There's no Pam today, so we're playing a man down.

That right there is the line of the week.

Glad you caught onto that one this early Steve.

"I don't think I've ever seen this much speed on the field by both teams." Paul McGuire

Apparently while Paul was doing NFL games in the 90's, he was unaware that Miami and FSU played each other.

Was it me or did it look like Brad Nessler had a black right eye?
Maybe he was trying to extend Breast Awareness Month...

"Tom Arnold from Ottumwa, Iowa -- his movie career turned about as successful as Robert Gallery's pro career." - Dave Pasch, after a segment proclaiming Arnold the Iowa Hawkeyes' biggest fan. ZING!

Dave Pasch: "The Fab Five had their championships vacated." What championships?

In the Rutger's game: Griese, you got a wet ball!

I'm sure Nessler, Maguire, and Griese taped that whole segment with them in Three Stooges masks, but it's entirely appropriate.

I'm a little behind in the iowa game, and just saw the Tom Arnold thing. DISTURBING.

Nessler: "The only player in the Big East to win a Heisman Trophy? Trick question: Gino Torretta for Miami in 1992."
Griese: "But Miami wasn't in the Big East at the time."
Nessler: "Yes they were."

After a nasty hit leaves the WVU defender woozy:

"He's seeing double right now. Just like Maguire on Thursday night." - Nessler

From the UMD-Clemson game:

"This is just a reminder, but there really isn't a yellow line on the field at the first down marker."

No, really??!?!

^^^ Forgot to mention that this nugget of wisdom was provided by announcer Dave LaMont.

"both offensive coordinators are changing their game plans already as the quartebacks are having problems with their ballistics and keeping their spirals tight". - David Norrie

"You cut yourself shaving, you bleed for a week" - Gary Danielson. I didn't realize he was a hemophilliac!

"Boom...goes the dynamite." Verne Lundquist

I think you called me "Dummy" on the blog, unless someone else is Dummy and beat me to it. :)

Actual quote from Craig James, "Can you get it up every week. . . consistently?"

Hi Kyle, I'm Kyle. Good call on Craig James.

Tim Brando during Florida-Georgia, giving highlight of Nebraska-Texas:

"At some point the famed Black Jersey defense was going to play like the Black Jersey defense of this year." (as Texas mounts comeback to go ahead)

Words aren't exact, except for the "Black Jersey" part...Timmy, they're the "Blackshirts". Shirt and jersey are synonymous, but what you said really isn't.

Paraphrasing somewhat:

"That scoring drive for Florida was like the story of the scorpion and the turtle. The scorpion asks the turtle for a ride across the river and promises not to sting him. The turtle accepts because the scorpion says 'If I sting you, we both die because I will drown.' Midway across, the scorpion stings the turtle, who turns asks 'Why?' The scorpion says 'It's what I do.'"
- Danielson

Certainly one of the more surreal tangents I've ever heard a color commentator go off on.

Bottom line, quality, like I said, down field, tough football game, linebacker, boy like I said, bottom line, dislodged the football, I tell ya, shoulder, separation, momentum carries, I tell ya, good job, good job, good job, Sean Lee, good job, Kinlaw has good speed, good job, I tell ya, like I said, backfield, H back, good hard running, I tell ya, on. that. play., good job, tackling, seggin dahn, exactly, like I said, motion, I tell ya, as well, running the fooball, drives offensively, good, defensivley, makin some plays, pick up the load, situation, hard run, inta dat secindary, HUGE first dahn, boy I tell ya, knockin dahn, hustle, foot. ball, sideline, OHIO STATE FOOTBALL, pick up at the defensive end position, comin off tha edge that time, boy, I tell ya, mismatch, foohball, boy, from the outside linebagger positon, you talk about speed and hardnosed foohball, point of attack, get off tha blawk, formation, coveradge, right defensive end position, field position, SPECIAL TEAMS, reverse spin awn it, good job getting off the block, use your quickness, use your hands, good job, getting off tha blawk, boy, I tell ya, line of scrimmidge, boy that time, they got pressure, JUST enough for the first down.

