There are few things that are certain in this world, with the most famous two being death and taxes. Anything in Sports doesn't fall into that category because when the stars align just right, something like the "Miracle On Ice" can take place. Well, Terry Bradshaw didn't seem to think that was the case, and it was humanly impossible for the Bengals to beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh this last Sunday. How sure was he? Well let's go back and take a look....

It was announced earlier in the summer that the Cincinnati Bengals would be the subject of this "Hard Knocks" on HBO, and the time for its debut is upon us. The series will kick of next Wednesday, August 12th at 10pm, and should provide for some interesting television. Via HBO PR....

HBO Sports, NFL Films and the Cincinnati Bengals team up for an all-access look at what it takes to make it in the National Football League when HARD KNOCKS: TRAINING CAMP WITH THE CINCINNATI BENGALS debuts next month. The first sports-based reality series – and one of the fastest-turnaround reality series – kicks off its fifth season WEDNESDAY, AUG. 12 (10:00 p.m. ET/PT & 9:00 p.m. CT), exclusively on HBO and presented in HD. New hour-long episodes air subsequent Wednesdays at the same time, culminating in the Sept. 9 season finale, with regular encore plays on Thursdays.

“We are delighted that HARD KNOCKS will be returning this summer and placing the spotlight on head coach Marvin Lewis and the Cincinnati Bengals,” says Ross Greenburg, president, HBO Sports. “There will be plenty on the line during training camp for veterans, free agents and rookies alike, and we are eager to chronicle all the passion, heartache and achievement.”

“This is a fascinating team,” says NFL Films president Steve Sabol. “They’ve got a lot to prove to themselves and to the fans. As Coach Lewis has said, ‘This is a team with a chip on their shoulder.’ Training camp is a laboratory of human emotions and the Bengals have a compelling mix of personalities that should make for
dramatic television.”

Yes! Our prayers have been answered folks. A week or so ago, I mentioned that the Bengals were being considered for the HBO show Hard Knocks, and today the team will announce that they are accepting the cable channel's offer. Via the Cincy Inquirer....

The Bengals are expected to be officially named on Thursday as the team that will appear on HBO’s “Hard Knocks: Training Camp.”

The team has scheduled a noon press conference at Paul Brown Stadium to make “an announcement regarding a major development for the Bengals 2009 preseason."

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis and NFL Films President Steve Sabol are expected to be among the speakers.

The Bengals would be the fourth team to appear on the HBO series. Lewis was the defensive coordinator at Baltimore during the first season in 2001. Defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer appeared in the second season in 2002, which featured Dallas.

This wasn't a picture I'd seen before, I imagine it came post Super Bowl XL in Detroit for obvious reasons. It still amuses me greatly.

I feel bad for poor Cris Collinsworth in the halftime show, but I don't think "Bengals bars" exist in New York City. You can find Steelers fans anywhere. The Steelers start at the 22 after Rossum returns the kickoff. Willie Parker fumbles on 2nd and 10, and Johnathan Joseph returns it to the house for the score! Pittsburgh is reviewing it, to see if Parker was down.

The ref says it's no score, Parker was down before the ball came loose. This after Madden went on an extended rant on the fact that coaches are finding every way to get fumbles not called fumbles, or something along those lines. 3rd and 8 is caught short of the first down, and the Steelers will be punting.

I fear that NBC will wreck American Gladiators by robbing it of the cheesiness and the kitsch. It's not going to be nearly as enjoyable, if that ad is any indication. Palmer converts 3rd down with a pass to Antonio Chatman (whom I'm amazed is still in the league) and Kenny Watson gets the next two rushes. Ball's at the Pitt 40. Odd play as Palmer takes a knee, thinking Pitt had come across the line early -- Madden explains it as a casualty of the no-huddle, he hasn't called a play yet. 3rd and 14 is incomplete, and Allen Rossum takes the punt back to the Steeler 11.

This time, Willie Parker actually fumbles it and Cincy recovers to get the ball back. Two errant passes for Palmer, but he hits Henry on 3rd down at the 11 for a first down. Palmer rolls out on 1st and throws it away. 3rd and 4 is an incomplete pass, as Palmer has no one open and barely gets it away before he's hit. Shayne Graham will be coming on. His kick is up and good; 17-10, Steelers.

