An actual photo of Plaxico Burress phoning it in.

"You hang up first!....Nooo You hang up first!! C'mon, you do it!! Noo I love you more! Yes I do! Uh-huh! Oh stupid Eli is calling on the other line, I gotta go...Bye Tiki-wiki!!!!"

It's the banker.

"I'll bring all of my glasses and all of my shoes...so I have them."

"What you think Crazy-ass Coughlin is up to, actin' all nice and shit..."

"Tiki? Uh .. Tiki ... let me think ... Tiki .. nope .. never heard of him. Sorry I can't accept the collect charges."

The anonymous source who told Chris Mortensen that Eli would be out for a month.

"No, honey, I can't say that right now. The guys are all here! No, I'm not embarrassed by you, that's just - okay, fine. I'll say it. I love you, Drew Rosenhaus."

"No, you have the wrong number, no one by the name Chad Pennington works here."

Beyotch! You better have my mutha fuckin' money here by halftime or Ima break my good foot off in yo' ass! -click-

Damn Tiki never pays nobody back on time.

Hugging Harold Reynolds - f'in hilarious.

"I want you to take Howard Stern off the air."

"But sir, this is the Food and Drug Administration..."

London calling.

Hello, Jenny? Is this 867-5309?

Hi Mom, how do I spell my name again?

"Yo, what the f--k you mean 'this is 1993, and I want my tilted visor back?' That sh*t ain't funny, Tiki!"

"Sorry, I gotta go. Elisha is in the fetal position and crying again."

Thanks, GSpud.

Practice? We talking about Practice? Come on Tiki, it's Practice man.

Wha chu mean this ain't an iPhone? But I usin' it.

Yeah, that's extra pepperoni on that pizza. Oooh, and make sure that gets charged to Tiki Barber's account. Thanks.

"Hello, is this Manning Quarterbacks Inc? Yes, I was just calling to ask about your return policy. Why yes, I am calling about the Eli Model..*click* Hello? Hello?"

"Hey Joey! Joey Porter! Party over at Pete Doherty's after the game. I'll drive, you bring the eightballs."

"Yea...Yea...what? My visor's what? Crooked?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Shit."

Is there a Hugh Jass in the house? Is Harry Sachs there? Can I speak with Pepi Roni?

ppftfpftt!!!

Hello, Giants sideline, this is Plex ... hey, how ya doin'? ... Good, good ... Coach Coughlin? Lemme see ... Um, can he call you back? ... Naw, Eli's OK. He ain't thrown a pick. Yet. ... He just rippin' the side judge a new one ... Yeah, he got that vein poppin' out the side of his head, like he gonna have an aneurysm or somethin' ... Aw, dayum! Osi gettin' paid today! Gotta go, we back on offense. Tell Bussie we gotta roll some night, man.

<click>

Man, Tiki just will not shut up.

Ok Mum, I will put my visor on straight

So simple a caveman could do it...my ass!

"Dawg, I'm tellin' you, it goes 'Break me off a piece of that foot-ball cream.' ... Man, you stupid. Hold up a second.

Eli, what the fuck I tell you?! I ain't braidin' ya hair when I'm on
the phone!

Man, I'm tellin' you that boy gay."

A reference to The Office and Eli Manning's immmasculinity in the same post. I win.

The one in the row with the huge tits. Tell her it's room number 1675 at the Four Seasons.

Sean Salisbury? What the fuck he want? This ain't no fuckin cell phone.

I don't know who it was man, but one o' dem boys let one *loose* down here by the bench man! Musta been Strahan - muthafucka always be eatin' right before gametime...

"Naw dawg...section 117. Shorty's in a plaid skirt...lookin' like she got red hair. Yeah...that girl right there. Whatchoo mean that's a dude? I'm lookin' right at her, that ain't no dude. Ah damn, did he just call you a bloody yank?"