I was in Baltimore last night and it was lovely. Had dinner outside with the Awful GF, watched some crappy punk band play outside of the ESPN Zone, and had a beer or two at a local establishment. So why do I hate Baltimore so much? This is why....

Look, I get what these people are trying to do. The public outcry for this Vick thing is amazing and out of control at the same time. You then try to compare it to some other arrests that have been made in the league. Yada, Yada, Yada.

Again, guys....all guys....never compare anything to rape. It's classless and it's never going to fly. Especially with Nancy Grace, CNN Sports Anchor Larry Smith...

Out to Larry Smith, CNN sports correspondent and CNN anchor. What`s Vick afraid of? Come on. He`s been in front of the camera a million times. What`s so hard about declaring your innocence?

LARRY SMITH, CORRESPONDENT: Yes, well, that`s -- he`s been in a lot of trouble lately, when you think about all the other incidents, and this is just the worst one of all. Keep in mind, too, that while Kobe Bryant is a situation we can sort of compare this to, this really is much worse. Not only can you argue that the crimes are much worse in terms of, you know, killing dogs and that kind of thing, but as an NFL starting quarterback, you are the most visible face in that city. I`ve said all along, in fact, you know, if you go through and, you know, very quickly name 10 mayors of major cities in the country...

GRACE: Larry Smith, did I just hear you say...

SMITH: ... you could have a harder time doing that...

GRACE: ... mistreatment of...

SMITH: ... than naming 10 NFL starting quarterbacks.

GRACE: Did I just hear Larry Smith, CNN sports correspondent and anchor, state that crimes on a dog are much worse than crimes on a woman? Did I hear that?

SMITH: I`m sorry. You -- I`m saying they could be. I`m not arguing for which is worse, which one is worse. I`m just saying that in terms of his visibility is much worse. His visibility is much worse than what Kobe Bryant`s is. Kobe Bryant is a superstar in the NBA, but at the same time, he plays in Los Angeles, which is a city full of stars. Michael Vick is the most visible person in the city of Atlanta, maybe ever in the history of Atlanta sports.

God that title works on so many levels, but I'm referring to this quote specifically, "I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do and... FLIP OUT... all I wanna know is one thing... who's coming with me?"

Why do I bring that up? Well ESPN will have it's entire "New" Studio Team at the Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony this Saturday. And guess who's emceeing again....It's our good friend Chris Berman!

Trey Wingo will be your host and he will be joined Tom "Retard" Jackson, and newest analyst Emmitt Smith. Smith will no doubt kiss Irvin's butt, but I'm really hoping for Irvin to fly off the handle and start yelling "He Stole My Job!" (a la John Turturro in Secret Window..."You Stole My Stories!")

NFL Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony- Saturday, 6PM, ESPN

Other Inductees Include: Gene Hickerson, Bruce Matthews, Charlie Sanders, Thurman Thomas and Roger Wehrli.

P.S.- Cocaine is a helluva drug.

P.P.S.- I will be boycotting this ceremony until Art Monk is a member. I will then attend said ceremony and beat the crap out of Peter King. I don't care if he voted for him last year.

(Usually) Everyday (usually around noon) I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful (or two) of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Tuesday's Winners.....














"For the first time in his career, Beltre is only shitting on a player, instead of a team."- JK

"Continuing baseball's long, proud history of hazing, rookie Travis Metcalf finds himself on the business end of a particularly nasty Dutch Three-Bagger."- Oops Pow Surprise

"No, Adrian, it's step, shuffle, ball change, then kick! Take it from the top, and don't forget jazz hands this time!"- Shea Guevara

"I fart in your general direction! Go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"- Anon (Monty Python...Winner!)
____________________________

Are you funny enough to create a headline of NASCAR Driver Kevin Harvick's Wife feeling on a headless JP Losman? (Photo from SI.com)


Daily Links:

What You Need To Know If You Have A Girl In Your Fantasy League (Epic Carnival)
Which Other NFLers Should Wrestle (Pacman Jonesin)
So You Want to Buy Rod Becks House Huh? (Red Sox Monster)
American Gladiators The Video Game Revisited (My Brain Says Rage)
It Ain't Easy Being The Player To Be Named (The Feed)
Wait...The Trade Deadline Was Yesterday? (Nyjer Please)
Golfing With Strippers Is About The Best Idea I've Ever Heard (Signal To Noise)
Henry Shaves Tiger Woods? (The Beautiful Game)
A Woman Reporter Has Been Accused Of Groping Athletes. Who Could It Be? (Blog of Hilarity)

Also, Longtime anchor Robin Roberts has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She caught it early so there's a great chance of her beating the "C". Kick it's a** Robin....our thoughts are with you.

ABC's Robin Roberts: 'I Have Breast Cancer' (ABC)

Say what you want about ESPN films, but this one looks like a winner if you ask me. ESPN is producing a two-hour documentary on Japanese Baseball and will more than likely show things about the Sport and Culture that have never been seen in America.

Slated to air in the Spring of 2008, the tentatively titled “Bobby V in Japan” will give baseball fans and viewers unprecedented access to Valentine and his team, while exploring the impact globalization has on the game’s present and future. Additionally, original online webisodes and written blogs detailing the production of the film and baseball life in Japan will be produced exclusively for ESPN.com’s Page 2.

The producers have been granted a rare inside look at a world mostly unknown to the American public. It’s a world where cheerleaders chant between innings, rock bands perform before each game and barbwires keep ecstatic fans from running onto the field.

I've never been one for planning (like today...don't even know what I'm going to write about), but I guess you need to get a jump on these sorts of things...

The quiet park just outside Scottsdale City Hall will play host to two ESPN Super Bowl XLII parties in the days leading up to the game.

ESPN The Magazine plans to host a VIP party on Friday Feb. 1 and a larger, public party on Saturday Feb. 2 at the Scottsdale Civic Center Mall, magazine publicist Ellie Seifert said Tuesday.

The VIP party will be open to celebrities, athletes, ESPN sponsors and network executives.

The name of the event has not yet been decided but will include the name “NEXT” to coincide with ESPN The Magazine’s “NEXT” edition, which lists the next big athletes expected to define the upcoming sports year. Previous NEXT cover athletes include Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Yao Ming and Alex Rodriguez.