Lou Holtz Is A Greaser, Wants To Cut Mark May

Monday, December 31, 2007

I really thought I was going to end the year with the Illinois pep talk, but Lou Holtz just blew (blowed?) my mind. Lou, Rece Davis, and Mark May were talking about the Chick-Fil-A Bowl when Holtz said he wouldn't even go out for New Years Eve because this game is so good. Mark May then responded by saying he's in Bristol and there's nowhere to go. That's when the fun starts.....

Hilarious. Lou's old school Mark! Do NOT mess with him!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Lou Holtz Gets The Last Post Of The Year

How much does ESPN want you to watch the Rose Bowl? This much....

I've seen possibly 400 ads regarding the Rose Bowl these past two weeks. There were ads in magazines, promos during every Bowl Game on ESPN, and Brent Musburger was trying to get me to watch the game in my dreams (or nightmares). But nothing....NOTHING I tell you....will get me more hyped for a game than a Lou Holtz pep talk.

Have a great New Years Eve everyone, stay safe and I'll see you here tomorrow for a truly great day of action. You never know what will happen.

Bowl Season Open Thread: The Music City, Insight, And Chick-Fil-A Bowls

The nightcap will probably prove to be much more exciting than the earlier games, and I don't expect anyone to be around to add some quotes. If you do I'll love you for it, if not then have a great night. I have one more post before heading out into the night myself, so stick around for a bit.

Kentucky vs. FSU
The Music City Bowl
4:00 PM ET, December 31, 2007
The Coliseum , Nashville , TN

Weather: 56 Degrees and Sunny
Spread: Kentucky -7.5, O/U 56
AA's Pick: Kentucky -7....again, buy the half
Announcers: Ron Franklin, Ed Cunningham(ESPN)

Team Leaders

Kentucky Passing: Woodson- 63.0%, 3351 Yards, 36 TDs, 10 INTs
Florida State Passing: Weatherford- 58.9%, 1773 Yards, 8 TDs, 1 INTs

Kentucky Rushing: Little- 162 Carries, 861 Yards, 5.3 avg, 3 TDs
Florida State Rushing: Smith- 175 Carries, 663 Yards, 3.8 avg, 3 TDs

Kentucky Receiving: Johnson- 54 Catches, 928 Yards, 17.2 avg, 11 TDs
Florida State Receiving: Fagg- 49 Catches, 707 Yards, 14.4 avg, 5 TDs

Indiana vs. Oklahoma State
Insight Bowl
5:30 PM ET, December 31, 2007
Sun Devil Stadium , Tempe , AZ

Weather: 63 Degrees, Sunny
Spread: Oklahoma State -6, O/U 70
AA's Pick: Indiana +6
Announcers: Bob Papa, Sterling Sharpe, Mike Mayock (NFL-N)

Team Leaders

Indiana Passing:
Lewis- 60.9%, 2839 Yards, 26 TDs, 10 INTs
Oklahoma State Passing:
Robinson- 59.2%, 2522 Yards, 20 TDs, 8 INTs

Indiana Rushing: Lewis-
137 Carries, 653 Yards, 4.8 avg, 8 TDs
Oklahoma State Rushing:
Savage- 200 Carries, 1172 Yards, 5.9 avg, 8 TDs

Indiana Receiving: Hardy-
74 Catches, 1075 Yards, 14.5 avg, 16 TDs
Oklahoma State Receiving:
Bowman- 61 Catches, 932 Yards, 15.3 avg, 7 TDs

#15 Clemson vs. #23 Auburn
The Chick-Fil-A Bowl
7:30 PM ET, December 31, 2007
Georgia Dome , Atlanta , GA

Clemson -3, O/U 45
AA's Pick:
Clemson -3
Brad Nessler, Bob Griese, Paul Maguire (ESPN)

Team Leaders

Clemson Passing:
Harper- 67.0%, 2887 Yards, 27 TDs, 6 INTs
Auburn Passing:
Cox- 58.8%, 1869 Yards, 9 TDs, 12 INTs

Clemson Rushing: Davis-
191 Carries, 992 Yards, 5.2 avg, 9 TDs
Auburn Rushing: Tate-
188 Carries, 856 Yards, 4.6 avg, 7 TDs

Clemson Receiving: Kelly-
84 Catches, 1045 Yards, 12.4 avg, 11 TDs
Auburn Receiving: Smith-
48 Catches, 660 Yards, 13.8 avg, 5 TDs

"In the history of football I don't think there's ever been a pass completed out of bounds." - Ed Cunningham (Via alienaub)

I heard that one too.....hilarious.

"It's an exaggeration of sand. Well wet sand."- Ron Franklin on a FSU player who trains in mud

"Holy Boise, Batman!" - Dave Lamont (Via Anon and Wilmott)

"One of the receivers run by and rubs the defender so the other receiver can run an out cut or a slant without the guy covering him....."- Ed Cunningham
"Rub is better know as a pick."- Ron Franklin
"Rubbing offensive guys, that's what we call it."- Ed Cunningham

"I would never go out for New Years Eve with this game on. It's going to be interesting."- Lou Holtz
"You're in Bristol, where are you going to go?"- Mark May
"Easy, easy....I'll save you right now with some other breaking news."- Rece Davis
"We only work here."- Mark May
"Cut his mic."- Rece Davis
"Cut his throat"- Lou Holtz

Whoa Lou....whoa!

The Patriots Still Aren't In Mercury Morris' Imaginary Neighborhood

I have no idea why First Take (and myself for that matter) keeps giving this guy airtime, but here's our friend Mercury Morris giving Michelle Bonner a hard time on ESPN this morning. Not only does he say that the Patriots haven't accomplished anything yet he also flips out on the Parcells piece ESPN did.....

What a dick.

Hey, Someone Won An I-Phone!

I almost forgot to look up the Final Standings of the Free I-Phone Pick Em Contest (mainly because I forgot to make my picks last week). Thanks again to Lijit for hooking AA up with the phone and thanks to everyone who participated. You're winner is....

MIKE PRADA of Bullets Forever!!!

Congrats to Mike and his team name of "Thanks4ThePhoneAA" worked out for him pretty well. Good things happen when you intern at the Blog Show. You can click below for the final standings, and thanks again for such a fun contest. Here were your top 5.....

1. Thanx 4 the phone AA , M. Paradis- 147
2. Ealy Entry1, N. Ealy- 142
3. Shoe In , D. Manning- 141
4. VegasB2K , g. schueler- 137
5. Odessa Steps , M. Coale- 136

Final Pick Em Standings (ESPN)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 2:24 PM 4 Comments Links to this post

Breaking News: Ravens Fire Billick

This isn't normally in my line of posting, but Jay Glazer just broke the news that the Ravens have fired Billick and I want to do a little test. I got the information at about 1:30, so I'm going to see how long it takes Chris Mortensen to "break" the news himself. The over/under is set at 2:15pm.

