Well at least that's what Peter King is trying to tell people. is reporting that newly signed ESPN analyst, Matt Millen, is the leader in the clubhouse to replace Cris Collinsworth, but the network is also considering Brian Billick, Marshall Faulk and the one and only....Joe Theismann!!!

Remember I told you a couple of weeks ago how NFL Network was furious with Jon Gruden for agreeing to a deal to do color on the Thursday night games in a two-man booth, then reneging to sign with ESPN? NFL Network wasn't exactly thrilled with the worldwide leader for ripping off Gruden. Well, ESPN and NFL Network may just have to play nice now to get another deal done -- if league TV decides to make Millen the color man to replace Gruden for its eight-game slate of late-season games.

In the wake of NFL Network losing Gruden, the channel has considered a few options of analysts to pair with Bob Papa. One is Brian Billick, the quick-on-his-feet former Ravens coach who had a successful debut on Fox last season. Another would be a three-man booth, with Papa, Marshall Faulk and Joe Theismann, who, presumably, would walk to each game if the network would give him the gig. But I hear Millen is the leader in the NFL Network clubhouse.

Bob Papa and Matt Millen would actually make a heck of a team, but to do so, Millen would have to work approximately 90 hours a week. He'd potentially be in studio for Monday Night Football, have NFL Live during the week, Thursday Night Football and finally College Football work for ESPN on the weekend. Even the most dedicated of broadcasters can't talk that much without losing their voice.

While I think Joe Theismann would be a bad choice, I almost miss him at this point. A three-man booth of Papa, Theismann and Marshall Faulk, would be dreadful....it would certainly provide tons of posts for the site. Hmmm....someone flip a coin for me.

The Matt Millen Job Fair (SI)

I was getting ready to praise Deion Sanders' interviews during Media Day, but that was until this exchange with Steelers' Safety Ryan Clark. After Ryan Clark called Deion out for saying on-air that his hit that seriously injured Ravens' RB Willis McGahee was illegal, Sanders had to explain what he actually said was that it was "a legal hit" and his Southern drawl is what confused Clark and his wife.

However it was how he described the hit that caught my attention. Take a listen in at the :35 mark....

"That was a great hit. You put McGahee in the ice cream truck!"- Deion Sanders

Now I know that Deion gets ultra-excited about great defensive plays, but to use the phrase "put him in the ice cream truck", when the player was down on the field for almost ten minutes, is just a tad over the top. Plus the fact that I have no idea what it means.

Other than that exchange, Deion was by far the best interviewer out there today, and put both Steve Mariucci and Marshall Faulk to shame.

I know I overuse the words seriously and apparently, but I can't stress that above seriously enough. Marshall Faulk honestly and truly (new words!) wants to be the Rams next head coach. Seriously....no joke. Via PFT....

In an excellent Monday Night Countdown segment in which ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reviewed the status of various embattled head coaches, Mort mentoned that former Rams running back Marshall Faulk wants to be the next head coach of the team.

Seriously. [Ed note: Sweet useage!]

Our take? The dude has been hanging around Deion Sanders too much.

As you might recall, Sanders tried a couple of years ago to throw his fedora into the ring for the Falcons job — with zero experience in coaching or personnel evaluation and/or management.

Faulk, like Deion, simply doesn’t have the credentials to be a head coach. He could be an assistant coach, and then he could gradually learn the side of the business he never saw while he was a player. And then after working his way up the ladder and gaining some experience he might be ready to become a candidate for a head-coaching job.

I missed the segment last night, and no other source has picked up on this besides PFT and Rotoworld, soooooo we might be looking at another Chris Mortensen "exaggeration" here. Obviously I agree with Florio's statement above, but really anyone could probably do better than what Linehan and Jim Haslett combined to do this year.

Plus, anything that can be done to make sure I never have to endure Deion Sanders and Faulk calling a game again is definitely a good thing.

