Mercury Morris was back on First Take this morning with his yearly "They Aren't In Our Neighborhood" Speech again, but this time there was something different. He was obviously on to talk about the 10-0 Titans, and not only did he not make it all about himself or the Dolphins but....wait, is this a humble and almost supportive, Mercury Morris?! I think it is!!!

Maybe Mercury just hated the Patriots as much as we do (joke people), or they rubbed him the wrong way, but Titans speech just threw me for a loop. I mean, he even said "Go Titans!" there at the end. Unbelievable. Next you're going to tell me that the NFL is fixing games....oh.

The apocalypse is really upon us.

Mercury Morris Raps His Feelings About The Patriots (Awful Announcing)

There's only one good reason that the Football Season is over and it's because we won't have to hear about these chuckleheads for at least another year. Live it up Dolphins...

Cute ad I guess, but with the way that people feel about Mercury Morris I don't know if Reebok made the right choice with this one.

I really hoped for a way that both of these two individuals could have been stopped, but I guess in the end it just wasn't meant to be. First up is Bill Belichick, and while I understand competition I think the only true members of that Patriots team were the ones who stayed on the field at the end of that game. Tedy Bruschi, you have the utmost respect from me sir.....

At least Randy Moss thought about it for a second before he ran off. So classless. I know it's one second but there's no other coach that would pull that.

Second up, Mercury Morris. He tries to sound classy but ruins it in the end. I'm happy that the Dolphins still have the undefeated season moniker, but it's not because of him.



Thanks for letting America celebrate Mercury. You ass.

I know that in all likely hood that these babies are going to be flying off the shelves after February 3rd, but here's the best part about this fabulous 19-0 t-shirt.....you can purchase it in time for the Super Bowl!

19-0.org has produced unique t-shirts to commemorate the National Champions of Professional Football. These t-shirts are Premium Quality Hanes and Fruit of the Loom 50/50 Heavyweight 5.4 oz. T-Shirts (50% cotton helps reduce skrinkage). We have built this site to allow you the opportunity to voice your opinion about your favorite team in New England. They sure do give a new meaning to “patriots”. Get your 19-0 supporting t-shirt now and wear it with pride. Show everyone that you are a “patriot” too!

Just think how awesome it would be to show your friends how much of a fan you are with this thing! I mean Giants Fans will love you for your honesty (they knew they didn't have a shot anyway) and Pats fans will love you for NOT jinxing their team.

If only it came in pink....
No way! And it looks like I could wear it as a nightgown too. That's the balls. I'm so buying one of these and praying for a Giants win.

19-0 Shirts, Wear It When It Happens (19-0.org)

Post game interviews are fun aren't they? Here's Pats RB Laurence Maroney talking about how "he ain't never been to no Super Bowl" but not getting too excited....

I don't know if blowing his wad has anything to do with "construda" or Kool Aid, but I'd like to know.

I have no idea why First Take (and myself for that matter) keeps giving this guy airtime, but here's our friend Mercury Morris giving Michelle Bonner a hard time on ESPN this morning. Not only does he say that the Patriots haven't accomplished anything yet he also flips out on the Parcells piece ESPN did.....

What a dick.

I don't think there's a question that this undefeated season is more impressive than the Dolphins. I think the Pats could lose in the playoffs and it would still seem like a bigger accomplishment to me. Well that's not what the Dolphins are saying today. Insert '72 Dolphin Kicker Garo Yepremian....

"They're playing well," Yepremian said. "But they still have three more opponents coming up.

"I can't say how I feel because they haven't done it yet. If I had hair, I would look like Tom Cruise. But I don't have any hair. They haven't done it, so how I can I say how I feel?"

What does that even mean? I think we found the real "idiot kicker". I'm also still looking for some Mercury Morris comments so we can all laugh at his ridiculousness.

Yepremian: Pats need three more wins to match Miami (ESPN)

Here are our good friend Mercury's thoughts......

