God, I really wanted to avoid this story, but there is seriously nothing else going on this afternoon. Tom Hoffarth of Farther off the Wall was listening to The Herd this morning when Cowherd went on a rant about how he wants to do a second show all about relationship talk. Seriously.

"You trust my opinions," he said. "So I can just do a relationship show for women the same way. There's gotta be a demo(graphic) for this."

His idea is to get callers from a "cool" city like New York or L.A., from women who have intelligence and really want smart answers. 'Cause that's what he'll give 'em.

He admits he's no doctor, but has an ex-wife, a daughter and a lot of female friends. Plus, as a single guy in his 40s, he also has no agenda -- very important for a male giving a female advice.

Meaning, he's content being a single male in his 40s?

Cowherd then took a call from a female listener who supported his idea. So did another male caller. Soon, Cowherd's female producer was pretending to be a caller to his "new" show, and asked a test question: "My husband doesn't make me feel special. I need more attention from him."

Cowherd's immediate advice: "Give him a gun and tell him to shoot himself."

Hoffarth said he was sort of joking at first, but as more callers chimed in, his ego grew to the point where it sounded like he was really considering it. He even tried to say that his current show is a "relationship based" program. I personally think it's a great idea. In fact, just pack up your Sports Radio show and please disappear to somewhere I could never hear about you ever again. Some start a petition to make this happen.

Colin's Love Connection (Farther Off The Wall)

I'm borderline furious this morning and not just because I have to mention Colin Cowherd. Joe Buck was on ESPN Radio this morning, and you can't make this stuff up, said he doesn't enjoy Baseball anymore and chooses to watch the Bachlorette over nightly Sports telecasts during the week.

The talk began with Cowherd complaining about Sports during the week and how the average Sports fan doesn't pay attention. He then brought Joe Buck on for the following conversation....

I'm just at a loss for words. FOX's national voice for Baseball openly admitted to not enjoying the game he covers, cramming for weekend matchups, thinking that the games are too long and that the game just isn't the same. Unbelievable. You're getting paid millions of dollars for watching a game three hours. Cry me a river! What's even worse than that was the fact that he was on for another 4 or 5 minutes talking about a Cubs-Red Sox World Series. Are you kidding me?!

Without going off my rocker I just want to point out that this is the reason why everyone is upset with a lot of broadcasters in Sports. You have the coolest damn job in the World in Sports Fans eyes, and while you're supposed to be serving as the voice of the fans, you act like you're above the game. This is the main reason why Joe Buck and his kind are probably the worst thing for Sports. Buck wants to be a Hollywood star and doesn't have time for the Sport that brought him to the dance. Well his father brought him to the dance in the family station wagon, but Baseball is ultimately who he's partying with. You get my point.

I completely understand the average American not watching Baseball during the week. You have kids, your job is demanding and you're just tired as hell. I get it and that's what the internet is for. But for a daily Sports talk show host and the voice of the World Series to bash Sports this way is just wrong and shows how much the game suffers when you continue to put them on air. It's your g'damn job to know what you're talking about. It's people like this that give the whole profession a bad name and make those who do their homework and bust their ass look bad by association.

There's always a disparity in the way I cover announcers on the site. One of the main things I say during radio and online interviews is that there's a HUGE difference between an announcer who makes a ton mistakes and one who makes mistakes while putting himself above the game. I'll take John Madden's insane ramblings any day because you know in the end he loves the Sport of Football and he's just crazed at the moment and can't put his thoughts together.

Joe Buck is the worst of the worst in my book and if he doesn't want to call Baseball anymore there are a million of people that would jump at the chance. Hurry up and give him a talk show FOX so I can completely tune him out.

Man ESPN makes this too easy at times. Not sure why they would post these pictures, but here are some of the highlights from ESPN Radio's "personalities" during "The Weekend".....

Too funny.

ESPN The Weekend Photos (ESPN Radio)

I know I said I was never going to mention Shrutebag's nonsense on this site again, but this is just about the funniest thing I've ever read. Remember the guy that sued all of those stars from jail trying to get $25 Million? Well he's back and he's going after Shrutebag.

In fact this is a pretty accurate description of Cowherd and his show.

Via Deadspin.... (Click for Larger)



There's so many good items in there, but my favorite has to be, "Cowherd has a secret affair with Amanda from the show, saw them at a Ohio State Best Western together. Fish comes from the bottom of Salt Lake, Cowherd lies on the show, claims he goes to the gym after work, instead I saw him at Starbucks with Lloyd Carr."

