I missed this yesterday, but it is absolutely hilarious. Dan Marino obviously doesn't know how to turn off his cellphone when on live television.....

Ha, Boomer actually looks pissed. I can understand once, but letting it right three times? Come on Daniel.

(Many thanks to MM for the better quality video)

Think again.....

CBS will air the Pro Bowl for the first time in 35 years this Saturday, and it will be a grand ole' time!

Your Announcers....

The Booth: Three man team....Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf, and Phil Simms
The Sideline: One man...one mouth.....Shannon Sharpe

NOOOOOOOOOOO! On SBL they asked me what my ideal team to call the Super Bowl would be.....well this would be the opposite. I couldn't pick a worse team if my life depended on it.

Shannon Sharpe on the sidelines should be fun right? Him interviewing Belichick at halftime would be awesome.

Sharpe: Flabbity Flab Flab Flab Flabbiddy Flab
Belichick: (silence)
Sharpe: Flab.........Flabbers........Flab Flab Flab
Belichick: I think both teams played hard.
Sharpe: Flab....thaflabnks coach.....flabbers

So we're on to the grading today, and after that two-hour debacle of a quotes post I'm going to mail this one in a bit. I "blew my load" a tad so we're going to the.....Lighting Round!

James Brown:

The quintessential host. He does everything right, but he has the tendency to use the same words over and over again. Try this for one broadcast. Drink every time he says the word "indeed"....I counted them one time and I got to 26. I was hammered by that point, so it could have been more. Love JB though....he's the perfect ringleader. He takes the fat jokes in stride and just has fun...plus he's got jesus on his side.

Grade: A-



Dan Marino:

He's apparently psychotic, but I would be too if I took the "he never won a Super Bowl" jokes for 6 hours a day for an entire season. He strikes me as a bit too serious though, which gets to be kind of annoying after awhile. At least Boomer can put on a Belichick costume and get a laugh.

Grade: C+



Boomer Esiason:

I like Boomer.....don't know what it is about him though. He gets a little too demonstrative at times, but I think that's only because a little Marino is rubbing off on him (eww...you have a dirty mind).

Grade: B+



F'ing Shannon Sharpe:

I hate him so much. He's not funny and he overacts like a champ (that "I'm going to the Super Bowl" crap was just too much). He is one of the culprits perpetuating the stupid laugh fests that have plagued the pregame shows as of late. He laughs at his own jokes, and you can't understand what he says. When he does the highlights he is about four games behind.

Grade: "You fucking passed the test, but barely. You know what you got? F+. *click*"

Your 2007 Highlights and Lowlights.....well mostly Lowlights......

Week 1:

• "I fully expect Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman to get off to a good start this week. Grossman has been criticized by those in the media who would like to create a quarterback controversy in Chicago, but his talent – and the talent around him – will be enough to prevent that from happening."- Phil Simms
• Shannon Sharpe: When you left you were a 42 Long. Now what are you, 48 Regular? James Brown: At least it’s all natural.
• "I've got to believe that Seattle is going to go back to the Super Bowl. Look at their schedule. They've got the coach, the quarterback, the running back, and they added Julian Peterson. That team looks like they're set to get back to Miami."- Boomer Esiason
• "I was on a round table discussion with Jerry Jones and he said the one thing that led to the T.O. demise in San Francisco and Philly was money. He gave him $10 million the first year and $25 million over the three years. T.O. got what he wanted. It was the money. I don’t think T.O. is going to have a problem. They will get along the entire season."- Shannon Sharpe
  
• "Deion Branch doesn’t want advice. He wants the cheese."- Shannon Sharpe
• SUPER BOWL XLI PICKS: BOOMER ESIASON: New England vs. Seattle, SHANNON SHARPE: Denver vs. Carolina, DAN MARINO: Pittsburgh vs. Carolina

Week 2:

