The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Four
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Week four is here and we're ready to go with the PWCs. S2N is going to be your host and "Quote Master" for the day, so keep the comments coming early and often.
Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Three
“You have pads. It’s Football, it’s not playing patsies!”- Lou Holtz
“They were both strong and hard and played beneath their pads.”- Craig James
"He catches that pass10 out of ten times."- Jesse Palmer
"Well, 10 out of 11 rather."- Chris Fowler
"He needs a little more seasoning; a little more salt and pepper." - Ray Bentley on an Iowa player.
"Pitt in the all blue." - Pam Ward
"Iowa's looking like the Pittsburgh Steelers." - Ray Bentley
"And Pitt like the Seahawks." - Pam Ward
"You cannot have a quarterback on a yo-yo." - Andre Ware
"He tried to slam it in there but he was a little bit behind." - Ray Bentley (via Fairplay)
Ray is on a roll this morning, guys.
"We are coming to you from Heinz Stadium in Pittsburgh..." - Pam Ward
It's Heinz Field, Pam.
"They need to saddle up that horse and ride him." - Ray Bentley, on Iowa RB Shonn Greene
"You can't bounce it, cause of the penetration...too much penetration." - Rick Walker (via Gangsta D)
I expect that sort of thing to come from the Daves, not you, Rick Walker.
(after a 33 yard run on 2nd and 19)
"The D was in pass mode there. The LBs dropped in to coverage at the snap and ignored their run keys." - Ray Bentley
(Replay shows both LBs come forward at the snap and are blocked).
"...." - Bentley (via Shake'n'Bake)
"Every tackle you make could be touchdown saving." - Charles Davis (via Art McGregor)
"A smattering of boos from the Pitt offense.... I mean crowd." - Pam Ward (via Ryan)
"You're telling your kids you've come to win." - Andre Ware (via SSReporters)
"That was the biggest understatement since General Custer said, 'They look like friendly Indians.'" - Lou Holtz (via Gangsta D)
"He can throw those darts, the hard throws. It's the ones that go in the air he has trouble with." - Ray Bentley on Iowa's Jake Christensen (via Smitty Lite)
"Ground Control to Major Tom...O'Brien." - Dave Pasch on O'Brien's military experience.
"That whistle's a time out...actually, it's the end of the quarter." - Andre Ware
"I like that music they play on there." - Ian Allen
"Well if there's one thing I expect you to know about, it's music." - Matt Devlin (via Anon)
"He is more of a runner than a thrower."- Shaun King, calling Akron-Army
Considering Army uses the traditional run-based option that is the probably the type of QB you want, Capt Obvious. - JG
And Mr. Bentley is a bit two-faced on 4th downs. Via Smitty Lite:
"I like that, you should go for it anytime you are in your opponent's territory." (Pitt at the Iowa 40)
"I don't like that, if you are inside your opponent's 40 you can do that, but I don't like it here." (Iowa on 4th at the Pitt 49)
"I don't like that, you have points on the board with the FG." (Iowa at the Pitt 20)
"I gotta tell ya, even with all that hair on it, that pig's ear was good eatin'." - Ray Bentley
"I expected a more manly bite from you, Ray." - Pam Ward
"Rankings dont mean anything. People rank teams with their eyes closed." - Rick Walker, on GT scoring 31 on Miss State when Top 10 Auburn scored only 3 last week. (via JG)
"He catches that pass ten out of ten times."- Jesse Palmer
"Well, 10 out of 11 rather."- Chris Fowler
Uproar of laughter.
"What is that, Canadian math?"- Jesse Palmer
"It must be the altitude."- Craig James (via Tyler)
"Is this going to be a case of winning one for the Gimper?" - Tim Brando on ND-Michigan State.
"They chased the defensive linebackers." - Gary Danielson (via SSReporters)
"You're right; it was Janoris Jackson; I'm so used to seeing #28 (Major Wright) make those hits." - Gary Danielson
"That was Janoris Jenkins, not Jackson." - Verne Lundquist
Also, according to Florida's roster, Major Wright is #21.
"You talk to people about this Mia...er, Florida defense; kind of reminds you of the old Miami defense." - Gary Danielson
Arizona comes and just bites you like a crazy cobra, like a crazy snake in the desert. - Petros Papadakis (via mreleganza)
"We were all worried that nothing good was going to happen for Florida." - Gary Danielson (via Anon)
"Tennessee needs to arrest this problem immediately." - Gary Danielson, after a fumble deep in Florida territory. That'll be a change for the Vol progrma; things getting arrested instead of players.
"And Harvin gets keelhauled at the 30." - Verne Lundquist, deciding Talk Like a Pirate Day didn't last long enough.
