Before I get into the coverage I just wanted to note how draining last night's NBA Draft was. I can't remember being completely exhausted after a live-blog of one of the best nights of the Sports Year. Maybe it was the lack of notable players in the second round, or the fact that there were no random Europeans jumping out of the stands, but by the end I was spent. Also, before the grading goes down I wanted to note that I don't have anything against anyone on the Draft telecast last night (yes, even Stu Scott somewhat). I think all parties involved are good on their own and know their stuff, which is why this is so odd to say....

EVERYONE...and I mean EVERYONE....involved in the program last night was just downright terrible.

I don't really know what it was, but as a group they combined to makeup the worst coverage team I think I've ever seen. I even waited through the morning to start writing this because I wanted to think it about it again and be fair. Wait, let's think a little more......nope still awful.

The host of a program doesn't necessarily need to be flawless in and out of transitions and segments, but he has to be close to it. That's what made Mike Tirico and Dan Patrick so good on NBA Draft coverage. It's almost like a good referee or umpire. They don't do anything crazy and you don't even mention them. It started off bad for Stu Scott and it just got worse. I started keeping track of his mistakes after a few picks and here's the list I and the commenters came up with.

1. Said Eric Gordon was Big Ten Player of the Year for Illinois (I know there was a battle for him, but come on).
2. Said the only time the Knicks have picked higher in the draft was when they picked Sky Walker at #5 (some guy named Ewing was picked somewhere in the Top 5 I think....oh yeah first).
3. Said the Knicks last made the Playoffs seven years ago (it's only been four).
4. Called the Pac-10 a Basketball school.
5. Lost it during a Portland-Hornets trade.
6. Ragged on the Doc Rivers Gatorade soaked shirt which was auctioned off for charity.
7. CONSTANTLY talked about the record number of Freshman taken and didn't once mention the NBA's age limit.

Etc, Etc, Etc. I know it's live television, and it's far from easy, but that many errors just distracts you from what the other analysts on set are saying. Not that they were ACTUALLY saying anything interesting (which is a perfect transition into the other three on stage).

First up, Jeff Van Gundy knows nothing about College players. He even openly admitted it. I have zero problems with that, but they only went to his strengths (NBA teams and strategy) three or four times in the night. He just looked lost up there and no one was setting him up at all. Jay Bilas on the other hand is one of ESPN's brightest minds in regards to the College game. He knows every player on the board and has stats memorized. That's why I hope one day someone passes along this bit of information to him.....making up terms makes you just sound goofy and a lot less smart than you really are.

"Pick Popability"? "Dunking with his elbows"? "He's bouncy"? "He's a pre-packaged guy"? "He's got an elongated reach"? "He can't find the keys to the toolbox"? "Second jumpability"? WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN?!?!?! Good lord. I know it's a long broadcast, but Bilas has to be (and is) smarter than that. It is so g'damn distracting. Lastly, Mark Jackson....I actually don't have anything bad to say about him because I didn't really even notice he was there. He adds zippy to the broadcast outside of his Draft Day experience being from NY and being drafted by NY. If you note the NFL Draft they only go to the MNF team about three or four times.....THEY DON'T PUT THEM ON THE MAIN STAGE!

I think we all knew it was going to be bad when we saw who was involved, and maybe ESPN was just trying something different, but I didn't think it was going to be THAT BAD! Add to the foursome depressed Stephen A. who didn't even want to be there, an overacting Doris Burke and the euro-stalker Fran Fraschilla and you have ESPN's worst broadcast in years. I'm sorry, but that was worse than "Who's Now". ESPN even let Bill Simmons mock them in his "Diary" they were so bad (more on that later).

I wish I was kidding when I say this, but they made "Monday Night Countdown" look like "60 Minutes". Just dreadful. Sorry for the length but I'm just done with ESPN's coverage of Drafts. They ruined day one of the NFL Draft and now the entire NBA Draft. I don't know what needs to be done to change it though. Maybe it's about time we got to vote on who gets to cover what events? I don't even know anymore....I'm all out of ideas at this point. If you have any good ones leave them in the comments.....you never know when ESPN is reading.

I was trying to get this post up sooner this week, but tonight before the start of the NBA Finals is probably the perfect time. I'm going to take you through the highlights and lowlights of all eight announcing teams, but a note on the coverage as a whole first. Both ESPN/ABC and TNT did a tremendous job sharing with each other throughout the bulk of the Playoffs this year. The cross promotion even mentioned the other station's announcers and they updated you on the upcoming days games for their rivals as well. This along with a great set of games made for a cleaner viewing experience for fans and ultimately lead to amazing ratings compared to years past.

The announcing was actually really good across the board, and like I've said before, no one ever watches a game because of an announcer, but they'll certainly change the channel because of one. There was really only one team that I didn't enjoy but even they weren't that bad. Let's get into it from worst to first in grading terms.
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Dick Stockton and Mike Fratello: D+/C-

I honestly once enjoyed both of this individuals, but for some reason I can't stand either of them anymore. Dick Stockton is just way too out of touch to cover the new NBA game and The Czar is just annoying at this point. Fratello's insistence to argue with Stockton over whether the TNT promos were indeed "very funny" just made for awkward television.

Matt Devlin and Mike Dunleavy: C-

I think I only saw one or two of the games they covered, but Dunleavy just wasn't prepared for the booth. I'm pretty sure he decided to rely on his coaching "expertise" to get by and it didn't work. I don't really have anything against Devlin but he was left out on a limb by his analyst.

Dave Pasch and Rick Carlisle: C+

I think Rick Carlisle is possibly one of the most boring individuals on the Planet, but he worked well with Pasch. Dave Pasch was a great hire for ESPN and while the two don't add much to the broadcast, they don't screw it up.

Mike Breen, Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy: B-

This grade would have been a solid "B" if Jeff Van Gundy would have toned it down even the slightest bit. The whole first two rounds was him and Mark Jackson making fun of each other, and while humorous at times, it gets old quick. The trio did much better in the Eastern Conference though and I think they'll do a fine job for the Finals.

