Kornheiser's Terrible Cosell Impression (And The Rest Of Your Monday Night In Quotes)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Not only was this just about the worst impression I've ever heard, but it was also the most sacrilegious that Kornheiser could have tried to pull off. As if fawning over Favre wasn't enough, Tony tried to pull off a Howard Cosell impression before the kickoff of last night's Monday nighter....

Last night's game was actually rather low on the Brett Favre annoyance level, but leave it to Tony to add just enough to drive the audience crazy. It's become a weekly occurance this year for him and I almost think he's doing it on purpose at this point. The rest of the game wasn't that bad in announcing terms, but there's something about Kornheiser that always seems to ruin the good ones.

Here's the rest of your Monday Night in quotes, but none really compare to that craptastic impression....

Your Monday Night In Quotes:

"That's more than discussing the new Mustang."- Chris Berman on Bill Ford Jr. wanting to fire Matt Millen

"The good thing about being short is that everyone else is tall...."- Emmitt Smith

"This could be Brett Favre's last Monday Night game."- Mike Tirico

"They have so many toe injuries on this team that I assume they must practice barefoot and step on their toes" - Tony Kornheiser

"It's too small to matter, but it becomes the Achilles heel of the foot."- Tony Kornheiser on the toe

"We've head a penalty free first half to this point."- Mike Tirico
(about a 20 second pause)
"Well that's good."- Ron Jaworski
"Thank you for that."- Tony Kornheiser
"You like that in depth analysis?"- Ron Jaworski

"They say he still plays the game like he's in sixth grade or eighth grade...."- Tony Kornheiser on Brett Favre

"It's no fun out here tonight and the traffic in New Jersey is killing me."- Tony Kornheiser channeling Favre

"We put the focus on Favre because people like me are in love with him."- Tony Kornheiser


I think Jaworski wants to kick Korky's ass. Every once in a while, he slyly slams that idiot and then Korky shuts his hole.

More please.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 23, 2008, 8:32:00 AM  

I agree with hollywood. There was a point, late in the fourth quarter that Kornheiser said meekly, "Do you mind if I ask a question?"

I wouldn't be surprised if Kornheiser doesn't finish out the season.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 9:05:00 AM  

I wonder what happened in the booth after that stupid toe joke. I remember last year Tony getting caught with a live mic saying "I got it".

LOL. Jaworski is getting sued, Tony is making him look like an idiot...

That can't be a mellow environment.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 23, 2008, 9:14:00 AM  

Tony Kornheiser is ruining Monday night football for me. From harping about Donovan McNabb's health to Brett Farve, I'm tempted to watch the show on mute. Is it really so hard to say something intelligent?

Paroxi-Wife said...
Sep 23, 2008, 9:28:00 AM  

I can't watch MNF anymore. I turned it on last night, watched for about ten minutes, and flipped it off. Tony Kornheiser makes me physically unable to listen. It's not good for my health to be that angry.

I'll still watch when the skins are on, of course.

Grant said...
Sep 23, 2008, 9:32:00 AM  

Creepy how TK drops the Cosell impression when he's discussing the game after Favre's father died, and then goes back into it afterwards.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 9:52:00 AM  

I've noticed that Mike and Jaws have stopped selling some of his really bad jokes. Instead of fake laughs, there's about two seconds of silence. It's akward, but great.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 9:54:00 AM  

Did anybody else catch what Jaws said after Cromartie's near-interception in the first quarter? During the replay of Favre throwing the pass, he actually used the term "Favre-like." Unreal. Kornheiser is abysmal, but Jaws has to win for worst moment of the night.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 10:10:00 AM  

Nothing beats the awfulness of that incredibly stupid toe joke.

He just blurts out whatever is on his mind at any moment, like some mental patient with tourette's.

"Toes, yeah, the don't practice with shoes, get it? Toes!"

hollywood wags said...
Sep 23, 2008, 10:21:00 AM  

You're all looking at this the wrong way. At my local bar, we created a MNF drinking game. Take a drink every time there's a Favre mention. You'll be wasted in no time, and alcohol helps us tolerate the abysmal announcing.

Of course, last night's Jets game sent several regulars to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped. Beats listening to the drivel from the announcer's booth, though.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 10:45:00 AM  

Absolutely ridiculous yesterday, for the whole ESPN team. The Favre coverage was insane. At one point I flipped to ESPN, favre. I flipped to ESPNNEWS, favre. I flipped BACK to ESPN, guess what? Favre again. I was seriously shocked, and these were with 5 minute intervals. Leave it up to Tony to Favre it up. That was terrible. I hope that was the Jets last game of the year on MNF or Sunday Night Football.

Englishman said...
Sep 23, 2008, 10:55:00 AM  

anon 9:54, that is my favorite part now. When the booth doesn't give him pity laughs anymore and the awkward silence! Awesome.

GMoney said...
Sep 23, 2008, 11:00:00 AM  

Personaly, I didn't mind the Cosell impreseesion form Tony. I thought it was fine. I have heard worse. Jaws and Tony have better chemostry than Tony did with that scum-bag Joe Theisman. Witch I'm happy to see has found a job, doing Pid Pograming selling some dopey product. Have a nice time with that Joey, You Putz.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 11:04:00 AM  

Paid Programing.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 11:06:00 AM  

I remember one Tuesday morning Korky saying on his DC radio show before he got the NFL Monday nite gig that he did not watch the Monday nite game. I was like you are a sports radio host and you did not watch last nite's game. He said he goes to bed early. Then he gets the Monday nite gig. Rediculous. I am more qualified

Sep 23, 2008, 11:12:00 AM  

MNF continues to be more of an event than a football game, and the announcing team a bunch of bad entertainers. Lord, I miss Summerall, Ray Scott, Charlie Jones, Curt Gowdy, Lindsay Nelson .....

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 11:19:00 AM  

fire tony.. he blows more than 2 gay men

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 11:36:00 AM  

Thanks for sharing this, I think. I studiously avoided this entire game - actually my family had control of the TV and I didn't protest. I don't think this was necessarily a bad idea, but it was horribly executed. Tony's Cosell impression was weak and then he dropped it for the Irv segment. The producers must have OK'd it because they had to synch the video clips. Still, you have to wonder if they ever heard Tony do the verbal part, or at least the version he did live. Another thought is that there is a "silent majority" of MNF viewers that just love this stuff. I'm skeptical of this view, however, because if they are like my wife, who sometimes like football, but hates talking heads, they would hate Tony K. It seems like the only people who could possibly like Tony K. on MNF are other talking heads - a lot of people, to be sure, but not enough to justify him keeping the job.

dadlak said...
Sep 23, 2008, 11:46:00 AM  

@ anon 11:04

Tony is that you?

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 12:46:00 PM  

I can totally believe TK is passive-aggressively now doing stuff to irk "the haters" out there.

odessasteps said...
Sep 23, 2008, 1:32:00 PM  

I think he should embrace the hate and get even more terrible.

If he can rise to a level of Cosellian obnoxiousness, he will ensure himself with a Farvian place in that rich pageantry of crappy announcers.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 23, 2008, 1:54:00 PM  

The only one worse in the history of the game that TK was Gowdy. But it's a close race to the bottom.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 2:56:00 PM  

I like Tony K, but lets get real here, Curt Gowdy was a hall of fame announcer.

Anonymous said...
Sep 23, 2008, 3:15:00 PM  

Who could say that Gowdy is worse than Korky?

That's ridiculous.

OJ was pretty bad, however.

And Joe "Dermontittit Dawlson" Namath wasn't that hot either.

But Tony Korky is just awful, annoying and terrible.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 23, 2008, 4:37:00 PM  

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