What The Faulk? (Pro Football Talk)

I've got a couple more videos to share with you this evening before I call it a week and S2N takes over. The first is a clip from the NFL Network Postgame last night. For some reason, the cameramen were playing around with the their lenses and the analysts were getting a huge kick out of having their heads blown up and/or shrunken.

I don't know if they were laughing that much because someone put pot in their holiday brownies, or if being on the set that long just makes you crazy. Either way....looks fun....can I have some?

(Thanks to IB from Sox and Dawgs for the clip)

During a conference call yesterday, Marshall Faulk decided to hint at the fact that the Dallas media was/is too soft on Offensive Coordinator, Jason Garrett. The only problem? It was during a conference call with the Dallas media. Via the Star-Telegram....

“You [reporters] kind of gave [Garrett] a pass,” Faulk offered up during a 35-minute NFL Network conference call today. “Whereas for Brian Stewart, the defensive coordinator, when things weren’t clicking on defense, you guys attacked him in the media.”

Faulk was “surprised” when Brad Johnson replaced Romo on Oct. 19 at St. Louis that the Cowboys didn’t seem to know “what kind of game plan they were going to run, and not able to implement it, say, against the Rams.” The Cowboys lost that game 34-14.

Said Faulk: “We didn’t get, ‘Hey, Jason Garrett, although you don’t have Romo, you’re still supposed to find a way to win football games.’ ”

When pressed for a reason why the local media would give Garrett a pass, Faulk replied, “I have no idea. [But] it’s the exact same reason why after Sunday’s [20-8 win over Giants], you guys threw softball questions and chuckled it up with Romo, and asked T.O. all the hard questions, and really got after him.”

Faulk indicated he watched the postgame news conferences on ESPN in amazement, as Romo was asked football-related questions such as where the team was headed.

“But for T.O., it was like y’all were pouring that lighter fluid out there,” said Faulk, “trying to get him to strike a match.”

I don't live in Dallas, but I think it's safe to say that Jason Garrett isn't exactly getting a "pass". I could be wrong though. Also, the notion that Romo got an easy question from Andrea Kremer, or anyone, is just wrong. In fact Romo was the first person to address the issue during the postgame interview. He may have just been joking, but if he wasn't, it seems really off base.

Dallas Cowboys' Jason Garrett gets ‘pass’ from local media, Marshall Faulk says (The Star-Telegram)

(See what I did there?) I mentioned last week that I was planning on making the time to check out Sterling Sharpe's first play-by-play gig on the NFL Network and that I was actually looking forward to it. I also added that I thought it might actually work and after checking out a good portion of the game, I want to take this time to say that I was wrong....so very wrong.

The broadcast wasn't entirely bad, and the trio eventually settled in a bit, but the first half was beyond horrendous. It seemed as if Sharpe didn't know he was supposed to be doing play-by-play and at times he would go five to seven minutes without even describing the action on the field. During just about every series, and on punts and kickoffs, there were gigantic pauses and dead air while the play was going on, and occassionally players would be running back to the huddle before he would convey the results. At one point, Marshawn Lynch pulled off a 16-yard run and the RB was back in the huddle before anyone in the booth said a word. It was easily a good 40 seconds or so of nothing. As a PbPer, you don't have to describe every single moment of each play but it would be nice to hear a little description every once and awhile. Here's a brief Youtube clip where you can get a sense of what I'm talking about....

And that was just part of the first quarter! Sharpe also struggled with player's names and yardage throughout and seemed to use the phrase "To a Man" in regards to every single conversation with a coach or player. Both Faulk and Deion tried to help him out when they could but it was almost like the were waiting for a cue from Sharpe. They all sounded and looked to be having fun, but it really came across like Sterling got zero coaching and was just thrown to the wolves. Having three analysts in a booth and no play-by-play guy is close to the most distracting thing I've ever watched.

Again, I think he's a great analyst but this experiment was not a success by any stretch of the imagination. If he sticks to the analyst role, and to honest commentary on Matt Cassel and other players, I think we can just pretend this never happened.