Here's the story from Glazer....

Despite his insistence that his job was safe, the Brian Billick era in Baltimore is over.

The team fired their head coach Monday, FOXSports.com has learned, capping an extremely disappointing season.

This comes one day after FOX Sports reported that the players and other employees informed team owner Steve Biscotti that Billick had completely lost the locker room and could not win them back
The clock is ticking Mort.....

Sources: Ravens fire Billick after disappointing year (Fox Sports)

P.S.- It's about time.

UPDATE: The official time is 2:07pm on the first ESPN report. Len Pasquarelli was just on ESPN News and there was no mention of who broke the story. Here we go.....
"Less than a year after signing him to a contract extension through 2010, the Baltimore Ravens on Monday fired coach Brian Billick. The dismissal of Billick was confirmed to ESPN's Chris Mortensen by owner Steve Bisciotti and to ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli by an assistant coach and a front office official."
Just about a full hour after Jay Glazer's report. Unbelievable.

Your Post Season Pammy Standings

I got rid of the Paul Maguire quote because he was apparently referring to a quote from a former coach. Here are the current leaders....let me know if you agree or disagree.

10. "There's Taylor Hicks and he dated your wife at Auburn didn't he?"- Terry Gannon to David Norrie

9. "The tiger is fast, but the owl sees at night."- Mark Jones

8. "Show me those legs again...I want to see those calves." - Mark Jones on FAU running back Charles Pierre (Via Asher)

7. "The defender reached around and pulled on Young."- Dave Sims (Via Rick James Bible Owner)

6. "Tomorrow, the Boise State Broncos play the East Carolina Parrots....Parrots? I meant Pirates."- Brad Nessler (Via Rick James Bible Owner)

5. "You know the game find Waldo?"- Rod Gilmore (Via Ryan)

4. "He smelled sack and he got sack"- Chris Spielman (Via Fairplay)

3. "Stretched out every ounce of speed he had"- Andre Ware (Via Anon)

2. "Now you know why his teammates call him 'Sweet Pea'." - Charles Davis
"He's got a couple of nicknames. Donny Avery called him a white Michael Vick." - Mike Mayock
"I think Sweet Pea is a little safer." - Brad Sham
(Via alienaub)

1. "You have an I-Pod and an I-Phone?"- Todd Blackledge
"Anything with an I in it I have it. If they come out with an I-Car I'm buying it."- Mike Patrick
"Do you have Britney Spears on that I-Pod?"- Todd Blackledge
"No.............although I hear she might be renting out that double wide to a family member."- Mike Patrick

There should be plenty to add over the next few days.

Bowl Season Open Thread: The Armed Forces, Humanitarian, And Sun Bowls

We get another full day of Bowl Games and some pretty good matchups. I'm going to throw up the Post Season Pammy Top 10 after this post and put up the three later matchups after that. There's also going to be a little Mercury Morris video in there as well. Should be a fun day.....hope you can join in.

CAL vs. Air Force
The Armed Forces Bowl
12:30 PM ET, December 31, 2007
Amon Carter Stadium , Fort Worth , TXw

Weather: Sunny with gusty winds. High 59 Degrees
Spread: CAL -4.5, O/U 57
AA's Pick: CAL -4....again, buy the half (Record 9-5-1)
Announcers: Dan Fouts, Tim Brant(ESPN)

Team Leaders

California Passing: Longshore- 59.8%, 2544 Yards, 16 TDs, 13 INTs
Air Force Passing: Carney- 62.2%, 1423 Yards, 8 TDs, 5 INTs
California Rushing: Forsett- 282 Carries, 1406 Yards, 5.0 avg, 13 TDs
Air Force Rushing: Hall- 211 Carries, 1415 Yards, 6.7 avg, 14 TDs

California Receiving: Hawkins- 69 Catches, 855 Yards, 12.4 avg, 5 TDs
Air Force Receiving: Hall- 46 Catches, 488 Yards, 10.6 avg, 1 TD

Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State
Humanitarian Bowl
2:00 PM ET, December 31, 2007
Bronco Stadium , Boise , ID

Weather: 30 Degrees, Sunny
Spread: Georgia Tech -6, O/U 54
AA's Pick: Fresno +6
Announcers: Dave Lamont, James Hasty (ESPN2)

Team Leaders

Georgia Tech Passing: Bennnett- 49.0%, 2045 Yards, 6 TDs, 9 INTs
Fresno State Passing: Brandstater- 61.2%, 2369 Yards, 14 TDs, 5 INTs

Georgia Tech Rushing: Choice- 249 Carries, 1310 Yards, 5.3 avg, 10 TDs
Fresno State Rushing: Mathews- 145 Carries, 866 Yards, 6.0 avg, 14 TDs

Georgia Tech Receiving: Smith- 34 Catches, 543 Yards, 16.0 avg, 2 TDs
Fresno State Receiving: Moore- 41 Catches, 614 Yards, 15.0 avg, 5 TDs

#21 South Florida vs. Oregon
The Sun Bowl
2:00 PM ET, December 31, 2007
Sun Bowl , El Paso , TX

Weather: Sunny. High 62 Degrees
Spread: South Florida -7, O/U 52
AA's Pick: Definitely take the under here...and I'm going with the USF -7.
Announcers: Craig Bolerjack, Steve Beuerlein (CBS)

Team Leaders

South Florida Passing: Grothe- 59.9%, 2473 Yards, 13 TDs, 12 INTs
Oregon Passing: Dixon (out)- 67.7%, 2136 Yards, 20 TDs, 4 INTs

South Florida Rushing: Grothe- 184 Carries, 832 Yards, 4.5 avg, 10 TDs
Oregon Rushing: Stewart- 257 Carries, 1469 Yards, 5.7 avg, 10 TDs
South Florida Receiving: Mitchell- 37 Catches, 537 Yards, 14.5 avg, 4 TDs
Oregon Receiving: Williams- 51 Catches, 804 Yards, 15.8 avg, 7 TDs

"He can find the hole and he explodes through it." - Tim Brant (Via fairplay)

An Oklahoma D-Lineman allegedly stole a coat from a Burlington Coat Factory in Arizona & got sent home from the Fiesta Bowl. Robert Smith's reaction: "Now you know you don't need no coat in Arizona."


ESPN's Most Annoying Features Also Its Most Popular

It's the end of a crazy year in Sports and ESPN was/is obviously the leader in the AA clubhouse for number of mentions over the 365 days. I've been through the reasoning before so we won't go back into that, but I did want to bring a few things to light.

The two things I harped on more than any other this year, the Who's Now segment and Monday Night Football, were not only the most annoying things the network put out in the world, but also very very popular.