"Both teams are making mistakes. Florida's making these itsy-bitsy little ones, and Tennessee is making huge, gigantic mistakes." - Gary Danielson
"Good to see Charlie smile. Well, they did win that game." - Bob Griese
"He might have been on painkillers, too." - Brad Nessler, responding to a clip of a giddy Charlie Weis at last week's postgame presser. (Via Tas)
"Michigan's only riverboat. They fit about 500 people on there and have a few wedding parties... they even had a divorce party once. I think I know who paid for the divorce, and it wasn't the missus." -- Brad Nessler (via Tas)
MSU is deep in the ND red zone and is rushing Javon Ringer.
"They lost half a yard." - Paul Maguire
"They can see the end zone better; they've backed up a bit." - Brad Nessler
"Um, OK..." - Maguire
"Running backs and quarterbacks, get whatever six pack you can get a hold of, and sit in the ice tub, cause that's gonna be sore." - Maguire, after Brian Long whacks Jimmy Clausen during a pass play.
"On every play you have determinators and terminators." - Glen Parker on Utah / Air Force (via JG)
"3rd and 17." - Gary Danielson
"How do you like your odds?" - Verne Lundquist
"Not good, unless Peyton decides to drop in under center." - Danielson
That's just mean, Gary. Don't mock the already suffering Tennessee fans like that.
"They pat him on the head. Unfortunately, he's short. They can't pat him anywhere else." - Paul Maguire, on Javon Ringer (via Tas)
"The song remains the same for Butch Davis: good young talent up front." - David Norrie
"Love when you work Zeppelin into a broadcast." - Terry Gannon
"You make me snort!" - Lundquist to Danielson (via Fairplay)
"These goalposts are unlike any others in all of college football because they have two uprights."- Bob Davie (Via Bazooka)
90 Comments:
From Game Day...
Herbstreit: "Clausen has thrown two picks in his first two games, 4 interceptions on the year."
Notre Dame has only played 2 games..
"He tried to slam it in there but he was a little bit behind"
Ray Bentley
Oh some dude from ECU just got GERMAN'd.
"They put Cross in for his package..."
--Ray Bentley
Pam Ward, may I suggest where you can take that Seahawks comment?
And in case anyone cares (like maybe you S2N), Bolton are 1-0 up over Arsenal in the soccer match with 20 minutes gone.
(switches to Fox Soccer)
Stupid fucking Bolton.
That just got equalized thanks to Eboue.
Back to the gridiron.
Eboue was offside, that was BS.
Fitting though, Adebayor and Song hit the post twice in 30 seconds.
I'd love to hear an American say Danny Shittu's name.
Oh you're kidding me, Bendtner scores now, 2-1 Arsenal and we've played just 27 minutes.
Stupid Bolton.
"You can't bounce it, cause of the penetration...too much penetration." -Rick Walker
I think they need to settle down and sick to their plan does the Iowa Hawkeye offense - Ray Bentley
"They need to saddle up that horse right there and ride him," -- Ray Bentley talking about Iowa RB Shonn Greene.
Bentley may just runaway with this now.
Anyone watching the ECU NCState game? After a fumble on a pick, a Wolfpack fan just was standing there with two middle fingers out, and for some reason ESPN kept the camera on him.
Sebastian - saw that. You stay classy, Raleigh.
Ray Bentley is terrible. 3 times already he's been totally wrong on what happened during the play, then refused to admit it on the replay.
(after a 33 yard run on 2nd and 19)
Bentley-"The D was in pass mode there. The LBs dropped in to coverage at the snap and ignored their run keys."
(Replay shows both LBs come forward at the snap and are blocked).
Bentley-"..."
"Every tackle you make could be touchdown saving." - Charles Davis, BTN
@ Shake n'bake
I think he's great......because he'll fill up an entire quote page just with this game.
I think S2N needs a "The Greatness that is Ray Bentley" tag now.
Now Charles Davis, that's terrible.
"A smattering of boos from the Pitt offense.... I mean crowd" Pam Ward
"You're telling your kids you've come to win." - Andre Ware
Captain Obvious.
"Gotta get out of bounds." - Dave Pasch
They had 3 timeouts Dave.....
"That was the biggest understatement since General Custer said "They look like friendly Indians." Lou Holtz
"I do not think it means what you think it means." Inigo Montoya
Not American football, but....
"Bendter looks to measure one." - Ian Darke in the Arsenal/Bolton match.
Ray Bentley, talking aboutIowa QB Christensen: "He can throw those darts, the hard throws. It's the ones that go in the air he has trouble with"
That would seem like a problem to me...
