Welcome Back Gilbert

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Yeah Yeah Yeah. The Wizards lost in overtime, but after the injury plagued 2nd half of the season last year I just happy to see Gilbert back doing what he does best. Hitting Daggers....

P.S.- Can you PLEASE make some free throws next game?!?! That's all I ask.

The Yankees Lift The ESPN Conference Call Ban, But The Leader Botches It Again

Hilarious article from Neil Best in today's Newsday about the whole ESPN- Yankees on going feud. The Yankees decided to lift the ban on the call and ESPN agreed to air the talk on ESPN Radio on tape delay. Everything was going great until they got to the part where the phone number for the call was supposed to be edited out. The problem? They forgot to edit it out.....

The Yankees yesterday lifted their ban on ESPN dialing into team conference calls, after punishing the network for violating guidelines when it aired live an Oct. 18 call about Joe Torre's departure.

Alas, things still went awry. ESPN carried the Joe Girardi call on a delay on radio and ESPNEWS, but it failed to edit out a reference to the phone number for the call, prompting some fans to try to call in.
I've heard a few of these calls (not ESPN) through various avenues and let me pass along to all fans trying to log on. Don't. They're so boring it's ridiculous. I'm betting you don't care about a reporter from the Peoria Press asking 20 questions in a row just because Joe Giradi was born there.

Also, way to gain that trust back ESPN.

ESPN does a number on Yanks' call (Newsday)

List Of Every NBA Team's Slogan For The 2007-2008

With the NBA Season getting fully underway this evening (i.e.- The Wizards start their season) Sports Business Daily compiled a list of the individual team Slogans for the Season. Some are a little bland I felt like including my own and/or opinions in parentheisis. Why? Because I'm bored, and I have no life.

If you'd like to add yours in the comments feel free to do so.

Hawks- "The Highlight Factory" (The Small Forward Factory)
Celtics- "Think Big" (Think Mortgaging Your Future)
Bobcats- "Elevate" (Come Cry With Me)
Bulls- "Love it Live!" (Campaigning For Kobe!)
Cavaliers- "All for one. One for All." (All by One, No One Else Gets Ball)
Mavericks- "It's All About D" (Ummmm....I think that one's actually perfect considering Mark Cuban is involved)
Nuggets- "Can You Feel It?" (Can I Feel What? Carmelo's Bitch Slaps???)
Pistons- "50 Seasons of Hard Work. That's True Blue Collar." (Rubbing It In To Everyone Who Got Fired From GM In The Last Year)
Warriors- None
Rockets- "It's Time" (Time For What? Another first round loss in the Playoffs?)
Pacers- None (It's okay to come back now....Ron Artest is gone for good.)
Clippers- None (This is actually their slogan....I kid, I kid.)
Lakers- None (Come For The Kwame, Stay For His Cake)
Grizzlies- "New Game" (Brilliant marketing there. Resetting the Season like a video game....every Memphis Fan's wish.)
Heat- "20 Years of Heat/The Heat Experience. Feel it. Live." (Feel It Live Even Though Shaq and Wade Will Play In A Total of 15 Home Games This Year)
Bucks- "Where Amazing Happens" (Way to not be original and just steal the NBA's umbrella slogan)
T'Wolves- "See What They Can Do" (Wait, what who can do? Seriously, I have no idea who's left on the team)
Hornets- "Passion, Purpose, Pride" (Paul, Paul, Paul, Period)
Nets- "More Than a Game" (It's a Domestic Experience!)
Knicks- "Experience Knicks Basketball" (Too easy....pass.)
Magic- "The Time is Now. Be Bold. Be Blue." (I've got nothing, but I was thinking about a JJ Redick Night where all designated drivers get a bobble head or something)
76ers- "Multiple Slogans" (Zero Options On The Floor)
Suns- "Welcome to Planet Orange" (Isn't the Sun a Star? I'm confused)
Trail Blazers- "Rise With Us" (But only if you're 60 year old knees will allow you)
Kings- None (Come Experience Theus....LIVE!)
Spurs- "Team is Everything" (Boring....just like the Spurs)
Sonics- "Be Part of It" (Part of what? The moving crew???)
Raptors- "My Game is Raptors Basketball" (I think a campaign targeting woman surrounding the Andrea would be better)
Jazz- "It's a Pure Adrenaline Rush" (Come Enjoy The Game, We Still Feature 5 White Athletes!)
Wizards- Ready to Rule (By losing to the Cavs again in the Playoffs and Gilbert Opting Out!)

Man that was fun.....I suggest you give it a shot.

Create The Caption #104

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....

"And the Emmy goes to... Suddenly Susan!!!! Sorry, I just always wanted to hear that."- Extra P

"Unfortunately for the crowd, the theater had not checked their Smug Detector's batteries in several years. 2,000 died."- Hard Scores

Sheeeit, this the lit awards right? Cuz my ass high as a muhfuh.- Slater

Are you funny enough to make a caption for this photo of the Warriors newest acquisition? (Pay special attention the placement of the young lad's hands)

Daily Links:

Carl From ATHF Has Some Words For You Isiah Thomas (Adult Swim)
Even The French Can Tell That Easterbrook Is Missing From The Pages of ESPN.com (Bonjour Ici Pierre Vercheval)
AFL Team Offers Money Back Guarantee On Season Tickets If Team Doesn't Make The Playoffs (AZ Sports Hub)
Bill Belichick Planned This All Along! (Diehard Steel)
Ex WWFer Brock Lesnar To The UFC (Rumors and Rants)
What Are The Odds The Pats Go Undefeated? (Vegas Watch)
TNT 's Coverage Missed The Booing Of Kobe (Westside Slant)
Torre To LA? (Rumors and Rants)
Week Nine NFL Previews In Haiku (Tickets of America)
A Nice Look At The Entire Sports Year (Epic Carnival)


I've seen one play in my entire life, and it was Camelot starring Robert Goulet. Greatest play I ever saw. RIP GOUUUUUUUUULET!

A Great Goulet Tribute (Pop Jocks)

You're On Cheryl! Cheryl? Cheryl??? (Plus Other Quotes From Opening Night)

Occasionally you're just chatting it up too much to notice that the Play by Play guy threw it to you. Cheryl Miller had also just done an amazing job interviewing Eva Longoria on her and Tony Parker's nuptials. Who would expect her to be ready for an "actual" report on a player in the game?


“The whole ratings system is full of ****. There’s no way in the world they know who’s watching anything in this country”- Charles Barkley (I tend to agree)

“The key to Brandon Roy is going to be his size.”- Reggie Miller (Umm What?)

“There’s Dean Demopolis who was at Temple under Don Chaney”- Mike Fratello

“The Gardener is Back!”- Mike Fratello after an interview with Eva Longoria

“He should aim for the hoop in the middle”- Mike Fratello after Marv Albert tells the audience that Francisco Elson sees double because of the mask he wears. Double is two Mike….not three. (Via Half Court Heave's live-blog)

And the highlight of the night had to be hearing Charles Barkley call out Skip Bayless and Jay Mariotti for calling the Spurs boring. He said they knew nothing about the sport, which made me fall asleep peacefully and miss the entire 2nd half.

There’s nothing like Charles Barkley putting you to bed at night……err, I’m glad the NBA is back.