Mike Tirico and Hubie Brown: B-

I started this site because of Hubie Brown, but I've grown to understand and enjoy his broadcasts. Mike Tirico also might be the most vanilla announcer on the Planet but the guy is as solid as they come. The two are also arguably the best teammates out of these eight groupings.

Kevin Harlan and Doug Collins: B-

I despise Doug Collins as an announcer absolutely and completely but for once he was tolerable. I don't know if people told him to stop stepping on his PbPer's feet, and to not mention Michael Jordan every five minutes, but he did an okay job. Kevin Harlan's "No Regard For Human Life!" call on Lebron's dunk was one of the best I've heard.

Dan Shulman and Doris Burke: B

I am absolutely enamored with Dan Shulman and I think he's the best thing that ESPN has in their stable of announcers. The guy is funny, knows the teams he's covering, and interacts with his partners well. That's really all you can ask for. I also think that Doris Burke's work during these Playoffs was actually pretty groundbreaking. I have nothing against women in the booth, but ESPN's attempts have been horrible until now. Her work as a sideline reporter obviously helped her prepare and more sideliners should get a shot.

Marv Albert and Reggie Miller: B+

It almost pains me to write this, but Reggie Miller is growing on me. He still stumbles over his words and is a bit of an over actor, but he works with Marv. Albert was at the top of his game this year and I don't ever see me not wanting to hear him call a game. I still miss Steve Kerr with Marvelous, but not as much.
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So there you have them. It was a great Playoff Season for both TNT and ESPN/ABC and the teams they gave us all worked pretty well. Let me know what you think and you're welcome as always to disagree in the comments.

You know it’s a bad omen for a review when I have no idea where to even start when picking apart a broadcast. ESPN’s Day One coverage of the Draft was probably only slightly behind the 100+ Band view broadcast of last year’s Orange Bowl, as the worst telecast I’ve ever seen. They missed picks, talked over picks and each other, had 40 people trying to chime in, got into fights with each other, and had more commercials on-air than the Draft itself. I was listening to Sporting News Radio late last night and I think their host Matt Spiegel summed it up best by saying, “I was begging for more Mike Tirico.”

Chris Berman is now on the short list of people that should be banned from ever touching the mic again and it’s kind of a shame. We all grew up with the guy but somewhere along the way the schtick overtook any semblance of Sports knowledge he had. He was so lost the entire broadcast that he would have to occasionally pause and rethink his own cheesy nicknames before blurting them out. I’m no Rich Eisen fan, but in this capacity he is head and shoulders above the “has been” Berman. I still think he works well on clip shows and gimmicks like the Homerun Derby, but too many people take the Draft seriously and he’s just a joke at this point. It’s time to phase him out as soon as you can.

As far as the other analysts what can you say? I don’t know when Ron Jaworski got the where with all to argue every single prediction from his partners, but he might possibly be more annoying than Berman. It’s okay to debate the picks and trades but when you’re shouting over top of your “teammates” you just look like a fool. I love his football knowledge and he knows the QB position like no other, but he needs to just settle down and pass along his knowledge calmly. Cris Carter really added nothing and while Mel Kiper’s player knowledge is unprecedented the staged on-air feuds with Todd McShay were unbearable. You need to pick either one or the other and be done with it. The last bad thing I’m going to say about their coverage is that Chris Mortensen should never be on live television. He’s like a deer in headlights out there.

Okay, now that the negatives are out of the way let’s get into what they did well, so they can improve for next year. Trey Wingo should be the host. He leads one of your main NFL shows during the season and offseason and his Football acumen is on par with anyone ESPN has. Adding Kirk Herbstreit on the coverage (presumably for Emmitt Smith) was a good decision and while Michael Smith is a work in progress, he has some promise. Overall the Day Two coverage was actually pretty good and the interview with Caleb Campbell, although somewhat over-the-top, came off as a good addition late in the Draft (even though Jaws almost fell of the stage trying to stand up and shake his hand).

Grades:

Chris Berman: Z-
Trey Wingo: B
Ron Jaworski: C-
Cris Carter: D
Mel Kiper: C+
Chris Mortensen: D
Mike Tirico: B
Kirk Herbstreit: B
Todd McShay: C+
Michael Smith: B-
Producers: F (For deciding it was okay to miss about 10% of the first round)

Overall: D- (only because of Day Two)

You can’t miss live picks, have more commercials than coverage, and have people constantly bickering, and expect to get good reviews. I’m more than positive that there won’t be one major writer in the Country that would give ESPN a passing grade for Day One, and if you see one let me know. Just a horrible, horrible attempt at something they’ve done well in the past.

Video of the Weekend: McShay vs. Kiper (DING!)

NFL Draft Media Review: NFL Network
Weekend Tube Review: NFL Network vs. ESPN (The Sporting Blog)

There’s no other way to say this than the NFL Network dominated ESPN on Day One of the NFL Draft this past weekend. They scooped ESPN on just about every pick and trade and when ESPN was going to commercial, the NFL-N had every single pick live. Adam Schefter was the star of this Draft, as the predicted pick after pick while ESPN’s talking heads were not even talking about the right position. Mike Mayock is arguably one of the smartest people in all of Football, and came off so much better than the bickering duo of Kiper and McShay. Even the two people I usually can’t stand, Rich Eisen and Charles Davis, added to an already great broadcast.

The NFL Network isn’t ESPN, which is good, but that’s to say they don’t still have flaws on their coverage of the Draft. Sure they are light years better than ESPN, but every so often they’ll do something to make you cringe. The first thing was the layout of their graphics on the screen. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to ESPN’s layout but having the pick revealed on the top of the screen just threw me off. They had a giant bar at the bottom with information on the team picking, but a tiny one at the top. Just didn’t look right. Also, I personally can’t stand Deion Sanders and Marshall Faulk. I think they add nothing to a broadcast and one or both should be sent to the studio or home for good. Steve Mariucci and Brian Billick, while not necessarily bad, seemed kind of useless to me.

Oh, and if I hear that Bravery song they used for their telecast, I’m going to shoot myself.

