Colts start at the 26. Manning hits Reggie Wayne for 31, airing it out on the right side to start. All the way up to the Chargers' 43. The next pass goes to Addai for nine yards, and Addai gets stopped for a loss on a 3rd and not much. 4th and 1....going for it...and Peyton throws incomplete. Big, big stop.

Sponge on the break. I haven't heard "Wax Ecstatic" in years, and we get that over Manning Face.

Wow. That was an Andy Reid Moment. - Mal

"My hair says ENERGY!"

Sproles gets stuffed, but takes it for a few yards on the next pass from Rivers. 3rd down rifle to Chambers for the first down, despite the pass interference on the Colts. Sproles rushes for some more, 3rd and 2 is incomplete for Chambers. Fair catch of the punt at the Indy 9.

Manning starts out with a short slant to Marvin Harrison. Addai gets the first down at the 23. He goes deep for Wayne, but Cromartie has him covered. 2nd down after an encroachment, incomplete.

Manning catches the Chargers' defense not even set -- hikes the ball, and hits Reggie Wayne right in stride. TOUCHDOWN, COLTS! 17-14 after the kick. "You Dropped A Bomb On Me," indeed. Just made the entire 11 look silly.

Chargers start on the 20 after Sproles takes a knee on the kick. Six-yard pass to the fullback, Jacob Hester.

Did anyone else notice Norv is wearing glasses now? Like it makes him look any smarter. Acrobatic catch by Chambers on a classic floater back foot throw by Rivers.

"He can't run a lick, but he can move enough just to keep the play alive." - John

At about midfield, and Sproles gets back to the line of scrimmage. The next carry gets him past the first down marker and at the 40. Michael Bennett is in for Sproles, and he barrels through for another first down within the 30. 2nd and 10. Rivers rifles it to Leagdu Naane at the 10. First and goal, nowhere to go for Darren. Sproles gets the next pass, tries to get into the end zone, and the ball is loose in the back of the end zone -- TOUCHBACK, fumble recovered by the Colts!

This Geico ad is now officially getting on my fucking nerves. Cromartie drops a sure pick. He wants that one back right now bad. 3rd down pass is also nearly picked, too. Sproles brings the punt return out to the 45, with a break of Steppenwolf. Sproles gets 9 yards on the carry, going to the Indy 47.

"I love it when they say, 'running backs who try to get small.' He doesn't have to try." - Al on Sproles. Freeney gets his second sack of the night. (MORE, MORE, MORE!!!!) Rivers, on 3rd and 13, rushes 12 yards of those 13 on his own. 4th and 1....Rivers sneaks....and he's got the 1st at the 33 after they measure it.

Rivers aims deep for Chambers in the end zone.....and it's picked off by Antoine Bethea, who runs it out, but there's a chop block by an Indy defender. Peyton will have the ball again.

Got to love Phillip Rivers going Favre with that pass. - 49er16

But he's having a lot of fun out there! Colts start at the 20, swing out to Clark, but there's a tripping call for 10 yards, and that'll be moved back. Goes back to Clark for four yards. Manning slings it to Wayne at the 31 for a first down. Addai grabs four yards. Another first down to Dallas Clark.

Norv looks like my high school principal with the glasses.

Rhodes shoves his way in with his shoulder for a first down in Chargers' territory on 3rd and 2. Cason nearly comes up with the pick on 1st and 10, but it hit the ground first. Manning rolls out, throws it away, and there's a holding penalty. 2nd and 20 gets nothing on the Addai carry. Chargers' D holds as Manning throws incomplete, and the penalty for holding is declined.

Bolts start at the 27 after the punt goes out of bounds. Sproles gets 17 after the catch on the pass out from Rivers. Sproles up to the 49 on the next carry. Another Rex Grossman-style pass from Rivers, and he's lucky that didn't get picked like the last one. Pass out to Bennett, and it's marked just slightly short of the first down....what, really. That's a first down, apparently.

Rivers aims downfield for Naane, and he underthrows him just slightly with double coverage. And down goes Rivers on 3rd down, Robert Mathis gets his second of the day.

That was ingenious Golden Globes advertising, NBC. I'd watch Salma Hayek's Golden Globes in HD.

Scifres punts it again in great field position. Colts start at their own 2, and we get "The Final Countdown."

Addai rushes for six to get out of the end zone. Next carry isn't much. 3rd and 2. Rush on....and DOWN GOES PEYTON AT THE ONE YARD LINE!

Sproles takes a very good punt back to the Colts' 36. Rivers hits Gates for a first down. Another first down to Gates at the 21. Rivers rolls out, can't find anyone, throws it away. Sproles rushes, gets it inside the 10, but short of the first. Colts' time out. Kaeding's on the field. Field goal is up and good, 17-all.

Colts start at the 19 after the kickoff. Short pass to Addai, and they're playing for OT, it looks like. Jyles Tucker is down. Indy gets an extra time out thanks to the injury, because SD is out of them. Manning throws out to Addai again, and the Colts burn another TO. Incomplete, and a kneel, we go to OT. Bolts win the toss.

Sproles brings the kick out to the 25. Raheem Brock is there to stuff him on the first down carry. Rivers throws it away after rolling out on 2nd down. Short out to Sproles -- and he gets past the first down marker on 3rd and 11. Bennett comes in for six yards and the rush. Sproles gets nailed in the backfield, and there's a flag for holding on Indy, for an automatic first down.

Sproles to midfield with 2 yards. Rivers to Gates, who drags tacklers with him for the first down. He loses the ball, but falls right on it. Mathis bull-rushes Rivers and he throws it at the feet of Hester to avoid grounding. 3rd and 8...Chambers on the outside against Jennings, and they call defensive holding. Another automatic first down. And another first down on a Sproles carry, they've called a face mask!

Mighty Mite gets nailed at the 24, loses a couple of yards. Sproles takes the carry, goes outside....AND RUNS ALL THE WAY IN FOR THE TOUCHDOWN! CHARGERS WIN, 23-17! Sproles had more than 300 yards on the day, but none more important than those last 24.

Thanks for joining me tonight. See y'all tomorrow!

Well, I was blatantly wrong in the early game. Let's see if I'm any better this time around.

LDT on the bike: pedalpedalpedalpedalpedalpedalpedal

Darren Sproles takes it out to the 22. LDT can make a cut, I guess. 13 yard gain to start. Two more for LDT, and a throw to Gates for six. 3rd and 2. Robert Mathis then nails Philip Rivers for the first sack, and it's three and out. Punt fair caught at the 9 yard line.

Manning to Harrison right off the bat for eight. Addai gets stuffed on his first carry. Another third down conversion for the Colts, as Manning hits the receiver. He throws it away on first down after Eric Weddle rushes him. Tony Ugoh gets flagged for five. Manning aims deep for Harrison, but it's getting called for PI on Quentin Jammer. First down. Addai gets two in SD territory.

You never want to hear the ref crew being the one that calls the most flags. EVER.

Manning misses Wayne, as the wideout looks the wrong way on the pass after getting Antonio Cromartie looking foolish. Reggie Wayne drops the third down pass, and the Colts will punt. Hunter Smith's kick goes into the end zone.

3rd and 10 after an incomplete pass and Darren Sproles getting nothing. Rivers' 3rd down pass to Gates winds up short of the first down. Scifres punts it 58 yards, with barely a return. Indy starts inside the 20 again.

LT (singing in his head): I love to ride my bicycle. I love to ride my bike. Biiii-cycle. Biiii-cycle. - Mal

Ha. Manning to Dallas Clark for three on a 1st and 15 after a false start. He hits Anthony Gonzalez for six at the 24.

"They also thought he knew the daily double at Del Mar." - Al, as Manning hits Wayne on the screen pass to the 33. Manning to Clark again for another first down. Peyton then goes back to Gonzalez for 36, as he weaves and bobs after the catch. "Looked like a video game," according to Al. Surprised he didn't crack a Madden joke. Gonzalez goes airborne and brings it down at the 3 yard line in double coverage.

Addai can't burrow in on first and goal. Addai on the inside handoff, and it's a TOUCHDOWN, COLTS. Viniateri's kick is good, 7-0, Indy.

Sproles got wailed on at the 25. Rivers to Gates for 6, followed by a five yarder for ineligible downfield. Rivers is hit by Dwight Freeney as he throws to Sproles. 3rd and 9, Sproles gets 13 after the inside handoff and sneaks between the tackles.

"Final minute of the opening stanza." - Al. THIS IS NOT POETRY, THIS IS FOOTBALL.

Sproles gets a couple, but Rivers is incomplete on 3rd and 3. Fits and starts for the Bolts right now, and no passes to either Chris Chambers or Vincent Jackson. Indy gets backed up to its own 3 on the punt. End of the first.

Manning Family shot to start the second. (crosses off list). Short runs and a pass is stopped short of the first down by Antoine Cason. Colts punt out of their own end zone...and it'll get even tougher as Indy gets a delay of game call. Sproles takes the punt back to the 43 yard line of the Colts.