"My feeling about it is as consistent as it has been all year. It doesn't matter to me whether or not they win them all because it doesn't affect anything we've done. When all the dust clears, the best they can do is to stand beside us, and in the end, that's not a bad thing. I will welcome them to the neighborhood with my Mr. Rogers sweater on, but first they have to get to the neighborhood."

Here we are folks....Week 17 and we get to witness a shot at history. Unfortunately that history has to involve Bryant Gumbel, but what are you going to do?

Where: Giants Stadium
When: 8pm, NFL-N/CBS/NBC
Why: Perfection
How: Bill Belichick in the Study with a Video Camera
Spread: New England -14, O/U 47
Weather: Partly Cloudy, Low 33 Degrees, Winds 5-10 mph

Sorry folks......something has come up and I'm going to have to be away from the computer for this game. I'm leaving this up as an open thread for the night and hopefully you can leave some gems for me in the comments. I apologize for bailing it's necessary.

Cheers and have a good night (if there's a C4 News Team member that wants to pick up the slack I'll be forever in your debt).
----------

....As you wish. S2N here. I'll be picking up about the first half or so (watching on the NBC affiliate) before I'm scheduled to go watch UFC 79 at a friend's house. Right now I am finishing the utter crap-fest that is the Liberty Bowl; I can't believe someone actually scored an offensive touchdown.

Here are your impromptu drinking game rules for tonight:
1) One shot or sip for every airing of the "Eli Manning: UNSTOPPABLE" ad
2) One shot or sip for every Brady-to-Moss pass
3) Finish your drink if Brady and/or Moss break the TD records they are gunning for tonight (each needs two touchdowns)
4) One shot or sip per Eli fumble or INT
5) Chug your drink for any mention or visual of Jared Lorenzen and scream your favorite J-Load nickname (mine is the Round Mound of Touchdown)
6) One shot or sip for every three Gumbel miscues (if we assign one a shot we're never getting through this)
7) Three sips for Manning Face.
8) One sip for mentions of Wes Welker's stature.
9) Chug for a Patriots punt.

Any other suggestions are welcome in comments.

When I hear Bryant Gumbel on the play-by-play for a football game, I feel like I should be watching a documentary on some arcane subject in history rather than a sporting event. The voice does not match the profession AT ALL. He's like the fourth Chipmunk.

There is some audio foolishness under the national anthem, as if they forgot that it wasn't time to play ads during the anthem. It sounds like Idina Menzel (thanks Mookie for naming her) is singing into an oil drum or some form of tape delay -- the whole anthem sounded like a producer spliced recording tape and flipped it back upon itself. The Giants Stadium PA either stinks or the crew was not plugged into it for the TV broadcast.

Gostowski kicks to Domenik Hixon, he returns it out. Rush to Jacobs for five yards. Eli goes all throwgasm to Burress and he leaps, making an outstanding catch inside the Pats 20. Incomplete to the non-Carolina Steve Smith. Coughlin's using his challenge on that incompletion call, and Collinsworth is right to call him out on it. The nice thing about the NFL telecast is that Collinsworth does know what he's talking about, more often than not. If only they can get Professor Gumbel out of the damn booth....

Brady Quinn is now doing ads for EAS supplements. Amazing what you can get in ad revenue without having done a damn thing on the field yet.

Of course, Coughlin loses the challenge for the exact reasons that Collinsworth outlined.

Saying Gumbel is the fourth Chipmunk is an insult to Alvin, Simon and Theodore...who have a much more impressive body of work. - sportsattitude

Noted. Manning hits Burress, who gets a 1st and goal at Ellis Hobbs' expense, and Collinsworth tells us that Asante Samuel does not play that side because they don't flip corners. Archaic, isn't it? Ball at the eight. Jacobs gets nothing.

"Eli Manning remains a work in progress at quarterback." - BG

I can't stand Gumbel...but I couldn't have said it any better myself. - Hanrahan

Gumbel does have a tendency to make smart statements of the obvious that others won't. Witness the "Upshaw's Leash" statement on Real Sports from 2006.

TOUCHDOWN GIANTS. Manning to Brandon Jacobs on the short pass. Kick is up and good, 7-0, G-men.

