I've been rather easy on Dick Stockton all year long. I've ignored the player name mistakes, and I even decided against pulling the video of him calling the play clock "the shot clock" last week. But after today's play-by-play abortion, I just can't keep quiet anymore.

Not only did Stockton screw up just about everyone's name on both the Jets and Falcons, and call the Jets , the Eagles, about 10 times during the contest, but he spent the last four minutes of a 10-7 game saying the score was tied. He even got the call of the go ahead touchdown, with a minute remaining, wrong (I'm trying to grab the video and will update when I do so).

I know Dick Stockton has been a great announcer for most of his career, and some people still enjoy him, but this has just gotten ridiculous. He was terrible covering Baseball this past season, and he's been even worse calling NFL games this season. It's time to hang em up, Dick....you had a good run at it.

A few weeks ago, I shared a clip of Charley Steiner botching an end of game call. Well over the weekend, Dick Stockton had a call that could quite possibly top the Steiner confusion. Stockton got confused on the final pitch of the game, and called the throw both "ball four" and "strike three". Here's the short, but hilarious, audio....

Too funny. I've thought that Baseball was the perfect Sport for the elder Stockton, because of the pace, but apparently even the slowest game is too much for ole Dicky. Such a shame.

(Thanks to JH for the clip)

Dick Stockton has been known to drop random thoughts during broadcasts, but this one might take the cake. I can't tell if he was just waxing-estatic, or if a graphic didn't show up, but listen as Stockton starts talking about "Just For Men" as A-Rod batted Saturday during the Yanks-Angels game. Via The Sporting Blog....

I know some people absolutely love Stockton, and he was certainly good at one point in his career, but it's time to let some of the younger guys have a try. If you think this level of craziness is bad, just wait until Football season.

Dick Stockton Wants You To Stay In The Game (The Sporting Blog)

I love old clips of Sports broadcasts, and I've been known to spend an hour or so watching random ones on Youtube. Well this clip created by Didn't Draw Iron is even more fun than that. DDI not only used the voice of Dick Stockton on an old 1986 All-Star reel, but he even added in video of current players. Enjoy!

Amazing. This is the most ingenuitive thing I've seen in quite some time. I'm pretty sure that Jameer Nelson didn't get the most votes though. I kid....great work.

Vintage 1980’s Style 2009 NBA All Star Preview Found! (Didn't Draw Iron)

I've loved Pam Oliver ever since that preseason game last season when she snapped at a producer before throwing it back to Joe Buck. She doesn't fit that standard sideline reporter mold, and that's a good thing. Well, yesterday she had what Troy Aikman called a "senior moment", when she completely forgot what she was going to say. Most would have danced around it, but not Pam. No Pam just flat out tells you that she screwed up and to come back in a few seconds so she can try again....

She came back on a few minutes later, and finished her point, but at least she was honest enough to admit in the moment that she had forgotten. Good stuff Pam, and if you can't laugh at yourself....who can you laugh at?

Obviously none of the announcing teams are switching Series, but I wanted to still give you an easy guide if you were, say a Cubs fan, and didn't want Dick Stockton ruining your weekend. There are two games on both Friday and Saturday night, but if the Cubs and Brewers can pull out wins in each of their Game 3s, then we'll have a heck of a Sunday. Here's your schedule....all of the games are obviously on TBS and are EST....

Friday, October 3rd

TBS MLB On Deck (5:30pm)- Ernie Johnson, Cal Ripken, Dennis Eckersley and Curtis Granderson
Chicago White Sox at Tampa Bay Rays (Game #2, 6pm)- Don Orsillo, Harold Reynolds and Marc Fein
Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Game #2, 9:30pm)- Chip Caray, Buck Martinez and Craig Sager
Inside MLB (Postgame)

Saturday, October 4th

TBS MLB On Deck (6pm)- Ernie Johnson, Cal Ripken, Dennis Eckersley and Curtis Granderson
Philadelphia Phillies at Milwaukee Brewers (Game #3, 6:30pm)- Brian Anderson, Joe Simpson, John Smoltz and David Aldridge
Chicago Cubs at Los Angeles Dodgers (Game #3, 10pm)- Dick Stockton, Ron Darling, Tony Gwynn and Tom Verducci
Inside MLB (Postgame)

Sunday, October 5th

Philadelphia Phillies at Milwaukee Brewers (Game #4, If Necessary, 1pm)- Brian Anderson, Joe Simpson, John Smoltz and David Aldridge
Tampa Bay Rays at Chicago White Sox (Game #3, 4pm)- Don Orsillo, Harold Reynolds and Marc Fein
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim at Boston Red Sox (Game #3, 7pm)- Chip Caray, Buck Martinez and Craig Sager
Chicago Cubs at Angeles Dodgers (Game #4, If Necessary, 10:30pm)- Dick Stockton, Ron Darling, Tony Gwynn and Tom Verducci

So Carolina pulled off one of the first great upsets of the NFL Season yesterday at the buzzer with a heck of a pass from Delhomme to TE Dante Rosario. FOX decided to go to the game with about a minute left and Dick Stockton and Brian Baldinger absolutely murdered the call of final few moments of the game.

