I Wish I Could Quit You Dirk

Friday, May 26, 2006

Sorry to all five of you....I know that your lives revolve around my articles. I know it's been a few days, but here's a new one for you.

Lost, House, and 24's Seasons ended this week, and I'm not sure which one was the best. Lost got pretty trippy there for a bit, and was exciting, but I'm even more confused than ever. House apparently got shot, and Jack Bauer saved the day but got snagged by the Chinese. Actually I know which finale was the best.....American Idol. Er, at least that's what the subliminal message during a Coke (or Ford) commercial told me.

3 Game Sevens happened as well.....but you've probably already read Bill Simmons' take on them and I have nothing to add. (Apparently he thinks Steve Nash shouldn't be MVP. He's only said it 49 times in his last three articles.)

...and two Road teams won each of the Game 1's in the Conference Finals. I would talk about the Eastern Conference, but they S-U-C-K. So I'm going to talk about the Western Conference Finals...

Borris Diaw is just plain sick. The kid can play every position on the court and is only 23. I am completely convinced that Atlanta is purgatory for an NBA player. The best part of these finals is the battle between two ex-Teammates (and they're white!) Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki. I really think these to are in a relationship and they will come out long after their playing days, but until then we have pictures like these to get us by.

Seriously, how gay is this picture? Now they are playing in the same city every night! Some Double Tree employee somewhere needs to provide me with some stories....I want to break the news here first!

Next report to come from North Carolina! Have a good holiday......until then, enjoy being hypnotized by Steve Nash's tie. (Oh how our boy has grown!)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 1:26 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Mike Brown's Chapstick

Monday, May 22, 2006

One more point on the Cavs Game 7.....Coach Mike Brown had out-coached Flip Salters (what Hubie Brown called him. A mishmash of Flip Saunders and Sideline Reporter Lisa Salters) for the entire series. Right at the start of the 2nd half the camera showed Mike Brown vigorously putting Chapstick on. He went around his lips about nine times before stopping and going to put the Chapstick back in his pocket. But for some reason that wasn't enough, and he started Round 2 as the camera panned away. I mention this not because his attention to his dry lips made the Cavs come out sluggish, but he apparently is the only person on earth who uses more Chapstick then I do.

I had a running favorite for awful call of the week, but then it got surpassed Sunday by my favorite (sarcastic) person in the world...Christopher Berman.

Boomer's nicknames over the years used to be clever and kind of funny at times, but I think he's given up trying. The nicknames are often puns on the players' names or pop-culture references, such as Bert "Be Home" Blyleven (as in "be home by eleven") and Barry "U.S." Bonds (based on rhythm and blues musician Gary "U.S." Bonds). Among the more outlandish are Jose "Won't You Let Me Take You on a Sea" Cruz, Jake "Daylight Come, and You Gotta" Delhomme and Scott "Supercalifragilisticexpiali-" Brosius. All of those are okay, but he made those up over 5-10 years ago. Here are his two latest contributions:

Mike "You're in Good Hands with" Alstott


Scott "Rock the" Kazmir

The make almost zero sense and made me want to throw something at the television screen. Along with this crappy nicknames he has his awful Swami segment during football season in which he's a combined 3-93 over the past 6 seasons. The highlight of last season for me was not the Redskins winning a playoff game, but when he almost coughed up a lung trying to say Rah ha ha ha hey Ders.

Here is Christopher obviously drunk at the ESPYs. (And don't worry....I'll have a running Diary of the ESPYs this year. That's Comedy Gold.)

On top of all that he is the host of the Home Run Derby every year. My all-time favorite Berman moment came when Piazza and Schilling were hosting with him, and Sammy Sosa was flailing at pitches. Schilling turns to Piazza and starts doing his impression of Sammy. "Beezbal hasbeen berry berry goo to meh" Spot on impression from Schil. Well Piazza starts cracking up and they are both doing the impression as Slammin' Sammy puts up another stellar 4 Homers in a round. Berman says on air, "Guys, Come on, quiet down. We're doing a broadcast here." There is dead silence for 3 seconds and then uproarous laughter from Schilling. Even when he's not trying he's a dick, and he wouldn't know funny if it kicked him his Rumblin' Stumblin' Bumblin' ass.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 4:52 PM 2 Comments Links to this post

OG Bobby Johnson

Sunday, May 21, 2006

I feel really awful that Larry Hughes' brother passed away, but I hope he realizes what the tear under the eye stands for. The 1992 movie South Central taught us all that only those who are straight Deuce can sport this type of ink.

