The Bears played three and a half quarters of just flat out terrible Football, but somehow managed to pull out a win. After a Matt Forte TD to tie the game, Will Blackmon returned the following kickoff to the 50, but an Adrian Peterson late hit gave the Packers the ball at the Bears' 45 yard line.

After a first down and a few runs, the Packers had a chance for the win with a 38 yard Mason Crosby FG. The Bears blocked it, sent the game into overtime (after a coin toss off the head of Urlacher), and proceeded to keep their Playoff dreams alive with a 47 yard drive and a game winning Robbie Gould FG....

"Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. I'm huntin' quartahbacks."

Per Andrea, Lovie Smith claims the Bears dominated the first half. I'd like some of the drugs he's smoking. Orton starts with a nine yard completion, Forte gets the first down at the 39 yard line for the Bears. Orton aims downfield for Rashied Davis, who drops it -- it's a few feet ahead of him. Orton then underthrows Hester, with Antoine Winfield putting a hand on it. Hester didn't look like he was ready for it, though. Orton hits Davis over the middle, throwing it just as Chad Greenaway nails him.

First down at the Minny 44 will be first and five at the 39 after encroachment on the Vikings. Coach Major Dad is pissed. Forte gets knocked back a few yards, and now we've got 3rd and 7. Allen the Hunter clips Orton first on the play, and another Minny lineman finishes him off. Maynard to punt to Berrian, who fair catches at the 11.

Purple Jesus picks up three yards on the carry, and he's looking a little gimpy. Quick sling to the fullback for a couple to make it a 3rd and 4. Frerotte throws into double coverage and it's picked off by Kevin Payne! He goes all the way across the field and then gets to the Vikings' 4 yard line before stepping out of bounds.

First and goal, Bears.

"I guarantee they're not gonna hand it to the fullback up the middle." - John

No, but they go to Forte for two yards to the 2 yard line. Forte splits out wide on Chad Greenaway, and Orton hits him in the end zone. TOUCHDOWN, BEARS!

Gould's extra point is good, and that cuts the Vikes' lead to 17-14.

The Vikes' rookie kick returner brings it out 48 yards, and they'll be starting in good position. This song with the LeBron James ad -- that "Candyman" song -- I can't remember who did this song. Can anyone help me out?

PJ takes the screen pass but Urlacher sniffs it out for a 2 yard loss. Peterson takes the next carry and gets seven yards on the outside. The 3rd down pass by Frerotte is tipped by Ogunleye, so the defense holds against the good field position. They need Hester to get something back in terms of yardage on this punt. It bounces into the end zone again; Chicago will start on the 20.

Orton goes deep and pulls a Rex Grossman by aiming it right into the arms of Darren Sharper, who picks it at the 46. Peterson grabs six yards on two carries, 3rd and 4. Frerotte hits Sidney Rice on the side for a first down. Peterson to the 22. In comes Chester Taylor, and he busts it down the sideline on an outside run to the end zone -- TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS. Longwell's kick is up and good, 24-14, Vikings.

Forte gets nothing on the first carry from the 18. Four yards on a catch from Devin Hester. Orton's 3rd and 7 pass is incomplete to Greg Olsen, it's right behind him. Maynard's punt goes out of bounds near midfield, and Frerotte starts by throwing to Berrian for a ccuple of yards.

"At the end of every tackle, they're trying to strip the ball out. So they're very good strippers. They know where to go." - John
"Yeah, right to the Love Boat." - Al

Hiyo! 3rd and 3. Frerotte rolls to his right, tries to hit Shiancoe, but overthrows him by just a little bit. Another punt for Kluwe. Hester fair catches it at the 6.

Forte starts by heading right through the middle for 25 yards, giving the offense some breathing room. He catches the next pass for a few after topping 1,000 rushing yards for the season. Forte heads up to the 39, and it'll be 3rd and 2 when the fourth quarter starts.

Late in posting this gem, but it happened a couple drives ago:

"You knew that something good wasn't going to happen on that drive because the Bears have never scored on a drive that started at the 20 and that drive started at that 20." - John Madden (via JFein)

Astonishingly dumb.

3rd down pass to Davis is incomplete, punt time (again!) Berrian gets hit at the 14 after receiving Maynard's punt. Two plays of not much make a 3rd and 8, and John is talking about Frerotte's original "go home on Monday and Tuesday" arrangement as the back-up. Not enough on 3rd down, as Frerotte checks down to Taylor. Hester takes the line-drive punt at the 44 and loses a couple after being hit.

Hester gets three yards on the end around. Orton is promptly picked off by Ben Lieber, he runs the other way, and Greg Olsen stripped him while tackling. The call gives the Bears the ball back, but this will be challenged to see if the ball goes out of bounds.

Childress wins his challenge -- because that ball did go out of bounds. Minny ball at the Chicago 22. Peterson gets a yard on the carry. Chester Taylor barrels through for about seven yards. Taylor then goes to the five on the next rush. He's still short two plays later. 3rd and goal, and here comes Peterson back in.

Peterson walks in for another Vikings TOUCHDOWN, even with 12 Bears on the field. Longwell's kick is good, 31-14.

Hester finally makes a kickoff return, and we get more Prince. Orton is promptly picked by Benny Sapp, completing the Sexy Rexy-like performance -- and Brandon Lloyd gets called for a horse-collar tackle, adding on 15 more yards.

First and 10 at the Chicago 20, and Peterson gets about three yards. Four more on the next carry, and it's 3rd and 3. He runs to the 7 and it's first and goal. The next few efforts to get in the end zone don't fly, and Longwell comes on to kick a field goal. His FG is up and good, 34-14, Vikings.

Danyel Manning brings the kick out to about the 30, but it's getting pushed back thanks to a holding flag. The Bears get bunk on the next couple plays, and will punt again, basically ceding the game now. Now we have to wait out a few minutes. Berrian fair catches with 2:38 left to play.

"When Jared Allen gets a sack he ropes a calf." - John (via Mal)

"He's gonna drink this all in." - Al, on Allen (seems like an odd choice, Allen being an alcoholic who's been through the 12-step)

The Vikes are running out the clock by using Chester Taylor, and Kluwe will punt with about 30 seconds left. Earl Bennett takes it out to the 32. Garrett Wolfe takes the carry, and that's it: Vikings win 34-14 and take the lead in the NFC North at 7-5. See you all next week for the college football conference championships and another week of NFL action!

It's not a live-blog of a Bears game without a photo of Kyle Orton out on the town, really. Blog law, y'know.

Al just referred to the "friendly confines of Soldier Field" when referring to the rest of the Bears' schedule. NO. MAKE IT STOP.

The Vikings are wearing the old purple uniforms without all that silly piping and sheen. Why not go back to those, Minnesota? Peterson is smashed at the line by the Bears on 2nd down. 3rd down pass is incomplete, looked like it was going to Shancoe and Urlacher was covering him. Kluwe to punt to Hester, it bounces, and the Vikings down it inside the 1.

Brad Childress, the fierce urgency of now really would dictate having a better quarterback than Gus Frerotte. I would have to vote for Childress as the NFC's Peter Principle Coach. (The AFC's? Norv Turner, of course!)

Robbie Gould will kick off and it goes all the way into the end zone for a touchback. Frerotte completes his first pass to Bernard Berrian across the 30 for a first down right off the bat. Adrian Peterson busts through to the 38 on his first carry. Swing pass on 2nd to Jeff Dugan for another first down. 2nd and 11 is another Peterson run up the middle, and Frerotte's going to have to throw again for a first....and Alex Brown sacks him on 3rd down.