The NFL Network Gives Sterling Sharpe A Shot At Play-By-Play (Awful Announcing)
Tom Brady And The Pats vs The NFL Network (Awful Announcing)

It's well documented how I feel about the duo of Deion Sanders and Marshall Faulk calling a game in any capacity. When Dick Vermeil blew out his vocal cords two years ago, I almost lost my mind with them in the booth along side Bryant Gumbel. Since then Marshall Faulk has gotten much better in my opinion, but Sanders is still a self-promoting waste of airtime.

Well that leads us to this little item from the Chicago Tribune. The NFL Network isn't just throwing those two together again, they're adding someone new to the mix this preseason. Someone who actually might be able to handle the pair and make some sense of their meandering. I give you the newest play-by-play man for the NFL Network....Sterling Sharpe!

Former Green Bay Packers receiver Sterling Sharpe will try his hand at play-by-play.

An NFL analyst for 12 years, Sharpe will call the game for the NFL Network when Buffalo visits Indianapolis for a preseason game Sunday. It will be the first NFL game at the Colts' new Lucas Oil Stadium.

Sharpe will be joined by analysts Marshall Faulk and Deion Sanders, with Adam Schefter reporting from the sidelines.

Don't think for a second that I'm not watching this game. Sterling is just about everything that Deion Sanders isn't as a broadcaster, so it will be interesting to see how the two work together. I still think Faulk can be good and if the Network would stop pairing him with Primetime at every opportunity, I think he'd flourish.

Good luck Sterling, and I give you permission to shut Deion's mic off at any point during the broadcast. Trust me....he'll never know.

Sterling Sharpe to do Bills-Colts play-by-play (Chicago Tribune)

Who's ready to watch people running sprints, lifting weights and jumping up in the air to hit little sticks? I know I am! About the only thing I regularly watch on the NFL-Network every year is their coverage of the Scouting Combine. It's really not for everyone, and I can understand why most think watching it is stupid, but I just can't get enough of the combination of athelticism, awkwardness, and randomness.

Well I decided to look into how much coverage the NFL Network plans on bringing us Football Nerds starting this Thursday and the total hours is staggering.

Beginning Thursday, Feb. 21, fans will be given an all-access pass to more than 300 NFL hopefuls as they converge for the combine at the RCA Dome in Indianapolis for on-field drills, physical testing, exams and interviews with team personnel and the media.

From press conferences to weigh-ins, the 40-yard dash to the bench press, NFL Network goes live to follow the competition with high definition telecasts. Coverage will incorporate the use of a record 12 cameras, an on-screen graphics panel highlighting workout results, and interviews with participants following drills. In total, NFL Network will provide 26 hours of combine coverage.

Live Workouts: Host Rich Eisen is joined by analysts Charles Davis, Mike Mayock and Rod Woodson for daily reports on the prospects participating. Additional expert commentary includes Jamie Dukes on the offensive linemen, Marshall Faulk and Steve Mariucci on the quarterbacks, running backs and wide receivers, and Deion Sanders on defensive backs. Airs live Saturday, February 23 through Tuesday, Feb. 26 beginning at 11 a.m. ET each day.

An entire day of televising absolutely nothing...I love it! Marshall Faulk should keep me busy all day Thursday and the thought of random white QB's running 7.3 40-yard dashes just leaves me giddy.

Here's the list of everyone invited if you're interested....

Players invited to participate at the scouting combine (NFL.com)

I mentioned this last night, and lined up to some of the things Bryant Gumbel has said it isn't that crazy, but what in the hell is he talking about here?

The restroom? I'm confused. Did he mean locker room??? Oh forget it....I'm done trying to figure out Gumbel. Just get him the hell out of there please. Oh and congrats to Marshall Faulk for getting his jersey retired.....you need to go too. Oh and Deion....

You get the idea.

Update: Thanks to the commenters good ears it's clear that Gumbel said Dressing Room. Great work everyone.