Monday Night Football is still a joke if you ask me. While it was better than last year it's still a collection of randomness highlighted by a few insights from Ron Jaworski. I'm sure 95% of America wouldn't even think about complaining if Tony Kornheiser was send out to pasture, but I don't see that happening. So the question is if everyone can't stand the program why was it the most watched series on Cable this season?

ESPN’s second season of Monday Night Football was the most-watched series on cable television in 2007, set an all-time viewership record and drew the four biggest cable household audiences and 16 of the top 20 this year. In two seasons on ESPN, Monday Night Football has registered nine of the top 10 all-time biggest household audiences in cable history, led by the Patriots-Ravens telecast earliest this month, which attracted cable’s largest household audience ever.
In a year that most of the games on MNF were not interesting matchups at all it's an amazing feat that they pulled of such high numbers. While those numbers were huge for the network they didn't shock me as much as this...
Who's Now was far and away the top search of 2007 (receiving more than six times as many searches as the second-place top search). As noted in ESPN Ombudsman Le Anne Schreiber's column, there were nearly 5 million votes cast throughout the tournament and more than 370,000 were cast for the final vote between Tiger Woods and LeBron James (Eldrick won with 65% of the votes if you were wondering ... and I know you were).
The most annoying, pointless, irrelevant, and stupid programs ever put on television was the most searched topic on ESPN.com? You have to be kidding me.

There's more to come on this during the AA Year in Review next week, but I wanted to get your thoughts on this.

'Who's Now' a Huge Success for ESPN.com (Fanhouse)

(Other source: ESPN PR)

Lakers Bring Back The Short Shorts For 80s Night

Sunday, December 30, 2007

There are some things that should never be brought out of the time capsule. I enjoy throwbacks and the theme nights just as much as the next person, but there's absolutely no reason that the shorts players wore in the 80s should used for games today.

Well the Lakers didn't listen to me Sunday night.....

There should never ever be even the slightest chance of someone seeing balls during a Basketball game in the 21st Century.

(More photos to come....Sasha Vujacic is really disturbing me)

Update: Those wimps.....they changed at halftime and are back to wearing the modern shorts.

SNF Live-Blog: TEN-IND, 2nd Half

A young Tony Dungy as a Steelers coach with Chuck Noll and future Colts O-coordinator Tom Moore.

New rules for this half: given the propensity and probability that this half will consist mostly of three and outs, I will, rather than try to get the game action, catalog the myriad of non-Colts or Titans related subjects John and Al touch on. Of course, big plays and scores will still be noted, but these may be few and far between right now. If you'd like to help out, please do so in comments (like you don't already.)

"I always look forward to a big implosion. This building will be torn down, but not exploded." - JM. He must love his trips to the restroom in the Madden Cruiser.

Also, a 2nd half three and out count will be used. That #1 for the Colts this half. They're now talking about the Colts' new dome, of course. I think John just called the RCA Dome a pimple. Colts recover a fumble by LenDale White. He'd never have dropped it if it were a sandwich.

Apparently if Sorgi gets hurt, Peyton comes back in. Cleveland is hoping Albert Haynesworth stomps on Sorgi's face.

Players from the Ivy League -- apparently Clifton Dawson is a Hah-vahd man. TOUCHDOWN COLTS -- Sorgi rifles it to Craphonso Thorpe. Kick is good, 10-7, Colts.

Chris Henry (not the Bengal) just got DESTROYED on that kick off return. That's gonna leave a mark. "If that was a heavyweight fight he'd have to take a standing eight count." - Madden.

No three and out this time, VY picks up a first down, but comes up limping a bit -- and he's taking himself out of the game now after the next play. Here comes Kerry Collins. Drink, people, because you know Kerry did today. Penalty-fest: false start, delay of game, then offsides on the Colts, yeesh.

Madden said reid was pointing to the top of his head and he didnt know why. John he was pointing the name on his back because like all athletes today he wanted everyone to know who he is because he made a play. - Steve


Truly AMAZING stuff on NBATV in the Celtics vs Lakers game. The Lakers are going "old-school" and this ain't your regular old school. They have super short shorts on like shorter then John Stockton. You have to see this. - Brett

I'm in SoCal, so it's on the Fox Sports here -- and all I can say is, "I see London, I see France, I see Kobe's underpants."

Bironas kicks a FG for the Titans after the Collins-led drive stalls. 10-10 all.

The other good part about Fox Sports here is that there are two channels: one is showing the regular game feed with announcers while the other is just using the sideline cameras and such; they call it "Lakers Sideline." All you get are these cameras and the P.A. announcer -- with a sideline reporter doing dorky interviews with Andy Garcia and Lakers VP Jeanie Buss before the game (and she sounds less like an exec VP than a total Laker groupie.)

VY ain't coming back with that strained calf, people -- no matter how questionable Andrea Kremer says he is. Third quarter over.

Take notice-that could be the only time you ever hear a "Let's go Sorgi" chant in an NFL stadium - Sam

It must be nice to be Jim Sorgi. Get paid a good salary, don't have to do jack shit of consequence ever because Peyton's never hurt at all. Now, there's shots of Peyton playing offensive coordinator on the sidelines with Sorgi. That's the only part that's gotta suck, and the look on Sorgi's face was priceless; "Dammit, I don't wanna listen to this asshat" while saying "Yeah, Peyton, you got it." I dare say Jim Sorgi had Eli Manning face on him while getting a priceless pep talk from Peyton.

"They're not saying 'boo', they're saying 'Luke', aren't they?" - JM

Three and out #2 this half for the Colts.

Vince Young injured in a game John Madden commentates......now there's a coincidence ;) Madden jinx!!! - Mark B
The only NFL job easier than Peyton's backup is the Patriots' punter. - Jet City Gambler

JM: "There are some things you can do in the locker room on a table that you just can't do on the field." - (via False Rumour Monger)

(shivers in fear) VY's running back to the sideline now, but I doubt he's getting back on the field at all.

Via The Sporting Blog comes a replay of the Reid hit on Henry

Damn, AA -- it's tough to watch that again. I'm awaiting the Kerry Collins that never fails to throw a timely pick, and he's been close to it with the past two passes. Here comes Bironas for a field goal to go ahead. It's good, 13-10, Titans.

So, Browns fans, your hopes lie on the shoulders of Jim Sorgi. Might as well get ready for the off-season now. Antoine Odom just teabagged Sorgi. After an incomplete and a pass that's short, that's #3 three and out for the Colts. Titans have it at the Colts 47.

The Titans are trying to eat clock right now by running the ball. Well, they were. Collins is gunslinging it down the field for first down after first down.

