point in the second half with this exchange....

“You have a incredible amount of facts at the ready. You knew that was the only first down of the half. I think no more than five people in the world knew that.”- Tony Kornheiser
“Enjoyable moments in play by play. Men dream of the fourth quarter in preseason games. These are the happy moments of the year.”- Mike Tirico

(I guess that's a good segue into the quotes)

Your Top Ten Quotes:

We're changing up this year. Going with both good and bad in the same spot....well, mostly bad.

10. “The question I have for Matt Leinart, does he love playing in the National Football League? Or does he love the benefits of being a player in the National Football league.”- Cris Carter (Great way to pose it)

9. “Jaws, this maybe as good a quarterback situation as any team in the NFL.”- Mike Tirico on the Cardinals (Ummm really?)

8. “Watch Terrell Smith here, this is one of those Chris Berman lines…..rumbling, bumbling, bullying to the endzone.”- Ron Jaworski (Huh?)

7. “This just in….Brett Favre has left Jets, he signed with the Knicks, I’m tired all the stuff the Jets said about me.”- Tony Kornheiser (Boooooooo!)

6. “440 Completions for Drew Brees.”- Ron Jaworski
“That was like five years for you right?- Tony Kornheiser (Now that's funny)

5. “This is the thing, Brett Favre is coming to New York and leaving Green Bay.”- Emmitt Smith (Thanks for the insight Emmitt!)

4. “He’s been the Most Valuable Internet Player for awhile with those beer pong photos. You want to say, hey dude....it’s not Entourage.”- Tony Kornheiser on Leinart

3. “I don’t know how they can truly be comfortable with Aaron Rodgers considering that the fact, that, he has only played in that number of games.”- Emmitt Smith

2. “I don’t know anything about Football, but I believe what Keyshawn says.”- Cris Carter (I'd rethink that)

1. “Where does Hochuli go to get his shirts made that tight?”- Tony Kornheiser (Come on, you knew an Eddie Gunz joke would make it in)
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In the end (I'm sure it doesn't read like it above) the broadcast wasn't bad. With the way the past two years have gone you have to know that this is a vast improvement. There were still some elements that were less than desirable, but that just comes with the territory. Again, it was the first preseason game of the year.

There is one final note I wanted to make though. For the first time ever, Jaws really got on my nerves in the second half. He was forcing things and his stance that the Packers were better off without Favre was laughable. Especially after Tony asked him why he'd pick Rodgers and he responded, "Because when you build a Football team you build it for the future. Right now they could probably win more games with Brett Favre." Huh? That makes zero sense. I understand he's the "nice" one, but he'd be better served by at least once talking bad about something or someone. Just a thought.

Overall Grade for the Night: C+/B- (I can't talk myself into giving out a solid B out this early in the season)

(Normally there'd be a video of the night in this spot but this post ran super long. Once I get the format down and/or figure out how to add a "jump" feature....it'll all go in the same spot. Stay tuned for your MNF Video of the Night coming in the next post. Oh and if you have suggestions on the "Review" format and/or a title for the brand new "Pam Ward Chronicles" of the NFL, let them be known in the comments.)

Ron Jaworski sat down with the now must listen On The DL and the MNF Analyst talked about everything from QBing in Philly to athletes who automatically get spots in a booth upon retirement. The whole thing is worth a listen but here are a few quotes....

On Kornheiser: "I love Tony Kornheiser and I love his role. Just how I love Mike Tirico and what he has to do."

On the nixing of sideline reporters: "I think the focus is going to be on the game.....I tune in for the game and I think the game needs to be the centerpiece of the telecast. And Suzy and Michele are absolutely fantastic. I couldn't think of two better sideline reporters, two better people. They're absolutely incredibly talented ladies, but the focus now is going to be more on the game.

On athletes on TV: "There are a lot of great names that made the transition to television and failed. You know Joe Montana comes up rather quickly......I'm doing Monday Night Football now but it took me 17 years to get to the position. In the interim I've worked every position in television."

On Michael Strahan: "I think the networks do care about fan perception. I think Michael Strahan is guy that's done studio shows in his bye week, we've had him at ESPN....I think the personality will come across well on television. The only thing I question is the depth."

On his glasses: "You know, it's amazing, after 17 years in broadcasting I get more blogs and emails about my glasses then about anything I’ve ever done on television. I look at it this way – at least people are watching. I change them up every year, so I’ll have a new look this year."

Great interview and he really didn't even hold any punches outside of not commenting on Emmitt Smith. He's the perfect example of how hard work can get you prepared for the booth and is basically the anti-Smith. It's one of the main reasons that people love him as an analyst on MNF.

Ron Jaworski talks with the DL (On The DL)
Ron Jaworski: Yes, I Know I Look Like An Old Lesbian (Deadspin)

You know it’s a bad omen for a review when I have no idea where to even start when picking apart a broadcast. ESPN’s Day One coverage of the Draft was probably only slightly behind the 100+ Band view broadcast of last year’s Orange Bowl, as the worst telecast I’ve ever seen. They missed picks, talked over picks and each other, had 40 people trying to chime in, got into fights with each other, and had more commercials on-air than the Draft itself. I was listening to Sporting News Radio late last night and I think their host Matt Spiegel summed it up best by saying, “I was begging for more Mike Tirico.”

Chris Berman is now on the short list of people that should be banned from ever touching the mic again and it’s kind of a shame. We all grew up with the guy but somewhere along the way the schtick overtook any semblance of Sports knowledge he had. He was so lost the entire broadcast that he would have to occasionally pause and rethink his own cheesy nicknames before blurting them out. I’m no Rich Eisen fan, but in this capacity he is head and shoulders above the “has been” Berman. I still think he works well on clip shows and gimmicks like the Homerun Derby, but too many people take the Draft seriously and he’s just a joke at this point. It’s time to phase him out as soon as you can.