Since I love using wikipedia so much here is what it says about the tear tattoo: The tear tattoo is symbolic tattoo that is placed underneath one's eye to create the impression that the individual is crying. This tattoo has multiple, regionally-variant meanings. Oftentimes, it signifies that an individual has killed another person, particularly while in prison; at other times, it means that a family member, friend, or fellow gang member has died or been killed. The tear tattoo is often associated with thugs, convicts, and gang members.

I am aware that Hughes is from St. Louis, but that last sentence is a little telling isn't it? As Julius Hodge will attest, it's a crazy world out there Mr. Hughes. Be careful.

And while we are on the Cavs......what an awful second half showing they had in Detroit. In the first half Lebron was getting to the basket at will. Well in the second half, the Pistons began doubling him if he brought the ball up the court to get it out of his hands. For some reason, with the smaller Prince on him, Bron Bron could not get the ball back at all. He only had 1 second half FG.....that's right.....One. And the Cavs scored a whopping 23 total points.

I know that Jordan had not won a playoff series at the same age, but I just don't see that killer instinct in Lebron. Doing it against the defensive shumcks the Wizards is one thing, but not capitalizing against the defending Eastern Conference champs is an opportunity he can't mess up. Tough to live up to those standards, but that's what you get when you wear a Livestrong bracelet with your own name on it.

Side Note to the Cavs and Danny Ferry: You really need to get the kid some help....and quick. Lebron is a free agent in 2 years, and what have you given him? Z's knees are almost done, Marshall is old as hell, Damon Jones is non-existent for 95% of the season, Eric Snow is slowing down, and the one signing that was supposed to save the team, Mr. Hughes missed 45 games this year. With no one in next year's free agency pool (highlighted by Ben Wallace, Jason Terry, Stojakovic, Al Harrington, and Mike James [who?] Mike James) the Cavs will have to pull some magic to keep King James playing in the Quicken Loans Arena. The summer of 2007 will be the turning point for some of these teams that are getting ousted in the 1st and 2nd rounds. The 2007 Class could feature the names of: Paul Pierce, Chauncey Billups, Mike Bibby, Dirk Nowitzki, Vince Carter and Rashard Lewis.

I'll be back later with the awfulness.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 9:13 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Steve Nash=Bill Russell

Friday, May 19, 2006

So apparently all the drugs Bill Walton has taken at Greatful Dead shows over the years have finally caught up to him. During the first half of the Suns/Clippers game last night he threw out this masterpiece, "Steve Nash and Bill Russell are the same person." What does that even mean? My first thought was obviously that Bill Russell was an African American Center and Steve Nash is a White Point Guard, but Bill goes into further detail....."They are both MVPs, They both went to small West Coast Colleges, both only got one scholarship offer, and they both came from tough environments."

Wait a tic? Okay let's break this down.....Bill Russell was born in Monroe, LA. Now I've never been to the lovely town of Monroe, but let's trust Mr. Walton for a second and believe that it was rough for Russell. Nash grew up in Victoria, British Columbia!!!! (That's in Canada for those not into Geography) Nash was born in Johannesburg, South Africa, but moved when he was three. But everyone and their mother knows Nash is from Canada right?

This comes from Wikipedia: His father John Nash was a minor league professional soccer player in South Africa. His brother Martin Nash has made 30 appearances for the Canadian national soccer team. His sister Joann was the captain of the University of Victoria soccer team for three years. Nash had decided to focus on basketball in his early teens, but still played soccer through high school, and was named British Columbia player of the year in soccer as well as basketball in his senior year. Soccer continues to be an important part of Nash's life. In fact, when Dirk Nowitzki arrived in the NBA from Germany, he and Nash became close friends, in part because they enjoyed watching soccer together. In addition to soccer, Nash excelled at hockey and lacrosse as a child.