If you missed it, Andrea Kremer talked about text-messaging Willie McGinest, who's apparently waiting with baited breath to see if he goes to the playoffs. My guess is that Kremer got McGinest's number, hoping he still had Tom Brady's. Bironas nails another field goal, 16-10, Titans.

How much of a "fuck you" would it be if Peyton, Clark, and Wayne came back in right now to get a game-winning touchdown?

"It's the month of the Collinses." - AM. I smell conspiracy -- two square-jawed dudes named Collins in their late thirties come in to replace young, black quarterbacks in VY and Jason Campbell -- Collinses don't care about black people.

The receiver should have come down with that Sorgi pass, and we get "Another One Bites the Dust," presumably for Browns fans. This sucker's over, Titans will get into the playoffs with a 16-10 victory. I'm going over to Celtics-Lakers, and I presumably will see you next Saturday once AA and I work out who's live-blogging what for Wild Card Weekend.

SNF Live-Blog: TEN-IND, 1st Half

Vince Young, making the rounds at an ATP men's tennis tour stop in his hometown of Houston. I will be live-blogging this game while participating in EDSBS' drinking game with the Independence Bowl. Wish me luck!

OK, here we go with John and Al, and let's see how much Peyton is actually playing tonight. John's talking about the "two games" tonight. Is that anything like John Edwards' "Two Americas" speech or anything?

Colts kick it off, and the Titans will start deep in their own territory. VY hands it off to LenDale White, who garners 10+ yards on the first rush from scrimmage. White busts it again for another 15 and a first down at midfield. A small victory for the Colts early, they stop White after only two yards. VY hits Bo Scaife on third down for another first. Chris Brown barrels through for another 1st in Indy territory after a VY pass for eight on the previous play. VY is slinging it to Byron Ealey now. Another catch, this one by Justin Gage, and it's first and goal.

Chris Brown barrels right in on first down for a touchdown, Titans. Kick is up and good, 7-0 Titans.

Not a good way for the Colts to start -- like they care. Kicked off to T.J. Rushing, and he goes back to the 22 yard line, which is where we'll say hello to Peyton Manning. Peyton hits Joseph Addai on the swing for eight yards. He then hits Reggie Wayne for a first down. Incomplete on the next play. 2nd down catch by Wayne gets a few yards. Manning to Wayne for another first down with extra yardage after the catch into Titans territory. Peyton to Clark, 3rd and 1, Peyton to Unpronounceable Receiver Not Marvin Harrison for another 1st. Wayne FUMBLES!!! on the swing out pass, and Tennessee's got it back.

More rushing for the Titans on the start of this series. Chris Brown gets another first down on the second play.

"He gets that penetration, gets in the backfield." - JM

VY looked really weird sliding on that bootleg out when there wasn't any sort of pass available downfield. It'll be 3rd and 12 here, and not enough on the play. 4th down, here comes the punt team. Indy brings the punt back to the 18.

JM: "That time Joseph Addai got what you call a real chip. That was chipping off a big, old hunk. It took Vandebosh right down."
AM: "Put him in the woodchipper." - via False Rumour Monger

Addai busts a big run past the 30 on the first play for 15 yards. Another one past the 35 for Addai, 2nd and 6 coming up. Peyton to Fletcher to close out the quarter. More Addai, more first down for the start of the second. Swing out to Wayne, which he doesn't drop this time. Short of the first down. Another shortie to Wayne, and that's a first down. Another pass to Wayne, another first down. Peyton is a machine right now.

"He's big and strong and he's physical." - JM, talking about Titans defenders. Another 4-yard pass to Wayne. Addai gets stuffed on the next play, but 3rd and 16 at the Titans 19 is coming up. Manning's arm gets smacked while throwing, and here comes Viniateri to kick a field goal. Kick is up and good, 7-3, Titans.

Really, NBC? Couldn't you have gotten Don Henley's original instead of the Ataris' cover of "The Boys of Summer"?

VY gets it out to the tight end for 27 yards, and this Colts team is sucking on defense right now. One yard gain for Chris Brown. 3rd and six is caught by Gage across midfield for a first down. Vince Young just steps up and makes the big plays, people. Pass interference on a bomb thrown by VY against Marlin Jackson. Ball is loose on the next play inside the 10, and the Colts get the fumble recovery!!!


Is Al going to mention Cleveland everytime something exciting happens in the game? - Rick.

Yes. Yes he will. Sorgi, out to the fullback at the 14 yard line. He then hits Reggie Wayne for a first down, and now has the most receiving yards in the league. Another pass to Wayne to a first down, and "he learned this from Peyton Manning." I bet he did, John. I think someone should name their band the Jim Sorgi Experience. An incompletion on 2nd, and the pass to Craphonso Thorpe is short of the first. Punt time. Returned to the 25, but will come back with a penalty flag.

3 and a half left in the first half, everyone. VY incomplete on 2nd down, and it's stalling again. Incomplete on third down, and it's another punt. A good punt return is negated by a block in the back. Sorgi at his own 30, and knocked down by the Titans. He then throws incomplete with a flag on the play -- it's on the Colts, and declined. Sorgi throws another incompletion, punt time.

"This has to be so agonizing for the Cleveland Browns right now." - AM

2:13 left in the half. White gets nothing on first down, time for the 2 minute warning. VY's 2nd down pass bounces off of Bo Scaife and lands in the arm of another Titans receiver somehow. John and Al are bored -- they're now talking about the Immaculate Reception for some reason. Another pass to Gage for a 1st down, and 1:42 and a first down at the Indy 41.

Sorry. Browser crashed. Tennessee punted again, and the half ran out. Titans, 7-3 at the half. I have to decide whether this is worth blogging the 2nd half.

"It used to be clipping on the return team, now it's block in the back"-Madden
"I miss clipping"-Michaels - Via Sam

"There's more Colt jerseys at a Colt game than any other stadium."- John Madden - (Via AA)

TEN-IND Pre-Game Thread

S2N back with you again, and you won't be seeing too much of this guy above in Titans-Colts tonight. This game, despite the likely viewing of Jim Sorgi for much of it, means something, as everyone in Cleveland is officially a Colts fan for the next four hours. Titans win and they're headed to San Diego, otherwise, the Browns will be headed to the Whale's Vagina, Tijuana's Hat, or any other nickname you have for the city.

So, let's document this week's atrocities from Costas and Co. in the comments, and I'll see you for the first half.

AA Here......had to jack S2N's thread with this hilarious clip of Jon Gruden inventing a new word.....

Irrelative? Oooookay.

Bowl Season Open Thread: The Independence Bowl

I bet you didn't even know there was a game tonight did you? I'll be flipping back and forth between the Bowl game and the Titans-Colts game, but don't pay attention to me.....check out S2N's Live-Blog for the night. The last game of the regular season.