So Much Live-Blogging It Will Make Your Eyes Bleed…NBA Opening Night! (Half Court Heave)

Your College Football Announcing Schedule Week 10

Here's you College Football Announcing Schedule for the weekend, and I have to say that something this year is really depressing me. All of Mike Gottfried's games have been on ESPNU, and I haven't got to "experience" a single one. Could you throw me a bone before the end of the season and have Pam and Mike call a "Reunion Big Ten Game" at Noon next week? Thanks.

Here are the teams brought to you by CNNSI's Cheerleader of the Week Brittany Cannon (middle) from South Carolina. Even though Brittany's name sounds very "porn-like" (is it a coincidence that she cheers for the "Cocks"?) her favorite movie isn't of the genre. Brittany lists "Radio" (???) one of her favorite movies as, and her guilty pleasure is Bojangles chicken!

Thursday, November 1

Virginia Tech @ Georgia Tech (ESPN, 7:30 Thu) - Chris Fowler, Doug Flutie, Craig James, Erin Andrews

Friday, November 2nd

Akron @ Bowling Green (ESPNU, 7:30 Fri) - Dave Ryan, Tom Luginbill
Nevada @ New Mexico State (ESPN2, 8:00) - Sean McDonough, Chris Spielman, Rob Stone

Saturday, November 3rd

Purdue @ Penn State (ESPN, 12:00) - Dave Pasch, Andre Ware, Erin Andrews
Iowa @ Northwestern (ESPN2, 12:00) - Pam Ward, Ray Bentley, Rob Simmelkjaer
NC State @ Miami (ESPNU, 12:00) - Clay Matvick, Larry Coker
Wisconsin @ Ohio State (BTN, 12:00) - Thom Brennaman, Charles Davis, Charissa Thompson
Ball State @ Indiana (BTN, 12:00) - Mark Neely, Glen Mason, Dara McIntosh
Nebraska @ Kansas (FSN, 12:30) - Bill Land, Dave Lapham, Emily Jones
Kansas State @ Iowa State (VS, 12:30) - Ron Thulin, Kelly Stouffer, Lewis Johnson
Navy @ Notre Dame (NBC, 2:30) - Tom Hammond, Pat Haden, Alex Flanagan
Michigan @ Michigan State (ABC/ESPN, 3:30) - Brad Nessler, Bob Griese, Paul Maguire, Bonnie Bernstein
Cincinnati @ South Florida (ABC/ESPN, 3:30) - Dave Sims, John Congemi, Quint Kessenich
UCLA @ Arizona (ABC, 3:30) - Dan Fouts, Tim Brant, Todd Harris
Texas @ Oklahoma State (ABC, 3:30) - TBA: Bob Wischusen or Dave LaMont, James Hasty, Joe Schad (Just an educated guess)
Army @ Air Force (CSTV, 3:30) - Tom Hart, Trev Alberts
Maryland @ North Carolina (ESPNU, 3:45) - Doug Bell, Charles Arbuckle, Melissa Knowles
LSU @ Alabama (CBS, 5:00)- Verne Lundquist, Gary Danielson, Tracy Wolfson
Missouri @ Colorado (FSN, 6:30) - Joel Meyers, Gary Reasons, Jim Knox
Arizona State @ Oregon (ESPN, 6:40) - Mike Patrick, Todd Blackledge, Holly Rowe
Rutgers @ Connecticut (ESPNU, 7:15) - Dave Armstrong, Mike Gottfried
Tulsa @ Tulane (CSTV, 7:30) - Carter Blackburn, Brian Jones
Florida State @ Boston College (ABC, 8:00) - Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Lisa Salters
Texas A&M @ Oklahoma (ABC, 8:00) - Ron Franklin, Ed Cunningham, Jack Arute
Oregon State @ USC (ABC, 8:00) - Terry Gannon, David Norrie, Jeannine Edwards
South Carolina @ Arkansas (ESPN2, 8:00) - Mark Jones, Bob Davie, Stacey Dales
Illinois @ Minnesota (BTN, 8:00) - TBA, Chris Martin, Marshall Harris
Washington State @ California (FSN, 10:00) - Barry Tompkins, Petros Papadakis, Jim Watson

Sunday, November 4

SMU @ Houston (ESPN, 8:00 Sun) - Eric Collins, Bill Curry, Dave Ryan

This is as accurate that we can get this week and don't get mad at me if something changes and you somehow don't get Erin Andrews at Beaver Stadium.

(Man sorry about all of the undertones in that post. I just re-read it and......What am I saying? I'm not sorry....I'm proud!)

Your NFL Announcing Schedule Week Nine (Plus A CBS Bonus!)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Who called it? That's right....yours truly predicted FOX's #1 Team would be covering Favre this weekend. Also.....could there be a worse set of matchups this weekend? I mean there's not one game I would want to watch. Oh wait.....Nantz and Simms might have got the only one. Oh and if you live in California you might want to by DirecTV before the weekend. You'll be about the only folks in the country not getting "The Game of the Century"!!! If you live in the blue area below....it's Houston-Oakland for you!

Well here are the rest of you crews and where they'll be for Week Nine brought to you by YOUR Miami Dophins Cheerleaders.....Live from London, England!!!

1PM Games


San Diego @ Minnesota - Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf
Jacksonville @ New Orleans - Dick Enberg, Randy Cross
Denver @ Detroit - Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon
Cincinnati @ Buffalo - Ian Eagle, Solomon Wilcots


Green Bay @ Kansas City - Joe Buck, Troy Aikman
Washington @ NY Jets - Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnson, Tony Siragusa
Carolina @ Tennessee - Dick Stockton, Brian Baldinger
San Francisco @ Atlanta - Matt Vasgersian, J.C. Pearson
Arizona @ Tampa Bay - Ron Pitts, Tony Boselli

4PM Games


New England @ Indianapolis - Jim Nantz, Phil Simms
Houston @ Oakland - Gus Johnson, Steve Tasker


Seattle @ Cleveland - Sam Rosen, Tim Ryan

Week 10 CBS Bonus!

1:00 PM, ET starts:

Denver @ Kansas City - Greg Gumbel/Dan Dierdorf
Jacksonville @ Tennessee - Kevin Harlan/Rich Gannon
Buffalo @ Miami - Gus Johnson/Steve Tasker
Cleveland @ Pittsburgh - Jim Nantz/Phil Simms

4:15 PM, ET starts:

Cincinnati @ Baltimore - Dick Enberg/Randy Cross

The College Schedule is coming, but is still being worked on. The ASU-Oregon game threw everything and everyone for a loop. I don't think ESPN knows where it's sending half of its teams.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:08 PM 21 Comments Links to this post

The NBA Is Back Baby!

What's the NBA Season kicking off without the Knicks telling you their favorite Halloween costumes? Nothing I tell you! NOTHING!!!

My personal favorite is David Lee at about the 17 second mark

AA's Predictions:

East- 1) Det, 2) Bos, 3)Wash, 4) Mia, 5) Chi, 6)Cle, 7) NJ, 8) Tor
West- 1) Phx, 2) SA, 3) Dal, 4) Hou, 5) Den, 6) Utah, 7) LAC, 8) NOK

Eastern Conference Championship- Detroit over Washington
Western Conference Championship- San Antonio over Phoenix
NBA Finals- Detroit over San Antonio

ROY- Kevin Durant
MVP- Kevin Garnett
Coach- Byron Scott (NOK)

Kornheiser Returns To DC Radio, Departure From MNF Imminent?