The post-World War II years saw Vancouver and Victoria also become cultural centres as poets, authors, artists, musicians, as well as dancers, actors, and haute cuisine chefs flocked to the beautiful scenery and warmer temperatures. Similarly, these cities have either attracted or given rise to their own noteworthy academics, commentators, and creative thinkers. Tourism also began to play an important role in the economy. The rise of Japan and other Pacific economies was a great boost to the BC economy.British Columbia has a robust resource dominated economy. Unemployment is currently at a 30-year low of 5.2%.

Wow that sounds like a rough life!!! His parents were awful to take him away from the apartheid in South Africa. They should be reported! I'm outraged! In order of rough places to live it's
1) Compton 2) Detroit 3) British Columbia 4) Brooklyn, NY 5) Camden, NJ

It's tough to make fun of William Theodore Walton III when he has such amazing catchphases as "That's a terrible call!", "What is a foul?", and "Throw it down, big man!", "Nice Pass!" (and the fact that his stuttering made him a mute growing up http://www.billwalton.com/stuttering.html), but seriously....come on. The fact that he argued the point makes it even more ridiculous.

Side Note: When I was looking up Bill Russell's Bio this nugget caught my attention. "Russell Guest starred on the television series Miami Vice as a corrupt judge. " Now that's a cameo!

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 4:22 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Difusing Bombs in the DMZ

***Spoiler Alert*** For those of you who TIVO'd the OC last night (I know it's a ton of you) do not read the next sentence.......Mischa Barton Died!!! Not exactly a Donna Martin Graduates moment but it was still entertaining. Also That 70's Show ended as well. Don't know how I got caught up in watching that finale, but if you didn't see it.....good, because it was horrible.

Not to get off on a Bill Simmons'esque tangent about TV here, but seriously....what the hell is wrong with it? I really feel like I'm being brainwashed into believing that The Sopranos, Entourage, Will & Grace, According to Jim, and up until recently Everybody Loves Raymond are good shows. Seriously, That 70's Show was on for 8 years! 8 Years!! King of Queens has been on for 8 years as well, ELR was on for 10?!? Okay, who do you know that watched Raymond? I know a total of zero. The only shows worth watching are the ones that are utterly ridiculous....like The OC. The title of this article comes from a comment in the show. Apparently the Valedictorian on the show is moving to Korea to "Difuse Bombs in the DMZ". That's just an absolutely ridiculous statement, but I laughed unlike I would if I was watching KOQ or ELR.

Be back later with our Announcer of the night....one William Theodore Walton.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:40 PM 1 Comments Links to this post

The Mamba Invades TNT

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I missed most of the CAVS/Pistons game last night but apparently it was a Barn Barner (that's what Chuck Barkley calls it). The late night game was a good one as Dallas managed to turn the ball over 3 times in the last 1:30, and blew a chance to take the series. The announcing in the second was actually pretty good. Marv "The Perv" Albert is always stellar and rarely makes mistakes, and Steve Kerr is actually a good color comentator. The only awful thing is seeing Ms. Reggie Miller (Cheryl) stalking the sidelines. She's really not that bad and asks easy boring questions....unlike Jim Gray.....but I just can't stand to look at her.

The highlight of the night was supposed to be one Kobe Bean Bryant (i'm not kidding that's really his middle name) in Studio for the Halftime and Post Game shows on TNT. The Mamba was supposedly going to respond to Charles Barkley's criticism of him in Game 7 of the Phoenix series. Just to recap Barkley called Kobe "selfish" for not shooting more in the second half (he had 3 shots 0 points). Apparently after the show Kobe and Barkley texted back and forth about the game.