Grades:

Rich Eisen: B-
Mike Mayock: B+
Steve Mariucci: C-
Charles Davis: B-
Jamie Dukes: C+
Adam Schefter: A+
Deion Sanders: D
Marshall Faulk: D+
Brian Billick: C+

Overall: B-/B

If it wasn’t for the fact that I had to watch both broadcasts for the site, I would have never changed the channel away from NFL-Network on Saturday or Sunday. They need to trim their roster down and it's hard to tell if their telecast is good, or if it just looks good because ESPN's is so bad.

(ESPN's review coming shortly)

Well it was a crazy four days of Basketball wasn't it (or three rather)? The announcing was right on par with the games the first two rounds meaning that it was all over the place. Four pairs have moved onto the Regional Semis and Finals while four others have been relegated to radio work or the bench. Let's get into it....

In a complete contradiction to how I normally do things, I'm going to start with the positives first and then move onto the negatives. CBS' changes to the teams seemed to have worked on a whole based on the fact that I enjoyed the first two rounds more than I have in quite some time. Nantz and Packer weren't nearly as bad as last year, and while they are still somewhat boring to me they still provide more stats and information on players and teams than any other pair on the roster. Billy Packer even actually seems to be interested in the games this year which is a drastic improvement.

Another team that surprised me was Lundquist and Raftery. At this point last year my least favorite announcer was Verne. He just couldn't keep up with the games and his partner, but this Tournament he's hanging right there with Raft. Sure they make mistakes and are a little goofy, but they're fun to listen to. I was also very impressed with Carter Blackburn who filled in for Dick Enberg in the first round. He and Stephen Curry both looked 10-years old, but both acted a lot older than their appearances let on. So much so that Blackburn and Bilas was probably the best team of the first two rounds (up for debate).

Here are the passing grades......

Carter Blackburn and Jay Bilas, A-

I just couldn't find anything wrong with this team. Normally Bilas is paired with Enberg whom he feels he has to fill in dead air for. He is constantly talking when he's paired with someone who can't keep up with his analysis. Blackburn actually got him to shut up for a few seconds giving the two a perfect balance of lead and analyst.

Ian Eagle and Jim Spanarkel, B

I'm an unabashed Ian Eagle fan. He was starting to dig into the "Pun Well" in the Second Round, but this team was as solid as they come. Spanarkel is a perfect compliment to Eagle and this team shows what happens when you stay away from the "age gap" pairing. Two young guys and two old guys together is better than the mix and match approach CBS took last year.

Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery, B-


Pretty much explained it above but these two are just plain fun. They don't take themselves too seriously and Raftery hasn't gone annoying on us.....yet.

Jim Nantz and Billy Packer, B-/C+

Again, I mentioned it above, but these two actually seem like they care about the games they are covering. Points taken away for "Hansbrough Love" and having to call blowouts.

Gus Johnson and Len Elmore, C


This probably is the first time that I've given Gus and his partner anything under a "C", but I just wasn't that impressed. A lot of that has to do with some boring games to call, but at times it seemed like Gus was trying too hard. The "Notre Dame- popping their collars" line was just too much. Len Elmore impressed me though and seemed to do much better with anyone other than James Brown.

Kevin Harlan and Dan Bonner, C

This grade should probably be incomplete because I saw this team less than any other (damn you Tim Brando and your upsets), but they too seemed a little lackluster as compared to usual. Maybe Harlan thought he was still calling NBA games.

Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas, C-

Enberg actually did a pretty good job with the rest that Blackburn provided him. Having to call only two games in a day worked well for the veteran and Jay Bilas has seriously upped his telestrator work this Tourney.
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Okay, now onto the bad. There are no words to describe how ridiculous Bob Wenzel and Tim Brando were this Tournament. Bolerjack and Wenzel were hands down the worst team in the first two rounds and if were up to me, would never set foot in a Basketball Arena ever again. The two are not nearly as bad on Football coverage and I've even praised Bolerjack during SEC coverage in the past. Wenzel just provided us with pun after pun and as evidenced with the clock problems he had....didn't really even know the rules.

Brando had far and away the worst individual performance this Tournament. Mike Gminski is actually pretty solid, but Timmy kept throwing off his game every chance he got. Brando had multiple problems with math during the tournament trying to explain leads and how many possessions a team was done, and it was basically a snowball effect from the opening tip of the first game he called. I almost feel cheated that Tampa got all of the upsets.

Tim Brando and Mike Gminski, F+ (only because of G-Man)
Craig Bolerjack and Bob Wenzel, G or lower
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So there you have it. Hopefully now that the dead weight has been dropped the four teams moving on will be able to shine. Although I'm feeling a strong push from Gus coming during the Sweet Sixteen.

Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments.

I know many of you think that I don't have a nice thing to say about Joe Buck, and you're right. Just kidding. I think that our good friend Joseph did an admirable job last night and I was shocked at FOX's overall production of Super Bowl XLII.

Sure it was a close game and that had a lot to do with the record numbers of people that watched, but since I was probably the only person who watched from 2pm until close I wanted to break the whole thing down as in years (or year) past.
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Pregame: I was actually dreading the "red carpet" stuff before the game more than Joe Buck's call during the game. I couldn't think of any possible way they could pull this off, and they really didn't. Instead they pulled an Eli Manning (or Rex Grossman last year), but managing the game and almost making it tolerable.

Ryan Seacrest's interviews never went longer than they should, Terry and the gang were pretty funny throughout, and they didn't focus every piece on the New England Patriots. Sure the guests were terrible (outside of Marissa Miller), the promos were ridiculous, and Paula Abdul was dreadful, but everything else was mildly entertaining. For someone like David Hill, who gave us all of the band shots during Bowl Season, to make something NOT completely annoying was a major coup.

Grade: C+

During The Game: If you had told me before the game that I would have actually enjoyed Joe Buck and wouldn't be able to stand Troy Aikman I would have called you crazy. In the end though that's exactly how it played out. I poked fun at Buck briefly when I posted the Tyree catch and I think that led people to believe I didn't enjoy him. It was the exact opposite. I couldn't believe he was really calling such a great game given the boring nature of the first three quarters and with Troy Aikman stumbling all over him. His one un-energetic call didn't diminish from a great game.

