Hey, why don't we follow up ESPN's "Manny Socks" with yet another ridiculous idea/PR move? NBC Sports has decided to put a Sunday Night Football Cookbook out and it features recipes from top chefs but Faith Hill and John Madden himself!

Completely authorized by NBC Sports, The Sunday Night Football Cookbook marries two great American institutions--food and football. With more than 150 delicious recipes from America's top chefs, NFL players and alumni, and NBC Sports' all-star on-air team, the book is an easy-to-use playbook for making the ultimate football meal.

Team by team and city by city, The Sunday Night Football Cookbook celebrates the special dishes, unique flavors, and most famous chefs of the NFL's 31 cities (and Honolulu, where the Pro Bowl is held.. Recipes range from local favorites like Seared Tequila Chicken from Eddie Matney's Restaurant in Phoenix to decadent desserts like Chef Tobin McAfee's Double Loving Chocolate Spoonful served at Sir Edmond Halley's in Charlotte, NC.

Among the all-star chefs contributing recipes are Daniel Boulud, Jean-Robert de Cavel, Christopher Wilson, Susan Goss, and others. Also adding their favorite recipes are former NFL players--including Green Bay Packer Brett Favre, Pittsburgh Steeler Jerome Bettis, and Minnesota Viking Carl Eller--and stars from the NBC Sports team, including John Madden, Tiki Barber, and Bob Costas.

These aren't your run-of-the-mill tailgating recipes, though: The Sunday Night Football Cookbook redefines football food, transforming traditional dishes into super-tasty recipes and adding the nation's regional tastes to the game-day table.

Seems like a winner. I was trying to come up with a few ideas for the SNIFNIA gang and all I could come up with is: John Madden's Maple Syrup coated Turducken with Mini Donuts and mashed potatoes and Tiki Barber's "Throw Your Teammates Under The Bus" Cheese Fries (ketchup on the side to be used as blood). If you can do better, feel free to try in the comments.

If you want the book, you can find it at a bookstore near you on September 2nd for the low low price of $27.95!

NBC Sunday Night Football Cookbook (Amazon)
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I don't know why I found this ad so funny, perhaps it caught me off guard, but I couldn't stop laughing following this "anything you can do" inspired commercial with the Manning Bros....

Awww! So very cute. I had also planned on doing a review of NBC's preseason opener, but there were so many elements and folks missing that I decided against it. With that said, I thought the broadcast was as good as you can get for your first of the year. They didn't go overboard talking about the Olympics or Brett Favre until the fourth quarter (understandable to do so then) and Michaels and Madden really didn't seem to make any big mistakes. I was also a huge fan of the bump music choices which included Journey, Jay-Z, Peter Gabriel and Guns N' Roses.

Also, Adam Schefter of the NFL Network stood in for Andrea Kremer, who is in Beijing, and did a stellar job. It wouldn't be a bad idea to add him full time, but I think that'd put the on-air talent count at about twenty six. Expect more reviews and recaps as the preseason goes along, and get ready for the return of the Pam Ward Chronicles later this month.

More music news folks. If you're like me, you've certainly enjoyed the past NFL Kickoff parties and you may have even attended one (I got to see Britney [above] live!). This year's Kickoff artist joins the list of such amazing acts as Ms. Spears, Bon Jovi, Enrique Iglesias, Aerosmith, Destiny's Child, Elton John, Green Day, Ozzy Osbourne, Good Charlotte and Kelly Clarkson to name a few....

According to a few rumors and the latest issue of Sports Business Journal, the main artist at your NFL Kickoff Party is......


No silly, not Nicole Kidman. It's her husband.....yeah....that guy. His name is Keith Urban, and this isn't first time that the Kickoff Show has featured a Country singer. Just the first time that he/she has been the main performer during the show. The show will be sponsored by EA Sports and other acts will be named soon.

Shutdown Corner via With Leather has the video of Madden 2009's TD celebrations and I think for once we can say they've nailed it. Here's your first look....

I don't know how I feel about Portis doing cartwheels, but the Lambeau Lamp and LT teapot endzone celebrations gave me goosebumps. I always thought the celebrations in older editions of Madden were pretty stale, so this is a good sign that the game might have improved.

Madden's brand of virtual happiness (Shutdown Corner)
Madden TD Celebrations Look Okay (With Leather)

I know we're all in the same boat in thinking that the Frank TV ads that ran all of last Summer and through the Playoffs were just about the most annoying things ever created. It didn't help that the show itself only turned out six episodes when all was said and down (writer's strike) and that it was rather terrible. Well according to the man himself the campaign actually worked and they're going with it again during this year's Playoff push. Blogger Alan Sepinwall talked with Caliendo during a recent press tour....

And, of course, once you get a crowd to laugh, it's easier to keep them laughing. The volume never rose much above, say, a guffaw, but he also got good responses to impressions both familiar (Charles Barkley) and esoteric (Jeff Goldblum).

And, in between, we managed to ask a few questions. I brought up the plague-like barrage of "Frank TV" ads that aired during last year's baseball playoffs, and asked whether Caliendo had maybe asked his bosses to tone it down this fall. Sadly, the answer was no.

"They worked," he said, while acknowledging that some of that work involved annoying baseball fans with the same three clips played ad nauseum. He then apologized in advance for TBS' plan to show even more "Frank TV" spots this time around.

Ugh. There's nothing worse than running the same ad for four months with very little variation. I have a feeling this is going to be like the rapping Taco Bell guys but only more annoying and more maddening (as if that is possible).

