Man, of all of the slip up you could have on Martin Luther King Day, this one has to be the worst. Mike Greenberg was bringing the M&M show back from one of their thousand commercials yesterday, when this happened....

Yep, he most definitely said "Martin Luther Coon Day", and now he's trying to 'splain himself as best he can. His statement via ESPN....

I just came home from the Knicks game and found out about the mess that was created by my garbling a sentence on our show this morning; I apologize for not addressing it sooner.

And I'm sorry that my talking too fast — and slurring my words — might have given people who don't know our show the wrong impression about us, and about me.

I feel horrible about that, because nothing could be further away from who I am and what our show is about.

I would never say anything like that, not in public, or in private, or in the silence of my own mind, and neither would anyone associated with our show, and I'm very sorry that my stumble this morning gave so many people the opposite impression.

I think it's fairly obvious that it was a slip of the tongue, and unintentional, but the what, how and when are just mind boggling.

(Via Black Sports Online)

Mike and Mike were at the Metrodome yesterday to film that cute Miller Lite commercial you saw last night and to do their radio show. The Star Tribune decided to interview the duo early in the morning, and not only did we learn that Greenberg wants to be in "Guys and Dolls", but that Golic likes the gossip mags....

Their boss, Scott Shapiro, ESPN radio program director and a Minnesotan who claims to have been reading this column since he was 5, kindly introduced me as the "mega popular gossip columnist," and I was aces with Golic.

"That means you read all the same magazines as I do," said the former NFL defensive lineman. "The last thing I heard now, the Khloe and Lamar Odom wedding didn't really go official because they are waiting for the pre-nup to be signed. ... Sounds like it's over [at Brangelina's]. A little bird tells me that Brad [Pitt] is off living on his own, getting back into that life again but still wants to be a dad to those kids [he's got with Angelina Jolie]."

Just as I wrapped my mind around how well I was bonding with Golic, he surprised me with this riff: "I tell you, the one that I'm really worried about -- Jennifer Aniston. What is going on with her? It's unbelievable. I'm starting to think that maybe it's more her than anybody else."

I think Aniston hops into bed too quickly, but I told Golic I thought she was a little needy. "There you go. I'm with you," Golic said. "Are you kidding me! I know all this stuff."

Well that's good to know, I guess. And here I was thinking that two radio hosts needed to know more about Sports than Broadway and the Kardashians. Shame on me.

ESPN's Mike Golic struts his Hollywood gossip stuff (Star Tribune)

There are regular random athletes that come in to co-host with either Greenberg or Golic, but there's also the occasional completely off-the-wall hosts that come in as well. Next Wednesday, THE Dennis Leary will be filling in for Mike Golic on the radio program. Via ESPN PR....

Five-time Emmy Award-nominated comedian/actor Denis Leary will co-host all four hours of ESPN Radio’s Mike & Mike in the Morning (6-10 a.m. ET, M-F) on Wednesday, Aug. 19. The show is simulcast on ESPN2 and streamed live on ESPNRadio.com. Leary, a big sports fan who says ice hockey is his favorite sport and the Boston Bruins are his favorite team, will join Mike Greenberg in ESPN Radio’s studios in Bristol, Conn. Leary, also a die-hard Boston Red Sox fan, will be subbing for co-host Mike Golic.

While, I know that Leary is a huge Sports fan, and I haven't watched M&M in months so I don't know how often this has been happening, but this does seem a little out of left field. Oh well, whatever brings in the ratings.

Sorry, one more post before I head out. I really thought ESPN had rid themselves of the Mike, Mike & Mike experiment, for the late MNF Football game in week one, but that's not the case. They did however get rid of the third Mike, and have replaced him with Steve Young. So your trio heading out West for the Chargers-Raiders game on September 14th is, Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic and Young.

But wait....there's more! Not only will Greeny and Golic be calling the late game for the third year in a row, but they will be hosting the 6pm Sports Center on Mondays, throughout the NFL season. Via ESPN PR....

Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic, co-hosts of ESPN Radio’s popular Mike & Mike in the Morning, will team with ESPN studio analyst and Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young to call the San Diego Chargers-Oakland Raiders game as part of ESPN’s season-opening Monday Night Football doubleheader on September 14 at 10:15 p.m. ET. The game will follow the Buffalo Bills- New England Patriots telecast (7 p.m.) when ESPN’s main commentator team of Mike Tirico and analysts Jon Gruden and Ron Jaworski makes its regular season debut.