"What does Scooby-Doo say?" - CC
"Ruh-roh!" - CC and BG in unison.

What's the ruling on the number of drinks taken for bad Scooby Doo impressions? - hsplaybyplayman

Chug to forget that two grown men even did that on national television. Tynes kicks off to Hobbs and takes it back to the 25 yard line. Here comes the Golden Boy. Brady to Moss for a first down, everyone drink! Brady to WES WEL-KAH across midfield for another first down. Oh -- anything about Wes Welker's height = 1 drink.

Koolaid Maroney gets stuffed on first down. Bryant Gumbel likes to say "stoned" a lot. I'm sure he used to smoke weed, or at least do nitrous. Benjamin Watson drops a 2nd down pass, and it's third and long. Kevin Faulk is short on the screen, and of course the Hobo is going for it on fourth down. Brady to Moss, 1st down, SLAINTE! Brady to Welker for another first, and Tommy's new neckbeard is bringing back the passing power.

1st at the 21, Maroney got zip. Brady tosses an incomplete to avoid an Osi Umenyiora hit.

"The Patriots are accustomed of having success on their opening drives this year." - BG. Um, yeah. It's not just the opening drives, really.

3rd and 8 brings an overthrow of Randy Moss, and Belichick brings on the FG team. Kick is up, good, and it's 7-3, Giants.

Domenik Hixon gets stuffed at the 20 on the kickoff, and here comes Eli again -- but before, we get the first salvo ad against Time Warner, Cablevision, and Charter (my cable provider) by the NFL Network. Jacobs gets not much again, and even less on 2nd down. Amani Toomer drops a pass from Eli that hit him right in the chest. On, Giants punt team and Jeff Feagles -- boots it to Wes Welker, who gets back to midfield.

I'm pretty sure Cris Collinsworth called NFL.com's stats or some such "the tool." Why, I don't know.

Collinsworth calls the NFL Network "the tool". I thought "the tool" was the guy he was calling the game next to. - hsplaybyplayman

+1 to you. Brady throws the first down pass away, and Kavika Mitchell is apparently out with a knee injury -- doubt #1 for the "play your starters" for the Giants for this game. No one can run today -- Maroney stuffed for another loss. Brady gets pounded on 3rd and long for the sack, but a flag in the secondary -- illegal contact on the Giants, and that's an automatic first down. Brady rifles it to Donte Stallworth for another first down. Tom then hits WEL-KAH for a catch and some serious yards post-catch, displaying a rare Randy Moss block. Kevin Faulk can't rush for jack, but he gets the pass on the blown coverage for another first down....uh oh, Randy is down on the field and hurt. Got some helmet to helmet from Gibril Wilson. He's walking off.

End of the first quarter. I'm gonna finish this drive with you, but I just got a phone call to go be social -- so after this one, I'm out and it becomes an open thread again.

Brady to Moss -- TOUCHDOWN, PATRIOTS! Randy breaks Jerry Rice's single-season TD record, Brady ties Peyton's TD pass record, Pats own the NFL scoring record. Kick is up and good, 10-7, Pats.

Have fun, folks. I'll see you around tomorrow, and we'll collect the best announcing BS.

Um...that 15-yard penalty didn't help, as Domenik Hixon takes it to the house on the kickoff! 14-10, Giants.

Now, seriously, I'm out.

So we're about 3 hours away from a date with perfection and I wanted to give you a little Eli to tide you over. Watch closely....

Whoever made that video is a genius. See you for the live-blog around 8pm.....bring your funny and a few shots. We're drinking every time Eli messes something up.

(Thanks to Sam for sending the vid along)

I know we have some Pats fans that stop by on occasion so if you're completely insane and want to watch some of the earlier games of the season here's part of the 65-hour schedule to pick out the one you want. You obviously have to have the NFL Network and be insane to want to watch more than one of these, but here you go.