Can we change the spelling of Shawn Greene's name on the main page. It's Shonn not Shawn, Pam just keeps prouncing it wrong.
(Pitt goes for it on 4th and 2 on the Iowa 40)
"I like that, you should go for it anytime you are in your opponent's territory"-Ray Bentley
(Iowa lines up to goes for it on 4th and one on the Pitt 49)
"I don't like that, if you are inside your opponent's 40 you can do that, but I don't like it here"-Ray Bentley
(Iowa goes for it on fourth and 2 on the Pitt 20)
"I don't like that, you have points on the board with the FG"-Ray Bentley
(BTN promo comes up between plays)
"I like that music they play on there." -Ian Allen
"Well if there's one thing I expect you to know about, it's music." -Matt Devlin
Devlin has also been butchering names left and right (i.e. Hoskins somehow becomes "Hawkins").
Arsenal are just putting on a clinic now that Walcott has come in, Denilson scores and Walcott nearly scored, it's 3-1 and it's just about game over.
From the Akron-Army game:
"He is more of a runner than a thrower."- Shaun King
Considering Army uses the traditional run-based option that is the probably the type of QB you want, Capt Obvious.
(Purdue's Curtis Painter falls down in the backfield)
"That kind of thing is unexpectable...unacceptable at this point in the game. I know sometimes your foots get tangled up like that, but still..." -Ian Allen, BTN
"Rankings dont mean anything. People rank teams with their eyes closed." - Rick Walker after a discussion with the PbP guy on how GA Tech scored 31 pts on Miss ST, while Auburn (ranked in the top 10)
scored only three.
I agree with that, and would certainly explain a lot.
Jake Christensen is making me eat my words --Ray Bentley
"I expected a more manly bite from you." - Pam Ward on Ray eating some sort of food
The receiver just dropped a catchable pass.
"He catches that pass ten out of ten times."- Jesse Palmer
"Well, 10 out of 11 rather."- Chris Fowler
Uproar of laughter.
"What is that, Canadian math?"- Jesse Palmer
"It must be the altitude."- Craig James
Have to say, it's a quiet day for Pam Ward Chronicles......is it because S2N is here?
SS - I blame games no one cares about. ECU-NC State is a nail-biter, but who really gives a shit about either of those teams?
This should get better when ND-MSU starts, especially because Nessler, Griese, and Maguire are on that game.
True, but who cares about Iowa/Pitt? It's a gold mine from Ward and Bentley.
"A long history between CMU and Purdue...a history of 370 days." -Matt Devlin, BTN
I'm hungry for jizz.
SS - yeah, but that was really the only reason to watch the game. Takes some of the fun out of it.
I guess so, and Andre Ware has been unusually not crazy.
Too much info anon.
Well East Carolina has no chance at the BCS now.....Pinkney does too much.
I CAN SUCK MY OWN DICK AND IT CUMS WITHIN 5 SECONDS YUMMY CUM!
"They chased the defensive linebackers." - Gary Danielson
Ringer gets a first down and takes a couple Notre Dame players with him - Brad Nessler
Arizona comes and just bites you like a crazy cobra, like a crazy snake in the desert.
-That was Petros Papadakis
Danielson in the MSU-Notre Dame game, talking about an MSU receiver: They say he's in the mold of Jerry Rice and Randy Moss"
I don't think those two receivers are from the same mold...
Sorry, Nessler, not Danielson...
"We were all worried that nothing good was going to happen for Florida" - Gary Danielson.
"Good to see Charlie smile. Well, they did win that game." - Bob Griese
"He might have been on painkillers, too." - Brad Nessler
(Responding to a clip of a giddy Charlie Weis at last week's postgame presser.)
"Michigan's only riverboat. They fit about 500 people on there and have a few wedding parties... they even had a divorce party once. I think I know who paid for the divorce, and it wasn't the missus." -- Brad Nessler
I don't know who it is, but GOLF BONUS:
"Yeah, his scorecard looks like the X-Man."
I had to work the Terps FH game today, and the student radio guy was doing his first game...
I couldn't even take notes on all the innuendos hidden in his speach.
There was a barrage of: "She tries to pull it out."
"Boston College can't get it up."
"She can't get it in."
MSU-Notre Dame game. MSU was at the half-yard line. McGuire: They lost half a yard! Nessler: Well, now they can see the end zone better...
"You know before the game, Josh Briscoe was the one guy who was just giving it to his teamates."
Gary Danielson
McGuire: "These players just react. They read, and go. Read and go."
That's giving them a lot of credit isn't it? Major college football players being able to read?
I think CBS needs to get the Verne is old jokes ready for the second half blowout that Florida - Tennessee will become.