Greenberg and Golic will also expand their roles on Mondays during the NFL season as co-hosts of the 6 p.m. edition of SportsCenter. The duo will recap all of Sunday’s NFL games and other weekend sports news, and look ahead to each week’s Monday Night Football matchup, by bookending their Mondays from 6-10 a.m. on ESPN Radio (simulcast on ESPN2) and hosting the one-hour SportsCenter from the ESPN studios in Bristol, Conn., beginning Sept. 21.

“As we kick off the 40th season of Monday Night Football, we are excited to have the familiar faces and voices of Mike and Mike back on the doubleheader game this year alongside Steve, a Hall of Famer, who will offer the kinds of insightful opinions that have made him one of our top NFL analysts all these years,” said Norby Williamson, executive vice president, production, ESPN. “We are equally pleased to create yet another new role for Mike and Mike on the 6 p.m. SportsCenter in the latest evolution of our season-long ‘game around the game’ coverage of Monday Night Football.”

Ugh. Mike Golic isn't the worst, but his Football cliches become annoying quickly, and Greenberg can't seem to keep up with the pace of the game. While Mike Ditka was dreadful, he was the only thing remotely entertaining about the broadcasts in year's past.

I completely understand that this is a whole cross promotion thing, but the two are terrible calling games. The game is unwatchable by the second quarter. ESPN should really just pu a college play-by-play guy in with one of their 40 analysts on staff, and they'd be fine. Any combination of Sean McDonough/Ron Franklin and Young/Dilfer/Hasselbeck/Tom Jackson, and you'd have a great broadcast.

Mike and Mike have some promotions coming up that I wanted to point, and while I know most are stunts to gain viewers, a couple are actually pretty cool. The first being their yearly auction of themselves for the Jimmy V Foundation. Yes, you can bid on having the duo come to your house (basement if you're a blogger), and broadcast live! Last year's broadcasts was pretty fun, and of course, it goes to a good cause.

The second idea, is a little goofy, but the guests they have lined up are amazing. Mike and Mike will be going 80s for a day, and will feature interviews with the likes of Joe Montana, Larry Bird and Brett Michaels. Yes, Brett Michaels from Poison....

In the middle of the ‘80’s, Mike Golic was drafted into the NFL while Mike Greenberg was graduating high school. On Tuesday, July 7, ESPN Radio’s Mike & Mike in the Morning (6-10 a.m. ET M-F, simulcast on ESPN2) will celebrate that decade with a special “80’s Day” broadcast.

Guests will include former athletes including Larry Bird, Joe Montana, Bears QB Jim “Super Bowl Shuffle” McMahon, Dodgers OF Kirk Gibson, 49ers Hall-of-Fame WR Jerry Rice, Mike “Do you believe in miracles?” Eruzione, and Bret Michaels from the band Poison.

While it wasn’t that Kenny Rogers who sang “Lady” in 1981, “Ghostbusters” wasn’t about the 2004 Red Sox, and “9 to 5” was in theatres 29 years before Rachel Alexandra won the Preakness at those odds, the ‘80’s are still close to the hearts of Greeny & Golic, who will don 80’s apparel for the occasion.

Mike & Mike’s ‘80’s Day’ show will feature:

- ‘80’s-related guests
- ‘80’s-related topics (Miracle on Ice, ’86 World Series Game 6, Celtics-Lakers, Giants-49ers, Everett-Navratilova, sports movies, and “Hello To” USA Today, sports talk radio and NFL instant replay)
- Tri-hourly updates will look back at plays of the decade
- ‘80’s-style graphics on ESPN2 simulcast
- ‘80’s-related poll questions on ESPNRadio.com (voting taking place now)
- ‘80’s biggest scandals
- ‘80’s biggest flops

Themed radio shows can get a little lame, but I think with those interviews filling the spots in between the cheesiness, it will leave no time for Greeny and Golic to mess it up. Please to be wearing Bugle Boy jeans and/or any article of clothing from Body Glove.

I thought about a title that highlighted the more exciting parts of the Roger Clemens interview today on Mike & Mike, but alas....there was nothing exciting about it. The only exciting part came in the first thirty seconds of the conversation when Roger was interrupted by his kids. Here's that, some audio and some quotes if you care....