Hi-Lar-E-Us. Someone needs to get this guy his own TV show.

Inmate Sues Schrutebag For "Ear Poisoning" (Deadspin)

I know we've all beaten this issue into the ground regarding Sean Taylor, and giving Cowherd press in any way is the opposite of what I've said in the past, but this needs to be said. It's one thing to speculate that the death of Sean Taylor was directly related to his character (ala Wilbon), but it's another thing to completely gloat over the fact you think you're right (with no facts to prove it).

Dan Steinberg has been collecting quotes from Shrutebag's "coverage" of Taylor's passing over the past day or so, and I wanted to share a few (since I refuse to listen to the ass).....

"Sean Taylor, great player has a history of really really bad judgment, really really bad judgment. Cops, assault, spitting, DUI. I'm supposed to believe his judgment got significantly better in two years, from horrible to fantastic? 'But Colin he cleaned up his act.' Well yeah, just because you clean the rug doesn't mean you got everything out. Sometimes you've got stains, stuff so deep it never ever leaves."

"I want to know the truth. I want to know the details. It's not pretty? I don't care, I'm a grown-up. I can handle not pretty. A lot of people can't in the media, a lot of people can't, 'Oh, wah wah wah, sensitivity, he's a great person, wah wah wah.' Hey, I don't care, that's fine, he died, let's get to the truth. We're all about the truth. We always say on this show, we're not always good, we're always honest. Just give me honesty."

No, all the information's not in. But I feel pretty confident that my gut feeling, like any of yours, by the way, is right and was right.

Oh no! He spit on someone? Crucify him! And a DUI?!?! About 50% of the people I know have one. Is that right or okay? Of course not, but you know when they got them??? When they were young and they've since grown up. Who cares if multiple people have said the guy has grown up since the birth of his child and that the cops are saying this is just a random act of violence (although Antrelle Rolle says different)? Let's just go with it. Even if you are right....who the hell cares? Go ahead and brag about it you douche. Congrats....you win nothing.

According to Cowherd, gut reactions are now considered fact on ESPN Radio. Again, I don't listen to Colin Cowherd (never really did until the whole TBL thing), but this s**t with him has gotten completely out of hand. He's a sensationalist and unprofessional as it gets. While we already knew that, the crap his spewing over the past few days is completely ridiculous. I know ESPN does nothing in regards to these situations (sans-Harold Reynolds), but I want them to know that ESPN Radio will never grace these ears until that jackass is gone and I hope the readers here do the same.

Colin Cowherd on Sean Taylor (DC Sports Bog)

It's a valid question isn't it? Why in the world would ESPN add Shrutebag to a three-man team to make it an unheard of four-man broadcast? It's such a dumb move that it's beyond my comprehension. Here are a few reasons that I could come up with. Help me in figuring this out by adding one in the comments....

1. Colin's radio show is getting terrible ratings. They put him on one of the first College games of the year to hype his show. This seems the most plausible, especially since the press release read like this, "ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd of The Herd with Colin Cowherd will provide commentary from the booth of ESPN’s Washington at Syracuse telecast Friday, Aug. 31 at 8 p.m." (FYI- I know nothing about his ratings, so that may or may not be the case)

2. DNS Server attacks cost money in lawyer fees. He has to make a few extra bucks.

3. ESPN couldn't think up a worse punishment for Sean McDonough, Rob Stone, and Chris Spielman.

4. He was jealous that Bill Simmons got to call a game.

5. He has some free time on his hands.

6. He needs some more information for that game show thingy he was doing. Oh wait....that was canceled. Nevermind.

7. He's jealous of Olbermann's new role on NBC.

8. He needs a new forum to show off his magic skills.

9. They put him in Syracuse to get him as far away from Cincinnati as they can.

10. He needs to pass the time until the next Radio ESPY Awards Ceremony.

Sorry I might have taken them all....if you have one to add feel free to add it in the comments. And Shrutey......I'll (We'll) be watching. Don't F up.

8 p.m.- ESPN /ESPN Mobile TV- Washington at Syracuse
Sean McDonough, Chris Spielman, Colin Cowherd and Rob Stone

Don't know if you're listening to ESPN Radio today (or any day), but ESPN has replaced the Scott Van Pelt Show (last week) with the Doug Gottlieb Show today. I've always enjoyed Dougie Fresh and he could be good on radio (unlike when he hosts for Rome on television).

