Chris Mortensen Knows Nothing About Football And Other Highlights From Your 2008 ESPN "Celebrity" Draft!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Last year's ESPN Celebrity Fantasy Football challenge was so competitive that I didn't think they could do it again. I mean how do you replace such marquee names as Sean Salisbury, Mark Schlereth, Steve Young, and The Big Lead's Best Friend, Jerry O'Connell? Well I'll tell you how....
With f'ing Method Man (TICAL!), Merril Hoge, Roy Williams and Summer Sanders....That's How! Well all of those names mean nothing when you have Chris Mortensen returning to the fray. You would think that the number one NFL reporter on ESPN, would know something about the Sport he covers but alas....let's go to the videotape!!!
He seriously picked McFadden in the second and Devin Hester in the seventh....In an eight team league!!! Are you kidding me?!? This is the guy you go to for all your insider Football information? The same guy who in the draft picked Devin Hester because, "he's a receiver now," and, "he's going to touch the ball twenty times a game," and because the Bears have Kyle Orton!!! Good god. I'm pretty sure Mort has never watched the Bears.....ever. The guy just continues to amaze me and not in a good way. Oh and everyone please check out Roy Williams' team if you have a chance. Guess where he drafted? Of course right after ESPN's Football expert, Chris Mortensen.
I'd also be remiss to not comment on Merril Hoge. He's seriously drafted the following starting lineup: Hasselbeck, AP, Brandon Jacobs, Rashard Mendenhall?!, Santonio Holmes, Anthony Gonzalez and Ben Utecht
How are these people still employed? They deserve to be fired after that showing.
- Matthew Berry calling Mort's pick of Westbrook a steal....at pick four.
- T.O. lasting until Round Three
- Method Man picking Tight Ends in both Round Five and Six (clearly wasted)
- Ronnie Brown lasting until Round 8
2008 ESPN Celebrity League Rosters (ESPN Fantasy)
2007 ESPN "Celebrity" Fantasy Football League Filled With Big Names (Awful Announcing)