"Wow, you guys are being really critic-y" (What's Alan Watching)
FirstCuts: Ready For More Frank TV Ads? (The Sporting Blog)

These Madden 2009 videos are popping up everywhere, and I'm sorry for hitting you with two in a day, but this one is just completely odd. The premise for the clip seems pretty awesome, but the execution seems, as Shutdown Corner explains....Tron-like.

The clip is of yet another new Madden 2009 feature called Madden IQ and it's a system that lets the computer gauge your strengths and weaknesses and responds accordingly. You do a few drills and then the Computer's game is supposed to to adapt to your skills. The drills themselves are explained to you by a glowing John Madden and then you practice them as digital figures. Here's the clip.....

I guess it's good that Madden actually is in the game, but I'd rather have him announcing than leading me through drills. That might just be me though.

Your Madden IQ (which may have nothing to do with your real IQ) (Shutdown Corner)

SS Reporters found video of Madden 2009 with the announcers thrown in and the 20th edition of the Football game will feature Tom Hammond and Cris Collinsworth on the call. Here's the vid....

The replays look pretty intense, and the analysis Collinsworth is giving during them is top notch, but Tom Hammond sound like he's bored out of his mind. Hopefully it was this clip but he sounds like a robot. I'm not sure if this is telling to who the NFL Network is going to go with next season, but it's probably a good indicator.

Madden 09 Has Some Issues (Like Making Tom Hammond a Robot) (SS Reporters)

The video game world is abuzz today with the release of some of the rankings for Madden 2009. The early indications are that Madden did a pretty good job with the team rankings but the QB ones are a little jacked up. First the teams via Shutdown Corner...


Everything looks pretty good, but there's no way the Vikings should be a 90. I'll let the Eagles be ranked higher than the Skins but not the Vikings. Especially when Washington hung 32 on the team when they could have locked up a Playoff spot. Anywho, homerism aside those look pretty spot on. Now onto the QBs via Sports Gamer (click for larger view).....


Okay, a few quick thoughts here. Rex Grossman has an 84 in accuracy?!?! That's news to me. Also, Chad Pennington has an 82 in arm strength? He must be only allowed to throw 10 yard outs in the game. Other than that....Derek Anderson seems to have been shafted a bit and Tom Brady is officially the best quarterback, and Tavaris Jackson is the worst the game has ever seen.

Madden '09 likes the Patriots, but not Tarvaris Jackson (Shutdown Corner)
Madden 09: Quarterback Ratings (Sports Gamer)

Not that Madden 2009 needs anymore hype or marketing behind the release of the game in August, but it apparently has gotten from the trading card company Donruss. The two entities are teaming up to create the first cards for the Top 10 NFL Draft picks and guess where the only way you can get them. By pre-ordering Madden of course!

Texas-based trading card manufacturer Donruss and video game maker EA Sports have joined forces to create the first football cards of the top 10 NFL Draft picks in their pro uniforms.

The computer-generated rookie cards will be included with copies of Madden NFL 09 if pre-ordered on EAstore.com during a promotion that ends on May 9.

While only the top 10 picks -- including Atlanta Falcons QB Matt Ryan and Oakland Raiders RB Darren McFadden -- will have real cards printed, each of the first 31 players drafted had cards virtually printed live online during the draft.

It's an ingenious idea for both companies and another reason why the Madden franchise has one of the best run marketing campaign in Sports.

EA Sports & Donruss team up for Madden NFL 09 promotion (Orlando Sentinel)
Madden 2009 Draft Cards (EA Sports)

I'm sure a lot of you are like me in that you've been playing Madden since it's inception. Well given the 20th year of the game (doesn't that make you feel old) coming out this August, EA has put together a video of Favre highlights throughout the years....

Pretty intense as far as video game commercials go. I also wonder if Brett Favre is going to just be a Free Agent in the game or if you'll have to unlock him through some complicated skills competition. Let the Madden hype machine commence!

I was really banking on the MNF crew being the team to drive me crazy in the game but apparently it will be the NFL-Network team of Tom Hammond and Cris Collinsworth. It's an odd choice but here are the details....

Madden NFL 09 will also feature a network-inspired broadcast presentation. Players will benefit from the authentic football knowledge of an in-booth play-by-play and color commentary team featuring Cris Collinsworth and Tom Hammond. In addition, numerous graphical enhancements have been made, including realistic weather and grass, sleeker player models and exterior stadium views.

Well I guess that confirms who the new team for NFL-N announcing team is then doesn't it? It would be pretty awkward if they went a different direction. The game looks to have a bunch of new features, but it's just odd to me that the 20th edition of the game won't even have Madden as an announcer. Seems like a bad decision but we'll see.

Favre chosen for Madden 09 cover (ESPN Video Games)

I don't know what it is, but every time that Brett Favre talks for any length of time (over say a minute)....it's boring as hell. This is why I've broken the interview into two parts. The first is the Madden announcement, which is boring in it's own right, but very short....or you can watch the whole thing. But in all seriousness, trust me....don't watch it. You'll feel dumber for doing so.

Here's the rest......

So EA announced that the athlete in question is appearing on David Letterman tonight and tonight's guests are Tina Fey (nope), Esteile (?), and one Brett Favre. That's right folks....this guy is your 20th Edition of Madden's coverboy....


More details as they become available (and the video), but it looks like The Sporting Blog was right. The game is scheduled for an August 12th release.

I don't really know what to make of this interview with EA Audio Director Aubrey Hodges over at Gamezone, but this little piece of information should be news to you Madden lovers....

