Who: Browns at Bills
Where: Ralph Wilson Stadium
Why: So Tony can further develop his man crush on Brady Quinn
Spreads: Bills -5.5, O/U 40
Announcers: Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski, Tony Kornheiser

Monday Night Countdown Segments:

“Unmasked:” Marshawn Lynch

When asked to describe his attitude going into his rookie season in 2007, Bills running back Marshawn Lynch exclaimed, “Beast Mode.” His teammates feel like the description fits Lynch’s running style and Lynch went so far as to have grills made for his teeth that say “BEAST MODE” in diamonds.

ESPN the Magazine's “For Love or The Game:” Kellen Winslow

Kellen Winslow will be the subject of Monday’s “For Love or The Game”. Winslow’s wife, Janelle, and his teammate Brodney Pool battle to see who really knows Winslow better.

EA Sports Virtual Playbook: Browns Quarterback Brady Quinn

Tom Jackson breaks down how Brady Quinn's short passing game could create problems for the Bills.

(FYI- ESPN is also airing a new "This is Sports Center" spot during the game's first commercial break. The ad will star Carolina Panther's Wide Receiver, Steve Smith.)

AA's Prediction:

I've been wrong about three weeks in a row now, so I'm going to go against my better judgment and pick the Browns. I think they looked pretty solid with Quinn last week, and the Bills offense seems to be regressing as the season goes on (much like the Redskins). I'll see you a little after 8pm for the fun!

Browns 24 - Bills 14

Update: Canceling the live-blog for tonight because something came up. Enjoy the game, and I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning.

Hey AA what is the o/u on Browns flag tonight (Via Johnny Yellow)

The official number is set at 14.

Yep, Eli is showing his true colors tonight with all the errors he's making, but boy was he lucky that the Browns are ridiculously undisciplined, or else that awful fumble would have counted. (Via Anon)

He seems to be settling down now, but we shall see. 2nd Half starting in a few and it will be Giants ball.

"No mistake by the lake."- Mike Tirico talking about the Browns play tonight

10:24- Downed in the endzone, Giants ball at their 20.

Eli Manning with play action and it's picked downfield!!! McDonald then runs it all the way back to Giants' territory. Manning and Burress were not on the same page there.

"Settling down" into 2005 Eli form. On cue - INT # 2. (Via Mal)

Yes....thanks very much for pointing that out Mal. Browns ball at the NY 36....Lewis nowhere on first down. Harrison on the reverse (which was called correctly for once) and he takes it all the way to the 13!!! Great play.

Lewis goes for two and follows that up with another two. 3rd and 5, and the Browns need a TD here. Anderson to Stallworth! Noooooo. Just off his fingertips. Dawson out for another FG.....

Good. 20-14 Browns.

You know your season is going well when your own player tackles you on an interception return and hurts himself doing it. (Via Dan)

Haha...this could become a "You might be a redneck" kind of thing.

So, where is all of Tony's talk about how Eli is better than Big Ben now? (Via HW)

Yeah he stopped all that chatter quickly.

I've mostly been watching the Giants game but everytime i turn to FOX Tim McCarver has just been plain awful. (Via Anon)

Me too. I heard both the bunt/passed ball comments when Victorino was up and that slider nonsense from earlier. I might have to switch over to the game for a bit.

10:35- Jacobs for four on first down, incomplete to Burress on second and they have to call a timeout as the Cleveland crowd gets loud.

"When I look at the Cleveland Browns helmets it looks like someone put the numbers on with magic markers."- Tony Kornheiser third quarter
"Did somebody write those numbers on the Browns helmets with a Sharpie?"- Mal at 9:02pm

Hmmmmm. Manning on a scramble and he gets the first. Jacobs to the left and he adds another first. He runs again but this time he's dropped behind the line. And again....nowhere. 3rd and long....

Browns blitz! Manning sacked.

"This isn't the Super Bowl."- Mike Tirico on Manning not being able to escape the Browns' grasp

10:45- Cribbs goes nowhere and it will be Browns ball at their own 10. The Browns and Giants trade penalties and then Lewis reels of about four. Lewis again and he gets a nice gainer of about 11 and a first.

Incomplete pass as Dinkins drops it on first and whoa....Harrison almost breaks one but is tackled by the shoelaces right before the marker. 3rd and 2....got it. Good run there and Tirico correctly credits the O-line on that one. When they're not false starting, they're not that bad.

Play action to Dinkins....incomplete. Annnnnnnd.....false start. Penalty number seven. 2nd and 15....Anderson to Heiden and that'll make it third and a "manageable", 3rd and 4....