"Brad Childress says that he's a violent runner." - John Madden (via JFein), on Adrian Peterson

Chicago will start at its own 20 thanks to a punt trickling into the end zone.

Orton throws two passes out of the gun to start, both are incomplete to Des Clark and Greg Olsen, respectively. 3rd and 10. Orton's sacked, but it's due to an offsides on Minny. So, now we get 3rd and 5 thanks to the most penalized team in the league. Doesn't matter though, as Orton's 3rd down pass is tipped and nearly picked off. Brad Maynard punts to Berrian, who gets knocked back on the return 3 yards.

Peterson gets a couple, up at the 32. He gets the carry on 2nd down for 2 more. Tommie Harris comes in and smothers Frerotte on 3rd down. Chris Kluwe punts to Devin Hester, fair catch. No one said it was going to be a pretty game offensively, but this is not a good sign.

I am glad to see Brandon Lloyd dropping passes for a team other than the Niners. - 49er16

Redskins fans would also like to affirm that statement.

"You can choose your own cameras; channel your inner Drew Esocoff." - Al Michaels on being able to go to nbc.com and watch the games by choosing your own cameras, etc. (via JFein)

Matt Forte finally gets his first carry for 3 yards. Oh, sheeeit.....Orton to Hester and two dudes completely missed him. Hester makes like EPMD and is housin'. TOUCHDOWN, BEARS!

Gould's XP is good, 7-0, da Bears.

Earl Bennett wails on the Minny kickoff returner at the 16.

"Hester made him look like he'd never played before." - John, on safety Darren Sharper.

Peterson only gets a yard or two on the carry on first down. Frerotte fires a rocket to Visanthe Shincoe for 20 yards at the 38. Next pass is incomplete to Bobby Wade past midfield. Peterson gets stuffed again, the third down pass is incomplete. Vikes punt and down it inside the Bears' 1, but Lovie Smith is challenging, saying the Viking player was in the end zone when he touched the ball.

Smith wins the challenge, and Matt Forte busts out for 18 to the 38 yard line after the Bears start at the 20. False start flagged, then the next pass to Hester is incomplete. Screen to Hester on 2nd and 15 gets nothing. Brandon Lloyd hauls in the 3rd and 15 on the sidelines, and the Bears are in Vikings territory.

1st and 10 on the 43, and Forte gets nailed in the backfield. Another 2nd and long coming up. Orton overthrows Hester on the sideline. Another pass to Hester on 3rd down, and he can't bring it in. Maynard will be punting again after a good defensive play by Winfield at defensive back. The Bears down it at about the 4 yard line.

That is why Adrian Peterson is Purple Jesus: he dragged six or seven Bears with him for 10 yards and a first down on that carry. But then, Mike Brown gets him in the backfield on the next play. 2nd and 12 is over Berrian's head. Screen to Chester Taylor gets up to the 20, but it's still short. Kluwe's punt is caught by Hester, but he can't get anywhere before being tackled.

"His family still lives in St. Louis. So that's a problem. But he loves the paycheck." - John on Frerotte
"Don't we all these days, with this economy!" - Al, laughing

Forte gets two yards on the first carry, as Andrea talks about the StarCaps deal with Kevin and Pat Williams as the first quarter ends. It does sound like a raw deal -- I mean, there's a banned substance, but the NFL didn't tell the Players' Association about it?

Mike Brown, jubilant for actually making a play for the first time since 2001, proceeds to tear his ACL and MCL and is out for the season. - SSReporters

Ha. Jared Allen savages Orton like a bouncer throwing a drunk out after he's been 86ed from the bar on 3rd down. Berrian fair catches Maynard's punt at the Vikings' 35.

Holy crap, AP is good. He bounced off the end for what seemed like 4 yards, and then got sprung down the sideline, Charles Tillman saved a touchdown (for now) by tackling him at the Bears' 5 yard line. Frerotte is nearly picked on 2nd and goal, as it's tipped and almost retrieved by Urlacher. 3rd down is going to Bobby Wade, and it's incomplete -- and Frerotte is on the ground, hurt.

Al: "Gus Frerotte - the modern day 'Suitcase Simpson'". Whatever the heck that means. - Mal

Well, the Bears handle luggage kind of rough, even if you put "Fragile" stickers on it. Ryan Longwell's FG attempt is up and good, 7-3, Bears.

Generally, I'm of the opinion that too many late hits on QBs in the pros and college are overreactions over split seconds, but Adewale Ogunleye is going to be hearing from Lord Rog on that later this week -- in the form of a fine -- for that one on Frerotte that didn't get called.

Danyel Manning takes the kickoff and gets all the way to the Bears' 47 for great field position. 3rd and 2 is caught by Rashied Davis, but he might be short, and there's a flag, too. Illegal formation and that actually cancels the first down.

"It's the first cousin to a false start." - Al, on illegal formation. Forte gets six of the seven needed for a first down, and the Bears will punt on 4th and 1. Maynard's kick rolls out of bounds at the Minny 4.

Finally, a Prince bump! "I Would Die 4 U." Nice choice. Now, NBC, give us some Husker Du and Lifter Puller. Maybe some Replacements while you're at it. Peterson gets knocked for a couple for a loss on the first down carry. More stops, and Chester Taylor only gets up to the 7 on third down. Kluwe will punt again. Hester takes the return out of bounds at the Minny 46.

And we get the Heidi Klum Guitar Hero ad. Frankly, I'm disappointed that they didn't use the director's cut version:



So the Bears' direct-snap is "Cajun" if it's Matt Forte back there and "Cane" if Devin Hester is back. 3rd and long has Orton sacked, but another offsides penalty. 3rd and 4 gets stuffed by one of the Williams linemen. Flag in the secondary -- personal foul on the Vikes, and a 1st down for the Bears. Nice cheap shot, Benny Sapp.

And Forte makes 'em pay by getting around the corner and running all the way to the Vikes' 4 yard line. 1st and goal. Orton throws it out of the end zone since everyone's covered.

"Benny Sapp, feeling like one now." Al, after that awful penalty he committed (via Yet Another Idiot With a Music Blog)

Forte is stuffed on 2nd down just shy of the goal line. Fullback Jason Davis tries to ram it in on 3rd and goal and he's stopped too. Bears are going for it, and Jared Allen comes up to make the stop! Turnover on downs, and Benny Sapp just got bailed out big time.

Lovie Smith and Ron Turner need to have their heads examined for not even bothering to change the play call. How about some play action, guys? Frerotte hits Bernard Berrian, and he's going 99 yards for the score. TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS!

"Frerotte bounced back rather quickly, didn't he?" - John
"I'll say!" - Al

Longwell's kick is up and good, 10-7, Vikings.

Forte is out to about the 38 after a carry and picks up the first down on the next play.

"Unless they come with 50,000 dollars, they're not getting a date." - John, quoting Pat Williams' stance on boys wanting to date his daughters.

The Mortal Adrian Peterson gets a carry for the Bears for a few yards to set up a 3rd and 5. That has to suck, sharing a name with a superstar. You almost feel like you have to change it, even though you've been in the league longer. Mortal Adrian Peterson drops the pass for the Bears. Maynard punts and it goes out of bounds at the 14.

Purple Jesus gets a yard on the carry. They're driving and have two timeouts at the two minute warning, looking to tack on three or seven more.

PJ gets 16 more and is up to the 41 now. Bobby Wade catches a pass from Frerotte and brings it up to the Chicago 44. Berrian gets tackled after a short pass, and there will be 15 more yards thanks to a horse collar tackle by Charles Tillman. 22 yards total on the pass and the penalty.