I know it's kind of early in the year but can you give us an idea of what kind of sound changes we can expect from Madden, NHL, FIFA – all the different sports games?

AH: I have to be careful about this. Although I can... We are making a change in the Madden commentators. I can't mention who they are. We are using some of the biggest names in the business. We listened to the fans and we are making a change. And that will be more than one. It will be a fantastic year for Madden fans, I think they're gonna be thrilled with this new direction. I don't think I can say much more than that.

Hmm. The game is named after Madden and he has always involved his partner, be it Summerall or Michaels, in the virtual broadcast booth. So are they replacing just Al or both? And if it's both, who will be the new team? Buck and Aikman??? Nantz and Simms??? Oh god no....


Sound Analysis (Gamezone via Deadspin)

It really is sad isn't it?

Favre has decided to call it a career (FOX Sports)

(Video via Hot Clicks)

NBC Sports has a webpage (who knew? I kid, I kid) and they posted an article which says it was written by John Madden. Again, I'm not the one to poke fun at anyone's writing, but if you read this thing with Frank Caliendo's Madden Voice in your head it will keep you entertained for a good 10 minutes or so (it's the end of the workday so this could kill some time).

If Brett Favre is able to get ahead and doesn't have to feel like he has to make all the plays, his guys will get open. Any defense that you try and use against Favre he has seen. You can disguise and say we're going to do this or that but there is nothing that really works on him. You are not going to confuse him. Now that doesn't mean he won't throw you one once in a while. He'll do that not because of disguise just because he has so much confidence that he thinks he can fit that ball in there sometimes in some awfully tight spots that he can't fit it in. He is going to find a way no matter what you do or how you do it or who you have doing it he is going to find a way to get the ball to an open guy. Pass protection is always going to be a big part of that and getting a little running game will help the pass protection but I think ultimately and eventually this matchup is going to come back to Brett Favre. But having said that I think that Green Bay can get some running and probably will and January in Green Bay it is tough just to spread them out and throw every down so I don't think they will take that approach.

Ahh....good times. You are the gift that keeps on giving Mr. Madden.

Madden: Divisional Round previews (NBC Sports)

(Thanks to Hunter for the link)

The Ben did a music video with a Pittsburgh country band called the PovertyNeck Hillbillies, which is where that photo comes from. Safe to say he's not walking away with the girl tonight unless some miracle happens, but he can at least take solace in his ability to drink like a champion.

"I'm mopping up here like Ben Roethlisberger is gonna be mopping up if he doesn't quit throwing interceptions here pretty soon." - Cris Collinsworth (via False Rumour Monger)

Jags take the kickoff out to the 32 to start the second half. Taylor burrows for 2 yards. Oooh, a rare occurrence -- Garrard is picked off! -- he'd only thrown three picks the whole season. Dumptruck gets stuffed. The Ben throws to Miller for a first down. Russell rushes to the 30. Ben to Holmes at the 16 for a first down. Dumptruck gets stood up again. Holmes gets smacked on the screen pass. Tomlin has covered up the fro with a cap now. Ben throws the checkdown to Dumptruck, and it's short of the first. The Naked Kicker will be on for a FG try, and it's good. 21-10, Jags.

Jags start at their own 18. Rush up to the 25. Garrard rushes for a 1st on a 3rd down. Another short rush on first down, and Garrard gets sacked on 2nd down. Garrard throws out for a first down on the next play, and the Jags are making a serious drive into Pitt territory -- another catch, they're now at the 15 -- and MoJo Drew just waltzes into the end zone on the rush. Scobee's kick is up and good, 28-10.

"They're going to have at least one penetrator on every play" -JM (via Smitty Lite)

That Emmitt Just For Men ad - no words to describe how dull that was. At least in the past the ads with Keith Fernandez and Clyde the Glide were funny.

The Ben starts on the 30 and tosses it over to Heath Miller. 2nd down at the 50, short rush for Russell. The Ben hits his MVB inside the 40, flag on the play is declined. Russell rushes into the middle for a yard. False start moves the Steelers back five yards. The Ben is then sacked by Meier, and Tomlin's got a decision to make about whether to go for it or punt.

(Apologies for inconsistency, folks. I'm handling this live-blog and talking with the maternal unit on the phone.)

4th and 12, and Ben throws it to Santonio -- WHO GOES ALL THE WAY FOR THE SCORE!!! Naked Kicker comes on for the extra point -- 28-17, Jags.

Jacksonville started just before its own 30, and Garrard threw a bad pass, and he just got mashed on third down. Yikes. The Steelers, dare I say it, are gaining momentum. Fair catch at the 31 yard line of Pittsburgh with 14 minutes left in the game. We've got something here. The Ben to the MVB out to the 43 yard line. MVB takes the screen pass out past midfield.

"He's a wide receiver that plays like a linebacker. Sometimes, he plays like a nose tackle." - Madden on Ward. The Ben is nearly picked again on a rifle shot, and it's 3rd and 3. Converted via a pass to Ward yet again. Ben goes Sex Cannon for end zone, but it goes through Nate Washington's hands. Heath Miller breaks a tackle after the catch for another first down. Dumptruck takes the ball up to the Jax 24. Cedric Wilson hauls in the next pass, and a little bit of pushing and shoving going on...Dumptruck drops the pass on 1st down. Fake on the next play, toss to Miller, and TOUCHDOWN, STEELERS. Two point conversion coming up. The MVB hauls in the fade route for the conversion, but there's a flag -- oops, it's on Steelers center Sean Mahan!

