Sports announcers are all over the place when it comes to TV commercials these days. From deli sandwich shops to car rental companies, they pretty much run the gammit of industries. Well at least I thought so until I saw this ad featuring NFL on FOX analyst Jimmy Johnson. Yes, Jimmy has branched out into "male enhancement"....

"Go long with Extenze....I do."- Jimmy Johnson

I mean, you've got to jump on advertising opportunities when and where you can, but I would probably have truned that one down.

(Via Sportress of Blogitude)

I wish I was joking about that above headline, but according to the Miami Herald, it's true. FOX analyst Jimmy Johnson was all set to go on Survivor, but after one of his physicals revealed a blockage in an artery, he was told to stay home....

The need to compete did sneak up on Johnson in the oddest of ways recently, though. Survivor is one of his favorite shows. And he wanted to be on it. So he went out back on the private beach, Rhonda with the video camera, and explained to the producers why he should be allowed even though he worked for a rival network. He filled out thick files of paperwork and signed contracts. He got his yellow-fever shots. And he was headed to Africa for 45 days of seclusion when the doctor called about some of his tests. One artery to his heart was totally blocked, another blocked 70 percent. He wouldn't be going anywhere. He has lost 30 pounds since. No more big bowls of butter-pecan ice cream before bed. And now the big, bad leader of violent men sheepishly orders the lighter dish when Honeybun says no to the prime-rib wrap.

Dammit! How awesome would it have been to have that little leprechaun running around on an island with kids half his age? I'm thinking that now that his health is better, he needs to revisit this idea of his.

Jimmy Johnson living in luxury with football a distant memory (Miami Herald)

I forget a lot of the time that the NFL on FOX is shot in Los Angeles, but you couldn't forget that last Friday night as a few the boys from the pregame show attacked the town. According to TMZ (via SbB), the trio consisted of Terry Bradshaw, Michael Strahan and the elfish Jimmy Johnson, and the gossip hub has a video of the boozers for you to watch as well.

While a lucid Strahan and red-faced Johnson, don't disappoint, it's Terry Bradshaw and a random lady friend that steal the show. Both Strahan and Johnson answered questions from the cameraman (Strahan more than Johnson), but a seemingly tipsy Bradshaw completely ignores the guy while getting into the passenger seat of a car. What happens next is beyond awesome. Just watch for the very attractive female who slides into frame around the 1:20 mark....

I've watched enough of these to know what that was all about. That is what those in the business call "interference", and it's kind of ironic that they are doing it to an ex-Quarterback. I'm sure it seemed unnecessary to you for her to go that far, but people will go to any lengths to stop photos of themselves when they're drunk.

My favorite part is obviously when she says, "You wanna go street? I'll give you street s**t!", but the best move was her laying across the passenger side of the car to block the camera. I don't know about you, but there was a part of me that wanted that thing to just speed off right then.

I don't want her hurt badly or anything....just a toe or two taken out. Now where's my man Gary?! We're ready to roll!!!

Broadcasters Who Booze Together (TMZ)

It was just a year ago that we were saying the exact same thing about another Giant in Tiki Barber, and apparently it's now a right of passage to talk trash about your teammates before entering the TV World. Newly hired FOX Analyst Michael Strahan had this to say about ex-teammate and current Giant, Jeremy Schockey....

"I don't think you gain much by keeping a guy around. Regardless of how well he plays for you, there's always that tension, and that's one thing you can't have if you're expected to go back and repeat."

Strahan added Shockey might do his job well, but that doesn't mean he would be happy.

"You don't need that out of one of your leaders," the recently retired defensive end said. "So I think the best thing for them and for Shockey is if they have the opportunity, let him go."

That's the kind of thing Fox will be looking for from Strahan, who signed a four-year deal believed to be worth about $2.3 million a year after fielding offers from other networks.

I'm not saying it's not refreshing to have honesty in the Sports Television world, but you might want to wait at least until the start of the season before bashing your former team. We saw how unaccepted Tiki Barber became before last year and it would be a shame for the same thing to happen to Strahan (even if he is right).

