"Matthew Stafford is one of the best quarterbacks in the SEC because he throws the ball straight." - Lee Corso

As opposed to the other QB's that throw curveballs.

"THATS A HUGE HOLE!" - Pam Ward lol

Im impressed that Pat Hayden has stayed in the top five in spite of not broadcasting a game for the last two weeks. I cant wait for this afternoon

"a red shirt freshman who has no experience coming in". - Ray Bentley

uh yea that'swhy he's a RS freshman.

"I saw somehwere they are #9 in the nation in enrollment after only 10 years of football". - Ray Bentley

Does that mean people go to USF for the football team?

and stopped at the 25 yard line as he was tripped up by John Holmes - Dave Pasch

he didn't say what tripped him just that he was

"What was the pig head sitting in?"

"What was the pig head sitting in?"
-Ray Bentley

"how about pig head at 9am?" - erin andrews

Honey if that's what youre calling it I'll take it.

my mistake, that was my boy Andre Ware.

He's my dark horse. I know he's started slow, but honestly, his upside is tremendous.

Dear God, we've had six segments on tailgating across both ESPNs in the last twenty minutes.

Um, also, I'm pretty sure i just saw a sign that said "ESPN is Bullshit" right in the middle of the screen.

"Their quickness and suddenness of their speed is getting to North Carolina."

Ray Bentley on USF's speed. This guy is a gold mine; I've almost forgotten about Mike Gottfried.

Pam has Trump hair.

"That is hitting a man right in the mustache." - Andre Ware.

(I request we break out the "The Greatness That Is Andre Ware" tag again.)

TWSS- Is said ESPN is Bullish. I was so upset it wasn't what you said.

"So where's the shakeup?" - Dave Pasch
"The shakeup is in Booty." - Andre Ware

(They were talking about Ware's top five quarterbacks in the country.)

The tailgating segments are because they're calling this "tailgating weekend" or "tailgating weekend in america"

I dont care I get to hear Erin Andrews say the phrase "....head at 9am".

"He's a little undersized down in there." - Ray Bentley

during the Duke/Navy game on CSTV:
Lewis did a good job of laying that one right in the hole

don't know who the announcers are

Ah, CBS' SEC coverage or waiting for Doug Flutie and the rest of the ABC crew to say something asinine...

Dear, God, AA, what have you done to me?

"Tim Tebow really is huge in the lower half"-announcer in the UF game

Michigan gets a PSU fumble on the 15. Fowler: “There’s a Graham Cracker for Graham”

"Is my bald spot shining into the camera?" - Paul Maguire
"Yeah, can you put something on there to block it?" - Brad Nessler
"I don't even have sunscreen for it." - Maguire
"Oh, and you've got some tape on your pants." - Nessler

Trindon Holliday with a 33 yard TD:

Verne: Its Christmas now!

"I don't see any players with shorts on the field, and if no one's wearing shorts, [Trindon Holliday's] the fastest guy on the field." - Gary Danielson

Missouri Tigers Radio Network Scoreboard Update: "Nebraska KNOCKS OFF Ball State."

mmm...homerism between mediocre Big 12 North teams.

no MORE ridiculous than the USF taiglaters...is "the Animal" James Lauranitis's (spelling?) father SCREAMING the Ohio State lineups.

Verne Lundquist: Time now for the AFLAC...Duck's late...(*AFLAC!*)...trivia of the game.

tebow wasn't kissing his reciever-it was tony joiner, their safety

Gary Danielson: We have found my jacket!

Maybe next week they can find his ability to state things other than cliches and he can lose his obsession with the obvious.

Just sayin'.

someone stole gary danielson's jacket, i guess, so they showed them in the booth with just a shirt and tie, danielson said, "i think it was a guy in a purple shirt...maybe green", and verne lundquist told him he looked great.

anyway a few minutes later danielson said something like, "we have an update: they found my jacket". then they exchanged a couple sentences i didn't pay attention before verne said, "you cant run very far in an airport with a cbs sports jacket"

Maguire: This is obviously a fumble.
Bob Griese: Well, not for everybody.

So it's only a fumble for Penn State, but not for Michigan.

Let's all go home and work on our parallel reality theorems!

I'm not even going to touch the Danielson "he's throwing better backwards than he is forwards" comment.

Too easy. I'm no cherry picker.

By the way, Texas Tech was up on OKState 35-28. At the half. Do I listen to Maguire, Danielson, or the announcers on FSN trying to deal with the madness of this EA Sports NCAA Football 2008 gone mad? I'm so lost...

Nessler: There's no holding hands in football.

We've got another Nessler "Ol' Dirty" reference. Oh, Good, I was hoping this would become a theme. If by "hoping" you mean "dreading like I dread Hell."

Mark Jones: Felix Jones! And he's not looking back!

*tackled from behind*

(silence)

ahh...

Dave Lapham: He wasn't expecting the fastball... I guess he was expecting the changeup.

uh....huh.

It's actually spelled Haden, not Hayden.

On Gameday, after talking about how nobody in Boston can name anyone from the Boston College program (presumably because its a pro town), Lee Corso said..."Boston College is the best team in the Big East."

The irony...

I've lost count of the tailgate features I've seen today.

Seriously. I'm getting fatter just watching this.

Dan Fouts: He's going for the endzone

*throws the ball to the 2 yard line*

I miss Keith Jackson.

It's not Verne Lundquist mentioning you during a broadcast, but a college football postgame show on WDFN said this was a good place.....although they thought Chris Spielman was a pretty good broadcaster (oops)
They also mentioned Andre Ware was the last black man to have a box haircut (like early '90s rapper Kwame)

Why were Mark Jones and Bob Davie going on and on about how small Darren McFadden's calves were?
When Mark Jones asked Stan Verrett how big his calves were, he ignored them
Much respect to Stan for that!

Johnson goes up the middle: Dan Fouts.

Thanks for letting me know Anon 8:59

Anon 9:08- I saw that too....it was highly awkward.

Just an aside that may have been covered here (or somewhere) in the past.

There are two Dicks and a Nutt on the Arkansas football team.

"Important question - what is Britney (Spears)doing with her life?" - Mike Patrick, unprovoked, in overtime of UGA/ALA

Mike Patrick: I have a question. What is Britney doing with her life?

Todd Blackledge: Britney who?

Mike Patrick: Britney Spears!

Todd Blackledge: Why do you care!?

I think Blackledge misses Verne Lundquist. I know I would. Mike Patrick is horrible.

Oh my God, what is wrong with Patrick? First, tomatoes and now this.

I found a couple:

"A fake is like a pair of shoes for women that go into a shoe store, they can't not buy them."-Charles Arbuckle

"[totally random]..And he's a pretty good looking guy."-Ray Bentley describing Jim Leavitt.

"Both those defensive backs were wearin' those WRs like a pair of spandex shorts."-Rene Nadeau

Patrick wins the contest for the year with his Britney comment.

Seriously....that was so dreadful I had to make an individual post for it.

Is it on the talking points for EVERY ESPN GAME to talk about Notre Dame and how wonderful Jimmy Clausen is? We get it. He's a blue chipper. ENOUGH.

UW-UCLA - After the first down marker presented by overstock.com: “It might be all about the O for them, for me it’s all about the P”

"The referee threw the flag!"- Bob Griese, Umm else would have?

Hello? One of the officials on the field is specifically called the "referee." He's the one stationed in the backfield, watching for holding, late hits on the QB, stuff like that. Do a little research before you attempt to make fun of someone.