This seems like as good a time as any to start a completely baseless rumor based on an already existing rumor (turned true), but here goes. Yesterday, local DC Radio blog/website DCRTV reported that Tony has definitely signed on for a return to radio.....

Washington Post superstar sports columnist Tony Kornheiser (left) will return to his radio program live in-studio on talker 3WT beginning 1/21. The show will air weekdays from 8 AM to 10 AM, with a 2 PM to 4 PM replay. There had been some doubt as to whether Kornheiser would return to 107.7 FM and 1500 AM, which was known as Washington Post Radio until September, when it became 3WT.
Hmmm a full time radio gig plus PTI....that wouldn't leave much room for Monday Night Football now would it? Tony's MNF contract is only going year to year, so my guess is that either he's gotten word they may be going in another direction, or that he no longer enjoys the situation.

If that's the case.....Hallelujah! Please go back to doing what you do good. That's radio and PTI...period. So what's the rumor that I'm adding on top of this? It's one that's already been hinted at by many, but I want it to go on record.....

He will be replaced by Jimmy Kimmel. Hey, I predicted Tiki to NBC Sports the day he retired....I mind as well try it again. I think the in-booth shenanigans two weeks ago and the "banning" of Kimmel were all a bit of window dressing.

(It's fun to play the conspiracy theory game every once and awhile, and thanks to Odessa Steps for the tip.)

They Get Away With Everything In Canada

I'll stay away from the whole health care issue when talking about Canada today and just speak to what I know. Announcing. I'm pretty sure in America the term "shoot their wad" isn't acceptable in the world of Broadcasting.....

We assume Toronto Argonauts commentator Adrion Smith knows what the term means. If so, maybe he doesn't understand that the term is inappropriate. Three times during the radio broadcast of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers-Argos game last Saturday, Smith expressed concern that the Argos may "shoot their wad."
I hope at least a few of you can figure out the picture at the top.

Truth & rumours (Toronto Globe and Mail....near the bottom of the page)

(Thanks to Mike for the tip....no pun intended)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 1:50 PM 10 Comments Links to this post

Create The Caption #103

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....

Best of Lowell:

"Lowell was concered when he discovered that, instead of world series rings, they were getting pearl necklaces."- Matt

"The Red Sox celebrate their win with a game of drink from the fire hose."- Hollywood Wags (UHF reference...nice.)

"All right, who let Johnny Damon in?"- Anon

"Career resurgence past the age of thirty: $350,000 worth of HGH
Winning the World Series MVP: $500,000 bonus
Getting a Golden Shower from Pedro's midget: Priceless."- Anon

Best of Streaker:

"You know, Ed Hochuli can do the same thing. Except he doesn't use his arms."- Todd

"Hey weren't you the wirey kicker in The Replacements?"- Jeremy

"Damn, coach Coughlin made you do that s**t too?"- Anon

Are you funny enough to make a caption for this photo of Tiki Barber receiving a literary award from Brooke Sheilds? (Thanks to Lozo for the Lowell photo)

Daily Links:

How Do You Fall Up An Escalator? (Gizmodo via MI)
Details on the Red Sox Rolling Rally (Sox and Dawgs)
How Do You Score 68 Points And Lose? (Five on Five)
Life As An Assistant CBB Coach (Meaningful Collateral)
An Interview With Larry Csonka (Phin Phanatic)
If You Live In The Dallas/Fort Worth Area, Juan Pablo Montoya May Be Filling You Upp Today (Lion In Oil)
Another Hilarious Fantasy Humor Video (You Tube)
Torre To LA? (Rumors and Rants)
Toronto And The Bills (Food Court Lunch)
How Cal Ripken Hurt The O's (Crashburn Alley)
Cheap Halloween Costume Ideas (The Sports Hernia)

Breaking News: ESPN's Attempt At Acquiring The ASU-Oregon Game Succeeds (An Update)

So I broke the news last night that ESPN had acquired the ASU-Oregon game this Saturday and I wanted to pass along some of the particulars that they released today....

Through an agreement with the Pac-10 Conference and Fox Sports Net, ESPN has added the conference showdown between undefeated #4 Arizona State and #5 Oregon to its national television schedule for Saturday, Nov. 3. ESPN will also offer the game – with coverage beginning at 6:40 p.m. ET – in high definition on ESPN HD. Mike Patrick, Todd Blackledge and Holly Rowe will call the game.

Originally scheduled to be only televised locally in Oregon, Arizona and Southern California, the matchup will be been by a national audience through the agreement of the two networks and the conference. ESPN will show the matchup across the United States except Arizona, Oregon, Southern California and New Mexico where Fox Sports Net will televise the game. The Oregon Sports Network will distribute the game in the state of Oregon.

With the addition of the game, Oregon State at #19 USC will be televised on ABC in the Saturday Night Football window at 8 p.m. (along with Florida State at #2 Boston College and Texas A&M at #6 Oklahoma) and South Carolina at Arkansas will be on ESPN2 at 8 p.m.
Again....ESPN did an amazing job of bringing this top game to the masses. So much so that I won't even make fun of them for putting Mike Patrick on the call. Good job....America thanks you.

Breaking News: ESPN's Attempt At Acquiring The ASU-Oregon Game Succeeds
College Gameday Goes Back To Oregon (Awful Announcing)

2007-2008 NBA Announcing Preview: TNT

I don't know what more needs to be said about TNT's coverage of the NBA, but just know that they are better than ESPN in every facet of their coverage. I'm going to try to make this as quick as possible as there's other items to get to today. Feel free to skip it because as I'm just going to be (mostly) praising TNT for the next few paragraphs.

Let's get into it shall we?

Click Here If You Care To Read The ESPN Announcing Preview

The Studio Team:

I did a sort of case study in NBA Broadcasting as my preview last year, which detailed how TNT destroys ESPN in every facet of their Broadcast. Most importantly was having a likable Studio Show that had actual analysis and was somewhat entertaining. So did ESPN listen to me?

Of course not. They now have a Studio Team of Stu Scott, Stephen A. Smith, and Bill Walton. Perhaps the most ridiculous collection of people to discuss Sports this side of the "Sports Reporters".

The only knock on EJ, Kenny, and Charles is that they are very polarizing. You either love them or you hate them with most of the Basketball Community agreeing on the former. They'll have plenty to talk about in the early part of the season especially given Charles' history of gambling and the Donaghy Scandal that took place in the offseason. Charles is also already pissing of an entire city (last year was Oakland/GS) by stating that the Cleveland Cavs won't make the Playoffs.

The Announcing Teams:

Your lead team for this year is Marv Albert and Reggie Miller as Steve Kerr's departure to work for the Suns opened up that door for Miller. Most of you know me as a "Miller Hater", but I've started to come around on him a bit. The main thing he's got going for him is that he's not Mark Jackson, and working with Marv and Mike Fratello will make anyone instantly better. Pairing Miller with the aging Stockton last year was a huuuuuge mistake. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm giving him another chance, but just one.