"That’s exactly right. He’s never injected me with HGH or steroids. You know guys, let me just add to it. Common sense…our family has a history of heart conditions. My brother had a heart attack in his late 40’s, my step-dad died of a heart attack. I mean it would be suicidal for me to think about even taking any of these dangerous drugs. It goes against what I talk about to kids (when I have a chance to talk to kids) of all ages about it. It’s really disheartening. I don’t want to say I have to put my guard up more around people because I’m not that type of person…I’m an outgoing person.”

"I appreciate the time I have to come on and talk about this book and tell you my feelings about it. I think I’ve taken some criticism by not coming out at times, that’s another reason why it’s great having Gene aboard because I’ve always wanted to talk about it and tell people my feelings and my stance on it.”

I don't know why I thought that was going to be anything exciting. Clemens is the worst interview subject ever, but at least Mike and Mike asked the tough questions, which is something you can't often say about them. Too bad Roger didn't want to answer any of them.

Much Ado About Nothing, Clemens Speaks Without Saying Anything (Sports Radio Interviews)

There are certainly other interviews, I think people would care about seeing more than Roger Clemens at the present time (i.e.- Manny), but having Clemens on for his first talk since January is a pretty big get. The former MLB pitcher will be on Mike & Mike tomorrow morning at approximately 8:25am. Here is the shortest press release in history via ESPN PR....

Former MLB pitcher Roger Clemens is scheduled to join co-hosts Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg on ESPN Radio’s Mike & Mike in the Morning tomorrow (Tuesday), May 12, at 8:25 a.m. ET. The interview will be on the show’s simulcast on ESPN2.

I wish they had said what he was promoting, because there's no way he's going on there without an agenda. I'll try to catch it tomorrow, and have video up if anything interesting is said.

Chris Mortensen has stated that he has not spoken to Favre himself, or his agent since last week, but that isn't stopping the ESPN reporter from shooting down a report from one of his co-workers. Trent Dilfer said the other day that Favre texted him with an unequivocal "NO", when asked about his return to the NFL. But according to Mort, his buddy Favre was responding to something else.

Mortensen was on Mike & Mike this morning, and when the subject of Favre and Dilfer came up, he stated that he believed Brett to be answering the question of whether he had hired a personal trainer. Here's the audio....

While Mortensen could certainly be right (and lord knows Greenberg is, about everyone being sick of this), but completely disregarding a colleague's report about the situation is pretty messed up. It's not like that is a first for Mort though.

Mort Tries To Explain Favre's Text Message To Dilfer (Pro Football Talk)

This is a terribly horrible idea, but apparently Mike Golic will be getting waxed on-air to pay back a bet. Every year, Mike and Mike make a bet on who will have the better NCAA Tourney bracket (last year Greenberg had to milk a cow), and that's the payment for this year's loss. Via ESPN....

ESPN Radio’s Mike & Mike in the Morning co-host Mike Golic lost the “Bracket Wager” challenge to co-host Mike Greenberg and now must pay the price. Listeners voted and Golic will get waxed live during the show on Wednesday, April 29, at 8:10 a.m. The waxing can be heard on ESPN Radio and seen on the ESPN2 simulcast.

“I really have no idea what to expect with the waxing, this is really more of Greeny's world than mine,” Golic says. “I expect this to be the only waxing of my life, yet I do expect to scream.”

Greenberg says, “Mike Golic being waxed live on the air may represent a new low, not just for him, or for Mike and Mike, but perhaps for the medium. This may be the low water mark in the history of radio. I fear Marconi is spinning in his grave.”

If anyone has Howard Stern On Demand, check out "Richard Getting Waxed", just to see how painful the process is. It makes for hilarious radio though, and I'll be sure to have some of the clips for you tomorrow.

It's never a good idea to bite the hand that feeds you, but that's exactly what Mike Golic did yesterday. Mike Greenberg and Golic were in New York for Letterman, and TMZ caught the two coming out of their cab before the show. In the impromptu interview, a girl asks Golic about the food he's a spokesman for, and the former lineman states that it's good, but some is awful....

I'm sure Nutrisystem isn't happy that about a million people will see that video this afternoon. My favorite part of that whole video is when the chick says, "Who is that? Is that somebody famous?" Obviously she could have been talking about the two High School Musicals characters the two Mikes used in their lame joke getting out of the limo, but I'm pretending it was for them.

