Back For More- Live Blog of the 77th Midsummer Classic

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

We'll be back again tonight for an evening of live-blogging action on the 2006 MLB All-Star Game where Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will be on hand as our hosts from Pittsburgh. This promises to be a sure-fire laugher all the way through. See you a little before 8pm everyone.

(Ozzie gives the thumbs up to the live-blog....So should you!)

8:46- I'm in! Finally.....okay sorry about that. Since Fox can't start a broadcast on time I missed one out. Jeter up and almost gets crushed by a Brad Penny pitch. 99mph on that one. You might say he's "over-throwing".

"Unh Unh"- TM imitating Brad Penny. Thanks for that McCarver....thanks a lot.

Penny strikes out the side....screw it over throw. STAND UP!

8:56- Wow, live-blogging baseball is much slower than I thought. I'm just waiting to pounce on McCarver, but he's given me nothing so far. They do have their Pirate stats prepared though...even breaking out a Van Slyke reference. No score after 1.

9:03- I was just wondering about Tonya from Real World/Road Rules Challenge(s). Has there ever been a bigger self-proclaimed whore in the history of television. And what ever happened to her debilitating liver disease?

Fox goes to an untelligible Sounds of the Game. I think it had to be bleeped out because David Wright was cursing again. Vladdy Homers. 1-0, so much for the perfect game Penny.

And the Wiggles provide the Homerun music......riiight Fox, riiiight.

"And Mr. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes hits one at his Shoulders and hits it out"-JB, Here we go....I'm feeling it.

9:12- Wow! Now this is comedy. A Holiday Inn commercial where folks feel Joe Buck's neck and make him talk. How many of the extras did they have to cut because they kept trying to choke him???? Anybody? Anybody? Moving on....

9:15- Uh oh....there's action in the bullpen early. This can't be a good sign for Penny.

"Not only is the guy a great player you can see with the smile on his face that this is a marketable young player"- JB, wow! like him much?

9:24- The AL taps into the bench with Ordonez coming to the plate. Real High scoring affair we have going here. Ken Rosenthal is in the crowd.....fake and bake Ken....fake and bake.

This sure is boring....Will from Deadspin sent me an email early....and I quote, "Have fun....If you CAN".....I'm pretty sure he was trying to jinx me. DAMN YOU WILLIAM!!!!

Other viewing choices at the moment: Supernova- a show about a "Super Group" trying to find a new lead singer (think INXS but worse), and Last Comic Standing. On CBS and NBC.

9:34- Soriano is gunned out at home by Vernon Wells, and Beltran then scores on a Wild Pitch. Did I mention that I'm betting on this game? I figure I'd get it all out in the open before the crack down on the gamblers out there. Cover your tracks everyone.....cover your tracks.

9:40- Brandon Webb in for the come the runs. Even when Tim McCarver is making sense I still hate him.

ARRIBA! ARRIBA! Such a great fitting tribute to Roberto Clemente Fox. Not racist in the least.

9:53- Joe Buck honors Roberto Clemente....shoot me. I love Roberto Clemente and his Autobiography is one of the best books I've ever read (even did a book report on it), but this is not the way to honor him. I bet you Bud thinks the standing O is for him.

"You guys having any fun tonight?"- JB, NOOOOOOOOOO!

10:02- Freddy Sanchez is in.....Yesssss. So is Arroyo. Or excuse me....Brandon Rice. "He can play guitar he can sing"- JB describing said Rice. "When your from Key West Florida you can do those both very well"- TMc , I think that was a Jimmy Buffet reference, but I'm not really sure....either way, good one Timmy.

I've got twenty that says Little Man overtakes Pirates this weekend....who's on board?

"It is not easy constantly playing catchup when you're scoring in an All Star Game"- JB, Yea it's not easy in any situation, and it's gay. I'm the guy that spills the beer on your scorecard JB.