As far as the other analysts what can you say? I don’t know when Ron Jaworski got the where with all to argue every single prediction from his partners, but he might possibly be more annoying than Berman. It’s okay to debate the picks and trades but when you’re shouting over top of your “teammates” you just look like a fool. I love his football knowledge and he knows the QB position like no other, but he needs to just settle down and pass along his knowledge calmly. Cris Carter really added nothing and while Mel Kiper’s player knowledge is unprecedented the staged on-air feuds with Todd McShay were unbearable. You need to pick either one or the other and be done with it. The last bad thing I’m going to say about their coverage is that Chris Mortensen should never be on live television. He’s like a deer in headlights out there.

Okay, now that the negatives are out of the way let’s get into what they did well, so they can improve for next year. Trey Wingo should be the host. He leads one of your main NFL shows during the season and offseason and his Football acumen is on par with anyone ESPN has. Adding Kirk Herbstreit on the coverage (presumably for Emmitt Smith) was a good decision and while Michael Smith is a work in progress, he has some promise. Overall the Day Two coverage was actually pretty good and the interview with Caleb Campbell, although somewhat over-the-top, came off as a good addition late in the Draft (even though Jaws almost fell of the stage trying to stand up and shake his hand).

Grades:

Chris Berman: Z-
Trey Wingo: B
Ron Jaworski: C-
Cris Carter: D
Mel Kiper: C+
Chris Mortensen: D
Mike Tirico: B
Kirk Herbstreit: B
Todd McShay: C+
Michael Smith: B-
Producers: F (For deciding it was okay to miss about 10% of the first round)

Overall: D- (only because of Day Two)

You can’t miss live picks, have more commercials than coverage, and have people constantly bickering, and expect to get good reviews. I’m more than positive that there won’t be one major writer in the Country that would give ESPN a passing grade for Day One, and if you see one let me know. Just a horrible, horrible attempt at something they’ve done well in the past.

Video of the Weekend: McShay vs. Kiper (DING!)

NFL Draft Media Review: NFL Network
Weekend Tube Review: NFL Network vs. ESPN (The Sporting Blog)

It's always good when you're in the business of guys arguing on television for no reason, to have a guy who has no idea what to say when posed with a question. I don't know whether Chris Mortensen was trying to cater to NFL Live guest Maurice Jones-Drew, but he went out on a limb and was taken to task by Cris Carter and Trey Wingo....

I mean picking Jacksonville to win the AFC South over Indy isn't THAT big of a stretch, but at least have an answer to simple questions when they're posed to you. Oh and what the hell is with MJD being on every ESPN show over the past few days? I understand getting athletes to comment on the goings on during the offseason but the kid has been on (by my estimation) NFL Live, Sports Center, every Draft special, Mike and Mike, First Take, NFL Primetime and NASCAR Now (that last one might be wrong).

Don't get me wrong, Jones-Drew hasn't been bad at all, but I don't know why they're trying him out on every single show.

Tirico, Jaws, and Tony will get four games to get prepped for the 2008 NFL season starting August 7th and all seem to have an angle for the trio to talk about. They get Matt Leinart to talk about the first game, Brett Favre and Chad Johnson for the second, the Super Bowl Champs in the third, and LT in the fourth.

Here's the schedule.....

Thursday, Aug. 7 (8 p.m.)- New Orleans Saints at Arizona Cardinals
Monday, Aug. 11 (8 p.m.)- Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers
Monday, Aug. 18 (8 p.m.)- Cleveland Browns at New York Giants
Monday, Aug. 25 (8 p.m.)- Seattle Seahawks at San Diego Chargers

Saints coach Sean Payton, Broncos O-coordinator Mike Heimerdinger, and the Rat Fink on the links, as we sit through the halftime report. I'm waiting for the Kobe-LeBron-Tirico interview.

...erm, yeah, that was as boring and anodyne as you can get.
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Broncos kick to Darren Sproles, part of it's coming back due to a hold on the Chargers. LDT rushes for a first down on the first carry of the 2nd half, after Tafoya talks about how both Rivers and Tomlinson won't be playing the entire second half despite being only up 16 points. Nine more for Tomlinson on the next carry. Michael Turner busts it for the first down.

TK: "You pronounce that name very nicely."
Jaws: "Manumaleuna?"
TK: "Yes."
Jaws: "I spend a lot of time around Tirico."

And Jaws is plugging the Arena Football already....and Tirico goes for the Bon Jovi gag with the Philadelphia Soul...oof, they're bored already. Antonio Gates hauls in a third down bomb against Dre Bly. Buster Davis hauls in another first down with a 17 yard catch. LDT gets two yards for another 100 yard game.

How the fuck did Vincent Jackson catch that? Rivers rolled out and looked like it was a throwaway, yet Jackson looked like he hauled it in. Shanahan's going to challenge it.

It's a catch, and LDT rushes for 5 on first and goal. Michael Turner gets to the one on the next carry, but it's a hold on the Chargers, so back it up. Rivers to Chambers over the middle, leaps into the end zone --- touchdown, Chargers! Kick is up and good, 23-0.

(Pours another screwdriver.) I told you it was going to be a long night.

P.S.- Is that photo from your personal collection S2N? - AA

Hah, no. The magic of Google Image Search....

Selvin Young gets eight yards during a discussion of the weak Bronco O-line. Marshall brings in a Cutler pass at midfield for a first down. I truly believe the lack of Tom Nalen at center to a torn biceps has really screwed over the O-line, badly.