• "Jake “The Mistake” is a terrible name to give to any quarterback. Now let’s see, Jake Plummer last year leads the Broncos to the A.F.C. Championship game. They go 13-3. “Jake the Mistake” throws only seven interceptions the whole year, 18 touchdowns. If any other quarterback in the NFL did that last year, he would not be talked about in this way."- Phil Simms
• "I think that Denver Broncos fans want to see more out of their quarterback position. They want to see John Elway. They want to see a guy throwing the ball down the field and not throwing interceptions in the big games. I know he has a rookie behind him so I don’t expect him to be benched."- Boomer Esiason
• James Brown: How long before Tony Romo takes over? Marino: Until they’re out of the playoffs or unless Drew Bledsoe falls on his face, you go with a guy with the best chance to win and that’s Drew Bledsoe. When you think about him, last year every time he lost game he came back, won and had a good game. Get off Drew Bledsoe.
• "Peyton Manning is definitely going to miss Edgerrin James."- Rich Gannon

Week 3:

• James Brown: Dan and Shannon picked Carolina to go to the Super Bowl. Are the Panthers overrated, Boomer?

  Boomer Esiason: I think Dan and Shannon are overrated. I picked Seattle because I know what I'm talking about. Carolina was the chalk pick because everybody goes back to the way that they finished last year and that's the wrong thing to do.

• "Back then, personally, I would have taken Eli Manning. Today, I would take Eli Manning."- Charlie Casserly (and you wonder why you don't have a job?)

Week 4:

• "We know for sure that there is one gunslinger. And with the way Chad Pennington has started on the other side by throwing the ball all over the stadium, my initial reaction is that, yes we’re looking at two gunslinging quarterbacks in this game"- Dan Dierdorf
• "I had a chance to talk to my son last night, and he wants to thank everybody for the cards, the phone calls, the flowers. All those feelings really help a guy in his situation. They’re helping him recover. He did come home from the hospital yesterday, so he's happy about that. He's sitting on the couch today watching the pre-game show. I don't know how happy that's going to make him, but he's looking forward to getting well."- Phil Simms
• "I am amazed at the tremendous fascination there is with covering Terrell Owens' every move. He's obviously a marvelously gifted athlete who just as obviously has some issues. We might never know what really happened there in Dallas but I do hope that T.O. gets whatever help he needs. And I also hope we won't allow ourselves to be held hostage to a story that was raised to the level of a national crisis."- JB

Week 5:

• Simms: Well first off, maybe Brett Favre should quit listening to the radio. I'll just say this, I think he's playing well so far this year. And, I believe he will break Dan Marino’s record. Dan Marino: And I can't believe Brett Favre doesn't have anything better to do in his life than to listen to Phil Simms on the radio.
• "Little T Learns to Share” on what his next book should be - How about, “Little T Learns How to Con Billionaire NFL Owners.”…I can’t wait for the book tour…It is amazing to me the world we live in."- Bommer Esiason

Week 6:

• "The Oakland Raiders, the Tennessee Titans or the Detroit Lions, all in the same bunch. All three needed quarterbacks. I know Tennessee took Vince Young, but I do think Matt Leinart is going to end up being a better professional."- Boomer Esiason
• "The Bears are one of the few teams I’ve seen in quite a few years that can have breaks go against them, be emotionally out of it, play not even close to an “A” game, and they’re still going to win. For a team to beat the Bears this year, it will have to play its best and get a few breaks along the way."- Phil Simms
• "If the Bears are the class of the NFC, that begs the question as to who is the second-best choice. This is where things get more difficult. St. Louis might be my surprising second choice. The Rams offense has been excellent with Marc Bulger, Torry Holt, Kevin Curtis and Steven Jackson."- Shannon Sharpe

Week 7:

• "The Falcons do some unique things with Michael Vick at quarterback, and it’s no surprise that they capitalize on his strength as a runner"- Phil Simms
• "The guy that is developing into ‘fun television’ is JP Losman. The guy has a little Fran Tarkenton in him. He runs around back there and is quick on his feet. He’s not Michael Vick. Vick looks to run downfield. Losman looks to run around to buy time to throw. He is as elusive and as quick a guy running around at the quarterback position that I’ve seen in a long time."- Dan Dierdorf

Week 8:

• "I don’t care what you think of Michael Vick – whether you think he’s being mistreated or misused, or just think he’s not that good, whatever. He can play for my team any day"- Phil Simms
• "When I look at tricks, I look at Michael Vick."- Dan Marino
• "I asked Ben if he had any reservations about taking a hit in this game, his response was, ‘After being hit by a car this summer, it’s all relative.’"- Rich Gannon

Week 9:

• "I agree with Rich in the sense of Eli Manning because he has the perfect personality for the New York Giants team"- Dan Marino
• "There is still an awful lot of talk in New York, Chad Pennington hooking up with Chris Baker"- James Brown
• They should have fined him $5,000 for that dance and $10,000 for that mohawk he had going on for the first six weeks of the season. You can't dance any more until you get two touchdowns and win a game.- Shannon Sharpe

Week 10:

ON CHANGING SUPER BOWL PICKS FROM BEGINNING OF YEAR

Dan Marino (Carolina-Pittsburgh): Carolina still has a chance because in the NFC there are a lot of teams that are 4-4. If you let me change (AFC pick), maybe I’ll take Indy.

Shannon Sharpe (Carolina-Denver): I’m not changing. I still like the Broncos because in the last two weeks Jake Plummer has done a better job of taking care of the football and they are still formidable…Carolina is still in the thick of things…I’m sticking with Carolina and I’m definitely staying with the Broncos Nation.

Boomer Esiason (Seattle-New England): I’m going to ride Tom Brady all the way down to Miami. I am not changing, especially when you look at their schedule. As the season goes on, their schedule is one of the easiest in the AFC. So, I expect that they will win the AFC East. They will have to go on the road to win a couple of tough playoff games, but I think Tom Brady and Bill Belichick can do that. As far as Seattle is concerned, they may lose today against St. Louis, but a look at their schedule - they’ll get Hasselbeck and Alexander back - I am not jumping off that train just yet either.

• "A lot of blame has been placed on Michael Vick, but his wide receivers are just downright horrible. With all these dropped passes, Michael Vick, I suggest you file a missing person’s report on their hand"- Shannon Sharpe
• "I know drops are subjective, but to whip out my calculations, sometimes I use scratch paper, sometimes my head and sometimes a calculator, he has between 8-10 dropped passes."- Shannon Sharpe

Week 11:

• "Randy Moss is not a leader. He doesn't deserve to be the captain of the Oakland Raiders. He's the one who said he wanted to be traded. He's not happy. His effort is lacking. That's a disgrace to the uniform. I don't care what uniform you have on."- Boomer Esiason

Week 12:

• "The first change I would make would be to tell Arthur Blank to stay up in the booth. You barely know the difference between a screen porch and a screen play. And you only know about a screen porch because you worked at Home Depot. Stay up in the booth and let Jim Mora do his job. Second of all, no, I don't think they're going to make the playoffs."- Shannon Sharpe
• It may look like one of those old games between Dan Marino and Boomer Esiason - whichever quarterback has the ball in his hands at the end - he's going to get a chance to throw that winning interception.- Steve Tasker (on the HOU-NYJ game)

Week 13:

• "If you're a Cincinnati Bengal, you take care of business, everything is right in front of you. If they go 3-1 at the end of the year, they'll get a wild card."- Dan Marino
• "I think you stay with Rex Grossman. He's a young quarterback. He has made mistakes. Early he played really well. He was getting a lot of support from his running game when he was playing well earlier in the year. Yes, the last six games he has the turnovers and mistakes. This is a guy that can win for you and get them to the Super Bowl"- Dan Marino

Week 14:

• "If he doesn't improve his play, he's going to be on the bench and Brian Griese is going to be the next quarterback of the Chicago Bears."- Charlie Casserly
• "I have to disagree with you. What I saw was a jittery, deer-in-the-headlights quarterback-type back there. I think Mike Shanahan is playing with fire here. They're with seven wins right now in the AFC. They have a chance to get to the playoffs. By removing Jake Plummer, you take that out of the equation right now. I think this is a big mistake."- Boomer Esiason
• "Absolutely not. To be successful in the postseason, you have to be able to stop the run. And right now the Colts' defense cannot do that…They're giving up over five yards a rush. It's not good. They have to get it straightened out if they have any aspirations of playing in Miami in February."- Rich Gannon
• "If anybody can do it, it could be Peyton Manning because he'd have to play perfect. He's capable of doing that. [They are] a team that can't stop the run…They have a drug problem. They're getting drug up one side of the field and drug back down the other. That is a real problem. You can’t do that in the playoffs, so, I say no."- Dan Marino