I'll update the Post Season Pammies Top 10 Tomorrow and we'll all chuckle. Good times.

Alabama vs. Colorado
The Independence Bowl
8:00 PM ET, December 30, 2007
Independence Stadium , Shreveport , LA

Weather: Clear, Low of 37 Degrees
Spread: Bama -4.5, O/U 52
AA's Pick: Bama -4...buy the half (Record 8-5-1)
Announcers: Mark Jones, Bob Davie (ESPN)

Team Leaders

Alabama Passing: Wilson- 54.9%, 2590 Yards, 15 TDs, 11 INTs
Colorado Passing: Hawkins- 56.4%, 2693 Yards, 19 TDs, 15 INTs

Alabama Rushing: Grant- 180 Carries, 891 Yards, 5.0 avg, 8 TDs
Colorado Rushing: Charles- 185 Carries, 989 Yards, 5.3 avg, 8 TDs

Alabama Receiving: Hall- 63 Catches, 947 Yards, 15.0 avg, 6 TDs
Colorado Receiving: McKnight- 43 Catches, 488 Yards, 11.3 avg, 4 Tds

"What a grab Stover! Caddell got it too!!!"- Mark Jones

So which one caught the TD?

A Ton Of People Watched History Last Night

34.5 Million people to be exact. How does that rate in the overall scheme of things this year? Well it's the most watched show this season and was right behind last February's Academy Awards.....

Based on fast national ratings, an average of 34.5 million viewers* tuned into Patriots-Giants – ranking as the most watched show of the current television season and the most-watched program since the Academy Awards on February 25 (*viewership through final gun). Patriots-Giants is the most-watched NFL regular-season game since Thanksgiving 1995 (35.7 million for Chiefs-Cowboys).
Good lord that's a lot of people and especially for a Saturday night. It was an exciting game and I bet the NFL Network is kicking itself for allowing the Tri-Network simulcast.

Also via Sports Media Watch comes the individual network numbers....also impressive....
The NFL Network simulcast of Patriots/Giants averaged 25.4 million viewers on CBS and NBC last night, according to preliminary numbers. CBS drew the most viewers, averaging a 13.7 million viewers, versus 11.7 million for NBC. The game drew a combined 8.5/25 rating among adults 18-49, with CBS edging NBC in that department, 4.5 to 4.0.
(From an NFL Press Release via Fanhouse)

You Stay Classy Dolphins

I don't think there's a question that this undefeated season is more impressive than the Dolphins. I think the Pats could lose in the playoffs and it would still seem like a bigger accomplishment to me. Well that's not what the Dolphins are saying today. Insert '72 Dolphin Kicker Garo Yepremian....

"They're playing well," Yepremian said. "But they still have three more opponents coming up.

"I can't say how I feel because they haven't done it yet. If I had hair, I would look like Tom Cruise. But I don't have any hair. They haven't done it, so how I can I say how I feel?"
What does that even mean? I think we found the real "idiot kicker". I'm also still looking for some Mercury Morris comments so we can all laugh at his ridiculousness.

Yepremian: Pats need three more wins to match Miami (ESPN)

Here are our good friend Mercury's thoughts......

"My feeling about it is as consistent as it has been all year. It doesn't matter to me whether or not they win them all because it doesn't affect anything we've done. When all the dust clears, the best they can do is to stand beside us, and in the end, that's not a bad thing. I will welcome them to the neighborhood with my Mr. Rogers sweater on, but first they have to get to the neighborhood."

Saturday Night Football Open Thread: The Path To Perfection

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Here we are folks....Week 17 and we get to witness a shot at history. Unfortunately that history has to involve Bryant Gumbel, but what are you going to do?

Where: Giants Stadium
When: 8pm, NFL-N/CBS/NBC
Why: Perfection
How: Bill Belichick in the Study with a Video Camera
Spread: New England -14, O/U 47
Weather: Partly Cloudy, Low 33 Degrees, Winds 5-10 mph

Sorry folks......something has come up and I'm going to have to be away from the computer for this game. I'm leaving this up as an open thread for the night and hopefully you can leave some gems for me in the comments. I apologize for bailing it's necessary.

Cheers and have a good night (if there's a C4 News Team member that wants to pick up the slack I'll be forever in your debt).

....As you wish. S2N here. I'll be picking up about the first half or so (watching on the NBC affiliate) before I'm scheduled to go watch UFC 79 at a friend's house. Right now I am finishing the utter crap-fest that is the Liberty Bowl; I can't believe someone actually scored an offensive touchdown.

Here are your impromptu drinking game rules for tonight:
1) One shot or sip for every airing of the "Eli Manning: UNSTOPPABLE" ad
2) One shot or sip for every Brady-to-Moss pass
3) Finish your drink if Brady and/or Moss break the TD records they are gunning for tonight (each needs two touchdowns)
4) One shot or sip per Eli fumble or INT
5) Chug your drink for any mention or visual of Jared Lorenzen and scream your favorite J-Load nickname (mine is the Round Mound of Touchdown)
6) One shot or sip for every three Gumbel miscues (if we assign one a shot we're never getting through this)
7) Three sips for Manning Face.
8) One sip for mentions of Wes Welker's stature.
9) Chug for a Patriots punt.

Any other suggestions are welcome in comments.

When I hear Bryant Gumbel on the play-by-play for a football game, I feel like I should be watching a documentary on some arcane subject in history rather than a sporting event. The voice does not match the profession AT ALL. He's like the fourth Chipmunk.

There is some audio foolishness under the national anthem, as if they forgot that it wasn't time to play ads during the anthem. It sounds like Idina Menzel (thanks Mookie for naming her) is singing into an oil drum or some form of tape delay -- the whole anthem sounded like a producer spliced recording tape and flipped it back upon itself. The Giants Stadium PA either stinks or the crew was not plugged into it for the TV broadcast.

Gostowski kicks to Domenik Hixon, he returns it out. Rush to Jacobs for five yards. Eli goes all throwgasm to Burress and he leaps, making an outstanding catch inside the Pats 20. Incomplete to the non-Carolina Steve Smith. Coughlin's using his challenge on that incompletion call, and Collinsworth is right to call him out on it. The nice thing about the NFL telecast is that Collinsworth does know what he's talking about, more often than not. If only they can get Professor Gumbel out of the damn booth....

Brady Quinn is now doing ads for EAS supplements. Amazing what you can get in ad revenue without having done a damn thing on the field yet.

Of course, Coughlin loses the challenge for the exact reasons that Collinsworth outlined.

Saying Gumbel is the fourth Chipmunk is an insult to Alvin, Simon and Theodore...who have a much more impressive body of work. - sportsattitude

Noted. Manning hits Burress, who gets a 1st and goal at Ellis Hobbs' expense, and Collinsworth tells us that Asante Samuel does not play that side because they don't flip corners. Archaic, isn't it? Ball at the eight. Jacobs gets nothing.