10:13- So the roommate bring out the comment of the night. In a straight voice he says, "Sooo are the Orioles playing tonight?" (Maybe he should be writing this)

10:17- "Albert Pujols almost walked right into Jerek Jeter"- JB, Yea I'm being picky now but they've give me nothing tonight.

10:23- "The Question Mets fans are asking is What if we had Kazmir?"- JB, Yea I'm sure that's what they're asking sitting atop the NL East 10+ games.

Okay that catch by Gary Matthews Jr. was ridiculous (and he's an ex Oriole)

10:30- Joe Buck just killed ESPNs trade deadline rumors with this quote "20 of the 30 teams in the Majors are within 6 games of the playoffs. That's why come the trade deadline there won't be that many moves" I think a hit was just called in.

"He got into a food fight when he was in High School"- David Wright's Father, Wow I guess he hasn't seen the photos of his son taking shots at 2am in NYC


"Tough play for Howard Sanchez....crawls into the web"- Timmy McCarver!!!

Oh thank my lucky stars.....who the hell is Howard Sanchez and the ball crawls into the web????

10:38- "I don't think anyone squares up on the mound quite the way Santana does"- TMc, Umm What????

The Pepcid Complete Double Play......Sponsorship at its finest.

"Jam shot to 2nd"- JB, I'd give anything to get a jamshot these days....but I digress.

10:50- Harold Baines gives a kid a splintered bat.....can someone say lawsuit?

2-1? Really?????

10:53- Is Joe Buck really that popular? And how much did Holiday Inn waste to time these ads with the All Star Game? Did I mention I'm plotting to kill Joe Buck? THAT IS A DISGUSTING ACT!

The Roommate, "Nice hit Brian McCann.....more like Brian McCan't!" The roommate is a Braves fan which makes this funny, but it's really the only thing I'm laughing at now. That and the comments.

11:01- Ninth inning is almost over before I can post this. "Crowd starts to climb back in it"- JB, Suuuuure they do.

FELIPE LOPEZ!!!!!!!! is in the game.

MICHAEL YOUNG! And something actually happens in the game.....

Apparently no one has ever heard of the AL batting Champ before says Buck, and he delivers a two-run double.....on to the Bottom of the ninth, and I think I speak for all of us when I say...

11:12- Mets fans everywhere cringe as Beltran legs that out.....I have a feeling Garner is trying to get him injured.

11:19- So thus ends the worst baseball game ever.......

Wow that ends a WONDERFUL night of "All-Star" Baseball. There was no Tim McCarver quote that could beat this quote, so I will leave you with it......

"Bobby Abreu is so good because he has the lightest grip with his left hand in the league. He grips the bat like a pianist." - Timmy Mc

Repeat pianist over and over and tell me how much more funny that sentence sounds. As always thanks to the troopers (commenters) I appreciate it greatly. Good night, sorry for the technically difficulties, and thanks again for stopping by.

****UPDATE**** Fox has announced that they will have Baseball for the next 7 years....Fuck me. (Sorry Jamie)

****DOUBLE UPDATE**** Brandon Rice sings the outro for the ASG.....I'm going to go hang myself now.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 2:34 PM


I dunno. There may not be enough liquor in the world to help me endure Tim McCarver.

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 3:31:00 PM  

Okay everyone....for some reason is down until about 830/9 for maintenance, so I can't get into the dashboard to make edits to the post. Thus ruining the live-blog.

I'll try to get on later, and feel free to comment in this space. Either way I'll definitely write about the ASG tomorrow.


AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 7:44:00 PM  

Looks like it's up and running again. First prediction: AL 12, NL 5, OG tells David Wright he has "no pro-laim wit youze kinds of people."

Ax to the Road said...
Jul 11, 2006, 8:11:00 PM  

Live blogging is a disgusting act!

Joe Buck said...
Jul 11, 2006, 8:13:00 PM  

What's more embarrassing: the PA announcer derisively saying, "Nice try" in front of 35,000 people, or the wispy moustache viewed by millions? Oh, T. Bell, I know Mom can't make you shave because you're a teenager now, but sometimes you should listen.