"That's a horse collar's horse collar." - John
"Even Roy Williams would admit that that's a penalty." - Al
"You could look that up as the definition of a horse-collar tackle." - John
"It's a Clydesdale." - Al

Frerotte over the middle to Jim Kleinsaucer in the end zone -- and it's TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS! This is being reviewed by the booth, and it's being reversed. Kleinsaucer was down at the "quarter-yard" line.

"Let me get this straight now: that would be the nine-inch line." - Al, following it with a drop of "Nine Inch Nails."

Al just referenced Nine Inch Nails? Dear God... Al's head would probably explode if he heard the entirety of a Trent Renzor song. - Yet Another Idiot With a Music Blog

Al's got a head like a hole.

Frerotte on the QB sneak on first and goal, and we have our TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS, followed by a kind of goofy looking spike.

"That's a man's spike." - John
"That one's for Kleinsaucer." - Al

Longwell's PAT is good, 17-7, Vikings.

Is Andy Reid coaching for the Bears? how else to explain that goal line stance and the play calling. As an Eagles fan, I know I've seen that sequence before. - walnuts

The mention of that fat walrus' name pisses me off right now. I'm sorry, but after four weeks of forgetting that Brian Westbrook exists, he then goes back to him for four touchdowns and I've gotten sick of it, so I benched him.

FUCK YOU, FAT ANDY.

The Bears run out the clock to let the half expire. 17-7, Vikes at the half. See you in the second half thread. But first, a musical break featuring Al's new favorite artist for you. (I would embed it but Trent Reznor or his record company do not like embedding and have disabled it on YouTube.)

That's Adrian Peterson, Brian Urlacher, 50 Cent, Dwight Howard, and David Ortiz in an ad for Vitamin Water. The first two are featured in tonight's action on NBC.

But first, catching up with the late slate:

• The Steelers are opening the can up on the Patriots in Foxborough. Two TD passes from Big Ben and three Jeff Reed FGs have them up 23-10. Pitt's defense has brought Matt Cassel back to earth this week.
  
• Jay Cutler has thrown for 300+ yards and the third quarter isn't quite done in New Jersey. Broncos have a 10-point lead on the Jets, thanks to a fumble recovery for a score and touchdowns from Peyton Hillis and Eddie Royal. Thomas Jones has hit paydirt twice for the Jets.
• Atlanta is up 6 on San Diego thanks to 2 TD throws by Matt Ryan, two FGs, and a safety. An Eric Weddle fumble recovery for a score has SD still in the game, and they're about to get the ball back with 3:15 left in the 4th.
• Another fumble recovery for a touchdown has spurred the Chiefs to a lead in the Cripple Fight in Oakland. The Raiders actually got worse from the first half to the second half. Chiefs up 20-10.

Philadelphia: In Donny We Trust.

Akers kicks off to Danyel Manning, who comes out to the 28 yard line. A quick three and out punctuated by an incompletion to Marty Booker, and Brad Maynard will punt again. DeSean Jackson lets it bounce, and it heads back to the 6, where it's downed.

Donny Mac talks about his homecoming to Kanye West in the background. He throws to Brown for an eight-yard gain, while John and Al ramble on about baseball. Correll Buckhalter rumbles for 24 yards out to about the 45. McNabb throws a pick to Kevin Kane -- who returns it all the way to the Eagles' 10 when Buckhalter tackles him -- and Buckhalter's hurt, which the Eagles do not need with Westbrook out.

On 2nd down, Orton throws and it's picked in the end zone. Eagle ball, back at the 20.

Blackhawks, winners? huh? - Not a Blackhawks Fan
What the hell is McNabb talking about? The Cubs and Blackhawks have the longest championship droughts in their sports - the Bulls have sucked since MJ - the Bears have been living off one year for two decades. A town of winners? my ass. - Gibbon Jockey

Lorenzo Booker rushes up the middle for a couple yards, and I bet there's a rush on both Yahoo and ESPN to pick him up off waivers. Jackson drops the 2nd and six pass, as Andrea Kremer tells us Buckhalter's got a lower back contusion. 3rd and six is incomplete, and the Eagles will punt it away -- Hester picks that sucker up and runs backwards to get it. He's out at the 2.

Rex Grossman has a grin on his face, is warming up, and as we speak, is bribing Lovie with (muffle muffle muffle garble) to get in the game after that Orton pick. - SSReporters

This game almost demands a Sex Cannon appearance. Forte loses two on the carry, and the Bears are at their own 1 on 2nd down. Orton's pass got knocked down by either Gocong or Omar Gaither. 3rd down rush goes nowhere, and Maynard punts from the back of his end zone. DeSean Jackson brings it back to the Bears' 35.

Lorenzo Booker just got pasted by Lance Briggs on that 2nd down pass. 3rd and 13 -- and it goes to Selleck, the tight end. Not enough for the first, but enough to get Akers out there, maybe?

Between Booker, Buckhalter and Westbrook, don't you think science could create one running back who could stay healthy for 16 games plus playoffs? Isn't this what the Philadelphia Experiment was all about? - Rob in WI

All my RBs are hurt, so I have to throw on every down. After all these years, Andy Reid finally can execute his perfect game plan. - JG

After seeing the shot of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore next to him, all I can say is Gale Sayers needs to find a new posse. - Jim Williams

Akers' kick bounces off the upright, no score.

"There's your doink." - Al
"That's a doink." - John

And we go to break on "You Dropped a Bomb on Me", which I'm fairly sure is the Gap Band.

That's how many turnovers by Orton the past few plays? Trent Cole smacks the ball out of his hands and Omar Gaither picks it up. Philly ball on the Chicago 28.

FUMBLE...and now "Orton Hears A Boo" - Jim Williams

+1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, blue fish.

Donny Mac converts the latest third down by hitting Jason Avant. He then hits Celek for another six yards. Shovel pass to Avant near the first down marker at the Bears' 3, and it is a first down.

No catches for Hank Baskett so far? Kendra Wilkinson is disappointed. McNabb aims for Baskett, but it's incomplete and thrown into double coverage. D-Mac covers up after tripping on his lineman's foot. 3rd down pass is incomplete, busted up by Nathan Vasher. Let's see if Akers can actually hit this kick.

Up and good, 21-17, Bears.

Akers kicks to Hester, and he busts it all the way to midfield when Akers busts him in the gut for a tackle -- losing his helmet. Orton hits Greg Olsen for three yards. Forte pushes for three more. Bears wind up punting, Jackson fair catches at the 17.

Next week: The Glove vs. Silky Garrard, in that hub of football known as Jacksonville.

After a Jackson catch, it's 3rd and 3 for the Eagles on their own 24. The pass to Brown is broken up. PUNTING IS WINNING!

Hester gets tackled at the Chicago 35 on the punt. Kevin Jones suffers a bout of FUMBLEITIS, and it's Philly ball again. That's three or four Chicago turnovers, right? Al says four. Buckhalter's back, and he rushes outside for four yards. Jackson gets the handoff on the next play and rushes all the way to the Chicago 15.

Hunter Hillenmeyer destroys McNabb on that 1st down, as someone blew a blocking assignment. Buckhalter gets back to the 20, 3rd and 15 now. Short gain to Avant, and here comes Akers again.

With all the Bears turnovers and punts, and the Eagles throwing on every down this game might not be over until sunrise. - JG

Most of find this to be rapidly declining football. The Browns and Bengals, however, find this to be championship calibur play. - Jim Williams

"They're going to try and knock the Eagles out of field goal position." - John

The Bears 24 yard line? Really? - SSReporters

Kick is up and good, 21-20, Bears.