"Eli Manning remains a work in progress at quarterback." - BG

I can't stand Gumbel...but I couldn't have said it any better myself. - Hanrahan

Gumbel does have a tendency to make smart statements of the obvious that others won't. Witness the "Upshaw's Leash" statement on Real Sports from 2006.

TOUCHDOWN GIANTS. Manning to Brandon Jacobs on the short pass. Kick is up and good, 7-0, G-men.

"What does Scooby-Doo say?" - CC
"Ruh-roh!" - CC and BG in unison.

What's the ruling on the number of drinks taken for bad Scooby Doo impressions? - hsplaybyplayman

Chug to forget that two grown men even did that on national television. Tynes kicks off to Hobbs and takes it back to the 25 yard line. Here comes the Golden Boy. Brady to Moss for a first down, everyone drink! Brady to WES WEL-KAH across midfield for another first down. Oh -- anything about Wes Welker's height = 1 drink.

Koolaid Maroney gets stuffed on first down. Bryant Gumbel likes to say "stoned" a lot. I'm sure he used to smoke weed, or at least do nitrous. Benjamin Watson drops a 2nd down pass, and it's third and long. Kevin Faulk is short on the screen, and of course the Hobo is going for it on fourth down. Brady to Moss, 1st down, SLAINTE! Brady to Welker for another first, and Tommy's new neckbeard is bringing back the passing power.

1st at the 21, Maroney got zip. Brady tosses an incomplete to avoid an Osi Umenyiora hit.

"The Patriots are accustomed of having success on their opening drives this year." - BG. Um, yeah. It's not just the opening drives, really.

3rd and 8 brings an overthrow of Randy Moss, and Belichick brings on the FG team. Kick is up, good, and it's 7-3, Giants.

Domenik Hixon gets stuffed at the 20 on the kickoff, and here comes Eli again -- but before, we get the first salvo ad against Time Warner, Cablevision, and Charter (my cable provider) by the NFL Network. Jacobs gets not much again, and even less on 2nd down. Amani Toomer drops a pass from Eli that hit him right in the chest. On, Giants punt team and Jeff Feagles -- boots it to Wes Welker, who gets back to midfield.

I'm pretty sure Cris Collinsworth called NFL.com's stats or some such "the tool." Why, I don't know.

Collinsworth calls the NFL Network "the tool". I thought "the tool" was the guy he was calling the game next to. - hsplaybyplayman

+1 to you. Brady throws the first down pass away, and Kavika Mitchell is apparently out with a knee injury -- doubt #1 for the "play your starters" for the Giants for this game. No one can run today -- Maroney stuffed for another loss. Brady gets pounded on 3rd and long for the sack, but a flag in the secondary -- illegal contact on the Giants, and that's an automatic first down. Brady rifles it to Donte Stallworth for another first down. Tom then hits WEL-KAH for a catch and some serious yards post-catch, displaying a rare Randy Moss block. Kevin Faulk can't rush for jack, but he gets the pass on the blown coverage for another first down....uh oh, Randy is down on the field and hurt. Got some helmet to helmet from Gibril Wilson. He's walking off.

End of the first quarter. I'm gonna finish this drive with you, but I just got a phone call to go be social -- so after this one, I'm out and it becomes an open thread again.

Brady to Moss -- TOUCHDOWN, PATRIOTS! Randy breaks Jerry Rice's single-season TD record, Brady ties Peyton's TD pass record, Pats own the NFL scoring record. Kick is up and good, 10-7, Pats.

Have fun, folks. I'll see you around tomorrow, and we'll collect the best announcing BS.

Um...that 15-yard penalty didn't help, as Domenik Hixon takes it to the house on the kickoff! 14-10, Giants.

Now, seriously, I'm out.

Joe Paterno "Casket" Yeller Found

I'm so glad this douchebag got booed when he made the comments I mentioned the other day. This "cheerleader" was trying to get the crowd riled up when he thought it would be a good idea to mention that Joe Paterno was on his death bed....

People like this should be banned from ever touching a microphone.

I Told You Bowl Season Didn't Start Until The Crazy Came (Here It Comes Again) (Awful Announcing)

A Little Eli To Get Us Through The Next Few Hours

So we're about 3 hours away from a date with perfection and I wanted to give you a little Eli to tide you over. Watch closely....

Whoever made that video is a genius. See you for the live-blog around 8pm.....bring your funny and a few shots. We're drinking every time Eli messes something up.

(Thanks to Sam for sending the vid along)

Emmitt Should Never Use Any Tense Of The Word Blow

I know tenses are confusing. Hell I almost failed Spanish class in High School when I got to the past tense part of the Language. Tough stuff. Well you know what the difference between Emmitt and I is? Mr. Smith is trying to speak ENGLISH, not a second language.....

Blowed, Blown, Blows, Blowses, Blowdid, Blowning, Blowing, Blowsing.....What else can he come up with? Also, promoting humble pie??? Seriously.

Bowl Season Open Thread: The Meineke, Liberty, And Alamo Bowls

We get another full day of Bowl Games and some pretty good matchups. I'll be in and out of this spot all day, so leave the quotes you come across in the comments and I'll update below the previews throughout the day.

#25 Connecticut vs. Wake Forest
The Meineke Car Care Bowl
1:00 PM ET, December 29, 2007
Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, NC

Weather: 64 Degrees, AM Showers
Spread: Wake -3, O/U 47
AA's Pick: Wake -3 (Record 7-3-1)
Announcers: Dave Pasch, Andre Ware(ESPN)

Team Leaders
Connecticut Passing: Lorenzen- 57.3%, 2269 Yards, 13 TDs, 5 INTs
Wake Forest Passing: Skinner- 71.9%, 1936 Yards, 11 TDs, 12 INTs

Connecticut Rushing: Dixon- 160 Carries, 809 Yards, 5.1 avg, 3 TDs
Wake Forest Rushing: Adams- 200 Carries, 887 Yards, 4.4 avg, 10 TDs

Connecticut Receiving: Jeffers- 42 Catches, 571 Yards, 13.6 avg, 5 TDs
Wake Forest Receiving: Moore- 87 Catches, 899 Yards, 10.3 avg, 5 TDs

UCF vs. Mississippi State
Liberty Bowl
4:30 PM ET, December 29, 2007
Liberty Bowl , Memphis , TN

Weather: 36 Degrees, Sunny
Spread: UCF -3, O/U 55
AA's Pick: UCF -3
Announcers: Terry Gannon, David Norrie (ESPN)