Heiden again and another first down! Kellen Winslow who? All the way down to the Giants' 37....annnnd they immediately commit a hold. Good lord.

"We're betting the over on the Browns penalties tonight right?"- Tony Kornheiser

Edwards is wide open on 1st an 20 and he picks up a ton of those yards back. It'll be 2nd and 6....Anderson to Edwards.....dropped....again. 3rd and 6....screen to Wright and that's right at the marker....FIRST DOWN!

Browns penalty....drink. Anderson to Harrison down to the 11 for 18 yards and that's a huuuuuge play!

End of the third....20-14 Browns and they're looking to score again.

"The dog pound got a bone they can chew on here tonight"- Mike Tirico (Via Mal)

Anderson rolls out....HIT.....TOUCHDOWN BRAYLON EDWARDS! Way to hang in there. It wasn't pretty but it got there.

27-14 Browns and Ross is down for the Giants.

Coughlin is wondering how the Browns are beating his team. He looks confused. (Via BWAlaska)

11:06- Bradshaw muffs the kick and he can only bring it out to his 12 yard line. Jacobs for three on first down and a facemask on him on second down will make it 2nd and 16. Manning hits Smith over the middle for a nice gain though and that will make it 3rd and 4....

Manning to Smith again! First down. The other S. Smith is everywhere tonight. Eric Wright on the corner blitz and he brings down Jacobs. Wright is having a great game tonight. Jacobs gets a nice gainer on 2nd down and it'll be 3rd and short....

Manning to Burress and that was too easy. Braylon Edwards tries to strip him on the sidelines, but that doesn't work either. First down into Browns' territory. Ward up the middle and he's all the way to the 30! Another first.

And Ward again....almost the same exact play. First down at the Browns' 15. Jacobs for five......

Manning under pressure....PICKED! It's Wright and he only has Manning to beat.....GONE!!!!! Pick six for the Browns....amazing. That makes three for Eli....

35-14 Browns with 8 minutes left to go!

Baseball time! Top of the 8th Phillies have a man on first and Pat Burrell pops it up for out number one. Victorino up.....

GONE! TWO-RUN SHOT TO RIGHT!!! That's a nice F-you to the Dodgers.

Feliz flies out but Ruiz hits a single and the go ahead run is on. Stairs to the plate. Pitching change.

11:20- Back to Football and of course Eli is making the Eli Manning face. Nice return by Bradshaw out to the 40 and a draw to Ward nets 18. Eli avoids a sack and/or fumble...and hit Burress for another first down at the Browns' 30. Ward again and he's running all over the Browns! Ball all the way to 14 yard line in what seems like 14 seconds.

Manning to Smith, but that's only for a half a yard and they have to take a timeout on second down. Not what they wanted there.

STAIRS KILLS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! Phillies 7-5 in the 8th. WOW! That's a dagger if I've ever seen one.

2nd and 9....Manning to Ward and he only gets a yard. 5 minutes to go. 3rd and 8....Draw to Jacobs and that's a sure sign they're going for it on 4th. 4th and 2....

INCOMPLETE! Browns ball with 3:58 to go.

In other news...Big Brown retired hurting Detroit Shock's chances at a repeat championship. (Via Mal)

"Just shocking."- Tim McCarver

Rollins with a stolen base and he's on second with two out and a 2-2 count to Werth. Utley on deck. And JW fouls it off...and again. Strike out....crazy inning and FOX cues the Rocky music.

Browns ball....3rd and 7.....LEWIS FOR 13 YARDS! That might just about do it. First and 10 Browns at their own 21 and the Giants are out of timeouts. Two minute warning.

That's it folks and the NFC East was officially dreadful this past weekend. I'm switching over to Baseball and will have videos if anything else crazy happens.

Final: Browns 35 - Giants 14

Another exciting matchup this week....oh, what am I saying? We all know how this one is going to go, but I'm still at 100% over the past two years, so we're stopping now. It's Eli and the Giants and ummm.....Braylon Edwards(?) and the Browns.....on Monday Night Football!

See you around 8pm or so with some quotes from Countdown as we get ready for kickoff at 8:30pm. Oh and FYI....John Madden is actually taking a game off this coming Sunday. Not entirely sure of all the details, but it will be the first contest he's missed in 476 games. More on that tomorrow morning.

Can this also serve as an open thread for Game 4 of the NLCS? I'll be watching the baseball game and flipping to the football game during commercials... (Via JFein)

Yes..yes it can. I'll flip back and forth at times just like last week. Just keep myself, and the rest of us, updated.