Did anybody else catch Tony saying "I don't ask many football questions?" Way to confirm your ineffectiveness in the booth, Tony. - MattyCB8

I'd like people who get big-time positions being analysts to at least like their sport. I'm not sure Tony likes football much. Cutler to Marshall for 28 yards with a quick slant and plenty of yards after the catch. Cutler goes for Javon Walker, but Cromartie has position on him in the end zone and it's incomplete. Other corner of the end zone is incomplete to Marshall, who's double covered. Cutler to Schieffler --- off the hands and INTERCEPTED by Clinton Hart, and brought back out to the 15...mitigated by a personal foul on safety Eric Weddle, who took a late hit on Cutler after the pick. Bolts ball....sigh.

Billy Volek fumbles the snap right off the bat and Denver has it back...thank you, Chargers second-stringers. Travis Henry gets stood up. Cutler incomplete to Marshall, thanks to Quentin Jammer. Cutler to Martinez is incomplete, and here comes kicker and first-time author Jason Elam....his kick is up and good, 23-3, Chargers. Jason Elam, the only positive to the Broncos' season, and keeps Mike Shanahan from ever being shut out as a coach.

Sproles carries for two yards, and they're talking about auditioning for Billy Volek, due to the suck that exists at QB in the NFL. Volek to Jackson screen goes nowhere, and he bounces a 3rd and 7 in the dirt.

"If that's an audition, you hope he gets more chances to sing and dance, because he hasn't been that good that far. If this were American Idol, they'd say, 'Thank you, that's enough.'" - TK
"Boy, and you talk to me about Arena League..." - Jaws
"Hey, it's a show I watch." - TK
"You're still on Simon's payroll or something." - Tirico

Cutler to Marshall for a first down, misses Schieffler on the next play, and was lucky he didn't get picked. Selvin Young gets not much, but Cutler gets a first and more on his own legs. 3rd quarter over, one more to go. One pass in, and Cutler runs again for a bunch with flags on the play. Both plays on the Chargers, will add five yards for defensive holding on the end of that 30+ yard run. Ball at the 11 of SD. Young grabs two more yards. Another pass for five or six, and it's probably a 3rd down run. Fullback Cecil Sapp won't have the first -- and he's stuffed again on 4th and 1. Turnover on downs.

Chargers burn clock on a 3 and out. Here comes Scifres to punt. Cutler's incomplete again, and there's got to be only so much time before Ramsey comes in. Going for it on 4th, and it's knocked down by Luis Castillo ('Roider #2, to Merriman's Roider #1). We got some nice little jawing going on between Cutler and Rivers. This is the first interesting thing about this game for me, as Rivers started the whole talking ish.

More pissed-off behavior in garbage time. Frankly, no other part of this is really interesting, although I would like to remind Rivers to not talk shit, especially because Tomlinson has carried his ass this season when he's been mired in suck.

Hm. 2 minute warning. I'm just going to call it 23-3, Chargers, and wish you all a Merry Christmas. See you Sunday for Titans-Colts.

Hiya, S2N here. Now, I realize I may have made a mistake by live-blogging on Christmas Eve, but I'll be your host for Broncos-Chargers (family is overrated and I'm working this week anyway.) Is there any particular reason why Parcells is still appearing on ESPN air after inking his Miami contract? Oh, wait -- verbal fellatio from the crew celebrating him! Gotcha.

Really? Barron Hilton named the Chargers for freaking credit cards?!?! I probably could have looked this up on Wikipedia, but am still shocked (pun not intended.)

He is so damn slimy. I can't believe ESPN would even let him on the air. Such whores. - Anon

Got a point -- Parcells used ESPN to negotiate with both Atlanta and Miami through the media, it looks like, and to have him back in this way for a farewell tour reeks of, well, rotten fish.

Mortensen: "The Raiders are having a respectable season this year," commenting on Warren Sapp's blow-up. If you call 4-11 respectable....well....yeah, the Raiders would call that respectable lately.

S2N, don't you know ESPN is required to have at least 500 former Cowboys on the show? - Mookie

Seriously, we eagerly anticipate the day when T.O. becomes an ESPN analyst after he hangs 'em up. I'm just gonna throw that out there and use the royal "we" because I suspect AA would be just as down for this from a blogging standpoint as I would be. I want T.O. squaring off with Skip Bayless on First Take every morning.

Parcells: "Steve, I'm looking for a good, solid quarterback, and I hate lefties. You know anyone who could fit the bill?"
Young: "Someone who will just stand still in the pocket, like a statue?"

It's 4/1 odds that Tuna brings Drew Bledsoe out of retirement, I say.

Just in time....they'd fight to the death. Colleen Dominguez is very hot BTW. - AA

Agreed. Colleen, it'd be once a day, twice on Sundays, and any other time you'd like.

Keyshawn just made some sort of weird grunting noise while recapping the Cowboys-Bills highlights that made up his moment of the year so far. I think he was trying to imitate Berman on the Nick Folk FG and failed.

Shawne Merriman's wife, if you didn't know, is a hottie. Damn.
----------------------------

I don't think I've watched the MNF open with Hank Williams, Jr. all year. Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy to have Michele Tafoya and Suzy Kolber in tight T-shirts doing the groupie-like, "Hiiiiii, Hank!"

That is an incredible montage of NORV! Face.

"Hannah Montana, then kickoff!" - MT. OH GOD NO. Thankfully, that was short and did not involve an actual musical performance. Broncos will have the ball first, and we've got kickoff -- Glenn Martinez busts it back to the 40 and is tackled by kicker Nate Kaeding. Selvin Young gets 2 on the first play, then drags about five defenders with him for the next eight and a first down. Cutler airs it out to TE Tony Schieffler for a first down at the 21. Young grabs three more on the next carry.