Signed,
Jack "Dobre Shunka" Ham


Boy, I tell ya, I swear that's what he sounds like.

Don't have the exact quote, but during the fourth quarter of the KU-TAMU game, Bob Davie repeatedly discussed TAMU's LOSS to Nebraska last week.

In the OSU-PSU game:

Why is it that professionals consistently do not know the rules of the game? It comes up at least once every game that a receiver MUST maintain possession of the ball if he goes to the ground, and yet every week they act like a clear incompletion is a catch because they had control of the ball when they hit the ground. Is it too much to ask to get a basic explanation of this rule? They act like people are idiots 99% of the time, and then misrepresent rules and prove that they are idiots the rest. God I hate Brent Musberger, and Herbstreit should know better.

during the KU/A&M game, KU got called for offsides and Bob Davie said (maybe slightly paraphrased), "KU is #2 in the nation in...they have had the second fewest penalties called on them...they're the second most penalized team in the country. Did I get that out right?" The other guy said, "yes, you did" despite the fact that what Davie said made no sense at all. Then a minute later they showed a chart for penalties/game and KU was #2 (as in second fewest penalties per game). At this point, Davie felt compelled to ridicule penalties/game for being an over rated stat since #1 was Iowa St. and LSU/USC/Florida were down in the hundreds. Of course, no one ever mentions that stat when talking about good teams because, obviously, it doesn't matter that much. Also, Rock Chalk Jayhawk

Mike Patrick - "Tofu's a doorstop." What? How's Britney, Mike?

Arizona State girls just can't put down that notoriety of being the most morally questionable ladies of the nation.

http://img142.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=41314_asu_slUts_122_123lo.JPG

During Tenn-SC game:

"Captain Munnerlyn just made a major interception and he gets a battlefield promotion." - Mike Patrick

"I am going to have to see what is going on in Britney Spears' life before we come back." - Mike Patrick

Patrick and Blackledge just talked about the Britney thing. Patrick - "She's got a new doublewide!"

hahah Mike Patrick just made fun of himself with a nother britney spears reference he said something like "maybe i need to ask about Britneys life again."

"And South Carolina is going to take this to overtime. I'm going to have to think about what is happening in Britney Spears' live before we come back." - Mike Patrick

"I wonder if she's watching tonight." - Todd Blackledge

"I think she just bought a new double wide." - Mike Patrick

"and i'm going to have to think about what's going on in britney spears' life... She's got a new double wide I heard..."

Glad to know they're paying attention to the end of the Tenn-SC game.

I love listening to Mike Patrick-called games because anymore he's just so over-the-top.

"They're not going to get a lot of pressure on a continuous basis unless they're bringing pressure." -- James Hasty

From Maryland-Clemson on ABC this afternoon.

On the days' wrap-up for the GameDay gang from State College, Lee Corso said of his Top 5:
Corso: "I've got Boston College in at #5 because I had to get someone from the Big East in my Top 5."
Fowler: "You know they're in the ACC?"
Corso: "Someone from the East Coast. They should be in the Big East."
Corso & Herbstreit were both campaigning for the Pac-10 to sign a deal with ESPN to "be seen."

That's at least twice this season Corso has mentioned BC being in the Big East.

Interesting thought about the Pac-10 signing with ESPN. How dare one of the majors spurn the WWL! In fact, Fox Sports Net is on about 5 different regional sports networks on my cable, so I had no trouble seeing USC-Oregon, etc.

I was stunned yesterday when I got a chance to see all three games; I don't have the sports tier, and FSN games here are usually pre-empted by college hockey and high school girls' volleyball.

FSN could hit Pac-10 football out of the park if it wasn't, well...FOX. So often a Pac-10 game gets blacked out for poker or some other silliness as anon points out.