Oil Can said...
Jul 11, 2006, 8:17:00 PM  

You know what. I wish ESPN was doing this. They aren't as good for the World Series as Fox. But they have more entertaining personalities and I wish they were covering this game, which isn't really that serious.

Mini Me said...
Jul 11, 2006, 8:22:00 PM  

Damn....for some reason it still won't let me post. Oh well...keep the comments up, and we'll figure this out one way or another.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 8:24:00 PM  

Is Monica Seles at the game? I keep hearing grunting.

Oil Can said...
Jul 11, 2006, 8:56:00 PM  

The Wiggles. Yeah, it's gonna be that kind of night.

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 9:16:00 PM  

As someone who actually remembers Kevin Kennedy as a Texas Rangers manager, I cringe at the very mention of his name.

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 9:21:00 PM  

So the comments are lacking tonight....ah well. I can't hit a homerun everytime. Tim McCarver makes me really mad though, so I'll just rant by myself.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 9:50:00 PM  

So since this is kinda depressing with Ozzie crying (guess that sensitivity training paid off Bud, nice work), who thinks that Bonds is actually going to get some jail time?!?!

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:04:00 PM  

Gatorade... it's in the MLB... is it in you?!?

(Yeah so are HGH and 'roids Joe, I think i'll take a pass on this round)

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:08:00 PM  

I hope the Gallagher brothers beat the shit out of that faggot Arroyo

Goulet said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:11:00 PM  

Oh my God....Bronson Arroyo + accoustic + Wonderwall = poop in me pantalones.

dp said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:12:00 PM  

I prefer the Paul Anka version myself.

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:16:00 PM  

Gary Matthews Jr. is an All-Star and PRONK isn't...what a joke

Goulet said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:18:00 PM  

Isn't it pretty much a universal truth: if you are a shortstop and Ichiro hits it to you, you have to hurry?

Stupid fuckin' McCarver.

dp said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:25:00 PM  

I'm praying for Jail time....I'm going to be the first to live-blog a trial....

Anyone else think this game is even worse than the HR Derby?

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:25:00 PM  

"This is more boring than that stupid World Cup thing" -My Grandfather

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:27:00 PM  

How is it emotional for Gary Matthews Jr. to make his first all star team after being with a bunch of teams?? Who gives a flying fuck Joe, wake the fuck up.

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:29:00 PM  

I bet you grandpa loves arena league football

Goulet said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:30:00 PM  

It was emotional for Matthews, but only because his dad was an all-star -- not because he's been with 6 teams. Maybe Joe just forgot to turn over his index card for the rest of that note.

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:32:00 PM  

Ha, thanks Jamie!

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:33:00 PM  

I doubt he even knows what the Arena League is.. How is it already the 7th inning by the way??

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:33:00 PM  

that's what happens when you get a well-pitched game.

Goulet said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:41:00 PM  

Umm because the game sucks. It's 2-1 in an AllStar game.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:42:00 PM  

Where's the funny tonight? I think this game is draining my lifeforce.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:48:00 PM  

Pepcid and Flomax are your sponsors at this point. I'm intrigued by the implications.

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:49:00 PM  

You would be I-Rod....and that's your officially nickname now.

P.S.- Johnny Depp is dirty and his jawline is weak.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:54:00 PM  

The plane will be a little lighter... fucking IDIOT I HATE YOU


Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:55:00 PM  

Ah man, I didn't know we were getting together to mock McCarver. I'd have brewed a pot of coffee. Fox managed to offend me in less than eight seconds with that cheeseball intro. And why, someone tell me, was Elton John's "Love Lies Bleeding" decided to be a good choice for an all star game intro?

Oh yeah, McCarver says "You're a real man... umm... blog... guy."

