So, you want to throw it to the guys on YOUR team? Ahhh, good tip.

Sanchez: "I've been working on my Manning Face for a while. How's yours?"

A camera? This here's a camera? What's it for?

Minnesota? That's wayyyy over there somewhere.....

You picked your number based on the number of wins you're going to get this season? So did I!

You see, Joe, when you're the starting quarterback at USC, you get used to cameras in your face all the time. The trick I learned is to flick the lens like this!

No Joe, ESPN is doing their "Favre Returns" interviews over there.

And over there is the supermodel I'll be nailing halfway through the season. How are the women in Baltimore, Joe? Oh, never mind.

A promising young quarterback. And Mark Sanchez.

You put your lips together like this and then go "pbbbbbbbbbbbt". And that's how you do the Motor Boat.

That's where you'll be going if your team humiliates me in front of the nation. Into the crowd.

"So you say that there are hot women at Fell's Point?! Are they like supermodel hot, or just kinda hot? Nevermind. Now, where is it again? Over that way?"

"Flacco...Flacco...hmmm...I think I nailed a chick named Flacco once. You got a sister?"

Nope, I don't know any of my wide receivers' names either....

JF: It's nice to meet you, Mr. Hasselhoff.

...To the Slawson cutoff, get out of your car and cut off your slawson...

C'mon, who remembers Johnny Carson's Art Fern character?

Turtle? Yeah... he's in section 103... bout twenty rows up with the hot brunette from the Sopranos.

Sanchez: "Steve Young said the statue of me he's going to build will have a solid gold arm."

Sanchez: "Don't pluck it dude. I get mine lazered at this place down the road."

Flacco: "Just trying to avoid the wax, man. It leaves a rash."

Flacco : Ray Liotta, when did you sign with the Jets?