Did Dungy have a Norv face? - James Craven

No. Dungy's facial expression never changes. He's Art Shell, but, y'know, like, successful. (Well, Art Shell 1.0 did fine.)

Everytime they show the charger girls I wonder if the tires on my car are over-inflated. - Mal

Rivers hits Gates again for eight yeards after a rollout. LT gets three to the 33 yard line and a chain movement. Gates again, getting major yards after catch and nailing a first and goal at the 3 yard line. LT busts through an easy hole, TOUCHDOWN, CHARGERS. Nate Kaeding's kick is good, 7-7.

There are no Wendy's within 20 minutes of me. I am tired of seeing their ads now, with that in mind. If you need a diversion, here are the Charger Girls for your perusal.

s2n - "LT busts through an easy hole"???? I didn't know Lindsay Lohan was at the game. - Mal

1,000 cocktails, sir. Colts start at their own 33, and Gonzalez lays out for a very nice catch for 21 yards on first down. Addai, nothing doing on 1st down, but gets nine yards on a pass from Peyton on the next play. End around to Clark for the first down -- AWESOME PLAY CALL. You never run that to the TE, ever. Unless when your DE is Clark; maybe Jason Witten could do that. Gates could do that too. Manning throws it away, sensing a defender coming.

"When you brush away the hair, you know it's not the way it's supposed to be." - John, as if you can get anything nice with helmet hair. 3rd and 10 pass to Clark is short by five yards, Viniateri comes on for a 40+ yard FG try. Up and good, 10-7, Colts.

"[Manning] will get a Vitalis ad out of this." - Al on Peyton Samson's hairdo (via James Craven)

Darren Sproles gets up-ended on the return after bringing it out to the 32. Dwight Freeney violates Rivers' back side for a sack on 2nd down. (MORE, MORE, MORE, COLTS. Hit him in his punk face.) Rivers throws his first non-Gates completion to Sproles, but it's 4th and 11.

MIKE SCIFRES JUST BOOTED ONE 67. Holy shit, that's impressive. Colts start on the 7. 3 for Dominic Rhodes. Wayne bobbles one and doesn't come down with it until he's out of bounds, but Tony Dungy is challenging. This is not gonna be overturned.

Norv just gave a "whew" face after that call stood. 3rd down and some audiblizing on both sides results in a checkdown play, picked up by linebacker Stephen Cooper. Hunter Smith will punt from his end zone again. The punt bounces back to the Indy 45. Sproles rushes for 11 up to the 34. Rivers throws a rope to the sideline, which Chris Chambers reels in and is called a catch. Looked kind of OB to me.

S2N letting out his Bronco fandom with the Rivers hatred - JG

Naturally. Rivers snaps one over the 10 to Chambers for a first and goal. Handoff to Sproles, has a guy grabbing at his leg, and gets right into the end zone! Kaeding's kick is good, 14-10, Chargers.

Sproles made the "money" gesture with his fingers, too. Kickoff, bringing it back out, and there's a FUMBLE!!!! Chargers recover! Wait --- they ruled him down, but this can be reviewed, and SD called a time out.

Ooh, I thought that was a fumble, guys....I don't know about that. Manning nearly picked off by Eric Weddle. Rush to Addai. Bolts' timeout. Addai picks up the first down. Incomplete for Gonzalez at midfield. Addai ends the half with a rush. 14-10, Chargers.

So long, RCA Dome.

(This has been your your entertaining, mid-day diversion of Stuff Getting Blown Up.)

RCA Dome: 24 years, 25 seconds [Indianapolis Star]

That's Welker at some sort of karaoke event and fundraiser.

Ellis Hobbs brings it out to the 25 or so. Cassel hits Benjamin Watson for nine yards to start. The Law Firm gets another nine out to the 45. The more Al mentions the Pats not being flagged yet, the more likely it is to happen. Cassel throws a screen to Moss and is brought down by Bob Sanders in the open field. Cassel runs for the first on 3rd and 7 and gets it, almost hitting the ump in his exuberance.

A flag gets thrown, but picked up, and we get a repeat of Cassel nearly punching the ump. Coach Hobo is challenging Indy, saying they had 12 men on the field -- which is likely what that flag might have been.

If my Budweiser was always perfect, it wouldn't taste as bad as it does. Seriously, the only time I buy Bud is at a bar I frequent where it's $2 for a draft mug. Belichick loses his challenge. Cassel has to scramble when everyone is covered, and Rahim Brock just levels him.

"Brock storms the Cassel. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it." - Al

Cassel then hits Moss on the sideline for a first down at the Colts' 31. On the next third down, Cassel goes to Welker, who gets up to the 19. Pre-snap whistle is the Pats' first penalty in more than six quarters, a false start on Nick Kaczur. Cassel goes back to Welker, who gets to the 17 on 1st and 15. Pats call time out #2.

Faulk busts through the middle for a first down and goal at about the 8 or 9. Cassel to Thomas at the six.

"Tyjuan Hagler, hitting him like Marvelous Marvin Hagler." - Al

The Law Firm takes it on the handoff and rushes six yards in for the score. Coach Hobo decides to go for two, and Faulk comes up short of the goal line. Patriots take their first lead, 12-7. I have a hunch that the Hoodie wants to challenge that, but doesn't want to risk his last time out after his ill-advised challenge earlier.

Garcon returns it out to the Indy 43, giving Peyton some good field position. Manning hits Clark at the NE 40. Addai then rushes to the 35. 2nd down pass is short to Gonzalez. 3rd down is right to Wayne for a first down and he is whacked by Brandon Meriweather. Addai picks up 2, up to the 22. Wayne works his way inside of Hobbs, and Manning hits him at the 8 yard line. First and goal. Addai gets hit in the backfield.

2nd down pass is incomplete, as Harrison runs into Deltha O'Neal. 3rd down is a pass to Anthony Gonzalez in the end zone that looks damn close to the first one, and it's a score. Indy's gonna try a 2-point of their own. Manning runs right, and throws across to the back of the end zone to Reggie Wayne, and the conversion is good. Indy up 15-12.

"You put a bowl of candy corn in front of [Bill Belichick], and he'll eat the whole thing!" - John

Ew. Of course Coach Hobo likes candy corn. God, that stuff's awful. Moss gets a first down past the NE 30 after a catch. Kevin Faulk runs for 15 out to midfield. Cassel throws the next one out of bounds, the closest person was in a blue jersey. Faulk catches another one a yard shy of the first down marker at the Indy 41. Cassel sneaks for the first to the 39.

Cassel airs it out on first down to Jabar Gaffney -- fabulous choice, good read -- and Gaffney drops a sure touchdown. Yikes. Draw play to Faulk for about 3 or 4.

I trust you all are just as tired of political ads as I am. Here in California, it's worse -- even though we're nowhere near a swing state, there are plenty of ads for the 12 statewide propositions on the ballot, plus the numerous state reps and senators. Yeesh.

Cassel hits Moss on on 3rd and 8, to keep the drive moving. Faulk runs inside to the 20. The 2nd and 4 pass goes to Watson, who gets a first down at the 17. Cassel throws incomplete to the Law Firm. The next play finds Welker tackled behind the line of scrimmage. Cassel is complete to Welker on 3rd and 11, a yard short of the marker inside the 10. Coach Hobo's going for it -- and he rushes on to use NE's last time out.

Belichick used it because he wanted to kick a field goal instead, and Gostowski's FG is good; we've got a 15-all tie.

That looked to me like Cassel got the first down after the Hoodie called the timeout. Wow...now they know how the Ravens felt last year. - JFein

Seriously, I think Cassel would have gotten that one too. I'm not sure the NE defense can stop the Colts' O right now, so at least getting a tie seems like the smart move right now. Garcon brings it out inside the 20. Manning hits Dallas Clark, who breaks a tackle and gets out to the 38. Addai gets one yard. Next pass to Clark is incomplete; Jerod Mayo was all over him.

Manning hits Gonzalez for 24 over the middle, and he's in NE territory at the 38. Addai gets 4, but then gets stuffed up on the next play.

Hey, this game's been so good as of late that neither Al nor John have talked about Tom Brady too much. My count is at three mentions. Peyton's incomplete on 3rd and 6 to Wayne, and Vinatieri comes in to kick a 52 yard FG -- it's good, pending the flag, and it's on the Pats. So, the kick is good, and it's 18-15, Colts.

Oh God, a Jeremiah Wright commercial. - JFein

Good, I wasn't the only one who saw that. I'm not gonna go any further than that.

Ellis Hobbs runs the kickoff back to the 19, as John rants on about Vinatieri's clutchness, making him sound like the football version of David Eckstein. (I know Adam's kicks legitimately won a few Super Bowls, but bear with me.)

Two straight passes bring it up to the Pat 38. Cassel then buzzes one to David Thomas at the Indy 41 for another first down. Faulk busts through for eight more. Law Firm grabs one trying to bounce outside, but there's a flag -- and it's a personal foul call on the Pats' David Thomas. Can we see a replay? Couldn't see a thing on it -- and now it's 3rd and 16 at the Indy 45. Faulk gets taken down at the 40.