"This is what I call a trap game."- Emmitt Smith

Yes, Emmitt. You and every other person in the world.

"I know all the prognosticators had that other team, I won't even mention their name right now, winning the NFC East."- Osi Umenyiora

Amen Osi. Amen.

"Eli Manning he has a big brother you know, Archie. Peyton's injury?"- Chris Berman
"Cooper! You talking about Cooper?"- Chris Mortensen

What the hell just happened there?

Looks like Kellen Winslow will be out with a testicle tonight. (Via Dan)

Yeah that's not a good thing. Have you heard that Tony Romo got injured too? My friend told me, but I can't find information on it ANYWHERE!

"A lot of the issues of the Dallas Cowboys yesterday having pressure on Tony Romo, came from the outside pressure."- Emmitt Smith

I'm so confused.

"In 1492, Christopher Columbus....in the ultimate road game. Where was he going? I don't know, but winning in front of hostile crowd....not easy."- Chris Berman

Ridiculous.

"We think Eli is taller and handsomer now that he's won the Super Bowl. Imagine what would've happened if [Jaws] won the Super Bowl." - Tony Kornheiser (Via SS)

Ugh....well no chin music to Rollins to start Game Four of the NLCS, so I'm going to stick with Football. Kickoff is just a few minutes away. See you then.

Picks:

Steve: Browns
Emmitt: Giants
Stu: Giants
Ditka: Giants
Key: Giants
Cris: Giants
TJ: Giants
Boomer: Giants

"Even if Cleveland sails the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria can the Browns win tonight."- Chris Berman

"How did Eli get to be the first pick? If his name was Schwartz he would have went in the sixth round."- Tony Kornheiser

JINX! Okay....here comes the kickoff. Over/Under of the times the name "Eli" is said is set at 43.
______________________

8:40- Browns ball to start and they'll get it at their own 20 after Cribbs drops it through the endzone. Out comes Derek Anderson, and if we don't see Brady Quinn at some point tonight....I'd be surprised.

1st down...incomplete and a penalty on the Browns is declined.

"Penalty on the Browns. That's a shock....they only have nine a game."- Mike Tirico

2nd down and Lewis goes for six. 3rd and 4....HUGE GAINER for Braylon Edwards on the slant 40+ yards and the Browns are in business. Lewis follows that with an eight yard run and a five yarder for the first. Cleveland ball at the Giants' 12....make that 17....false start. Lewis for two on first down and an aborted snap on second down will make it 3rd and 15 from the 17....

Anderson hits Stallworth over the middle but that's nowhere near enough. Phil Dawson FG attempt....

Good.....3-0 Browns, but that drive stalled out awfully quick

"Thanks for Coughlin and Crennel, or I would be the third oldest coach in the NFL."- Tony Kornheiser (Via 49er16)

Damn I missed that one. What does that even mean?

8:52- Giants ball at their own 28 after they almost broke one on the kickoff. Jacobs goes for seven and he's already hitting Cleveland's LBs hard. Eli then hits Steve Smith for ten and a first down.

Romeo Crennel looks like the bad coaching offspring of Andy Reid and Art Shell. (Via Lammy)

Throw in a little Charlie Weis and I think you have it. Jacobs again for six. Eli hits some guy named Michael Matthews and they're into Browns' territory. Hey an incomplete pass! 2nd and 10 from the Browns' 36....

"He's like a medieval battering ram trying to bring down a fort." - Tony Kornheiser on Jacobs (Via SS)

Eli audibles and Jacobs gets about four on a run. 3rd and 6....

PICKED OFF!!!! Pool leaps in front of Burress near the goal line and brings it all the way back out to the 30.

Anybody else notice in the closeup shot of Eli, he's finallay getting his first bad teenage moustache! Good for him! (Via Lammy)

Oh I need a pick of that. Cribbs in the Wildcat and he runs for a first down near the 40. Great option play there. Lewis gets four on a screen and gets another couple on a run. 3rd and about 2....Lewis up the middle and he has it! Nice run there with a quick counter.

False start on first down, and an incomplete TE screen on first first down. Stallworth picks up 12 on 2nd on another slant and that's seemingly all CLE is running at this point. 3rd and 3....

Great move by the TE Heiden! He crossed over a defender and is into Giants' territory. Lewis for three on first down.

"Wasn't Jamal Lewis, Brandon Jacobs, before Brandon Jacobs was Brandon Jacobs?"- Tony Kornheiser

That was humorous. Another penalty on the Browns...that's four. 2nd and 13 at the 34 and Anderson's pass is batted down. 3rd and 13...and that's a terrible pass that falls incomplete. The Browns are trying a 51-yarder into the wind and that's just a bad idea....No Good.