Chicago starts on its 41 yard line and I'm going to say this drive will end in a pick this time. So now, the clock is having issues along with both offenses, conspiring to keep us watching the game longer.

"The scoreboard is frozen, much like the credit markets." - Al

Marty Booker took the end around up to the Bears 43. 2nd and 7 is incomplete. Orton checks off the play and gets a first down with a screen pass to Matt Forte. Hester gets to the Philly 26 on another end around play. He gets snubbed on 1st down, Orton throws it away on 2nd down. Omar Gaither rushes and the 3rd down pass is incomplete...Robbie Gould on for the FG try...from 41 yards out....it is good. 24-20, Bears.


Demps returns it to the 24.

"McNabb's going to try to bail the Eagles out." - Al

Buckhalter runs to the 46 after getting sprung on a nice block. The ball keeps moving as McNabb hits Hank Baskett at the Bears' 21. Buckhalter barrels to the 13. McNabb throws it on a short screen to Tony Hunt, who gets up to the 4. Buckhalter up to the 1. Correll gets smashed up at the 1, and the third down run is also stopped short.

Eagles time out. Garbage's "Push It" for the bump music.

Andy Reid's gonads were surgically removed. How do you go for it on 4th and 1 and run the EXACT SAME PLAY THAT DIDN'T WORK THREE TIMES BEFORE? Bears ball.

Note to Pizza Hut: It is not "mac 'n cheese" unless you actually use, y'know, elbow macaroni pasta. Rotini doesn't count.

3rd and 4, Forte busts out for a crucial first down to the 18 yard line. No more time outs for Philly now. Another short rush and we're at the two minute warning.

Which is a worse choice of music for NFL commercials:

1) Everyday is Like Sunday - The Smiths

or

2) 32 Flavors - Ani DiFranco (2000) - Gibbon Jockey

I vote for the Smiths, only because I like that band. (Ani DiFranco can go die in a fire.) Both are equally bad in terms of songs to go with sporting events.

The Bears are rushing the ball to kill time, and Maynard is punting. He'll take a time out as the play clock winds out, and we've got 28 seconds left. Jackson gets out of bounds at the 17, and McNabb has 18 seconds left to get 83 yards. McNabb hits Brown, but he's in bounds, and that ends the game.

Your final is 24-20, Bears, and now both teams are 2-2.

Thanks for joining me, and see you next week for Steelers-Jaguars.

Brian Urlacher caught you a delicious bass. (The site I found the pic at describes it as a "King", but of course, I'm gonna use a movie line.)

I have the Eagles winning a low scoring game. There is nothing less exciting than having to watch the Bears offense work. At least when Rex Grossman was under center, you had something to watch for (in the inevitable dumb pick or two per game.)

The Eagles will start at the 20, and Brian Westbrook isn't in today with that bum ankle. McNabb's first is incomplete to the back-up TE (the one who isn't L.J. Smith.) 2nd down means not much, and Danyel Manning sacks Donny Mac on third down. Sav Rocca punts it, bouncing away from Devin Hester at the Chicago 41.

Orton hits Rashied Davis inside the Philly 30, Matt Forte gets seven more on the next play to get within the 20....and Orton rifles it to Greg Olsen for the TOUCHDOWN!

That was Sex Cannon-esque right there.....although they are gonna challenge it....what??? No flag?? I guess so. 7-0, Bears.

WTF?? Where did that offense come from? Is Neckbeard drunk or something? - Rob in WI

Plasma power, son. Plasma power.

Philly brings the ball back to their 28 on the kickoff. After a false start, Correll Buckhalter gets a few yards on first and 15. McNabb fires a bullet to DeSean Jackson. That thing looks like it makes hands hurt. 1st down after a gain of 23. Buckhalter brings out a screen pass past midfield to the Bears' 48. Reggie Brown gets five more after the catch for another 1st.

Sneaky, sneaky, end-around for DeSean Jackson, who sweeps around to the Bears 18. McNabb goes for it over the middle to the TE Schobel (?), who gets walloped by Mike Brown while trying to make the catch. Not much for Buckhalter on 2nd and 10. Donny Mac airs it to Jackson right in the back of the end zone, TOUCHDOWN. Kick by Akers is up and good, 7-7 tie.

Did I say something about this being a defensive game? Not right now, anyway. And that's very sneaky (or cliche) of you, NBC: using Steve Miller's "Fly Like An Eagle."

I'll say this much - love or hate the bears - you gotta admit their defense brings the lumber in the first quarters. Wow those boys can hit.

of course, they don't do much about protecting the endzone, but at least they hit.... - Gibbon Jockey

Sheldon Brown would like to speak up for the Eagles also delivering blistering hits. Twice.





Matt Forte starts with a short rush, and 2nd down will now move back 5 yards. Forte gets 13 of those back and then picks up the first down on the 3rd down carry. The ball's now out at about midfield. A short pass to Hester gets across midfield. Orton misses Forte on the sideline, and here comes the first punt of the game from Brad Maynard. DeSean Jackson is back to receive.

He fair catches at the 20. Jon Runyon gets flagged for the first time in 24 games, which Al and John apologize for jinxing (they mentioned it when they talked to Andy Reid last night.) McNabb hits Jackson for another first down; the next pass is incomplete to Buckhalter. Not much for Buckhalter on the rush, it's 3rd and 10 from the Philly 30. Alex Brown and Israel Idonije get the sack. Rocca punts all the way to the Bears 30; Hester fair catches, but there's a flag.

This looks like the 15-yard variety of roughing the kicker on Charles Tillman -- but there's an illegal formation on Philly, so they offset and they kick again. Hester brings the second punt out to the Bears' 45.

AA, what are the odds of NBC throwing in "Waltzing Matilda" as bumper music after a punt by the Eagles' Aussie punter? I hope they're not THAT cynical. - Jim Williams

We'll be on the lookout for that.

How does a personal foul and illegal formation offset? I thought the PF trumped the other penalty? - Rob in WI

A flag on each team on a play negates the other automatically, regardless of severity.

Forte starts with a rush and the Bears will get 15 extra yards thanks to a face mask. Orton skies one a bit too high for Hester (well, it looks like it went right through his hands.)

That prompts John to say, "Maybe there's a reason he was a corner." 3rd and 11 brings the first Eagles sack of Orton tonight, and Brad Maynard will be punting again. Jackson goes out of bounds at the Philly 12.

"There's Donovan's mom, she came to the hotel last night and made dinner for the whole team." - Al
"I must say, I had some of that meal." - John

(a bit later)

"She didn't make any soup, though, huh?" - Al

Three and out for the Eagles, here comes Rocca. Good coverage by the Eagles keeps Hester from advancing past his own 45. Forte gets two yards; Orton then gets sacked by Chris Gocong. By the way, Al and John, I know Gocong said "Cal Poly San Luis Obispo," but the university freaking hates that.

I heartily encourage all of you in the comments who are bitching about them talking about Mama McNabb and her cooking for way too damn long. There is a football game going on, gentlemen. While the greens and sweet potatoes looked good, there is a game on.

Like say, DeSean Jackson muffing a punt, and the Bears getting it back. (D'OH!) Bears start again at the 24, Forte grabs two yards. Orton just went all PLASMA POWER to Marty Booker, and that's a 23-yard SCORE!!!!

Kick is up and good, 14-7, Bears.

And, the Jekyll and Hyde complex that is Desean Jackson has returned.