As far as the backup team.....I have to be honest and say that I have no idea who it is. TNT does an awful job of getting information out and I guess we won't know who's on the call until tonight's night game. I'm positive Doug Collins will be an analyst, but will it be with Dick Stockton, Kevin Harlan, Gary Bender, or someone else. Rex Chapman was also in the mix last year, but I don't know if he's back again this year.

Update: TNT got back to me about the rest of the crews. Team #2 is Kevin Harlan and Doug Collins, "On several select games throughout the season Albert will call games alongside Collins, with Harlan and Miller forming the second broadcasting tandem for TNT’s doubleheaders. Reporting from the sidelines will be Craig Sager, Cheryl Miller and the TNT Insider David Aldridge, while John Thompson will serve as a guest analyst and special contributor."

I'm okay with all of that, but please.....less John Thompson.

The Rest of the Cast:

Again, I'm not sure of who the rest of the players are besides Craig Sager, his loud sport coats, and Cheryl Miller. David Aldridge should be coming back to work sidelines again, and there could always be a Charles "Mangina" Davis sighting as well. God forbid.

2007-2008 NBA Announcing Preview: ESPN (Awful Announcing)
2006-2007 TNT Announcing Preview (Awful Announcing)

(Barkley and Sager Photos via the Screen Grabbingly Awesome Sports Hernia)

Deana Favre, Best MNF Guest Ever

Yes. Better than Vince Vaughn, Christian Slater, Jimmy Kimmel....even Sir Charles. I was riveted when she was in the booth explaining how different it is for her to watch a game than the guys in the booth. Jaws follows probably 14 different things at once, but when she explained that she rarely ever takes her eyes of her husband it was something I hadn't thought about. It made me think (shocking I know) about how many different ways, different people watch a Sporting Event and especially something as complex a game as Football.

Yes, she was also promoting her book, but this time her promo was actually relevant. It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month.....it's not some cheesy movie, it's a promo for a late night talk show, it's not a promo for Desperate Housewives, and it's not "whatever Christian Slater was in the booth for". It was a great interview and the only other one that comes close was the Spike Lee appearance for the first game back in New Orleans after Katrina.

Deanna was so good she even got Tony to say that she's better than him in the booth! I don't think anyone's ever gotten those words to come out of his mouth. I someone erased the rest of her appearance, but here's the outro.

Also, what's with Tony Kornheiser and talking about women with every guest? He almost posed a Who Would You Do? question to James Denton last year, and has said "Kelly Ripa is hot" and "She smells better than I do" this year.

Never Bet Against Brett Favre......Period.

MNF Live-Blog: Packers-Broncos - 2nd Half

Monday, October 29, 2007

13-7 at the half and the Broncos are lucky it isn't more. (Naked Jake the Snake via The Onion)

Wow....they had to run the intro again? Come on.

Packers ball to start the half, and the Broncos give them yet another gift on a penalty after a defensive holding call. James Jones gets another grab and the Pack are moving it all over the Broncos. Well until then.....Favre runs a play action, roll out to no one and that's never going to work. Sack Broncos. Screen goes nowhere, and it's third and long.....

Nothing doing, and the Packers punt on their first drive in the 3rd. Broncos ball at their own twenty.

Whoa a whole white drum corps for the Broncos....only in Denver.

Play action pass to Marshall picks up a bunch on first down, and the Broncos are in business. Run from Selvin and he picks up a good bit. Illegal Contact on the Packers and that'll give the Broncos another first down.

Jaws did just give great numbers on the Broncos and their percentages regarding Play Action.....these are the stats I want and need. Great play call of the sneak on third down and another first for the Broncos. A couple of screens net negative yards, but pick up the first as Cutler hits Martinez for the first.

Yet another penalty negates a first down by the Broncos and this is just getting ridiculous....there's a penalty on every play. And ANOTHER holding call. Just give me Vince Vaughn and let's end this thing.

I want to take the time to say that Kampman is perhaps the most underrated Defensive Player in the National Football League. The guy just keeps working.

Elam with the FG and it's 13-10 GB.

"Lynch has his pads off and a knit cap on, and it doesn't look like he's coming back in."- Michele Tafoya

You think Michelle with on L?!?!

"If the broncos don't change up their obviously ineffective defence, then they are in deep shit."- Dummy

You think Dummy?!?! Just kidding.

Favre had a receiver, but he loses the ball somehow. Vince Vaughn after the break!!!

"I'm sorry I'm a little distracted that cheerleader just got done doing a routine."- VV

Vince mentions the NFL Network and Tirico gets testy. Didn't see that one coming.

"Those are the throws I make when I play on All-Madden unfortunately."- VV

Huuuuuge run by Hall which is negated by a bad penalty call on a hold by Marshall. That's followed by a reverse, a no-throw, a scramble and a loss of 4 by Brandon Marshall. Should have been a loss of twenty. Someone should tell them that they can throw the ball out of bounds.

Mike Tirico informs us that this false start is the 20th of

"Our scientific crew says that was a 70 yards of running for a loss of three."- Mike Tirico

Punt from the Broncos, and Vince Vaughn is not getting a word in at all. Broncos punt hits inside the five.

"If you're having trouble understanding the game, Steve Young and Emmitt Smith will explain it to you."- Kenny Mayne


"Movie Talk, Movie Talk, Movie Talk."

Annnnnnnnnnd Vince is gone! Was that even worth it?

Favre hits Driver on third down and that's a dagger. He's done it so many times before but it never gets old. He hits James Jones for another first down, and Denver looks like they're back peddling again.

Two runs net about 1 yard, and it's another 3rd down and long opportunity for the Broncos to get the ball back......

Incomplete. Great pass rush, and Champ Bailey would have gone the other way with that one if not for the hit at the line. Broncos ball at their own five.

Cutler starts out with a fade route to Schef and gets the interference penalty on Atari. Selvin Young gets zippy on first down, and that's your two-minute warning.

Jay Cutler hits Stokley with a 7-yarder on third down, and the Broncos call timeout on 4th and short. This is the game....

Stokley grabs the out on the man to man coverage....great play. Incomplete on first....

HUUUUUUGE Gain by Marshall! 35 yards, and the penalty is on Green Bay! First down Broncos and they're in FG range. SELVIN YOUNG WITH THE RUN OF THE NIGHT!!!! Down to the 3 yard line!!!! Timeout Denver.

Well my computer crapped out at the end of that game so I'll just put up the video, and if it gets taken down it gets taken down.

Elam. Favre. Game. Never bet against him. Ridiculous.

Deanna/Brett Favre MNF Intro

I think Deanna Favre is courageous woman, but this is a little much for a Week Nine Monday Night Matchup if you ask me. I'll let you be the judge....

More to come on this tomorrow, but I'm going on record and proclaiming that Deanna Favre was the best guest MNF has ever had. I'm not kidding either....no matter how cheesy and unneccesary this intro was.

Emmitt Smith's Analogies Need Some Work

Just another piece of evidence for when I get called into the "Fire Emmitt Smith" court case.....

I give up!