Regarding the commercials for Jared jewelers: you really want people knowing you bought your girlfriend or wife diamonds at a place called "the galleria of jewelry"? I'm thinking no. John is talking about "nasty" defensive and offensive linemen. I now have Janet Jackson's song on a loop in my head. Ben completes it for a first down to the tight end; Willie Parker then promptly rushes foor about four more on first down.

Hines Ward catches the latest third down pass and promptly shows us that he has obtained two tickets to the gun show.

That sandwich looked pretty good, now I'm all hungry. Anyone know what that's called and if it's a Pittsburgh delicacy or something? Ward ropes in another first down pass while falling down, and then pulls in the next pass for a touchdown. Kick is up and good, 24-10, Steelers. Ward now owns the Steelers' team receiving touchdowns record.

So, that's a Primanti Bros. sandwich (thanks, hammer1), which apparently consists of meat, cole slaw, vinegar, tomatoes, and french fries on huge hunks of bread (I would link to the restaurant site, but I think NBC mentioned the name and the site isn't loading well). Again, looks delicious. Palmer throws and hits Chad Johnson at their own 47 -- first time we've heard Ocho Cinco's name in a while.

"Have you seen anyone smile more than Hines Ward?" - JM. What, Tony Romo doesn't flash the pearly whites enough now?

Cincy is now at the Steeler 38 and making a run for it. Rudi Johnson to the 34. 3rd and 6 after Chad Johnson has a pass go over his head. Palmer sails the next pass over Chris Henry while getting rushed. 4th down, and they're going for it -- pass is incomplete and the Steelers get it back.

Willie Parker fumbles it again....oh wait, no, he's down again, and Marvin Lewis is gonna challenge it.

Speaking as a female (in regards to those stupid Jared commercials... and all jewelry commercials in general...) I'd much rather spend a couple grand on a plasma screen tv, xbox 360, a direcTV subscription... with NFL Sunday Ticket. - tiny350z

Swoon. No fumble, and Cincy can't catch a break on some of these calls. Not that they were wrong, but still...bad breaks.

"I think they've got too much stuff on, between the sleeves, the jerseys are wet..." - JM. Oh, come on, John, you know you want to see more AK-47s on the players. And Parker fumbles again this time for realz and loses the ball. Now, Omar Epps is going to challenge the call and try to bail Parker out again. Call's upheld, and Cincy takes over.

Palmer went for it on 1st down, tried to hit Ocho Cinco deep. Rudi rushes for 2, 3rd and 8 is incomplete as Palmer is hit while he throws. Larsen punts to Rossum, who goes out at his own 16. After a penalty puts the Steelers at the 5, two straight rushes get no yardage, and then Big Ben is sacked in the end zone for a safety -- except for a defensive holding call, which bails the Steelers out. Nice going, Leon Hall, but it looks like a BS call right now.

"A little ticky-tacky, huh?" - JM
"With a capital 'T.'" - AM

Johnathan Joseph picks off Roethlisberger on the next play, getting in front of Cedric Wilson. Cincy comes back on. Housh makes a nice catch and leans forward for a first and goal. Next pass is off the tips of Chad Johnson's fingers. Rudi Johnson gets stopped up big time on 2nd down. 3rd down pass is to Chris Henry, who brings it in, but his feet are out of bounds. The Bengals go for it on 4th, and it's batted down by Larry Foote. The Steelers get the ball back.

Pittsburgh goes three and out, and Sepulveda will be punting from the back of his end zone. Punt is up, fair caught -- and the flag is offsides on the Bengals, and it's a Steeler first down due to 4th and 3. Whoops. Willie Parker continues to be used as a time-chewer here. and now Gary Russell comes in for the same purpose.

NBC, seriously. You're pimping repeats of the Tonight Show that you've repcakaged as "best-ofs" during the writers' strike. Damn, that's desperation.

Wow, I'm surprised it took Al this long to get to Chris Henry's rap sheet. Palmer misses again downfield to him. I'm just trying to kill time here right now.

"You ever play in a game like this, John? Everyone's helmet looks like they're wearing Manny Ramirez's helmet." - AM
"I love it. I mean, this isn't a game where you stay clean. This game isn't pristine. THIS IS FOOTBALL!" - JM

John Madden would like to join Dan Hawkins of the University of Colorado and tell you that if you don't like dirty, messy football, go play intramurals, brother. Another incomplete pass by Palmer as we hit the two minute warning.

