So how about this for an American debut. 3-3, Double, BB, 3 RBIs oh and this....

"A star is born in the teeth of the Lake Michigan wind."- Brent Musburger

Kerry Wood had tried to blow the game for the Cubs followed in turn by Eric Gagne doing the same for the Brewers. Fun game....well fun from the 9th inning on and Brent Musburger wasn't that bad.

The Cubs also lost the game in the tenth. Ah Baseball....it's good to have you back.

Okay now that the rain has stopped in Chicago we're going to try this again. Brent has already called Tony Gwynn Junior, Tony Gwynn Senior and Orel's hair is losing some of it's hold in the rain.

"I told him I sampled his mother's product. I can always tell the difference when it's Mrs. Braun."- Brent Musburger

Ryan Braun's mom is a brewer for Anheuser-Busch, but if you came in at the right time that could have been really funny. Hey there's the Edgar Renteria I know! A strike out with less than two outs and a runner at third and an amazing play by Alex Gordon to end it. Tigers....0 and 1.

And we're out to Dodger Stadium to hear from Dave O'Brien and Steve Phillips. It's definitely not raining there.

Jeff Kent just jacked a homer off Zito to make it 3-0 Dodgers. Vin Scully is making the impending blowout entertaining. (Via S2N)

I wish I had him because Dave O'Brien puts me to sleep. Utley homers for his first on the year 6-3 Nats. Cubs fans seem to really like this Fukudome guy too.....

If I had one wish today, it would be that Harry Caray could have lived long enough to have to pronounce the name "Kosuke Fukudome". That would have never failed to be hilarious. (Via Mal)

I concur. Zambrano's pitches are moving like crazy today in the cold weather. Good sign for Cubs fans. He's only given up one hit through six and two thirds. Santana is also perfect through two innings.

I heard this gem early in the Tigers/Royals broadcast and had to take note of it to put on here..."He did a nice job there pulling out-- up, pulling up."- Rob Allen of FSN Detroit (Via Chase)

If Erin Andrews is doing a game in So Cal, two words should be required: tube top. (Via Mal)

I was going to say sun dress, but either would suffice. I have yet to see her on the telecast though. Nevermind....here she is....



Wow...the Nats are doing it again in the ninth. Nick Johnson with a double that scored Lastings Milledge from first....barely.

"DeRosa moves in to keep Gwynn close on second base."- Brent Musburger
"Prince Fielder not the fleetest of foot but he scores easily from 2nd base."- Orel Hershiser

These two seriously have no idea who's on base. Gwynn bunted over Weeks to 2nd and Prince Fielder got an intentional walk and is on first. Good to see Kerry Wood in midseason form already as well. 1-0 Brewers in the ninth. Make that 3-0 nothing after a double.

Annnnnd.....It's Eric Gagne's turn to blow the game! Single, 4 pitch walk, and......3 Run FUKUDOME HOMER!!!!!!

Great call by Brent Musburger noticing that ex-Cub Jason Kendall was trying to steal signs behind the plate.

Moving onto Joe and Jon and we find out one of our replacements for Rick Sutcliffe this season.....Joe Morgan. Boooo.

"One thing I know is....the ball hurts."- Joe Morgan

It was announced last week that the Redskins and Giants would be kicking off the NFL season on Thursday, September 4th, but the NFL announced today that the first Sunday Night game of the season will be the Chicago Bears at the Indianapolis Colts.

Why the felt the need to give us a rematch of the 2006 Super Bowl is beyond me, but Indy will be opening up Lucas Oil Stadium that night. I'll be adding the rest of Week One's game in this spot when released.

You just knew that ESPN was going to get the Packers involved so they could continue to talk about the retirement of Brett Favre. Well it's going to come in the first Monday Night Football game of the 2008 season according to the Star Tribune....

The NFL will announce this afternoon that the Vikings will play the Green Bay Packers in the Monday night opener at 6 p.m. Sept. 8 on ESPN, according to an industry source. As has become the custom, it will be the first game of a Monday night doubleheader on the network. The game is expected to be played at Lambeau Field and will be the first for the Packers in the post-Brett Favre era. (Do you think there will be a little talk about Favre that night?)

ESPN is probably going to try their darndest to make sure that Favre shows up, and would probably get amazing ratings if he did. The rest of Week One's schedule should be out later today and I'll try to pass it on when I find it.

Update: The second game of the MNF double header is Denver at Oakland (Booooooo!). No announcers have been named.

Vikings-Packers to open on Monday night (Star Tribune)

Jemele Hill has been in the news of late mainly for jumping on the whole Lebron James racist "Vogue" magazine cover, but that didn't bother me nearly as much as this. The ESPN columnist was filling in for Jim Rome last week and when she wasn't reading poorly off of cue cards, she was mocking Shawne Merriman for having his SUV stolen and burnt....

"There are no reports to back this up, but I'm betting – and by betting I mean hoping – that whoever set that Benz ablaze busted out in that ridiculous sack dance just as the flames were starting to run rampant over the upholstery. Karma is reponsible for this. Merriman got his sled ripped and barbecued because he can't make a play without making a fool of himself, and people just aren't feeling it."

It's a shame that ESPN seems to turn certain writers into such attention getting journalistic jokes. I don't care who you are, the words "hoping", "someone's property" and "getting barbecued" are not words you should use together. It's just a celebration dance not a crime that someone should pay for. Wide Receivers celebrate every damn first down by doing some ridiculous first down signal. Should Chad Johsnon's Lexus be stolen and burnt to a crisp because of it?

If you'd spend less time trying to be controversial and more time writing heartfelt pieces.....people might begin to respect you Jemele. It's a shame because I was beginning to enjoy her work.

Torching of Merriman's car funny? Rome fill-in host seems to think so (Sign On San Diego)

I'll have other stuff going on today, but I'm going to keep a running track of Opening Day videos, quotes and goingons in this spot. It's cold and gray here in the Nation's Capital and it's perfect Baseball weather! Not really, but Opening Day is here anyway.