Coach Hobo looks like he could kill David Thomas right now. They're going for it -- and Bob Sanders picks off Cassel on the attempt.

And Thomas is going to feel the Hoodie's wrath after the game. Now, New England can't stop the clock as the Colts move downfield. Rhodes rumbles to the 46, and we're close to the 2 minute warning. Addai gets a yard.

Holy crap, this has to be the quickest SNF game in history. - SSReporters

When you have very few penalties and a lot of running plays and passes that wind up in bounds (also, few incompletions), that helps, doesn't it? Regardless of who wins, this was good football, with the exception of the Hobo's time out management. Addai rushes, winding up a couple short of the first down. Hunter Smith will punt.

21 seconds left at the Pats 20, Cassel airs it incomplete, aiming for Moss. Same again on 2nd down.

"They have everyone but Martin Brodeur back there," - Al, on the Indy prevent defense.

Moss catches the ball over the middle, tries to lateral, but fumbles, and the game's over. 18-15, Colts win, and the picture stays really confused for all of us.

See you next week for Giants-Eagles!

A Peyton Dollar. It might be worth more than an actual dollar these days! (I kid, I kid the economy!)

This intro still sucks, but at least it's Faith Hill and not Kenny Chesney, right? Gotta be fortunate for the little things. I am very disappointed in Coach Hobo for not wearing his Flashdance hoodie, opting for a jacket instead.

Even after only seven weeks of John this year, all the things he says just kind of start to run together; he's almost become the Frank Caliendo imitation of himself. Not that what he's saying is wrong (always) or that it can't be insightful, it's just more blather than anything interesting about these teams. This is probably because neither he nor anyone else can concretely figure out what the hell the Pats can be with Matt Cassel right now or if the Colts really are that lousy this year.

Over / Under on Brady mentions ? - JG

Last time I gave a number for this, John and Al were very good about it and were way under the stated 15. So, let's go 12, and there's one down as Al says "They better be glad they're not going against Tom Brady."

Stephen Gostowski kicks off to Pierre Garcon, who returns it just past the 20. Anyone know French? I imagine it is Pierre the Waiter, thus, I wonder if he says it "show-dehr." "It's CHOW-DAH, FRENCHIE!" Peyton to Clark for 8 yards at the 32, Addai gets one on the next carry. The third down pass to Harrison is broken up, and the punt goes to Welker, who's down at the NE 21.

Matt Cassel starts there, hands it off to BenJarvus Green-Ellis -- despite the starting line-ups saying Kevin Faulk is starting. He gets three yards. Tyjuan Hagler tackles Faulk after a screen for about two yards. 3rd down is inside handoff to Faulk, and that's short. Three and out.

Chris "Predator" Hanson boots it 64 yards, Marvin Harrison is tackled returning it inside the 20, and we get Pearl Jam's "Dissident" for a bump, even though we're nowhere near Seattle.

Addai rumbles from the 9 up to about the 14. Harrison gets his first reception right at the first down line, which the Colts get for the first chain movement of the game. Addai rushes into the pile to the 22. 2nd and 7 goes over the middle to Anthony Gonzalez to the Colts 32. Addai rushes outside and gets nothing. Manning finds Clark over the middle again and it's another first down at midfield.

Addai heads into NE territory at the 47. The Colts keep moving the ball on a 3rd and 3 pass to the sideline, where Reggie Wayne brings it in. Manning bootlegs after a fake to Dominic Rhodes, and then throws to Rhodes for 8 yards. Rhodes gets the first down, rushing inside the Pats' 25; Rhodes then gets two more. Another pass over the middle to Harrison, an open-field tackle makes it 3rd and 2. Addai gets that first down at the Pats' 12. Manning throws the 1st down pass to Anthony Gonzalez's shoulder, and he brings it in for the touchdown. Kick by Vinatieri is up and good, 7-0 Colts.

That sequence of plays looked familiar.

Why does Al Michaels insist on reminding us of the number of first downs the Colts have this drive every time they get a first down? - JFein

Nervous tic, maybe Tourette's-like. Ellis Hobbs takes the kickoff out to the Pats' 33.

Regarding the SNL election special: Fred Armisen is still a bad choice as Obama, even if he has the intonations down. It just looks bad. Are there no black comedians out there that can do it, Lorne Michaels? 2nd Brady mention right there, as part of the lineup of injured players on New England. 3rd and 3 is a pass from Cassel to David Thomas, who gets past the first down marker.

"Something I don't think I've ever said in the play-by-play is 'Bob Sanders missed the tackle.'" - Al

Next play gets out to the 48, which is where the first quarter ends.

The Colts must lead the league in white boys. - 49er16

Jason Whitlock believes this is the reason for the team's success. I was pissed about the NFL Network showing the Broncos vs. Browns game, but after today against Miami, I'm not sure I want to watch the Broncos suck in the predictable ways any more. BenJarvus Green-Ellis (great name, BTW) burrows deep into Indy territory to the 27. He then grabs five more on the ground.

"Boy, they all have that chin and the same grim look when they throw." - John, when they show pictures of Matt Cassel's baseball playing brothers.

Kevin Faulk takes the direct snap, Cassel splits wide, and they get a few yards. Heath Evans burrows through to the 17 for a first down. Cassel breaks out of the pocket and runs, sliding down at the 10 yard line. Green-Ellis gets nothing on 2nd and 5. The pass is broken up by Tim Jennings, and Gostowski is heading on. Kick is up and good, Colts, 7-3.

Next week's Sunday night game: Giants at Eagles. That should be good. Two weeks: Cowboys at Redskins. That one, not so much. Pierre the Waiter kneels after catching the kickoff in the end zone.

A retrospective of Peyton Manning is accompanied by Cracker's "Low." I find this funny for various reasons, because Peyton looks like he's "hey, hey, hey, like bein' stoned" a lot of the time. First down pass is broken up by the corner defending Harrison, and Wheatley's hurt.

Manning has to scramble out the pocket a bit, but finds Addai on the short checkdown, and Addai gets the first down on 2nd and 10. Addai only gets one on the outside before he's tackled by Tedy Bruschi. Inside handoff to Addai, who gets a couple more, after John notes the 2 linemen and 4 LB formation up front, which is useful to note. We slam guys a lot, but it's nice to have someone point these things out. Mike Vrabel makes a good ankle tackle on Addai short of the first down.

Hunter Smith punts it again to Wes Welker, and he brings it back to the 22 yard line after breaking a couple of tackles. Depeche Mode bump, using "It's No Good."

I see Mike Holmgren has taught Tony Dungy about the "3rd and X draw play" that works so well for him. - SSReporters

Nah, that's Tony's Steelers background showing.

Fun Fact: Bill Curtis found the internet around the same time FEMA realized that New Orleans was underwater. - Anon
Hey Bill Curtis give me credit I invented the internet - Al Gore

+1 to both of you. Four Names runs it up to the 27. Cassel then throws to Four Names past the 30 for a first down, and we haven't even seen Randy Moss so far, have we? Doesn't matter, as Four Names pounds to the 37. Another first down for him.

"You just love to say that name. BenJarvus Green-Ellis. He uses his mother's name Green, his father's name Ellis. This team has a Jarvis Green and an Ellis Hobbs. You know what his teammates call him? Law Firm." - Al

That's actually so good that it's replacing my dubbing of Four Names. BenJarvus, you are now "Law Firm" for the rest of this live-blog. Faulk gets a couple. Welker catches his first pass short and to the side, and they're within the 40. Evans gets a couple more, then the ref falls down and the Colts call time out.

Cassel converts the 3rd and 4 by hitting Jabar Gaffney at the 25. Gaffney went up a bit for it, nice job. The Law Firm is stopped as the Colts' defense shouts "Objection!"

"A lot of passes he's thrown this year have been behind the line of scrimmage" - Al Michaels
on Matt Cassel (via JFein)

Wait, aren't all passes thrown behind the line of scrimmage? Or does he mean that they're screens that start with the receiver behind the line of scrimmage?

Faulk takes the direct snap, throws to Welker on the screen, but Indy stuffs it behind the line. 3rd and 12 results in a rush by Faulk to the 12 to set up the FG attempt. Gostowski's kick is good, 7-6 Colts.

I think I've got Jingle Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to the five-dollar footlong Subway tune. Gostowski kicks to Garcon, who brings it to the 18. Pass for Addai gets deflected. Manning hits Wayne over the middle to the 35. Almost the exact same play to Wayne, to midfield. A short one to Addai loses yardage, and the next one is tipped and nearly picked off. 3rd and 6. Manning hits Harrison, but he can't get out of bounds. The clock stops and Peyton tries to spike it, but the Colts get called for a false start. 10-second runoff means the end of the first half, which ends 7-6, Colts.

See you in the second half thread.

Coach Hobo and the Brady-less Patriots are at 5-2 and headed into Indy to face the 3-4 Colts. With the Bills losing today, the Pats can take sole possession of first place in the AFC East with a win. Peyton Manning and Co. need to defend the home turf or risk falling out of any chance of a Wild Card spot.

I honestly think it's a toss up, so make your pick in the comments, document anything stupid on Football Night in America, and we'll see you in an hour for the live blog.