You know you are having a bad season when a quick screen pass nearly gets intercepted. (Via SS)

Seriously.

End of the first....3-0 Cleveland

Did anyone else see that Cleveland Browns fan wearing the Grateful Dead T-Shirt? (Via 49er16)

No....no I did not. Drats.

How many fucking Brady Quinn camera shots will we see tonight? (Via Silly Tricky)

I'm expecting a ton. You know Kornheiser is just begging for him to come in. He probably has 10 "on-air columns" ready to go just in case.

9:15- Eli hit Boss to get into Browns' territory before the end of that quarter and now Ward runs it for 17 and 3. 2nd and 8 at the Cleveland 15....

Ward down to the 11 and some crazy lady is yelling "Believe-land" at the camera now. Scary. Eli to Smith....first down at the seven....

Jacobs just destroys the entire Cleveland defense and falls into the endzone.....7-3 Giants.

Is Jaws drunk? Stumbling all over the place and stuttering nonstop. (Via SS)

He's running downhill just like Brandon Jacobs.

Anderson on a fake.....GOING DEEEEEP....Edwards has it for 69 yards!!! That was a heck of a throw there and it's all the way to the Giants' four.

9:24- Of course they can't get everyone down the field and they have to call a timeout.

1st down....Anderson to Steptoe and he gets dragged to the ground. The ball was tipped however so that will be incomplete.

"You were a hawk on that."- Jaws to Tirico
"He's being helped by that hunter's moon."- Tony Kornheiser

Lewis cuts back....TOUCHDOWN BROWNS! 10-7 Cleveland with 11+ minutes in the second.

I can't believe TK has gone over one quarter without a Favre reference. (Via BWAlaska)

Shocking.

9:30- Giants ball at the 30 after the Bradshaw return. Wright bats down a screen on first down and the Giants have to call timeout on 2nd with the play clock running down.

Joe Buck, showing his on going love for baseball is discussing the fact that the teams can now bring their own footballs to the games. (Via JFein)

Hahahahaha. Jacobs picks up four after the timeout and it's 3rd and 6 for NY.....Eli throws over the middle to Burress and he's WIDE OPEN! 32 yards, but there's a flag. Illegal block on Hixon, but the play will stand minus 10 yards. Moves it back to the 49. Jacobs up the middle on first down.

"I don't want to make a Terrell Owens comparison here....."- Tony Kornheiser

But you will. 2nd and 6....Eli to Burress and he drops it. Holding on the Giants to boot and that puts the ball almost back to the original spot before the long Burress catch. 2nd and 16....Manning deep to Burress down the left sideline and it's batted away. 3rd and 16...

Screen to Ward but a great play by Cousins drops him behind the line of scrimmage. Giants to punt to Cribbs, but a false start sends them back another five yards before they get to. Browns ball at their own 22.

Looks like ESPN figgered out how to put down/yardage on their graphics. Goddamn, they're GOOD! (Via Hollywood Wags)

They've been on there a few weeks now, but they seem to be showing them a lot more.

9:42- ANOTHER false start on the Browns and Jaws is trying to say that Tony Romo getting hurt for the Cowboys is a good thing. He can't believe his bullshit, can he?

Heiden on second down and there's about 6 minutes left in the quarter. 3rd and 5....Edwards on the slant and he's got the first at the 37. Lewis follows that up with four and the Browns are moving again. That's followed by a 14-yard pass to Heiden and Cleveland is across midfield.

Is Babe Laufenberg still backup QB for Dallas? (Via Mal)

A couple of runs by the Browns that go nowhere, one in the "Flash/Wildcat" offense, and it'll be 3rd and long after an injury timeout. Wow! Anderson hits Steptoe and they've got another first......

ANDERSON TO DINKINS.....Touchdown Cleveland. Right over the middle to his backup tight end and that was a gorgeous pass....

17-7 Browns with 2:15 to go in the half

Guess we won't see Brady Quinn tonight....and hey....right on cue, Tony says the same thing.

9:53- Manning hits Steve Smith and that's the two minute warning. After the timeout the Eli passes to Smith again for a first down and they're at midfield. The Browns blitz, Eli just throws it up to Steve Smith and he catches it. If that was two years ago, that would have been a pick six.

Manning to Smith again....this time for 14 and it's down to the 21. One minute to go....and ohhhhh....Eric Wright just misses and INT. 2nd and 10....fade to Hixon and that's not working. 3rd and 10....