I'm pretty sure this is all the NFL Network's crew is going to talk about is Marshall Faulk tonight. And while that might get a tad annoying, Marshall Faulk does deserve the praise. With that said, I have no idea why Bob Costas will be the one leading the praise....

Marshall Faulk, who spent the last seven years of his 12-year NFL career with the St. Louis Rams, will have his jersey retired by the team. The club announced Wednesday that the ceremony will take place at halftime of the Rams' December 20 contest against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Bob Costas will lead the proceedings, which will feature a video tribute after Faulk's number 28 is raised to the rafters.

Interesting.

(Not really I know)

Rams to retire Faulk's jersey (The Sports Network)

I don't know if you can really be happy at someone else's expense when they're sick, but just the same Bryant Gumbel will be out for this Thursday's game between the Broncos and Texans. Via the Houston Chronicle...

NFL Network play-by-play announcer Bryant Gumbel is suffering from a sore throat and will be replaced by Tom Hammond for Thursday's Broncos-Texans broadcast at Reliant Stadium, a network spokesman said Tuesday.

Hammond will join Cris Collinsworth, with whom he called a playoff game last year for NBC, for the NFL Network broadcast, said network spokesman Seth Palansky.

Tom Hammond should fit in nicely because he's been covering one crappy Football team all year in Notre Dame. Two should be no problem. I kid I kid. Gumbel is resting his voice for this Saturday Night's contest between the Bengals and 9ers. While I don't like when other people suffer....the possibility of a game in which a congested Gumbel is working with Deion Sanders and Marshall Faulk could be gold.

Gumbel to miss Thursday's Broncos-Texans broadcast (Houston Chronicle)

(Thanks to IANJ for the link)

It was a year ago yesterday that the NFL Network had to call one of the oddest audibles in NFL history. Dick Vermeil was battling an awful case of laryngitis during the first half of the December 14th game last season, and was benched to start the second half. What happened next was extraordinary. Instead of sending Marshall Faulk and/or Deion Sanders up to the booth to pinch hit....they left them on the set at the stadium. The three combine for the most awkward set of delays, different views of play, and stumbled over each other's words for an entire half.

Combined with Vermeil's Voice.....the first all African-American booth ever provided the worst announced game I've ever witnessed. Hands down. Well guess what?

They're teaming them up again!

Chris Collinsworth has a scheduling conflict for the December 15th, Saturday Night game between the 9ers and Bengals and the NFL Network is putting Deion and Marshall in as replacements. The NFL-N could surpass the awful meters highest reading of 101 (Why 1? Because I make the scale rules around here). You have Bryant Gumbel who is the worst Play by Play guy going, Rich Eisen in the pregame, and Sanders and Faulk to wrap it all up. Oh boy I can't wait!

If Marshall gives us even a fraction of his previous performances.....it'll be a blast!

What You Talkin Bout Marshall? (Awful Announcing)

Most of you know my opinion of Marshall Faulk as a broadcaster. I'm amazed that he's considered even passable and shocked that most have him at the top of his field. Anywho, Howie Mandel was on the NFL Network recently and as MDS at Fanhouse reminds us....he's a huge germophobe. That doesn't matter to Marshall at all.....

That's a pretty crappy thing to do to someone who's that debilitated by a disease if you ask me. The "Ass Clown" stamp at the end made me though.

That's a very vague and confusing title, but here's the deal. I'm going to take each Network's coverage and compare the analysts to the winning and losing teams in the draft. Why? Because no one else is doing it (and I have nothing better to do on a Monday). Up first....The NFL Network.

Being that I don't have the NFL Network at home I was forced to head out into the cruel world that is my parent's basement to catch some of the coverage. Yes, it is true...I blogged from my parent's basement....sadly, I was clothed.

(I'm just going to get this Simmons moment out of the way early....The highlight of the draft for me was when Houston drafted Amobi Okoye. My father calmly calmed him Bambale Osby (F-Maryland) at least 4 times. When I corrected him for the fourth time he just said, "Okay, Ombobby or whatever his name is." Classic.)