More Pey-Pey to bring us back, as the Colts are down at the half -- to all our surprise, really. The Colts' offense looks stunted right now -- there is some inevitable truism about not getting snaps in the pre-season for Peyton and the first team.

Based on what I've heard on NBC tonight, I'm assuming when Brady goes on IR he'll take over the uniform patch and field adornment from Gene Upshaw. - Anon

I don't care who you are. That's just funny.

You think next week Chris Berman will call Cassle "Matt 'Harold and Kumar go to White Cassle'"? - Anon

Don't give Berman any ideas, although the majority of his references are from the 70s or 80s.

What the fuck was that? Devin Hester caught the kickoff in the end zone, and it looked like he was going to stay in, but then he snuck out and got WHACKED by Melvin Bullet (that is an all-time GREAT NAME, by the way) at the 7. Lovie Smith looks like he's been sucking on a lemon after that move by Hester. A quick three and out follows, and Maynard is going to give the ball to the Colts in good field position.

The Bears are not helping themselves with false starts on the punt.

Punt's brought back to the Indy 47.

"That's the Boogie Burger. You have one, then you go over to the [corporate name] Shopping Center and buy some new pants." - AM
"Two pairs of new pants." - JM

Manning hits Reggie Wayne for a first down in Bears territory, and I've just lost my fantasy match-up this week with Dallas Clark not coming back.

Charles Tillman gets flagged for illegal contact on a bomb Peyton was aiming for Marvin Harrison. 1st and 10 at the Chicago 32.

"If he's angry and he gets fast, this is the time to use [Harrison]." - JM

Can someone translate what the fuck this actually means? I don't think anyone has seen Marvin Harrison emote on the field for his entire career. He is the Gargoyle of wide receivers. Joseph Addai gets a first down and goal for the Colts. Screen to Wayne, bad block by Gonzalez. Manning to Wayne in the back of the end zone, TOUCHDOWN.

Kick is good, 15-13, Bears.

Hester gets run off out of bounds at about the mid-20s on the kickoff. Kevin Jones gets six yards on his carry. and grabs 2 more on the next one. Orton to Olsen for a third down conversion.

A 2nd down pass to Forte gets nine yards, then Forte grabs another first down with a rush.

"There's nothing about Matt Forte that looks like a rookie." - JM

I know what he means, but it still sounds kind of funny. Forte looks like he didn't get that first down on the carry right there -- but, that is a very small piece that got it, and they'll get the chains moving. After a couple of short running plays, Orton loses the ball while dropping back, but recovers -- problem is, they're out of Gould's range now. Punt time on 4th and 6. Fair catch at the 16.

NBC uses Green Day's "Warning" for bump music.

This always amuses me about ads for erection pills: "Don't take [insert pill here] if you aren't healthy enough for sexual activity." If you ever got the diagnosis of not being healthy enough for that, wouldn't you just consider killing yourself at some point? (I don't mean to say you would go through with it, but y'know...)

Anyway, Manning tries a checkdown and it's incomplete on first down.

Peyton, Andrea's waaaaatching yooooooou.....

Manning to Harrison.....but it's a fumble caused by Charles Tillman, and Lance Briggs picks it up and takes it to the house for the TOUCHDOWN.

Dungy's gonna challenge it.

"On a wing and prayer, he throws the flag. Probably a prayer." - AM.

"The biggest problem he has is the stiffness." -Andrea Kramer (via Brian)

(Giggles like a schoolgirl.)

Call stands, for obvious reasons. Harrison had the ball and both feet down; that wasn't even close to being overturned. Gould's kick is up and good, 22-13, Chicago.

No Dane Cook, you may NOT make any more movies! Bad! - jfreak

Worth asking: how do you sell a movie like that to bigwigs? "Oh, we're gonna cast Dane Cook, the Pie guy, and Kate Hudson, who's really still coasting off of the over-rated Almost Famous. Whaddaya think?" "I'll sign off on that!"

On one of my frequent scannings of the cable guide, I found a bizarre little action flick that had Dane Cook starring alongside Dennis Rodman in the late 90s. I can't remember the name of it, and I think you and I are both better off if I don't recall it.

Good return by Indy, but there are flags that mean block in the back. Manning hits Wayne for some yardage.

"He's lettin' the Bears off the hook; he's lettin' em blitz too much." - JM

Could it be that the Bears' defense might be better than Peyton and his O-line, guys? I mean, it can't be that Peyton's not totally 100 percent (although that helps). Give the Bears more credit, guys.

Guys, that was a tough catch. If anything, Peyton kind of overthrew that ball to Marvin. Manning has to call another time out, and they've only got one left with another quarter left to go. Addai converts the 3rd and 1 at the Indy 40, and we're 45 minutes in.

"Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number." I love the Dos Equis ads, although the beer is essentially Mexican Budweiser.

Manning goes deep for Wayne, but he can't land inbounds. Do the Colts have enough patches on their uniforms? With the stadium patch and the Upshaw patch, it's crowded. Peyton's captain's "C" is even higher; he looks like an erstwhile Boy Scout.

Manning hits Wayne at a bit more manageable area. Addai catches the 3rd down play, but is short.

When I imagine Roger Goodell making decisions in his office, I imagine he sounds like John C. McGinley in those Miller Lite ads. "It's funny faux pas, not funny ha-ha." (Why I imagine this is another matter.)

Bears are psyched, as the Colts go for it on 4th and 2 and get stuffed at midfield. Chicago is moving it in Indy territory with some ease, as Orton calls time out on 2nd and 2.

Apparently your Dane Cook/Dennis Rodman flick is called "Simon Sez," from 1999. I'd never heard of it, but it's got a stellar 2.2/10 rating on IMDb, good enough for the 62nd-worst rating of all time! - Jay

MST3K would have had a field day with that movie.

"They have out-physicaled the Colts tonight." - John Madden (via Anon)

From the Department of Made-Up Phrases.

Al referenced his drunken photos and the Neckbeard! Orton then gets Rexy on us on 3rd and 1, hitting Desmond Clark for 36 yards. 1st and goal on the 2.

Fullback Jason McKie piles in for the TOUCHDOWN!

Gould's PAT is good, 29-13, Chicago.

Courtney Roby gets beat up again on the kickoff return. That was a glorious replay of Manning Face that NBC showed before going to break.

I think those patches might be 25th anniversary, not stadium. I cannot say for certain, though. - jfreak

Has it really been 25 years since Irsay's Midnight Move? Wow.

I dont think there is a person in Chicago between the age of 20-27 that doesnt have a drunk Kyle Orton story. - Brian

Wouldn't shock me too much. Drunk Kyle Orton has become an erstwhile sort of legend, one that polite media don't really want to acknowledge too much.

"Key 3rd down for the Colts here." - AM

Really, aren't all third downs key? Essentially, converting those is the key to succeeding in football. Some are more so than others because of timing and being behind, but I have a hard time thinking of a non-key third down play. Anyway, Gonzalez catches the pass, first down. Jacob Tamme, filling in for Clark, gets one. Marvin Harrison gets a couple yards on the short pass -- but, ineligible man downfield on the Colts.

Two uses of "erstwhile" tonight? You are one erudite fucker. - Jay

I like my $10 words. Alex Brown takes Manning down for the sack.

Forgive my ignorance, but what does the Neckbeard refernce mean ? - JG

Please observe the photo below in the first half thread and Deadspin's Kyle Orton category.

Fourth down, and the Colts are probably going for it -- incomplete pass, and the Bears get it back and will look to ice this one.

"Orton with efficient numbers...."- AM. Translation: less than spectacular passing yardage, only one TD pass (right, or does he even have a TD pass?), basically, has not fucked it up for the Bears.

Oh goody, the graphic bar at the bottom is back after a short hiatus!

The Colts need a priceless pep talk. - SSReporters

"Alex Brown came from the backside of Peyton Manning." -JM (via Anon)

I'm laughing like the 12-year old that I really am. We can safely say this game is over as the Bears try to run out the clock, and question whether the Neckbeard is truly the One True Quarterback for the Bears or if the Colts just played really flat.

And the Colts are going to run it out with some meaningless plays, as the AFC South -- which I think is the best division in the conference -- has three of its four teams lose today. Tennessee is the only team in the division to win (well, by beating a division rival.)

Anyway, it's gonna wrap up 29-13, Chicago. Thanks for sticking around, and I'll see you next week for Steelers-Browns. Drop by Signal to Noise some time, won't you?

Like I would start this live-blog without a picture of Kyle Orton drunk. That's just how we roll. Got it? You may also start your Peyton Puffery meter from Al and John now; we will go with an over/under of 12 obvious on-air BJs. I will also be praising the elder Manning if he makes a habit of throwing it to Dallas Clark tonight, say, on the order of two or three touchdowns, because I'm 20+ down to The Starter Wife in the Channel 4 News League.

You know how this works. I take the best of your comments and post them throughout.

The NBC desk is now HUGE. It's still not big enough to fit all four of those egos up there. Not that I don't like Patrick, Olbermann, and Collinsworth, but it's too damn much. (Bob Costas can go somewhere cramped and smelly as far as I'm concerned.)