Well the conversation was less than exciting. I would actually compare it to watching paint dry, but here's an excerpt, "We had a strategy that worked very well for us in three games," Bryant said. "We tried to keep the strategy going in Game 7, and the other games as well, but it didn't work for us. But we're out there to try and win, so to label me as being selfish is something I had to take up with Charles." Chuck Barkley then said that the stategy obviously wasn't working and they were done with it.

The good stuff started after all of the games were done and the highlights began. Apparently after the Cavs won Uber-Douche Anderson Varejao, in celebratory mode, popped his teammate Damon "I was the most worthless Free Agent Signing in the Offseason" Jones right in the grill. I couldn't find a pic or video of the hit, but trust me it was hilarious. Damon Jones looked like he was going to cry. (Since I can't find a photo please enjoy this shot of Guaran-Sheed instead.)

Well the best part was after TNT showed the highlight, and Ernie Johnson was taking them to commercial. Kenny "The Original Jet" (apparently Jason Terry likes to steal nicknames) starts to say that was a nice punch. Kobe jumps in and exclaims, "Hah, that was a nice sucker punch!" This is coming from the guy who was quoted as saying he's the Black Mamba and he wants to kill everyone.

Side Note: I know Kyra Sedgwick is the wife of Kevin Bacon but can someone please get her a normal role in a normal movie? I was watching the 19,885th ad for the Closer and it got me thinking about movies that she was in. And I could only think of one....Secondhand Lions. Before you judge, watch the movie, it's good. Anyways, I did some research, and in order here are her movies starting from 2000: Labor Pains, What's Cooking, Hudson's Law, Personal Velocity: Three Portraits, Door to Door, Just a Kiss, Behind the RedDoor, Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman, The Woodsman, Cavedweller, Something the Lord Made, and Loverboy. That's Six Degrees of Crap right there.

So minus the Kobe comment, Damon Jones getting punched in the head, and Rasheed looking like a tard there really isn't much to say. Oh besides this, which I will give the quote of the day nod to. Charles, Kenny, and Kobe were talking about players they knew they would have good games against.
Good ole' Chuck turned the question around and said, "Some guys I know I would kill, but you know who I could never play against? Popeye Jones"
That is this handsome fellow right here, and a candidate for the Kurt Busch ear staple surgery.

Kobe actually makes a good host, but he's way too serious. In fact he's so serious I can't take him seriously. At the end of the show he stated that the reason he's changing his number from 8 to 24 because it was the first number he wore when he came over from Italy, and also because he wants to "Dominate, 24/7". When he used the word Dominate all I could think about is that poor girl in Colorado and I well up and have to take deep breaths and go for a walk. Poor, Poor little girl. The Mamba has struckith again.....and will continue to do so......24/7.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:57 AM 3 Comments Links to this post

Doug Collins vs. Paula Abdul

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

In the previous post I said Doug Collins is quickly becoming one of my most hated people. Let me elaborate a little.....I still blame him and one Michael Jeffery Jordan for making one of my first jobs out of college dreadful. The two of them single, rather double-handedly put the Washington Wizards in a tailspin they are just now getting out of.

I had to watch a lineup of Jordan, Jerry Stackhouse, Tyronn Lue, Christian Laettner, Byron Russell, and Charles Oakley struggle to try to make the playoffs each year. Well I got a sales job with the Wizards the year after Jordan was forced out and Gilbert Arenas came in. Over 75% of the calls I made to previous "fans" explained that they would no longer support the team because of the way Jordan was "treated". I would literally get in arguments on the phone with them because I would say I would rather take a playoff series than watch an over the hill legend limp around the court. This point is evidenced by two games I went to.....