Check out the reviews after the jump.....

(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

NFL Network Grading:

Rich Eisen- Green Bay Packers- C-

Eisen, just like the Packers, is overrated and a complete annoyance and distraction to his employer (The Packers and Brett Favre to the entire League). Just like the Pack, Eisen tries to make a splash and actually be funny, but always comes off as smug and uninterested. I compare this to the pick of Justin Harrell. Taking him at 16 was waaaaay too high, and there are now rumors that Cleveland was offering them a 2008 1st rounder and a swap of picks in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th round picks. That's just dumb to pass up for someone you could have taken much lower.

For a team that had about 1,000 picks they were pretty average....just like Eisen always is.

Mike Mayock- Baltimore Ravens- B+

Here's the thing about Mayock....he's 2x better than Mel Kiper Jr., but gets absolutely zero press. I liken this to the Ravens versus the Redskins in the Baltimore/DC Metro market. The Ravens have been destroying the Skins in every facet of the game....better product on the field, better with the fans, better in the draft, and better at developing players. All you ever hear about are the Skins woes...even last year when the Ravens had a great chance to make some noise in the playoffs.

Mayock is smarter and more knowledgeable than anyone out there. He gives more analysis when a pick is made, and thinks all the decisions through. This is pretty much the reason the Ravens have developed so many All-Pros over the years.

Dick Vermeil- Chicago Bears- B

Vermeil is the smarts of the group. He sees his spots and takes advantage of them by providing relevant coaching and football knowledge. This reminds me of Chicago because they always seem to be in the right spot at the right time when it comes to the draft. Things just fall into their lap...for example Greg Olsen and Dan Bazuin.

Marshall Faulk- Jacksonville Jaguars- C

Marshall is a rookie in the network game. He really needs a little bit more experience and time to grow before you start critiquing him. I liken him to the Jags because after a few rebuilding years they are just now starting to turn the corner, but this year they just had an average draft. Like Faulk, JAX tried to make a splash, but stretched on a lot of picks. They did pick up a good number of extra picks, so hopefully like the Jags....Marshall will build on this for next year.

Deion Sanders- Dallas Cowboys (surprise!)- C+

Always rumored to make a splash and be crazy, but in the end they are really overshadowed by the nonsense. Deion seemed to be reeled-in a bit for the draft along the same lines as the Cowboys. They made a good trade with Philly and also drafted a guy named Deon, but in the end the picks were pretty lackluster. (Anothony Spencer was an average DE for a bad Big-10 team, and the fact that Kiper thinks he could win ROY is just nonsense.)

Charles "Mangina" Davis- The Jets- D+

Charles is the team that you know is going to be horrible going in. They promise that they are going to do right this year, but you're just waiting for the train-wreck to take place. The Jets didn't have a lot of picks, but they wasted the ones they had. I think Revis was way overvalued. He played in an inferior Big East Conference, and just looked extremely slow on game film. Being a Michigan fan I also know that David Harris was burnt down the field early and often. Those picks aren't going to help you against the Pats anytime soon.....just like Charles Davis isn't going to help a broadcast anytime soon.

Adam Schefter- San Francisco 49ers- B+

Adam Schefter destroyed his ESPN counterpart Suzy Kolber in the reporting arena. Schefter is a great up-and-coming writer, and has gotten stronger every year. The 49ers appear to be doing the same. After years of poor drafting they are finally piecing together an amazingly talented and young team. The 9ers are Schefter are ones I'll be keeping an extra eye on during the season.

(P.S.- Schef broke the Randy Moss trade on Draft Day as well)

Overall I think the NFL Network did a much better job with the main players than ESPN. The NFL Network is the Moneyball version of an NFL broadcast. They don't have the same money or the same "talent" (word used loosely), but they turn out a great product for the dollars.