"on every play you have determinators and terminators" - Glen Parker on Utah / Air Force
"They pat him on the head. Unfortunately, he's short. They can't pat him anywhere else." - Paul Maguire, on Javon Ringer
"you make me snort!"
Verne Lundquist to Gary Danielson
he really did say that S2N, i almost lost it. verne was literally snorting like a pig.
Fairplay - got context for that?
I'm watching VT-UNC because it's less boring.
I wish I could watch that one too, S2N, but we have Texas A&M/Miami regionally. I flipped over to CBS and Lundquist was laughing like crazy so I didn't hear what started it but it was really funny nonetheless.
http://myespn.go.com/s/conversations/show/story/3598504
"he came in like a blue streak" - Joe B on Utah / AF.
After an Air Force player sacked the Utah QB, Air Force is wearing their blue jerseys
"That'll ice it right there" - Brad Nessler channeling his inner Billy Packer. MSU may have just gotten a big run up by 9, but there's still 4:40 left.
"So here we stand"
-John Saunders (returning to studio after ND-MSU game, where he/James/Palmer are all sitting)
"You make me snort!" - Lundquist to Danielson
That actually made me snort when he said it!
Mark Jones - FSU vs. Wake Forest - 1st drive
"Skinner hands off to RB Adams and he is sacked by Brown"
RB's are now sacked after handoffs???
I don't have the exact quote, but Petros Papadakis told a story about a time he was attacked by an owl during the Arizona/UCLA game. If someone Tivoed that game please find a quote. It was hilarious.
Petros is so freakin' awesome. His radio show with Matt Smith is hands down the best sports radio program I've heard.
I love Barry Tompkins and Petros as a football tandem. Worlds better than the majority of ESPN teams.
Mike Patrick: "FBS, what's that? Isn't that one of those banks that failed?"
Todd Ellis (radio for South Carolina-Wofford game)- "Inside, (Eric) Baker, 20, 25, and down to the 10 yard line."
Not a good night to be the defending national champion App Sate is losing 35-24 to James Madison after being ahead 21-0, 2:23 left in 4th. and LSU losing too.
moseydog: i said that quote an hour previous but S2N didn't think it was good enough to make the webpage. I love watching these games for quotes but without AA it seems like we are just wasting our time. "You make me snort" sounds very funny but I guess its not funny enough for S2N, I think AA would think it was however. Comeback soon, AA.
Moseydog: i just saw that it is on the website so some of what I just said is erroneous. But he didn't credit either one of us however. We are having a great time over here watching Georgia kill ASU while drinking lots of rum and coke. The LSU comeback is on as well.
3 pt game in the 4th and ESPN insists on running the Taste of the Town segment
Bob Davie is just bad tonight.
"These goalposts are unlike any others in all of college football because they have two uprights."
"Wake Forest was my sleeper pick to win the ACC before the season started... NOBODY picked them in the preseason to win the ACC."
Nobody? They were one of just 3 ACC schools ranked in the preseason, and they won the conference last year with the same QB... It's kinda hard to believe
No one picked em.
And then Mark Jones with "That was billboard material for FSU."
Hmm, sounds like (the degenerate gambler) Musberger has ASU +7...
Hooray for JMU over Appy State!
I was listening to it online via the ASU radio network. I have to hand it to their announcer. The booth is right under the JMU student section, and after a "Bullsh-t" chant, he commented that the JMU students were "showing their class" ...pause... "not that our ASU students are any different."
"He's gonna be first in line for the hot tub" - Mr. Britney Spears (Mike Patrick) on Jared Lee.
"Alabama explodes on Arkansas."
-Musberger
I just watched "The Last Boy Scout", and forgot that Verne was in it. Thank goodness he has a regular gig...
Barely-remembered highlights from LSU-AUB:
-At halftime, they showed Knowshon Moreno making a leap into the end zone in the ASU game and made offhand references to the controversy from the Central Michigan game. Try and find a clip of that.
-Who took the second timeout of the second half? Danielson kept saying it was Auburn because the play clock was running down, but the on-screen graphic gave it to LSU.
-I forget what the third thing was, but I think it was a booth thing as well.
At one point, Patrick said something like "If that was a read, then Hatch is dyslexic."
Hey Fairplay, don't be so huffy. I'll fix the lack of citation.
the concussion jokes were a bit much: " Hatch was just asked how many fingers were being held up and said 'Thursday'."
Sorry S2N, I lost quite a bit of money gambling Saturday but LSU helped make some of it up. sorry for being as Al Gore calls it "Snippy"
Giddy up! I'm actually home instead of the bar, and the Iowa game is on the deuce with Pam and Ray. Can't wait!
Getting ready to go to ASU-Georgia later tonight as well!