Shrutebag Responds To Bill Simmons

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

In a way only a douchebag could, Cowherd responded to Simmons' column with a bunch of nonsense and approximately zero facts. Here's the rundown...I was typing as fast as I could, so some of these are paraphrased....

"I’m being attacked and I need help from the Herd"

“Vengeful Missile attack at me, just terrible.”

Reads Bill’s quote.....

“Reaaaaly Bill Simmons. I lazily skim other people’s work. Because you have two factual show is 4 not 3 hours, and I have 3 breaks per hour not 4."

"I find it mildly ironic that Simmons thinks I’m lazy, but doesn’t take the time to check his facts. He didn't take the 8 seconds to go to the website and see that the show is 4 hours."

"You didn’t listen to the segment Bill"

"We didn’t mock Bill Simmons, we said he’s smart and he gave the trades a great deal of thought. We just said when you take the best trade scenarios, they are just absurd."

"This horrible hurtful attack sent me back this morning, and I would hold off on saying I’m embarrassed when every column you write is about the Celtics."

"We never mocked him we mocked the idea of trading Kobe."

"Bill to you, no offense....we still like you. But Celtic one cares.

"How would you like to wake up in the morning and have a blog attack you."

"Olbermann is after me, Bill Simmons is after me..."

"There’s a kinship with Bill Simmons much like Al-Jazeera and the NHL. He went out on his own, and tries to be different like us."
So there you have's just plain laughable at this point. He doesn't back up his claims at all....takes cheap shots about the Celtics stuffs (which I'm not innocent of)....and is smug and a dick about the whole thing.

(Just a quick aside here....Hey did that Missing Link thing work out for you? Okay, just checking.)

RUTS says.... "Simmons isn't perfect, but he knows the NBA. Cowherd's just going to embarrass himself again, similar to when he was cracking jokes on Keith Olbermann. Maybe he's operating under the "any publicity is good publicity" model, but when all you ever get is bad publicity..."

Yep, that about sums it up. He's getting exactly what he wants by attacking The Big Lead, Simmons, and the like. Oh, and if you're interested the ass is going to be on Outside the Lines later today for a segment about the brashness and fair-reporting in the media. That should be airs at 3:30 I believe.

UPDATE: Just remembered this. Colin's magically "4th hour" of the program is actually hour number one that is aired from 9-10am on a handful of ESPN stations. It's not even a real hour of the show and the only large market that airs it is L.A.

Bill Simmons Is Pissed at Shrutebag and a Cleveland Writer I've Never Heard Of (Awful Announcing)


I thought the 4th hour was only aired in and around Seattle.

Chopper Dave said...
Jun 5, 2007, 11:31:00 AM  

I heard it, too. The guy just doesn't know when to let go, does he? BTW, he's gonna be on OTL today; 3 or 3:30 EDT, I think.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 11:31:00 AM  

shrutebag forgot one more thing. The entire sports blogging community is after him!

TJX said...
Jun 5, 2007, 11:34:00 AM  

mookie- that's ok with him; he thinks we're all mouth-breathing window lickers anyway.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 11:36:00 AM  

How would you like to wake up in the morning and have a blog attack you?

You tell us, dicktard.

Ray said...
Jun 5, 2007, 11:44:00 AM  

Oops, might want to open that in a new window.

Ray said...
Jun 5, 2007, 11:44:00 AM  

much as i hate cowturd, he had a good comeback:

simmons blasted cowturd for being wrong when simmons was wrong with his slam. whoops.

i dunno, the allure of simmons is lost on me. i think he's a three-note lounge act in a roadside ramada. he "writes," if that's what you call it, about three subjects: nba, gambling and boston sports.

and i actually don't think he writes. i think he rambles into a digital recorder and has a voice recognition software translate his ramblings into text. his "writing" is little more than an ADD teenager on a mountain dew buzz running off at the mouth.

richard deitsch of sports illustrated had the best slam of simmons i have read, far better than cowturd.

simmons is one of the main reasons i quit going to years ago. he's shrutebag with a keyboard if you ask me. maybe worse.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 11:46:00 AM  

Bill Simmons is faulty in many ways, but you cannot dick around with him on the NBA, because that's the one sport he spends serious time on, and if it's an argument between him and Cowherd, I will presume Simmons is the one with the facts until proven otherwise.