Week 15:

• "Spitting in the face of DeAngelo Hall, and let me preface this by saying Congress is not in session, but they would have had to call an emergency session and pass special legislation to get me off T.O. if he had done that to me. T.O., you being from the South, I myself am from the South, you know that's one of the greatest taboos that you do not do to another man. And for you to be smug with a cavalier attitude in saying you’re sorry… Don't apologize to the public. Don’t apologize to us at these desks."- Shannon Sharpe
• "At least we know he's an equal opportunity offender. He will offend anybody: his own teammates, his own coaches, his owners. He will sabotage a particular season or franchise, and this time, now he goes across the line and spits in the face of an opposing player."- Boomer Esiason
• "Home Depot does not sell enough nails and plywood to fix what's wrong them. Even with Ed Reed pushing the umpire into the running back, they still couldn't stop the run. Indy, you're in trouble and no team has ever gone to the Super Bowl lower than 20th in run defense. You need to get it fixed and I don't see how you can get it done with the personnel you have."- Shannon Sharpe
• "He will be fine. He will be fine. Trust me. There are a lot of happy women out there now that Tom Brady is a single man, I can assure you that."- Shannon Sharpe

Week 16.......Stangely missing from the archives. Did something happen that week that I missed?

Week 17:

• It hasn't changed. I thought it was going to be the New York Jets and the Denver Broncos...So Denver is going to go play New England in a rematch of last year's playoff game and the Jets will go to Indianapolis in their opening playoff game. So, the Jets and Denver make it in.- Boomer Esiason
• I do agree with you, Phil, of how great Peyton Manning is...but he's not going to the Super Bowl. This team is severely flawed. You cannot win a Super Bowl with a running defense like the Indianapolis Colts have. Dan Marino lived through this in Miami and now Peyton Manning is living through it in Indianapolis- Boomer Esiason
• All right. Let's start with Tony Romo. He's 1-2 in his last three games. He's gone from Jessica Simpson to Carrie Underwood, so he's not winning the Super Bowl.- Boomer Esiason
• "Michael Vick, I'm going to keep it real. You guys are not that talented. And talent alone does not win football games. The team that plays the best together on that particular Sunday, that's the team. You make no one around you better. You are a better football player. You run the football. You got 1,000 yards. You're so proud of that, but that's like LaDainian Tomlinson saying I lead all in running back passes. That's what you're there for to run the football. You're there to distribute the football and make that team better - and you have not done that."- Shannon Sharpe

Playoffs!??!?! Playoffs?

• Boomer Esiason wearing a Bill Belichick-like hooded sweatshirt on who he thinks will win: "You know I'm sticking with it, JB. This man has a Ph.D. in NFL coaching. Other coaches that he plays against make mistakes. He never makes a mistake. Plus he has Tom Brady. In order for the Indianapolis Colts to win this game, they've got to get some of that confidence back that they're missing on offense. But I don't think that's going to happen."
• Eli Manning knows no matter what happens, he’s going to be the starting quarterback for the New York Giants next year. Tom Coughlin knows if they lose this ballgame, there’s a great chance that he's not going to be coach of the New York Giants next year. That’s a lot of pressure.- Shannon Sharpe
• If I’m Lovie Smith, he doesn't make it to the playoff game. He's on the bench and Brian Griese is in.- Shannon Sharpe
• Marino: You never tell anybody you're not giving 100%. Even if you don’t feel it, don't tell anybody. Boomer: He's the Paris Hilton of NFL quarterbacks. (On Rextasy)

Well I'm glad you made it to the bottom of the list. You better have read every single one because I spent two hours on this damn post!!!!!