Here are your ESPN announcers for the day and I hope you get to enjoy some of the action....

Baseball Tonight from Yankee Stadium (ESPN, Noon)- Karl Ravech, John Kruk, Eric Young
Toronto at New York Yankees (ESPN, 1pm)- Dan Shulman, John Kruk
Milwaukee at Chicago Cubs (ESPN2, 2pm)- Brent Musburger, Orel Hershiser
San Francisco at Los Angeles Dodgers (ESPN, 4pm)- Dave O’Brien, Steve Phillips, ERIN ANDREWS
Baseball Tonight (ESPN2, 5pm from Bristol)- Karl Ravech, Eric Young, Buster Olney
Los Angeles Angels at Minnesota (ESPN2, 7pm)- Jon Miller, Joe Morgan
Houston at San Diego (ESPN2, 10pm)- Sean McDonough, Orestes Destrade, Candy Maldonado
Baseball Tonight (ESPN, Midnight from Bristol)- Steve Berthiaume, Eric Young, Buster Olney
__________________________________

"Actually adding Robert Cano up in the lineup not at the bottom is significant."- Eric Young

That would be Robinson, EY. And so it begins. It's raining in NY so it looks like Baseball isn't going to get underway until around 2pm.

And here we go. ESPN is giving us FSN's feed of the KC-DET game while New York is letting the rain die down.

No one (who's not a Tigers fan) should have to suffer through Rod Allen's color commentary. Clear, rain clouds in the Bronx. Clear! (Via RJBO)

The color guy from the Tigers just said, about Cabrera, "he's never played in front of a crowd like this before." Yeah, well, he's probably right; the 2003 World Series wasn't that big of a deal. (Via Anon)

Allen right on cue! Verlander is looking really good btw. Fastball is up in the mid 90s and some of the Royals' hands are going to be hurting in this cold weather. Hey Edgar Renteria can still hit! 1-0 Tigers.

Rod Allen, about Pudge Rodriguez: "He looks in shape... put on a few pounds...looking thick....in a good way"...what???? I skip my class to see the first pitch of the last year in yankee stadium and i get this!? (Via Frigidevil)

Apparently Musberger told Orel about his rule of his color guy being required to slick back his hair. (Via Mal)

Hahahaha. Orel is looking awesome today. Looks like the Cubs game is going to get off soon....it's still raining in New York. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd.....

POSTPONED! That's no fun, but it looks like the Cubs-Brewers get underway at 3pm.

Here we go.....

"Now here is Tony Gwynn Senior. His dad of course the Hall of Famer."- Brent Musburger

And The Burger wastes no time!

"Fielder gave up meat in the off season. Cattlemen everywhere are hoping he'll go into a slump"- Brent Musburger (Via Mal)

Over/Under on Hersheisher strangling Musberger: Bottom 4th after Musberger makes his 9349309349393 retarded comment of the day. (Via Anon)

Under! And another rain delay. Boooooo.

"Roberts showed some veterness there."- Gary Thorne

Good lord.

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

(I'm putting today's CTC up a little early so we can get into Opening Day.)

Last Friday's Winners....


"Meyer: "To get to the other side!""- StalkingErinAndrews

"We were undefeated, playing in the Super Bowl...and that happened."- Sanity Has Gone South

"Urban Meyer explains to Bill Belichick the benefits of monogamy."- G-Money

"How about sex first and then we go shopping?"- Rhino Ear (I have a feeling that one is going to work for awhile. At least it replaced the pearls.)
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Rick Barnes and the Longhorns mascot look on during their game against Memphis?


Daily Links:

Rumor of the Day: Tiki Out At Today Show (PFT)
Someone Is Not Happy With CBS (Gate 21)
A Wrestlemania Review (Ropes, Ring, And Cage)
What If Ken Griffey Jr Never Got Hurt (I'm Writing Sports)
What Were The Odds Of An All Chalk Final Four? (Vegas Watch)
Mike Brown Is Finally Starting To Get This Coaching Thing (Waiting For Next Year)
Flyovers Are Always Cool (Red Sox Monster)
JR Rider Is In Trouble Again (Meaningful Collateral)
Previewing The NL West (Baseball Musings)
Looking Into The All Chalk Bracket (Simon on Sports)

I commented how I really liked the Foo Fighters intro earlier in the Tournament, but these "I Am Legend" ones are starting to bother me. I know your ratings are down CBS and you have to make up money however you can, but you've used the exact same clip for the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight.

How many different ways can Greg Gumbel introduce his partners by calling them "legends"? The answer is two. At least change the movie to "There Will Be Blood" or something for next weekend. You could even show Tyler Hansbrough with the bloody nose! I'm a marketing genius.

I know people refer to all of these things as "Clarkisms", but I just call them stupid. Here are a pair of clips via The Sporting Blog in which Kellogg not only calls Xavier's Drew Lavender "ippodish", but he says Danny Green has "the versatility of baking soda".....

"How versatile is baking soda?"- Greg Gumbel

Actually now that I rethink these two they actually make some sense. Baking soda is versatile as far as household products go and the I-Pod thing perfectly describes Lavender. My bad Clark.

Clark Kellogg Reinvents the English Language Daily (TSB)
All Your Questions About Clark Kellogg Answered (TSB)

Now this is how you open a season and a new ballpark. It had the feeling of yet another blown save after a passed ball in the top of the ninth and that the Nats and Braves were going extra innings. But "Z" made up for Lo Duca's mistake....

"The happy ending for the Nationals!"- Jon Miller

Happy Ending Jon Miller? If you say so. What a great way to start the (as Joe Morgan would call it) the "American" season and hopefully we'll have some more fun tomorrow.

Here's also the first homerun at the Park as called by George W. Bush. Miller seems a bit jealous here....



Zimm’s Walk-Off: Too Good to Be True (Mister Irrelevant)

Hey, why the hell not right? Jon and Joe are entering their 19th year together (can you believe that?) and the over/under on Morgan's first dumb comment is 5 outs. See you around 8pm for the start.