Signal to Noise said...
Jun 5, 2007, 12:37:00 PM  

I have to admit, I was a big fan of Colon's when he was here in Portland. His show was much different, he wasn't so much of a know-it-all. I heard him today knocking Simmons. I like Simmons' writing, but sometimes he spends too much time on the celtics.

But Colon went over the line today, and I think he owes simmons an apology. Of course that will never happen, but colon was way outta line today.

Why do you guys call him "shrutebag?"

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 1:03:00 PM  

hey schrute bag, u suck. that is all.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 1:04:00 PM  

ross- AA and others can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it goes back to the day he managed to get The Big Lead shut down.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 1:15:00 PM  

STN is exactly right - Simmons does some obnoxious things but bottom line is that he knows his sh*t when it comes to the NBA.

The thing is, if you're going to be smug, then be smugly prepared. And just because you mess up, which Cowherd did here, doesn't mean that you can't just say, he's right, I'm wrong, I apologize.

Anyway, Cowherd's retort was a joke though, because all he did was bring up a pile of meaningless semantics about break numbers and length of show that Simmons flipped around--that's a typo, not "failing to do research."

Bstone said...
Jun 5, 2007, 1:17:00 PM  

We all know Simmons spends too much time on the Celtics and Red Sox, but whatever, it's always been that way and I wouldn't expect it to change. I generally just skip those columns, as I don't care.

But like S2N said, you simply cannot fuck with his NBA knowledge. When he says he could do a better job than 75% of the GM's, he's right. I'd take him for Philly in a heartbeat.

(Seriously, someone please help the Sixers.)

Cowherd is all about baseless arrogance and trying to latch onto bigger names for increased visibility. Unfortunately for him (and ESPN Radio), he's a know-nothing douche with a bad radio show.

Scrappled said...
Jun 5, 2007, 1:40:00 PM  

I listen to Cowherd on occasion, and he is an arrogant jerkoff. His 4th hour shouldn't count because he repeats the same things in the next hour anyway. He rarely has anything to say, so he keeps repeating the same ridiculous crap over and over. One of his 15 minute rants can basically be boiled down to about 4 or 5 sentences. He is a perfect example of why two hosts are better than one. When he has guests on, he is infinitely better. He doesn't stand much of a chance in a war of words with Simmons. Simmons actually backs up some of his ideas with facts, which is something Cowherd really can't be bothered with.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 2:38:00 PM  

another example of how terrible cowherd is , specifically as to the nba. this morning, cowherd was ripping durant for failing to bench 185 pounds, and saying that he’ll get pushed around in the league. immediately thereafter, he had jay bilas on to discuss oden v. durant. bilas basically told cowherd he was wrong re durant, and asked cowherd who he would compare durant to in the league. cowherd responds: “andrew mcdyess.” bilas: “I’ve never heard of any player named andrew mcdyess, I assume you’re referring to antonio mcdyess.” bilas went on to correct cowherd and let him know that durant compares more to garnet et al. anyway, cowherd obviously knows nothing about basketball. no one with any knowledge would compare durant to mcdyess. their games are completely different, whether you’re referring to old or new mcdyess.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 3:38:00 PM  

Seriously, is there anything we the blogging community can do to get this ass off the air??? Or at least suspended or something. I've completely given up on his shit show and now listen to Rome over my lunch break who is infinitely better and doesn't talk down to his callers and listeners.

Simmons fucking rules and I hate say that even though I hate everything about Boston.

GMoney said...
Jun 5, 2007, 4:00:00 PM  

no because that would require espn regarding the existence of an underground whcih they refuse to do.

but im completely with g-money on this, perhaps it is a teenager thing but i like simmons.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 4:39:00 PM  

It's actually sad how far Colin had to reach to make fun of Simmons. 4 hours instead of 3? What a clown

Marco said...
Jun 5, 2007, 5:12:00 PM  

Rome on one show, and Cowherd on another, that's a bifecta (if that's a word) from hell.

TJX said...
Jun 5, 2007, 7:32:00 PM  

Thanks for biting the bullet and listening to the show... Cowherd is a joke at this point.

twins15 said...
Jun 5, 2007, 8:06:00 PM  

he's right, nobody cares about the celtics.

Anonymous said...
Jun 5, 2007, 8:57:00 PM  

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