Team Leaders

UCF Passing: Israel- 59.9%, 2085 Yards, 15 TDs, 8 INTs
Mississippi State Passing: Carroll- 53.2%, 1353 Yards, 9 TDs, 6 INTs

UCF Rushing: Smith- 415 Carries, 2448 Yards, 5.9 avg, 29 TDs
Mississippi State Rushing: Dixon- 263 Carries, 980 Yards, 3.7 avg, 13 TDs

UCF Receiving: Ross- 48 Catches, 631 Yards, 13.1 avg, 2 TDs
Mississippi State Receiving: Smith- 31 Catches, 503 Yards, 16.2 avg, 3 TDs

Penn State vs. Texas A&M
Alamo Bowl
8:00 PM ET, December 29, 2007
Alamo Dome, San Antonio, TX

Weather: Dome
Spread: Penn State -5.5, O/U 52
AA's Pick: TAMU +6, buy the half
Announcers: Chris Fowler, Doug Flutie, Craig James, Erin Andrews (ESPN)

Team Leaders
Penn State Passing: Morelli- 59.0%, 2508 Yards, 18 TDs, 9 INTs
Texas A&M Passing: McGee- 57.7%, 2147 Yards, 12 TDs, 7 INTs
Penn State Rushing: Kinlaw- 222 Carries, 1186 Yards, 5.3 avg, 10 TDs
Texas A&M Rushing: McGee- 173 Carries, 858 Yards, 5.0 avg, 5 TDs
Penn State Receiving: Butler- 43 Catches, 574 Yards, 13.3 avg, 3 TDs
Texas A&M Receiving: Bennett- 45 Catches, 541 Yards, 12.0 avg, 4 TDs

"That's something you'd list as your favorite food, soy milk."- Andre Ware
"I would, and it is!"- Dave Pasch

"Tim Barnes has done a great job."- Andre Ware
"There's no question RICK Barnes has a great team."- Dave Pasch

"I was waiting for him to bust one." - Terry Gannon (Via Anon)

"There's Taylor Hicks and he dated your wife at Auburn didn't he?"- Terry Gannon

That's cold.

Washington Area Residents Will Give Up A Lot For Cowboys-Skins Tickets

Had this forwarded to me by reader Brenden this morning and couldn't stop laughing. Redskins fans are willing to give up a good bit of coin (and other things) for tickets to tomorrow's game. Via Craigslist.....






Someone seems a tad bit bitter about not being able to get tickets.

I Am Begging Skins/Cowboys Willing To Pay Anything I Mean Anything (Craigslist)

Mike Patrick And Britney Spears (Again!)

Friday, December 28, 2007

The Champs Sports Bowl was coming to an end when Mike Patrick and Todd Blackledge starting chatting about I-Pods and I-Phones (I have no idea why). Well Blackledge decide to ask Patrick if he had Britney Spears on his I-Pod (in reference to Patrick's questioning of the Pop Star early in the year).

Pretty damn funny and it should have stopped there....but of course Mr. Patrick couldn't leave it alone.....

"Do you have Britney Spears on your I-Pod too?"- Todd Blackledge
"No....No.....Fortunately...............She may have lent out the Double Wide. To another family member (giggles uncontrollably)"- Mike Patrick

Who brought jokes? Mike Patrick brought jokes! Seriously....it's a bit old, and Jeff Foxworthy wants his material back.

Mike Patrick Has More Important Things On His Mind (Awful Announcing)

P.S.- I take more pride in that photo than I do the video. Photoshopping a 70s Len Elmore and Mike Patrick getting yelled at by Jamie Lynn while her sister drags her away......that's talent folks!

Bowl Season Open Thread: The Champs Sports, Texas, And Emerald Bowls

We get a trio of games tonight and our first of two NFL Network games. We've got Charles "Mangina" Davis, we've got Mike Patrick, and we've got Chris Spielman! It's going to be a great night. Leave your picks and quotes in the comments and I'll be updating below the previews. Hopefully we'll have as much fun as we did last night....Cheers!

#14 Boston College vs. Michigan State
The Champs Sports Bowl
5:00 PM ET, December 28, 2007
Florida Citrus Bowl , Orlando , FL

Weather: 82 Degrees, Sunny
Spread: BC -6, O/U 58
AA's Pick: BC -6 (Record 6-2)
Announcers: Mike Patrick, Todd Blackledge(ESPN)

Team Leaders

Boston College Passing: Ryan- 60.3%, 4258 Yards, 28 TDs, 18 Ints
Michigan State Passing: Hoyer- 61.5%, 2594 Yards, 18 TDs, 7 Ints

Boston College Rushing: Callendar- 206 Carries, 956 Yards, 4.6 avg, 9 TDs
Michigan State Rushing: Ringer- 224 Carries, 1346 Yards, 6.0 avg, 6 TDs

Boston College Receiving: Gunnell- 58 Catches, 793 Yards, 13.7 avg, 5 TDs
Michigan State Receiving: Thomas- 75 Catches, 1226 Yards, 16.3 avg, 8 TDs

TCU vs. Houston
Texas Bowl
8:00 PM ET, December 28, 2007
Reliant Stadium , Houston , TX

Weather: Dome
Spread: TCU -6.5, O/U 58
AA's Pick: HOU +7, buy the half
Announcers: Brad Sham, Mike Mayock, and Charles Davis (NFL-Network)

Team Leaders

TCU Passing: Dalton- 58.9%, 2210 Yards, 10 TDs, 10 INTs
Houston Passing: Keenum- 69.8%, 1924 Yards, 13 TDs, 10 INTs

TCU Rushing: Turner- 112 Carries, 587 Yards, 5.2 avg, 6 TDs
Houston Rushing: Alridge- 244 Carries, 1568 Yards, 6.4 avg, 14 TDs

TCU Receiving: Dickerson- 37 Catches, 457 Yards, 12.4 avg, 4 TDs
Houston Receiving: Avery- 81 Catches, 1336 Yards, 16.5 avg, 7 TDs

Maryland vs. Oregon State
Emerald Bowl
8:30 PM ET, December 28, 2007
AT&T Park, San Francisco, CA

45 Degrees, Cloudy (30% chance of Rain)
Spread: Oregon State -5.5, O/U 47
AA's Pick: OSU -5.5
Announcers: Sean McDonough, Chris Spielman(ESPN)

Team Leaders

Maryland Passing: Turner- 64.2%, 1753 Yards, 5 TDs, 5 INTs
Oregon State Passing: Moevao- 52.2 %, 836 Yards, 2 TDs, 6 INTs

Maryland Rushing: Lattimmore- 206 Carries, 789 Yards, 3.8 avg, 13 TDs
Oregon State Rushing: Bernard- 237 Carries, 1037 Yards, 4.4 avg, 12 TDs

Maryland Receiving: Heyward-Bey- 48 Catches, 687 Yards, 14.3 avg, 2 TDs
Oregon State Receiving: Brown- 39 Catches, 550 Yards, 14.1 avg, 1 TD

"Did a nice job and really BANGED it!"- Mike Patrick

I never want to hear Mike Patrick use that word like that ever again.