Sincerely,
Frustrated Eagles Fan - Jim Williams

Brian Dawkins visited the Roy Williams School of Safety Coverage this week. - Rob in WI

+1.

Demps brings it out to the 33, McNabb incomplete to Reggie Brown. He then goes right back to Brown for a 16 yard gain and 1st down at midfield. Donny Mac must be a fan of UPS -- because Brown can get him another 31 yards on the next play. Touch floater to Buckhalter gets 19 yards, and Philly has a 1st and goal. Buckhalter then busts his way into in for the TOUCHDOWN. Kick up, kick good, 14-all.

American Hi-Fi's "Flavor of the Weak" for a bump -- the frontman used to drum for Veruca Salt, which was based in Chicago, but...not enough of a connection.

Hester brings the kick out to the 20. Orton rolls out and throws it away. He then hits Brandon Lloyd for a 1st down across the 30. Kevin Jones takes the next two carries and gets first down yardage.

3rd and 12 at the 50 -- and Orton gets picked off by Darren Howard, because he was under pressure and held the ball too long. McNabb threw to Brown for 4, but the third down rush by Buckhalter isn't close. Here comes Akers for an FG try...50 yards....up and wide right.

"Juqua Thomas changed his name to Juqua Parker. Tra Thomas changed his name to William Thomas and now back to Tra Thomas. It's a good thing Chad Johnson doesn't play on this team." - Al

Unlike the Bengals, the Eagles actually recognize it when players legally change their names. - JFein

I don't think that was so much the Bengals so much as it was the NFL insisting that Chad Johnson buy all the jerseys Reebok made with his now former last name. Let's just say that I don't think Juqua Parker's name moves a lot of merch.

Forte gets stuffed at the Chicago 40, goes on a screen for five tough yards, and then Orton goes all long bomb to Brandon Lloyd again, deep into Eagles territory -- and then Lloyd tweaks something.

DIE, FRANK CALIENDO, DIE.

Short passes to Jason McKie and Devin Hester follow. Matt Forte's screen pass looks short of the first down, honestly, but here come the sticks -- and that was enough for the first. The next two plays gain a yard total -- and Orton hits Devin Hester down the line, who keeps his feet in bounds for the TOUCHDOWN!!!

Kick up and good, 21-14, Bears.

Jim Williams alerts us to Al's use of "Rappin' Roberto Costas" when describing the upcoming halftime show. I proceed to gag. McNabb hits Jason Avant at the 28 yard line. Reggie Brown drops the 2nd and 5 pass. The 3rd down pass comes up short, and Devin Hester will get another shot at the football before the half. Short kick, ball winds up at the Chicago 37. He hits Forte for a few yards, and spikes it. 3rd down pass is incomplete....wait, they're calling that a fumble? At lesat they're reviewing it, but sheesh.

Of course, it's ruled an incomplete, Maynard punts, and it's downed at the 4 yard line of Philly with one second left. McNabb kneels, and we've got 21-14, Chicago at halftime.

See you in the second half post.

Quite possibly one of my favorite Kyle Orton-related images. Anyway, Philly and its manic blitzing defense is in Chicago tonight, as DA BEARS look to come back from two straight losses.

See you in an hour or so, and have it out on the best and worst of the day so far -- and the rest of the Skins-Boys contest.

I wasn't planning on giving you a rundown of Sunday Countdown today, but ESPN actually has a pretty cool piece on the the "Fog Bowl" airing on the program, so I thought I'd highlight it. They also released it ahead of time, and knowing that a lot of you won't even turn on Countdown because of the talking heads involved, I've decided to post the video here for all of you to enjoy.

If you remember the December 31, 1989 game between the Eagles and Bears or not, it's still worth a viewing. We even get cameos from the play-by-play man, Verne Lundquist, and a players at the time, Mike Golic! Here's the video and the other Countdown segments are below it if you care.

More Pey-Pey to bring us back, as the Colts are down at the half -- to all our surprise, really. The Colts' offense looks stunted right now -- there is some inevitable truism about not getting snaps in the pre-season for Peyton and the first team.

Based on what I've heard on NBC tonight, I'm assuming when Brady goes on IR he'll take over the uniform patch and field adornment from Gene Upshaw. - Anon

I don't care who you are. That's just funny.

You think next week Chris Berman will call Cassle "Matt 'Harold and Kumar go to White Cassle'"? - Anon

Don't give Berman any ideas, although the majority of his references are from the 70s or 80s.

What the fuck was that? Devin Hester caught the kickoff in the end zone, and it looked like he was going to stay in, but then he snuck out and got WHACKED by Melvin Bullet (that is an all-time GREAT NAME, by the way) at the 7. Lovie Smith looks like he's been sucking on a lemon after that move by Hester. A quick three and out follows, and Maynard is going to give the ball to the Colts in good field position.

The Bears are not helping themselves with false starts on the punt.

Punt's brought back to the Indy 47.

"That's the Boogie Burger. You have one, then you go over to the [corporate name] Shopping Center and buy some new pants." - AM
"Two pairs of new pants." - JM

Manning hits Reggie Wayne for a first down in Bears territory, and I've just lost my fantasy match-up this week with Dallas Clark not coming back.

Charles Tillman gets flagged for illegal contact on a bomb Peyton was aiming for Marvin Harrison. 1st and 10 at the Chicago 32.

"If he's angry and he gets fast, this is the time to use [Harrison]." - JM

Can someone translate what the fuck this actually means? I don't think anyone has seen Marvin Harrison emote on the field for his entire career. He is the Gargoyle of wide receivers. Joseph Addai gets a first down and goal for the Colts. Screen to Wayne, bad block by Gonzalez. Manning to Wayne in the back of the end zone, TOUCHDOWN.

Kick is good, 15-13, Bears.

Hester gets run off out of bounds at about the mid-20s on the kickoff. Kevin Jones gets six yards on his carry. and grabs 2 more on the next one. Orton to Olsen for a third down conversion.

A 2nd down pass to Forte gets nine yards, then Forte grabs another first down with a rush.

"There's nothing about Matt Forte that looks like a rookie." - JM

I know what he means, but it still sounds kind of funny. Forte looks like he didn't get that first down on the carry right there -- but, that is a very small piece that got it, and they'll get the chains moving. After a couple of short running plays, Orton loses the ball while dropping back, but recovers -- problem is, they're out of Gould's range now. Punt time on 4th and 6. Fair catch at the 16.

NBC uses Green Day's "Warning" for bump music.

This always amuses me about ads for erection pills: "Don't take [insert pill here] if you aren't healthy enough for sexual activity." If you ever got the diagnosis of not being healthy enough for that, wouldn't you just consider killing yourself at some point? (I don't mean to say you would go through with it, but y'know...)

Anyway, Manning tries a checkdown and it's incomplete on first down.

Peyton, Andrea's waaaaatching yooooooou.....

Manning to Harrison.....but it's a fumble caused by Charles Tillman, and Lance Briggs picks it up and takes it to the house for the TOUCHDOWN.

Dungy's gonna challenge it.

"On a wing and prayer, he throws the flag. Probably a prayer." - AM.

"The biggest problem he has is the stiffness." -Andrea Kramer (via Brian)

(Giggles like a schoolgirl.)

Call stands, for obvious reasons. Harrison had the ball and both feet down; that wasn't even close to being overturned. Gould's kick is up and good, 22-13, Chicago.

No Dane Cook, you may NOT make any more movies! Bad! - jfreak

Worth asking: how do you sell a movie like that to bigwigs? "Oh, we're gonna cast Dane Cook, the Pie guy, and Kate Hudson, who's really still coasting off of the over-rated Almost Famous. Whaddaya think?" "I'll sign off on that!"