Eric Wright just did his best Booker T impression. (Via Anon)

MANNING SACKED! Fumble and the Browns have it!!! Scratch that....illegal contact on Cleveland and that'll give the Giants a first down with :47 left.

There's a review now to see if the ball came out before the flag. No one on the MNF crew seems to know why. Back from commercial, Ward runs it up the middle inside the ten and it's 2nd and 3. Manning to Hixon for a first down and it's a first and goal at the three....Giants use their last timeout with :17 left....

Manning to Burress....TOUCHDOWN G-MEN! Beautiful fade there and Terry Cousins didn't even have a shot.

17-14 Browns now and that should do it for the half. I'll see you in another thread for some Baseball-Football combo, as we get near the end of each game.

Who: Giants at Browns
Where: Cleveland Browns Stadium
Why: ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, ELI, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO, BRETT FAVRE, ROMO, ROMO, ROMO
Spreads: Giant -9, O/U 44
Announcers: Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski, Tony Kornheiser

MNF Links:

Before we get to the links there are a couple of MNF items of note. First is one I mentioned the last week, and that's the item of the pregame and game itself featuring a new Kenny Chesney song called, "I'm Alive." Also, injured Giants DE, Osi Umenyiora will be sitting in with the Countdown crew tonight. Onto the links....

Browns hope to turn around season by beating the champs (NFL)
Browns Can't Forget Exhibition Loss To Giants (Hartford Courant)
A look ahead to New York Giants at Cleveland Browns (NJ.com)
10 Reasons the Browns Will Beat the Giants in MNF Game (Cleveland Leader)
Giants in Trade Talks with Chiefs for TE Tony Gonzalez? (Big Blue Interactive)
Winslow Has Swollen, Um, Parts (PFT)

Monday Night Countdown Segments:

ESPN the Magazine's “For Love or The Game:” Giants Head Coach Tom Coughlin
To find out who knows the coach better, the series quizzed Coughlin’s daughter, Kate, and her husband, Chris Snee, a Giants starting guard.

EA Sports Virtual Playbook:
Countdown’s Cris Carter takes viewers on the field to show how Eli Manning has become one of the best play-action passers in the NFL.

Weekly Monday Night Countdown Segments: Field Pass, Quarterback Conundrum (Steve Young and Trent Dilfer offer their views on topical issues), Teams at 20

AA's Prediction:

Pretty sure we're going to get a blowout in this one, but with the way the NFC East teams looked this week, anything is possible. The Browns just don't have it this year and I don't see them challenging that Giant D at all....

Giants 31 - Browns 13

Derek Anderson is tall, but you already knew that.

Rashard Mendenhall (first time we've seen him all day) returns the kickoff to around the 23. Parker gets a first down at the 33. Next play is negated thanks to holding on Heath Miller, and they'll be backing up 10 yards. Parker gets 5 on first and 20. The Glove is smothered by Shaun Rogers.

"That's what they were worried about with Ben Roethlisberger, Big Baby doing a belly-flop on him." - JM

You all are noting that Al and John are very fond of the word "penetration" tonight, more so than most announcers are during football telecasts. Something on the brain, lads?

Budweiser American Ale: Fancier piss water is still piss water.

The Glove hits Miller six yards short, and on comes the punt team. Cribbs gets dropped at the 17 of Cleveland on the return. Five yards for Lewis; Winslow gets hit and the ball goes through his hands on the next pass. He makes up for it with a catch on the next play, but he's short of the first down. Zastudil punts it off to Moore again, and it appears Moore touched it as the Browns fall on it.

The refs are saying he did not, and it looks like Moore whiffed on the catch.

I don't know anyone who listens to Daft Punk that would be caught dead in a Lincoln.

I don't recal Shaun Rogers ever being called Big Baby before tonight... I think Glen Davis should sue for name infringement. - Rob in WI

The Glove hits Santonio for a massive catch downfield, beating the Cleveland secondary like a red-headed step-child. 3rd and 4 at the Cleveland 29 -- incomplete to Santonio. Jeff Reed is lining up a 48-yard FG -- right down the middle, 10-0 Steelers.

And the Browns are either going to have to stop this offensive ineptitude or be a lovely 0-2 to start soon. Cribbs takes a knee on the return. Eight yards on first down, and Jamal Lewis gets the first on 2nd down. Horse Balls to the Soldier for 7 more. Jerome Harrison gets a couple on the next carry. Lewis pounds in for another move of the chains. Balls to Soldier again, and they get a roughing the quarterback against Woodley to tack on to this -- so the Browns will be at the Pittsburgh 34. Balls hits Braylon for another first down inside the 20.