I've got an idea though ESPN. Forget putting Cowturd or Van Peezy or Douglas in the slot, and let's go with Mike and Mike.....they seem like they have some free time.

ESPN Radio: Dan Patrick Show

Man, when I tell you these things write themselves...I mean they REALLY write themselves. Via some wonderful SbB research comes the tidbit that Colin Cowherd hosted the ESPYs.....The Radio ESPYs.....

"The second annual ESPN1430 Radio ESPY awards were presented last Saturday evening at the William Saroyan Theater in Fresno. The festivities were co-hosted by ESPN's Colin Cowherd and 1430 ESPN Radio's own Paul Swearengin. The awards, sponsored by KFIG-1430 radio, honored the area's top high school, college and pro athletes and teams."

"And the High School Athletic Department of the Year Award Goes to.....Clovis West!"

What a loser....but hey, he probably got to meet Female Athlete of the Year Katie Menton (below). Hey, Shrutebag's single baby, and SB is gonna do what SB's gotta do.


And the ESPY award goes to... (The Sierra Star)
"CO-HOST" COWHERD PROBABLY GOT PAID IN FERTILIZER (Sports By Brooks)

In all my years reading Bill Simmons (probably 7 or so), I don't think he's ever responded, or acknowledged critics (let alone two in the same article). Well, that's what happened yesterday.

Simmons first responds to Cleveland writer Ron Brown after the journalist put him in the #3 spot of people who have done the most damage to their reps during the Cleveland-Detroit Series. Brown wrote that Simmons called James an "overhyped fraud", which he never did, and that Simmons then "fawned over James like a 13-year old girl." Bill easily knocks him down a few pegs with this response....

Sorry, I have to respond to this one. First of all, if Roger can produce anything I've ever written that called him LeBron an "overhyped fraud," I will send him a $200 check to double the salary that the News-Herald is paying him every week. I think he has me confused with Charley Rosen. Second, I love the idea that me "ripping" LeBron gained me national attention ... really? From who? Did I happen to be in a coma at the time?

I'm of course with Bill on this one...hasn't every writer (including those in Cleveland) notes that James loafs through the season, and this HAD to be the Playoffs that he stepped up in? Pretty obvious right???

The thing that strikes me is that Simmons actually took time to respond to a no-name writer in Cleveland. I mean I probably have more credibility than that guy (and that's not saying much). But even more surprising than that is Simmons' response to Colin Cowherd after Shrutebag made fun of his Kobe trade scenarios. Here's the quote...

And if that wasn't bad enough, Cowherd embarrassed himself by not understanding basic NBA trading principles like "it would be valuable for L.A. to swap Vlad Radmanovic's contract for Bobby Sura's expiring contract in a T-Mac/Kobe deal because Sura's contract expires in 2008, which would buy them some cap space down the road."

Look, I know the radio business lends itself to hosts lazily skimming other people's columns and blogs (FYI- AA added the link) ... but seriously, Colin, in the words of Mark Jackson, you're better than that. Your show's on for three hours a day and you get four giant commercial breaks per hour. That leaves you plenty of time to research your segments so you don't come off as misinformed. No offense.

DAGGER! That is just a wicked response. It's nice to know that his "peers" think of him in the same regard that us Bloggers do.

I like this side of you Bill. You've got a new 4-year contract, and you're the Captain of a sinking ship. It's time to start your "airing of greivances" and I'm all for it. But can you do one thing for me....tell the Page 2 editors to change the name of your section. You don't write a Blog you write a Column. It reeks of Page 2 trying to be hip when they change the name.

P.S.- I'm going to unfortunately listen to Shrutebag's show today to see if there's a response. Hey, us journalists have to do stuff we don't like sometime(s). I'm doing it so you don't have to (WOW! AA took Six Silver Bullets for me!!!)

Housecleaning time: Clips, links and e-mail (Page 2: Simmons' Blog)
ESPN's Anthony: Spurs over Cavs (The News Herald)

(P.S.- Thanks to Larry Burns for posting this in the comments and alerting me to the feud)

Update: Here's Cowherd's response.

(Usually) Everyday (usually around noon) I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful (or two) of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winner: Another tough one here....I'm going with a top 3.