This isn't the first Super Bowl for Aikman so I really don't know what went wrong. I think the ex-QB was just nervous for some reason. He mixed up names, lost the English language at times and for the most part just didn't make much sense. This was highlighted by his explanation of the "Giants wanting to hold the Pats at Half" explanation and his "Eli threwed it in there" quote.

It wasn't the worst job an analyst has done, but I expected more. If he was on par with how he normally is in the booth that might have been one of the best called Super Bowls in quite some time. Actually it probably still was.

Grade: B-

Postgame: I think they went out the same way they went in. Terry Bradshaw was great talking to everyone after the game and the interview by Chris Meyers with Bill Belichick was priceless (via Sports Wrap)...

Grade: B

Overall: Great game and great broadcast. I don't think I could ever give a Pregame Show higher than a "C" when it has Nick Lachey featured, but I was surprised it didn't even come close to an "F". Great broadcast FOX, and great job Joseph. I'm proud of you....now let's see if you can keep it up during Baseball season.

Overall Grade: B+

Top 10 Quotes:

10. "If he'd had to held the ball any longer than he did there."- Troy Aikman

9. "Maroney set it up with a 43 yard kick return.......What set it up, the pass interference on Pierce. Patriots lead by four."- Joe Buck

8. "I've had enough of it. I want to give these New England Patriots that trophy tonight to shut that bunch up down in Miami up."- Terry Bradshaw

7. "Mark this down in your diary."- Joe Buck on the Giants' twelve men on the field penalty (he actually made me laugh with this one)

6. "He throwed it up there."- Troy Aikman

5. "We may not be the best announcers out there but our truck does that stuff the best."- Joe Buck

4. "Pretend you're going after Tom Brady's girlfriend back there. Whatever helps."- Jimmy Johnson

3. "When looking at that piece of tape one thing is apparent. Just how butt ugly I am."- Terry Bradshaw

2. "Another Malibu's Most Wanted."- Howie Long when describing the pregame rapper

1. "Hey Seacrest, the only time I thought I'd see you at a Super Bowl man would be as a cheerleader."- Terry Bradshaw

What can you say about this game? It was a pretty boring affair and if I wasn't a fan of the Redskins I may have tuned in and out. With that said, the team of Ticico, Jaws, and Tony kept the game relatively interesting through the first half and most of the third quarter. And then something happened.....

Charles Barkley came into the booth and they talked about Philadelphia for what seemed like 4 hours. I don't have a problem with them talking about the home team's city at all, and if you're going to have a guest Charles Barkey is the way to go. Buuuuuut it was just too much McNabb talk and you could tell that the scripted talk would carry into the fourth quarter. It seems like they plan on the home team winning and to talk about the home team's quarterback when they take control of the game (i.e. Carson Palmer last week).

By the time the 4th quarter rolled around and Portis ran off tackle they just barely showed any excitement for a Touchdown when there had been barely any scoring the whole game. Ron Jaworski then began showing his homerism for the Eagles and D-McNabb for the rest of the quarter. It wasn't even disguised homerism, at one point he said, "McNabb just threw that one away" when the QB threw a pass at a receivers feet right in the middle of the field.

This practice was/is pretty bad for a number of reasons, but it hurt the team overall because Tirico and Tony Kornheiser were actually having a great games. The team completely ignored the fact that Jason Campbell and the Redskins D was quietly making the Skins relevant again in that second half. This grade is entirely on Jaws this week, and all of the Philly talk. The rest of the game was pretty good.

If it's this bad for the Eagles how bad was it when he did Philadelphia Soul games (he's part owner of the team).

Grade: C, it was about a B+ after the first half.

Announcing Quotes of the Night:

"Let's send it to the Monday Night Football booth where they have all the answers"- Stu Scott
"We do? We're stupid has he not met all of us?- Mike Tirico

"Did you say exotic blitz scheme, like from a foreign Country?"- Tony Kornheiser

"Elizabeth Hasselbeck is worth the turn of the dial wouldn't you say?"- Tony Kornheiser

"Jason Taylor grew up in Taylorsville, Mississippi....Jason Campbell rather."- Michele Tafoya

"We don't want to talk about Auburn right now."- Charles Barkley
"It was you or Christian Slater....good to have you back."- Mike Tirico

"I told them I wanted help, and Shaq was coming out in the draft....they drafted Charles Shackleford."- Charles Barkley

Commenting Quotes of the Night:

"At some point, i am going to live-blog your live-blog."- Lozo

"Exotic Blitzing. Wasn't that the name of the Viking Sex Boat party?"-Anon

"The only thing that makes me happier than hearing "FORMER EAGLE James Thrash" would be "Former Eagle Sean Considine"."- RUTS

"Good job by Tafoya. She didn't say "Randy McMichael is injured. I mean, Randy Thomas."- Anon

"I want a Mark Mangino Fathead."- Hollywood Wags

"Damn, Berman's using more hair slop than Clooney used in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?""- Anon

TNT is really wasting Sir Charles' talent in the studio, they need to move him to games, this is gold.- Phil

"I think Jaws is overrated. Or maybe he just should do Eagles games anymore. During this whole game he sounds like Joe Theismann when he did 'Skins games doesn't he? I understand that when you play for a team it is kinda in you but it really bothers me during the telecast. I feel like I should listening to the Eagles radio broadcast."- Brett

"Chris Mortensen says the Falcons are about to sign Byron Leftwich. I guess that means that he will be a Raven in 24 hours."- Anon
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Hopefully next week's Titans - Saints game will be better, and let's hope we don't hear about Drew Brees getting snubbed by the Dolphins and his Mom all game.

(Sex Boat plaque photo obviously from Deadspin)

Update: The ratings are in from last night's game and they were down 9.6% from last year's Steelers-Jags game.

"We wanted to keep Charles in the booth longer. I think he helped liven up what was a flat kind of game"- ESPN Senior Coordinating Producer Jay Rothman (SBD)

Hmm...I guess I buy that.