I get to watch Selvin Young and think, "Damn, we wasted money on Travis Henry and got not much but babydaddy drama and drug test drama in return." Incomplete to Brandon Marshall, and it's 3rd and 7. Cutler scrambles....and HE FUMBLES....Bolts recover. Damn it, the fucker's channeling Jake Plummer early today.

Chargers D-lineman Shaun Phillips on the SD defensive line-up: "We're gunna hit them in the mouth, Ike Turner style."

Wow. Way too soon, dude. Phil Rivers tosses to Vincent Jackson for a first down.

Hannah Montana tickets are upwards of $1000......Can someone explain to me why? - Anon

I think you have to have kids to be able to explain it first, and even then it's still hard to do -- I have co-workers with kids who can't justify it, and they got tickets to the show. Tomlinson crosses to the 36 yard line on his first carry. LDT gets across midfield for 16 yards. Did I mention that my favorite team's rush defense is the worst in the league? Guhhhh. Rivers misses LDT on the swing pass, and Lynch pops Tomlinson on the next play -- gets flagged for a helmet to helmet unsportsmanlike. Oof.

First down and 15 more, Bolts, within the Broncos 30.

"This is the NFC West...." - um, no it's not, Jaws.

Buster Davis runs the reverse for a few on first down. Stopped up on second, and Dre Bly makes a nice open-field tackle on third down to deny LDT a first on the screen pass. Nate Kaeding for the FG -- and it's good. 3-0, Bolts, and only giving up three is definitely a moral victory early.

Whoa....did John Lynch get into Romanowski's steroid stash? - AA

+1 to you. Heartfelt tribute to passed-away audio tech, and SD comes to kick it off...Glenn Martinez drags people out to the 33.

Wondering just why you would run a reverse on 2nd and long, and an offensive personal foul makes it 2rd and super-long. Nice play call, Rat Fink. Young rushes to get a few of those back. Screen pass to Young, and here comes a punt from Paul Ernster, who hasn't punted since being replaced by Todd Sauerbrun, who just got cut last week -- and it's an 18 yard shank. It's gonna be a long night.

"I hear how great he is, because he's not on television that much." - TK. Tony, your job is to write about sports. Either cough up for Sunday Ticket, or, maybe, watch your network's highlights shows before you spout about how Tomlinson is an "unknown."

Anyway, the Bolts are near the red zone, and Rivers tosses a checkdown to LT for some more yardage inside the 20 ---and it's BOOM, motherfucker, for LT, as he rushes for 18 to the left for the TOUCHDOWN! Kick is up, good, and it's 10-0, Chargers.

Ouch.

Travis Henry gets a decent rush after the kickoff, and Clinton Hart then shames Henry's attempt at pass blocking in a sack of Cutler. Cutler hits Schieffler on 3rd and 16 for a 1st and the 45. He goes downfield for Brandon Marshall on 2nd down. Luis Castillo plows Cutler on 3rd down, and hopefully Ernster can get more than 20 yards on a punt this time. Ernster's punt pins the Bolts at their own 1 yard line.

Oof....tracking Santa gimmicks. False start on the Chargers, and they move back about six inches.

"Late at night at the bars, I'm looking for reindeer too." - TK. Tomlinson gets a yard on first down. Rivers airs it out towards Vincent Jackson and Champ Bailey almost comes down with it -- why you throw against Bailey, I'll never know. Even if he's playing on a shitty team, you pick on the other corner. LDT turns a 3rd and 9 into a first down because he's awesome and no one on the Broncos knows how to tackle.

"Wouldn't you think other guys would wear that kind of visor if they wanted to be like him?" - TK. Um, it's a medical thing, Tony -- Tomlinson gets a waiver to wear that dark visor in the NFL. C'mon, do some homework. Rivers hits Chambers on the lean against Bailey. Rivers to the fullback is an incomplete, and then throws incomplete to Antonio Gates.

Cutler is like Travis Henry....he can't stay off the grass!! - Mookie

I know what you're getting at, but in every photo he takes, Jay Cutler looks like the biggest stoner you know, craving food for a bad case of the munchies. I always expect him to break into the Jim Breuer food rant from Half Baked at any time. "We need pizzas, two giant bottles of water, pizza, and FUNYONS."

Rivers is brought down on 3rd down while trying to get out of the pocket. Mike Scifres punting to Glenn Martinez...who fair catches at the Broncos 12. Cutler sacked for a third time tonight, for the second time by Shaun Phillips, and it's 3rd and 13.

“The tackle made by Jeff Mallard out of Oregon.”- Mike Tirico
“Did you mention that Jeff Mallard was out of Oregon?”- Tony Kornheiser
“I did….he’s from Georgia. Thanks for catching that.”- Mike Tirico
“That was unresistible if he was from Oregon.”- Tony Kornheiser (thanks, AA)

"They've become a bad football team over the course of the year." - TK. Gee, thanks, Captain Obvious, after an incomplete on 3rd and long....and Ernster missed the fucking ball on the punt. Chargers take over in Bronco territory. LDT is rushing for yardage.

From the radio broadcast:

Marv Albert: "I bet somewhere Todd Sauerbrun is smiling."
Boomer Esiason: "I bet Todd Sauerbrun is in jail right now. Sauerbrun is a meathead." (hat tip to Rick James Bible Owner)

Tony: "I wonder what Jessica Simpson's thinking right now."
Mike: "I do not care."
Jaws: "I'm with Mike on this one."
Tony: "I'm not Jessica'd out yet."

Ow ow ow ow ow ow. LDT gets 15 as the entire right side of the field is vacated by the Broncos biting on the fake. 1st and goal at the Broncos 5. Tomlinson has no hole on 1st and goal, he gets a couple yards on 2nd and goal from the six. Rivers throws incomplete to Jackson, and here comes Kaeding....FG is good, 13-0, Chargers.

