Man, for a second there I thought our namesake wasn't going to make a run at the title, but boy was I wrong! Pam Ward just blew everyone out of the water last weekend. From calling kickoffs punts to comparing New Orleans to Malibu......it was just a cornucopia of awfulness from her. Here are the best of the worst from week five.......

10. "Johnson lost himself a fifth grader, about 50 or 60 pounds." - Ray Bentley (Via S2N)

9. "Deon Curry making curry powder out of the Wisconsin defense" - Brad Nessler

8. "Sometimes when you're a Quarterback you have to win with your arm."- Andre Ware

7. "Forget conservative, [Auburn]'re going into Hilary territory on the field."- Mike Patrick on a Tigers 4th down conversion. (Via CR)

6. "It looked like [Dennis Dixon] overthrew him and it just stuck to his gloves like Teflon." - Tim Brant (Teflon does the exact opposite of that Timmy)

5. "He grasps about 85% of our package...."- Quint Kessenich (Via KJ)

4. "That'll bring up 3rd and 2...do you think about going for it here?"- Thom Brenanman (Via Matt)

3. "Trev, we talked about how penalties really don't have much of an impact on the game except when they happen in the blue zone or the red zone or whatever you call it."- Tom Hart (Via Eric)

2. "I like it, because now you don't have to think about how many time outs are left, just look at the top of the screen." - Brad Nessler
"Griese explains the thing every week." - Paul Maguire
"It's still early in the football season, Paul. I'm going to highlight them again later." - Bob Griese
"Bob, you draw the best balls I've ever seen." - Paul Maguire

And of course number one......

1. Every single word that came out of Pam Ward's mouth during the LSU-Tulane game. She should get about 40 points, but we have to stick to the rules and only award her ten.
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Here are the standings after five weeks........

1. Chris Spielman (23)
2. Brad Nessler (20)
3. Gary Danielson (19)
4. Paul Maguire (17)
5. Bob Griese, Lee Corso (16)
7. Mike Patrick (14)
8. Pam Ward (13)
9. Tim Brandt (11)
10. Pat Haden, Dave Pasch, Gerry Dinardo (9)

Others Receiving Votes: Tom Hart (8), Mark Jones (7), Brent Musburger (7), Thom Brennaman (7), Andre Ware (7), Sean McDonough (7), , John Saunders (6), Quint Kessenich (6), Charles Arbuckle (5), Ray Bentley (6), Mike Tirico (4), Dan Fouts (4), Desmond Howard (3), Jim Donnan (3), Doug Flutie (3.5), Erin Andrews (3), Craig James (2.5), Todd Blackledge (2)