Faith Hill's grown on me as far as a theme. Dumb and cheesy, but a better dumb and cheesy than the other networks.

John's inflated a little over the offseason -- he looks weightier than he does in the Madden ads where he's ridiculing video gamers who throw Hail Marys on 4th down.

The Sunday Night Football Cookbook? Um, no. I'm sure some of us out there can make better recipes on our own or know someone who can. But, if someone buys it, let us know if there's a turducken recipe in it.

Do we really care if Danica Patrick finished 10th in some Indy race?

Robbie Gould kicks off to Courtney Roby, who bobbles and then gets it to the 30 for a start. Here comes Pey-Pey. Incomplete dump-off to Robinson on first down. Pitch to Joseph Addai, hits the outside for 5 yards. Lance Briggs already knocked up and on the sideline. Peyton to Anthony Gonzalez for a first down.

Addai gets whacked while rushing on the next first down, loses three. 2nd down pass gets knocked down. 3rd and 13, and Gonzalez should have caught that. Punt team coming on, and I don't believe Dungy is dumb, so he's not gonna kick to Devin Hester -- wait, what? Hester got tripped up at the 30, thankfully, as Hunter Smith kind of botched the kick order.

"They can either come in that position..." - John Madden (via Gangsta D)

That's just nasty. Here comes the Neckbeard...and it's a botched play with a false start. Your 2008 Chicago Bears. Excuse me, an illegal snap. Matt Forte gets 2 yards, then six more on the 2nd down play. 3rd and 8 results in a deflection, and we get a three and out. We'll probably be seeing a lot of that from the Bears' offense.

Maynard's punt bounces all the way to the Indy 19.

Bud Light Lime: If the shitty taste wasn't bad enough for you, we're going to mask it up with artificial lime flavor! Addai goes for 4 yards on 1st. Manning tosses to Marvin Harrison near the sideline for a first down, and goes back to Marvin once again across midfield.

Addai for a couple more, and Madden talked about possible problems with Peyton's footwork. I trust John did not see his acting work; he's got good moves. Manning hails one up to Dallas Clark, and we're gonna get a PI flag or a roughing the passer flag -- it's roughing on Urlacher, and I hate calls that are that close. If you're going to call that a split-second after the QB throws, put the quarterbacks in red "no contact" jerseys or a dress.

Manning goes to Gonzalez on the next play and it's another first. After an incompletion, Addai goes around to the left side and grabs about 12 for a first and goal. Manning doesn't like the set-up, and he calls time out. Tommie Harris comes up and stuffs Addai for a five-yard loss.

"If the Colts can get their running game going with Peyton Manning and the passing game, they are just about unbeatable." - John Madden (via SSReporters)

This is what passes for analysis these days. Fascinating, huh? And Peyton has to blow yet another time out. He's out of rhythm with his line. 3rd and goal turns into even more difficult, as they get called for a false start and are now at the 16.

OK, now this is really bad. The Colts do not get called for delay of game. EVER. The third down pass is incomplete, and Adam Vinatieri is coming on to kick a field goal.

Kick is good, 3-0, Colts -- but that's not looking good if Indy's gonna play like that.

If you'd like a short game break and would like some schadenfreude, here's video of that Tom Brady hit from earlier today:



Ouch.

Andrea Kremer tells us about Lucas Oil Stadium's retractable roof, and I can only think about the millions it cost and how much of it is taxpayer-funded. The kickoff is handled by a non-Hester, since it's a squibber, and the Bears start at about the 30. Orton's 2nd down pass gets tipped, and while John and Al are talking about Orton somehow getting a starting job again -- oh, shit....Matt Forte just busted it 50 yards for the touchdown! Nice run.

Gould's kick is good, 7-3, Bears.

Courtney Roby flubs the kickoff, but the ref says he was down on the kickoff. Can Lovie Smith review that or is that just a ref's judgment call? Apparently you can, and Smith is going to.

No Andrea Kramer, you are not allowed to call my beautiful new stadium, "the Luke." Get out of my sight. - jfreak

Aw, you know every media member has to come up with a catchy name for a stadium!

Tony Romo gives the dumbest smile ever at the end of that Lemon Pepsi commercial. Why can't they show Brian Dawkins hitting him hard at the end?

Romo may have doubled his size but his dick remains as tiny as the pepsi bottle. - Anon

+1, sir.

The play stands as called. Manning to Clark for 7 or 8 due to poor tackling by the Bears. Addai stretches for a first down. Next pass is too high for Reggie Wayne. Wayne took a hit from Charles Tillman trying to catch the third down pass, and Hunter Smith will be on his way out again.

Punt is downed by the Colts at their own 17.

Referring to the graphic about leading passer, rusher, and receiver -- when all three of them kind of suck (save Berrian, but who would throw to him?), you can't blame an organization for getting rid of them. Forte gets 9 yards on the carry and you might have the right to start asking questions early about the Colts' defense. Usually Bob Sanders is there and able to help with run stuffing.

Orton to Hester for eight or nine, and one more tackle missed and he'd have been free for 20. Forte busts through for six or seven and a first -- and Bob Sanders pretty much saved a touchdown. First quarter's over.

Is Neckbeard going to complete pass in the first half? Odds? - Anon

Anon, already done, and he's smart if he's just going to go for checkdown-type stuff. No reason to pull a Sex Cannon if Forte's gonna run like that all night. Orton to Rashied Davis.

And John and Al are already onto the Brady injury -- rumors that they're going to bring in Chris Simms for a tryout. Opinions on this? Anyone's better than Matt Cassel, obviously.

A draw fails on 3rd and 5, and Maynard kicks it away, it's fair caught at the 18. Dishwalla's "Counting Blue Cars" for the bump? Are they from that area? I've not heard that song in a long, long time (and that may be a good thing.)

Regarding Brady's Knee:

Yahoo! Sports and PFT are saying the ACL is torn, and Adam SChefter of NFLN reported around 8:30 that the MCL is torn also.

Just passing along the info. - JG

That's painful. How many of you just got screwed in your fantasy league because of Brady's injury?

You still have Favra's dick to suck Madden, don't be too downtrodden. - jfreak

You think Madden's out of sorts? Peter King is crying in the corner of the studio right now. Manning hits Wayne for 18 yards and a first. Crap, crap, crap -- Dallas Clark is out with an injury; Manning hits Harrison in Bears territory. Gonzalez catches a pass and gets nice yardage post-catch by spinning towards the sideline.

Reunite the Culpepper & Moss! - Anon

I am so in favor of this, you have no idea. Manning hurls one to Wayne, but he can't quite lay out for it in the end zone. Peyton gets another pass tipped. 3rd and 10 is a swingout to Dominic Rhodes, but that's going to be short, and here comes Vinatieri again.

Dr. John Madden, evaluating just how much weight Peyton's lost.

FG kick is good, 7-6, Bears.

"That suit not fitting him the way it normally would, see him walking out..."- AM
"I've known Peyton Manning for a long time, and that's not the confident Peyton we're used to seeing." - JM

Danyel Manning brings the kickoff up to the 34. Forte up to the 37. Now, could you imagine if Chicago actually invested in a decent quarterback with their field position average, since no one wants to kick to Hester, they wind up being the benefit of squibs? Hell, they might actually get back to the Super Bowl. But, the Halas family is ridiculously cheap.

Bob Sanders just smacked up Forte and he's sitting on the sidelines. Time out, Chicago.

Think the Manning parents rode out on the Madden Cruiser ? - JG

Not high class enough for Archie and Olivia. Besides, Madden probably never shuts up. He's that dude you remember from the road trips you took during college who got baked in the backseat, ate all the time, and never, ever shut up. Had to talk about something all the time.

Clearly Manning is distracted with his important doubles match against the Williams brothers in the oreo cookie league of double stuffed whatever. - SSReporters

Hah!

"That's [Forte's] welcome to the NFL moment, huh?" - AM

Orton throws into double coverage for Desmond Clark while getting hit. Oddly Rexy of him.

It seems wrong that Dwight Freeney is rocking a Yankees hat in his profile picture. Not because of the team, but because he's wearing a hat. I didn't think that was allowed, but I'm not gonna be the guy to tell Dwight Freeney he can't wear a cap.

I would fire an RPG at Frank Caliendo through my TV if I could. Clark on the bike, Hayden poked in the eye, and Orton hits Clark over the middle for 19.

"This crowd has not been a problem for the Bears offense." - AM

The Colts' staff forgot to move the crowd noise tapes when they moved stuff out of the RCA Dome.

Kelvin Hayden should have had that pick. That was a high, rushed throw by Orton (thanks to Freeney), and that was a turnover waiting to happen. 3rd and 13.

Kyle Orton scampering downfield for yardage is really not a pretty thing to watch, and neither was the hit. Robbie Gould from 41 yards is good. 10-6, Chicago.