1) Jordan's third to last game against the Hawks. Jordan had 17 points, but the key was he had a shot at the buzzer to win the game. I remember him getting a wide open look at the FT Line and thinking this would be a defining moment in my Sports Life. Well Jordan bricked that last shot and everyone in attendance felt like they missed something great. They had just lost to the lowly Hawks 101-100, and would proceed to lost to the Knicks and Sixers to close out the season. (In his last game Jordan scored 15 in a loss to the Sixers)

2) Game 6 of the 1st Round Playoff series last year against the Bulls. Besides seeing Walt Williams beat the #7 Tarheels with a buzzer beater courtside, and George Mason beating UConn, this is the most exciting game i've seen live. Somehow Hinrich threw an inbounds pass off of Chris Duhon's back (I sense a theme of Duke F-ups in the NBA) and Jared Jeffries raced down court for a two hand slam. The Bulls then ran a play for Nocioni and he missed a three, Tyson Chandler idiotically took a 2-point shot, and then came the most beautiful sight.....Gilbert Arenas (the same man who I argued to those asses would lead the Wizards to playoffs) grabbed the rebound and threw the ball into the crowd. As confetti flooded the Phone Booth's (MCI Center) floor and fireworks exploded as the buzzer sounded I just started hugging random fans in the upper deck. (My favorite random stat of the game is that Lawrence Funderburke had 2 points in 8 minutes of play....I have no idea how L Fun got playing time in the playoffs)

Now which of those games sounds like it was more fun? There take that random Wizards bandwagon fans!!! And take that Douglas Collins and MJJ! Okay I feel better now......on to the Awful Announcing.

I'm going to count these down in Letterman format....but my Top 10 will actually be funny. But first a little background on our announcer-du-jour Mr. Paul Douglas Collins. Before Dougie got Hair Plugs and dyed his hair Blonde (seriously wtf!?!), he was most notably remembered for being one of the best players for the 1972 United States national basketball team. The United States was undefeated in Olympic basketball competition history, and widely expected to remain undefeated after these Olympics. After Collins had hit two clutch free throws, the time had apparently expired in the gold medal game; the United States had a 50-49 lead and seemed to have secured yet another gold medal. However, in a very controversial move, it was decided by the game's referees that there were still three seconds left to play, allowing the Soviet Union to have one more chance, which they utilized to make a lay-up, and give the United States its first ever Olympic loss by a 51-50 margin. Collins and his teammates have remained upset of the outcome of the game ever since, and refused their silver medals.

Now Collins has every right to be upset at the blatant fix, but this Holier-than-thou ego carried over as a coach and as an announcer. On to the countdown!

10. Doug's Keys of the game for the Suns......."The Suns must Rebound/The Suns must shoot 3's better." That is what was put up on the screen, but Collins says nothing. So what you're saying Dougie is that the team who rebounds and scores will win? Great insight Joe Theisman.
9. "A monday night Game 7 would really help the Suns." Doug, you think?! It's would be a home game ass. But how about they just win the next two and win the series?
8. "Game 5, such a deciding game." Well if the series was 3-1 yes, but it's 2-2. Maybe the Monday night Game 7 would be a bit more deciding.
7. "They are doubling Steve Nash and what the Suns are doing is going to the open areas to make shots" No really?!?!
6. "Nash might only score 6 to 8 points tonight" Besides the fact that Nash is the MVP, he is averaging almost 20 points in the playoffs. The other reason this is retarded is because he said it with 9:31 left in the 1st Quarter!!! (Nash had 9 points in the 2nd Quarter alone)
5. He repeatedly calls Vladamir Radmanovic "Vlade" and then throws out this gem, "With Vlade Divac and Vlade Radmanovic were starting the Vlade Revolution" Yes Douglas, two people with that name comprise a revolution.
4. "The Phoenix Suns are on a 8-1 Run!!!" He said this with such inflection that I thought it was going to be something ridiculous like a 40-4 run. Question PDC, can a run be defined as 8-1?
3. "Being a guy who scored in this league a little bit it's important to get to the Free Throw Line" I really only added this one because it shocked me so much last night, but today I looked up his stats and they weren't that bad. 17.9 ppg over 8 seasons in Philly. But his ego oozed out of the TV with that statement.
2. "Multiple Shots will wear you down." I don't even know how to disect this one. He didn't even specify whether this was on offense or defense.

and drum roll please.....................

At #1 we have a tie!!!!

