Saturday, August 30, 2008
Okay everyone, the day has arrived! It's the first Saturday of the College Football season and the return of the Pam Ward Chronicles. The AA two day vacation is over and I'm ready to go. All it really took was seeing Brooklyn Decker from about two feet away but the rest of the two days was need as well. No on cares about that though. You all did an excellent job of keeping track of Thursday and Friday so let's throw up a few of the better ones to get this thing underway....
"Immediate penetration for Akers the backer!"- Chris Fowler (Via Mez)
"The artists formally known as the Flying Dutchmen that should always want to be known as the Flying Dutchmen instead of the Pride or whatever it is they want to be called now"- Rece Davis (Via Anon)
"And that's a great st-sta-statistic if you're a defensive coordinator because that means you don't allow people to score points. If the opposing team can't score, then it's tougher for them to win."- Shuan King (Via Eric)
"The record he said he will be most proudest of..." Rod Gilmore (Via Rock Chalk Jayhawk)
Not a bad start at all. I'm thinking that Shaun King is going to be a strong contender this entire year. Gameday is in full swing and things the games start in about 30 minutes. Gustav has forced an 11am start time for LSU-App State, so McDonough, Spielman and Rob Stone our are first crew of the day. Keep the quotes coming people! Oh and I'm currently looking for a shot of that Craig James goater. That was so scraggly looking.
"Are we on MSNBC? It sounds like someone emailed you the talking points. And you're going down. Why do you want to defend the ACC? Valid points but..."- Chris Fowler
"Didn't ESPN sign with the ACC?"- Lee Corso
Hahaha. Corso is not openly admitting to hyping crappy conferences so people will still watch. Good to know.
"They can have Maroon 5 but they kicked out Fall Out Boy."- Desmond Howard
Des drops a pop punk reference!
"Well glad to know, in his first hit of the season for us, Rob Stone is already in midseason whiny form."- Sean McDonough after Stoner complained about the 10am sun being in his eyes.
That was hilarious.
"Four guys go out and four guys go in like the storm troopers in the Star War movies."- Chris Spielman
"My opinion of this USC team is that this offense might be better than any offense at USC since going back to the Lendale White, Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart days."- Kirk Herbstreit
Whoa, whoa, whoa! ALL THE WAY back to 2005!? I mean there's been a grand total of one quarterback in that time. That's just crazy talk.
"You can tell I have kids right? Just so I don't break out into a Barney tune here in three minutes."- Chris Spielman
When Syracuse intercepts the ball to end its very first defensive series of the season: "That's his first interception of the year!"- Pam Ward (Via Anon)
"He maybe making his case to put some votes, get some votes for the Heisman Trophy."- Tony McGee
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Indiana Quarter Back Kellen Lewis won't be receiving any Heisman votes this year. I could be wrong though.
"I talk about the eyeball test when you look at offensive linemen. If you look at last year they had skinny legs and pot bellies."- Ray Bentley
Did anyone else just see the little pop up that said AC/DC "For Those About To Rock" when the song came on before the commercial break? Did they do that on Thursday night?
HI PAM! I love the light blue coat!!!
"Northwestern players...looking over to the sidelines...they want to go for it."- Pam Ward,
It is 3rd and 9. (Via Anon)
Hahaha. There's the Pammy I know.
"Fair catch it so you don't get careered."- Chris Spielman
"Careered. What does that mean?"- Sean McDonough
"That means your done. It's over. Congratulations. Thanks for coming."- Chris Spielman
"I asked him what your philosophy in offense is, and he said the number one thing is move the chains. And when you move the chains that lends itself to ball control."- Ray Bentley
"We're in the second quarter..." - Pam Ward
"Do you mean second inning." - Ray Bentley
"The Cubbies, they're on a roll..." - Pam Ward
"You can say it now, Andre: you're a man, you're 40." - Dave Pasch
"What? I'm not a day over 26!" - Andre Ware
"Then you are under the pile and that is where all the dirty stuff happens."- Andre Ware
"The French Uppercut"- Dave Pasch
(Via Half Court Heave)
I caught that one as well and I have no clue what it means.