Golic Bites The Hand That Poorly Feeds Him (TMZ)

Man, it took long enough right? You would have that after two appearance or so last season, that the General would have let out a curse or two, but alas we had to wait until now. Knight was trying to link up with Mike and Mike this morning and after thinking he was cut of, had this to say. Via Fanhouse....

On Wednesday's Mike and Mike in the Morning, Knight called in (on the Subway hotline, as the sponsor-heavy show calls it) to talk some college basketball. Things were going fine until a moment during the show when Knight suddenly seemed to think he had been cut off and said, "Oh, s**t. I lost you."

With that, Knight hung up his phone, while co-host Mike Greenberg scrambled to try to get him back on topic, saying, "No, we got it. Bob Knight, we're still there, we hear you. Bob, do you hear us? I think Bob Knight may have just lost us there, so we'll try and get him back here. I was able to hear him."

So was everyone else.

Hilarious! I haven't heard the audio yet (trust me I'm looking), but I can just hear the panic in Greenberg's voice already. Too funny.

ESPN's Bob Knight Swears On The Air (Fanhouse)

I've grown tired of Mike & Mike's stunts in an attempt to get viewers, but this one actually caught my attention. Mike Greenberg is bringing in longtime trainer and ESPN Boxing analyst, Teddy Atlas, for a one-day crash course on the Sport. This of course will televised on the M&M simulcast, and will certainly be good for some few laughs. Via ESPN PR....

ESPN's Mike Greenberg has incorporated boxing into his work-out regime, and Teddy Atlas has made boxing his life. The two will meet at ESPN’s Bristol, Conn., “Wellness Center,” and the co-host of ESPN Radio’s Mike & Mike in the Morning will find out what the sport is all about from the renowned trainer and ESPN boxing analyst.

On Friday, March 6, at 7:40 a.m., Atlas will join Greenberg and co-host Mike Golic in studio to appraise “Greeny’s” pugilistic propensity, with fans able to see for themselves on the ESPN2 simulcast and ESPNRadio.com. Video of Greenberg's gym session (taped today, Wed., March 4) will also run during ESPN2 Friday Night Fights (8:30 p.m.).

Everyone pokes fun at the "metrosexual" nature of Greenberg, but I'm going to pass on that because it's too easy. Good for him trying something new, and hopefully he doesn't mess up the manicure he's scheduled to get the day before.

Dammit....I knew I couldn't pull it off.

He's not really breaking any new ground there, but apparently one of Mike and Mike's regular guests actually think their show is the stupidest show he's ever been on. That guest was ESPN's own Tim Kurkjian, who was "On The DL" with Dan Levy today, but there's a bit of a twist within the quote. He actually meant it in a nice way, or so he says....

“I’ve acknowledged several times on that show that ‘this is the stupidest show I’ve ever been on.’ And I really mean that and I actually mean that in a really nice way. You suspend all journalism, obviously, when you go on that show, and I’ve made the point several times that I used to be a journalist, but now I’m a cartoon character when I go on their show.

But everyone understands that they're not journalists, they're entertainers, and they're just having a good time, and I'm here to help out the company and I love those guys.”

Well, I guess I can sort of understand that. I get that they are "entertainers" (however loosely you want to use that word), but I also think that they should be held to some sort of standard. Part of the reason that I personally can't stand the show, is that they never take a stance on anything, but if you like the show....I'm not going to tell you what to listen to, or watch each morning.

As far as Kurkjian goes, he's one of the best minds that ESPN has, and you should definitely check out the whole interview with Levy when you get a chance.

Spring Training Begins With Tim Kurkjian
Tim Kurkjian Audio (On The DL)

There something about Obama that brings out great things in people. A while back it was an eloquent speech from Emmitt Smith, and now Michael Irvin is the one putting things into perspective. The former ESPN analyst was on Mike and Mike this morning and he had the following to say about last night. Via Fanhouse....

"What a historical moment that was last night. ... From an African-American standpoint, I watched my people -- watched my people -- celebrate the not guilty verdict of O.J. Simpson. They were so hungry for a victory of some kind that they celebrated -- we celebrated -- the verdict of O.J. And I was thinking to myself, 'Two people are dead. Two people are dead' Now, I'm not talking about my people, I'm explaining them here. They were just so hungry to say 'We have a victory.' And I cringe when I even think about that.