Chargers kick off to Andre Hall...knocked out at the 35. Cutler is starting to engage in Favre-style gunslinging, and that one almost got picked.

"If they were all a quarterback, they'd have a zero rating right now, or what we call 'Rex numbers.'" OK, Tony, points for you there. That was good. Young can't get much, and the 3rd down pass is incomplete as Antonio Cromartie knocks it away. Ernster punts it away (just barely.) Mighty Mite Darren Sproles gets the carry this time and five yards. Rivers throws to Sproles for a first down and here's the 2 minute warning.

Two stuffed rushes, and a huge throw from Rivers to Jackson with two defenders around him. 1st down around the Denver 26. Rivers overthrows Gates in the end zone. Nate Webster just mashed Darren Sproles on 2nd down with a vicious hit. Rivers to Chambers over the middle for a 1st down near the 10. Probably a "throw end zone once, then kick" situation. Incomplete to Gates, here comes Kaeding again. FG is up....and good. 16-0, Chargers, at the half.

See you in the next thread.

Chris Berman has the highlight of the night so far. After recapping yesterday's games for 3 minutes he comes with this gem....

"Now for some Football news."- Chris Berman leading into the Roy Williams suspension.

Really? Isn't that all you EVER give us Berman??? Well that and the homerun derby.

13-6 at the start of the third....Vikings get the ball. Allison out to the thirteen. Peterson goes backwards on first down and Michele Tafoya's report from Brad Childress confuses everyone. Jackson tries the slant, but Tillman jumps the play and drops the interception. 3rd and 11....pressure on the blitz but Jackson gets it away to Allison.....he only gets three though. Vikings punt.....

Hester back to his own 30. He's got a return, but he jukes himself out and slips on the turf. Good field position for the Bears though.

That field position is immediately ruined by another Bears penalty. Peterson gets back near the original line of scrimmage. Pressure up the middle and Orton tosses it up in the air.....wow he got blasted by EJ Henderson. Another blitz on third down and Orton throws it into the ground. Bears punt....

Somehow the returner missed the punt and another Vikings player picked it up and ran it out to the 50. God this game is sloppy.

"What we're seeing is offense being set back about ten years with tonight's play."- Ron Jaworski

"Great penetration. I'm talking about 8 men in the box!"- Jaws (Via Hot Carl)

22 yard return is negated due to a fair catch signal and Urlacher runs untouched through the middle on first down. Sack. 2nd and 17.....Jackson to Wade for 9 and it'll be 3rd and 8.....

JACKSON TO FERGUSON!!!! He could go all the way! No!!! Down at the one....71 yards. Ferguson ran through about 8 Bears on that play.....

TOUCHDOWN VIKINGS.....Purple Jesus on the One Yarder......

13-13 tie.............nevermind Longwell kicked the worst Extra Point I've ever seen. Horrible snap and he hooked it left......

13-12 Bears.

Hester gets the bounce at the 30 and goes nowhere. Orton goes back to throw, but is sacked as he holds onto it too long. Coverage sack there....Jaws agrees. Loss of seven. Peterson on the draw gets 4 of it back and it'll be 3rd and 13....Vikings fans back in it.....Incomplete. Bears punt.

Game Leaders according to Yahoo! Game Channel:
J. McKie 1 Rush, 1 yd, I TD
R. Ferguson 2 Rec., 79 yds
(Via Hanrahan

Ugh. Vikings ball at their own 26. Jackson over the middle......

PICKED!!!!!!! McGown was right there. Bears ball at the Vikings' 48. Run up the middle for nothing is followed by another run for a few. 3rd and 4. Screen to Hester and he's not going anywhere. These are seriously two of the worst offenses I've ever seen. Bears punt.....and it's horrible. 22 yards.

Peterson runs for two on first down, Peterson runs for zero on second down, and it's third and long. Urlacher up the middle again!! Another sack. He's about the only player trying tonight. Vikings punt.

Hester on the return.....picks up a few blocks down at the 50. 16 yard return. God he is amazing. Even when he doesn't pick up a ton of yards it's an adventure.

Orton is sacked on first down, but that's negated by a holding penalty on the Vikings. First down....Peterson up the middle for a yard, but there's another penalty! Unnecessary Roughness on a Chicago lineman and that'll make it 2nd and 24. Orton to Peterson....breaks a tackle and gets back most of the yardage from the penalty. 3rd and 6.....

Peterson on the draw.....oooh close. About a half yard short. 4th down. Going for it. Play action!!!!! Wow....that was a horrible throw. McKie was wide open and Orton just missed him completely. Just run it.

"This is tough....I agree."- Jaws to Kornheiser

Peterson gets loose! 15 yards on first down....great run. Vikings ball at midfield....Peterson again and he picks up 4, but inexplicably runs backwards and gains zippy. Taylor gets the ball on 2nd down and makes a few people miss. It'll be 3rd and 1 when we start the 4th quarter.

13-12 Bears after three. Someone please end this game.

3rd and short and Peterson is stopped! The spot looks to be about a half yard short. Vikings are going for it. QB sneak gets it for the Vikes. 1st down at the Bears 39. Play Action to Bobby Wade gets another first down, and that was the easiest play I've ever seen....Jackson could have thrown that behind his back over the middle.

Peterson to the left picks up about seven. Jackson fakes the pitch to Peterson and runs an option the opposite direction. He takes it himself down to the five....first down. The Bears seemed to know the snap count and Peterson is swallowed up for a three yard loss. 2nd and goal from the 8....Charles Tillman is still down after a commercial break and that's not good.