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 8:53 PM 8 Comments Links to this post

MNF Live-Blog: Packers vs. Broncos - Pregame and 1st Half

So the lovefest for Brett Favre begins tonight at 8:30 on ESPN. Tony K and the boys will be praising his every interception (sorry for the pic...thought it was worth it though). I'll meet you in this spot sometime soon. Hopefully for some good Emmitt soundbytes.

Who: Packers and Broncos
What: Football Americano
When: 8:30 pm on ESPN
Where: Invesco Field, Denver, Colorado
Why: For Total World Domination
How: Jay Cutler with the Rope in the Study
Weather: 48 Degrees, Partly Cloudy
Spread: Denver -3, O/U 43.5

Who ya got for tonight?

Anybody Want Some Breaking College Football News? Look below this post, or click that link.

Great job by ESPN to pull that off.

"If I'm playing Baseball and I'm up 15 points what do I do?"- Keyshawn Johnson

Ah, those Baseball points are tough to come by....I say you putt for it.

Tony Kornheiser breaks out a Bob Dylan quote, and I think I just fell asleep. Good job Tony. Emmitt Smith needs to be fired. I don't know how much I meant it last year with Theismann, but I'm 100% ready for him to go. I would take ANYONE over him.

"So tonight his looking to get back to pay dirt, so he can right size this ship."- Emmitt Smith

Comparing Brett Favre to Michael Jordan makes me sick. Just stop please. Oh god this intro is making me sick. Screw it.....I'm just going to enjoy the game. Deanna is a great wife and this is not her doing. Ugh.

Kickoff time.....

Denver ball at the twentyish....yep I just invented a word like Emmitt Smith. A few passes, a few runs and Selvin Young picks up the second first down of the drive. Scheffler has a nice grab on a bullet from Cutler.

The Broncos have the guy supposedly responsible for the killing of Darrent Williams and recent DUI recipient Brandon Marshall introduce the Denver Offense. Good choice.

Broncos punt and your God is out on the field. Mr. Favre hit Driver for a few on first down.....Jennings has a drop on second down, and it's third and long for the Packers. Champ Bailey picks up the screen and that's a three and out for The Favres.

Barrel Man!!!!!! Good to see you're doing okay!

"He's sort of like the Brett Favre of Barrel Men."- Tony Kornheiser

Cutler hits Graham for a first down, and the ex-Patriot has some nice grabs early. That's followed by a Selvin Young screen for a first down, and the Broncs are driving. Huge play to Stokley and the Broncos will have it inside the ten after a late hit and 22 yard pass.

TOUCHDOWN BRONCOS! After a pass interfence call, Jay Cutler hits Sheffler for a score and the Broncos strike first.

"I probably shouldn't say this, but that's more scoring than the Rockies got in four games."- Tony Kornheiser


"You know what I would love to see? John Madden in the booth tonight. Then, everytime Korny would start to jerk off about the Pats and Colts, John Madden would start screaming about Brett Favre. It would make for some good TV."- Keyser Soze

I think the world would implode.

WOW! Favre hits James Jones who burns Champ Bailey and after a run hits pay dirt! 79 Yards.

7-7 Tie.

"John Lynch was down in the box."- Ron Jaworski


"It's all about the probing Jaws."- Tony Kornheiser

Double Eww.

That's it I'm naming my kid Atari. The Pack are racking up the penalties and are giving the Broncos a ton of opportunities.

"You've always liked Cutler....it's like you're developing a man crush on him."- Tony Kornheiser to Jaws

Kinda like yours on Brady??? Great screen to Young and the Broncos have it inside the ten again. 13 first downs for the Broncos in the first quarter! I and every other Redskins fan is jealous.

"It's a lot of fun to watch offensive-coordinator/head coach Mike Shanahan coordinate his offense." - Jaws
(Via S2N)

Cutler fumbles at the one, and the Packers recover!!!!! Ouch that hurts big time.

Favre hits the TE Lee for a first down and the Pack have taken over momentum very quickly. Defensive holding added onto a five yard run, and that's another first down.

"Starting at right tackle, the President of Justin Timberlake's Fan Club...Chad Clifton."- Packer Guard, Mark Tauscher introducing the lineups in the 2nd qurter.

Tafoya reports that John Lynch is a little banged up and that's yet another bad sign for the Broncs. Favre picks up yet another first on third down, and the Packers are nearing midfield.

Lee from Favre again for the 3rd time. Another first. Grant picks up another first on a 22 yard run, and the Packers are inside the 20. A 12-men on the field penalty to follow, and the Broncos are just back peddling now.

Grant picks up another first down to the five after getting nailed. I personally would have fumbled it, but Grant is a pro and hangs on. Another Grant run to the 3....Second and Goal. Pass to Driver.....he's knocked out by Bailey. No force out call and it's 3rd and Goal....


3rd and Goal from the 5.....

They run the ball?!?! Stopped at the one by DJ Williams.....great tackle. 4th and Goal.....FG attempt by Mason Crosby.....

10-7 Pack......Deanna's in the booth when we come back from commercial!

"This being Breast Cancer Awareness Month."- Mike Tirico

Dammit Mike! Listen to Nessler, it's Breast Awareness month!!!

I'm actually kind of into this interview because it gives you a look into what the wives are feeling. I couldn't imagine not watching the ball in the air, but they are all probably like Deanna and don't watch the ball and just their Man.

Tony just plans on asking all the questions this interview. Deanna is actually a pro and I'm very impressed by her ability to stop talking before the play goes off.

The Packers continue to run it up the gut at the Broncos and Favre is driving up and down the field. What else would you expect?

"If you can pick Donald Driver up, I think you can pick me up."- Deanna Favre

Oooooh I hate to call Shenanigans on you after a pretty okay interview Deanna, but that player he picked up was Greg Jennings.

"Keep Deanna and I'll just leave. She's better than I am, prettier than I am, more animated than I am....."- Tony Kornheiser
"And she smells better than you. I'll tell you that.....hit the showers."- Jaws
"Thanks."- Deanna Favre

"Oooooh I hate to call Shenanigans on you after a pretty okay interview Deanna, but that player he picked up after the record breaking TD was Greg Jennings." He started that routine with Driver, idiot.- Anon

Umm ass....they were talking about the record breaking touchdown. Who caught that again? I forget already. Thanks for playing.....idiot.

After yet another Packers FG...Denver has another 3 and out. If the Packers could get some TDs this game would be over.

That's the half.....hopefully Vince Vaughn will be nearly as exciting as Deanna Favre in the booth. It's 13-7 Pack after one....see you in a new thread after PTI at the Half.

Breaking News: ESPN's Attempt At Acquiring The ASU-Oregon Game Succeeds

For all of the ESPN "Nonsense" that I give you on this site there's the one or two great things that they put together. According to a great source......

ESPN has actually pulled off their attempt in carrying the ASU-Oregon game this Saturday! The word is that it will at 6:40 and that it will be blacked out in Oregon and Arizona, but he local telecast will still show the game.

I want to personally thank ESPN for their attempt to get the game to the masses, and for somehow succeeding. It's not often I say that, so print it out and put it on the fridge!

Click Here For The Update On The Particulars Surrounding The Game

Whoa I Jumped The Gun, Vince Vaughn Isn't The Only Guest(s) On MNF

That's right there's another special friend we'll get to see at the beginning of the telecast......