"Ward for the touchdown!" - Al, on the two-point try. Oops. Thanks to all of you for catching that.

All of you talking about the weird audio, I got it too. It sounds like there's some weird phone touch tones in the background.

The Ben rushes for end zone for the two point and comes up three yards short, starting from the 12. So, it's 28-23, Jags.

"It's the playoffs. You can tell." - Al. Of course we can. I'm still trying to figure out where that hold was that Sean Mahan committed. Seriously.

Do you really think Eric Mangini would actually get NFL content on his phone? I don't. The Jags are trying to get back to the rush, and it's second and long right now -- Garrard is picked off again, this time by Ike Taylor, and he takes it back to the Jacksonville 30 or so, where Garrard tackles him.

Ben throws to Wilson, Dumptruck rushes short of the first down. Ben gets the first on the QB sneak. Flag on the Jags.

Did you see that "Leinart-like" push that Ben got? - Mal

Yup, just like the Bush Push. Another toss complete, 2nd and goal at the one. Rollout pass by the Ben is incomplete. They're gonna try and smash it in here. Another pass tipped, and a 4th down decision. I say kick the FG because your defense is hauling ass right now, you'll get it back -- but Tomlin's going for it, and the pass to the MVB is incomplete -- and pass interference is called on Jacksonville. Bullshit call. Ward had his hands all over the corner; even Dwyane Wade thinks the MVB got too much of the benefit of the doubt there.

New set of downs. Dumptruck rushes, one ref calls touchdown -- and the other agrees. Go for two or kick? Two point try, and this one's broken up. 29-28, Steelers.

The returner not named MoJo Drew for the Jags is tackled down at the 21, and let's see what Garrard is made of now, with the clock on him and down by one point. Still a lot of clock to work with. False starts don't help, and neither do drops by fullbacks like Greg Jones, who had a first down easy on that throw. Yeesh. Garrard hits Northcutt for a 1st down, and the penalty flag is for illegal contact on Pittsburgh. Taylor gets three, Garrard has to scramble and throw it away, and it's 3rd and 7 -- which Al just called 4th and 7.

"If they don't get it on 4th and 7, they're going to have to punt." - Al. Nicely done. Garrard is sacked yet again on 3rd and 7, and the punter will come on out again.

Punt returned by Wilson to the 22. Dumptruck gets five yards on the carry. Stuffed on the next carry, and Del Rio calls time out.

That sound you hear is the massive gagging coming from the Jacksonville sideline. What a chokejob. - Anon
If Dirk Koetter is calling plays, this has got to be his last game. This is so reminiscent of ASU's games where he failed to run the ball and kill the clock while the other team crept back in and won the game. - Steve

Damn, I thought this kind of collapse looked familiar. I forgot Dirk Koetter was employed. Why Jacksonville took another time out after the Ben came up short on the 3rd down rush, I don't know. I think you save that one, but I'm not a coach.

Northcutt brings it back to the 49, and Garrard's throw to Ernest Wilford is incomplete. Really? They want to waste their last time out on this challenge? This is going to backfire in Del Rio's face.

Moron coaching staff wasn't ready to call the next play. They forced themselves into risking their last time out by challenging. This is epic and it will not be mentioned. - Anon

That play stood, and Del Rio is a fucking idiot. Let this be known. You don't waste your last timeout on a challenge like that. Garrard throws to Reggie Williams for a 3rd and 2. Marcedes Lewis drops the 3rd down pass, as Troy Polamalu rushes in on the safety blitz. GARRARD RUMBLES ALL THE WAY TO THE 12! He churned those legs that Madden loves so much for about 30 yards. MoJo loses a couple yards on the next carry, and call me crazy, but this rushing for the FG strategy may bite again.

And speaking of FG strategies backfiring, they replay Romo's fumbled snap from last year, right on cue. The next two MoJo rushes get the ball to the 2 yard line. Chip shot FG here, Jax takes the delay penalty to move it to the 7 yard line. Here's Scobee's try....it's up....AND IT'S GOOD. 31-29, Jags.

Can the Ben get it into FG range with 37 seconds left and no time outs?

"The ball starts when Pittsburgh touches it." - AM (via Anon, who calls it the "GREATEST LINE EVER!")

Dumptruck's out to the 29 of Pitt with 29 seconds left. AND THE BEN GETS SUPLEXED ON THE SACK BY MCRAE! FUMBLE, AND JACKSONVILLE BALL! Garrard kneels, and the game's over, 31-29, Jaguars!

I'd like to note that Andrea Kremer gave David Garrard the eyes she usually reserves for Tom Brady. Garrard's all about it; he's married to a blonde.

Fucking incredible game, people. Thanks for joining me. OMDQ will be live-blogging Giants-Bucs at 1 PM EDT tomorrow, and I'll follow with Titans-Chargers. Come back tomorrow!

Let's get psyched up for the first real playoff game of the day with John Henderson; that NFC ish that we just sat through doesn't help. Washington just gave up at the end there. Even better: Henderson intros the pre-game crew with a nice little "IT'S SHOWTIME, BAY-BEH!"

Faith Hill = The Hotness - Smitty Lite
Bring back Pink for the pre-game song. Faith Hill ain't gettin' it done. - sportsattitude

I actually believe that Pink would watch football, but Faith's a better singer and less mannish. Conundrum.

While I have some time before the kickoff, I'd like to introduce you to a Jags' supporter we all probably weren't expecting, thanks to Deadspin and Walk Off Balk: apparently porn star Jenny Hendrix is a Jacksonville fan, and Jags coach Jack Del Rio is a fan of hers, admitting he's seen her work in hotel rooms. Where does her profession come in? Well, I'm willing to bet that both Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew will be violating the Steelers in various manners.