Back to the action....play action and Jackson is shoved out of bounds. And now he's hurt. Here come Bollinger!!! 3rd and Goal. Timeout.

TOUCHDOWN VIKINGS!!! How the hell did that happen?!?!?! Bollinger completely messed up the handoff and somehow the rookie juked out the Bears D. Unbelievable. Vikings go for two......Bollinger sneaks it in!!!!!! What the hell?!?!

20-13 Vikings.

"Welcome to Monday Night Football where Kyle Orton and Brooks Bollinger are your Quarterbacks."- Tony Kornheiser

Hester returns it out to almost midfield but a penalty is bringing it back. 1st down Bears....10:50 left. Play action and Garrett Wolfe makes a nice move to pick up nice. Wolfe again and that's a first down. Orton hits Berrian for a first down and then follows it with another to Olsen. Bears ball at the Vikes 40....

Wolfe is still in....and they screen to him....incomplete. That didn't work, so what do they do? Run the same play again....it's like me in Madden. Wolfe goes nowhere. 3rd and 9......Timeout Bears.

Incomplete....Orton hit as he throws. Flag on the play....Intentional grounding??? No way. He had someone hanging on his leg. Bears punt......and it's a great one. Downed at the two.

Tavaris Jackson comes back in. And just when everyone writes off Purple Jesus he rips off a 28 yarder. Peterson again for 2 yards....2nd and 8. Wade makes a catch for 7 and it'll be 3rd and 1. Richardson picks up the first....5 minutes left.

If Ron Turner is French for "John Shoop," then Lovie Smith is French for "Dave Wannstedt." (Via PM)

Peterson loses two on first down. Jackson hits Dugans for no gain on a rollout and the Bears call timeout. 3rd and 10. Draw to Chester Taylor, and he almost picks up the first down. How the hell do you not see that coming? Just short. Jaws says punt....I say go for it.

"If this is inbounds they're looking for a new punter."- Ron Jaworski

Amen. The Vikings take the 5 yards and they're kicking with 2:56 left. Hester at his own 15.....he picks it up on the bounce, but because of the rush he has zero blocking. Well here's the game....as crappy as it's been....

Orton to Olsen for about 5....clock is running. Muhammad makes a nice catch on the out as Gordon tried to make the pick...19 yards and he gets out of bounds. Orton to Hester for ten yards and that's another first down at the 45.....2 minute warning.

Just in time for the two minute drill. From reader Kyle.....

I wish my high school gave out letters for this: Kyle Orton attended Southeast Polk High School in Pleasant Hill, Iowa, where he lettered in football, basketball, and tennis and gross moustaches.
-Kyle Orton's wikipedia page.

1st and 10....Orton hit, and it's incomplete. Orton goes deep to Berrian!!!!!! PICKED OFF BY SHARPER!!!!! Great play by the safety.....horrible throw by Orton who had Berrian breaking to the post and I hate the Bears.

Wow......what a crappy game. I think that was worse than the 3-0 Pittsburgh/Miami game. Anyway, thanks for joining me folks. You're commenting is greatly appreciated. I'll see you Thursday for either the Bowl Game or the Pittsburgh-St. Louis game. We'll probably have a vote tomorrow.

20-13 Vikes win it.

I was thinking about it and the only game I've seen this year involving Purple Jesus was the preseason game where he ran all over the New York Jets. Well that'll change tonight. Hope you can join in the fun!

I'll be throwing some of the pregame quotes in this spot before getting into the game a little after 8pm.

SPREAD: Vikings -10.5, O/U 43.5

Wow Sal Pal is still leading the group in the Dome. Seriously Stu....I hope you're recovering okay. Never want to see anyone that sick. Isn't that a Month now?

"Plus you go back to Terrell Owens and my situation last week, and you go out and have a bad game. And you look at Jessica Simpson."- Keyshawn Johnson

I was wondering how long it would take Keyshawn to take credit for T.O.'s bad game.

"Do you think the Cowboys could beat in the Championship game Green Bay in Green Bay?"- Tom Jackson
"It's an interesting question if it comes up."- Chris Berman

Umm....it just did come up Chris. Way to change the subject.

"The Bears will drop 8 in the box."- Emmitt Smith

Don't you have to "add" people into the box, and not drop people from it to stop the run? And he wishes his wife Happy B-day. That was nice.

Ooh Breaking News from Mort. Roy Williams suspended one-game for the Horse Collar tackle on McNabb. Couldn't they make that two so he'd be out for Week 17 against the Skins?

"You don't watch the cheerleaders when you're on the sidelines. You pay attention to the game."- Steve Young on Kyle Orton's role as a backup.

Call me crazy, but I didn't see Trent Green in the Pregame. Oh well.
_______________________________

We're about to kick this thing off, but first John C. Reilly sings is in with "Block Hard". Wow....that was special. Bears ball and Hester gets it out to the 40. Kyle Orton leads them out.

"The Bears Peterson a Journeyman Running Back."- Mike Tirico

Is it possible to be a journeyman if you've played for the same team your entire career? (Via Matt)

Screen to the other Adrian Peterson picks up 5. Orton throws to AP on an out again but that gets sniffed out by pothead Dwight Smith. Devin Hester on the reverse! He can't get away from Winfield. Great tackle. Bears punt.....

Wade fair catches it at the five. P.Jesus picks up a good gain of 6 on first down, and an offsides on the Bears gives the Vikes a first. Jackson throws to Ferguson....

PICKED OFF! Urlacher grabs it out of the air after the Ferguson drop. First down for the Bears at the Vikings 13....

Make that 18. False start on the Bears. Orton to G-Reg Olsen in the endzone! Incomplete. 2nd and 15.....another false start! 2nd and 20. A couple of short passes and Robbie Gould comes out for the FG.....