"But last night I watched a celebration. A real celebration. A real celebration, and it was a celebration for everybody, and everybody celebrated, and they kept showing this shot, and I was watching, of this little black girl and this little white girl, just sitting there crying together, and I thought, wow. I thought about Martin Luther King and his 'I Have a Dream' speech, and I thought about him saying, black kids and white kids playing together. ...

"Last night we removed all differences and became just one, and I thought that was a beautiful thing. It was just a beautiful thing. I stood here with my kids, we watched it and we cried and we prayed."

Well how about that? I don't care what your political background is, but that was just beautifully put. You can only hope that this pride and overall good feeling continues.

Just for the heck of it....let's go back and watch that Emmitt speech again....



Michael Irvin's Eloquent Expression of Pride in Election of Barack Obama (Fanhouse)

I mentioned the DC radio show, Big O And Dukes, back when Gilbert Arenas hinted at a reality show in an interview with the duo, but today they provided what could be one of the funniest clips I've ever heard. Their show touches on everything, but when they talk about Sports, ESPN comes up quite a bit. One of their station's main competitors in the DC market is Mike and Mike in the Morning, and that show was a topic of discussion today.

They first questioned Greenberg's ability as an on-air personality, but more importantly they played a hilarious clip of Greeny that a listener put together for them. The idea was to collect every time that the ESPN host says the radio program's name during one show, and naturally....hilarity ensued....

In what amounts to a little over two hours of talking, Greeny compiled almost two entire minutes of saying just the name of the show. Obviously it isn't that big of a deal, but it's amazing that he almost stops mid-sentence to get each of those in. He even said, "Game one...Mike and Mike in the Morning," at one point. How funny is that?

The show went on to comment on ESPN a bit more, so check it out if you have a moment.

Big O And Dukes: Podcasts (WJFK)
Could There Be A Gilbert Arenas Reality Show In The Works? (Awful Announcing)

PFT had an item late last night that Notre Dame Freshman, and son of ESPN Radio's Mike Golic, Mike Golic Jr. was arrested at 2am yesterday morning along with forty other people at an off-campus party. This is something that I thought ESPN, and the host would choose to ignore this morning, but Golic addressed the situation right before the nine o'clock hour....

This is College after all, and if kids are going to drink it's good that no one was doing so while driving. It was also good for Golic to address it and in a way that didn't embarrass his son.

Yeatman, Golic arrested on alcohol charges (IHT)
Son Of Golic Gets Pinched (Pro Football Talk)

Okay, this Politics thing with ESPN has gotten just a little too weird at this point. In August, Barack Obama sat down for an interview and the network's PR Department stated that it was trying to get a hold of John McCain for a sit down of his own. They followed that up with an interview at the beginning of this week with the Republican candidate and everything seemed to be over and done with in regards to Politics and the "Leader".

Well yesterday, MDS at Fanhouse put up an interesting post in regards to a potential ESPN "Pro-Obama" stance and how multiple employees have made contributions to the Democratic nominee....

A database search of donations to the campaigns of Obama and John McCain reveals that at least six ESPN editorial employees -- Desmond Howard, Scoop Jackson, Kelly Naqi, John Saunders, Bill Walton and Stephen A. Smith -- have given to Obama's campaign. No ESPN editorial employees are listed as donors to McCain's campaign in the records at OpenSecrets.org.

I asked ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz what ESPN's policy is on political donations, and he told me:

"For ESPN in general, decisions on political donations are made by employees entirely on their own. For specifically folks with editorial roles, we discourage public participation in matters of political advocacy or controversy."

While the post was an interesting thought, I really don't think that someone exercising their constitutional right to support and vote for whomever they please is an issue. I think that point was made in the quote from Josh Krulewitz, but an interesting thing happened today potentially in response to the situation above .

Without any press releases on the matter, and without warning, John McCain showed up via telephone for an interview on Mike and Mike in the morning. With the way that ESPN promoted both Sports Center interview this was a very odd, but it got even weirder as Greenberg and Golic were hyping the Senator's appearance before he came on. Every time they brought up McCain they made a specific point of saying that they were not being biased and Greenberg even said, "And yes democrats, we are working to bring Barack Obama on the show hopefully as soon as next week," at one point. That's an odd choice of words if you ask me and the way Greenie it put it made it seem almost defensive in nature.