"You talk about a guy who doesn't care about his body." Is Paul Maguire in the booth? - Anon

"Winslow just makes like a basketball player... and out body positions him" - JM

The best part was the pause in the middle, as he was about to Biff Tannen that analogy. - Rob in WI

Just call this boring game off and have Kellen Winslow and Ben Roethlisberger play "Chicken" with their motorcycles. - SSReporters

And we come back to a taunting flag on the Steelers. Is this now a first and goal? Not quite, ball at the 11. Horse Balls tosses to Lewis and gets five yards. Question: if they keep going with an unbalanced line, what's to stop the Steelers from moving all their guys to the other side. Lewis gets stopped up big time on the 2nd down carry, and clearly his last season seems to be an aberration, not a trend.

The Soldier gets flagged for a false start. 3rd down play blows, 4th and 13. FG time.

Oh, and Carlos Zambrano just threw a no-no for hte Cubbies.

Phil Dawson's kick is good. 10-3, Steelers, and we get Green Day for the bump.

How about a Daft Punk break?



Woo.

Kickoff is fumbled, and the Browns honestly could have had it if they'd just fallen on the ball. As it is, the Steelers will get it inside their own 5 yard line. Parker gets stuffed as they start at the 2 yard line, but The Glove hits Ward for about 30 yards on a line-perfect pass.

"I always thought they should rename that section K-9" - AM referring to the Dawg Pound.

How original. - JG

4th quarter begins. Santonio Holmes gets a first down on the end-around (and good on Al for calling it right instead of a reverse.) Parker gets to midfield on the rush, offsides flag against the Browns. Another flag on his next rush, this one's coming back for offensive holding. The Browns give 5 of them right back on a neutral zone infraction. Screen gets very little. The Glove is feeling the twinge in his shoulder after overthrowing Hines Ward again.

Cribbs brings the punt back up to the 20 yard line.

Sunday Night is Football Night, but it's also Laundry Night. Hope I didn't miss too much in those few plays. Horse Balls scrambles for a few yards past midfield. Anderson goes down and is sacked on the next play. 3rd and 7, and Edwards comes up with the big catch at the Pittsburgh 23. Two straight rushes and a dropped pass from Edwards (with good coverage) leads to the field goal unit.

Dawson's kick is good, 10-6, Steelers.

Al just said Matt Spaeth fair caught a kickoff. Can you fair catch a kickoff? Apparently so. More weird rules: you have to have four guys on one side of the kicker, or it's a penalty. Yeesh.

The Glove rolls out to his right and throws across to hit Miller at midfield. That's a good looking move right there. Parker rushes to the 44 yard line of the Browns.

you think Bill Cower is watching somewhere thinking about the possibility of coaching the Browns next year? - Anon

I'd say Coach Chin is waiting for John Fox to get fired in Carolina (do not be fooled by this 2-0 start of theirs.) The Steelers are trying to run clock, and we've hit the two minute warning.

As Jay noted, I hope you all enjoyed that accidental shot of Willie Parker's ass.

Ugh....get this over with already....sheesh. Steelers turn it over on downs; Browns have a snowball's chance is hell with 20-something seconds left and no time outs. Anderson's first bomb is incomplete. James Harrison and Aaron Smith smack Anderson down for another sack, and the game ends, mercifully. 10-6, Steelers.

See you next week for the Green Bay and Dallas match-up. Hopefully, we get something a bit more compelling.

The Steelers hope to swim freely against the Browns defense as we get underway tonight, but as we start, I just have to note, as a Broncos fan:

1) We shouldn't have had a chance to win that game. Eddie Guns blew that call big time; that was a fumble and he admitted it.
2) Mike Shanahan, knowing this, had balls the size of watermelons with that 2-point call.

Eminently enjoyable game. Let's get started on this one. I've got Steelers by 13 points, let's say 34-21. What do you say?

Andrea's telling us about the wind conditions with the wind blowing her hair all over the place. Expect a lot of running today, no matter what Steelers O-coordinator Bruce Arians told Ms. Kremer. (At least I hope so: I started Jamal Lewis in the News League this week.) Anyway, Jeff Reed's going to kick it to Joshua Cribbs -- or, kick it away from Josh Cribbs, as he is the AFC version of Devin Hester. Goes right back into the end zone for a touchback.

Did Faith Hill ask Jerry Seinfeld for that Pirate Shirt? - tiny350z

+1. Lewis gets stopped up behind the line, Winslow catches a short one on 2nd, and we've got third down.