Kickoff to Najeh Davenport, and he's stuffed at the 21. Davenport is forced to return kickoffs due to Allen Rossum being out, and he's already the starting RB with Willie Parker done with a broken leg. Big Ben tosses incomplete to Hines Ward (unfortunately, I have not come up with a quick combination of black and Korean to describe him -- like "blackanese" for half-black, half-Japanese. They're supposed to give all of us mixed-race folk manuals with catchy names for this shit.) Anyway, The Ben hurls it to Ward again two plays later for 31 and they're in Jags territory.

Oops. John Henderson got a little too jacked up before the game, 15 yards for pulling a Roy Williams on The Ben. Henderson's on the sideline, and The Ben keeps going to Ward and getting another first down. Davenport smacks up the middle for 11 more and we got first and goal. Toss to TE Matt Spaeth, who loses the ball as he comes down trying to stretch for the end zone -- and he's lucky he was called down right there. But, this is reviewable, and Del Rio's gonna use it here because he has a turnover if his challenge succeeds.

First bump is Republica's "Ready to Go" -- does anyone know any bands from Pittsburgh that are big enough for NBC to use for bump music.

I have to admit -- that Southwest commercial about "performance enhancers" is hilarious. The Bud Light "Dude" ones? Not so much. Jacksonville loses the challenge, and Henderson's going to the locker room. Davenport gets plugged in the pile and comes up short, 3rd down. The Dumptruck is successful on the next rush, TOUCHDOWN, STEELERS. Kick is up and good, 7-0.

American Gladiators. Thanks for ensuring that no one will watch your network yet again, NBC.

Maurice Jones-Drew is a fucking beast. 96 yard return on the kickoff, we might as well just chalk up a TD for the Jags right now -- Fred Taylor punches it in for six, kick is good, and we got a 7-7 tie that quickly.

Wow, that shot of Tomlin was a definitive "dear in the headlights" look. - Steve

I recognize NORV! Face when I see it. That was some good NORV! Face from Tomlin.

The Ben rolls out and hits a receiver for a first after two rushes. Dumptruck for more up the middle. The Ben gets sandwiched on 3rd down, and we'll see Daniel Sepulveda punt it away in a minute. Dennis Northcutt gets up-ended receiving the punt, and I'm wondering why MoJo Drew isn't returning punts too -- I know he did that at UCLA.

They're working the rush early, with 3rd and short now after a Taylor rush and a penalty on the Steelers for offsides. MoJo gets the first down on the next play, and we're gonna see a lot of that inside pounding tonight. Hell, Jenny Hendrix would be great at this -- she knows a lot about line penetration, I'm sure.

"That's how you blow up a gap."- JM (via Sam)

I'm surprised there wasn't a BOOM in there from John. Uh oh, now we get Heinz Field muck talk with the rain falling. MoJo pounds for 2. David Garrard gets his happy feet going on the next play for the first down after the play action falls apart. Garrard gets it over to TE Marcedes Lewis (more UCLA product from their last good team), who jukes a Steeler for a first down. The drive stalls from there, as Garrard's third down pass is knocked down. Punt goes into the end zone, Steelers start at their own 20, but NBC is jumping the gun again on the bump music. Oh, now it's Arrested Development for a bump? OK.

For a reminder of general MoJo Drew awesomeness, watch this pancaking of Shawne Merriman from earlier in the season:



I could watch that all day.

If you want me to watch the apprentice, kill a celebrity at the end of the show. That would be a public service - Chris Casey.

Now, that would be entertainment. The Ben tosses underneath to Heath Miller, who gets 14 yards and a first after the Ben rollout. Another pass incomplete. Another play, first quarter over. This game has already been ten times better than the first one.

"Some of those guys would have rather been water boarded this week" - Al, via Mal
"He could grow geraniums out of his helmet right now" - Al, via Steve

Really, let's keep the torture references out of football. 3rd and 8 and The Ben is slammed down by Paul Spicer. Tomlin is now getting his Art Shell Face on as Sepulveda comes on to punt. Northcutt gets it up to the 39 yard line. Garrard gets sacked on first down. The Steelers defense has gotten frisky now, stuffing Taylor behind the line on 2nd and Way-The-Fuck-Out-There. Reggie Williams gets the pass out to the 40, but the punter's coming on regardless. Cedric Wilson only gets a couple yards on the return -- oops, illegal motion on Jax, and they'll punt it again.

Al and John are rambling on about a team from Florida that basically rushes and plays D. If that's really the way you need to win all the time in , then both the Pats and Colts are fucked, and we know that's not quite true, even though defense and running are Very Good Things for the playoffs.

"If neither one wins all the time, they become Brian Billick." - JM

Cedric Wilson fair catches at the 16 and we go to Depeche Mode.

Can anyone here imagine John Madden lecturing at a university? - Chris Casey

Yes, but he'd be very, very dependent on the overhead projector for his lectures. Mathis jacks up Ced Wilson on 2nd down for the incomplete. Grady Jackson has to be the biggest, fattest defensive lineman I've seen since the Packers' Gilbert Brown. The MVB (Most Valuable Blasian) Hines Ward catches a deflection off Heath Miller's finger for 20+ yards.

"The Immaculate....Deflection?" - Al, then followed by an Immaculate Reception highlight.