You can hear that and see the interview in the video below, but this whole confusion, skepticism and random appearances are the reason they should have never gone done this road in the first place. Whether they were trying for an angle or not, alliances and conspiracy theories are always going to come into play when Politics are involved. I think the lesson learned is to just keep Sports and the White House separate from here on out....

Update: According to ESPN it was an item in a Mid Week update that ESPN emails out each Wednesday. Not exactly the same as the first go around though and it was a bit buried in that release, after a bunch of NFL items.

Does ESPN Have a Pro-Obama Bias? (Fanhouse)
Video: John McCain's Interview On ESPN (Awful Announcing)
Video: Obama's Sit-Down With Stuart Scott (Awful Announcing)

Michael Greenberg of the Mike & Mike show took his turn on the Dan Levy podcast, On The DL, today and along with referring to himself as the "Kelly Ripa of Sports Talk Radio" he chatted about dumbing things down Golic, the show itself, his MNF gig and more. Here are a few excerpts....

On Golic: “I think I have to dumb it down because of Golic. It is impossible to have a conversation on a high, intellectual level with a man whose idea of fine literature begins with Doctor and ends with Seuss. I remember one time I referenced ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ and Golic honestly did not know who had written it or what it was. That was the day I realized, ‘you know, I’m not going to be able to do some things here.’"

On The Show: “We have never had a real serious disagreement. I think that our off the air relationship is the reason for that. I honestly think our partnership should be a model for all business partnerships everywhere and that is that our relationship is purely professional. And by that I mean that we get along well, we don’t have any problems, but we really don’t socialize outside of work."

On Monday Night Football: "Considering I had never done it before, I thought it came off okay the first time, but particularly in the preparation I figured out I had wasted a lot of time. I wasn't nearly as efficient as I should have been in my preparation. Because I didn't know. I spent a lot of time doing things doing things that did me absolute no good. So I think I was able to prepare a lot better the second, and thus I think it came off a lot better."

Now I will agree with the statement that the second go around was better than the first, but it's not hard to improve "god awful" with "trainwreck". While I don't necessarily dislike Greenberg, or the show for that matter, I still can't get over him being just a platform for ESPN to sell products and give no opinions at all. There's a reason that the show is referred to as the "USA Today" of Sports Talk Radio, and that's because neither he nor Golic ever say anything interesting or shocking. You can't be controversial when you have advertisers to think of!

If you want to listen, then good for you, but that kind of programming just isn't up my alley. Good interview though, and you should definitely check out the whole thing if you have time.

Mike Greenberg Talks About His Career and Germs (On The DL)

Last week, it was a double shot of Emmitt, and this week's MNF Video of the Night features Mike Ditka going crazy at random times during the second half of last night's Broncos-Raiders contest! But before we get to that nonsense, I have to talk about that double-header that went down last night.

The main team of MNFers spent a lot of time during the offseason trying to fix issues that have been bothering fans over the past two years. And while I applaud them for trying, last night's game was just as bad as ever. There were no guests, there weren't a lot of fancy graphics taking up the screen, but once again a certain #4 Quarterback was mentioned probably over a hundred and fifty times during the broadcast. I just don't think it crossed their mind that the entire network has just shoved this down our throat for an entire Summer. You would think they would have learned when the same thing happened with Mike Vick two years ago, but I guess not.

I understand that they have to bring him up, but you can really get all of that out of your system in the first quarter. The problem as I've stated many times though is never with Tirico or Jaws, but rather Kornheiser. When both the lead and the second analyst are noticeably bothered by hearing his name in the second half, someone has to tell Tony to shut about about whatever topic he's beating to death. Good for Tirico for finally say something, but that didn't come until the fourth quarter. If the Packers can move on ESPN, so can you.

As far as the second team, just please never subject us to those three again. I could easily be considered one of the worst broadcasts ever if it wasn't for the same three's performance in last year's opener. I think that, and this video, tells you all you need to know.