Interesting game last night considering all that was surrounding the Patriots. NBC kind of over did the whole spying angle, and at one point spied on Belichick while he was reading a printout. Some of it was enjoyable and some of it was a bit overkill. There was also a moment during the 4th where Andrea Kramer reported that there might now be illegal audio that New England recorded as well....by that point I think everyone was thinking that we should just move on. The Pats cheated, Roger Goddell crapped the bed on the penalty, and the Pats won. It's amazing how everyone quickly forgets things nowadays (see: Shawne Merriman).

As far as the announcing goes Madden was Madden and Michaels was Michaels. John didn't have anything crazy to say and Al was less than his normal grumpy self. For a game that was such a blowout they did a pretty good job.

Grade: B

Announcing Quotes of the Night:

"He is so calm back there. I think he's calmer than Peyton Manning."- John Madden

"It was not a hold. The defender was just overpowered."- Ed Hochuli

"The Charger players were yelling 'We've got them where we want them!'"- Andrea Kremer

"Brought to you by 'Knocked Up', the funniest movie this summer..." - AM"- Al Michaels

I didn't get the exact wording but I was a little weirded out when Madden called Tom Brady "silky". Very awkward.


Commenting Quotes of the Night:

"Jeezis I hate it when Al Michaels calls Brady "Tom", so informal and cute. So much love for Tom, like vomit overflowing in a urinal on the South side of Pittsburgh."- Hollywood Wags

"The Foxboro crowd boos Shawne Merriman. Good to see them make a stand against cheaters. And there's the mandatory "Boston Song" segue to the commercial."- Anon

"And I was about to applaud NBC for not being ESPN and bringing "Chuck" to the game."- Anon

"With all these shots of Cameramen and Radio Equipment, and of them printing out pics of every play, why don't they just start the Spy vs. Spy theme music?"- Dummy

"How can you have LT and Michael Turner, and Lorenzo Neal blocking for them, and you can't move the ball on the ground for 6 quarters?"- Anon

"What would you get if you combined the offensive genius of Norv with the defensive genius of Marvin Lewis? Temple?"- Dan

"At least we didn't have to deal with the 'Parliament' sized halftime crew. If they just kept it Costas/Collinsworth, actually showed more than 15 seconds of highlights, NBC could be onto something here."- Anon

Amen.
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Pretty good game for NBC and can you guess who wasn't there? Keith Olbermann missed the game because of emergency apentectomy surgery, and while I wish you a speedy recovery Keith....I didn't miss you one bit.

I'm still bitter that the halftime show is against showing any highlights of the game that is being televised, and the highlight package of 3 games they show is a joke, but at least Chris Collinsworth got to talk this week. See how much smoother that goes when there aren't 20 people vying for airtime NBC?

(Photo via Deadspin. Get in there Ditka!)

Before I get in to this I just want to say that it can't be easy to call a game if it's not your full time job. With that said.....Mike and Mike have been calling games for the past year in the Arena League and Mike Ditka has been Football all of his life.

First up, Mike Greenberg. I don't know what people see in this guy at all. He seems like he used to know his stuff, but he's become so egotistical and craves camera time that he doesn't seem to even care about the game. His level of incompetency last night was beyond words, and I hope I'm never subjected to it again. I forget who said it in the comments, but I will echo it here. Please go become the next Pat O'Brien as fast as you can.

Second, Mike Ditka.....really looked and sounded like he'd never seen a Football game in his life. I couldn't understand him for the first two quarters at all, and contradicted himself on just about every play. I think it's safe to say he won't be invited back in the booth again after that showing.

Third, Mike Golic surprised me and a lot of others as well. Sure he had a few gaffs here and there (probably because Ditka was in his ear all night), but overall he was solid. I think if you trash the Kornheiser project and put him in with Tirico and Jaws you would have a hell of a team. One defensive analyst, one offensive analyst, and Tirico to keep it all together. That's a winner right there.

Grade: D-

It would have been a Z if not for Golic.

Announcing Quotes of the Night:

"We will get a look at Alex Smith as the 49ers take over next."- Mike Greenberg (It was the 2nd Quarter)

"Walt Harris is a good Football player, but he was a good player in Chicago."- Mike Ditka (He played for them in 2001...two teams ago)

"That was mild pressure. That was a lot of pressure" - Ditka

"That's the greatest 2 yard run you've ever seen"- Ditka

"That analysis by Mike sounded like something a dentist would say."- Ditka

"Watch Gore on this...WATCH GORE!"- Ditka
"They go wide Arnez Battle with score!!!"- Greenberg
"Watch Frank Gore on this gang....I thought they were gonna hand it to him. No it wasn't Gore. It was..."- Mike Ditka
"Michael Robinson."- Mike Golic
"Robinson it was."- Mike Ditka

"I think it might have hit the ground but I think he caught it."- Ditka

"A pass, a screen, a draw"- Mike Golic

Commenting Quotes of the Night:

"I'll make the first "Who's got the number of a good divorce attorney?" joke of the 2nd game."- Jeremy

"Mike Ditka is giving more advice on running an offense. This from a guy who thought he could make the playoffs in his last job with two Billy Joes, Heath Shuler and Danny Wuerffel at quarterback."- Anon

"Greeny sounds like a high school kid calling the JV game on 520 AM The Fan in Oshkosh Wisconsin."- Anon

"I'd much rather listen to Mike Gottfried and Pam Ward stumble through this game than listen to Mike Greenberg's voice that only dogs can hear."- Dollar

"You know, when Bonnie Bernstein is far and away the most talented member of your announcing team, you might want to pack it in and call it a career."- Oops Pow Surprise

"We need to give Greeny a break, I am sure he is drooling over Mike Nolan in his power broker suit. Greeny loves a sharp dressed man!"- Anon

"I swear Greeny sounds like he swallowed a dictionary and is throwing it up in our laps in a mess of adverbs, adjectives, superlatives, hyperbole and prepositions and Ditka is cut off from the Stroh's!!"- Anon

"I just now noticed that Greeny has been calling Edge James 'The Edge' the entire game. "- Anon

"Mike Ditka was going to be a dentist. "Good Thing They Chose Football." Sorry, I couldn't resist."- Anon

"Sorry, ESPN. Maybe Matt Leinart isn't the Future of the NFL after all. Oh well. There's still Brady Quinn"- Anon

"This just in. Ditka just saw the TD replay. He says that Roger Craig scored the touchdown.- Anon

"We really need 2 Monday nighters every week. It's been fun."- Anon

(It has????)
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If you couldn't gather from the comments this game was an abomination of all things Announcing. They talked over each other, they didn't close their mics coming in and out of commercial, they laughed at their own jokes, they yelled at all the wrong times, and you really couldn't understand a word they said for most of the first half.