"It makes the RCA Dome look like a pimple!" - AM, on Lucas Oil Stadium

Gould kicks off to Roby, who gets out to the 21 -- but it's coming back, flags on kickoffs are almost always on the receiving team. Block in the back, Manning will start at his own 11. Marcus Harrison just put Peyton on the ground back at the 1 yard line. Handoff to the RB -- and Ogunleye tackles him in the end zone for a SAFETY. 12-6, Chicago.

Indy's challenging it, but I'm with our boys in the booth -- this didn't get out far enough. Call stands, and the Colts will punt it back to the Bears. Hester picks it up and takes it out to the 38. Offensive holding drives 'em back to the 28. 1st and 20 for Forte ain't much -- but Orton hits Brandon Lloyd to move the sticks. (Yes, that Brandon Lloyd, the one whom Redskins fans cannot say the name of without adding a choice swear word in the middle somewhere.)

Two minute warning is here.

Madden : You cant tell its a stadium from the outside.

Except for the giant lettering on the outside saying it is. Al and John must have hit happy hour before the game. - JG

Any reports of Brent Musberger tailing along for that one?

The Bears get a first down from an encroachment penalty, then Orton gets about 600 pounds of muscle falling on him as he's sacked. Forte cracks the 100 yard mark with that three yard gain.

Orton hits Greg Olsen on third and 15, and now using that last time out looks really bad, because they're forced to kick for the points rather than take a shot at the end zone. 25-yarder for Gould, and it's good. 15-6, Bears, and that's the half. Shoot the shit about the halftime show in the comments, and I'll be back in a few with our second half post.

Hiya, everyone. S2N here, back with you for another wonderful NFL season. Consider this your pre-game open thread for the pre-game show (now with Dan Patrick!) and feel free to add your gripes about the day in play.

See you in an hour when kickoff starts. I'm gonna get re-adjusted to using Blogger again.

I wish I was kidding, and this will probably everywhere soon, so I'll keep it brief. From ESPN via Beast Mode comes this late breaking story that Colts WR Marvin Harrison is being investigated for a shooting that took place in his hometown of Philly this week.....

The source said the alleged victim came into the bar, Playmakers, around 5 p.m. and engaged in an argument with Harrison, who was at the bar. The victim then left the bar, heading to his car, with Harrison following. Gunfire broke out, the victim was hit in the hand, and a young girl was slightly injured by flying glass from a car that apparently was hit by a bullet.

Police came to scene, but the victim did not identify a shooter. On Wednesday, according to the source, ballistic tests showed that the gun that had fired the shots was a custom-made Belgian weapon, and police determined that Harrison owned such a gun.

Police then went to a Philadelphia car wash owned by Harrison to question him about the gun. Harrison admitted owning such a weapon, but claimed it never left his suburban Philadelphia home.

However, the source said the gun was discovered in a bucket at the car wash, and tests showed that it had fired seven bullets that matched those found at the scene.

Well then. I guess it's good that the Colts took Pierre Garcon in the sixth round of the Draft then huh? If there was someone in the NFL that I would never expect this to happen to it's Harrison, and in all fairness Harrison hasn't been charged or arrested at all. This is also a report ESPN is picking up from WIP in Philadelphia, so we'll see what develops. I'm very surprised that the "Leader" picked it up so quick.

Marvin Harrison Now Shooting People (Beast Mode)
Report: Harrison investigated in shooting outside bar (ESPN)

Hi folks. Here's an open thread for Bolts-Colts, as you watch the douchebag Philip Rivers, LDT, and the greatness that is NORV! take on Peyton & Co. in the RCA Dome. (I think I've already made it very clear who I'm pulling for.) Your announcers today are the CBS 2nd team: Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf; while much more tolerable than Nantz and Simms, they are capable of doozies and some nice cliches.

Things worth counting/drinking to, if you are so inclined:
1) NORV! Face
2) Manning Face
3) LDT stewing in the corner of the Chargers bench
4) Peyton ads during the game
5) Mentions of Shawne Merriman's size without noting his roid use

I'll be around in the comments and I'll see you for the Giants-Cowboys live blog. Also, enjoy this fine animated parody of the Manning ads with the douchebag Rivers. (Hat tip to KSK's Christmas Ape.)

A young Tony Dungy as a Steelers coach with Chuck Noll and future Colts O-coordinator Tom Moore.

New rules for this half: given the propensity and probability that this half will consist mostly of three and outs, I will, rather than try to get the game action, catalog the myriad of non-Colts or Titans related subjects John and Al touch on. Of course, big plays and scores will still be noted, but these may be few and far between right now. If you'd like to help out, please do so in comments (like you don't already.)

"I always look forward to a big implosion. This building will be torn down, but not exploded." - JM. He must love his trips to the restroom in the Madden Cruiser.

Also, a 2nd half three and out count will be used. That #1 for the Colts this half. They're now talking about the Colts' new dome, of course. I think John just called the RCA Dome a pimple. Colts recover a fumble by LenDale White. He'd never have dropped it if it were a sandwich.

Apparently if Sorgi gets hurt, Peyton comes back in. Cleveland is hoping Albert Haynesworth stomps on Sorgi's face.

Players from the Ivy League -- apparently Clifton Dawson is a Hah-vahd man. TOUCHDOWN COLTS -- Sorgi rifles it to Craphonso Thorpe. Kick is good, 10-7, Colts.

Chris Henry (not the Bengal) just got DESTROYED on that kick off return. That's gonna leave a mark. "If that was a heavyweight fight he'd have to take a standing eight count." - Madden.

No three and out this time, VY picks up a first down, but comes up limping a bit -- and he's taking himself out of the game now after the next play. Here comes Kerry Collins. Drink, people, because you know Kerry did today. Penalty-fest: false start, delay of game, then offsides on the Colts, yeesh.

Madden said reid was pointing to the top of his head and he didnt know why. John he was pointing the name on his back because like all athletes today he wanted everyone to know who he is because he made a play. - Steve

Nice.

Truly AMAZING stuff on NBATV in the Celtics vs Lakers game. The Lakers are going "old-school" and this ain't your regular old school. They have super short shorts on like shorter then John Stockton. You have to see this. - Brett

I'm in SoCal, so it's on the Fox Sports here -- and all I can say is, "I see London, I see France, I see Kobe's underpants."

Bironas kicks a FG for the Titans after the Collins-led drive stalls. 10-10 all.

The other good part about Fox Sports here is that there are two channels: one is showing the regular game feed with announcers while the other is just using the sideline cameras and such; they call it "Lakers Sideline." All you get are these cameras and the P.A. announcer -- with a sideline reporter doing dorky interviews with Andy Garcia and Lakers VP Jeanie Buss before the game (and she sounds less like an exec VP than a total Laker groupie.)

VY ain't coming back with that strained calf, people -- no matter how questionable Andrea Kremer says he is. Third quarter over.

Take notice-that could be the only time you ever hear a "Let's go Sorgi" chant in an NFL stadium - Sam

It must be nice to be Jim Sorgi. Get paid a good salary, don't have to do jack shit of consequence ever because Peyton's never hurt at all. Now, there's shots of Peyton playing offensive coordinator on the sidelines with Sorgi. That's the only part that's gotta suck, and the look on Sorgi's face was priceless; "Dammit, I don't wanna listen to this asshat" while saying "Yeah, Peyton, you got it." I dare say Jim Sorgi had Eli Manning face on him while getting a priceless pep talk from Peyton.

"They're not saying 'boo', they're saying 'Luke', aren't they?" - JM

Three and out #2 this half for the Colts.

Vince Young injured in a game John Madden commentates......now there's a coincidence ;) Madden jinx!!! - Mark B
The only NFL job easier than Peyton's backup is the Patriots' punter. - Jet City Gambler

JM: "There are some things you can do in the locker room on a table that you just can't do on the field." - (via False Rumour Monger)

(shivers in fear) VY's running back to the sideline now, but I doubt he's getting back on the field at all.

Via The Sporting Blog comes a replay of the Reid hit on Henry

Damn, AA -- it's tough to watch that again. I'm awaiting the Kerry Collins that never fails to throw a timely pick, and he's been close to it with the past two passes. Here comes Bironas for a field goal to go ahead. It's good, 13-10, Titans.

So, Browns fans, your hopes lie on the shoulders of Jim Sorgi. Might as well get ready for the off-season now. Antoine Odom just teabagged Sorgi. After an incomplete and a pass that's short, that's #3 three and out for the Colts. Titans have it at the Colts 47.

The Titans are trying to eat clock right now by running the ball. Well, they were. Collins is gunslinging it down the field for first down after first down.

If you missed it, Andrea Kremer talked about text-messaging Willie McGinest, who's apparently waiting with baited breath to see if he goes to the playoffs. My guess is that Kremer got McGinest's number, hoping he still had Tom Brady's. Bironas nails another field goal, 16-10, Titans.

How much of a "fuck you" would it be if Peyton, Clark, and Wayne came back in right now to get a game-winning touchdown?

"It's the month of the Collinses." - AM. I smell conspiracy -- two square-jawed dudes named Collins in their late thirties come in to replace young, black quarterbacks in VY and Jason Campbell -- Collinses don't care about black people.