Neil Best also has this tidbit to share as well in the article....

"It's a one-way contract, so the players, you have no rights," he said. "They can come in and say, 'You suck, get out of here,' but I can't walk into the team and say, 'You know, this team really sucks. I want to go somewhere else."'

Eventually Johnson cut him off, saying, "Michael, that is bull," and argued bonuses amount to guarantees. Soon the entire cast was arguing, with Strahan and Terry Bradshaw trading barbs about their respective divorces while Fox Sports president Ed Goren beamed.

"Save it for the show!" Fox Sports chairman David Hill shouted.

Greaaaaaaaat. They're already yelling at each other. If only Caliendo was there as Madden to moderate. Ugh.

Strahan: Giants should dump Shockey (Newsday)

Just a brief note from a FOX Sports Press Release but apparently Chris Rose and Jimmy Johnson will have a guest tonight. They will be joined by a current NCAA coach during their pregame and halftime shows for tonight's BCS Championship Game coverage.

Urban Meyer will be on the set to get you hyped for a night full of band shots and Thom Brennaman calling LSU, Hawaii. Live-Blog and/or Open Thread (haven't decided yet) will start around 7:30, and hopefully Meyer gives us something exciting tonight (unlike Herm Edwards).

This cracked me up during the pregame show. Great job on the anthem by American Idoler Katherine McPhee, but someone forget to tell Chris Rose, Riggins and Jimmy Johnson about the flyover....

LOOK OUT JIMMY!

So who's ready for a weekly feature of ex-Cowboy coaches debating BCS Standings on an NFL Show (just shoot me now)? For some reason (that's completely beyond me) the NFL on FOX has decided to hire Barry Switzer to join the pregame show.

Fox Sports announced Tuesday that Barry Switzer is joining the cast of its Fox NFL Sunday pregame show. Switzer will debate ex-Cowboys field general Jimmy Johnson in a weekly "Coaches Corner" segment and analyze NFL action and college football's BCS standings.

Johnson said Fox colleague Terry Bradshaw will referee the debates. "Terry will keep us separated," he jokes. Johnson added that ex-Cowboys coach-turned new ESPN football analyst Bill Parcells visited him in the offseason to talk football.

Ugh. When are they going to learn? My Redskin Fandom aside.....is there anything more annoying on this planet than an ex-Cowboys' coach??? Not only can you enjoy Barry Switzer on television this season, but on XM radio as well (FYI- I got a press release on this but didn't think I'd waste your time telling you about it).

Former Cowboys coaches go head-to-head on Fox (USA Today)

Actually a lot of things. I don't think I've ever read an article with more quotes than this one, but it's pretty awesome. Among the topics that Bradshaw comments on with his hometown paper are: Tim Rattay, Ratings, FOX's Pregame Show, Hitting a Lady in the Face with a Football, JaMarcus Russell, OBGYNs, The WAC Conference and Scheduling, Howie Long's kids and my personal favorite.....People throwing Beer Cans at Jimmy Johnson.

"You don't want to be in Philadelphia and say they don't have a chance to win today because of this... Jimmy Johnson just took a beating," Bradshaw said. "We had a full can of beer thrown at Jimmy and it hit the awning right above his head. If it would have hit him it'd been the hospital or could have killed him.

Yeah I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have killed him, but that would have f'ing hurt. When I was in Highschool (Way back in 19 dickity two. We had to say dickity cause the Kaiser had stolen our word for 20.) I saw a kid get blasted with a Hawaiian Punch Can in the grill. Not Pretty.

Sorry for the diatribe.....back to Terry. He's also taking shots at the 49ers organization for getting rid of fellow LA Tech grad Tim Rattay....

"I don't understand it because Tim's not someone who's a problem. He's a good locker room guy," Bradshaw said. "I don't know why in San Francisco that the fans got on him. That's a sorry-assed football team. Horrible offensive line."

Great stuff all-around from Bradshaw. And just for good measure......about that lady???

"I hit a lady in the face with a football. Knocked her down. She deserved it, though. The stuff she was saying."

Nice.



Bradshaw Speaks His Mind (Shreveport Times)