"We're still trying to figure out how you get a degree from Swagger." - AM, responding to one of the Steelers' D player identifying his school as "Swagger." I suspect that is the Agent Zero school of choice, too. Horse Balls Anderson throws incomplete on third, punt is downed at the 19 when Mewelde Moore has issues judging it.

Big Ben's starting with two quick outs to Santonio and Hines, respectively. 3rd and short upcoming, toss down the sideline to Holmes for the first down right over the receiver's back shoulder. Nicely done.

Ben is wearing a black glove on his right hand, and whenever a QB wears only one glove, I want him to bust a Michael Jackson move or something out there. After two Willie Parker rushes, Ben gets nailed on the sack on a safety blitz. Punt to Josh Cribbs, he gets back to the Browns' 20. Scoreless game, and we're taken to break by P-Funk.

Shots of the Dog Pound with Jane's Addiction's "Been Caught Stealing." Nicely done, NBC audio guy. Plus, John and Al barking only tops off the fun. Jamal Lewis bumps up 3 yards after an incomplete pass, and we get 3rd and 7.

"I would bet there has never been a man with a size 15 shoe that can scramble." - JM

Braylon Edwards drops a pass he really should have had, despite the wind not helping. Steelers will be back out at their own 37.

Do I really HAVE to love a QB who wears a size 15 shoe? I mean, maybe Brady Quinn does... you know what they say about guys with big feet... - Rob in WI

Ladies...

Knight Rider is going to suck. Profoundly. There's no way around this. Val Kilmer should be ashamed for even lending his voice to this show.

Parker rushes it up to the 40, but two straight incompletes make for another three and out. The Steelers down the punt at the Cleveland 7.

I hate watching ads for fast food that isn't close to me. Wendy's (25 minutes away), Sonic (2 hours), KFC (20 minutes)....it all makes me hungry. It's not half as bad as watching Chik-fil-A ads during college football, though.

You know your prime-time schedule is in trouble if you're banking on Christian Slater to save you. Yikes.

Lewis gets the first two carries and we've got third down at the 11 or 12. Time out, Browns.

...having just seen that Val Kilmer is working straight to DVD movies... I think it's safe to say that no, he's not above voicing Knight Rider. And yes, it is going to suck. Val Kilmer needs to eat. - Rob in WI

I understand. At least it's an easy check that doesn't involve actually being on screen. I suspect that would be worse. I have to suspect that NBC flies some of the "guests" like Michael Phelps in, although he and Edwards do have that Michigan connection.

"I'd like to be him for a day, just swim one lap like he does." - JM, as we prepare for another punt, as Anderson to Winslow is incomplete. Punt downed at the 31, we go to break with Gorillaz' "Feel Good Inc."

John, you're not swimming in anything unless it's gravy with your turducken.

Exotic Looks what does that mean? - KR

That's what announcers say when coaches put out more defensive backs or linebackers on the field, but they can't call it "nickel" or "dime."

Ben hits Ward at midfield after Al does his "mocking" tone, which I can't say I've ever heard before -- then again, I never heard him bark on air before either.

Smell the Glove, Ben. Smell the Glove. In fact, that's what I'll be calling him the rest of the night. The Glove has all day and bombs it to Willie Parker, who gets sandwiched and the pass is incomplete. Ward can't reel in the third down pass and we've got our sixth straight possession ending in a punt.

I honestly think we're witnessing Al Michaels cracking up. We're going to read a press release saying that Al's going on an "Extended Vacation" and that Tom Hammond will be doing next week's Colts-Packers game. - Rob in WI

But who will be there to kiss Notre Dame's ass next Saturday and help Charlie Weis with the rehab for his torn ACL and MCL?

Browns go first down when Anderson hits Edwards, who is tackled in the middle. Jamal Lewis gets two by going to his right. Vickers catches the next pass short of the first, but that's coming back thanks to Sedrick Steptoe getting flagged for offensive pass interference. Ryan Clark almost came up with the 2nd and 18 pass.

Clark is playing without a spleen or gallbladder. Ouch. 3rd down pass also incomplete, but we're going for punt #7 after John admonishes the Browns on a lousy play call. We see a lot of these every week: really conservative and silly third down plays that don't accomplish much in the way of field position or anything else.

"Look at the penetration the Steelers defense gets." - Madden (via SSreporters)

...if y'know what I mean. Now, we get encroachment on a punt, which doesn't matter because it's now 4th and 13. This one rolls back to the 25. PUNTING IS WINNING!

Parker rushes twice, gets a first down, first quarter's done.

I believe you guys mean Packers/Cowboys game.. unless my tickets are completely wrong... - Anonymous

Oops.