On one of my frequent scannings of the cable guide, I found a bizarre little action flick that had Dane Cook starring alongside Dennis Rodman in the late 90s. I can't remember the name of it, and I think you and I are both better off if I don't recall it.

Good return by Indy, but there are flags that mean block in the back. Manning hits Wayne for some yardage.

"He's lettin' the Bears off the hook; he's lettin' em blitz too much." - JM

Could it be that the Bears' defense might be better than Peyton and his O-line, guys? I mean, it can't be that Peyton's not totally 100 percent (although that helps). Give the Bears more credit, guys.

Guys, that was a tough catch. If anything, Peyton kind of overthrew that ball to Marvin. Manning has to call another time out, and they've only got one left with another quarter left to go. Addai converts the 3rd and 1 at the Indy 40, and we're 45 minutes in.

"Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number." I love the Dos Equis ads, although the beer is essentially Mexican Budweiser.

Manning goes deep for Wayne, but he can't land inbounds. Do the Colts have enough patches on their uniforms? With the stadium patch and the Upshaw patch, it's crowded. Peyton's captain's "C" is even higher; he looks like an erstwhile Boy Scout.

Manning hits Wayne at a bit more manageable area. Addai catches the 3rd down play, but is short.

When I imagine Roger Goodell making decisions in his office, I imagine he sounds like John C. McGinley in those Miller Lite ads. "It's funny faux pas, not funny ha-ha." (Why I imagine this is another matter.)

Bears are psyched, as the Colts go for it on 4th and 2 and get stuffed at midfield. Chicago is moving it in Indy territory with some ease, as Orton calls time out on 2nd and 2.

Apparently your Dane Cook/Dennis Rodman flick is called "Simon Sez," from 1999. I'd never heard of it, but it's got a stellar 2.2/10 rating on IMDb, good enough for the 62nd-worst rating of all time! - Jay

MST3K would have had a field day with that movie.

"They have out-physicaled the Colts tonight." - John Madden (via Anon)

From the Department of Made-Up Phrases.

Al referenced his drunken photos and the Neckbeard! Orton then gets Rexy on us on 3rd and 1, hitting Desmond Clark for 36 yards. 1st and goal on the 2.

Fullback Jason McKie piles in for the TOUCHDOWN!

Gould's PAT is good, 29-13, Chicago.

Courtney Roby gets beat up again on the kickoff return. That was a glorious replay of Manning Face that NBC showed before going to break.

I think those patches might be 25th anniversary, not stadium. I cannot say for certain, though. - jfreak

Has it really been 25 years since Irsay's Midnight Move? Wow.

I dont think there is a person in Chicago between the age of 20-27 that doesnt have a drunk Kyle Orton story. - Brian

Wouldn't shock me too much. Drunk Kyle Orton has become an erstwhile sort of legend, one that polite media don't really want to acknowledge too much.

"Key 3rd down for the Colts here." - AM

Really, aren't all third downs key? Essentially, converting those is the key to succeeding in football. Some are more so than others because of timing and being behind, but I have a hard time thinking of a non-key third down play. Anyway, Gonzalez catches the pass, first down. Jacob Tamme, filling in for Clark, gets one. Marvin Harrison gets a couple yards on the short pass -- but, ineligible man downfield on the Colts.

Two uses of "erstwhile" tonight? You are one erudite fucker. - Jay

I like my $10 words. Alex Brown takes Manning down for the sack.

Forgive my ignorance, but what does the Neckbeard refernce mean ? - JG

Please observe the photo below in the first half thread and Deadspin's Kyle Orton category.

Fourth down, and the Colts are probably going for it -- incomplete pass, and the Bears get it back and will look to ice this one.

"Orton with efficient numbers...."- AM. Translation: less than spectacular passing yardage, only one TD pass (right, or does he even have a TD pass?), basically, has not fucked it up for the Bears.

Oh goody, the graphic bar at the bottom is back after a short hiatus!

The Colts need a priceless pep talk. - SSReporters

"Alex Brown came from the backside of Peyton Manning." -JM (via Anon)

I'm laughing like the 12-year old that I really am. We can safely say this game is over as the Bears try to run out the clock, and question whether the Neckbeard is truly the One True Quarterback for the Bears or if the Colts just played really flat.

And the Colts are going to run it out with some meaningless plays, as the AFC South -- which I think is the best division in the conference -- has three of its four teams lose today. Tennessee is the only team in the division to win (well, by beating a division rival.)

Anyway, it's gonna wrap up 29-13, Chicago. Thanks for sticking around, and I'll see you next week for Steelers-Browns. Drop by Signal to Noise some time, won't you?

Like I would start this live-blog without a picture of Kyle Orton drunk. That's just how we roll. Got it? You may also start your Peyton Puffery meter from Al and John now; we will go with an over/under of 12 obvious on-air BJs. I will also be praising the elder Manning if he makes a habit of throwing it to Dallas Clark tonight, say, on the order of two or three touchdowns, because I'm 20+ down to The Starter Wife in the Channel 4 News League.

You know how this works. I take the best of your comments and post them throughout.

The NBC desk is now HUGE. It's still not big enough to fit all four of those egos up there. Not that I don't like Patrick, Olbermann, and Collinsworth, but it's too damn much. (Bob Costas can go somewhere cramped and smelly as far as I'm concerned.)

Faith Hill's grown on me as far as a theme. Dumb and cheesy, but a better dumb and cheesy than the other networks.

John's inflated a little over the offseason -- he looks weightier than he does in the Madden ads where he's ridiculing video gamers who throw Hail Marys on 4th down.

The Sunday Night Football Cookbook? Um, no. I'm sure some of us out there can make better recipes on our own or know someone who can. But, if someone buys it, let us know if there's a turducken recipe in it.

Do we really care if Danica Patrick finished 10th in some Indy race?

Robbie Gould kicks off to Courtney Roby, who bobbles and then gets it to the 30 for a start. Here comes Pey-Pey. Incomplete dump-off to Robinson on first down. Pitch to Joseph Addai, hits the outside for 5 yards. Lance Briggs already knocked up and on the sideline. Peyton to Anthony Gonzalez for a first down.

Addai gets whacked while rushing on the next first down, loses three. 2nd down pass gets knocked down. 3rd and 13, and Gonzalez should have caught that. Punt team coming on, and I don't believe Dungy is dumb, so he's not gonna kick to Devin Hester -- wait, what? Hester got tripped up at the 30, thankfully, as Hunter Smith kind of botched the kick order.

"They can either come in that position..." - John Madden (via Gangsta D)

That's just nasty. Here comes the Neckbeard...and it's a botched play with a false start. Your 2008 Chicago Bears. Excuse me, an illegal snap. Matt Forte gets 2 yards, then six more on the 2nd down play. 3rd and 8 results in a deflection, and we get a three and out. We'll probably be seeing a lot of that from the Bears' offense.

Maynard's punt bounces all the way to the Indy 19.

Bud Light Lime: If the shitty taste wasn't bad enough for you, we're going to mask it up with artificial lime flavor! Addai goes for 4 yards on 1st. Manning tosses to Marvin Harrison near the sideline for a first down, and goes back to Marvin once again across midfield.

Addai for a couple more, and Madden talked about possible problems with Peyton's footwork. I trust John did not see his acting work; he's got good moves. Manning hails one up to Dallas Clark, and we're gonna get a PI flag or a roughing the passer flag -- it's roughing on Urlacher, and I hate calls that are that close. If you're going to call that a split-second after the QB throws, put the quarterbacks in red "no contact" jerseys or a dress.