NFL NETWORK GRADE: B

(ESPN's review coming later today)

There are not words to describe the debacle that was Saturday Night Football. I think I'm in the minority here, but I've always had the NFL Network since its inception in 2003. I've always enjoyed the channel. Especially when the Combine is in full swing (there's nothing like watching 75 different players do the 40 in a span of five minutes).

Well for those of you who DO NOT get the NFL Network you missed perhaps the funniest broadcast I've ever witnessed in my life. In fact it was so funny I should have started live-blogging (punching myself in the head repeatedly).

Dick Vermeil had such bad laryngitis that even BEFORE the game he was falling apart. And considering that he was going to spend his entire night talking........this wasn't going to end good.

Dick barely made it through the first half (as did I), and the NFL Network decided to ingeniously sub in Marshall "What You Talkin Bout" Faulk and then later add Deion Sanders into the mix. And with these changes the NFL Network inadvertently created the first 3-man African American Announcing Team.

The biggest travesty of the night was not Vermeil, nor Marshall, nor Deion, nor Gregory Gumbel.....no it was the fact that I had to go to a holiday party during the second half. It was like one of those moments in high school where everyone is telling a huge secret. Someone goes to tell you....and as you are waiting in extreme anticipation they drop this bomb on you. "Oh wait.....No.......I can't tell YOU!". And they walk away. That's how I felt after learning I would not be able to listen to the rest of the game.

Well you know what F them. And F the people who think listening to David Bowie's version of Little Drummer Boy is more important than laughing at the demise of the NFL Network. I mean what was I supposed to do??? Huh? Ruin Christmas??? (Dammit....you're right. I should have.)
_______________________

More important than "Throat Gate" (trademarked by me bitches!) is the fact that Bryant Gumbel is just plain AWFUL! Real Sports is far and above the best sports related show on television. It blows Outside the Lines out of the water. But you can't bring that "low-key"/somber tone and attitude into a broadcast of perhaps the most violent game in the world. It's not going to work.

Also saying things like, "The Shot Clock is running out"- BG, when it's actually called the PLAY Clock in Football......isn't going to help either.




Why Your Analyst Can't Have Laryngitis (Scott's Shots)

Update:

Bevo has left a new comment on your post "Dick Vermeil......Wow.":

I too love the NFL network especially their replay of games. Too bad you missed the second half because it blew the roof off the unintentional comedy scale. Vermeil refused to talk to Gumbel. Refused. Does anyone know what in the hell Marshall Faulk is talking about? He is worse than Eric Dickerson, who at least could complete a coherent sentence. Marshall, baby, take the damn marbles out of your mouth, watch the game, and provide some witty story that is more than tangentially elated to the play we saw. Deon Sanders would not shut the hell up. No wonder he was fired by CBS. How about this for a show on the WWL? Sanders and STEPHEN A. SMITH on the same set.

Damn you Bevo! I knew I missed comedy golf by getting dressed up in a sweater and drinking Nog-asakis with random people. Thanks for the comment though, and if anyone has anything to add......throw it in the 'ments.

Hopefully Marshall Faulk Goes Back To Football because he is a horrible analyst.

Part of the way through the third quarter of the (boring ass) SF/Sea game last night Gumby and Collinsworth were commenting on Shaun Alexander's new contract. They put up a graphic showing how rushers were less productive after leading the league the year before. They go down to Marshall Faulk on the sidelines to get his opinion, but no one answers them.

"Marshall??? Marshall? Are you ther....."
cutting off Gumby....."WHAT....WHAT YOU SAY?!?!?!?!"

Smooooooth Marshall.....damn smooth.

My other favorite moment was this exchange.....

“Seahawks tyring to keep the dream……or drive alive”- Gumby
“I knew that it was drive not dream”- BG
“I just thought you were thinking that it was a bigger moment than it was. Like an Olympic Jesse Owens moment”- CC
“More like a Jesse Jackson moment”- BG

Oh Snap! I'm not quite sure what that means, but it can't be good for Gumby. The Rev will break you!