Rashein Mathis just picked The Ben, and he's in the end zone, but there's a flag -- this fucker's coming back, but it'll still be Jags ball, I think. Oh wait -- TOUCHDOWN, JAGS -- ref rules that the low block was on the Steelers, and it's a pick six. Kick is up and good, 14-7 Jags.

Now we get us some Bad Ben and more Tomlin with Shell Face. Touchback on the kickoff due to Pitt penalty on pick six.

Did Todd Collins just get in the game for Pitt? - Mal

Ouch.

Uh, oh. Tomlin's got headset hair. - Steve

Someone get Coach Epps a fro pick!

Grady Jackson is as tall as I am (6'2") and weighs more than 125 pounds more than I do. Yikes.

JM: "How, at 345 you slip through anything I don't know" (via Mal)

The Ben is picked by Rashein Mathis AGAIN on a rollout! He is apparently still a caveman, even without the beard -- incapable of learning from past mistakes.

"Tomlin is challenging, saying Mathis was out of bounds. If nothing else his hair was out of bounds." - Al

Mathis is ruled down by contact, but his hair was apparently out of bounds and that counts as out. But he's not really down by contact. Oof. They gotta make NFL officials full-timers. Seriously. Swing pass to MJD gets a couple, Jags get the first down later. Garrard out to MoJo again -- AND HE JUKES A LINEBACKER, TAKING IT TO THE HOUSE. Kick up and good, 21-7, Jags.

Yinzer Nation, start worrying. Scobee to the Dumptruck, who's stopped at the 21. The Ben is walloped again on 2nd and 13, and that's the Jax defense we've been expecting. He gets slammed again for the fourth time tonight -- Derek Landry sacks him this time. Jags get the ball back at their own 46 after the punt. Fred Taylor takes the handoff to the 50.

"Just look at [Garrard's] legs. Look at him from the 9 on down. He is a powerful guy." - John, as Al giggles like a schoolgirl. Ewwwww.

It's going to be 28-7 pretty quick if the Steelers don't get going. They could have Steely McBeam on the field as a 12th man and they couldn't stop these guys. But Steely McBeam may explain the Cialis commercials - Chris Casey

+1. Jack Del Rio is trying to impress Jenny. Garrard tosses to Lewis at the 28, so FG team comes on. Scobee boots it wide right. Steelers get the ball back with some decent field position -- as if it has mattered so far. Like John said earlier, can't win the game if you don't have an offensive plan. The Ben throws to Miller for a few necessary yards, and the two minute warning is upon us. Ben slides down after a few yards at the 44 of the Jags, he then hits Santonio Holmes for 16 yards. Replay booth upstairs is gonna look at it. They reverse it, and it's 3rd and 4 for the Steelers -- Ben checks it to the Dumptruck and he gets to the 27 after the catch. Pitt time-out.

The Ben, PICKED AGAIN -- this time by Derek Landry, who grabs it while pass rushing #7. That's No. 3, and we're gonna go to half with a 21-7 score. See you in the 2nd half thread, as the boo birds rain down in Heinz.

22 to zero Skins at the half and Peter King is calling as many coaches as he can to see who's playing next week. Tony Dungy has said Manning is only playing a half.

When did Keith stop doing his "Worst Person in Football"? I haven't seen one in weeks.

Allison takes the kickoff and has a huge return, but it's a penalty on Vikings. Sellers is hurt and that looked very Kevin Everett-like. That didn't look good. He was moving his legs around so he might have only been knocked out. And wow....he jogs off the field. That guy is a stud.

1st down Vikings from their 26. Peterson picks up 3 on first down but he follows with a great run on 2nd. He picks up 18 yards and is nailed by Shawn Springs. They run it with him again and he only gets a yard. Williamson picks up a fancy screen and it'll be 3rd and 3 at the Skins 45......Pitch to Taylor and that's short. 4th and 1 and the Vikes are going for it....

No way! Great stop as Peterson gets stuffed going up the middle. Redskins ball. Collins play actions and hits Sellers' replacement Kozlowski for 5 yards. Portis losses a yard on second and it's 3rd and 6.....Caught over the middle by ARE. A nice run after the catch gets it down to the Vikings 32.

Play action again on first down and there's another 10+ yarder to Moss. First down. Betts up the middle for about seven to the 14. Betts again up the middle and it'll be first and goal from the 4 for the Skins.

Portis goes up the middle to about the 1 yard line....2nd and Goal. Play action is incomplete as Cooley can't get out of the weeds. 3rd and Goal.....False start on Alexander and that'll drop it back to the 6.....

They try the Portis throw again and that's not working. Dumb call there. 26 yard FG......

GOOD! 25-0 Skins.

"That photo of Chris Cooley is disturbing on so many levels." (Via Anon)

My work is done.

Let's see if they can keep Allison from returning it 40 yards this time. Hey! They did it. Vikings ball at the 23. Jackson has it batted down incomplete on first down but they swing it to Peterson on second and he gets 14. Good play there.

Jackson overthrows Williamson badly on first down and he's going to throw another pick before this thing is done. Troy Will gets the attempt again, and again he has the first and momentum makes him lose it. 3rd and inches.....

"As we start to getting into double digit links that's when I would look to my Running Back."- John Madden
"Or scrambled eggs."- Al Michaels

The Vikes pick up a first on a pitch to Chester Taylor and then try to go deep but it's incomplete. Tony Richardson picks up the first on a screen thought. Godfrey is down for the Skins and that's their last linebacker walking. That's not good.

Jackson hits Bobby Wade for a nice gain and that's immediately followed by a nice throw and catch to Ferguson. First and goal Vikes from the 2......