Manning goes to Gonzalez on the next play and it's another first. After an incompletion, Addai goes around to the left side and grabs about 12 for a first and goal. Manning doesn't like the set-up, and he calls time out. Tommie Harris comes up and stuffs Addai for a five-yard loss.

"If the Colts can get their running game going with Peyton Manning and the passing game, they are just about unbeatable." - John Madden (via SSReporters)

This is what passes for analysis these days. Fascinating, huh? And Peyton has to blow yet another time out. He's out of rhythm with his line. 3rd and goal turns into even more difficult, as they get called for a false start and are now at the 16.

OK, now this is really bad. The Colts do not get called for delay of game. EVER. The third down pass is incomplete, and Adam Vinatieri is coming on to kick a field goal.

Kick is good, 3-0, Colts -- but that's not looking good if Indy's gonna play like that.

If you'd like a short game break and would like some schadenfreude, here's video of that Tom Brady hit from earlier today:



Ouch.

Andrea Kremer tells us about Lucas Oil Stadium's retractable roof, and I can only think about the millions it cost and how much of it is taxpayer-funded. The kickoff is handled by a non-Hester, since it's a squibber, and the Bears start at about the 30. Orton's 2nd down pass gets tipped, and while John and Al are talking about Orton somehow getting a starting job again -- oh, shit....Matt Forte just busted it 50 yards for the touchdown! Nice run.

Gould's kick is good, 7-3, Bears.

Courtney Roby flubs the kickoff, but the ref says he was down on the kickoff. Can Lovie Smith review that or is that just a ref's judgment call? Apparently you can, and Smith is going to.

No Andrea Kramer, you are not allowed to call my beautiful new stadium, "the Luke." Get out of my sight. - jfreak

Aw, you know every media member has to come up with a catchy name for a stadium!

Tony Romo gives the dumbest smile ever at the end of that Lemon Pepsi commercial. Why can't they show Brian Dawkins hitting him hard at the end?

Romo may have doubled his size but his dick remains as tiny as the pepsi bottle. - Anon

+1, sir.

The play stands as called. Manning to Clark for 7 or 8 due to poor tackling by the Bears. Addai stretches for a first down. Next pass is too high for Reggie Wayne. Wayne took a hit from Charles Tillman trying to catch the third down pass, and Hunter Smith will be on his way out again.

Punt is downed by the Colts at their own 17.

Referring to the graphic about leading passer, rusher, and receiver -- when all three of them kind of suck (save Berrian, but who would throw to him?), you can't blame an organization for getting rid of them. Forte gets 9 yards on the carry and you might have the right to start asking questions early about the Colts' defense. Usually Bob Sanders is there and able to help with run stuffing.

Orton to Hester for eight or nine, and one more tackle missed and he'd have been free for 20. Forte busts through for six or seven and a first -- and Bob Sanders pretty much saved a touchdown. First quarter's over.

Is Neckbeard going to complete pass in the first half? Odds? - Anon

Anon, already done, and he's smart if he's just going to go for checkdown-type stuff. No reason to pull a Sex Cannon if Forte's gonna run like that all night. Orton to Rashied Davis.

And John and Al are already onto the Brady injury -- rumors that they're going to bring in Chris Simms for a tryout. Opinions on this? Anyone's better than Matt Cassel, obviously.

A draw fails on 3rd and 5, and Maynard kicks it away, it's fair caught at the 18. Dishwalla's "Counting Blue Cars" for the bump? Are they from that area? I've not heard that song in a long, long time (and that may be a good thing.)

Regarding Brady's Knee:

Yahoo! Sports and PFT are saying the ACL is torn, and Adam SChefter of NFLN reported around 8:30 that the MCL is torn also.

Just passing along the info. - JG

That's painful. How many of you just got screwed in your fantasy league because of Brady's injury?

You still have Favra's dick to suck Madden, don't be too downtrodden. - jfreak

You think Madden's out of sorts? Peter King is crying in the corner of the studio right now. Manning hits Wayne for 18 yards and a first. Crap, crap, crap -- Dallas Clark is out with an injury; Manning hits Harrison in Bears territory. Gonzalez catches a pass and gets nice yardage post-catch by spinning towards the sideline.

Reunite the Culpepper & Moss! - Anon

I am so in favor of this, you have no idea. Manning hurls one to Wayne, but he can't quite lay out for it in the end zone. Peyton gets another pass tipped. 3rd and 10 is a swingout to Dominic Rhodes, but that's going to be short, and here comes Vinatieri again.

Dr. John Madden, evaluating just how much weight Peyton's lost.

FG kick is good, 7-6, Bears.

"That suit not fitting him the way it normally would, see him walking out..."- AM
"I've known Peyton Manning for a long time, and that's not the confident Peyton we're used to seeing." - JM

Danyel Manning brings the kickoff up to the 34. Forte up to the 37. Now, could you imagine if Chicago actually invested in a decent quarterback with their field position average, since no one wants to kick to Hester, they wind up being the benefit of squibs? Hell, they might actually get back to the Super Bowl. But, the Halas family is ridiculously cheap.

Bob Sanders just smacked up Forte and he's sitting on the sidelines. Time out, Chicago.

Think the Manning parents rode out on the Madden Cruiser ? - JG

Not high class enough for Archie and Olivia. Besides, Madden probably never shuts up. He's that dude you remember from the road trips you took during college who got baked in the backseat, ate all the time, and never, ever shut up. Had to talk about something all the time.

Clearly Manning is distracted with his important doubles match against the Williams brothers in the oreo cookie league of double stuffed whatever. - SSReporters

Hah!

"That's [Forte's] welcome to the NFL moment, huh?" - AM

Orton throws into double coverage for Desmond Clark while getting hit. Oddly Rexy of him.

It seems wrong that Dwight Freeney is rocking a Yankees hat in his profile picture. Not because of the team, but because he's wearing a hat. I didn't think that was allowed, but I'm not gonna be the guy to tell Dwight Freeney he can't wear a cap.

I would fire an RPG at Frank Caliendo through my TV if I could. Clark on the bike, Hayden poked in the eye, and Orton hits Clark over the middle for 19.

"This crowd has not been a problem for the Bears offense." - AM

The Colts' staff forgot to move the crowd noise tapes when they moved stuff out of the RCA Dome.

Kelvin Hayden should have had that pick. That was a high, rushed throw by Orton (thanks to Freeney), and that was a turnover waiting to happen. 3rd and 13.

Kyle Orton scampering downfield for yardage is really not a pretty thing to watch, and neither was the hit. Robbie Gould from 41 yards is good. 10-6, Chicago.

"It makes the RCA Dome look like a pimple!" - AM, on Lucas Oil Stadium

Gould kicks off to Roby, who gets out to the 21 -- but it's coming back, flags on kickoffs are almost always on the receiving team. Block in the back, Manning will start at his own 11. Marcus Harrison just put Peyton on the ground back at the 1 yard line. Handoff to the RB -- and Ogunleye tackles him in the end zone for a SAFETY. 12-6, Chicago.

Indy's challenging it, but I'm with our boys in the booth -- this didn't get out far enough. Call stands, and the Colts will punt it back to the Bears. Hester picks it up and takes it out to the 38. Offensive holding drives 'em back to the 28. 1st and 20 for Forte ain't much -- but Orton hits Brandon Lloyd to move the sticks. (Yes, that Brandon Lloyd, the one whom Redskins fans cannot say the name of without adding a choice swear word in the middle somewhere.)