GOOD! 3-0 Bears.

"The two franchises could be passing like ships in the night."- Steve Young

... I was waiting for the next guy to say, 'except the Vikings ship is full of strippers.' I'm still disappointed no one was on top of that. (Via Chase)

Allison tries to mount a return, but he goes nowhere....Vikings ball at their 12. Jackson is nailed by Urlacher but he hits Wade for five. Peterson then picks up the first down.

As a sidenote, your earlier post was right. "Duel" is a horrible, horrible show. (Via Chase)

Good to know. I may check it out tomorrow.

Jackson to Wade nets another first down, and they run Peterson on for a yard. 2nd and 9.....Taylor runs for a few and makes it 3rd and 4. Screen pass to Peterson for 16 yards....nice play and Peterson loses his shoe. First down Vikings....

Jackson to Wade again and that was too easy for Tavaris. Another first down at the 22.

FUMBLE!!!! Jackson and Peterson fumble the exchange.....Urlacher gets the recovery.

Bears ball at their 22. Orton hits Peterson for about five and that looks to be the only receiver he's looking for tonight. Peterson on the draw and it'll be 3rd and short. Play action but Orton has to throw it away.....Clark was held and couldn't get out in the flat. Bears punt.

Wade gets it at the 35 and is taken down there. Taylor gets 5 and a half and there's some extra shoving after the play. Taylor makes it 3rd and short, but there's a hold on Wade that will bring that back. 2nd and 15....Jackson hits the FB Richardson for 9 and it'll be 3rd and six....Incomplete. Vikings punt.....Hester back to return.

Hester takes it out from the endzone on the angled punt and fakes a reverse....FUMBLES! It rolls about 20 yards and right out of bounds. Bears ball at their own three. The most exciting thing all game.

Wolfe gets the carry up the middle and that's not going anywhere. Back to the one. Why would you run a tiny back up the middle that close to the endzone? Play action and Orton throws it to nobody. Peterson picks up one yard and the Bears will punt it from their own endzone.

Wade brings it out past the 50, but a block in the back penalty brings it back into Vikings territory. 1st and 10 from 38.

Purple Jesus gets knocked down for a loss and that's the end of an exciting 1st quarter.....3-0 Bears. Random shot of Grossman in there and what the hell is he doing? He's talking to some guy and dancing around. Weird.

Peterson again for nothing and it'll be 3rd and long. Jacskon hits Taylor but he's a yard short. 4th down and the Vikings punt (this seems to be a theme)....Hester doesn't get a shot at this one as they punt it out of bounds at the 13.

Orton almost throws a pick on first down and a pitch to Wolfe that gets only two makes it 3rd and Long.

"Did I see Will Ferrell's name in there?"- Tony Kornheiser on all of the Bears QBs since Jim McMahon

Hester gets a pass from Orton on the sidelines and he is judged to be pushed out. No....incomplete. He didn't have it to the ground. Bears punt...

Play action and Jackson tries to hit his TE....incomplete. Tirico says it was a good throw, but it wasn't good at all. Jackson gets nailed late, but completes the ball anyway. Lance "Ferrari" Briggs just roughed him up. The Viking get a 1st down all the way at the Bears 29.

Peterson goes nowhere on first and Jackson follow that up with a pass to Richardson for 4. 3rd and about 5....Incomplete. Jackson had Sidney Rice, but he had his arm hit when he threw. Longwell for a 42 yard FG....

GOOD. 3-3....we've got a barn burner.

The Vikings squib away from Hester and Davis instead takes it into Vikings territory. 33 yard return. Bears ball at the 44. 1st down......ANOTHER PENALTY. Good lord. No first downs for the Bears. Screen to Hester and he runs about 40 yards to pick up 11. Crazy run. Orton to Peterson makes it 3rd and short....

Orton tries to sneak it and he is nowhere near the first. It'll be 4th and a yard. Bears go for it.....

Orton sneaks and it'll be close. Nope he's got it. First down Bears....their first of the night! Orton hits Hester on the slant for nine and the Bears go no huddle. pitch to Peterson and he gets nailed by Winfield....he's everywhere tonight. 3rd and 1......Orton misses Hester on the slant and that was behind him on that one.

4th and 1 and the Bears are going again. Wait.....another penalty. 12-men breaking the huddle.....they'll try a 47 yarder....

Gould nails it! 6-3 Bears.

"He is Gold."- Ron Jaworski
"Who's your writer? Who said there's a writer's strike?- Mike Tirico

Allison on the return and he looked like he wanted to throw a lateral, but he hangs on to it. Peterson gets zippy on first down and he just can't get it going, and just as I say that he picks up seven. 3rd and 4...complete. Jackson to Ferguson on the slant...first down.

Play action on first down and Jackson hits the TE Kleinsasser for 26 yards up the middle. First down at the Bears 44. Timeout Vikings. Reverse to Allison but Vasher is having none of that. 2nd and 10.....Jackson to Dugans and it'll be 3rd and 7 from the Chicago 41. Jackson throws behind Taylor on the screen and Minnesota is punting.....again....

Out of bounds at the nine. Another nice punt from the Vikes. Orton hits Berrian for seven on first down and it looks like the Bears are going to try and do something with this. Or they'll just fumble the snap. Orton recovers and that's the 2 minute warning. 3rd and 5 and Orton hits Peterson for the first.

Mark Bradley gets the screen on first down and picks up 14....no huddle. Screen to Peterson and Ced Griffin wraps him up for a small gain. Timeout Bears. 2nd and 6 and Orton is going deep to Berrian! Incomplete....nowhere near him. Vikings blitz and Orton throws high and the pass is dropped. Bears punt.....into the endzone.