Well, that's besides the point because the FOX production truck did something so hilarious following the game that I couldn't stop laughing. First here's the call of the final play (I have no idea what Baldinger is laughing at) but make sure you stick around for the UPS Players of the Game at the end of the vid....

Yes, you're seeing and hearing that right. The third player down is actress Rosario Dawson of "Clerks 2", "He Got Game" and "Sin City" fame! That's right, the tight end for your Carolina Panthers was actually an actress in the movie version of "Rent"!!! It's bad enough that Dick Stockton can't get things right on his own, now the FOX graphics department is throwing him curveballs like this? Too funny.

(Many thanks to reader Sean for the tip.)

Funny item from Rumors and Rants this morning. I've heard of certain refs not being good luck for certain teams, but this is the first time of the same being true for an announcer....

But I forgot about the X-Factor. Being a Fox national game of the week -- but not THE game of the week -- it was none other than Dick Stockton in the booth. And after Saturday's loss, the Cubs dropped to 0-3 in games called by Stockton this season. At least if my memory serves me correctly.

According to my charts, that gives the Cubs a six-game losing streak in games announced by Stockton. And that's before confirming the unsubstantiated rumors that he called Game 7 of the 1945 World Series. (Sure, he only would have been 3 at the time, but there was a war on. You never know.)

So as Cub fans try to break down how the team matches up against each prospective playoff opponent, just keep in mind that the biggest name to fear may be the one in the broadcast booth.

If you add to those the three game sweep in the NLDS last year against the Diamondbacks, that makes the team 0 for the last 6 in games Stockton has called. I don't think I've ever heard of that before. What's even more is that the Cubs could very easily draw Dick Stockton again this Playoffs season. I'd be begging for Chip Caray if I were you, Cubbies fans.

If anyone has memory of an "Announcer Jinx" on your team please share it in the comments.

Keep This Dick Away From The Cubs (Rumors and Rants)

The majority of the country is getting a double dose of Red Sox-Angels this weekend, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The bad news is really for those on the East Coast who don't get that game (like me). We're stuck with Stockton and McCarver. Yes!

Oh and a quick reminder. This weekend's Sunday Night Baseball game is starting a little earlier than normal. First pitch is at 6pm. Here's the schedule....

Saturday:

Boston Red Sox at LA Angels- Thom Brennaman, Eric Karros & Ken Rosenthal (Fox, 3:55pm, 71%)

MARKETS INCLUDE: Albuquerque, Austin, Birmingham, Boston, Buffalo, Charlotte, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Dallas, Dayton, Denver, Detroit, Fort Myers, Greensboro, Greenville, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Knoxville, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, New Orleans, New York, Norfolk, Orlando, Pittsburgh, Portland, Providence, Raleigh, Richmond, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, San Antonio, San Francisco, Seattle, Tampa, Washington

San Diego Padres at St. Louis Cardinals- Matt Vasgersian & Mark Grace (FOX, 3:55pm, 18%)

MARKETS INCLUDE: Chicago, Kansas City, Louisville, Memphis, Milwaukee, Nashville, Oklahoma City, Phoenix, San Diego, St. Louis, Tulsa

Philadelphia Phillies at Florida Marlins- Dick Stockton & Tim McCarver (FOX, 3:55pm, 11%)

MARKETS INCLUDE: Atlanta, Baltimore, Miami, Philadelphia, West Palm Beach

Sunday:

New York Yankees at Oakland A's- Chip Caray & Ron Darling (TBS, 1pm)

Boston Red Sox at LA Angels- Jon Miller & Joe Morgan (ESPN, 6pm)

If you didn't stay up and watch Game One between the Cavs and Celtics I don't blame you. I've watched just about every San Antonio Spurs game over the past 8 years, and none of them compared to how boring this game was until the last few minutes (actually even those were boring). Dick Stockton and Mike Fratello called it a "defensive war" multiple times during the contest, but people were just bricking shots. There's no other way to describe Lebron's 12 points (2-18 shooting?!), Pierce's 4 points (2-14 shooting?!) and Ray Allen's 0 points (0-4 shooting).