Thursday, Dec. 27
1:30 a.m.: NFL Classics: New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts - Week 9 (HD)
11:00 a.m.: NFL Replay: New York Jets at New England Patriots - Week 15 (HD)
1:00 p.m.: NFL Classics: Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots - Week 14 (HD)
8:00 p.m.: NFL Classics: New England Patriots at Baltimore Ravens - Week 13 (HD)

Friday, Dec. 28
1:30 a.m.: NFL Classics: New England Patriots at Baltimore Ravens - Week 13 (HD)
9:00 a.m.: America's Game: The Super Bowl Champions 1972 Miami Dolphins (HD)
10:00 a.m.: NFL Replay: New England Patriots at Dallas Cowboys - Week 6 (HD)
11:30 a.m.: NFL Replay: New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts - Week 9 (HD)
1:00 p.m.: NFL Classics: Philadelphia Eagles at New England Patriots - Week 12 (HD)
Midnight: NFL Classics: Philadelphia Eagles at N.E. Patriots -- Week 12 (HD)

Saturday, Dec. 29
6:00 a.m.: NFL Replay: New England Patriots at Dallas Cowboys - Week 6 (HD)
7:30 a.m.: NFL Replay: New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts - Week 9 (HD)
9:00 a.m.: NFL Replay: Philadelphia Eagles at New England Patriots - Week 12 (HD)
10:30 a.m.: NFL Replay: New England Patriots at Baltimore Ravens - Week 13 (HD)
Noon: Playbook: Special - New England Patriots vs. New York Giants
1:00 p.m.: Who Is ...: Special -- Who is Perfect?
2:00 p.m.: Total Access on Location: Path To Perfection - Pregame (LIVE)
5:00 p.m.: Total Access on Location Presented by Sears - Pregame (LIVE, HD)
8:00 p.m.: Saturday Night Football: New England at New York Giants (LIVE, HD)
11:30 p.m.: The Home Depot Postgame Show: Live from Giants Stadium (HD)

Ummm.....yeah. The 65 hours technically started on Monday, but you've got over a day's worth of Perfection there. I dare you to watch the entire thing.

Again, I'm this close to rooting for the Patriots.....if this has-been says one more boastful thing I'm moving to Boston, buying all of Ben Affleck's films, and only listening to the Dropkick Murphy's song 'Tessie' for the rest of my life.

Here's Mercury on last night's Sports Center, and be sure to stick around until the 3 minute mark. That's when the fun happens....

"I've been trying to tell you busters you can't play in our town."

Do you think Jay-Z or Stuart Scott is his ghost writer?

Chris Berman sat down with Bob Griese and Mercury Morris of the 1972 Dolphins last night during Countdown and in case you missed it Morris was a show.

"Every husband needs a wife."- Mercury Morris

How do you like that Pats fans? I actually take it all back. I hope the Pats go undefeated and shut this asshat up.

With several of the unbeaten teams in college football taking their first defeat this weekend, the number of zero-loss teams has finally gotten down to a number I can work with in this space.

I thought it might be interesting to see what local columnists are saying about these teams, most of whom have never been in this position before. Are they euphoric? Cautiously optimistic? Or do they see a wrecking-ball on the horizon?

We start in Columbus, Ohio, where the Ohio State Buckeyes polished off Kent State without wiping the sleep out of their eyes. They're definitely on a roll, but the toughest part of their conference slate lies before them, with Wisconsin, Illinois, and Michican standing in the way of their BCS dreams.

If the Buckeyes (7-0) win their remaining five games, they should get a chance to redeem their loss in last season's national championship game.

"We didn't expect to be ranked this high at this point in the year," said receiver Brian Hartline, who scored the Buckeyes' first two TDs, one on a school-record 90-yard punt return. "We are growing so fast, and it's fun to see us improve."

Then to Boston, where the BC Eagles are getting it done week after week. This Saturday, they knocked off the slumping Notre Dame Fighting Irish, who were only recently removed from the winless list.

In the locker room, the Eagles watched Kentucky knock off No. 1 LSU, and amid the boisterous cheering, you could almost hear a few of the young BC players daring to dream.

“You never know, something special could happen,” said cornerback DeJuan Tribble. “But we have to stay focused and come to play every week.”