Two minute warning is here.

Madden : You cant tell its a stadium from the outside.

Except for the giant lettering on the outside saying it is. Al and John must have hit happy hour before the game. - JG

Any reports of Brent Musberger tailing along for that one?

The Bears get a first down from an encroachment penalty, then Orton gets about 600 pounds of muscle falling on him as he's sacked. Forte cracks the 100 yard mark with that three yard gain.

Orton hits Greg Olsen on third and 15, and now using that last time out looks really bad, because they're forced to kick for the points rather than take a shot at the end zone. 25-yarder for Gould, and it's good. 15-6, Bears, and that's the half. Shoot the shit about the halftime show in the comments, and I'll be back in a few with our second half post.

Hiya, everyone. S2N here, back with you for another wonderful NFL season. Consider this your pre-game open thread for the pre-game show (now with Dan Patrick!) and feel free to add your gripes about the day in play.

See you in an hour when kickoff starts. I'm gonna get re-adjusted to using Blogger again.

Just got this sent to me, and I can't begin to describe how weird yet ultimately humorous this new Fat Head commercial is. Let's go through our checklist..

1) Weird dude talking in mysterious voice? Check.
2) A Bear? Check.
3) Some guys in lab coats? Check.

Okay we're good....

Wait, Wait, Wait.....didn't we need that bear to breath fire? Oh, it does??? Check.

The fact that this video is 5 minutes long alone should tell you how amazing Devin Hester is at one of the most difficult and scary jobs in Sports. Lovie Smith is an idiot if he doesn't play him at Wide Receiver, or even Running Back more.

We're starting with a three point game now, as the Pack have had four turnovers through the first three quarters -- and Brian Griese has not thrown any picks.

3rd and 9 now after Griese lets one fly, and I think John Madden has developed a boner for Greg Olsen right now. Why the hell did they rush on 3rd and 9? I know this is a tie if Gould hits it, but still, give it one good shot. Gould's 36 yarder is good, and it's 20-all.

I understand not wanting to throw a pick, but that shows a serious lack of brass ones.

The Gunslinger will start deep in his own territory due to holding on the kickoff. The Bears' defense is now stuffing the running game that worked so well earlier for Green Bay. DeShawn Wynn is getting nothing, and the Bears force a three and out.

The punt coverage team just destroys Hester, but the officials tack on five yards at the end for a GB player going out of bounds on coverage -- which I was not aware was a penalty. So, the Bears will have it at midfield.

Who unfroze Brett for that picture? How does one get a chin on their forehead? - twoeightnine
You're right 289, he could play a one of the Caveman's kids on that awful sitcom. - meatwad

I've been meaning to go off on ABC execs for that stupid sitcom, but I haven't live-blogged an ESPN/ABC sporting event where I would be subject to it for a while. All I'll say is that if you don't want me to watch something, promote it as a "Man Date" like ABC promotes Cavemen and Carpoolers.

Garrett Wolfe is short of the first on the screen pass, but Green Bay gives Chicago a first down on a 15-yard face mask. Ah, that's the Brian Griese I know and hated in Denver: he throws a pass that gets tipped and picked by Nick Puppinga.

no work tomorrow = have another beer...ah the joys of working at a golf course...wow benson got more than his usual 2 yard fall forward...anyone think the score would be 20-20 w/ grossman in at QB? - Noce

No, you'd be losing by 30-13 or so, but at least you'd be able to accept the loss rather than watch Son of Griese break your heart with a late pick or an inability to handle the 4th quarter drive.

"And he just underhands it about 30 yards. Only Brett." - AM
"And you say, 'what can't he do any more?' Only that." - JM, referring to his scrambling.

The Packers are regressing before our eyes in this half. Madden is crying out for the Gunslinger to come back and throw it deep, and throw something else deep into him. Morency gets another few yards, and the Packers suffer another 3-and-out.

Hester gets a good return, but it's negated by a hold on the coverage team on the punt. Bears go back to their own 47 instead of having the ball on the Green Bay 35. Is Cedric Benson capable of rushing for more than 3 yards? I know he did it earlier in the game, but I wonder if I was hallucinating it. And Kabeer Ghaja-Biamila pile drives Griese into the ground on third down for the sack.

I know it's just his initials, but "KGB" has to be one of the coolest nicknames for a D-lineman ever.

Brett Favre has made as many dumb throws in his career as he has smart throws. Yet every laughs and ignores it. It's just Brett being Brett. - Hugging Harold Reynolds

BUT HE'S A GUNSLINGER! Don't you understand, man???

PUT IN ORTON!! At least a Jim Beam hangover gives him an excuse!! - meatwad

And possibly an advantage. Wynn gets smashed up on another carry again, and there's a flag for offensive holding. Eventually Favre will have to throw it deep if the Packers will even bother to get a first down. Would someone at NBC go upstairs and fix Madden? His brain is looping on the same points again. The Gunslinger gets it to James Jones on 2nd down. It's dropped by James Jones, but Favre was rushed by the Chicago defense. Here comes another punt, and Hester only gets back to the 20 this time.

"I would just put it in Brett Favre's Hands" John Madden.

I bet you would John.....I bet you would - Hugging Harold Reynolds

Eeeewwww.

Oh, and they have to mention Ron Turner (O-coordinator) talking to his brother Norv....who beat the pants off my Broncos today...I need another drink. Griese throws a good pass and Olsen hauls it in. Benson rushes it for more than 2 yards -- he gets six on the carry, but then regresses on the next carry. 25 carries for only 56 yards. Boy, is that a lot of suck. Not Purple Jesus barrels through for what appears to be a first down. Green Bay is challenging the spot, and the challenge is successful -- now to see if the spot is actually a 1st or not now.

"That's why [Lovie Smith's] eyes are so big. I've had to make that decision before." - JM. Al then sucks in his breath like he's got something at stake. Chicago gets that first down, and they're gonna keep driving and blowing clock for a field goal, it looks like. Benson runs it down more, but doesn't get a 1st down.

Wait, how did McCarthy lose a timeout if he got the officials to move the chains back? Chicago didn't get a first down, but the spot was changed. Am I missing something?

I hope Madden starts doing a Frank Caliendo impersonation - HHR

Does Frank Caliendo even have a normal voice? If you impersonate someone enough, are you stuck using that voice, like your parents would tell you that if you made a face often enough, it would stay that way?

Griese throws it over the middle to Des Clark, who heads right into the end zone for six. Who knew Brian could lead a fourth quarter drive? Incredible. 27-20, Bears, after Gould's extra point.

Oh good, Al finally realizes he fucked up, and that Green Bay should probably have two time outs left. Here comes the super slobber, as Brett Favre is set for yet Another Fourth Quarter Comeback by a Legend, when we return!

"Tonight, Brian Griese didn't beat himself." - JM. The exception to the rule, John; the exception to the rule. Packers are up to their own 32 -- and apparently they did lose that time out because they challenged that it was a first down, so one T.O. left. Nearly picked by Charles Tillman on that last pass -- would have cemented his "star of the game" status. And this is some awful play calling by going over the middle all the time. They're nowhere close to the end zone right now.

James Jones drops one, and now it's end zone or bust territory for the Packers -- and Brandon McGowan picks it in the end zone for a touchback! And that means Favre ties George Blanda's INT record with 277, as Griese takes a knee.

Bears win 27-20, and their season is still alive. Thanks for joining me this week, and I'll see you next week for Saints-Seahawks. Come by Signal to Noise some time, you hear?