The amount of ooohs" and "oh gods" that came out Ditka probably rivaled the Favre mentions by the end of the night, but teeth sucking and analysis is what drove me crazy. He did this the ENTIRE GAME! I think Ditka is a smart guy, and that he knows his Football, but he really doesn't belong anywhere near a mic. I normally take the morning to re-watch some of the game, and let it all sink in, but I didn't need to today....that game was just dreadful. Onto the quotes before I get mad....
_______________________

Game One:

"Hi Brett, Hi Diana."- Mike Tirico

"I call this the great gamble of the 2008 season. It's like John McCain picking Sarah Palin."- Tony Kornheiser

"Last year he was the Rookie of the Year and he went over a million yards like nine times."- Tony Kornheiser on Peterson

"He sits and listen when people like me talk about him."- Tony Kornheiser
"Especially you talking about him."- Ron Jaworski
"I know nothing!"- Tony Kornheiser

"That's exactly the kind of pass Favre would have thrown. Does it remind you of him at all?"- Tony Kornheiser
"Yes, but you've got to let it go, Tony."- Ron Jaworski

"It's all about penetration." - Ron Jaworski

"I'm going to put a Favre moratorium on the Second Half. You only get five mentions!"- Mike Tirico

"Our cheese curds are saltier than your cheese curds."- Tony Kornheiser on the battle of Minnesota and Wisconsin

"Driver! He got Winfield to bite, and says 'good night!'" - Mike Tirico

"He was too pooped to leap."- Tony Kornheiser after Will Blackmon's punt return TD

"And the Packers saying to the Jets if you trade him at all you lose you first born for fifty three years or something like that."- Tony Kornheiser on the Jets and Vikings collusion

"Lollipop yes, Lazer no."- Mike Tirico on how to punt

"It's a great storyline, it's a great point, but let's not do this week after week."- Mike Tirico on the Favre discussion in the fourth quarter

"We get the Packers twice more on Monday night."- Tony Kornheiser

Game Two:

"He's got a hole...here he comes!"- Mike Greenberg

"Great cutback, but he cutback into all problems."- Mike Ditka not making sense

"And bear in mind that the yellow line isn't actually on the field. The referees don't see that."- Mike Greenberg

"When he rolls out, he goes to that side of the ride."- Mike Golic not making sense

"Stupid is, as stupid does."- Mike Ditka quoting Forrest Gump

"You remember what happened when Eddie Pipp got hurt? A guy named Lou Gehrig took over."- Mike Ditka getting mixed up

"Oh they were all moving."- Mike Greenberg
"Oh just end the half!"- Mike Golic

"He asked me if I HAVE any answers."- Suzy Kolber on Lane Kiffin

"You got to sue the offensive line for non-support"- Mike Ditka not making any sense

"He's not going to stay with a guy that fast."- Mike Golic
"He looked like a traffic cop there."- Mike Ditka not making any sense

"Great play calling, I can't tell you anything else. Very hard."- Mike Ditka not making any sense

"Can't make chicken salad out of chicken noodle" - Mike Ditka not making any sense

"That's a great run right there. That's a great two yard run. That's a great run because there was nowhere to run."- Mike Ditka not making any sense

"The kid Chris Johnson was drafted in the fourth round."- Mike Ditka on the first round draft pick, Johnson

"Touchdown Raiders!!!!!!! Raider Nation goes wild."- Mike Ditka freaking out
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Let's just thank god that's over and that like Tony said, we only have to see the Packers on Monday Night Football two more times this year! Wait what? Oh fuck me. Oh and ESPN...please, please add a down and distance marker to the screen somewhere. I'm all for the new look but it was maddening to wait for the snap to finally see where the ball was. Most people look for the yardage right after the play, so I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday and take care of that. Thannnnks.

What Exactly Does Co-Horsing Mean? (And The Rest Of Your Monday Night In Emmitt) (Awful Announcing)
Tony Rags On The AFL (And The Rest Of Your Monday Night In Quotes) (Awful Announcing)

So I decided to go with the 2008 Raiderettes for the second half photo mainly because they're just about the only good thing this team is going for it at the moment. I guess it isn't over yet, but...what am I saying? It's over. If you bail on the live-blog, I don't blame you and a special thanks to those staying with me for the long haul. We'll have some fun this half.

I liked how espn's ticker was still saying Brady out for the season is "breaking news" yeah, like 8 hours ago it was breaking news. (Via Lammy)

I cracked up when they head a Brady "Breaking News" fantasy update. And now Ditka is smacking his gums on mic. Dear god.

"He asked me if I HAVE any answers."- Suzy Kolber on Lane Kiffin

Now that's funny. McFadden for a first down. A swing pass to Griffin and that's another first. Don't look now! The Raiders are looking good to start the half. Turnover in 3,2,1....