The receiver should have come down with that Sorgi pass, and we get "Another One Bites the Dust," presumably for Browns fans. This sucker's over, Titans will get into the playoffs with a 16-10 victory. I'm going over to Celtics-Lakers, and I presumably will see you next Saturday once AA and I work out who's live-blogging what for Wild Card Weekend.

Vince Young, making the rounds at an ATP men's tennis tour stop in his hometown of Houston. I will be live-blogging this game while participating in EDSBS' drinking game with the Independence Bowl. Wish me luck!

OK, here we go with John and Al, and let's see how much Peyton is actually playing tonight. John's talking about the "two games" tonight. Is that anything like John Edwards' "Two Americas" speech or anything?

Colts kick it off, and the Titans will start deep in their own territory. VY hands it off to LenDale White, who garners 10+ yards on the first rush from scrimmage. White busts it again for another 15 and a first down at midfield. A small victory for the Colts early, they stop White after only two yards. VY hits Bo Scaife on third down for another first. Chris Brown barrels through for another 1st in Indy territory after a VY pass for eight on the previous play. VY is slinging it to Byron Ealey now. Another catch, this one by Justin Gage, and it's first and goal.

Chris Brown barrels right in on first down for a touchdown, Titans. Kick is up and good, 7-0 Titans.

Not a good way for the Colts to start -- like they care. Kicked off to T.J. Rushing, and he goes back to the 22 yard line, which is where we'll say hello to Peyton Manning. Peyton hits Joseph Addai on the swing for eight yards. He then hits Reggie Wayne for a first down. Incomplete on the next play. 2nd down catch by Wayne gets a few yards. Manning to Wayne for another first down with extra yardage after the catch into Titans territory. Peyton to Clark, 3rd and 1, Peyton to Unpronounceable Receiver Not Marvin Harrison for another 1st. Wayne FUMBLES!!! on the swing out pass, and Tennessee's got it back.

More rushing for the Titans on the start of this series. Chris Brown gets another first down on the second play.

"He gets that penetration, gets in the backfield." - JM

VY looked really weird sliding on that bootleg out when there wasn't any sort of pass available downfield. It'll be 3rd and 12 here, and not enough on the play. 4th down, here comes the punt team. Indy brings the punt back to the 18.

JM: "That time Joseph Addai got what you call a real chip. That was chipping off a big, old hunk. It took Vandebosh right down."
AM: "Put him in the woodchipper." - via False Rumour Monger

Addai busts a big run past the 30 on the first play for 15 yards. Another one past the 35 for Addai, 2nd and 6 coming up. Peyton to Fletcher to close out the quarter. More Addai, more first down for the start of the second. Swing out to Wayne, which he doesn't drop this time. Short of the first down. Another shortie to Wayne, and that's a first down. Another pass to Wayne, another first down. Peyton is a machine right now.

"He's big and strong and he's physical." - JM, talking about Titans defenders. Another 4-yard pass to Wayne. Addai gets stuffed on the next play, but 3rd and 16 at the Titans 19 is coming up. Manning's arm gets smacked while throwing, and here comes Viniateri to kick a field goal. Kick is up and good, 7-3, Titans.

Really, NBC? Couldn't you have gotten Don Henley's original instead of the Ataris' cover of "The Boys of Summer"?

VY gets it out to the tight end for 27 yards, and this Colts team is sucking on defense right now. One yard gain for Chris Brown. 3rd and six is caught by Gage across midfield for a first down. Vince Young just steps up and makes the big plays, people. Pass interference on a bomb thrown by VY against Marlin Jackson. Ball is loose on the next play inside the 10, and the Colts get the fumble recovery!!!

IT'S SORGI TIME!!!!

Is Al going to mention Cleveland everytime something exciting happens in the game? - Rick.

Yes. Yes he will. Sorgi, out to the fullback at the 14 yard line. He then hits Reggie Wayne for a first down, and now has the most receiving yards in the league. Another pass to Wayne to a first down, and "he learned this from Peyton Manning." I bet he did, John. I think someone should name their band the Jim Sorgi Experience. An incompletion on 2nd, and the pass to Craphonso Thorpe is short of the first. Punt time. Returned to the 25, but will come back with a penalty flag.

3 and a half left in the first half, everyone. VY incomplete on 2nd down, and it's stalling again. Incomplete on third down, and it's another punt. A good punt return is negated by a block in the back. Sorgi at his own 30, and knocked down by the Titans. He then throws incomplete with a flag on the play -- it's on the Colts, and declined. Sorgi throws another incompletion, punt time.

"This has to be so agonizing for the Cleveland Browns right now." - AM

2:13 left in the half. White gets nothing on first down, time for the 2 minute warning. VY's 2nd down pass bounces off of Bo Scaife and lands in the arm of another Titans receiver somehow. John and Al are bored -- they're now talking about the Immaculate Reception for some reason. Another pass to Gage for a 1st down, and 1:42 and a first down at the Indy 41.

Sorry. Browser crashed. Tennessee punted again, and the half ran out. Titans, 7-3 at the half. I have to decide whether this is worth blogging the 2nd half.

"It used to be clipping on the return team, now it's block in the back"-Madden
"I miss clipping"-Michaels - Via Sam

"There's more Colt jerseys at a Colt game than any other stadium."- John Madden - (Via AA)

S2N back with you again, and you won't be seeing too much of this guy above in Titans-Colts tonight. This game, despite the likely viewing of Jim Sorgi for much of it, means something, as everyone in Cleveland is officially a Colts fan for the next four hours. Titans win and they're headed to San Diego, otherwise, the Browns will be headed to the Whale's Vagina, Tijuana's Hat, or any other nickname you have for the city.

So, let's document this week's atrocities from Costas and Co. in the comments, and I'll see you for the first half.

AA Here......had to jack S2N's thread with this hilarious clip of Jon Gruden inventing a new word.....

Irrelative? Oooookay.

A portrait of the so-called "offensive genius" as an aspiring douchebag, as we open the second half of this chronicle of crap. Figurs takes the kickoff back to the 39, and Brian Billick says Boller will be in there unless he gets hurt. Really? Billick's already conceded the game, I guess. Boller gets smacked and loses the ball -- Indy recovers, replay shows the ball came out of the back before his arm went forward.

Addai rushes for nothing much. Peyton then hoists another one to Anthony Gonzalez in the end zone; Viniateri's kick makes it 44-7. Coach Hobo is jealous of Dungy this week.

Figurs returns the ball to the 28. Boller completes a pass (!) to Derrick Mason at the 47, then hits Mark Clayton at the Indy 10 with a deep ball. So he waits until the second half to show up. Nice. Of course, this being the Ravens, they can't convert a 1st and goal into end zone points. Here comes Matt Stover -- wait, I guess not. Boller is picked for the third time, and the second time by Gary Brackett. Ineptitude like this doesn't come easy, everyone; it takes work.

We have a Sorgi sighting, folks. God, what are Al and John going to be able to talk about now?

"I think this is what you call a mercy substitution." - JM. Dammit, Dungy, I need more fantasy points from Peyton if I'm going to sneak into the playoffs. Put Peyton back in!

"Clearly there's a quarterback controversy in Indianapolis, there just has to be." - AM. Indy actually looks fairly dysfunctional without Manning, more so than most teams would be without their starter. Figurs fair catches the punt at the Baltimore 36.

Belichick would care about this game, but he's already too busy trying to figure out how to put up triple digits on the Jets next week. - OMDQ
Even if the Jets are +40 next week, I would still take the Pats. - Signal to Funk

Would there even be a line for the Jets-Pats contest next week? Isn't there a point where it gets so high that Vegas doesn't bother? Boller hits a receiver in Colts territory. McGahee gets a first down inside the 30. Now Al and John are killing time by talking about the musical pursuits and aspirations of the Willis McGahee.

"He almost doesn't have any clothes on below his waist." - JM on McGahee. The Ravens are putting together a nice drive against the Colts' second team.

"I think the NFL does itself a disfavor by waiting to announce fines that close to the games." - JM. I don't think that word really sounds right there, John -- maybe saying it does the league no favor would work better. Baltimore has a 3rd and 2 at the Indy 5 as the third quarter ends.

Yum, crab cakes. How can you hate crab cakes, John? Davar Darling catches a pass from Boller on 4th and 1 for a touchdown -- amazing!

They went for 2? It fails as Boller is picked, 44-13, Colts. Nothing like garbage time.

"Crabcakes...I'm not exactly sure what goes into them."- JM

Ummm...crab? - AA

Yeah, that's not hard to figure out, is it?

The line for Jets-Patriots is currently 26 points. - Anon

Hmmmm...who says it's 30 by week's end? I do.

One more thought on Jim Sorgi: clearly, the man has no particular career aspirations other than to be a backup -- otherwise, why re-sign with the Colts like he did this year? It's nice to ride Peyton's coattails. Indy punts again after another three and out, and this game is putting me to sleep. Baltimore is driving again on the Indy scrubs, via the help of a pass interference flag. Boller converts 4th and 3 to the Indy 20-something.

"There aren't many things I don't like, and I think I'm not a shellfish guy." - JM.