While the majority of the game was pretty dreadful, somehow it was still able to be won or tied by Cleveland. Kevin Garnett (who everyone says can't finish out games) had just made a ridiculous spinning layup and the ball was left in the hands of Lebron.....

The best part of that clip is that James Posey was trying to foul because the Celts had one to give. Lebron's late game layups just aren't falling for a Cleveland team that should have won that game whether he made just two shots or not. There's not a chance in hell that Pierce and Allen are going 2-18 on Thursday, and hopefully somewhere between now and then both teams will rest up and actually score some in Game Two.

I don't know if the Czar is feeling like the rest of us, or if he's actually calling out his partner in this instance, but he really wants to know if the Bill Engvall Show is actually "very funny".....

Awkward. Do you know why everyone says it's "very funny" on-air Czar? Because they're reading a PRO-MO.

Actually I take that back. While I'm pretty sure that Fratello has no idea that "Very Funny" is TBS' slogan for it's comedies, I'm with him....enough of Bill Engvall. I'd also be going crazy if I had to deal with Dick Stockton calling Al Horford, Tito all night long as well. So I'm sorry Czar....I take it all.

So we're almost to the point of the year when I don't seem to get any sleep. That's what happens when you have West Coast NBA Playoff games ending at 3 in the g'damn morning, but what are you going to do? TNT is the main cause of my insomnia as the try to completely overload us with Basketball by providing a slate of 40 games in 40 nights.

They also get the Western Conference Finals this year which should be fun as long as the Spurs aren't involved (we all know they will be though). Here are your pairings for the opening rounds....

Marv Albert and Reggie Miller
Kevin Harlan and Doug Collins
Dick Stockton and Mike Fratello
Matt Devlin and ____________

Studio Team: Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley, and Magic Johnson
Sideline Reporters: Craig Sager, David Aldridge, Cheryl Miller, Pam Oliver, Marty Snider, Dei Lynam, Stacy Paetz and Stephanie Ready
Other Contributors: John Thompson

All of that looks very similar to last year, but there's one very interesting twist. Reggie Miller isn't calling the Western Conference Finals and will be relegated to the Studio Team as Doug "I Coached Michael Jordan" Collins gets the nod. I have no idea why he's getting benched, or why you wouldn't just put Collins and Albert together in the first place, but I guess it's a good thing he's not on the call.

Actually I take that back. I'd rather have Reggie than Doug "I played in the Olympics and interrupt my lead more than Jay Bilas" Collins (he's got many nicknames). Oh and look for actor Terrance Howard on the commercials this year as well. Anyone but David Blaine is good at this point.

10. “I misread the memo, they played in England today and I came with you to NEW England.”- Kenny Albert (Not funny AT all)

9. “He has the opportunity to tune up for next week’s game with the Redskins.”- Keyshawn on Tom Brady (Kinda nitpicky, but he was so adamant when he said it)

8. “It was in the front, first row.”- Randy Cross (This was after saying a pass landed in the third row)

7. “Roethlisberger comes on the field again.”- Dick Enberg (Coming from a guy named Dick...that's pretty nasty)

6. “He wasn't untouched, but he wasn't touched enough."- Dick Stockton (Via Tim....Too funny)

5. “And that was over in an eyelash.”- Dick Stockton

4. "Feels like a playoff game, a Super Bowl!"- Thom Brennamen (A Playoff game with the Dolphins?)

3. "He's got pictures of somebody there."- Boomer Esiason on Rex Grossman being the Bears’ QB next year (I hope it's more drunken shots of Orton)

2. “Nobody was sure if they’d be playing Football in San Diego today with good reason. Fires continue to burn throughout Southern California.”- Chris Berman (See Chris....that's NOT a good reason)

1. “The shot clock was running down and managed to call a timeout before it ran out.”- Dick Stockton (I give up on you Stockton lovers....I just can't take him anymore)

I have video on the Dick Stockton debacle, but I'm having trouble getting it edited. Dick was basically on fire yesterday. The Shot Clock comment came within the first two minutes of the game, and it was just down hill from there. The funniest part is that Brian Balldinger immediately felt the need to call it a Play Clock and went into a diatribe on how hard it is to see it in Metrodome. It was downright hilarious.

Hopefully I'll get another 10 from the Monday Night Live-Blog, and feel free to add any I missed.