"Shawn Marion was at the 3 Point Line and tipped the ball in....that's when he's at his best!"
Okay this is just ridiculous. When I double checked the play the Suns only got two points. But he's also saying that Shawn Marion is the best when he's at the three point line? This is the same Shawn Marion that had 6 offenisve rebounds last night right? The same Matrix that shot 31% from behind the arc in the regular season, and 21% in the playoffs? Okay just checking.

"You are in good voice tonight"~ Paula Abdul
I really like to specialize in sports, but this was just too blatantly ridiculous. But if I was on Pain Killers and taking shots from the giant plastic Coke glass on the table in front of me I couldn't function either.

....So there you have it. I'll let you make the call on who wins the battle. More Basketball tonight, and I can only hope that John Thompson is doing one of the games.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 2:49 PM 1 Comments Links to this post

I'm Exhuasted....Jack Nicholson is a badass

Let me start by saying that the Clippers/Suns game ended at 220am, so I might not be entirely on my game (as if I ever am). With that said I'm so glad I did not miss that game.

  • Two overtimes
  • Jack Nicholson at a Clippers game, and not sitting in the front row. He apparently flew over on a jet with James L. Brooks (Simpsons and my fav Spanglish!) and pulled second row seats for a Suns game. Pretty Impressive.
  • Jack Nicholson saying to Carl Sager (interviewer in the crowd) that he was only there to make sure Charles Barkley didn't get rough with his man Kobe during halftime. (Somehow Kobe never showed and is coming on tonight) Everything this guy says is cool.
  • Billy Crystal not sitting in the front row either but with a guy who looked like a gay Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
  • Penny Marshall looking HUGE and being yelled at by drunk Suns Fans.
  • A ridiculous shot by Raja Bell to force the first overtime (somehow Dunleavy thought he had to give Daniel Ewing some PT with the game on the line)
  • I won three bets on the game
  • Going into a commercial they played Hoobastank and then the commercial had a P.O.D. song for the new X-Men video game. Good combo there TNT. (sad thing is I saw them in concert together)
  • And some of the worst coaching I've seen in awhile. All around it was amazing

Side Note: How do these coaches still have jobs? Short list: Norv Turner, Marty Shot, Rick Adelman (Guess he doesn't), Dunleavy, Mike Martz.....etc.

Here's the Dunleavy blunder. With the Clippers up three, and ready to suck all of the life out of the American Airlines arena, Dunleavy decides to go with a lineup of Quinton Ross, Daniel Ewing, Shaun Livingston, Cuttino Mobley, and Walter McCarty. That's right Walter "I'm somehow still in the league" McCarty. Apparently this was his idea of a genius defensive lineup. Here's the kicker though they had a foul to give! Meaning they could just shove whoever got the ball into the crowd and the Suns would have to take the ball out again with under 1 second. But instead the genius substitution Ewing lets Raja Bell get the sideline (another idiotic move when the Suns have to shoot a 3) and he nails the shot.

I just don't understand how you don't foul. It happened when Damon Jones beat the Wizards, and it happened in the Mavs/Spurs series. Makes no sense. Here's a great quote from Sam Cassell, "We had a young guy in the game. It's not his fault that Raja made his shot, but we've got to know better in that situation," Cassell said. "We've got a foul to give, we've got to put Raja Bell in the fifth row with the popcorn man, but we didn't do it."

I'll be back later today with the announcing woes (and there are some gems) of one Paul Douglas Collins (Doug Collins) who is slowly creeping up my chart of most hated people ever.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:26 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

About Awful Announcing

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Awful Announcing is an independent Sports Blog written by Maryland native and James Madison University graduate Brian Powell. Powell got his start in the Sports Arena as an intern for the WUSA's Philadelphia Charge and went onto work for the Washington Wizards in early 2004. While those jobs were definitely rewarding they weren't exactly paying the bills and Powell moved into marketing for a large Homebuilder in the Washington DC Area before starting this website in May of 2006. In early 2007 Powell also signed on to be one of the many outstanding contributors to the Sporting News' new blogging project. There he provides Weekend Sports Television previews and reviews as well as many other articles throughout the week.