Deanna Favre, wife of Packers QB Brett Favre, will speak over the opening tease to ESPN’s “MNF” broadcast. Deanna will highlight some of her husband’s career achievements. Broncos S John Lynch will wire a microphone for the telecast, which will also feature music from the Eagles' new record, “Long Road Out of Eden.”- SBD
Yes! A completely not funny sketch featuring Brett Favre's wife AND I get the Eagles as a bonus!??!!?!?11?!!1

Hell yeah! See you folks at 8pm for the live-blog! It's going to be a blast!!! Hopefully Jaws can analyze how Brett pulled of having a mistress in the Packers front office for all those years.....allegedly.

Wait Guys! There's Something Wrong With The Banner........Oh No......

I'm not lying when I say I've watched this video about fourteen times already. I was slow in getting it up because I was laughing so hard. Watch as this cheerleader from a highschool in the state of Washington tries to fix her precious little sign right before the team is supposed to run through.

Nice "Dances With Wolves" reference in there by the Sportscaster, but did you have to repeat it 20 times in a row like that at the end? That's just wrong.

Your Monday Night Football Guest This Week Is (GASP!).......

Yep, that's right it's Jennifer Aniston's F-Buddy himself.....

Mr. Vincent Anthony Vaughn! He of course has a new movie to promote, but at least me know that he likes Sports. Let's get him all liquored up before the game, and have Tony ask him about Aniston just to see what happens. We might be able to rid ourselves of Kornheiser in one swing.

I guess there could be worse choices, and as long as he's in there as short as Russ Crowe was....I'm good.

Create The Caption #102

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Friday's Winners....

"An actual photo of Plaxico Burress phoning it in."- paul

"You hang up first!....Nooo You hang up first!! C'mon, you do it!! Noo I love you more! Yes I do! Uh-huh! Oh stupid Eli is calling on the other line, I gotta go...Bye Tiki-wiki!!!!"- Mez

"Tiki? Uh .. Tiki ... let me think ... Tiki .. nope .. never heard of him. Sorry I can't accept the collect charges."- Jay

"Hello, is this Manning Quarterbacks Inc? Yes, I was just calling to ask about your return policy. Why yes, I am calling about the Eli Model..*click* Hello? Hello?"- Kevin

"Hello, Jenny? Is this 867-5309?"- Anon (So bad it's funny)

We're doubling it up today! Are you funny enough to make a caption for one of these photos? (Thanks to Lozo for the Lowell photo)

Daily Links:

Scaring News Anchors Is Fun (Live Leak)
A Mini Ryan Howard? (Bugs and Cranks)
These Are A Few Of Andy Reid's Favorite Things (The Viking Age)
What If Bill Simmons Were To Cover WWII? (Wrigleyvile)
Is Grady Sizemore Overrated? (I'm Writing Sports)
Who Is This Amy K. Nelson You Speak Of? (MC Bias)
An NHL Recap From Last Week (Pop Jocks)
Shame On You Scott Boras (Simon on Sports)
A Nice NFL Recap Not Made Up Of Quotes (Shakedown Sports)
Who Are The Top Candidates To Turn Into Pumpkins? (Armchair GM)
Let's Go Flip Some Cars Red Sox Nation! (Red Sox Monster)
No Way Derek Anderson Goes To The Pro Bowl, Wait A Tic...Could He? (First and Ten Inches)

.....and Lastly........

WE HATE THAT STUPID ROBOT FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care if you turn him into Pumpkinhead....

Report: Fox apparently still hates you (The Sports Hernia)

The Pammy Awards Week 9

First of all I want to call shenanigans on the fact that Pam wasn't on a game this past weekend. She would have surely taken over the number one spot. But alas, it's the continual barrage of Britney Spears comments that have pushed one Michael Patrick into the lead.

10. "They look like a contender for number one."- Brent Musburger on Ohio State

9. "You cut yourself shaving, you bleed for a week" - Gary Danielson (Via Smed)

8. "This is just a reminder, but there really isn't a yellow line on the field at the first down marker."- Dave Lamont (Via Dollar Dollar Bill)

7. "He's seeing double right now. Just like Maguire on Thursday night." - Brad Nessler (Via S2N)

6. "Tom Arnold from Ottumwa, Iowa -- his movie career turned about as successful as Robert Gallery's pro career." - Dave Pasch, after a segment proclaiming Arnold the Iowa Hawkeyes' biggest fan. ZING! (Via S2N)

5. "The only player in the Big East to win a Heisman Trophy? Trick question: Gino Torretta for Miami in 1992."- Brad Nessler
"But Miami wasn't in the Big East at the time."- Bob Griese
"Yes they were."- Brad Nessler (Via Anon, and Griese gets the points)

4. Corso: "I've got Boston College in at #5 because I had to get someone from the Big East in my Top 5."
Fowler: "You know they're in the ACC?"
Corso: "Someone from the East Coast. They should be in the Big East."
(Via Anon, points to Corso)

....."and when you throw to him and he runs into the official and BOOM...(pause)...goes the dynamite."- Verne Lundquist (Via Dummy and Chaz)

2a. "Can you get it up every week. . . consistently?"- Craig James (Via Kyle)

2b. "Good to see Rob Stone's Curves workout pan out....he can lift up the milk can, that was nice."- Chris Spielman

1. "And South Carolina is going to take this to overtime. I'm going to have to think about what is happening in Britney Spears' live before we come back." - Mike Patrick
"I wonder if she's watching tonight." - Todd Blackledge
"I think she just bought a new double wide." - Mike Patrick

Here are the standings after eight weeks........

1. Mike Patrick (43)
2. Brad Nessler, Gary Danielson (40)
4. Chris Spielman (32)
5. Pam Ward (29)
6. Lee Corso (28)
7. Bob Griese (22)
8. Dave Pasch (20)
9. Pat Haden, Paul Maguire (19)

Others Receiving Votes: Andre Ware (16), Ray Bentley (16), Craig James (11.5), Tim Brandt (11), Brent Musburger (11), Dave Lapham (10), Gerry Dinardo (9), Dave Lamont (9), Lou Holtz (9), Verne Lundquist (9), Tom Hart (8), Bill Curry (8), Ed Cunningham (8), Mark Jones (7), Mellissa Knowles (7), Thom Brennaman (7), Sean McDonough (7), John Saunders (6), Quint Kessenich (6), Holly Rowe (5), Charles Arbuckle (5), Mike Tirico (4), Dan Fouts (4), Doug Flutie (3.5), Desmond Howard (3), Jim Donnan (3), Erin Andrews (3), Todd Blackledge (2), Jim Kelly (1)

Peter Gammons Is Not Happy With A-Rod And Boras

A couple people emailed this to me, so I figured I'd throw up the video of Peter Gammons going off regarding the timing of the A-Rod contract opt out.

Amen Peter. Glad to see someone at ESPN has their priorities straight. It was refreshing after having both the game and Sports Center on last night. Scott Van Pelt had to interview just about everyone on Baseball Tonight over the phone about the A-Rod thing. In the meantime I was watching the Red Sox celebrate on the field.

How does anyone who knows about Sports portray to ESPN that no one cares about Torre and A-Rod when the Playoffs are happening?

10 Quotes That Should Cover Everything From Your NFL Sunday

Oooooooh very spooky FOX!