I love how NBC is promoting Colts-Ravens like it means something or will be competitive. The 4th down pass by the Bengals is complete to Chad Johnson, but short of the marker by three yards, and Al and John slag Johnson for going out of bounds even though there was no way he could catch the ball without doing so, it looks like.

This one's done, folks. Final score is 24-10, Steelers. Thanks for joining me, and see you next week for Colts-Ravens.

Ah, we're back in the Steel City once again this week, for a somewhat less than exciting NFL week, but hopefully we can get some offensive explosions out of this match-up. I think we're owed at least that, don't you?

Al Michaels just said the Steelers are poised to win the NFC North.
Moment of silence for Sean Taylor, of course, done before all games today. Classy. Jeff Reed kicks off and the returner is taken down at the 24 with a nice tackle. Carson Palmer rifles it for nine to T.J. Houshmanzadeh on the first play from scrimmage. Bengals get a first on a Pitt encroachment penalty. Worth noting, obviously, that safety Troy Polamalu is out for this game too. Chad Johnson takes the lateral and rushes it for a chunk, and 2nd down will be fairly short.

"What's the curricula at Swaggett?"- AM
"Whatever you want it to be." - JM

One of the Steelers' LBs went to a school called Swaggett, apparently. Palmer hits Housh on 3rd down for another first past midfield after a Rudi Johnson rush on 2nd down. Swing out to Ocho Cinco on first for about three yards. Looks like it's raining it Pittsburgh tonight. Cincy converts antoher 3rd and 11, this time via Palmer to Chris Henry. Rudi digs to the 25 for a few more. Palmer drills Housh again, but he's tackled short of the first and it's another 3rd down. Antonio Chatman converts it on a screen pass when the Steelers rush Palmer -- and 15 yards are added due to a face mask on safety Anthony Taylor.

Rudi powers in on 2nd and goal for the touchdown. Kick is up and good, and it's 7-0 for Cincy. Hot way to start for the Bengals, who can start playing spoiler (none of you actually think they can make the playoffs, right?)

Allen Rossum returns the kick off to the 20 yard line.

If he can beat a horse, he can beat a Stealer - konck

Anyone else thought that Madden wouldn't show up because Brett Favre was hurt? - Mookie

He was in mourning for most of Thursday night. Roethlisberger rifles the first pass over Nate Washington's head, Willie Parker gets stuffed on 2nd down. Steelers get a first via a hook-up by Big Ben to everyone's favorite half-Korean baller, Hines Ward.

"He has very strong and powerful legs." - JM, on Hines Ward.

Roethlisberger steps out of the pocket and hurls a pass that gets deflected and picked over the middle. Ward tipped it and a Bengal CB got it before it hit the ground.

It looks like Palmer always has a wideout open early. This is a demonstration of just how crucial having Chris Henry around is -- you can't double team everyone. Next pass after a Kenny Watson rush is broken up by DeShea Townsend. I expect Madden to remind us one more time that Palmer calls the plays in the no-huddle. 3rd and 2 is thrown behind Watson, and it's punting time. Rossum fair catches it around the 20.

"I guess if you're doing a Steeler game, you've gotta be an expert in horticulture." - AM, making a grass joke. It'll be first and 15 after a false start. Hearing Andrea Kremer talking about rotating the balls makes me giggle for obvious reasons. Hearing John Madden talk about the wet spot on the ball makes me shiver for even more obvious reasons.

Rush for a few yards, making it 2nd and nine. Parker gets smashed on the 2nd down rush behind the line of scrimmage. No blocking whatsoever right there. 3rd and 12 is incomplete and Cincy will get the ball for the third time so far this quarter. Chatman catches the punt with good field position.

The teams are now trading three and outs, and I really hope this doesn't last for too long. Parker rushes for 3 yards, but that'll be coming back about half the distance as Kendall Simmons gets flagged for unnecessary roughness. 2nd down to Ward is a short completion, and 3rd down is incomplete. Punting again, and basically, Ben and the receivers aren't together right now. Shite punt by Daniel Sepulveda, around the Pitt 40 -- and there's a flag, too. Ineligible man downfield will put them at about the 34 of the Steelers. Two rushes by Cincy and we've got the end of the first quarter -- this game's making me sleepy already.

speaking of commercials, anyone else think these new Michelob commercials are a complete rip off of the Samuel Adams ones? It's like they aren't even trying. - Kit

Beer commercials are not necessarily known for originality except in some extreme cases.