I have no idea why ESPN didn't go with Nessler and Vermeil again. That call made absolutely no sense. Actually it does make sense, they wanted to promote the radio show just like NBC hypes Countdown. I would rather listen to ANY announcing team them then. I'd listen to Charles Davis, Mike Gottfried....hell even Collin Cowherd before them. Just awful.

If you want to bring Golic in on a broadcast that's fine, but I never want to see Ditka and Greenberg in a booth ever again. Ever.

I really had no idea what I was getting into before I started last night. I didn't really give any thought into how drained I would be after two Monday Nighters, but I'm exhausted. That may have something to do with staying up until 2am, but I'm not sure. I can't really think straight. Let's just start out with what worked last night, you know....the positives.....

First and foremost, Jaws is awesome. If you can't appreciate his genius then I feel sorry for you. I thought he might lose a step going from analyzing game film to an actual game, but that's not the case. You can easily tell he's on point after a preaseason and one regular season game. I don't know if it was because of the 2nd game being so god awful, but it seemed like a solid broadcast overall. No guest in the booth makes a world of difference, and Tirico is growing on me. I think he was just lost having to deal with Tony and Joe last year.

Grade: C+

So you're probably asking why this was such a low grade after all of the positivity above right? Well it boils down to one person, and you know who that is. I don't know what it is about MNF that makes Tony Kornheiser so unbelievably unfunny, but he's terrible. In the span of the broadcast he referenced a 60s band, hanging chads, and Dirk Nowitzki. He's just flat out awkward in the booth. I'm sorry, and it's kind of unfair, but every broadcast rests solely on his shoulders. Everyone is looking at him for something and he gives nothing.

Announcing Quotes of the Night:

"To me I think Willis McGahee should have a good night. He should surpass that 990 yards he had last year."- Emmitt Smith

"When you throw the ball down the field it's tougher in the NFL."- Mike Tirico

"The big hit by Dan Wilcox from Appalachian State."- Mike Tirico
"Where have we heard that before Ann Arbor?"- Tony Kornheiser

"That spheroid is now a pancake, after 325 pounds falling on it."- Jaws
"It's certainly not a souffle."- Tony Kornheiser

"One of five Michigan rookies in the NFL.....all you rocket scientist who want to know about Michigan!"- Mike Tirico
"You're a little defensive about that."- Jaws
"No No just clearing it up."- Mike Tirico

"That's why you put the beam on him. Beam me up Ed Reed!"- Tony Kornheiser

Commenting Quotes of the Night:

"We've replaced your regular Steve McNair with Jeff Blake. Let's see if anyone notices."- Anon

"I wasn't aware Dakota Fanning was a Bengals fan."- Suss

"Could the Bengals front office not have gotten Marvin Lewis a Segway? I mean, honestly, he looks pitiful, and I bet Segway would donate one for the free publicity."- Ryan

"My wife just found out that there's a second game. I think I'm sleeping on the sofa this week."- Anon

"Wow. Did Kornheiser really just start cackling after Jaws used the phrase "Biggest Johnson"? How professional. And mature."- Bstone

"Boller can't complete a pass to the end zone. But hey, remember the video where he threw the ball 50 yards while sitting down? "- Anon
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Not a terrible game for the first team, but it could have been better. I get that Chad Johnson is entertaining, but there are 50 some other players on the Bengals. Again, I know it's unfair to blame an entire broadcast being bad on one person, but I just can't stand Tony Kornheiser. He's wrong about 80% of the time when he tries to say something and is horribly and tragically not funny. He does seem to have a better relationship with Jaws over Joey Sunshine, and it is only the first game. It could have been worse right? You know....like Game #2.

Let me know if you agree or disagree in the comments, and I'll be back in a few with the Game #2 Review.....I don't think you'll want to miss that one.

So the first game of the NFL Season is under our collective belt, and just like I do with the Monday Nighter each week I'm going to give a little review and grading. If you disagree or have something to add feel free to do so in the comments.

Olbermann aside (I'll get a final word in on that shortly) I thought it was a great broadcast. I could have done without Rich Eisen to start the show, but as a whole NBC showed why the have the best game coverage in the business.

Sure Madden gets a little crazy when it goes past his bedtime, but that's always enjoyable. I thought Michaels did an excellent job of calling a game that turned into a blowout quickly in the 2nd half. I also didn't notice any of the new fancy technology, which is probably a good thing.

Game Coverage and Announcers: B-

Announcing Quotes of the Night:

"If you start the contact in an legal position and end up in an illegal position....it's legal."- John Madden
"I'll buy that."- Al Michaels

"Well that's the Chicken Fry"- John Madden
"It's Something Fried"- Al Michaels
"Chicken Fried isn't chicken....they just beat the meat and throw it in a fryer."- John Madden
"It's a lot of fat grams whatever it is."- Al Michaels

"Basically every week you're going to do a commentary every week, and then back track the next week."- Chris Collinsworth

Commenter Quotes of the Night:

"Does Al still think he's fooling us into thinking he's the same height as Madden? It's been 5 years Al. We know you're standing on something."- Student of the Game

"Jeff Saturday looks like Ron Jeremy with a Helmet on."- OilCanBoyd

Pregame Show Grade: B, I missed Kelly Clarkson, but Faith Hill wasn't bad and the fact that JCM didn't play Ouuuur Country is grounds enough for a high grade.