"Steve the radio show was earlier today. We don't need to kill time now. EY you've got four seconds. What was that?"- Karl Ravech

World Series Predictions:

Steve Phillips: Detroit Tigers-NY Mets
Eric Young: Boston Red Sox-Atlanta Braves
John Kruk: Chicago Cubs-Cleveland Indians
Karl Ravech: Chicago Cubs-Detroit Tigers

Oooh Politics and Baseball mixed for the intro. Didn't see that coming.

"Maybe they're setting off the fireworks in honor of us."- Joe Morgan

Oh god....here we go.


Hi guys!

Oh God opera (Via Anon)

Yeah that Anthem was special. Time to see what Dubya's got....he's normally pretty good at these first pitches.

Dubya really god the crap booed out of him. (Via Akiyama)

Yeah that was kind of bad, but at least he brought the heat. Jon Miller just called about 7 games in the Nats lineup sluggers. If says that about Tim Hudson I'll be worried.

"I only recognize tonight. This is the opening of the baseball season here in America."- Joe Morgan

I don't think Joe likes the trip to Tokyo.

"The only reason Kelly Johnson chased this is because he was behind in the count."- Joe Morgan

It was two and two you dumbass.

I love when announcers say what Morgan just said, "You don't want to get a player thrown out at the plate with no outs," -- so does that mean it's okay to get thrown out at the plate any other time? (Via Uncle Wood)

K Zone Sucks, its never right. (Via Anon)
"I believe in K-Zone"- Joe Morgan (Via Anon)

"What you have to do in certain situations, that's called situational hitting."- Joe Morgan

Hahahaha....it never gets old. Hey a run! And it comes off a Nick Johnson RBI!!! Good to have 24 back in the lineup and his craptastic slides.

"It's a little known thing but the fact that Nick Johnson took that extra base on his RBI hit it allows...........................Kearns to drive in a run and move to second himself."- Joe Morgan

I could hear the gears grinding as he frantically flipped through his program to find Austin Kearns. I'm also pretty sure Jon Miller just used the word "clutch" 14 times in a 20 second span.

Good to see Joe is up to speed on his historical landmarks. The Washington Memorial?? (Via Scott)

There is definitely a Geico caveman sitting behind home plate. 5th row, on the aisle, in the red jacket. God Bless America! (Via Anon)

Ugh. And now they're talking about Yankee Stadium. Good times.


"I was thrilled to be here."- George Bush (Via Uncle Wood)

Have you ever seen a time where George W. Bush is the smartest man in the room? There is a first for everything. (Via Steve)

Yeah this is just really awkward. It's like they didn't even try to prepare.

"Thank goodness you didn't put that little strike zone up there you know"- George Bush (Via Anon)

"Chipper looks like he may have the first homerun in this park."- George Bush
"As called by President Bush."- Jon Miller

He sounded a little bitter there.

"You ever think maybe you'd like to go into play by play? Joe's been trying to get rid of me and hire somebody else."- Jon Miller
"They say I got a lot of hot air you know, so maybe I'm well suited for it."- George Bush

"The great thing about Baseball is that you don't have to be a giant to play it...as you know."- George Bush to Joe Morgan

"First thing in the morning we're headed off to the Ukraine." - George Bush
"All right." - Joe Morgan
(Via Anon)

Hahahahahahahaha. Great stuff.

"Congratulations on a great season you promoted here last year"- Joe Morgan to Manny Acta

Is this President First Pitch graphic the only one they have available for tonight?

Does anyone have a tally as to how many times Miller has said "President Bush threw out the first pitch"? I've only watched 3 innings so far and it has to be about a dozen times already. (Via Ames)

It's got to be near thirty.

"It gets stinking hot here in July."- Jon Miller

LoDuca must have been trying to remember that 19-year olds name right there...Nats blow one, and it won't be the last... (Via Uncle Wood)

That was terrible.

Great great run by the Wildcats but it was not meant to be. Let's not worry about how bad this last possession was, but how much fun it was to watch Davidson and Stephen Curry this Tourney.

Yeah I know Gus....we all wanted it to go in too.

(P.S.- I guarantee you'll see that title/headline only about 3,000 times tomorrow.)

Texas vs. Memphis (Houston, 2:20pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer
Kansas vs. Davidson (Detroit, 5:05pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore

Sorry for the delay in getting the post up today, but I'm in for the long haul now. Memphis seems to be well in control of this game and radio play-by-play man Brad Sham seemed none too happy about it. Let me know what I missed.

So apparently Jay Bilas really like Tyler Hansbrough and Dick Enberg said rape at some point. I'm going to have to go back and watch that game again.

I hate this...I had Texas winning it all. (Via SS Reporters)

I had Stanford in the Championship soooooooo. Also, what's with all of the dead air today. Nantz can't seem to come up with anything to talk about.

Nantz: "I think Texas should begin the hacking process." The hacking process for Nantz & Packer starts when they speak. (Via Anon)

"If they were going to go into the hack a Shaq then they would have had to of done it a lot earlier."- Billy Packer

They started with like six minutes left. When would you have like them to start Billy? At the start of the half???

"This is going to be a long three minutes here."- Billy Packer

Tell us about it Billy.

"You don't want to start annoying your own fans."- Billy Packer on Rick Barnes fouling down 16 with 40 seconds left.

Speaking of ESPN, tonight's Sunday Conversation has Rece Davis interviewing Knight, Parcells and LaRussa. Could you all join me in prayer for a well-placed meteor. (Via Mal)

Seriously. I saw the press release last week and didn't even want to bother posting on it. I like how TBL called them "The Grump, The Meanie, and The Drunk".

Okay now the fun starts.....Let's go Cats! And Bill Self is making substitutions two minutes into the game.

"Rush, Rise and Fire."- Gus Johnson

That never gets old.