That should probably do it for the half. Vikings come out throwing though, but Jackson's pass is batted down. Jackson looks deep over the middle....

PICKED OFF BY VASHER! He takes it all the way back to the 12....43 seconds left. Horrible decision from Tavaris Jackson there.

"On Vasher.....On Prancer!"- Mike Tirico

TOUCHDOWN BEARS! Orton to Muhammad on the slant. Beautiful throw. Hold up....there's a challenge. He might have been down at the one. Overturned. 1st and Goal from the half yard line.

TOUCHDOWN BEARS! McKie the Fullback up the middle. That one's not being challenged.....

13-3 Bears. 30 seconds left in the half.

Allison out to the 27 yard line. Incomplete on first down, and Jackson scrambles on 2nd down to pick up the first down. And a dumb late hit on Tillman brings the ball all the way to the Bears 41. Close call there. Sidney Rice catches it down to the 30 and the Vikings use their last timeout with 4 ticks left. FG Attempt for Longwell.....

GOOD! 13-6 at the half. Dumb penalty there...that makes it a one score game.

I waited a bit to post this because the only video out there had some bad audio, but luckily reader Adam came through for us. Here's the Arthur Blank "Fried Chicken" comment from last night....

Talk about a poor choice of words. I honestly don't think he meant it in the way everyone thinks he did, but he could have just gone with Grilled Cheese and been okay. As far as Roddy White....I can understand a teammate wanting to show support, but couldn't he have done it with a "We Love You Mike Vick" shirt instead of the one he chose?

Falcons WRs Think Vick Should Be Freed? Really? (The Sporting Blog)

Our Mike Vick count sits at 12 after Halftime and our score is 17-7. If the Vick count finishes with more than the total points of this game I'm quitting.

I'll see you after PTI at the Half.

"The beatboxer! Blake Lewis!!!"- Tony Kornheiser
"Is that who that was?"- Mike Tirico
"Lost to Jordan in the Finals."- TK
"Of ?"- MT
"American Idol?"- TK
"Oh okay."- MT
"No the NCAA Regional at Louisville."- TK

Ah this is why I watch every week. Saints ball to start the half and they pick up a quick first down. Brees to Moore for seven on first down, Stecker then runs outside for 17 yards and another first down. Incomplete on first and a run for a few on second, 3rd and five......

Screen to Patten and another first down. Great play for 17 yards. Carney for 8 yards on the first down play action and Stecker picks up the first down. First and Goal Saints. Stecker down to the two.....2nd and Goal....

TOUCHDOWN SAINTS......Brees to Colston on a neat little slant and turn.

24-7 Saints.

I see they're bored with Michael Vick already and they've returned to the Katrina story angle. (Via Ice Cole)

I don't care what angle they go with as long as I hear more of that hot Blake Lewis album!

FYI- Brees is 25-33 for 284 yards and 3 TDs. The Saints would like to play the Falcons every week for the rest of the season.

Jenkins drops it! HARPER TO THE HOUSE!!! Pick 6 for the Saints.....

31-7.

Atlanta is driving, but I think I may have dozed off.

Mike Vick Count: 13

Crumpler gets a catch and makes it 3rd and 2.

"3rd and longs as they're facing now."- Tony Kornheiser as the screen reads 3rd and 2. 4th down and the Falcons go for it....

First down on the run up the middle. Mike Vick Count: 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Redman throws to Roddy White in single coverage and White just gave up on the ball. Ladies and Gentlemen your 2007 Atlanta Falcons. Steve Young is in the booth again for the Mike Vick talk....I'll continue the count.....

Vick Count: 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30,

Meanwhile the Falcons are putting together a nice drive. You really don't have to say the name "Mike Vick" every time you mention him....we get who you're talking about. A 4th down incomplete pass gives the ball over to the Saints....

"3rd and longs as they're facing now."- Tony Kornheiser as the screen reads 3rd and 2. Tony said 3rd and 1, not 3rd and long (Via Anon)

Sorry but you're wrong. I went back and he said "3rd and longs." Thanks for commenting though....I need them.

Start of the 4th quarter.....Saints punt. Norwood picks up a huge gain of 45 yards and the Falcons are into Saints territory.

Jaws and Young are talking about Reggie Bush and I don't care what they're saying one bit. Norwood for a first down, but Joe Horn was holding on the play. 4th down and 10 for the Falcons and they throw a 5 yard pass over the middle. Why even play if you're going to throw that crap?

It appears the whole 4th quarter will be about Reggie Bush and how he becomes a Pro.

"And just a yard by Thomas Stecker."- Mike Tirico

Not his name. Saints punt.

As a Falcons fan since 1970, I've seen my share of pathetic teams and pathetic performances- but I don't remember many worse than this one. (Via Johnny B)

They really aren't playing that bad....the play calling has just turned to shit after the first Touchdown.

Redman fumbles after a play action hit, and he's sacked on 3rd down. Falcons punt again.

"He also had Brian's son, Brian's Brother excuse me on the staff."- Mike Tirico on Brian Brohm

Funny mistake.

Falcons recover a fumble on the punt and they're in the Red Zone!!!

TOUCHDOWN FALCONS!!!!!!!! Redman to Jenkins!

31-14.

"How about that fan....he was very excited. Sampling the egg nog at the Holiday Party on the way over."- Mike Tirico

Great shot of Falcons fans who put their glittery Falcons face logo on in the mirror. How can I tell? It's on backwards.

Mike Vick Count: 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41,

Saints are driving by the way.

"You mean the Longest Yard wasn't real?"- Ron Jaworski

That was actually pretty funny.

"You don't want to play this team in the Playoffs if they get to the Playoffs."- Ron Jaworski

Umm, yes I do. They suck. Saints o