"He actually ran the stairs with TJ Duckett a great NFL player."- Holly Rowe


"And Michigan leads Boston College, 7-0."- Mike Patrick (Via Rick James Bible Owner)

During the ESPN Bowl Rundown, the first words from Lou Holtz concerning the Champs Bowl- 'It's 80 degrees and not a breath of fresh air." (Via Gibbon Jockey)

I'm really upset that Lou isn't doing a pep talk for any of these games. That's a travesty.

"Collander on the carry."- Mike Patrick

It's CALendar.....like well a CALendar.

"The offensive line for BC was just over on the sideline after that last punt getting absolutely hammered...(too long of a pause)...by the BC coaching staff."- Holly Rowe (Via Time For 11)

How many Holly Rowe reports are they going to do in the first half? I think were at 6 now....the last one even included a Brett Favre impression.

"The blow was delivered a little lower."- Mike Patrick

"You mentioned both those picks that Ryan threw. Both coming from Jamie Silva."- Rece Davis

Unless MSU and BC made a trade that's physically impossible Rece.

"They came from ahead to lose."- Brad Sham

"He had it on the tip."- Mike Patrick

"You have an I-Pod and an I-Phone?"- Todd Blackledge
"Anything with an I in it I have it. If they come out with an I-Car I'm buying it."- Mike Patrick
"Do you have Britney Spears on that I-Pod?"- Todd Blackledge
"No.............although I hear she might be renting out that double wide to a family member."- Mike Patrick

WINNER! Video in 15.

"A Quarterback has to keep his hands in and ride that center."- Todd Blackledge (Via Gibbon Jockey)

"I like the chunky kickers we have in this game." - Mike Mayock (Via alienaub)

"Now you know why his teammates call him 'Sweet Pea'." - Charles Davis
"He's got a couple of nicknames. Donny Avery called him a white Michael Vick." - Mike Mayock
"I think Sweet Pea is a little safer." - Brad Sham
(Via alienaub)

Are you serious??? The production one had to be cringing at that one.

"He smelled sack and he got sack"- Chris Spielman (Via Fairplay)

"You noticed something between the two teams Chris. What a dichotomy, if you know what that means, between the two teams."- Rob Stone to Chris Spielman

Breaking News: Jim Leyritz Arrested For Possible DUI Homicide

Ex-Yankee and Radio Host Jim Leyritz has reportedly been arrested this morning at 4:30am for Driving Drunk and striking another car. The woman in the other car was ejected and has passed away from her injuries. Via TMZ...

TMZ has confirmed that Jim Leyritz, a member of the New York Yankees championship teams in the 1990s, is being held at Broward County Jail in Florida, after being arrested for allegedly driving under the influence and causing the death of a woman driving the other car in a collision.

Local10.com of WPLG-TV reports that, according to police, Leyritz was driving a Ford SUV that crashed into another vehicle in downtown Fort Lauderdale early this morning; the other car rolled, and the female driver was ejected and later died.
I don't really have much to add here. Just a terrible thing and hopefully justice will be served.

Ex-Yank Popped for Alleged Vehicular Homicide (TMZ)

(Thanks to Ny for sending the tip in)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 3:33 PM 5 Comments Links to this post

Mark Schelerth Thinks He Can Ride A Dirt Bike, Mark Schelereth Was Wrong

God this made me laugh, and before you say anything.....I was watching First Take for research dammit (yeah....that's it)! Well Mark, er Stinky is one of the hosts for that New Years Eve special that ESPN is airing and he was at practice with one of the performers when he tried to ride a dirtbike......

The best part about the whole thing is that the producer showed the clip 14 times. I guess you CAN forget how to ride a bike.....Paris Hilton would be proud. Mark should probably stick to Soap Operas.

Is Detroit (BASKETBALL!) Ready For Some Gus Action

This is about the best news I've heard in quite some time, and it's even better news for Detroit Pistons fans. Via MTAC....For one night, and one night only, Gus Johnson will be calling a game for his hometown team. How awesome is that? This awesome....

Broadcaster Gus Johnson has covered a lot of big events in nearly two decades -- Olympics, the NFL, NCAA Tournament, play-by-play for the Knicks.

Despite all that, Johnson says broadcasting tonight's Pacers-Pistons game (8, Channel 4) will top his career highlight list.

"I'm just a Detroit boy who grew up loving the Pistons, and now I get to come full-circle for one night," said Johnson, who grew up in the Livernois and Davison area. "I'm nervous, excited, it's getting me a little choked up, really."

Veteran Pistons broadcaster George Blaha will miss the game because of his other job -- broadcasting Michigan State football at the Champs Sports Bowl. "I think Gus is a hard-working, up-and-coming broadcaster in this league," Blaha said. "It's hard for me to miss a game, but I feel good knowing that Gus is a Detroit guy getting to call the game."
That's just good karma right there folks. I wonder if anyone out there knows how many times this has happened before. Sure hometown announcers get to call National games (see Marv Albert), but for a Knicks Announcer to call a Pistons game has got to be extremely rare.

It's times like these I'm glad for the League Pass.

Wait Until Mushnick Hears This One (My Teams Are Cursed)
Johnson subs for Blaha, who is busy with MSU (Detroit News)

Create The Caption #139

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....

"Thank you, thank you, to all the the fans, the players, and staff for such a warm welcome. I am incredibly excited to pitch the first three games of the year here in San Diego....I am also honored to be having my next arm surgery right here, in this great city...."- Nick

"Signed the contract with this hand. Can't hear it? Would you like me to turn it up for you?"- Scranton

"Mark Prior: proving that overrated USC athletes in the pros aren't just limited to their football team."- Anon

"So I get to coach the Chargers if Norv doesn't win a playoff game? Great!"- Michael

"Young Henry Rowengartner shows what caused the doctor to say funky buttlovin after his latest procedure"- Dr. C

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of College Football's new favorite stepson? (Via Deadspin)

Daily Links:

Hey, Someone Found Chris Jessey's My Space Page (The Sporting Orange)
Defending Who You Like (Football For Breakfast)
It's Me Versus MDS For The Ballhype Invitational! (Ballhype)
Uh Oh, Darren McFadden Might Be In Some Hot Water (Hawg Sports)
Getting To Know Jim Sorgi (The Money Shot)
Oh You Silly Trash Talker Phillip Rivers (Rumors and Rants)
More On The Backups That Control The AFC's Final Playoff Spot (First and Ten Inches)