"The scoreboard has gone blank right now Davidson and Kansas have yet to score a point according to the scoreboard. It's been a slow pace, but not that slow."- Gus Johnson

The under for the first half is a mortal lock. (Via Ed)

Winnah!

"Curry again....RING IT."- Gus Johnson

That drive was ridiculous. The kid has 8 points in a minute.

Did Gus just say, "The white lobster" when that whitey chucked a trey bomb? (Via Brett)

Yeah, it's the kid's nickname for some reason.

"Kansas goes to the zone. Looks like a box and one."- Gus Johnson

See. He doesn't just yell. He's insightful too.

"As Anderson Hunt, Anderson Anderson, Antonio Anderson banks in a three."- Clark Kellogg

Where is Anderson Hunt these days?

*Turns off TV during requisite Hansbrough interview* (Via Anon)

At the beginning of the second half, they put the bracket on screen. Instead of Xavier, it read Xaveir. Nice work CBS. (Via Daniel)

Yep they sure did.....



"White Lobster, because he's from Maine! That's what they call him."- Gus Johnson (Via Anon)

"OH! The White Lobster is cookin'!"- Gus Johnson

Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery; Xavier (3) vs. UCLA (1)- 6:40pm
Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas; Louisville (4) vs. UNC (1)- 9:05pm

Another night that I'm going to absent, but I thank everyone for filling me in on what I miss. I'll be around tomorrow though for a full day of Basketball and maybe some Baseball too.

Cheers!

Warning to all bar owners in the Washington DC area, you're going to have a riot on your hands if you participate in Earth Hour. It's not that I'm against the environment or anything, but this figures to be a bad idea....

At Buffalo Wild Wings on East Beltline Avenue NE, the timing could not be worse: Earth Hour falls right in the middle of tonight's NCAA basketball regionals.

And nothing -- not even an hour to help save the planet -- will stand between 310 beer-drinking basketball fans and 39 TVs.

"I never heard anything about it," restaurant Manager Tony Doud said.

Earth Hour is similar to Earth Day, only 1/24th the duration. At 8 p.m., organizers from the World Wildlife Fund are asking everyone to turn off nonessential lights to call attention to climate change. They hope a symbolic wave of darkness sweeps across the world, time zone by time zone.

More than 30 major cities around the world have signed up. Coca-Cola Co. will turn off its Times Square billboard in New York City. Niagara Falls will go dark. Three hours later, lights will go out on San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge.

That's good Tony Doud of Grand Rapids, Michigan. You keep it that way too! Seriously though, could they (tree huggers natch) have picked a worse time of the year to decide to do this?

Basketball figures to be bad for Earth Hour (M Live)

This is probably my favorite play of the Tournament so far. Just an amazing shot by Stephen Curry and an awesome reaction by Gus Johnson. Oh and I threw in the Karate Kid flip up by Michael Flowers because it was badass.

This kid has gone for 40, 30, and now 33. Just other worldly if you ask me, but if he and Davidson does this to Kansas I will be truly shocked. Either way I'm happy for Curry and hopefully now he can get some better umm...talent?

Also, Lenny....English Major? I approve! Where did that come from???

Stephen Curry, Like Tebow, Makes Ladies Smile (Busted Coverage)

Wisconsin vs. Davidson (Detroit, 7:10pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore
Texas vs. Stanford (Houston, 7:27pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer
Kansas vs. Villanova (Detroit, 9:40pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore
Memphis vs. Michigan State (Houston, 9:57pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer

I'm going to be out of pocket (I love that term for some reason) once again for the Friday games. I'm going to try and head out into the cruel cruel world, but I'm not quite sure how people will respond to me hanging out in my underwear. I'm recording the games and will put up any videos or craziness you point out to me in the comments. Have a great night and enjoy the games!

Mister Irrelevant has found one of the most amazing clips and beer pong tables ever assembled. Wait until the 2:30 mark for the finished product.....

I think the closest I ever came to something like this in College was when I tried to make a "Bottle Cap Coffee Table". I got like 17 caps in and decided to go get drunk. I also managed to procure a giant Ghostbusters sign that was made of wood. But that I stole off the 2nd deck of someones house in Downtown Harrisonburg. I didn't exactly "make it". Bravo WVU....you are teaching your students well.

WVU Students Build One Hell of a Beer Pong Table (Mister Irrelevant)

I'm a huge fan of rowing when the Olympics start, well that and kayaking (those fake rapids are wicked tough to navigate), and ESPNU is going to get us ready for said rowing by airing the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race this weekend...

ESPNU has extended its agreement to exclusively televise the Oxford vs. Cambridge University Boat Race in the United States through 2009. ESPNU will televise the 2008 race live Saturday, March 29, at 12:45 p.m. This will mark the second year in a row the network has televised the event.

As part of the ESPNU Campus Connection initiative, two students from Cambridge, Dave Billings and Spencer Hunsberger, will provide online content capturing the atmosphere and experience leading into the race. Both students are oarsmen in the Cambridge backup (Goldie) boat.

I know ESPN does a great job working with Universities on getting students involved in the telecast, but even if you were a student on the rowing team...don't you think you'd want to do a Syracuse Football game or something (anything other than rowing)?

Now if we could get some Darts and Archery on ESPNU it would be just like the original ESPN. Good times.

(Via ESPN PR)

I'm a huge fan of David Stern, but occasionally the Commish can come across as a little knowitallish and condescending. This clip via Hardwood Paroxysm is a perfect example of this practice as Stern gives a reporter a lesson in Geography.

While both the reporter and Stern both came off as dicks there's one small problem. The flight from Miami to Paris is just over 10 hours. Nowhere in U.S. takes more than 8 hours (Miami to Alaska) and no flight to a city where an NBA team is more than 6 hours and change (Miami to Seattle).

Four hours is a pretty big difference on a non-stop flight.

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Wednesday's Winners....