Mike Anderson takes a carry for a few extra yards. Another pass inside the 15 makes it 4th and 6.

"The fans down there are yelling, 'Go! Go! Go!'" - JM
"Some of them already have." - AM

Boller gets sacked on 4th down, and Indy will get it back to run clock. Sorgi to Gonzalez gets a first down, and we're killing time by talking about the Indy defense with Bob Sanders. Three more plays and we're gonna get a punt and Troy Smith coming in for the Ravens.

Is anyone besides me a little unnerved by the fact that Peyton Manning is still wearing his helmet despite being on the sidelines for like twenty minutes of game time? - OMDQ

I'd make a joke about the mentally handicapped but this game has sapped the humor right out of me....oh, what the hell -- Peyton looks like Special Ed from Crank Yankers on the sideline with his helmet on. Here comes last year's Heisman winner to hand off to Mike Anderson. Two minute warning, finally.

"By the way, that was not the 2 minute warning, just a Ravens time out. Wishful thinking on my part." - AM. Yours and all of ours, Al.

You can quit whenever you want to S2N....no one will be mad. - AA

I know, but now that Troy Smith is in, it's kind of interesting. I thought he got a bad rap after last year's championship game and dropped off the radar in the draft. Smith is moving well against the Indy scrubs -- tosses a pass on the run to a receiver inside the 10. Smith then gets his rush on for six for his first NFL touchdown. Kick is up and good, 44-20, Colts. Troy Smith is pint-sized, but he should probably at least get a shot at helming this team for a bit.

That'll be your final score, folks. Thanks for joining me through this suck-fest; Giants-Skins has to be better next week, if only for Eli's feats of stupidity.

Hey, Peyton, where's that other hand going?

No Chris McAllister or Samari Rolle for Baltimore. This may not even be close. Indy takes the kickoff up to the 35 yard line to start. Joseph Addai gets stuffed on 1st down, Ben Utecht catches it on 2nd down for about five. Bart Scott's on the ground now to boot.

You can't tell me someone not familiar with a Wii hasn't done exactly what happened in that Southwest Airlines commercial in real life. I know that has to have happened somewhere.

Anthony Gonzalez brings in the Peyton pass at the 48 for a first down. Addai gets exactly nothing again on the next play. Ravens tackle Haloti Ngata is on the ground, and we've spent more time in commercials than we have on the game so far.

"[Terrell Suggs] is going to have his way with that rookie tackle for the rest of this game." - JM

I feel really weird when announcers say that. It's like they're going to violate someone in unspeakable ways. Gonzalez catches another third down pass to convert in Baltimore territory. A rush gets a yard, and the next pass to Dallas Clark is incomplete. Manning steps up on the rush, air mails it to Reggie Wayne for six. Pretty pass. 7-0 after the PAT.

I smell rout with all the B-more defensive injuries before the game and during it so far.

Hey S2N, just so you know there was a huge slobbering of Peyton by JM in the pregame. I'd put that at one. - AA

Thanks. Must have missed that when I went to get dinner. Peyton Knob-Slobbering at 1. Ravens get the kickoff, and Yamon Figurs goes to the 26. Boller screens it to McGahee, nothing much there. Boller's almost picked after another McGahee rush, but he's bailed out on 3rd down via an illegal contact flag on Gary Brackett. McGahee promptly suffers a case of fumbleitis and Indy recovers -- Marlin Jackson takes it to the Ravens' 12.

Manning goes right to Utecht, who misses the end zone by about a yard. Joseph Addai walks in to the end zone. 14-0, Colts, after Viniateri adds the point. This is bad and may get worse.

Giants vs. Redskins next week? God, I'm going to have so much fun making fun of Eli relentlessly. Figurs returns the kick with a flag on the play -- holding on the Ravens. Boller completes a pass to the fullback for nine -- and he's on the ground hurt. That's three injury time-outs in the first quarter. Bob Sanders smacks McGahee up behind the line of scrimmage on 2nd down. Boller gets the first on a QB sneak, then scampers for five or six on the next play.

Oh, how nice: another injury timeout, this time for Indy's Robert Mathis. McGahee gets a first down after giving Marlin Jackson a good old fashioned stiffarm. Boller rushes again and slides for four on 1st down, getting whacked by Brackett on the way down. McGahee churns for another first down by grabbing 13 to the right side. Willis is working it into Colts territory, getting 7 more.

"This looks like ER -- there's an injury on every play." - AM, as McGahee is headed off the field. Brackett picks off Boller and heads all the way to the Ravens' 20, giving Peyton another automatic touchdown at this point -- there's no secondary to stop the Colts right now.

Manning to Addai on a short out to the left, and he jogs it in for six. 21-0, Colts. 300 touchdown passes for Peyton in his career, and the first quarter's not even over yet. They just showed shots of Brackett doing something resembling Ray Lewis' dirty bird dance.

Ravens start on the 26, and rush it for a couple yards.

"Thank you, Andrea Kremer, R.N." - AM, after a sideline report on an injury update. Bob Sanders tackles the receiver after the catch, and they're short of the 1st down. Hey, a punt's better than a turnover, right? Well, not if it's blocked -- and it goes right out of the end zone for a SAFETY. 23-0, Colts. Oof.

T.J. Rushing brings the safety punt back to the Colts' 35.

"Doesn't Peyton Manning look like he has everything under control?" - JM
"Always." - AM

That's #2. Manning goes to Wayne for a first down.

What the hell just happened? Saddle bags??? - Anon

I couldn't quite figure out why that got mentioned or what it was in reference to either. Addai gets the carry for maybe a yard or two to start the second quarter. Manning to Clark to the Ravens 23 after Al accidentally calls him "Dwight Clark." Addai pushes forward to the 17.

I am utterly disgusted that I, a resident of the largest media market in the country, can't even listen to this game because Nets/Wizards and the 3-10 Jets post-game show takes priority. - Aunt Charlie

Nowhere near a TV, I take it? You're not missing a whole lot.

Ah, finally, a montage of Robert Irsay's Midnight Move. Manning tosses to Gonzalez for another chunk of yardage. Joseph Addai gets touchdown number #3 of the day by scampering in from 11 yards out. 30-0, Colts after the point. Like Al said, folks: this is too easy for the Colts right now.

That Wendy's ad with the singing burger is mildly disturbing, and that's even before you're exposed to bars of Air Supply. As for Clash of the Choirs, it's like NBC wants to kill any viewership it might have that isn't The Office or 30 Rock.

Yamon Figurs goes scampering down the sideline on the kick return to the house. 30-7, Colts. At least there won't be a shutout.

Rushing brings the kick back out to the 24, after John agitates for an onside kick from the Ravens.

"Don't you feel that [Peyton] knows more about what he's doing than you know about what you're doing?" - JM. That's #3. Addai gets 2 yards on 1st down, and the pass from Manning after that is incomplete. Addai gets stopped up on 3rd down, and Indy goes 3 and out after some nifty jazz hands by Peyton at the line of scrimmage. Punt is downed by the Colts at the Baltimore 23.

"See Al, this is why you need to leave the M.A.S.H. reports to me!" - Andrea Kremer.

Boller rushes yet again after McGahee's first down run. I think he's actually had to run more times than he's thrown the ball so far this game. Think we get to see Troy Smith any time soon? Another 3 and out for the Ravens. Indy gets slightly worse field position due to a holding call.

I would love to say this is the most boring high scoring game I've ever seen, but I'm live-blogging the Falcons-Saints game tomorrow. - AA

That might actually be competitive in a "both our defenses stink" way. This is just a one-sided abuse-fest. Addai gets a first down on another short pass and yardage afterwards. Peyton airs out another deep ball to Anthony Gonzalez, who beats the corner to the end zone. Viniateri's kick is good -- 37-7, Colts. Guh.

"See, Baltimore hates Indianapolis, but Cleveland hates Baltimore. Joanie loves Chachi and we love Paris in the springtime. My stream of consciousness can be a bad thing." - AM

I really don't have a comment to respond to that one. Kyle Boller breathed and got intercepted again. Kenton Keith then rushes for not much as the Colts get the ball back. Al's comparisons of Peyton to a great racing horse or something like that makes sense to me because Manning has a horse-face.

"Jazz Hands Manning is beating them by 30+ and you bums could only manage a 3 pt victory? You assholes make me sick!" --seen on Patriots locker room bulletin board - Signal to Funk

Dude, I have no problem believing that Coach Hobo would write something like that. Gee, the Ravens forced a Colts punt? Downed at the 2 yard line.

"It was like a volleyball tap." - AM, on the Indy effort to keep the punt out of the end zone -- and then notes how it hit the player in the face. Al is breaking out his Cosell impersonation again, noting that Howard would get free lunches from the mayor in certain cities and then pimp the city during the broadcast. Boller gets sacked back at the 2-yard line.

Just got home from the in-laws, turned on the TV, and was greeted with this debacle. Did the Ravens forget they were playing tonight, or are they still too busy complaining about last week to actually be competitive? - OMDQ

Last week they played for Sean Taylor. This week, they remembered they still play for Brian Billick. 37-7, Colts, at halftime.