The Halftime Show:

I'll keep this quick since everything that needed to be said was done so in the comments of the video post, buuuuut I wanted to get a few things straight.

I like Bob Costas, I actually can stand Jerome Bettis, I think no other writer has as much access as Peter King, and I think Chris Collinsworth needs to still be in a booth somewhere. I also generally like Keith Olbermann, but this segment of his is just an abomination. I'm sorry but it has to be said.

I went back and watched the video and they had two points about the first half. Tiki mentioned Saints Corner Jason David for about 20 seconds, and Chris Collinsworth had a minute to talk before they went to Olbermann's piece. They didn't even have their whole team in the studio. Here's a question.....

What the hell are the going to do when they have Peter King and Jerome Bettis filling out the room? There's going to be games where one or more people aren't even going to get to talk! I'm sorry, but like I said before....if you don't see this as a blatant ad for Olbermann's show than I don't know what to tell you.

Halftime Grade: D, Would have been an F if it wasn't for Collinsworth trashing Olbermann.

Overall: C+, I'm trying not to let 5 minutes ruin an entire broadcast

Sunday Night Is Football Night! Sunday Night is Football Night!

It's like a cancer.....you will hear that slogan until you want to rip your ears off. To tell you the truth ....I don't even mind it. I don't mind it because NBC could have Jerome Bettis and Peter King strip at halftime and I'd still watch.

Here's all you really need to know.....

1. NBC has the best schedule of teams all year long.
2. Even though Madden and Michaels are old as hell, they get a free pass (to some degree) unless Michaels is complaining about Indoor fireworks.
3. As random as the Studio Show is....it's still the best in the business. It's the only one that actually talks about Football (Frank Caliendo dressing up and making jokes about Bradshaw does not count).
4. The Flex Scheduling

Sure they have about 10,000 people for the Studio Show, John Madden isn't always sure what city he's in, Al Michaels seems bored with life, and Andrea Kramer is way too giddy for my tastes.....But they're still better than any other collection a Network could put together. Who cares if it's a little over the top.
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Overall Network Pre-Season Grade: B/B+

Pre-Season Announcing Team Grade: B- (It will most certainly drop when Al Michaels flips out on the production crew. It almost happened last night when they lost all 12 monitors.....let that happen Week 6.)

9 Folks For One Game
King Takes Dumps On Madden's Bus
Tiki Hazed by Smell
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CBS' preview will be coming at a later date. I only got to watch about 5 minutes of Friday's game. Gus Johnson did seem a little too excited for a Pre-Season game. He's much better in Basketball if you ask me.

Head to Part 1 if you missed the explanation, but it should be pretty easy to follow along.

ESPN actually surprised me a bit as I mostly watched the first 10 picks on the leader. Chris Berman was an ass, and added nothing but bad jokes to the program...but you expected that. The Monday Night team was pretty uneventful although the did look comfortable together....but you expected that too. Basically everything was per code except one thing.....Keyshawn Johnson.

Oh boy was I wrong about him. There isn't a player on this earth that is as prepared as he is for a television role after he/she retires. Tiki Barber looks like "boom goes the dynamite" in comparison. The highlight for me was undoubtedly the moment when they had him interview Dwayne Jarrett. This is a guy that is going to be trying to take your job starting....oh I dunno.....about NOW! KJ conducted a great interview, and was professional and insightful the entire 1st Round.

ESPN's grading is after the jump....

(Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)

NFL Network Grading:

Chris Berman- Washington Redskins- D-

Over at TBL today they had a list of some of Chris Berman's jokes....let's analyze: ”Counter Trey Wingo”,”(The Falcons) traded Matt stump the Schaub.”, ”The Miami Dolphins are on the clock. Is this the time for the Mighty Quinn?”, "Parsley Sage Rosenfels and Thyme.”, ”Carriker has character. Say that three times fast.”

Okay now that we've gotten through that....is there anyone in this country...nay, the world that thinks this man is clever? Hell no, and that's why I'm comparing him to the Skins. Landry isn't a bad pick and I like Blades in the later rounds, but how do you NOT draft a single person for the Defensive Line?!?! That makes zero sense. Just like Berman the Skins just have no idea what the Draft is about.

Mel Kiper Jr.- Houston Oilers- C-

I chose the Houston Oilers for Mel because the last time he was exciting was when they were a team. His pre-draft analysis is unrivaled, but over the years he's gotten more and more dull. Come on Mel....you have one thing in life to care about....let's not pretend it's a funeral.

Maybe he just doesn't have the energy or care anymore. That's kinda how I felt about the Titans/Oilers picks. They obviously did zero research on Chris Henry.

Steve Young- St. Louis Rams- C

I liken Steve to the Rams for a few reasons. First, they were both pretty good a few years back, but have tailed off in the past few years. Second, they pretty much had no impact on the Draft either negatively or positively. And third, they're almost entirely irrelevant because you know Steve will never pan out in the long run....just like all of St. Louis' Draft Picks.

Seriously...they've had 63 picks from 2000-2006. Only one of them is/was an impact player, (Stephen Jackson) the rest....horrible. In fact if I was a Rams fan I'd create a video with Trung Canidate and Eric Crouch clips to show the front office.

(I partially blame Steve's decline on the craziness of Michael Irvin)

Chris Mortensen- Seattle Seahawks- C

Normally pretty strong Chris disappointed me this year. Just the 'Hawks he was poised to make himself standout, and he fell flat. I don't know if he was hungover or what, but he couldn't put a sentence together to save his life. It's pretty bad when you do this for a living, and Keyshawn looks 10x smarter than you during a broadcast.

(How uninterested in life does he look in that picture?)

The Monday Night Team (Tony K, Mikey T, and Ronnie J)- Pittsburgh Steelers- C+

Defense Defense Defense. Just like the Steelers they had no offense. They did look comfortable together, but there were moments where I just shook my head. The easiest comparison is the Steelers trading up in the 4th round to take a Punter. That's right a punter. That position is a perfect analogy for what Tony Kornheiser did with 90% of the draft. He punted it.