"John Stockton has not aged well..."- Steve

"BLUE PALASKY LIVES!!!"- Anon

"How about sex and then we go shopping?"- Anon

"I can't, I'm Mormon."- The Dish
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Bill Belichick and Urban Meyer hamming it up in the stands? (Via SI's Caught In The Act)


Daily Links:

Rondo Straight Breakin' Ankles (Celtics Blog)
Another Set Of Blog Rankings (The Sports Dollar)
Attractive Females And The Letter "A" (On 205th)
Someone Needs To Stop This UPS Dude (Meaningful Collateral)
What Is There To Do When Your Bracket Blows Up? (Love of Sports)
The Bucks Have Problems (Wisconsin Sports Bar)
Looking Into Shaq (Empty The Bench)
The Gus Johnson Song (SS Reporters)
Phil Mushnick Needs A Nap (The Sports Hernia)
A Look Into Tennessee's Playbook (Simon On Sports)

Just wanted to briefly touch on this because it's hilarious to me how far off the deep end that Mark Cuban has gone. Cuban took an interesting approach when dealing with Bloggers, banning them entirely from the Mavericks locker room due to space issues. This was obviously a crazy decision based on Cuban usually being on the cutting edge of Pop Culture, but he decided to take a stand.

Well the ban has been lifted (because the NBA ordered him to lift it), and you're invited to come.....all of you. From the Dallas Morning News via Truehoop....

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, who contended the team's locker room was not large enough to accommodate all bloggers, accepted the league's edict but added a caveat. Via e-mail, Cuban said the Mavericks will open their locker room to all credentialed bloggers, regardless of affiliation. Mavericks credentials are issued by the team.

Cuban indicated he believes bloggers should be treated equally, regardless of affiliation.

"Which means we will encourage all bloggers to apply, whether they be someone on blogspot who has been posting for a couple weeks, kids blogging for their middle school Web site or those that work for big companies," wrote Cuban, a blogger himself. "We won't discriminate at all."

He then cautioned that locker room time, which translates to access to players, may be divided.

"We will try to work it out so that all bloggers come in as a group after credentialed media," Cuban wrote. "This will help us manage the crowds should there be quite a few bloggers."

Ah yes. There's never a dull day in the Blogosphere is there? I know a lot of Mainstreamers and Team Execs read this site so I wanted to share a story that might help you understand how to handle bloggers. Be sure to click on the Sporting News story by Eric McErlain below for the template on how to credential bloggers and the one man who did it right......three years ago!!!

Players, execs shouldn't fear bloggers (Sporting News)
NBA tells Dallas Mavericks to allow locker room access to bloggers (Dallas Morning News)
Almost a Victory for Bloggers in Dallas (Truehoop)

So it looks like were a Country divided again folks. During the first window the East gets Davidson-Wisconsin and the West gets Texas-Stanford. The second window gets a little interesting as 60% of the Country gets Villanova-Kansas, but the entire Midwest gets Michigan State-Memphis.

I'm happy with my double shot of Gus in the Sweet Sixteen. It's been a long time coming.

Window #1
Window #2

Charles says something outlandish just about everyday, so you know it has to be extra special for him to make these pages. Well yesterday was just that crazy. Chuck started the day on Dan Le Batard's radio show bashing ESPN and personalities like Mike Lupica, Jemele Hill, and Jay Mariotti and then ended his night by saying he wanted to grab some lady's "popcorn".

790 the Ticket Audio

The fun starts about a quarter of the way through. Here some of the quotes via The Big Lead:

“Seems to me that the white guys don’t know anything about the sports and all the black guys want to talk about race … Jay Mariotti, Skip Bayless, they don’t know anything about sports. Jason [Whitlock] and Jemele Hill, they always talk about race, because they know that’s controversy.”

“If it wasn’t for guys like myself, all these quote, unquote, sports fans would be listening to Skip Bayless, Jay Mariotti, Mike Lupica - the little midget … I like ESPN a lot, but they want to dominate the world.”

“I’m not going to let all these losers, like Bayless and Mariotti and Lupica … they can say what they want to. I’m gonna say what I want to. They’re going to deal with it or they’re going to shut the hell up. I don’t care.”

“ESPN rode all those clowns out there everyday like they’re experts in every sport … first off, they’re not experts in every sport. Trust me - Jay Mariotti, Skip Bayless, and now, Jemele Hill - they’re just people giving their opinion. They’re not the law, and they’re not that important. Get that straight.”

Well that was fun wasn't it? Well later in the night on TNT he went especially off the deep end and we have the rundown via reader IANJ.....

They played a clip of a TrailBlazer falling into a female fan, spilling her popcorn and then taking some from her bag and eating it. Ernie Johnson then asked if Charles would have done the same thing. He basically said he wouldn't have grabbed the popcorn, bur rather her breasts." I would have grabbed the other popcorn".

He called out Rick Mahorn after video played of an altercation when they played and told Mahorn he would have beat his ass.

He mentioned that he "hated" a ref when he played, and if he saw him in the street, he would run over him with his car, and then back up to make sure he got him.

He abused Kenny saying "How long is he gonna milk this pregnancy thing"

Great day all around for the Chuckster. I'm still looking for the popcorn clip but Odenized has the referee clip, which is pretty funny.....



Barkley Sounds Off on “ESPN Clowns” (The Big Lead)
Charles Barkley hates Mike Mathis (Odenized)

Not only did Bill Raftery talk about Joe Alexander's "Onions", but he spent the better part of the night filling the airwaves with innuendo. Including how he likes to spend nights naked.....seriously. I spliced together a few of his highlights from Thursday night for your enjoyment....

"The answer is take it off."- Verne Lundquist
"Late at night I favor that myself."- Bill Raftery

Quote of the tournament if you ask me. I love me some Raft.

Other Raftery Highlights From Last Night:

"He was strokin' with the best of them!" - Bill Raftery (Via JR)
"He used to sleep on a roll-up mattress. I can relate to that."- Bill Raftery (Via Anon)
"Thrust of the fist!"- Bill Raftery
"When in doubt....just stroke it!"- Bill Raftery

The above photo was what came up on the screen after 20 seconds of nothing when Greg Gumbel threw the pregame to commercial, but it wasn't nearly as humorous as what happened when they came back from the commercials....

