Dr. Lou would like to serve some food, and give you some advice on this wonderful holiday....

Man, Lou was sure stingy with that turkey, wasn't he? Hope you all a great day.

I keep forgetting to tune in for Tuesday night Football on ESPN, but I know now that it's a must watch every single week. Last night Rece Davis, Mark May and Lou Holtz were on the call of the Houston-Marshall game and witnessed one of the worst Sports injuries ever.

For some reason, a douchebag employee at Marshall decided to park a random cart right behind the endzone and Houston Receiver Patrick Edwards ran straight into the thing. You don't notice it at first, but you see just how bad the injury is during the replay....

Well how'd that sit with your lunch? I love how Lou is wondering WHAT is in the carts, and not WHY the damn things are there in the first place.

I was going to make the title "Lou Holtz Temporarily Loses His Mind", but I'm pretty sure it's officially gone at this point. Holtz was doing the late night College Football show with Rece Davis and Mark May late Saturday night/early Sunday, when they decided to have a little debate. Holtz had Tim Tebow, May had Texas QB Colt McCoy and Davis was moderator. Watch as Lou, who thinks they've gone to commercial, flips out after Davis gave the win to May following the debate. Via CFT...

That was just amazingly awkward and somehow still hilarious! The guy never ceases to amaze me. I think I'm going to coin a new term in this spot and that is the "Trainwreckability Scale" (which has no affiliation with Simmons' "Unintentional Comedy Scale"). Right now Lou Holtz's trainwreckabiltiy is sitting at an easy 95 out of 100. After his pep talk this week, he could shoot past 100.

Oh and the other thing is.....he was right. Colt McCoy was not a great QB last year and there were no stipulations about the debate being just for this year or just for one game.

ESPN's Lou Holtz Apologize For Anti-McCoy Tirade (College Football Talk)
Lou Holtz Loves Tim Tebow "DAMNIT!!!" (BSO)

Man, I'm still scrambling because the storm knocked my power out this morning, but I wanted to share the latest Doctor Lou. For some reason Lou broke out his bible this week, but that wasn't nearly the best part. Make sure you watch until Holtz gives this week's "closing thought" and message to the Doc Lou haters....

"If you enjoy Doctor Lou, I hope you will show your support by driving during the day with your lights on. And if you're unhappy with Doctor Lou, please show your displeasure by driving with your lights off at night. Have a great week."- Lou Holtz

Too funny. I honestly thought they'd have run out of ideas and quotes for Dr. Lou by now, but that's obviously not the case. Sorry again for the delay this morning, and let's all pretend we're on the West Coast for the rest of the day.

I know everyone was extremely disappointed when news broke that the Lou Holtz' Pep Talks had been scratched, but I'm throwing my hat in the ring for the Dr. Lou segment right now. Anytime you can get Lou taking messages from Bobby Bowden AND Regis Philbin....you've got a winner.

"Remember, when people need love and understanding the most, is usually when they deserve it the least."

It just doesn't get any better than that and those are words to live by my friends. And the, "wasn't a good honeymoon," line at the end was priceless. I love me some Lou.

No announcers have been assigned as of yet, but I thought I would pass along the first full ESPN/ABC College Football schedule. Kickoff Week starts August 25th with College Football Live and our first game is the clash of the titans between Vandy and Miami U. Dari Nowkhah will be studio host in Atlanta with Robert Smith and Trevor Matich and Rece Davis will lead from Los Angeles with Mark May and Lou Holtz. As previously posted, Gameday will originate from Atlanta for the Alabama-Clemson game, but you can expect a bunch of other shows to originate from the city as well that entire week. Pay attention to the "reverse mirror" info at the bottom and I'll fill in the announcers when I get word.

Also, The Pam Ward Chronicles will be back in full force that week and better than ever. I'm searching for a new logo if anyone is good with photoshop email me, but other than that we're ready to go. It's almost here people!

Here's your schedule....starting making compromises with the ones you love post haste....
__________________

Mon., Aug. 25

College Football Live (ESPN, 3:30pm)

Tue., Aug. 26

College Football Live (ESPN, 3:30pm)

Wed., Aug. 27

College Football Live (ESPN, 3:30pm)
College Football Live (ESPN2, 7pm)

Thur., Aug. 28

College Football Live from Atlanta (ESPN, 3:30pm)
College Football Live Kickoff Special (ESPN, 7pm)
Vanderbilt at Miami-OH (ESPNU, 7:30pm)
Jacksonville State at Georgia Tech (ESPN360, 7:30pm)
Charleston Southern at Miami (ESPN360, 7:30pm)
N.C. State at South Carolina (ESPN, 8pm)
Oregon State at Stanford (ESPN2, 9pm)

Fri., Aug. 29

College Football Live from Atlanta (ESPN, 3:30)
Temple at Army (ESPN Classic, 7pm)
College Football Live (ESPN, 7:30pm)
SMU at Rice (ESPN, 8pm)

