David Anderson is a kick returner and wide receiver for the Houston Texans, and while he only has one career catch, he might be able to moonlight as an impressionist. Anderson actually does a solid Ron Jaworski. Via Hot Clicks....

While the actual voice is a bit off, the cadence is absolutely spot on. He did actually get one thing wrong though. Given that the situation he described was a three receiver set, David Anderson wouldn't be on the field.

Today in great "Take Me Out To The Ballgame Performances" at Wrigley, comes the one and only Mr. T. Not only did Mr. T throw out the first pitch in zubaz pants, AND sing during the 7th inning stretch, but he also inspired a heck of an impression by Scott Van Pelt....

"THREE STRIKES YOU OUT!!!" Love it. It doesn't get much more entertaining than that.

Not only was this just about the worst impression I've ever heard, but it was also the most sacrilegious that Kornheiser could have tried to pull off. As if fawning over Favre wasn't enough, Tony tried to pull off a Howard Cosell impression before the kickoff of last night's Monday nighter....

Last night's game was actually rather low on the Brett Favre annoyance level, but leave it to Tony to add just enough to drive the audience crazy. It's become a weekly occurance this year for him and I almost think he's doing it on purpose at this point. The rest of the game wasn't that bad in announcing terms, but there's something about Kornheiser that always seems to ruin the good ones.

Here's the rest of your Monday Night in quotes, but none really compare to that craptastic impression....

Your Monday Night In Quotes:

"That's more than discussing the new Mustang."- Chris Berman on Bill Ford Jr. wanting to fire Matt Millen

"The good thing about being short is that everyone else is tall...."- Emmitt Smith

"This could be Brett Favre's last Monday Night game."- Mike Tirico

"They have so many toe injuries on this team that I assume they must practice barefoot and step on their toes" - Tony Kornheiser

"It's too small to matter, but it becomes the Achilles heel of the foot."- Tony Kornheiser on the toe

"We've head a penalty free first half to this point."- Mike Tirico
(about a 20 second pause)
"Well that's good."- Ron Jaworski
"Thank you for that."- Tony Kornheiser
"You like that in depth analysis?"- Ron Jaworski

"They say he still plays the game like he's in sixth grade or eighth grade...."- Tony Kornheiser on Brett Favre

"It's no fun out here tonight and the traffic in New Jersey is killing me."- Tony Kornheiser channeling Favre

"We put the focus on Favre because people like me are in love with him."- Tony Kornheiser

These lineup reads before the Saturday FOX game had been pretty bad over the past few weeks, but leave it to an aspiring impressionist to spice them up. This is Will Ohman of your Atlanta Braves and he wants to give you the lineup in his best Harry Caray. Via The 700 Level....

Pretty darn impressive and the Mike Hampton line got me good. It should be required that someone does an impression for these things. No matter how good or bad it is.

Will Ohman Does His Best Harry Caray (The 700 Level)

I know we're all in the same boat in thinking that the Frank TV ads that ran all of last Summer and through the Playoffs were just about the most annoying things ever created. It didn't help that the show itself only turned out six episodes when all was said and down (writer's strike) and that it was rather terrible. Well according to the man himself the campaign actually worked and they're going with it again during this year's Playoff push. Blogger Alan Sepinwall talked with Caliendo during a recent press tour....

And, of course, once you get a crowd to laugh, it's easier to keep them laughing. The volume never rose much above, say, a guffaw, but he also got good responses to impressions both familiar (Charles Barkley) and esoteric (Jeff Goldblum).

And, in between, we managed to ask a few questions. I brought up the plague-like barrage of "Frank TV" ads that aired during last year's baseball playoffs, and asked whether Caliendo had maybe asked his bosses to tone it down this fall. Sadly, the answer was no.

"They worked," he said, while acknowledging that some of that work involved annoying baseball fans with the same three clips played ad nauseum. He then apologized in advance for TBS' plan to show even more "Frank TV" spots this time around.

Ugh. There's nothing worse than running the same ad for four months with very little variation. I have a feeling this is going to be like the rapping Taco Bell guys but only more annoying and more maddening (as if that is possible).

"Wow, you guys are being really critic-y" (What's Alan Watching)
FirstCuts: Ready For More Frank TV Ads? (The Sporting Blog)

I guess if someone decided to do an impersonation of one of my loved ones who passed away I might be a little ticked off as well. AT&T has been airing commercials in the Chicago area with Caray's likeness and Dutchie Caray is none to happy....

Dutchie Caray is furious with AT&T over television commercials featuring comic John Caponera pitching cable TV while impersonating the late Harry Caray.

"I just get shivers when I even think about it," she told WGN-Ch. 9 on Monday morning.

"I was gone the whole month of March and I didn't come back until a couple of days ago. ... It made me so sick and disgusted. ... What they did [was] so unprofessional, so jerky. ... I might make an AT&T commercial, wrap myself in telephone wire, ughl-ughl-ughl and act like an idiot dope."

You have to see the video on this because I love the telephone wire part. In other news the impressionist was pretty spot on with his take on Caray....



Caray's widow peeved over ads (Chicago Tribune)

This caught me so off guard that it almost made me do a spittake. Stu Scott sort of botches a transition from a clip to stats, so how does he make up for it? With a Stephen A. Smith impression of course....

I'm just shocked that Stu Scott made me laugh. I don't think I'll be able to finish out the day.

Booyah! Stu Scott does Screamin A Impression (HHR)

These player imitations are just getting better and better. The KG-Cassell one was classic, but I think getting the whole Rockets team to imitate Dikembe Mutombo might top that. Via Odenized....

I was praying that someone was going to break out the "Who wants to sex Mutumobo", but to no avail. Also, I don't know if the Rockets don't hear Dikembe like I do, but they sound like they're aping Yoda not Mount Mutumbo.

Rockets Imitate Deke! (Odenized)

Nothing exciting to write about this afternoon (Spring Training Baseball is putting me to sleep), so I thought I'd put up this hilarious video with Kevin Garnett imitating the newest Celtic Sam Cassell.

He sounds like the cookie monster.

Kevin Garnett's Sam Cassell Impression (Fanhouse)

"John Madden" was on Mike and Mike today to share his feelings on the great one's retirement, and the Mikes gladly let him have the floor....

The "he played like a kid line" was downright hilarious. Good times.

If you've been frequenting this site for awhile now you most undoubtedly know the site's obsession with Matthew McConaughey. He's the F'ing man, and with Blogger down yesterday I took the day off search through YouTube aimlessly typing in phrases like "Announcer Screw Up", "Announcer Goof", "Sports Announcer dumb", and "Bill Walton".

(And you thought I watched every game. You probably think Santa Claus is real too.)

While I found gold in the Bill Walton Video I also found gold in a non-sports related video. It's Matt Damon doing an impression of Matty Boy.



Not bad Matthew....not bad. What does Matty have to say about it? (You can fast forward to 4 minutes if you don't want to hear a We are Marshall synopsis for the 135th time. Seriously who doesn't know by now that there was a plane crash?)



My favorite part is the very end when Matt says he's going to have X-mas in Australia with the family he was an exchange student with. When he left there were 5 daughters and 1 grand child....now the guy has 5 daughters and 12 grandchildren. How much you wanna bet that Matt was responsible for at least 6 of them? How much???

Matt can impregnate women with quintuplets just by looking at them. I'd feel sorry for them if he actually had intercourse with them because there would be the first lady with Octotenuplets. What's octotenuplets? 80 babies of course.

(P.S.- I made that up.)