The dude left after the Brady Quinn pick. If it wasn't for him dropping he might have left after Jamaal Anderson was selected.

(Also, does anyone else think that Ron Jaworski acts too much when he's on camera? He over accentuates a ton of words and has that Morning Show Radio Voice.)

Suzy Kolber- Oakland Raiders- B-

They kind of surprised me. I was telling people last week that Michael Bush will be the steal of the draft. I mean if some team is willing to take an injured Ted Ginn 9th then he shouldn't have been around for Day 2.

Suzy surprised me in the same way. Was solid on Day 1....didn't do anything crazy (Jamarcus Russell), but on Day 2 she shined. If you didn't watch...Kolber took over the lead from Berman for the later rounds and blew him out of the water. Great job by her....in fact she could easily replace Leatherface.

Keyshawn Johnson- Cleveland Browns- A-

The grade drops to an A- for KJ and Cleveland for one small reason for each. First, Keyshawn should have heckled the Jets fans a bit more. He acknowldged the boos only once. I would have liked him to say something more....joke about their picks a bit. Second, you can't give the Browns a perfect grade because they had to give up a first rounder in 2008 for Brady Quinn.

If they do well this year and that pick is in the middle of the first then it was worth it.

Keyshawn and Suzy saved the broadcast for ESPN. The coverage as a whole wasn't bad, but it was nothing to write home about. The NFL Network beat them in just about every facet of the broadcast

ESPN DRAFT COVERAGE GRADE: C-

That's a very vague and confusing title, but here's the deal. I'm going to take each Network's coverage and compare the analysts to the winning and losing teams in the draft. Why? Because no one else is doing it (and I have nothing better to do on a Monday). Up first....The NFL Network.

Being that I don't have the NFL Network at home I was forced to head out into the cruel world that is my parent's basement to catch some of the coverage. Yes, it is true...I blogged from my parent's basement....sadly, I was clothed.

(I'm just going to get this Simmons moment out of the way early....The highlight of the draft for me was when Houston drafted Amobi Okoye. My father calmly calmed him Bambale Osby (F-Maryland) at least 4 times. When I corrected him for the fourth time he just said, "Okay, Ombobby or whatever his name is." Classic.)

Check out the reviews after the jump.....

(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

NFL Network Grading:

Rich Eisen- Green Bay Packers- C-

Eisen, just like the Packers, is overrated and a complete annoyance and distraction to his employer (The Packers and Brett Favre to the entire League). Just like the Pack, Eisen tries to make a splash and actually be funny, but always comes off as smug and uninterested. I compare this to the pick of Justin Harrell. Taking him at 16 was waaaaay too high, and there are now rumors that Cleveland was offering them a 2008 1st rounder and a swap of picks in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th round picks. That's just dumb to pass up for someone you could have taken much lower.

For a team that had about 1,000 picks they were pretty average....just like Eisen always is.

Mike Mayock- Baltimore Ravens- B+

Here's the thing about Mayock....he's 2x better than Mel Kiper Jr., but gets absolutely zero press. I liken this to the Ravens versus the Redskins in the Baltimore/DC Metro market. The Ravens have been destroying the Skins in every facet of the game....better product on the field, better with the fans, better in the draft, and better at developing players. All you ever hear about are the Skins woes...even last year when the Ravens had a great chance to make some noise in the playoffs.

Mayock is smarter and more knowledgeable than anyone out there. He gives more analysis when a pick is made, and thinks all the decisions through. This is pretty much the reason the Ravens have developed so many All-Pros over the years.

Dick Vermeil- Chicago Bears- B

Vermeil is the smarts of the group. He sees his spots and takes advantage of them by providing relevant coaching and football knowledge. This reminds me of Chicago because they always seem to be in the right spot at the right time when it comes to the draft. Things just fall into their lap...for example Greg Olsen and Dan Bazuin.

Marshall Faulk- Jacksonville Jaguars- C

Marshall is a rookie in the network game. He really needs a little bit more experience and time to grow before you start critiquing him. I liken him to the Jags because after a few rebuilding years they are just now starting to turn the corner, but this year they just had an average draft. Like Faulk, JAX tried to make a splash, but stretched on a lot of picks. They did pick up a good number of extra picks, so hopefully like the Jags....Marshall will build on this for next year.

Deion Sanders- Dallas Cowboys (surprise!)- C+

Always rumored to make a splash and be crazy, but in the end they are really overshadowed by the nonsense. Deion seemed to be reeled-in a bit for the draft along the same lines as the Cowboys. They made a good trade with Philly and also drafted a guy named Deon, but in the end the picks were pretty lackluster. (Anothony Spencer was an average DE for a bad Big-10 team, and the fact that Kiper thinks he could win ROY is just nonsense.)

Charles "Mangina" Davis- The Jets- D+

Charles is the team that you know is going to be horrible going in. They promise that they are going to do right this year, but you're just waiting for the train-wreck to take place. The Jets didn't have a lot of picks, but they wasted the ones they had. I think Revis was way overvalued. He played in an inferior Big East Conference, and just looked extremely slow on game film. Being a Michigan fan I also know that David Harris was burnt down the field early and often. Those picks aren't going to help you against the Pats anytime soon.....just like Charles Davis isn't going to help a broadcast anytime soon.

Adam Schefter- San Francisco 49ers- B+

Adam Schefter destroyed his ESPN counterpart Suzy Kolber in the reporting arena. Schefter is a great up-and-coming writer, and has gotten stronger every year. The 49ers appear to be doing the same. After years of poor drafting they are finally piecing together an amazingly talented and young team. The 9ers are Schefter are ones I'll be keeping an extra eye on during the season.

(P.S.- Schef broke the Randy Moss trade on Draft Day as well)

Overall I think the NFL Network did a much better job with the main players than ESPN. The NFL Network is the Moneyball version of an NFL broadcast. They don't have the same money or the same "talent" (word used loosely), but they turn out a great product for the dollars.

NFL NETWORK GRADE: B

(ESPN's review coming later today)