TOUCHDOWN VIKINGS!!! Jackson to Kleinsasser. They're trying to make it interesting......

25-7 Skins.

Did anyone else here that scary voice over top of that shot of Adrian Peterson on the sidelines, or is the Devil telling me to burn things again? (Via Mark)

I thought that was just my TV....very scary. OH CRAP! Onside kick and the Vikings recover!!! Now they're really making it interesting. Williamson picks up six or so on first down and Peterson drops it on second down. 3rd and 4....Jackson sacked! Why didn't he just throw that away? He makes some horrible decisions. Vikings punt.....touchback.

"Where they head the 8 men, 9 men, and they got what they wanted....the backoff, and they threw to the backoff."- John Madden

Caldwell gets the Collins pass on first down and picks up seven, which is followed by a Portis two yard run. 3rd and 1....Portis losses about 3 yards trying the middle. Skins punt but not until the 4th quarter starts. Put your 4s up.

Moore returns the punt to about the 40, but an unsportsmanlike penalty on James Thrash adds 15.....Vikings ball in Skins territory. On first down the screen goes to Taylor and he picks up a first. Ball at the 35.

Peterson pitches to Allison on the end around but that only nets a yard. Shiancoe gets the pass and picks up about 8. 3rd and short.....Jackson runs and gets the first, but there's a flag on the play.....it's on the Skins. First down.

Jackson to Wade picks up 9 to the 11 yard line....2nd and 1. First down as Wade gets it again.....first and goal Vikings at the 5. Incomplete on the fade to Ferguson on first and Chester Taylor losses a yard on 2nd down. 3rd and goal....

TOUCHDOWN VIKINGS! Tavaris Jackson up the middle and this is suddenly turning into a game.....

25-14....10 minutes left.

Cartwright takes it out to the 25...first down. Collins rolls out to the right and then pulls it down and smartly stays in bounds for 5 yards. A false start on 2nd down and that'll make it 2nd and 11. Huuuuge catch on the sidelines by Moss and that was close. They try the quick snap to stop the challenge and they FUMBLE!!!

Minnesota ball and now Gibbs throws a challenge flag out there. Gibbs is testing that there were 12 men on the field. It's overturned! 12 men on the field. Amazing.....and Childress is flipping out.

1st and 5 from their own 48. Portis picks up 4 yards on first and follows that with a nice 11 yarder for another first down. Betts picks up one yard to the Vikings 30.....7 minutes left. Caldwell gets 4 yards on the throw for Collins and it'll be about 3rd and 5. Vikings call timeout.

Portis right up the gut and that's a first down! 9 yards down to the twenty. Collins hits James Thrash on a slant for six yards...........

TOUCHDOWN REDSKINS!!!!! Clinton Portis on the pitch! He just broke Smith's ankles on that one.

32-14 Skins.

5 minutes left and the kickoff goes short to Grigsby. Peterson was back to receive that one, so that was a hell of a move. Jackson throws it away on first down but Taylor picks up a first on the screen on 2nd. Jackson runs it for another first near midefield and then Taylor gets another screen for nine.

Peterson gets the first down to the 37 yard line of the Skins. Jackson to Williamson but that'll come back as Troy went out of bounds before catching it. Tavaris to Shiancoe for a few and it's 2nd and 9. Jackson again on the sneak and another first down and the Vikings spike the ball. 2:32 left.

Ferguson gets a first down and another spike for Jackson. Shawn Springs makes a nice hit on Ferguson and breaks up a pass and that's followed by a fade to Allison...a flag is thrown on Smoot but that ball was in the stands. It's ruled uncatchable. 4th and 10 and Landry destroys Jackson he just chucks it up in the air.

There's a horrible call on Torrence though and an interference penalty puts it at the one........

TOUCHDOWN VIKINGS! Jackson on the sneak and that drops the lead to 11 at the two minute warning.....

32-21 now.

The onside kick goes out of bounds and the Skins take the ball. A run by Portis losses a bunch of yards and the Vikings call timeout with 1:50 to go. Another run by Portis goes nowhere and the Vikings call their last timeout. Betts up the middle to the 30 and the clock runs. The Skins call timeout with 1:04 left. Frost punts down to the 5 and the Vikings will have a minute and a full field to travel.

Taylor on the screen for 8 yards, Jackson picks up the first on the run and the Vikings don't even bother to spike it. That's the game folks.

32-21 Redskins win. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing Todd Collins looks in this offense and it's the Cowboys at home for a trip to Seattle and the Playoffs. Great game if you're a Skins fan. Videos and other goodness coming tomorrow.

I'll see you for some Bowl Game live-blogs and I'll be doing the Pats-Giants game next Saturday. Cheers!

Good evening folks. S2N and I decided to switch up our live-blogging duties for this weekend, so I hope you're not mad that you get me (AA) tonight. As it turns out we'll both be covering our favorite teams, but I'll try not to be too much of a homer tonight.

See you after the Dolphins-Pats game around 7:30ish for a night of Holiday Cheer and a celebration of a game with playoff implications (I think this is the first one I've got this year).

Drop what you're doing right now! The finale of Duel is on!!! Just kidding. The highlight of the pregame was a hilarious look at an old Chris Collinsworth commercial where he tries to pick up a girl with his Super Bowl ring. From the one the Bengals lost. That'll be up tomorrow.

Can somebody please explain to me the reason for the existence of that stripe on Peter King's head? (Via Anon)

I'm not entirely too sure. It's like Rasheed Wallace's white spot. There's our girl Queen Latifah in her Skins jersey it's time to do this thing.....
____________________________________

Hi Al! Umm, NBC....you can get rid of the letterbox and go widescreen anytime now.