Started as a hobby, Awful Announcing quickly became one of the most talked about and linked blogs on the Internet. The site focuses mainly on the perils and follies of the Sports Media, but also critiques and reviews those within the Sports World. The site has been mentioned on Sports Center, ESPN Radio, WFAN, and various newspapers throughout the Country. AA was also an honorable mention for Best Non-Corporate Sports Web Site in SI.com Richard Deitsch's annual Media Awards in 2007. The website is also widely known for a penchant of finding videos like no other and catching media members in humorous and/or shocking moments. The site prides itself on having items that no other outlet does and will continue to do so for years to come.

Some of the Sports stories credited to or broken by AA.com include: The USC Song Girl Incident, The Dana Jacobson Vodka Incident, The On-Air Breakdown of Yankee Announcer Suzyn Waldman, Mike Golic's On-Air Admission of Steroid Use, Matt Vasgersian Trashing The City Of St. Louis, and Eric Cartman Introducing The Colorado Buffaloes

Weekend Editor: Signal To Noise (S2N)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 8:46 PM Links to this post

1st Post/Introduction

I've been telling friends for years that I was going to start a site where I vented my frustrations on Sports Announcers, Color Commentators, and SportsCenter Hosts. This is that attempt...hope you enjoy. (and if you don't please send good hate mail)

What finally sent me over the edge was a comment from the Biggest Offender of Awful Announcing one Hubert Jude Brown or Hubie as the basketball world knows him. For those of you who don't know Hubie he is an ANCIENT announcer for the NBA, a former coach in both the NBA and ABA, and apparently does not know how to form sentences.

In the first playoff game in the Wizards/Cavs series the Wizards decided to not guard UCONN's own Donyell Marshall....who at some point in his career decided to gain 60 lbs. and stand in the exact same corner of the floor every offensive possession. (This Wizards trend of no defense continued throughout the series) Well Mr. Marshall proceeded to hit back to back threes, and the Wizards called timeout.

Now normal blunders during live play are somewhat understandable. Well besides the fact that these Champions of Industry are paid millions of dollars to be on television. Our friend Hubie had an entire commercial break to warm up his telestrator and come up with this gem......

(Circling Donyell Marshall in white) "Now what Marshall is showing us here is something that is important within this series. Wideopenshotability."

Oh you think?!?! You think taking wide-open shots with no one on you when you're the slowest guy on the court with an American name (Zydrunas Ilgauskas does not count) is a key to the series? Come on Hubie.......

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 2:02 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

AA In The Press

From time to time actual mainstream media talks to or mentions Awful Announcing. The following is a collection of those interviews and links.

Awful Announcing Mention On Sports Center (AA.com)
Awful Announcing Mention On Bill Simmons' Podcast (ESPN.com)
Awful Announcing On ESPN Radio (AA.com)
Best Non-Corporate Sports Web Site 2007- Honorable Mention (Sports Illustrated)
Awful Announcing Mention As A Blog To Watch In The New York Post (NY Post)
Awful Announcing On Gus Johnson Sports (Gus Johnson Sports)
Awful Announcing Mention In The New York Times (NY Times)
Awful Announcing Mention In The Wall Street Journal (WSJ Online)
Awful Announcing's Greatest Hits (Ballhype)
Blog Rankings (Ballhype)
Everday Is A Roast (Chicago Sports Weekly)
Encoding For A Living: The Online Sports Video King (the story of Brian Powell) (Sports Illustrated)

Other Mentions Without Links: Palm Beach Post, Chicago Sports Review (Top 10 Blog Stories), The Capital (Annapolis, MD), SLAM Magazine, Sporting News

Blogger Interviews: Awful Announcing (The Big Picture)
SMJ Interview- Brian Powell, Awful Announcing (Sports Media Journal)
Interview With Awful Announcing (Larry Brown Sports)
Mondesi Interview: Brian Powell of Awfulannouncing.com (Mondesi's House)
Brian Powell of Awful Announcing Joins the DL

Other Interviews Without Links: ESPN 710 (Los Angeles), 790AM The Ticket (Miami), 1570AM The Game (Houston), Sporting News Radio

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 2:00 PM Links to this post