"You got to sue the offensive line for non-support"- Mike Ditka (Via K Bell)

Or another awesome comment from Ditka. 3rd down and long and the Mikes all say they should go for it on 4th down. Incomplete and the Raiders punt.

12:10- Michael Pittman is now getting the bulk of the carries and Mike Shanahan ruins yet another owner's fantasy team. Cutler to Eddie Royal again and he's wide open just about every play now.

"He's not going to stay with a guy that fast."- Mike Golic
"He looked like a traffic cop there."- Mike Ditka

Hahahaha what? In the meantime....

Cutler to Darrell Jackson....48 yards....Touchdown. 24-0

"Great play calling, I can't tell you anything else. Very hard."- Mike Ditka

Okay...I give up.

Dave, Dave & Dave >>> Mike, Mike & Mike (Via Anon)

Very much so. I'm giving up on the time stamps because I'm just too lazy at this point. Russell fumbles but recovers and somehow the Raiders still manage to get a personal foul penalty. I think it's safe to say that the Raiders' offense is much worse than the Skins. I'm not proud of that, but it's the little things, you know?

Ditka has to be drunk at this point right? I guess I would be too if I was calling this game.

"You try to say the glass is half full, but it's fallen off the counter and shattered."- Mike Golic

Clever. 6:30 left in the third.

" . . . have him deliver your wife a baby" was the comment coming back from the ad break around 12:18 ET with the video showing a scary guy with prongs on his shoulders and crazy face paint. Think it was Golic, but I'm not sure. Funny when they come back early from the break. The production on this late MNF game always is shoddy. (Via Hopped Up)

Damn I missed it. Ditka with more "Oh Boy"s during an eight yard Cutler run and this one is just a laugher on all ends at this point.

"It's not over but she's sure looking up her lungs."- Mike Ditka

What in the hell?

Broncos get a Field Goal somewhere along the way and it's now 27-0.

Nice shot of the Crypt Keeper hanging out in his luxury box. Now the conversation turns to the Raiders drafting abilities and while it's a boring discussion...anything is better than Favre talk at this point. Yes, even from this crew.

That's the end of the third....finally. One more to go....27-0 Denver.

"Can't make chicken salad out of chicken noodle" - Mike Ditka (Via JFein)

"That's a great run right there. That's a great two yard run. That's (amazingly bad stutter) a great run because there was nowhere to run."- Mike Ditka (Via NHZ)

I don't even think he got two yards on that play either. Jamarcus Russell puts a few throws together and don't look now....the Raiders are in the redzone! 4th down....

WHOOOOOOOOO! Touchdown Raiders!!! Russell to Lelie....27-7 Broncos and Mike Ditka starts humming some random song.

Who gave the Stooges the idea that psycho-analyzing every play makes for good television PBP? When Oakland makes a 4 yard completion with 2nd and Goal, you don't say "that's actually a good pass right there." Just say nothing. Talk about anything other than a meaningless 4 yard completion. (Via Kleinias)

Three "agains" from Golic is less than sixty seconds. The guy is priceless. (Via Anon)

"The kid Chris Johnson was drafted in the fourth round."- Mike Ditka

Or 24th overall and in the first round, but whatever. Right coach?

Touchdown Selvin Young and the Broncos.....34-7.

Stop sucking at your teeth Mike Ditka! I'm going to throw up all over these computer screen if you keep it up.

Make that 41-7 after another turnover on downs and a Pittman one-yard run. I think Mike Shanahan might be running up the score a tad.

What the hell is Ditka talking about with this pathetic broken record of "you never see it coming" when it comes to blow outs? (Via Anon)

I have no idea and I don't think anyone else does either. Russell again with an overthrow of a deep ball to a wide open receiver. Now this trio is talking about Brett Favre....kill me. 4 minutes to go. Fargas breaks one and he's just about the only Raider who's still trying.

2 Minute Warning....Thank God. Touchdown Raiders as Ronald Curry grabs one and Ditka proceeds to freak out.

"Touchdown Raiders!!!!!!! Raider Nation goes wild."- Mike Ditka

47-14 with 1:34 left. Broncos get the kickoff and start taking some knees. That'll do it for this travesty of a game and a trainwreck of an announcing team. If anything it was so bad that it was actually entertaining. So we have that going for us....which is nice.

47-14 Broncos is your final score and thank you very much for staying with me through this whole thing. See everyone tomorrow with reactions and videos.