"It's now going to be a longer third and short...more like third and medium" - Andre Ware (Via Bazooka Jones and HCH)
"I don't think you go for 2 here, just kick the extra point here and make it a 22-20 ballgame."- Andre Ware
It's amazing that an ex-Football player doesn't understand simple Football math. Also, this "Ray's RV" feature is no "Todd's Taste of the Town"!
"His son Shane Beamer gave birth yesterday." - Dave Pasch (Via SS)
Let's go Pirates!
"A Field Goal will basically seal the deal here."- Andre Ware
IT'S 27-22!!!!!! That would not seal the deal Andre! Good lord...how the hell did he ever graduate from Houston?
"Last year we might have called this an upset. This year, I don't think so."- Dave Pasch
Ummmm. The #17 team in the country? Really???
"If he's thinking about taking the redshirt off of Ike Taylor..." - Dave Pasch (Via HCH)
"Offensively they're like a box of chocolates. I'm not sure if anybody knows what they're going to get."- David Norrie
"Then Chris Turner comes in and beats that Rutgers team and BC a few weeks ago."- Charles Arbuckle
Or last year.
"He's academically uneligible"- Brad Nessler (Via jg)
"We didn't know who the starter would be at Michigan. It was highly secretive like a vice presidential pick"."- Terry Gannon (Via Mal)
"Oklahoma is so multiple on a longer field."- Brian Davis (Via Hardwood Paroxysm)
"Both of these teams like to get up to the line of scrimmage and snap the ball"- Terry Gannon (Via Sam)
"Only 4 pass attempts from Bryant, one of those for a score.....He's only thrown the ball 4 times, but 25% of his throws have gone for a score. What if, say, Chase Daniel does that tonight with 40 attempts?"- Tom Hart (Via Eric)
"Oklahoma State, 7th in the United States in penalties." - Brian Davis (Via SS)
"I've got to be right with my balls."- Brock Huard
"Alabama and Clemson will rock your world tonight."- Brent Musburger
Seriously, what the hell is up with all of the AC/DC and who let Brent dress like Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island?
EA on outfit #2 today. (Via Anon)
Yeah she's been changing multiple times a day the past few weeks. I don't know how I feel about the leather getup. Her and Musburger together would make a heck of a couple at a Halloween party though....
"On the streets of Atlanta today we saw ticket scalpers. That's when we knew we had a major event."- Brent Musburger (Via Mal)
"The Atlanta Falcons should be lucky to have crowds like this."- Brent Musburger
"You could see his head was all the way back because it was grabbed."- Ron Franklin (Via Nick)
"A calamitous swing of momentum for Missouri."- Mark Jones
Not a bad call at all, but I can't say I've ever heard that word before. You learn something new everyday. As well as this....
"When he gets the ball in his hands, he's as quick as a hiccup."- Chris Martin (Via Eric)
"I know Clemson is down 20, so their gameplan has changed."- Kirk Herbstreit
"Part of the ligament that they replaced in him was a ligament from a cadaver. Yeah, he's got a part of a dead man in him, but his game is alive!"- Mark Jones
Oh man....that might just be a winner. So bad.
"I watched this guy in the spring and I couldn't keep up with him with my eyeballs."- Craig James
"Alabama gets an A+ right now. Clemson gets a C-."- Brent Musburger (Via Anon)
A "C"? Really?!?
"Well defended by Missouri defensively"- Mark Jones (Via Anon)
"Maclin...gonna break'em off proper again."- Mark Jones (Via Scumdog)
"Last two games he's upset Hawaii and Boise State and now he's beaten Virginia Tech in Blacksburg."- Brent Musburger
Or Charlotte, North Carolina. You know....a neutral site....like where you are, Brent.
"Wide Open! And I mean that is room service with chocolate on your pillow!"- Mark Jones
"This extra point means a lot of things to a lot of people across the country."- Bob Davie
Okay, last point before we end this thing. Announcers should really never be able to recall a 10-point spread like Bob Davie did at the end of the game like that. Mark Jones rooted for Illinois and Juice Williams throughout the game and that Davie comment just solidified who they were pulling for. I know this isn't a new thing, but if you do bet announcers....let's try to not make it so obvious.
Thanks to all of you for making this first day such a success. Be sure to stop by on Monday to check out your winners and losers.