10. “I misread the memo, they played in England today and I came with you to NEW England.”- Kenny Albert (Not funny AT all)

“He has the opportunity to tune up for next week’s game with the Redskins.”- Keyshawn on Tom Brady (Kinda nitpicky, but he was so adamant when he said it)

8. “It was in the front, first row.”- Randy Cross (This was after saying a pass landed in the third row)

7. “Roethlisberger comes on the field again.”- Dick Enberg (Coming from a guy named Dick...that's pretty nasty)

6. “He wasn't untouched, but he wasn't touched enough."- Dick Stockton (Via Tim....Too funny)

5. “And that was over in an eyelash.”- Dick Stockton

4. "Feels like a playoff game, a Super Bowl!"- Thom Brennamen (A Playoff game with the Dolphins?)

3. "He's got pictures of somebody there."- Boomer Esiason on Rex Grossman being the Bears’ QB next year (I hope it's more drunken shots of Orton)

2. “Nobody was sure if they’d be playing Football in San Diego today with good reason. Fires continue to burn throughout Southern California.”- Chris Berman (See Chris....that's NOT a good reason)

1. “The shot clock was running down and managed to call a timeout before it ran out.”- Dick Stockton (I give up on you Stockton lovers....I just can't take him anymore)

I have video on the Dick Stockton debacle, but I'm having trouble getting it edited. Dick was basically on fire yesterday. The Shot Clock comment came within the first two minutes of the game, and it was just down hill from there. The funniest part is that Brian Balldinger immediately felt the need to call it a Play Clock and went into a diatribe on how hard it is to see it in Metrodome. It was downright hilarious.

Hopefully I'll get another 10 from the Monday Night Live-Blog, and feel free to add any I missed.

Look Out Al Michaels, A Hollywood Actor Is After Your Job

This is perhaps the oddest thing I've written on the site, but unbeknownst to me (and most of the world)....John Cusack called the Dolphins-Giants game for the BBC yesterday.

October 28, 2007 -- Is John Cusack going to be the next John Madden? The star of the upcoming flick "Grace is Gone" is in London this weekend to do color commentary on BBC Radio for today's Giants-Dolphins game at Wembley Stadium, the first-ever regular- season NFL game outside North America. "He's going to have to his hands full deciphering the meaning of touchdown, sack and interception to audiences used to hearing 'Goal!' and playing football with their feet," one insider said.

Top 5 Announcers You'd Love to Call The Birth of Your First Child.

5. John Madden, "You see what she needs to do right here is push, that way the baby can be born. Boom! There's the head. You could drive a truck through that hole."
4. Joe Buck, "This is a DISGUSTING act!"
3. Keith Jackson, "Whoa Nellie.....that's a nine pounder!"
2. Marv Albert, "Yes! And it's a girl!!!"
1. Gus Johnson, "The LAMAZE is doing it's thing......I SEE THE SHOULDERS!.........OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I Can't Believe it!!!!!!!!!!! Name that baby TYUS EDNEY BECAUSE THAT BIRTH WAS CLUTCH!"

(I hope at least a few of you got that)

The Red Sox Win The World......Holy S**t, A-Rod Opted Out Of His Contract!!!

If I was Joe Buck and FOX I'd have the post follow the title, but lets just forgot about A-Rod (since he'll be on the Red Sox next year anyway) and let Boston celebrate.

Try not to be so annoying this go around Red Sox Nation, and be prepared to be back page new by noon tomorrow when ESPN starts airing fake press conferences with Steve Phillips explaining how each team will sign Alex Rodriguez.

Cue the Dropkick....

OMDQ Hits The Mother-Load: An Interview With Erin Andrews

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I begged and begged OMDQ to let me break the news on this site first, but I gave him my word that I wouldn't say anything. Brian has pulled ofd one of the greatest moves by a Blogger ever. He scored and interview with the most searched individual on AA this past Friday over the phone while Erin Andrews was in Boston. Here are a few of my favorite quotes......

"To be honest with you, I think guys would like to see me in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and no makeup."

"I’m so excited because I get to wear a baseball hat the whole game and just throw my hair in a pony tail. To be honest with you, I would wear my hair in a pony tail and wear no makeup, but let’s think about it: when people go to their jobs, when they go to an office, they don’t wear jeans and a ratty T-shirt and no makeup"

"I’ve learned very quickly in this industry that you have to develop a very, very thick skin and if you don’t, you’re not gonna succeed. I remember one of the first times I ever saw something on the Internet that was written about me I ran out into my parents’ living room and I started to cry. Somebody had written about the size of my nose and that I needed a nose job."

"Every little thing I do, whether it’s eating a sandwich to you know, anything, it’s just all over, or who I’m talking to on the sidelines so that must mean I’m dating them, who I’m having a drink with at the bar, so that must mean I’m dating him, it’s turned into, it’s turned into almost like a mockery, so I’ve stayed away from it."

"To be honest with you, I don’t find myself to be a household name or a really big deal. I don’t. That’s why I think it’s funny when people call or ask to do interviews, because the way I look at myself is kind of a big nerd."
Many kudos to OMDQ for making the effort and having the cojones to ask for a few minutes from Ms. Andrews. It seems like our weekend editor here at AA has a knack for pulling these convos with some of the "best" Sideline Reporters out there (he interviewed NESN's Tina Cervasio last month).....if he hunts down Jill Arrington, I will lose my s**t.

For the rest of the 3,500 word interview head over to One More Dying Quail immediately.

Talking With Erin Andrews (One More Dying Quail)
Twenty Questions With Tina Cervasio (OMDQ)

College Gameday Is Going Back To Oregon

College Gameday is heading to Eugene, Oregon for the third time ever, and second time this year, this upcoming Saturday.

EUGENE, Ore. – ESPN College GameDay has confirmed it will produce its weekly college football preview show from the University of Oregon for the second time this season prior to the Ducks’ home game vs. Arizona State.

Kickoff for the football game, which is currently slated to be televised locally on the Oregon Sports Network, will be 3:45 p.m. (PDT).
I was hoping it would head to Columbus, Ohio because I will actually be at the Wisconsin-OSU game, but alas no such luck. Going back to Oregon, as the #5 Ducks take on the #4 Arizona State Sun Devils, is definitely the right choice.

Lee, Kirk and Co. Return for an Encore (GoDucks.com)

The Pam Ward Chronicles Week 9

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com.

There's no Pam today, so we're playing a man down. I'm pretty sure Andre Ware will step it up for the early game and I'll need your help the rest of the day. Enjoy your Saturday, and be sure to check out the other goodness below this post.

Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Nine

Chris Spielman was in rare form last night, and I actually enjoyed the Friday Night game without screaming at him. He even made me LOL at one point.

"Kenny Chesney hooked up with Tim Tebow."- Chris Fowler

Not a good choice of words there. Do you think Peyton is jealous???

Gameday Sign of the Day:

And here's our first video submission of the day. Don't think Todd McShay was quite ready for his spot. Live TV is sooooo tough, and this one didn't go well from the start.....

A whaaaaaaaa????