Whoops. I think you picked the wrong game to switch to there CBS. At least HD is working though.

Xavier vs. West Virginia (Phoenix, 7:10pm)- Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery
North Carolina vs. Washington St. (Charlotte, 7:27pm)- Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas
UCLA vs. Western Kentucky (Phoenix, 9:40pm)- Verne Lundquist and Raftery
Tennessee vs. Louisville (Charlotte, 9:57pm)- Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas

The fun gets underway around 7pm tonight. See you then! Oh and that quarterback is WSU's Drew Bledsoe getting nailed if you were wondering.
____________________________

Real men wear pink....



It almost matches the color of his face doesn't it? Okay so it was for Breast Cancer....I'll stop making fun now. And Digger really needs to stop touching Knight. It's getting kind of creepy.

Oooh the Foo Fighters on the intro....ROCK!

Hahahahaha what is going on with CBS? Dick Enberg and Bilas just had no idea they were on. I'm pretty sure they went to the wrong game there. Too funny....video in a minute or two.

"He's a nooge out there."- Bill Raftery

Anyone know what a nooge is?

"No easy looks tonight, or today excuse me."- Bill Raftery

Either works, but since you're in Phoenix I'd go with evening.

Why is Roy Williams dressed like it's 1978? (Via Fear The Tree)

Good question. He looks like he owns a plantation.

"This David and Goliath matchup."- Dick Enberg

Ummm....Washington State is a 4-seed. Not exactly a "David".

i think UNC's better is better than Washington St.'s better. (Via Iman883)

Yes...yes it is. Looked like Washington State was going to keep it close for a second there.

After Lawson hit the 3 to end the half: "Oh my! A punctuation mark!!!"- Dick Enberg

Really, Dick? Which one? (Via AJB)

I'd go with colon.

Nice stat graphic. 15 seconds into the half CBS shows us that both teams are 0/0 FG for the half. (Via Mal)



"He was strokin' with the best of them!" - Bill Raftery (Via JR)

"Can you get a technical for thinking in Mandarin?"- Bill Raftery

"He used to sleep on a roll-up mattress. I can relate to that."- Bill Raftery (Via Anon)

Too funny.

"He just can't get it up" - Dick Enberg (Via SS Reporters)

"Sean Miller down on the floor. Looked like the Blue Devils of Duke."- Verne Lundquist

That reminds me of this Sports Pickle post

"Everybody hugging their guy."- Bill Raftery

"He's declared that bucket ineligible for the rest of the tournament".- Bill Raftery (Via Mal)

"A 3 seed Xavier trying to get to the sweet 16."- Verne Lundquist (Via Mal)

"Appropriately for a guy who grew up in Asia, that one went around the world."- Verne Lundquist

"Thrust of the fist!"- Bill Raftery

Nasty Bill....just nasty.

"The answer is take it off."- Verne Lundquist
"Late at night I favor that myself."- Bill Raftery

Ummmm.

Did Raftery just say that Joe Alexander has "Big Onions"??? (Via Swanny11)

Yes....I believe he did. These two are the best. I don't know how I can hate Verne so much in Football, but love him so much in BBall.

"He becomes the second muskateer to foul out. One more and they could write a novel. I'm sorry, it was right there it was an airball, I had to swat it."- Verne Lundquist

"Great use of the bounce....to ECSTASY!"- Bill Raftery

Bill is horny tonight.

"There is Love lurking."- Verne Lundquist
"That's every man's dream. To have love lurking."- Bill Raftery
"I'm working with a man without shame."- Verne Lundquist
"Hey join the club....it's painful."- Bill Raftery

"When in doubt....just stroke it!"- Bill Raftery

I was going to post this saying that this Anonymous guy is my new favorite announcer, but after a little sleuth work (I read the YouTube comments) I found out that it's musician John Mayer. He is in Japan for some reason, and this is the best call of an at-bat I've heard in quite awhile.....

"And that happened" is now my new favorite catchphrase. I will use it until it's no longer funny.

The Worst MLB Announcer is John Mayer Funny Video (NESW Sports)

The ever shy Anna Benson sat down with the Philly Weekly to talk about how things are going with her new team (well her husband, but you get the idea). The interview was pretty straight forward until they asked her about what she's going to do with her life.....

She’s working on recording an album, and is also considering writing books—“maybe just short Jenny McCarthy-type books.” She’s interested in journalism and television too. Modeling, it seems, has taken a back seat.

“I’m not saying I’m not ever going to do another [photo] shoot, but it’s not what I care to do right now. I’m more interested in sports announcing or television.”

It’s not clear which of these aspirations is most likely to pan out. Or if Anna is actually serious about any of them.

After seeing this ESPN immediately signed the attention whore to a seven figure deal*

The many sides of baseball wife Anna Benson (Philly Weekly via TBL)

(*- Didn't actually happen but it wouldn't surprise me if it did)

Earlier this month NFL Films had to "let go" of a few employees in a move which was called "a leaguewide belt-tightening". Well now people in the know are saying that the costs might finally outweigh the benefits. This seems to be due in large part to HBO dropping of Inside The NFL and NFL Films might be next. Via Philly Daily News....

It also has pointed to HBO's recent decision to end its long-running show, "Inside the NFL," which relied heavily on NFL Filmsproduced work.

"We're in a time in America financially that's quite unique," New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft, the chairman of the league's broadcast committee, told the Daily News. "Everyone's trying to run their business soundly.

"I think what you're going to see in America in the next 6 to 9 months is, every company is going to look at redundancy. Whether it's newspapers or brokerage firms or insurance companies or retailers or professional sports leagues. We're in a period in our economy where people who want to be strong 10-15 years from now have to do that. If they don't, they won't be around."