"I like Joe Gibbs in these situations."- John Madden

That makes one of us. Skins get the ball first and we're underway....Cartwright gets it out just past the 20, and ARE does his best Ron Burgundy impression. Incomplete pass on first down to Moss. Play action to Sellers only gets a few and it's 3rd and long....Incomplete....Skins punt and that was not a good series.....

Fair catch by Moore at the Vikings 37. Skins load the box with 8 defenders and Purple Jesus doesn't get much. Play action.....

PICKED OFF!!!!!! SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! And he returns it all the way to the Vikings 10 yard line. Al also give us our first Sex Boat mention of the day as well.

False start penalty takes it back to the 13. Shovel pass to Portis and he almost gets in....2nd and Goal from the 2. A pitch to Portis looses yards and that's a killer. 3rd and Goal from the 6....Pass to Moss and he is just outside of the endzone....good call by the refs. Skins go for it on 4th and an inch.....

TOUCHDOWN REDSKINS!!!! Mike Sellers up the gut for six.....

7-0. WiathBrad Childress is challenging the call....Overturned and it appears to be a good call. There wasn't a whole lot to overturn it.

AND THERE'S A SAFETY! Whole crap...

2-0 SKINS!

"They could challenge this as well."- Al Michaels on the Safety

Umm actually I don't think they can. Don't you only one challenge a half?

"And Childress won't challenge this."- Al Michaels

He can't dammit! Can someone please tell him that.

Free kick to ARE gets it out past the 30. Portis gets a few on the pitch and that Vikings run defense is huge. Turnovers are going to win this thing. Portis again for 4 and it's 3rd and short.....Caught.....first down on the hook to Caldwell.

Portis cuts back for seven yards and takes it into Vikings territory. EJ Henderson is down and that's a timeout. 2nd and 3 and the Skins try to run it at Pat Williams. Nothing. 3rd and 4.....Collins to Caldwell again. Great route there...Caldwell just turned Griffin inside out.

TOUCHDOWN REDSKINS!!! Collins to Cooley and he was WIDE open. No one near him......

9-0 Skins.

Todd Collins floats every single pass but somehow he's completing them.

"The return of Reche Caldwell's crazy eyes this game has everything" (Via Anon)

"When you and I went kayaking earlier we never knew it would turn into a day like this."- Al Michaels

Man Dates! Nice. FUUMMMMMMMMMBLE! Allison drops the kickoff after he got it out to the 40. Vikings somehow recover. First down Minnesota.

Flex Game is Tenn-Indy for Week 17. Peterson nowhere on first down and the Skins snuff out a screen on 2nd down to AP as well. 3rd and 11....Williamson with the catch but that's a yard short. Vikings punt....

ARE goes nowhere and it'll be the Skins ball at their own 8 yard line. Portis for 3 on first down and Sellers gets a yard on 2nd down. Both runs up the middle for nothing. Pat Williams lumbers to the sidelines for 3rd and 6......FUMBLE! Collins recovers it though. Skins to punt....

Moore with a nice return on the play but there's a flag down. Illegal block in the back will give the Vikes the ball at the Skins 48. Jackson to Ferguson and that goes for about 9. Or a first down.....Peterson gets about a yard on first down from the 37. Chester Taylor picks up 5 or 6 on 2nd down and it'll be 3rd and 4.....False start on Herrera and that moves it to 3rd and 8.....Caught by Williamson.....NO! It bounced in there. Long FG attempt from Longwell.....

NO GOOD!

Collins dumps to Portis and he pulls off a nice run and a first down. That's the end of the first quarter.

"In case you forgot, Eli Manning is unstoppable."- S2N

How could we ever forget? Portis with a nice run on first down for 8 and he follows it up with another yard up the middle. Pat Williams is there again. 3rd and 1.....Collins sneaks....first down at the Minny 32.

Blitz on first down and Collins goes down. EJ Henderson on the sack. A screen goes to Portis and he gets the yardage back. 3rd and 10.....Draw to Betts and that goes nowhere. Suisham to attempt at a 51 yarder......

Botched snap and Frost just dropped the spot. 1st Down Vikings.....I didn't think he was making that anyway. Don't know why you don't punt there. Peterson goes for a yard on first down, and the Skins middle is holding as good as the Vikings so far. 2nd and 9. Jackson throws behind Ferguson but he makes a nice catch in Skins territory at the 45. First down.

FUMBLE!!!!!! Shiancoe drops it while trying to make a move and Gholston falls on it for the Skins. 1st down Washington.

Whoa there's a new Knight Rider coming out? That's awesome.

Collins to Cooley is batted down by Darren Sharper. 2nd and 10.....Vikes blitz but Collins gets the ball to ARE for about 4. 3rd and 6 from the 45....another blitz and it's incomplete to Cooley again. The Skins get nothing from the turnover and punt it away.....

Touchback. Williamson goes nowhere on first, and.....ANOTHER JACKSON INTERCEPTION! Shawn Springs picks off the floater at the Vikings 32. Collins to Moss is incomplete on first down......

TOUCHDOWN REDSKINS!!! Collins to Moss on a fade to the corner. McCauley played great D but didn't finish and Moss just took it away from him......

16-0 Skins. 7:43 left.

Allison drops back in his endzone to field the kick and boots it out into the field of play. He grabs it and is taken down at the 11 yard line. First down Minnesota.

Peterson goes