Anyone else feel like this Nissan commercial (you know the one) is becoming torturous? If I had a $ for every time I've seen it...- Matthew

The Ford Edge one with the woman with the huge eyes staring out the panoramic roof is going to get about as annoying quickly. The Bengals can't convert the 3rd down pass, as Palmer throws it high. Shayne Graham's going to try a field goal from 43 out, and he hooks it to the right. Steelers get the ball back.

Tonight would be a pretty good night for NBC to start advertising that NHL Amp'd Energy Winter Classic considering Pittsburgh's team's in it, but knowing them they won't at all.- ryanmcd29

Your wish is NBC's command, Ryan, they just pimped it. It's weird to see a hockey promotion on a broadcast network.

Al, "inactivating" is not a word. Please remember this for future use when you try and verb adjectives. Big Ben to Ward for a first down on the pass.

Andrea notes "other issues" regarding Najeh Davenport's being out for the game. We presume he wans't able to take his pre-game dump in the back closet. Throw to Heath Miller for 2nd and 1, Parker then gets the first down. More Fast Willie for a few extra on 1st down. Basically, this is all Parker right now as the Steelers are within the Bengals-10 yard line with a 2nd and goal right now -- and Roethsliberger rolls out, runs, and leaps over the Cincy CB for a touchdown. Jeff Reed's kick is up and good, and it's tied 7-7.

One would have thought Marvin Lewis would have challenged that.

I love this Eli Manning Citizen-Eco Drive watch ad: every time it says he's unstoppable, I keep thinking of how many picks he's thrown lately. Doesn't matter that he led his team back to a win this week.

Oh....that's not good, Glenn Holt. Fumbling the kickoff at the 19, and the Steelers recover. Ben throws to Heath Miller and it's called a completion due to a force out. 1st and goal, Parker gets two yards.

"When Cincinnati wins the turnover battle, they're 4-0. When they don't, they're 0-7, and their record is 4-7." - AM. Ow, ow, ow. Thank you for the blinding flash of the obvious, Al. The drive stalls at the Bengal 3 yard line, and Jeff Reed's FG try is up and good. 10-7, Steelers.

If a Citizen Eco-Drive is as unstoppable as Eli, I think I'll stick with the $15 watch I bought at Wal-Mart. - Joel

Nicely done. The Bengals start at the 30 after Glenn Holt manages not to fumble the kickoff this time. We have a shot of the inactive Cousin Itt...er...Troy Polamalu, and I predict he will become nothing but hair if he keeps growing the mane and the beard over the next few years. Cincy TE Reggie Kelly is the latest receiver to get a catch from Palmer, and stretches for a first down. Palmer has to cover up after getting hit and losing the ball on the next play.

I think John Madden just circled Franco Harris while talking about Pitt's front seven.....- AA

Cousin Itt is looking to top Franco is the Steeler Beard Hall of Fame. The Steelers stop up the Bengals on 3rd and long. Rossum takes the Kyle Larsen punt up five yards to the 34 yard line of the Steelers. Pitt has moved it past midfield and to the Bengal 32 as the 2 minute warning comes along.

Chronicling the five choices for annoying ad right now:

a) Pizza Hut Double Deep ad
b) Michelob ripping off Sam Adams ad
c) Nissan Rogue ad with the shape of that ball moving game
d) Eli Manning's watch ad
e) the Jeep ad with the animals singing "Rock Me Gently" (which Anon just reminded us of)

There's something truly annoying about animating animals to sing bad 70s rock, and it's even worse when burgers are involved, like the wind-up burger in the Wendy's ad singing Air Supply.

The Steelers are now around the Bengals' 13 yard line. The 3rd down play gets a first down at the Bengals' 3 via a pass to Nate Washington, and the Steelers spike it to save the time out. Roethlisberger rolls out on the bootleg to the right and throws it in to Hines Ward for six. Kick is good, and it's 17-7, Steelers.

That's how we'll end the half, too. See you in the second half thread, folks.

Hi folks, S2N here again. I've returned after a week off and obviously missed the game that would have been particularly exciting in Eagles-Pats, but I think Bengals-Steelers should do us all right this week; hopefully the grass at Heinz Field isn't as atrocious this week.

Anyway, document stupidity by the NBC pre-game crew and drop knowledge about this week in the NFL in comments. See you for the first half.