Alex said...
Jul 11, 2006, 10:55:00 PM  

There we go Jamie.....let it all out. Not only am I a bad live blogger, but I have a haven where you can air your grievances.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:00:00 PM  

Who gets the MVP for this game? I say Ozzie, for his transformation from a crazy gay-basher to a crying baby on National Television! Go Sensitivity Training!!

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:00:00 PM  

I say give the MVP to Joe Buck for boring me to death, and taking the funny out of me all together. I can't believe that on back-to-back nights Berman or this crew gave me nothing shocking.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:04:00 PM  

Actually I take it back....I give the MVP to Jamie's Grandpa for saying this is more boring than that "Stupid World Cup thing"

Bravo Jamie Sr.!

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:06:00 PM  

A very dissapointing All-Star game and Derby from an announcer standpoint. Also, the lack of YWML signs or any mention of it from Berman....I'm just sad at this point.
In my opinion, all of the Pittsburgh commenters on Deadspin need to be banned, for their dirty lies.

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:07:00 PM  

He's a fucking moron... The American League would have benefited from it hitting the wall you retard McCarver

Jamie said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:10:00 PM  

Oh wow can we PLEASE have extra innings?

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:12:00 PM  

Hey did y'all know that Young won the batting title last year? Yeah, I know. I'm shocked too but that's just what McCarver told me! Like an encyclopedia, that man.

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:12:00 PM  

Well damn. That changed in a hurry. Is Rivera up? I'm only half paying attention.

Here's a good McCarver quote from FireJoeMorgan:

Tim McCarver is trying to explain to America -- following the HPB-foul ball Jermaine Dye controversy -- that a ball that hits a bat will "go down," whereas a ball that hits a player's arm will go "parallel to the ground."

Alex said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:12:00 PM  

Umm... who, exactly, doesn't know Mariano Rivera? Tim? Help?

Alex said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:17:00 PM  

It's called a cutter not a "one speed fastball"

warmsox said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:20:00 PM  

My fav McCarver quote, "During a meeting at the mound between the pitcher and catcher, "You see Colon talking into his glove because David Ortiz, from the Dominican Republic, can obviously read lips in Spanish."

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:22:00 PM  

Hey, the local station is gonna talk to a "former Twins all-star" after the game for opinions and impressions. The list is so long and distinguished, I wonder who it could be. I hope it's Ron Coomer.

Alex said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:27:00 PM  

I vote for Dan Gladden!

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:28:00 PM  


Dazzle man (Gladden) does color commentary for the Twins games on radio. I'm not going to go so far as to say he's good, but he is pretty brutally honest, which can be entertaining.

Alex said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:30:00 PM  


Way to kick me in the face and then leave the air.

Seven more years?!

Time to start drinking.

Alex said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:36:00 PM  

Good heavens. It's like Joe Buck is taunting you AA. Seven more years?

Irene Done said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:37:00 PM  

****UPDATE**** Fox has announced that they will have Baseball for the next 7 years....Fuck me. (Sorry Jamie)

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:37:00 PM  

Thanks everyone as always...and if Dan the Man is out I pick Scott Erickson.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:37:00 PM  

I wasn't sure I could handle sitting through the "news" to find out, but they got it out of the way right at the top.

Kent Hrbek.

No doubt he had advice for how to wrassle a guy off of first base and into an out.

Alex said...
Jul 11, 2006, 11:50:00 PM  

Imagine if you were not a baseball fan and stumbled upon one of those Holiday Inn commercials by accident. It would be almost as disturbing for them as it is for us. WTF.

Ax to the Road said...
Jul 12, 2006, 12:02:00 AM  

Wow so did anyone catch TM's Mark Wahlberg comment at the beginning of the game?

He was describing Brad Penny's fastballs saying it was like "Mark Wahlberg, catch me if you can."

Huh? I would tell you what he said next but blood began spurting from my ears.

Chip Wesley said...
Jul 12, 2006, 3:32:00 PM  

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