"My nipples are bleeding."- Tom Arnold talking Iowa Football

""I don't think I've ever seen this much speed on the field by both teams." Paul McGuire (Via Gangsta D)

"Tom Arnold from Ottumwa, Iowa -- his movie career turned about as successful as Robert Gallery's pro career." - Dave Pasch, after a segment proclaiming Arnold the Iowa Hawkeyes' biggest fan. ZING! (Via S2N)

Oh I got video of that coming. Burrrrrrn.

"The Fab Five had their championships vacated."- Dave Pasch What championships? (Via Anon)

Great point.

"I shook his hand and almost broke my fingers."- Paul Maguire
"Johnny almost Dingled you there."- Brad Nessler

Ewww Brad.

"The only player in the Big East to win a Heisman Trophy? Trick question: Gino Torretta for Miami in 1992."- Brad Nessler
"But Miami wasn't in the Big East at the time."- Bob Griese
"Yes they were."- Brad Nessler
(Via Anon)

"He's seeing double right now. Just like Maguire on Thursday night." - Brad Nessler (Via S2N)

"This is just a reminder, but there really isn't a yellow line on the field at the first down marker."- Dave Lamont (Via Dollar Dollar Bill)

"You have the right to ask for a measurement at any time. And any time it's close, I think it's beneficiary to bring that chain out and just take a look at it." - Tim Brandt (Via Barry)

....."and when you throw to him and he runs into the official and BOOM...(pause)...goes the dynamite."- Verne Lundquist (Via Dummy and Chaz)

"You cut yourself shaving, you bleed for a week" - Gary Danielson (Via Smed)

"Can you get it up every week. . . consistently?"- Craig James (Via Kyle)

Paraphrasing somewhat: "That scoring drive for Florida was like the story of the scorpion and the turtle. The scorpion asks the turtle for a ride across the river and promises not to sting him. The turtle accepts because the scorpion says 'If I sting you, we both die because I will drown.' Midway across, the scorpion stings the turtle, who turns asks 'Why?' The scorpion says 'It's what I do.'"- Gary Danielson (Via Kyle)

"He listened to Daddy."- Brent Musburger

"And he handles it at the thirteen."- Gary Thorne
(Camera shows the ball bouncing out of the endzone)
"Or rather in the endzone."- Gary Thorne

"They look like a contender for number one."- Brent Musburger on Ohio State

Umm....they are number one Brett. In every poll.

"That wasn't whistle that was a rim rocker."- Brent Musburger

"I think Ohio State will be one, Boston College will be two, and LSU will be at three."- Kirk Herbstreit

NO REALLY?!?!?!?! That's what they're ranked now Kirk....way to go out on a limb.

"And South Carolina is going to take this to overtime. I'm going to have to think about what is happening in Britney Spears' live before we come back." - Mike Patrick
"I wonder if she's watching tonight." - Todd Blackledge
"I think she just bought a new double wide." - Mike Patrick

WINNAH! (Via Unreliable)

"They're not going to get a lot of pressure on a continuous basis unless they're bringing pressure." -- James Hasty (Via J-Red)

Corso: "I've got Boston College in at #5 because I had to get someone from the Big East in my Top 5."
Fowler: "You know they're in the ACC?"
Corso: "Someone from the East Coast. They should be in the Big East."
(Via Anon)

The Funky Okajima (WTF?)

I'm going to echo D. Lamothe's sentiments about the following video...."No Words...."

Ode to Funky Okajima (Rox and Sox Octoberfest)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:50 AM 3 Comments Links to this post

Chris Spielman's Dig On Rob Stone

This caught me so off guard that I had to share it with you this morning. Rob Stone was doing a sideline report on the "Milk Can" (the trophy that Fresno State and Boise State play for) and afterwards Chris had the dig of the century. Take a listen...

"Good to see Rob Stone's Curves workout pan out....he can lift up the milk can, that was nice."- Chris Spielman

Now that's funny....I don't care who you are. Gave me an actual spittake last night.

What You'll See On ESPN's Countdowns For Week Eight

Friday, October 26, 2007

Here's your look into what ESPN is putting on the Countdowns this Sunday and Monday. There's always a special segment or two.

Sunday NFL Countdown:

- Rachel Nichols reporting from London!
- How the Patriots Defense Has Linebackers over 30 years old!
- Soundtracks with Mike Tomlin!
- The Mayne Event is in London too!
- "Ten-year-old Jason Krause knows he has the perfect costume for Halloween, but who in the NFL is giving him “tricks” and who is giving him “treats?”" (Via ESPN PR)

Monday Night Countdown:

- Soundtracks with Brett Farve (who else?)
- A piece on Donald Driver done by Donald Driver
- Boiling Points with Parcells and Ditka
- Read and React with Parcells and Keyshawn


Sounds fun right? I can't wait for Kenny Mayne in London! Did you know in London that Football is actually Futbol?!?!?! Crazy right?

Old Habits Die Hard For Jon Miller

Had this one emailed to me a bunch, so I figured I'd give it it's own spot. Miller and Joe Morgan have the World Series for ESPN Radio, and last night's sign on was pretty spectcular. Via AA reader Carl....

If you didn't catch it, when the studio tossed to Jon Miller and Joe Morgan just before Game 2 of the World Series in Boston, Jon Miller jumped in (after a few seconds) with "San Francisco Giants Baseball." Realizing instantly that he had put it on auto-pilot at the wrong time, he tried to dig out with "As you all know, the San Francisco Giants (pause) are nowhere this year. But we're here at Fenway Park in Boston."
Hahaha. That's actually a pretty good save there, and at least he made note of his mistake. Now I just need the audio, so I can laugh my ass of again.

You Create The Caption #101

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....

"Hey, check this out - I can belch the Mandarin alphabet."- Fred Morlan

"Dis' motherfucker is dead asleep and he ain't droppin' that motherfuckin cup! How the fuck he do that? Drop the damn cup Yi!"- Chimpanzee Rage

"Damn, that Kung Pao chicken is tearing my stomach up. Don't you have any real Chinese food in this gd forsaken town?"- Anon

"Redd considers waiving his no-in-game-happy-ending-massage clause"- mplant

"These "Rush Hour" movies are losing their edge."- Anon

Are you funny enough to make a caption for this photo of Plaxico Burress looking fly on the phone? (Thanks to Ross for the photo)

Weekend Links:

Joe Buck Needs To Get His Sox In Order (Homerun Derby)
Why Live-Blog? (Sports Media Journal)
Hoover High Is Corrupt (Rumors and Rants)
The New Big Ten Logo Is Special (Storming The Floor)
Predicting Tony Kornheiser On MNF (Food Court Lunch)
2008 Preview In Movie Posters (Half Court Heave)
Who Doesn't Like Drugs And Basketball Previews? (Ghosts of Wayne Fontes)
Do Not Anger Eddie Gunz For You Will Pay! (The Hater Nation)
Who Should The Sox Sit In Colorado? (I'm Writing Sports)
Genarlow Wilson Is Finally Free (We Suck At Sports)
ESPN Might Find Some Better Talent If They Brought Back Dream Job (Signal to Noise)
Is ESPN Ripping Off The Onion? (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

.....and Lastly........

Keith Olbermann was seen sneaking around your grave at night. Whoops that's Beetlejuice...I mean sneaking around the World Series Media Room....

What Was Keith Olbermann Trying To Record in the World Series Media Room? (The Big Lead)