Kraft and the league's other owners will discuss the Films layoffs, as well as the struggles of the 4-year-old NFL Network, next week at their annual March meeting in Palm Beach, Fla.

There's nothing better than putting in the Super Bowl XXII Highlight tape from NFL Films and watching the greatest quarter ever played. Hell I think the only reason I still have a VCR is to watch old Super Bowls. I've bought ever tape/DVD since the Redskins won in 1988.

If you're deciding between NFL Films and the NFL Network feel free to drop the pointless channel before one of the NFL's greatest institutions.

NFL Films is taking shots (Philadelphia Daily News)

I love how Larry Eustachy got slammed for doing similar things in the past, but the loveable Bruce Pearl can do whatever he wants. Well Bruce has never been photographed actually kissing College students, so that might explain it. Anyway here's the newest evidence that Bruce Pearl is in fact a pimp.

Via With Leather and Dirty....




Bruce Pearl High School Yearbook (Dirty)
Bruce Pearl Is A Little Handsy (With Leather)

It looks like that the majority of America is getting the UNC-Washington State and Louisville-Tenn matchups tonight, but all of the West Coast will be seeing UCLA. Here are the links to the maps....

Window #1
Window #2

There will also be another Open Thread tonight if you feel like stopping by.

You can't really blame them for picking out the most attractive people in the stadium (men or women) to be aired, but when certain people start talking "upskirt" shots of the crowd....you're gonna have a lawsuit on your hands....

DETROIT -- Tigers photographers routinely shot inappropriate "soft core videos" of female fans at baseball games, a sexual harassment suit by Comerica Park's former scoreboard operator claims.

The videos were "freely and openly shown in the scoreboard area to all employees and supervisors on almost a regular basis," and are stored in a room behind the scoreboard, Reanen Maxwell of Beverly Hills says in her Wayne Circuit Court lawsuit, which was filed Feb. 22.

The man, who up until last year was in charge of the scoreboard and selecting and recording crowd shots, Scott Fearncombe, said Wednesday any such reports "were never brought to my attention, and I don't know of any secret stash of videos."

Up-skirt shots would have been technically difficult from the dugout-level cameras, he said, "because of the way people are sitting and the angle of the cameras."

Riiiiiiiight. Angle of the cameras. With the popularity of people like Jenn Sterger you could probably start your own website with the images. Illegal as hell but a great idea.

Shock: MLB Ballpark Video Crews Are Perverts? (Sports by Brooks)
Comerica scoreboard operator files sexual harassment suit (Detroit News)

We already knew Chip Caray was our guy for TBS' new Sunday Baseball games, but he needed an analyst or two. Well those two guys are Ron Darling and Buck Martinez...

TBS announced today its telecast team for its inaugural 26 “Sunday MLB on TBS” afternoon Game of the Week. Former Major League pitcher and Emmy® award-winner Ron Darling will be paired with Chip Caray during the regular season and will also serve as an analyst during TBS’ exclusive League Division Series (LDS) and American League Championship Series (ALCS) coverage.

Caray will also be paired separately with analyst Buck Martinez for TBS Sunday afternoon telecasts. Martinez will also serve as an analyst during TBS’ LDS coverage.

So the two will take turns teaming up with Caray and the season gets underway April 6th with the Sox and Blue Jays. Here's the schedule....

Sunday, April 6 (1:00 p.m.)- Boston Red Sox @ Toronto Blue Jays
Announcers: Chip Caray, Buck Martinez and Craig Sager

Sunday, April 13 (1:30 p.m.)- Chicago Cubs @ Philadelphia Phillies
Announcers: Caray and Martinez

Sunday, April 20 (1:30 p.m.)- LA Dodgers @ Atlanta Braves
Announcers: Caray and Ron Darling

Sunday, April 27 (1:00 p.m.)- NY Yankees @ Cleveland Indians
Announcers: Caray and Martinez

I really thought that the clip that I posted earlier today was by far the most confused and lost I've ever seen an announcer. I was wrong. Who would have guessed that the same announcer, in the same exact game, would best himself. Ladies and gentleman.....Gary Thorne via SbB....

“Pretty good international team.”- Gary Thorne

Okay Gary....getting confused by players who have never played in a Yankee uniform is one thing, but completely misunderstanding the spirit of the Civil Rights Game is an entirely different issue. See when Steve Phillips brings up players like Curtis Granderson and Jacque Jones being on the Tigers they're not exactly foreign. They're African-American and they were both born in this Country. Both Curtis and Jacque are from America (Chicago and San Diego respectively)......THUS the f'ing reason that Steve Phillips brought the team up in the FIRST DAMN PLACE!!!!!!

I hate to be this blunt, but someone who is this clueless should NOT be broadcasting to millions of people (I also hate to be this blunt....but I actually feel sorry for Steve Phillips for once).

Thorne Won’t Be Guarding Borders Anytime Soon (Sports By Brooks)
Gary Thorne Is Completely Clueless (Awful Announcing)

Update: Okay, for all of you people that think that Steve Phillips is the one to blame for this transgression you need to watch again.

Tiger Woods appeared on ESPN's First Take today and did an interview with Dana Jacobson on a number of topics. Some of those topics included Doral, The Masters, March Madness, and reporters taking pictures. Jacobson wanted to get his side of the story in regards to the "break their f**king neck" line the LA Times said that he dropped on the crowd, but she didn't stop there....

I understand ESPN wanting to get an answer from Tiger about this but do you think they could have got someone other than Dana "F**k Jesus" Jacobson? When she said, ""What do you say to those who question … the level of anger and your choice of words?", I wanted to break her f**king neck. I can't imagine how Tiger felt. Hello pot...meet kettle.

I'm sure he'll be back on First Take very soon.

I know it's kind of played out to make fun of Women's Sports but it's just so damn funny at times. This is a clip from the sketch comedy show West Palm Wrestling on MTV from last night (I was waiting for Human Giant to come on....I swear!) and it's a look into the new video game sensation that's sweeping the Nation!!!