Sat., Aug. 30

College GameDay from Atlanta (ESPN, 10am)
Virginia Tech vs. East Carolina from Charlotte (ESPN, Noon)
Syracuse at Northwestern (ESPN2, Noon)
Bowling Green at Pittsburgh (ESPNU, Noon)
Utah at Michigan * (ABC, 3:30pm)
USC at Virginia * (ABC, 3:30pm)
Delaware at Maryland (ESPNU, 3:45pm)
Appalachian State at LSU (ESPN, 5pm)
Mississippi State at Louisiana Tech (ESPN2, 6:45pm)
Boston College vs. Kent State from Cleveland (ESPNU, 7:30)
Alabama vs. Clemson from Atlanta (ABC, 8pm)
Michigan State at California (ABC, 8pm)
Illinois vs. Missouri from St. Louis (ESPN, 8:30pm)
Prairie View at Texas Southern (ESPNU, 10:30pm, Delay)

Sun., Aug. 31

Jackson State vs. Hampton (ESPN2, 2pm)
Kentucky at Louisville (ESPN, 3:30pm)

Mon., Sept. 1

College Football Live from Los Angeles (ESPN, 3pm)
Fresno State at Rutgers (ESPN, 4pm)
College Football Live (ESPN, 7pm)
Tennessee at UCLA (ESPN, 8pm)

(*- “Reverse Mirrors”: As many as 13 (up from eight last year) Saturday afternoon windows will feature innovative coverage in which ABC’s regional telecasts are also offered regionally on ESPN or ESPN2 to markets that are getting another game on ABC. For example, on August 30, ABC will televise Utah at Michigan and USC at Virginia at 3:30 p.m. ET. ESPN2 will “reverse mirror” ABC’s coverage, televising Utah at Michigan in markets receiving USC at Virginia and USC at Virginia to the parts of the country receiving Utah at Michigan.)

Usually teams use quotes from the opposite teams players and coaches, but that's not the case with Ohio State. OSU coaches put together a DVD of all the talking heads saying bad things about them to motivate their players. Public enemy number one...Mark May....

The DVD, created by Ohio State coaches, is a 10-minute compilation of insults, attacks and put-downs of the Buckeyes that followed their disastrous 41-14 loss to Florida in last year's BCS title game.

"I had my grandma watch it with me, and she started crying," Boone said. "She wanted to kill somebody. She said [ESPN's] Mark May was a liar for calling me slow."

Asked for his favorite part, Barton employed his best sarcastic tone.

"We were excited to see the 'PTI' guys," he said. "And I'm a big Mark May fan. He's not a big fan of me, but I have his poster on the wall -- Mark May in a Redskins jersey and a Pitt jersey. I remember him and Woody Paige and Skip Bayless, I'm thankful for their support."

Barton, who joked that he would wear a Mark May throwback jersey later, said the DVD accomplished its mission. "Would it make you mad if I made a DVD of people saying how bad your newspaper article was?" Barton asked a reporter.

I don't know how much that would motivate me, but it would definitely piss me off. I'd love to see this DVD if anyone can put it on YouTube. No not for the site....just to laugh at OSU.

Insults still sting OSU (Chicago Tribune)

I really thought I was going to end the year with the Illinois pep talk, but Lou Holtz just blew (blowed?) my mind. Lou, Rece Davis, and Mark May were talking about the Chick-Fil-A Bowl when Holtz said he wouldn't even go out for New Years Eve because this game is so good. Mark May then responded by saying he's in Bristol and there's nowhere to go. That's when the fun starts.....

Hilarious. Lou's old school Mark! Do NOT mess with him!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!

I would expect something like this to happen in hour 8 as the hosts approached 3am, but I'm afraid this happened right at the top of hour 3. Rece Davis thought they had Florida Head Coach Urban Meyer on the phone. Turned out to be Offensive Coordinator Dan Mullen. Rece caught it right away, but it took the graphics department a little bit longer to figure it out....

I threw the Mack Brown one on there just for the fun of it. It's going to be a long night for Rece Davis.....especially if Mark May keeps chiming in with gems like, "Do an imitation of Urban Meyer!" That gets you the Rece Davis "Hand Wave" Mary May. You be careful son.....Anything could happen at 5:30 in the morning big boy.....anything (Lou Holtz jacked up on Red Bull is not something you want to mess with).

The Programming Details For ESPN's 25-Hour College Football Gimmick (Awful Announcing)

Update from the Comments: "The ESPN.com front page right now...none of this is overkill. No, not at all."- Vegas Watch

Nope....not at all.....

So College Football Live is off to a roaring start, and my complaints are already piling up. Not really on the show, but more on the "talent". In this clip Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit, and Mark May are asked who their "Off The Radar" Players and Teams are. Kirk and Marky Mark give us relatively good sleepers, but Lee Corso just assumes because a team plays late at night (when he's dreaming of pencils) that no one has ever heard of someone...

Hmmm....let's just Google News Mr. Brennan and see what comes up.

(Results 1 - 10 of about 198 from Jul 18, 2007 to today for colt brennan)

That's just the past week. The guy was a 2nd Team All-American and was a finalist for the Davey O'Brien award. He was USA Today's player of the Week in early November, and holds 19 NCAA records.

Yep, that's under the radar. I'll be happy when Corso just goes back to putting on Mascot heads.