1. "Now, Tony, on your wedding night you're going to want to take her legs and put them behind her head...trust me. They don't call me The Big Fundamental for nothing."- G-Money

2. "This is basketball Tony, not war. You cant surrender."- Hercules Rockefeller

3. "Je vous adore mon cheré. wait what's that mean?"- Jibblescribbits

Oh man....the one for this weekend is a good one! Are you funny enough to come up with a caption for this photo of ESPN Radio Host Shrutebag getting a tattoo for losing a bet on the show?


AA's Entry: I've honestly got nothing. I just can't get over the terrified look on his face. What a b***h.

Photo (Joe Faraoni/ESPN)

Daily Links:

Don't Do It! (38 Cliches)
Some interesting 50 Cent Vitamin Water News (Brahsome)
Barkley and Tony Gwynn Sticking up for Bonds (Bugs and Cranks)
Crappy Gaming Wecomics! (Covered in Gravy)
Empty Nationals Bud Light Bottles On Ebay! (Deuce of Davenport)
Armando Benitez Is Banished for Balking (Digital Headbutt)
Brien from ECB has a kid. Congrats man! (East Coast Bias)
Extra P tries to ruin RUN College Baseball (Extrapolater)
What a Dumbass (G:TB)
MC Bias tries to run the National Spelling Bee (If I Ran...)
Mark Lemke OBVIOUSLY never took Steroids (JCMJ)
Oh God How I Hate Michelle Wie (Larry Brown Sports)
Penguins Fan, and Rapper, a Witness to a murder? (Mondesi's House)
Your Bizzaro HOF- 1984! (OMDQ)
West "F***in'" VA! (Mister Irrelevant)
Kill Buss (Pyle of List)
Try and Challenge the NFL Cuban (Signal to Noise)
An interview with NFL from Hater Nation (The Big Picture)
Details from Vick's Dogfighting Escapades (The Sports Hernia)
Your Guide to Watching Game 5...Should be every game (Flyers Fieldhouse)

And finally....the link of the week in my opinion:

The Blog Show Drinking Game! (Rumors and Rants)

Make sure to test that game out tonight at 6pm sharp!

(P.S.- Friday links will always be a little larger to get you through the weekend, but definitely go through all of those!)

Oh man....here he goes again. Just when you think the guy has maybe learned his lesson he's back at it.

Audio: Colin wonders whyInsider NBC hired Keith Olbermann for Sunday Night Football.

The segment begins with Cowhered stating that "we had a couple of decisions from networks....one brilliant and one a head scratcher." He then goes into how HBO did a great job by hiring Martial Arts experts to call the matches on the channel. I agree....then he drops the bomb.

"Probably get in trouble for this. It's amazing how much you get in trouble for honesty" (Oh god....don't do it Colin....you're going to regret this)

Conversly, and I’ll get in trouble for this. NBC this week has put Keith Olbermann on Sunday Night Football in America with Bob Costas. Olbermann is bright and talented and a really good broadcaster, but he’s about as middle-america as a transgender film festival. He’s a Northeast Intellectual Baseball Guy….he doesn’t speak to the NFL fan at all!

Keith is about as NFL as Pinot Grigio and an ascot. I can’t think of anyone who is less than Keith Olbermann other than maybe Anderson Cooper.

Wow. Okay first...."Transgender Film Festival"??? What in the hell does that mean. Second....umm didn't Olbermann host an NFL highlight show with Chris Collinsworth at one point??? And third, it's f'ing highlights which he did for years on SportsCenter.

I don't care how you feel about the decision to put 40 people on the Pre and Halftime Shows don't you think that attacking Olbermann's credibility is just sad and pathetic?

And just to let us know how much credibility he actually has........

"I love Joe Buck....I think Joe Buck on Fox is my favorite play by play guy in the Country. He speaks to me."

(Much Much More to come....I've already heard Olbermann's response and it's great, but I want to hear the audio again before I start quoting it.)

UPDATE #1: Play the clip until there is 5:15 left for fabulous commentary on Moroccan food, and a HILARIOUS cous-cous joke.

UPDATE #2: I implore you to read this Sports By Brooks Post from today. Here comes the controversy!

UPDATE #3: Here are Keith Olbermann's comments in response after hearing the clip......