Clearly DeJuan knows his media cliches, but he forgot "take them one game at a time" and "give 110% every game".

Now, off to a truly unaccustomed place, for both team and fans - the University of South Florida Bulls are the surprise team in the Big East this season, and they just swamped UCF 64-12. The Tampa Tribune had very little analysis of the team's future prospects, because the big story is about how bitter the in-state feud between UCF and USF has become:

Perhaps the University of South Florida should reconsider making UCF into an annual series. That way, the Bulls will have a guaranteed win on the schedule every year.

Dominating from the outset, No. 5 USF turned the so-called rivalry into the Snore on I-4, rolling to a 64-12 victory Saturday. It was USF's third-highest point total as the Bulls started 6-0 for the first time in school history.

'I hope they like what happened, because we weren't trying to run the score up on them,' USF quarterback Matt Grothe said. 'We're that much better than them.'

Nasty. But apparently someone at UCF made some disparaging remarks about a USF player's wife, so it sounds like both sides are dishing it out. Regardless, the Bulls are flying.

And from there, the journey gets even stranger. It's off to Tempe, Arizona for a look at the 7-0 Arizona State Sun Devils. They took down the once-mighty Washington Huskies to reach 4-0 in the Pac-10.

The Sun Devils (7-0, 4-0 Pac-10) are the only undefeated team in the conference and one of six left in the 119-team Football Bowl Subdivision. They are off next week, then return to Sun Devil Stadium on Oct. 27 against California (5-1, 2-1).

"Our offensive front did as well as they have all year in all aspects," coach Dennis Erickson said. "We did a good job mixing things up in the running game, and we threw it well enough to keep them off balance. I don't know how good we are, but we've won seven games, and we'll take it."

Pretty sedate. And I have to say, the most baffling part of this ASU resurgence is the fact that Dennis Erickson is at the helm. I guess some coaches are just suited for the college game...

And now we'll go as far west as we can to check out the reaction to Hawaii's 7-0 start, in the Honolulu Advertiser:

They danced, and whooped, and hollered. They did both the ha'a and haka to the delight of their fans.

Such was the festive mood that had there been a request, they'd have probably done the hokey pokey, too.

Remarkably these days some of the Warriors' biggest moments and most stirring victories have come thousands of miles from Aloha Stadium where they once strayed from only with trepidation. The dramatic triumph at San Jose, that was a school-record seventh consecutive road victory over two seasons, illustrated just how big a corner has been turned. That UH is unbeaten (7-0) and nationally ranked has everything to do with its ability to win across multiple time zones and foreign end zones.

The best part about researching this quote was the sports section in Hawaii. The Rainbow Warriors take second billing to the Surf Report in the sports section drop-down menu. Good old Hawaii...



And then we go to a place as far from Hawaii (in landscape) as is possible. Lawrence, Kansas and the Lawrence Journal-World. I will confess, this one is extremely sweet to me, as I grew up in Lawrence and attended this fine institution. The Jayhawks are 6-0 after taking Baylor to the woodshed on Saturday, after the Bears did the same to them in 2006.

Mother Nature tried everything short of an earthquake to spoil Kansas University’s football mojo on Saturday.

Fat chance.

All she really did was wear out her welcome, as KU emerged from two significant weather delays to crush Baylor, 58-10, and improve to 6-0 on the season.

Memorial Stadium emptied out 51⁄2 hours after the scheduled kickoff, but the Jayhawks prevented going flat and managed to remain fresh throughout. They are now bowl-eligible, which means surprisingly little in mid-October when there’s so much more to shoot for.

Ordinarily, a KU football story would have finished below a large, above-the-fold story about Midnight Madness. What a season. So far.

Speaking as a mature Kansas fan who has seen the ups and downs (guess which one there have been more of?) I'm cautiously optimistic. Kansas starts a road swing through Boulder and College Station next week, and if they come home unbeaten from that, count me among the believers.

Thanks for joining me on the Press Buffet. Don't forget to check out pre-season basketball on Storming the Floor, and winter baseball news on Bus League Baseball.

--Extra P.