I don't know how many games TBS is covering for the Playoffs, but they seem to be hiring a ton of people for their coverage this October. They already had Cal Ripken (pregame) and Tony Gwynn, Chip Caray, and Joe Simpson (not Jessica's father) on the roster, and now they've rounded out their expansion draft with five more broadcasters.

Don Orsillo (told you about this last week)
Steve Stone
Bob Brenly
Ted Robinson

....and last but not least......

Dick Stockton!

The only pairing that TBS has released is Tony Gwynn and Chip Caray, but I'm telling TBS right now.....make it Stockton and Orsillo, Simpson and Stone, and Robinson and Brenley. I completely botched those pairings......Stockton and Orsillo are PbPers so that wouldn't even work. Since we believe in 2nd chances here at AA let's try that again.....

Caray/Gwynn, Orsillo/Stone, Stockton/Brenly (great team), Robinson/Simpson

P.S.- Skip Caray was more than likely going to be involved with the TBS Playoffs as well, but he was in the hospital for a few weeks with congestive heart failure. He is just now getting back in the Braves booth, and AA wishes all the best to him and his family and hopes for a speedy recovery.

TBS Take A Step In The Right Direction (Awful Announcing)

From the moment that Reggie joined TNT I was skeptical that it could work. He was just another athlete put in an analyst position without anyone checking to see if he could put a sentence together. Well, he can't. Join my guest and I after the jump as we explain why. But before you do so.....enjoy this video of Miller's first day on TNT, I'll see you on the otherside.

That was enjoyable right? That living room was just gorgeous....and that Washington pick turned out to be Mugsey Bogues. Good stuff.

Please join me in welcoming my guest, none other than Bethlehem Shoals from Fanhouse and a site much more clever and intriguing than mine.....Free Darko. Here's how it went down. I get an IM from Bethlehem Shoals in the middle of the Jazz/Warriors game stating that he didn't exactly "like" Reggie Miller. I reply that I concur and that I can't believe he's top 50 in anything. Shoals than makes the perfect analogy for Reggie....

"Miller sounds like a kid playing dress-up"-BS

In a million years I couldn't have come up with a better comparison (I'm jealous in fact). It was perfect...he just sounds as awkward as his jumper looks. There is no real analysis, and Dick Stockton has no idea how to respond or identify with him. And that's when it hit me.....


Reggie Miller is the Joe Theismann of the NBA.

Not even a minute after telling this to Shoals, and getting a chuckle....Reggie proved my point. About the middle of the 4th quarter a Jazz player (Boozer I think) lost control of the ball and it hit off of a GState player's leg (Barnes' I think), and rolled out of bounds. Well, two refs had a mini-conference and gave the ball to Golden State and the Jazz players went nuts. A third ref came running in and the three walked away from the baseline to have a conference. That's when Reggie Theismann'd the whole situation......

"If I were Golden State I'd be upset. Even if it's the right call.....I don't agree with it"- RM

Umm what? I asked Shoals if he heard it and he replied yes. "What does that even mean?", he asked. I didn't have an answer....not even two seconds later.....

"Well I guess it's good that they had the conference and figured out the call."- RM

Huh?!?!?! That immediately gave me an epiphany, so I searched for old live-blogs where Theismann did the exact same thing. Here's just one example.....Week 8: Giants/Cowboys.

"That's definitely a fumble arm never went forward"- JT
(...one minute later)
"His arm was going forward"- JT

It all makes so much sense.....and then Shoals hit me with the Piece de Resistance.....

"He keeps saying stuff like "If you've never watched the warriors before" and then tells us that baron needs to bring the ball up every possession and the warriors aren't going to win without points in the paint."- BS

Basically just saying obvious things over and over again because he has no other way to give factual evidence or analysis of the game. The best part is the statement is a contradiction within itself......Shoals explains, "The Warriors won the last series with a variety of guys bringing the ball up and jacking up three's late in fourth. If he'd seen the Warriors before, he would know that they really could care less about that particular obvious advice."

Guess who that reminded me of? You guessed it! From the same Week 8 live-blog.....

"If you're tall your feet get out from the center of your body"- JT
"Here's a guy that plays well and will play well tonight."- JT
"You don't have many plays in your playbook that will get you 15 yards."- JT
"For the empty palm rule you have to have an empty palm"- JT

It all makes so much sense now.....That's it! Miller is Theismann! Theismann is Miller!

Thanks for helping me come to the realization Shoals, and check out his views on the game last night.

Oh and...F+ for Dick and Reggie these Playoffs. I don't know how you make two 220+ point games boring, but you succeeded.