Who is this again?- KO
It's Colin Cowherd....he's a radio host on ESPN. He does the show prior to this one.- DP
I'm not familiar...has he been here long?- KO
He's been here.....he took over for Tony Kornheiser- DP
Ohhhh.....what did he do before that?- KO
He was in Portland, Oregon....very successful in Portland, Oregon- DP
Ever done television?- KO
He did television in Las Vegas I believe- DP
Did he do NFL Highlights on National Television after Sunday and Monday Night games, and all day Sunday for say ESPN for any length of time?- KO
I don't believe he ever has.- DP

Hahahaha. I just love when you're so badass and relevant that you can just ask questions and hint at all of the stuff you've ever done. The "who are you again" line can never be topped. Shrutebag once again......Owned.

Go here for the audio courtesy of Olbermann Watch

As we've already found out on this site....The ESPN Ombudswoman seems to be very straightforward and honest. Very noble qualities for use at a very non-noble entity.

Well Mrs. Schreiber has responded to the barrage of emails on the Colin Cowherd/Big Lead incident, and I can't say I'm not disappointed. I know it's not her job to rake ESPN through the coals, but I think everyone can agree that that move was blatant and petty. Here's the article and the actions that were taken.....

A few quotes and highlights......

1. "The official response from ESPN's communication department was: "Our airwaves should not be used for this purpose. We apologize." It is the kind of bland public statement that does little to assuage the anger and distrust of ESPN's audience over an episode like this. I could not tell from that statement how seriously ESPN regarded the offense, so I contacted Traug Keller, senior vice president, ESPN Radio, to get a clearer idea of ESPN's reaction."- The Ombudswoman

2. Keller responded immediately to my request for an on-the-record statement. "We talked to Colin Cowherd, and we talked to all our radio talent, making it clear that you cannot do this," Keller said Friday. "Our airwaves are a trust, and not to be used to hurt anyone's business. Such attacks are off limits. Zero tolerance. I can't say it any stronger."

3. Keller said that he had not formulated a policy about such attacks on Internet sites until now because he had never imagined the possibility of them.

4. Now that ESPN Radio has such a policy, I presume such attacks will be treated as an offense that warrants suspension.

Really? You're okay with that response??? Because I'm not. ESPN has random suspensions all the time, but there is no clear pattern for anything. I would never say this is better/worse than a sexual harassment case, but they are both pretty despicable.

With that said.....I think we should all just move past this, and onto kicking ESPN's ass in reporting, humor, and unbiased content....but I'm a little disappointed. Not really the Ombudswoman's fault, but I think I would have taken it further than the ESPN Radio's VP who's really just trying to save face.

You can't be happy with that result, but if TBL can move on, so can we. I hope Cowherd is happy we listened for one day, but it's pretty unlikely that will happen again. I'm not kidding when I say that was some of the worst radio I've ever heard. People who disagree with him get hung up on and he contradicts himself for 3 hours....great job ESPN....good luck with those ratings.

P.S.- Everyone who sent in Photoshops....I appreciate it. Most were too...ummm graphic....to post on the site. So I will give you the "clean" winner, but everyone will get a Free Harold! T-shirt for their time. Just email me your contact info....and I'm proud to be a part of this Sports Blogosphere community and everyone who "displayed" their displeasure with Shrutebag. Cheers.

As the winner Brian from Talking NFL describes it....."Borges, Cowherd. Cowherd, Borges. Or should I say; Douchebag, Schrutebag. Schrutebag, Douchebag." Bravo B.

So the whole 'sphere knows that Coward begged listeners to crash The Big Lead's site yesterday (I'm not linking it so there's a break in the hits). Well I'm going to keep a running Photolog of his webcam today. Let the photoshopping begin! I'll replace these with the best....feel free to email them to awfulannouncing@gmail.com.

The Official New Name for the douchebag: Shrutebag.

Update: Thanks to Awful Officiating we now have Colin's MySpace Page.

Update #2: Yep....the cup pictures are him doing "magic" for the camera. He also did the thumb trick, and is drinking Fresca. F'ing Fresca!!!

Update #3: Mondesi's House has info on another little feud Cowherd has going on.



















And that's your show. No mention of TBL or an apology of any kind. Their site is back down again by the way. So here's your assignment AAers.

We're having a Photoshop Contest with wiked prizes to be announced. Everyone send your entries in this weekend, and I'll pick the winner early next week. Hopefully this new photo can become Colin's new "Official" photo for these here interwebs.

I'm leaving this post up to end the week. I think it's only appropriate. OMDQ, and Extra P will lead you through the darkness the rest of the weekend. Send those Photoshops! AwfulAnnouncing@gmail.com