Very Jordan vs. Bird like, but I like it!

Damn Republicans......always messing stuff up (I kid, I kid). Apparently John McCain was to be accepting the Republican Party's nomination the same day and time that NBC was kicking off next year's NFL Season. Well according to Reuters that's no longer the case.....

The National Football League and NBC will likely move up the time of the league's September season opener so it won't conflict with presidential nominee John McCain's acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention.

Since 2002, the NFL has held its season opener on the first Thursday night after Labor Day. This year, the game runs smack into the final night of the convention, when McCain will officially accept the nomination and give a nationally televised speech from Minneapolis.

So, the NFL and NBC have agreed in principle to have the kickoff at 7 p.m. ET instead of the traditional 8:30 p.m. That would mean, except in the event of an overtime, that the game would end before NBC's expected one hour of convention coverage for the night.

The move comes with several risks, including a loss of audience since the game would start so early on the West Coast. Also, it could impact any pregame special or entertainment that the NFL or NBC could schedule. It would, though, give NBC News a strong lead-in to its convention coverage.

I've maintained for years that they should start games at 7pm regardless of what's going on out West, and hopefully something will get in the way of the NBA Playoffs this summmer because games ending at 2 AM are just ridiculous. Anyone know if the Democratic Convention is in Oakland this year?

NFL season opener yields to McCain speech (Reuters)

Pete Gillen is a regular contributor to the NY Post's Tournament Section come March Madness. The former coach and CSTV Analyst (now College Sports Network) was previewing the Sweet Sixteen when he decided to throw this in for the heck of it.....

WELL, even though Georgetown is gone, three of my Final Four teams are alive - which is unusual. I've had a bad decade - I got fired, no friends, no money, no clothes. But since I'm due, I'll take a look at the Sweet 16:

I agree with the Realests when they say, "Self-deprecating humor is great when you're Conan O'Brien, but it's different when you're Pete Gillen." Seriously. Step back from the ledge Mr. Gillen. You can take solace in the fact that Dave Leitao isn't doing that much better at UVA since you left.

Pete Gillen Hates His Life (The Realests)
The View Sure Is Sweet (NY Post)

Oh man, you're not going to believe this one. The collection of ESPY Award Hosts is an amazing group of the most random people you will ever come across. Let's check out them out again just for the hell of it: Lebron James, Jimmy Kimmel, Lance Armstrong, Matthew Perry, Jamie Foxx, Samuel L. Jackson, Jimmy Smits, Norm Macdonald, Jeff Foxworthy, Tony Danza, John Goodman, and Dennis Miller.

Who could they possibly bring on that was even more random than all twelve of the former hosts? This guy.....

NEW YORK - Justin Timberlake is hosting an awards show — and it's not the Grammys.

ESPN has lined up the 27-year-old singer-actor to host its annual ESPY Awards show this summer, celebrating some of the best and funniest moments in sports over the past year.

The ceremony, to be held at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles on July 20, will be televised live on ESPN, the network said Wednesday.

Timberlake says he's a sports junkie.

"I'll do my best to deliver a great show, as I do not want to be roughed up backstage by these athletes who are bigger, faster and stronger than me," he said.

Timberlake will be in the summertime movie, "The Love Guru," with Mike Myers and Jessica Alba. He recently showed a different kind of stage presence when he inducted Madonna into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

I don't really hate the guy, so I guess they could have done worse, but Justin Timberlake??? Just another step in the direction of MTV. Can we get Stu Scott hosting a daily countdown of the days best music videos set to Sports clips? It's the next logical step.

Justin Timberlake to host the ESPYs (Yahoo News)

Everyone get your acting resumes ready. If you are a 50 year old gentleman with ghost white hair and beard and wear some of the most ridiculous outfits ever, has CBC got the role for you!

There will be some loud jackets to fill when the CBC starts casting its latest made-for-TV movie: the Don Cherry story.

"We're trying to find out if Brad Pitt can play the leading role," jokes the movie's protagonist. "Maybe George Clooney could play me in the later years."

Pitt would actually be more appropriate since the two-part movie, written by Cherry's son Tim, deals mostly with the Coach's Corner star's early life in hockey's minor leagues. In fact, it will end when Cherry meets Ron MacLean, 24 years ago.

The movie is still in the development stages, with the younger Cherry's script being massaged by award-winning writer Paul Quarrington. Once CBC gives it the green light, shooting is expected to start this summer with next spring's Stanley Cup playoffs the target launch date.

I'm not exactly sure how you massage a script, and if it's similar to massaging a prostate, but only good things can come of this.

Cherry movie in the works (TheStar.com)

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....


"Psst, how do you say "I'm f**king Ben Affleck!" in Japanese?"- Tom

"He said "put up your dukes", and I was like "I got f*ckin' no dukes"."- G-Money

"INVISIBLE COMICALLY OVERSIZED SUNGLASSES"- Collin

"I get to start all our games against the Orioles?! YESSS!!"- Chase

"Don't get eliminated!"- Anon
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of a Jazz fan getting the opportunity to dance with a cheerleader? (Background- That's actually a Jazz Fan who got the opportunity to dance with the NuSkin Jazz Dancers because he quit smoking. I'm not kidding.)


Daily Links:

Help Support The "Get Manny A New Helmet" Foundation (Blue Monkey Disco Party)
Is Ced Benson Done In Chicago? (Rumors and Rants)
A Wrestlemania Preview You For You WWE Fans (Clutch Is Everything)
Facebook Stalking G-Town's Jonathan Wallace (Half Court Heave)
A Stray Bullet Takes Down Golf Chef (100% IR)
What Happened To The SI Swimsuit Issue? (Food Court Lunch)
Look Out Tempe, Shaq's On The Beat (AZ Sports Hub)
The N.L. East Awesome Show, Great Job (Cake Rocks The Party)
A-Rod Just Needs To Stop Talking (I'm Writing Sports)