BTW we got these winds in Cincinnati this afternoon. It knocked out the satellite dishes in the bar I was at, and knocked power out in my apartment for at least 5 hours. It actually took some serious effort to walk home into the wind. - Jay

It's gotta be a pain in the ass to try and throw and catch passes in that.

Madden - "Ben loves Ohio and Ohio loves Ben." No Madden, Browns and Bengals fans do not love Ben. - Captain Redbeard

Yeah, that seemed a little questionable as far as blanket assertions go. It's all Willie, all the time right now, until the Browns stop him. The Glove sneaks to try for the first, and is short. Punt #8 is upon us.

I got a feeling the Steelers will win 3-2. - SSReporters

This isn't Auburn-Mississippi State from last night (I hope.) That game was comical. If you watched the repeat late on ESPN2 last night, it probably was worth it.

Anderson's pass just stayed up forever and the safety McFadden just picked it off. Short field for the Steelers now.

This is kinda like that Steelers/Dolphins game last season... but without the mud. - tiny350Z

At least that was entertaining. This is just...well....dull, or was, until the pick. On 2nd and 5, Shaun Rogers falls on Willie Parker and somehow manages not to suffocate him. Would someone on the Steeler sideline make sure to perform some CPR? Rogers eats Willie Parkers for breakfast. The Glove slings it to Santonio for a first down.

The Glove got enveloped by Shawn Smith on the sack, but he grabbed the face mask and that's 15 plus an auto first down. Romeo Crennel's facial expression has not changed, but he is wishing bad vibes Smith's way. Parker gets to the Browns' 47 after hitting his own guy in the backfield.

Holy crap, you can't even hear the ref's calls. It's like he's reporting from Cape Hatteras for the Weather Channel. - Jay

Did Tropical Storm Ike make it all the way to Cleveland or something while I wasn't paying attention? The Glove throws it away with Shaun Rogers ready to smother him with his giant belly. That's wrecked by Rogers being called offside.

"No wonder he got such a good jump." - JM

"Half a feet too early", John? Excuse me? Rodney Poole sneaks up from the secondary to grab Willie Parker by the legs behind the line of scrimmage on 3rd and 1. Tomlin and the Glove try to draw Cleveland offsides (and they get Willie McGinest), but there was a time out called beforehand by the Steelers!

Parker picks up the 4th down conversion by getting to the Browns' 26. Santonio reels in a big one at the 12 yard line from the Glove. Hines Ward gets the gun from the Glove, but he's double covered and drops it.

"Sometimes what you hear in your helmet can sound like radio-free Burkina Faso." - Al Michaels (via Jay)

Al should think twice about using "Santonio Holmes" and "Deepest Penetration" in the same sentence again... - Rob in WI

I was wondering how long it would take one of you to reference wide receiver dong. The Steelers have a lot of dong pictures showing up online. First Jeff Reed, then Santonio. Next up: we're betting on LaMarr Woodley.

The Glove smokes one to Ward for the six. Kick is up and good, 7-0 Steelers.

Finally, some scoring. Cribbs brings it out to the 19. Lewis gets stuffed in the backfield. Anderson throws to Steptoe for about six or seven. Cribbs gets the carry and gets the 4 yards necessary for a first, while John thinks Cribbs is Steptoe.

Vickers gets another first with a barreling run through an unbalanced line (and it's nice to see that concept explained with regard to who moves where.) Anderson hits Lewis on the dump-off for 13 and a first down, with the two minute warning approaching. Steelers get more defensive penetration on the next play and catch Lewis behind the line of scrimmage. At least the Browns are finally on the Steeler side of the field.

Horse Balls hits the Soldier at the 29; the Browns take a time out. Next play is a 6 yard run and Bryant McFadden gets nailed for illegal contact added on top of that -- and it looks like the Soldier got away with one on McFadden. Winslow brings in another catch, followed by a clusterfuck on the ground from a bad snap and a flag -- which is a false start.

Bungled clock management. Horse Balls sneaks for a first down, resulting in Crennel rushing to call a time out -- when it should have been called before that play. Eight seconds left -- and Polamalu picks off Anderson, with the boo birds letting the Browns have it.

We got halftime, folks. See you in the second half thread.

Brady Quinn helps us dance our way into this Sunday's game, with the Steelers heading into Cleveland to take on the Browns.

This is your open thread for the pre-game show, as well as all bitching regarding the day's action. I'll see you at 5:15 or so for the game; as you are reading this, I'll be heading back from an afternoon barbecue and Chargers-Broncos viewing to take in the night action.

See you in a bit.